qx6 ilf eworkbook v4 - amazon web services

Participant eWorkbook

eWorkbookiLoveFeedback

®

Name:

Copyright©2017 Executive Forum. All rights reserved. Unpublished and confidential property of Executive Forum. It is a violation of the law to reproduce orutilize in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by information storage and retrieval systems,without written permission from the copyright owner.

Table of Contents

©2017 Executive Forum. All rights reserved.

Copyright. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2Table of Contents. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3Turning Point . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4Program Objectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7Feedback Revolution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8Definition of Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10Feedback Factory. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11Kaizen. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12Effects of Positive Feedback on Individuals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14Impact of Positive Feedback on Team Performance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16Giving Feedback Self-Assessment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18Keeping It Real. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21Five Best Practice Steps for Providing Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24Best Practice Step 1 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25Best Practice Step 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33Best Practice Step 3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45Best Practice Step 4 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53Best Practice Step 5 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61Putting It All Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7321-Day Challenge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76


®

Turning PointThink back to two different times you received feedback, one that left you feeling negative and one that left you feeling positive. This will not be shared with the class, unless you choose to.

What was the negative experience?

What made the experience negative?

How did it affect your behavior and attitude?

“Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” — William James


What was the positive experience?

What made the experience positive?

How did it affect your behavior and attitude?


®

This Course Will Include:

➔ Teaching segments➔ Exercises to reinforce skills and concepts➔ Real-life application➔ Comic relief

“Sit down, Brad—I’ve got some character-building

news for you.”

Program Objectives:What will I do differently having attended this training? I will be able to:

➔ 1) Assess my feedback skills and recognize the role of feedback in continual improvement➔ 2) Create the appropriate attitude and approach for providing feedback➔ 3) Check my purposes for sharing feedback and What’s In It For Them (WIIFT) ➔ 4) Consider how cultural, gender, generational differences, and location affect my approach to giving feedback ➔ 5) Share feedback that is specific, observable and increases the receiver’s receptiveness➔ 6) Close the feedback exchange with a shared understanding of next steps for improvement



®

The

Feedback RevolutionCreating a performance culture with feedback


Sports➔ Coaches➔ Teammates

Reality TV ➔ Iron Chef➔ Survivor

Professional ➔ Performance Review➔ Career Development

Notes:

Feedback is information that is shared with a personor group for the distinct purpose of improving resultsor relationships. Effective feedback is not venting,blaming, shaming or yielding to excuses.


Feedback FactoryWithout consistent feedback, we would have a tough time knowing exactly what we need to do to improve our performance. Wecannot wait until a yearly performance review to get information about what we are doing effectively and how to optimize oursuccess. To maximize performance and accelerate success, we must receive feedback consistently, both about what we do well andwhat we could do better.

C O N T I N U A L — I M P R O V E M E N T


®

Kaizen“Kai” means change. “Zen” means wisdom.


Kaizen is about making little adjustments, stepping back to assess what has changed, gauging the results of change, makinganother small adjustment, then proceeding again. It is a process of self-correcting action that involves tweaking, trying, learning,and trying again.

In the area below, take two minutes to list “observable triggers” you are aware of in your daily life that empower you to self-correct.

Effects of Positive Feedback on Individuals

Clinical studies have shown that feedback has many benefits for employees, including:

Creates more productive employees➔ Widens scope of attention➔ Broadens behavioral repertoires➔ Increases intuition and creativity

Promotes healthy mental and physical outcomes➔ Strengthens the immune system➔ Creates resilience➔ Increases happiness and longevity➔ Lowers cortisol levels and possibility of strokes


®

Barbara Fredrickson, PhD, principal investigator at the PepLab, has spentyears studying control groups to discover how positive emotions “broaden andbuild,” while negative emotions “narrow focus,” making people rigid anddefensive.

Positive emotions: ➔ Expand thinking and choices➔ Lead to more perspectives

Negative emotions:➔ Create “fight, flight, or freeze” responses➔ Close off dialogue

When you, as the provider of feedback, practice a “positive emotions ritual”before speaking, you make yourself more resilient and ready the receiver forsuccess...and you both will stay healthier.

Positive emotions and exercise go together. ➔ They both produce the chemistry cocktail of energy:

dopamine, serotonin, and endorphin. ➔ In combination they lower the chemistry of stress...you are

happy and energized. ➔ It’s like wearing a Hawaiian shirt; you can’t be angry and

wear a Hawaiian shirt at the same time. When you set youremotions to “positive,” you give yourself extra years tohave fun on this planet.

Cultivating Positive Emotions to Optimize Health and Well-being. Fredrickson, Barbara L.Prevention & Treatment, Vol 3(1), Mar 2000, No Pagination Specified Article 1.



®

In a study published in American Behavioral Psychologist, psychologists described the communication of 60 business unit management teams as they developed their annual strategic plans. Based onprior performance records, the teams were divided into three levels of performance: 15 high-performance teams, 26 mid-performance teams, and 19 low-performance teams. These performance levelswere based on objective data around profitability, customer satisfaction, and 360˚ assessments of the team by superiors, peers, and subordinates.

The teams’ interactions took place in a Capture Lab specifically designed for research, where all the communication “acts” could be studied and coded as positive or negative by trained observers.

Positive Speech Act: Supportive, appreciative, and encouraging Negative Speech Act: Disapproving, cynical, and sarcastic

The findings of the study showed that in High-Performing Teams, for every 5 positive acts demonstrated, there was 1 negative. For Medium-Performing teams, there were slightly more positive actsthan negative, and in Low-Performing teams, people demonstrated little effort to offset negative acts with positive ones. In conclusion, High-Performing Teams communicate in a positive manner over80% of the time.

Preformance Category Ratio of Positive to Negative Speech ActsHigh-Performing Teams 5.614:1Medium-Performing Teams 1.855:1Low-Performing Teams 0.363:1

Impact of Positive Feedback on Team Performance

A ten-year study of 200,000 people found dramatically greater businessresults when managers offered constructive praise.

The Carrot Principle, co-authors Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, The Jackson Organization

High-Performing Teams were: ➔ Able to broaden behavioral repertoires and critical thinking

skills➔ More flexible and resilient to adversity➔ Outwardly focused vs. inwardly focused (team vs. individual)

- i.e., used more social resources➔ Capable of operating with optimal functioning

Low-Performing Teams were:➔ Stuck in self-advocacy from the start➔ Caught in an endless loop centered on their needs➔ Inflexible in their behavior

“The Role of Positivity and Connectivity in the Performance of Business Teams.” American Behavioral Psychologist. February 2004.



®

Think of a specific setting — work, home, orcommunity —then rate eachstatement.

Giving Feedback Self-Assessment Please manually enter only ONE desired number (1-5) in the boxes on each line

Never ➔ Sometimes ➔ Always

1. I understand the importance of giving both positive and negative feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

2. I think I would give feedback more often if I knew how. 1 2 3 4 5

3. I offer feedback on performance in a timely manner. 1 2 3 4 5

4. I consider how technology impacts my delivery of feedback and use the most appropriate tool to deliver the message. 1 2 3 4 5

5. When I share my observations as feedback, they are so clear that anyone listening would readily come to the same conclusion. 1 2 3 4 5

6. I am able to show appreciation for the other person even when I am disappointed with his/her behavior or performance. 1 2 3 4 5

7. I thank the other person when I have finished providing feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

8. I easily accept that other people may have a different perception than I do. 1 2 3 4 5

9. I offer feedback when I have adequate physical energy and a positive attitude. 1 2 3 4 5

10. I tend to be very specific in the feedback I provide. 1 2 3 4 5

11. I ask for permission before I give feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

12. We both leave the meeting with clear expectations for the next steps. 1 2 3 4 5

13. I know, and plan for, my best time of day for giving feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

14. My primary goal for providing feedback is to help the other person improve. 1 2 3 4 5


15. I am not judgmental when I give feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

16. I use a respectful tone when I give feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

17. My feedback is more dialogue than monologue. 1 2 3 4 5

18. I check my attitude before I offer feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

19. When I give feedback, I think about what’s in it for them? 1 2 3 4 5

20. I keep in mind generational differences as I deliver the feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

21. I have feedback sessions when both parties have the best energy and are comfortable. 1 2 3 4 5

22. I try to leave a “positive emotional wake” whenever I give feedback. 1 2 3 4 5

23. I am good at checking my emotions during spontaneous feedback sessions. 1 2 3 4 5

24. I believe I could get better at giving feedback if I practiced. 1 2 3 4 5

25. I love giving feedback! 1 2 3 4 5

Where you stand on the Feedback Ladder Points Total

111-125 You are on the final rung of the ladder. Turn around, reach down, and help lift others up the Feedback Ladder.

86-110 You are past the halfway point on the ladder. Continue up the ladder with confidence as you practice and apply these steps and tools.

66-85 Both your feet are off the ground and on the ladder. This course will boost your climb and move you upward.

25–65 You know where you stand. Your feet are still on the ground. Take the first steps up the Feedback Ladder by learning more.


®

To My Manager

Example: Quinn does not return emails or phone calls.Leslie thanked me for putting in extra hours for a project.

➔

To My Peers/Colleagues/Teammates

Example: Pat interrupts me when I am talking (especially during staff meetings).Tom is considerate about talking too loudly on the phone.

➔

In My Personal Life

Example: My spouse was late for dinner three times last week.My children weeded the lawn without being asked.

➔

To My Customers (Internal or External)

Example: Sam in Accounting is usuallytwo days late with the monthly report.Ronnie brought homemade cookies to our department.

➔

My situations for giving feedback:

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not.” — Theodor Seuss Geisel, a.k.a. Dr. Seuss

What could be improved if you do provide feedback?

Our working relationship and the effectiveness of ourstaff meetings will improve. This will keep us on track tomeet our team’s goals and deadlines. I will feel morecomfortable and willing to share my ideas and expressmy concerns in meetings.

What would happen if you do not provide feedback?

I am becoming frustrated, even angry, with her.I am finding that I do not want to speak up in meetings. I think our currently productive staff meetings will suffer, as will our work relationship.We might fail.

To:

Feedback Situation:

Coworker Pat cuts me off in meetings while I

am speaking.

What could be improved if you do provide feedback?What would happen if you do not provide feedback?To:

Feedback Situation:

Keeping It Real: Select one of the specific situations you described on the previous page and identify one example to use in this course. This is an important activity because it begins the process of applyingiLoveFeedback® skills to real-life situations.



®

So why don’t I?As important as feedback is, giving it remainsproblematic for most of us. In order to continue toprogress, our success depends more on ourinterpersonal skills and on our ability to developeffective work relationships with key individualsthan on our technical competence.

What I say to myself that holds me back:

What if they get mad at me?

Who am I to offer feedback?

I don’t know how to give feedback.

I don’t see them regularly, so I don’t need to confront them about it.

They are more experienced than I am, so I am sure they know whatthey are doing.

What it could mean:

Fear of the other person’s reaction. People can become defensiveand emotional when confronted with feedback.

Low competence and confidence in sharing feedback. Providingfeedback is not in the job description.

Lack of practice. It feels uncomfortable and does not feel worth thetrouble.

I have a remote team and sending feedback through email or overthe phone is hard because I cannot see facial expressions or becertain if they received the feedback in the way it was intended tobuild results and relationships.

I am nervous about giving feedback to someone who is older andmore established than me in the organization. I was taught to respectmy elders.

Why am I so reluctant to provide feedback?


“I’m right there in the room, and no one even

acknowledges me.”

Keeping It Real: What are some reasons you don’t share feedback?


®

Five Best Practice Steps for Giving Feedback

ONE

Find your zone

TWO

Get smart

THREE

Create the message

FOUR

Deliver the feedback

FIVE

Encourage, energize, &end well


Best Practice Step1: Find Your Zone

TWO

Get smart

THREE

Create themessage

FOUR

Deliver thefeedback

FIVE

Encourage,energize, &end well

ONE

Find yourzone


®

Best Practice Step1: Find Your ZoneFirst you have to be ready to give feedback. Only then should you consider the other person’s readiness to receive it. Then, it is all about the other person. As flight attendants remind us each time theyprepare the plane for takeoff, when the oxygen masks are released from the compartment over your head, first put on your oxygen mask, then help others.


Review the feedback situation you selected on page 21. Imagine you are going to give the other person the feedback right now!

What are you feeling emotionally and physically?

After the facilitator provides instructions, imagine sharing this feedback now. What feels different?


®

Create your ideal feedback zoneCreating your zone is about preparing yourself before you give the feedback. With a little practice and a lot of self-awareness, you can find your zone. Three elements make up your zone: Energy, Attitude, and Environment.


Energy:

➔ Am I calm and centered?➔ Am I defensive about the topic, result, or anticipated

outcome?➔ Am I still angry, hurt, or disappointed? (If so, this is not the

right time to give the feedback.)➔ Do I feel confident that I am able to give the feedback

effectively?➔ Am I rested and feeling sharp?➔ Am I anxious or full of nervous energy?

Attitude:

➔ Am I confident that the feedback is about improvement?➔ Am I giving the feedback to shame or blame the person? (If

so, I should not give the feedback.)➔ Do I know how I can support the person receiving the

feedback and making the needed changes?➔ Will I be able to show candor and grace?➔ Am I prepared with the facts?

Environment:

➔ Is the feedback timely?➔ Is the location ideal (secluded, quiet, and comfortable)?➔ Is this feedback session a follow-up or a regularly scheduled

session?➔ Is this my best time of day to give the feedback?➔ Find your time (zone) ➔ What is the best format for delivering feedback if I can’t do

so face-to-face?

Keeping It Real: Find Your Zone Using the feedback situation you outlined on page 21, what can you do to create the ideal feedback zone?


®

Energy

What can I do to prepare the right energy level for myself?

Example (co-worker Pat): I feel exhausted by Pat’s interruptions, and that makes me nervous. I need to take a quick walk around the buildingbefore our team meetings and listen to an energizing tune on my iPod.


Attitude

How can I frame the situation to achieve my ideal zone?How will my feedback be of service to this person?

Example: I really enjoy Pat’s enthusiasm and knowledge. I think she respects my judgment regarding how teams work best together. I can be ofservice to Pat if I offer my view on how improving her interpersonal skills will help her to grow with the team.


®

Environment

How can I create the ideal environment for myself and the other person?What is the best location? Is this discussion in person or virtual?What is the best time?Can U txt fdbk…no U cant!

Example: We see each other most often in team meetings. I will schedule a time after a team meeting in the coffee shop, where I feel most relaxed.


Tips

Feedback is most effective when it’s positive.

Before every formal feedback session, take a few minutes to

consider how you can reframe your feedback.

Tools

Put on your own oxygen mask first. Being in a positive state

of mind is essential for giving feedback.

Use a feedback checklist form as part of your feedback ritual,

to write notes as you are preparing for feedback.

Tactics

Keep your emotions as calm as possible, especially when

presenting negative feedback.

If you’re feeling anxiety, be sure to breathe deeply from

your diaphragm, rather than your chest. Deep diaphragmatic

breathing eases anxiety.

Tips, Tools & Tactics


ONE

Find yourzone

Best Practice Step 2: Get Smart

THREE

Create themessage

FOUR

Deliver thefeedback

FIVE


TWO

Get smart


®

Best Practice Step2: Get SmartPerception

“You have a filter, a characteristic way of responding to the world around you. We all do...your filter is unique. It sorts through every stimulus and creates a world that only you can see. The filter canaccount for the fact that the same stimulus produces vastly different reactions in you from those in the person next to you.” First, Break All the Rules — by Marcus Buckingham


1. Who is this? What is he/she saying?

2. Where is he/she?

What are the societal and/or cultural factors that affect my perception?


®

Getting smart means youCheck your perceptions and your purpose for sharing the feedback. Ask yourself how this feedback will help the other person improve or sustain a current level of success.

Why is this step important? Often we overlook the true reason for wanting to provide feedback and whether or not it gives the recipient an opportunity to make steadyimprovement. We act quickly out of frustration, anger, confusion, the desire to punish, or other less productive emotions. To be fair and effective,we must first determine what we hope to accomplish by offering the feedback. The feedback must be presented in a way that is clear, concise,articulate, and descriptive enough to ultimately lead to improvements in results or relationships.

Get smart about how this feedback helps the other person to improve by determining:➔ What is the intent?➔ What’s in it for them? (WIIFT)


Example:➔ What is the intent?

— To stop Pat from cutting me off in meetings when I am talking.

➔ What’s in it for them? (WIIFT)— When you cut me off in meetings, I get angry and frustrated. I don’t feel respected and find myself

mentally checking out of the discussion. I wonder why I came to a meeting where I expected to havemy ideas and input heard by the team. I leave the team meetings feeling as though they are a wasteof my time. You’ve shared with me how important this project is to you, and how much you want tocontribute to a positive team experience. You have also shared with me how important it is to haveeveryone on the team respect each other, and be open to the ideas shared in the team meeting. I knowI shut down and don’t contribute new information when you interrupt me. Checking out and notsharing data could negatively impact the results of the project and the experience of the team.

WIIFM WIIFT


®

Practice Get Smart Feedback to a Direct Report:

Jason, an employee who reports to you, has promised to give you information for a project you are working on together. When you askedhim for the status of the information, he said he would try to get it to you by the end of the day. Now it is 5:30 p.m., you do not have theinformation (nor did you hear from him), and you just saw him leave for the day. More about Jason: He is near retirement and has been a dedicated employee throughout his career.

You want to give Jason feedback tomorrow morning.

Get smart about how this feedback helps Jason improve by determining:

➔ What is the intent?

➔ What’s in it for them? (WIIFT)


Practice Get SmartFeedback to Boss:

Your boss, Kim, has asked you to represent the department and serve on a newly established multidisciplinary team. You and Kim have discussed howyour participation will give the department the visibility and credibility it needs with the rest of the organization. The team has met three times, and eachtime Kim has asked you to miss the meeting and cover other functions in the department.More about Kim: Kim is new to the organization. After the organization merged with a South American company, Kim was relocated to manage yourteam to help integrate the merger. Kim has her hands full with moving her life and family, as well as learning her new role and the organizational culture.

You want to talk to Kim about her diverting you from the meetings.

Get smart about how this feedback helps Kim improve by determining:




®

Practice Get SmartFeedback to a Peer:

Your organization has a new initiative to increase customer satisfaction by 50% by the end of the year. Five critical behaviors have been identi-fied that are directly linked to improving customer satisfaction. You just observed Robbie, a peer who has recently gone through the customerservice training, effectively demonstrating several of the key behaviors with an unhappy customer.More about Robbie: Robbie is a ‘guy’s guy.’ He is very influential among his peers. Both you and Robbie were brought to the department at thesame time. Robbie likes the spotlight and that intimidates you.

You want to give Robbie feedback as soon as possible on what you observed.

Get smart about how this feedback helps Robbie improve by determining:




Get smart about how this feedback will help the other person improve results or relationships.



Keeping It Real: Get Smart Refer to the original feedback situation you have been working on page 21.

Tips

Feedback is not about hierarchy or position; it is about

helping the recipient, and the overall project or

responsibility, do better.

Look at your workplace with the eyes of the recipient of

your feedback. How would the setting make you feel if you

were invited into it for a dialogue with a supervisor or

manager?

Tools

Give the feedback self-assessment to your direct reports.

What do they think effective feedback is?

Develop an employee “scouting report.” Write notes to help

you better understand your colleagues or direct reports.

Tactics

Find out how many members of your team participated in

organized activities. Ask them about the coaching style they

experienced and what they learned from their coaches and

from the style of feedback those coaches offered.

Develop a good sense of the daily rhythms and how energy

levels rise and fall among the people you provide feedback

to. Time your feedback sessions accordingly.



ONE

Find yourzone

Best Practice Step 3: Create the Message

TWO

Get smart

FOUR

Deliver thefeedback

FIVE


THREE

Create themessage

“Words, the fragile vessels of our meanings, easily lose their way in the channels of others’ minds.” — Charles E. Dwyer

Best Practice Step 3: Create the MessageWhat percent do you associate with each word when you hear it?

Word or phrase Percentage

➔ Often 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Sometimes 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Some people 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Never 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Most of the time 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Usually 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ A lot 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Almost everybody 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Rarely 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Frequently 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ A little bit 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

➔ Nobody 0 10 20 30 40 50 60 70 80 90 100 Percent

Feedback must be specific and observableThis is best described as: All persons seeing or hearing the same thing would easily and readily come to the same conclusion.

Specific is:Explicit or precise

Free from ambiguity Quantitative

Observable is:NoticeableDiscernible

Unmistakable

➔

➔

➔

➔

➔

➔

Specific is not:➔ Vague➔ Exaggerated➔ Absolute

Observable is not:➔ Subjective ➔ Full of adjectives or adverbs➔ Biased



®

Your poor social skills made youthink you could interrupt me twice

during the last staff meeting.

You are so rude. You always interrupt me when I am talking.

Ambi

guou

s Sp

ecifi

c

Judgmental Observable

You interrupted me twice duringlast week’s staff meeting.

Four Quadrants of Feedback


Rewrite the following statements to describe a specific and observable behavior as taught on page 48.

Example: You are always interrupting me.

During last week’s staff meeting, you interrupted me twice when I was trying to share new information or ask a question.

1. Often your reports have errors.

2. Your customer service is wonderful.

What did you observe? Be as specific as possible. What words would you use to clearly articulate how this behavior gets in the way of, or promotes, this person’s success?

Example

Your Feedback

Our staff meetings serve several purposes that you have told me are important toyou: sharing new information, testing assumptions, keeping the project on track,and strengthening our working relationship so that we can continue to receive exciting high-profile projects. When you interrupt me, I have concerns that ourteam will not make the best decisions and grow as a strong team for future work.

In last week’s staff meeting, you interruptedme twice.The first time was when I wasgiving my status report, which included newinformation, and the second time was while Iwas asking Rita a question.

Keeping It Real: Create the Message Complete the following activity using your pre-selected feedback situation on page 21.

Tips

Feedback is about information, an opportunity to teach,

learn, and grow.

Humor can be tricky - or worse - in feedback contexts; think

hard before including a joke in a performance review.

Tools

Keep an eye out for creative opportunities to give feedback

to your team.

Take a moment to evaluate the lighting, seating and other

aspects of your workplace. Could anything be changed to

make the space more inviting and appealing?

Tactics

Create a feedback journal and stick to it, recording examples

of feedback sessions and their outcomes.

Review the details that support the content of your

feedback, and make sure that you include only those details

absolutely necessary to make your immediate points.



ONE

Find yourzone

Best Practice Step 4: Deliver the Feedback

TWO

Get smart

THREE

Create themessage

FIVE


FOUR

Deliver thefeedback


®

Best Practice Step 4: Deliver the FeedbackHow? ➔ Ask for permission ➔ Be appreciative ➔ Share the feedback

Asking for permission and saying thanks are two expressions of the virtue of Gratitude. Cicero asserted that, “Gratitude is not only thegreatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” To ask permission indicates some humility on the part of the provider of feedback andthus sets a constructive tone for the conversation to follow. The new school of Positive Psychology uses the science of psychology to studypositive emotions and “what helps things go right” for people. One of those emotions is gratitude. If you ask permission and follow up withthanks, you change the environment for a potentially tough conversation.

“The significance of gratitude lies in its ability to enrich human life...it elevates, itenergizes, it inspires, it transforms...it promotes positive outcomes.” — Robert Emmons, PhD


Ask for permission The very act of asking for permission to give feedback is extremely effective in changing a potentially negative situation into a positive one.Asking permission tells the other person you respect him/her and puts the listener into a more receptive mode.

Examples of asking permission to give feedback:➔ “I’d like to give you some feedback on this report. Is that OK with you?”

➔ “I saw/heard something, and I’d like to check my understanding/perception with you. Is now a good time?”

➔ “May I offer some feedback on this project?”

➔ “There is something I have noticed/observed. Can we talk about it?”


®

Your Feedback Situation:Example:Example:

Expertise on the subject matterHer enthusiasmCoordinating last year’s

holiday partyHer sense of humorDriving me home when my

car wouldn’t start

Outside the working relationship, cultural

traditions, generational respect, and

understanding gender roles can shape not

only how appreciation is delivered but also

how it is accepted.

Before showing appreciation, first consider

cultural factors as well as the recipient’s

identity and experience.

Be appreciativeBeing appreciative of the positive contributions someone makes to a team, organization, or project, or showing appreciation for their expertise orfriendship, is key to demonstrating that you sincerely value the other person. Showing appreciation is not about sugarcoating, sandwiching “the realfeedback” between two positive statements, or flattering. Sincere appreciation helps set the stage for open acceptance to feedback.

Refer to your feedback situation on page 21. Below identify at least three things that you appreciate about the person who will receivethe feedback. Then, from your list, circle the items that are most relevant to the feedback situation.


Share the feedbackSharing feedback is more than just “telling it like it is.” While it is important to state the observed behaviors on which you want tocomment, it is also important to understand the immediate impact of your words on the person receiving them. If the person is notable to accept your feedback, or if your feedback is delivered in such a way as to make that person shut down and not hear what youare saying, you will not be successful – and your relationship may be damaged.

To share the feedback effectively, the following must be part of the message:

➔ Respectful tone

➔ Open body language (yours and the other person’s)


®

Your Feedback Situation

➔ How will you ask for permission:

➔ What is your statement of appreciation:

Example

Pat, do you have time for a quick cup ofcoffee? I would like to share some of myobservations about today’s meeting with you.

I really appreciate your enthusiasm for theproject, and in my opinion, you have moreexpertise on the subject matter than anyoneelse on the team.

Keeping It Real: Deliver the Feedback Using your pre-selected feedback situation, answer the following questions.

Tips

Effective feedback is specific, realistic, and timely.

Take time to understand the thinking preferences and

behaviors of those you work with and adjust your language

and communication style to suit theirs.

Tools

Is there something creative you can do at the start or end of

your message to get the recipient into the emotional place

you want him/her to be?

Add ability to give and receive feedback to every job

description. This goes a long way toward laying the

foundation for a feedback-rich culture.

Tactics

Start out by asking permission to give them feedback. It

lends a powerful psychological framework for their

acceptance.

Honesty remains the best policy, and when delivering

feedback, remember that honesty is only one aspect of

candor. Be candid with your feedback, and encourage others

to do the same.



ONE

Find yourzone

Best Practice Step5: Encourage, Energize,& End Well

TWO

Get smart

THREE

Create themessage

FOUR

Deliver thefeedback

FIVE



®

Best Practice Step5: Encourage, Energize,& End WellTrue and effective feedback is not a “hit and run” activity. Telling someone what to do may change their behavior – this time. But does it get to the root cause or explain why change would be beneficial, so the other person canchoose to change? Unless you want to revisit that same one-sided conversation again and again, a mutually respectful dialogue about expectations, challenges, and other keyfactors needs to occur. Try the following five steps achieve this:

➔ Offer support ➔ Encourage dialogue➔ Listen attentively➔ Determine next steps➔ Say thank you


Offer support While it may be the person receiving the feedback who needs to change or continue a behavior, it is your responsibility to support this per-son if possible. Change is hard. As the person providing the feedback, you may need to offer support and encouragement to this person. Asimple offer of, “What can I do to help you be more aware of your interruptions?” may mean the difference between success and failure forthe person.

Examples:➔ Would it help to talk with someone who has been successful with this type of change?➔ How have you been successful changing behavior in the past?➔ What obstacles do you anticipate?➔ What could be your next step?


®

Encourage openness and dialogueIt is important to create dialogue and the expectation of shared responsibility. You brought the observable behavior to the attention ofthe other person; now it is time for the other person to join the conversation. Accomplish this by asking open-ended questions thatshow your interest, instead of just issuing a mandate to do things as you see fit.

Open–ended, encouraging questions often begin with “What” or “How.” Questions that begin with “Why” can send a message of judg-ment from you and create defensiveness in the recipient. Example: “How can I help you with your interruptions in meetings?”versus “Why can’t you stop interrupting me?”

Examples:➔ What needs our immediate attention? ➔ What are you willing to do, and when are you willing to do it?➔ How will you know you have been successful?


Keeping It Real: Encourage, Energize, & End Well

ACTIVITY: Change the following questions into encouragement.

➔ Are you concerned about the new procedure?

➔ Why can’t you make the change?


®

Energize through listening attentively➔ Stop talking➔ Try not to be defensive➔ Respond in ways that show you are interested ➔ Watch non-verbal cues:

● body language● gestures ● eye contact ● tone of voice ● facial expressions ● proximity to the other person

➔ Ask ➔ Clarify➔ Lead by example


Keeping It Real: Encourage, Energize, & End Well

ACTIVITY: Find a partner. Take turns getting the feel for how to use more than just words to energize the feedback session. Each person willread their assigned statement twice. The first time, say the sentence in a way that does not energize and does not encourage dialogue. For thesecond reading, say the sentence in a way that energizes and encourages dialogue.

Facilitator example: What could you do to decrease your interruptions in meetings?➔ How might you be able to offer better service to your customers?

➔ What is preventing you from following this procedure?


®

Determine next steps At this point in the conversation, you and the person receiving the feedback have discussed specific observations and agreed upon thebehavior that needs to change or continue. Unless the two of you solidify what is going to happen next — identifying specific actionitems, plus a timeframe for accomplishing them — you cannot be certain a change will be made or a positive behavior will continue.

This part of the conversation requires two essential elements:➔ Action item - what specific things will the person do that will stop or continue the desired behavior? ➔ Deadline for completing the action item


Say thank you. Be specificThank the other person for:

➔ Listening with an open mind➔ Hearing the feedback➔ Caring about the working relationship➔ Committing to common goal(s)

Listen for reasons why you want to thank the other person. What you initially think (thank you for listen-ing) may change to something more important in the conversation (thank you for caring enough abouthow we work together to hear this feedback and consider it important).


®

Keeping It Real: Encourage, Energize, & End Well Using the feedback situation from page 21, answer the following questions:

Question

How would you offer support?

What is an open–ended question you might need to ask?

What non–verbals will you watch in yourself

and the other person?

What is the next step and when?

What could you say when you thank the other person?

Example

What can I do to help you realize you areinterrupting me?

What has helped you in the past to break difficult habits?

I will keep eye contact and not rush myresponses.

Pat has agreed to watch for interruptionsright away. I can expect to see improvementsat tomorrow’s staff meeting.

I will thank Pat for listening with an open mindand for her willingness to improve in this area.

Brainstorm your situation with each question


Tips

Positive doesn’t mean rose-colored or sugar-coated.

Begin and end feedback sessions with positives, helping

ensure that the recipients enter and depart in as positive a

frame of mind as possible.

Tools

Develop a “feedback provided” process, whether its a

notation on your calendar or a note in an employee file.

This is a great way to track your feedback sessions.

Maintain at least a 3:1 positive to negative feedback ratio.

Tactics

No matter how the session went, always thank the

participants at the end.

A properly prepared for and executed feedback session is an

excellent opportunity to interact with employees and

enhance their performance.



®

Five Best Practice Steps for Giving Feedback

ONE

Find your zone

TWO

Get smart

THREE

Create the message

FOUR

Deliver the feedback

FIVE

Encourage, energize, &end well


Putting it All TogetherReview your feedback situation on page 21. Make any final notes or changes on your Keeping It Real exercises as appropriate.

Find a partner and decide who will go first.

Describe to your partner the “role” that he/she will play. Act out the feedback situation using the five Best Practice Steps.

Switch and ensure that you and your partner provide feedback to each other about how you each delivered the feedback!

Notes:


®

1. Find your Zone.

Energy: Attitude: Environment:

3. Create the Message.

What did you observe?

What words would you use to clearly articulate how this behavior gets in the way of, or promotes, this person’s success?

2. Get Smart.

What is the intent?

What’s in it for them? (WIIFT)

Name Date

Feedback Situation


4. Deliver the Feedback.

How will you ask for permission?

What is your statement of appreciation?

Share the feedback, as recorded above in Step 3: Create the Message.

5. Encourage, Energize, & End Well.

How would you offer support?

What is an open-ended question you might need to ask?

What non-verbals will you watch in yourself and the other person?

What are the action items and deadlines?

What could you say when you thank the other person?

www.ilovefeedback.com • 303-796-0444

qx6 ilf eworkbook v4 - amazon web services

Documents