Here's some dating advice for you robots! Not go get a girlfriend. Women like to feel feminine, and what's more feminine than possessing a uterus? That's why it's important to point out, loudly and repeatedly, when someone in y our group is a woman. Every time you say, "Hey, there's a girl here!" or "Lindse y2440 is a girl. A real one!," she'll be flattered that you noticed that she's s omething unique and singular: a female. Everyone knows that women don't like guys who are just looking for sex. sure that you let her know at the first opportunity that you're looking rlfriend. It might be a good idea to point out how long it's been since a girlfriend, so she knows you really, honestly want one, or how unfair your last girlfriend was, so she knows you'll really appreciate her. So make for a gi you had and mean

It's incredibly important to get to know the real person behind the night elf ro gue or witty nickname. Ask for a picture of her, so she knows you care about her as a physical person made of body parts. Another good way to show her you care is to use Google to look up as much real-life information about her as you can, then drop it casually into conversation. A comment like, "I see you take the num ber 24 bus home from work. How late does that run?" can mean the difference betw een a lasting relationship and having her block all communications from you. You know what's great? Chivalry. Chivalry is great. A long time ago a bunch of g uys with horses and swords made up a bunch of rules about how to treat women. If you follow these rules with a woman you like, then she's obligated to like you back. It's the rules! You'll want to watch some movies and play a role-playing g ame or two to pick up the details, but the most important one is to always call her "milady." There's no better way to say, "I am not the humongous dork everyon e thinks I am." A fedora. Get one. Wear it in all pictures posted online. Yeah, that's perfect. When any woman is brought up in group conversations in any context, whether she' s an actress, a doctor or a Supreme Court justice, make sure you point out wheth er you'd like to have sex with that woman. By doing so, you'll make it clear tha t you're a discerning person, and your potential online girlfriend will feel fla ttered that you put her in the same class as an actress with her own reality sho w, and not some wrinkled old lady judge. Let's face it, online communication can be tough, and there will always be misun derstandings. If a woman is turned off or upset by your approach, she'll appreci ate you telling her how she should feel. Explain that you've been behaving in a perfectly reasonable manner, and if she's creeped out instead of flattered, that 's a problem on her end. She'll be relieved to hear that her feelings are invali d and wrong-headed. Now let's address the worst-case scenario: If a woman is bad, then she may not w ant to date you. She will let you know this by saying that she's only interested in being friends. This is a lie. Women don't go online to socialize and make fr iends. They go online to do two things: meet a boyfriend and reject everyone els e. If they can't see how wonderful you are, both as a person and as a guild lead er, then they aren't worth your time. Best to cut things off entirely, demand th e return of anything sent (whether real or virtual), and move on to find someone who appreciates you for the sensitive, understanding guy you are.