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The Blacks’ Organ Vol 1, April 6, 2013

Greetings and welcome to Volume 1 of Substandard, the Blacks Organ, for season 2013. A short and

sharp first Substandard for 2103 as (1) we have a split round with the A/B grades not starting until

next weekend and (2) as per usual we have been cramming to get ready for round 1 so haven’t had

much time to contemplate other matters....so long as we remember to bring guernseys, shorts, socks,

a footy, a slab and ginger wine on Saturday (in reverse order of priority) then we’ll be happy for this

week. As always please get in touch with us at chairman@bobneil.com or call 0414 488 282 with any

feedback or queries.

WEEK 1 PREVIEW

The A and B grade take on Gays r Great at the Mardi Gras park in their last trial game of the pre-

season but I strongly suggest you don’t go to that game and instead get out to watch some genuine

lower grade footy.

We will focus more on the senior squad next week but it has been a very successful off-season in a

playing sense for the entire AUFC with more than 50 clearances in and only around 10 out, and one of

those out is Heiny who, loveable rogue that he is, was last seen at the club getting arrested after Super

Sunday 2011 so that’s no huge loss.

It’s a great testament to the current coaches and players at the club across all of the grades that so

many new players want to play at the club each year and so few want to leave. Long may it continue.

Although somehow after all of that there is still an email loop going around today trying to fill the last

couple of spots in the 6R, and that on a 27 degree day in April at BUO!! Good luck come snow season!

Round 1 for the lower grades as follows:

Div 6 (Sexy Pimp and his C-Men) V Westminster at Uni Oval

Div 6R (The Kenny Everett Video Show) V Westminster at Uni Oval

Div 8 (The Chardonnay Socialists) V Walkerville at Walkerville Oval, Friday Night 6:45

Div 8R (The Scum) V PAOC at Park 10

Div C1 (The B*stards) V PAOC at Park 10

Div Over 35s (The Greys) V Hills Team at Argana Park 3:00 Sunday

The Pimp returns to coaching the C-men with another ex C grade coach Gav Watson in tow to assist.

This week they take on Wes Minister! at beautiful Bob Neil # 1 in what should be a good test to start

the season. Kenny Everitt and his Video Show return to the club with a young group of likely types in

the ressies and we look forward to Kenny having a great impact on that team.

Football Director Homemaker Howie was presented with quite the dilemma when it came to the

scheduling of the other games this weekend. The B*stards in C1 were scheduled to play Friday night

against Max Walkerville at Tangle Park, which posed a major problem given that new coach Rocky

Austin does not give up his loose Friday nights without a fight and he was anticipating still searching

for half of his team post the Presidents Keg. At the same time the Chardonnay Socialists were very

concerned about more than half of their team (and their coach) being unavailable for Saturdays

showdown with the Tarnished Spooners due to Wayne “nickname redundant” King’s poorly timed

bucks show. The solution: the old switcheroo, which will confuse the hell out of Max’s mob and the

tarnished ones come the return bout mid-season. So the Chardonnays play tonight at Tangle Park and

the B*stards tomorrow at Bob Neil # 2, as do the Scum.

For those of you new to the club make sure that you check www.bobneil.com to see what team you’re

playing in this afternoon. If its not on there feel free to ring your coach or Adrian Howard on 0418 809

031. Good luck to all taking the field for the AUFC for the first time. Enjoy the day and most

importantly see you at the Cumby at 6:30 for Hold your Bowlies 2013.

MEMBERS DAY NEXT SATURDAY – ROUND 1 V BROADVIEW

Next Saturday is Round 1 for the A/B Grade, with a massive game in our return to Div 1 against arch

rivals A Broads View at Uni Oval.

The bouncy castle will be in operation, potentially a mini-league game and drink specials for all paid up

members of the club. I’ve got more to say about our membership campaign, so uniquely run by

Rulebook Ashwood, but that will have to wait for next week now. Suffice to say any contribution you

are able to make is hugely appreciated by the club.

So, lock it in the diary now, a big Round 1 back in Div 1 to look forward to.

"HOLD YOUR BOWLIES" – BY CLINT RULES OK?

An extract from a terrific new book called Footy Town, which includes anectodes written by various

footy characters around Australia. To read Rulei’s full article you will need to buy the book, go here to

do so: www.footyalmanac.com.au/almanac-shop/other-books/

For my amateur league club to call itself "The World's Greatest Football Club" may smell like delusions

of grandeur, but under the faux hard-sell of The Adelaide University Football Club, there lies a smirking

spirit. Nicknames - blokes love nicknames. It's a thing we need to do. Over the last 30 years my club has

lifted this mateship ethos to a distinctive level in a way that perhaps only a bunch of young University

students could do. We have had up to nine sides amassing on the border each autumn and not one

player sets foot on the tanned kikuyu without a nickname. But wait, there's more. A lot of clubs have

nicknames, sure, but we also give every team, every home ground, every opposition team and their

ground their own ‘aka’. It’s been a juggernaut of camaraderie for us that has underwritten success and

overdosed our longterm memory with all the good stuff.

You hear nicknames all around the world but us Australian blokes find it so inherently elemental of our

culture that it has become part of our version of the English language. A contrasting piece of our

dialect pie. Our joy of sport, mateship, being Australian and all of the above are unofficially dowelled

together with informal devices such as nicknames. The warming attraction of a nickname for us has its

sticky hook in its light heartedness which dribbles into an unexplainable randomness.

At The AUFC (also known as "The Blacks" - due to our predominantly black playing jumper), your

nickname could be short, long, vague, ironic, witty, dry, cheesy, non-pc, flattering, sarcastic, rude, said

a certain way, sung or something else. You may cop a moniker from something or someone you look

like, something about your name, something you’ve done, not done, a relation, your background, your

footballing prowess or there is no segue at all. Even those ones will still fly. Most teams or grades at

The Blacks are not playing for sheep stations. Unlike those grit-focussed suburban sides. That is not to

say we are playing footy WWF style, we still play seriously to win. It’s just that having a chat over a few

beers after the game whilst passing around a bottle of Stone’s Green Ginger Wine is subconsciously the

biggest reason you got out of bed that morning. The casualness of nicknaming lends itself to our

University brand of a beanbag competitive footy lifestyle.

SNIPPETS FROM TONTO THE UNUSUAL

Chardonnay coterie barred from singing Total Eclipse of the Heart at La Sing due to an overzealous

performance of Sweet Home Alabama resulted in no less than 8 chards + 8 other blokes crowding

around one microphone. This was after a get to know your comrades soiree on Coopers Hill at The

Parade while watching Port get treated with appropriate disdain by Norwood.

Plus in an aise, beatle/vladimir lennon was happy for callum ‘man mountain’ rohde to play chards this

game to get a game under his belt before the big dance next week. But in a fit of karma, due to the

chards biching long and hard about availability of players from higher grades in 2011 and the SAAFL

rewriting the rules regarding players moving up and down grades during stand alone div1, 1 res games

at the start and end of the season (this year 1, 2 and reserve grades), he is not allowed to play unless

he is willing to not be selected the following week in those higher grades...

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