Professional Communication

Personality and Communication

Who we are directly impacts how we communicate.

Becoming aware of ourselves allows to be better communicators.

Review and Analysis

Take a moment to privately review your

Personality test result, as well as the

results of the communication style.

What pleased you?What surprised you?What disturbed you?

.What makes-up your mix?

List 4 things that make-up who you are, that influences how you communicate with others?

Types of Communication

VerbalParaverbalBody LanguagePersonal Space

Assertive and ExpressiveHigh Assertive Low assertive

High Expressive Low Expressive

Tell

Confident

Task oriented

Active

Ask

Process oriented

Deliberate

Attentive

Focused

Independent

Private

Versatile

Sociable

Demonstrative

Listening is the ability to accurately receive Listening is the ability to accurately receive messages in the communication processmessages in the communication process

Listening is key to all effective communicationListening is key to all effective communication

Listening is so important that many top employers give Listening is so important that many top employers give regular listening skills training for their employees. regular listening skills training for their employees.

This is not surprising when you consider that This is not surprising when you consider that good good listening skills can lead to: better customer listening skills can lead to: better customer satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, satisfaction, greater productivity with fewer mistakes, increased sharing of information that in turn can lead increased sharing of information that in turn can lead to more creative and innovative work.to more creative and innovative work.

What is listening?

5 Intents of Listening5 Intents of Listening

1.1. To WinTo Win2.2. To PersuadeTo Persuade3.3. To Learn and UnderstandTo Learn and Understand4.4. To Be PresentTo Be Present5.5. To BeTo Be

Active ListeningActive ListeningHear What People are Really SayingHear What People are Really Saying

Listening is one of the most important skills Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. How well you listen has a you can have. How well you listen has a major impact on your job effectiveness, major impact on your job effectiveness, and on the quality of your relationships and on the quality of your relationships with others. with others.

Given all this listening we do, you wouldGiven all this listening we do, you would

think we'd be good at it!think we'd be good at it!

Active Listening SkillsActive Listening Skills

AttendingAttending

A: Eye contact A: Eye contact B: Posture B: Posture

C: GestureC: Gesture ParaphrasingParaphrasing ClarifyingClarifying Perception CheckingPerception Checking SummarizingSummarizing EmpathyEmpathy

A good listener A good listener will listen not will listen not only to what is only to what is being said, but being said, but also to what is also to what is left unsaid or left unsaid or only partially only partially said.said.

Non-verbal communicationsNon-verbal communications facial expressionsfacial expressions tone and pitchtone and pitch gesturesgestures body language body language physical physical distance between communicators distance between communicators

These non-verbal signals can give clues andThese non-verbal signals can give clues andadditional information and meaning over andadditional information and meaning over and

above spoken (verbal) communicationabove spoken (verbal) communication

Communication BlocksCommunication Blocks

rite…

right…

write…

The Written Word

Notes & Drafts

Write to understand, then to be understood.

Make sure you have spell and grammar check on. Set to the right language.

Have it edited and proofed.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Cautions

Professionalism in the Digital Age

Don’t send things out when your angry.

Difficult things should be addressed in person.

Keep your private life private and your professional life professional

It is better to have private FB & Tweet accounts and separate professional ones.

Everything lives in cyberspace forever!

Introduction to NVCIntroduction to NVC

In Marshall In Marshall Rosenberg’s Rosenberg’s own wordsown words..

ComponentComponent

ObservationObservationThe concrete actions or behaviorsThe concrete actions or behaviors

FeelingsFeelingsHow I feel in relations to the observed behaviorHow I feel in relations to the observed behavior

NeedsNeedsThe need, values, desires that create the feelingThe need, values, desires that create the feeling

RequestRequestThe concrete we request in order to enrich our livesThe concrete we request in order to enrich our lives

Components of Non-Violent Communication

ComponentComponent ResponseResponseObservationObservationThe concrete actions or behaviorsThe concrete actions or behaviors

FeelingsFeelingsHow I feel in relations to the observed behaviorHow I feel in relations to the observed behavior

NeedsNeedsThe need, values, desires that create the feelingThe need, values, desires that create the feeling

RequestRequestThe concrete we request in order to enrich our The concrete we request in order to enrich our liveslives

Non-Violent Communication Method

Observing without Evaluating

Feelings: (1.5)

Empathic ListeningEmpathic Listening

ComponentComponent ResponseResponse

ObservationObservationWhat am I hearing?What am I hearing?

FeelingsFeelingsWhat are the feelings I’m hearing?What are the feelings I’m hearing?

NeedsNeedsWhat is the need that is not being met?What is the need that is not being met?

RequestRequestWhat request might I make, if I were in What request might I make, if I were in their place?their place?

5 Minute

Break!!!

Crucial Conversations

What is a crucial conversation?Any conversation that has the possibility of moving into tension or stress.

Any conversation when the stakes are high.

Examples

Ending a relationship Talking to a coworker about offensive

behavior Asking a friend to repay a loan Giving the pastor feedback on his behavior Talking to a boss that is breaking his own

safety or quality policies Critiquing a colleague’s work

Asking a roommate to move out. Resolving a custody or visitation issue. Dealing with a rebellious teen. Talking to a team member that isn’t

keeping his commitments. Confronting a loved one about substance

abuse. Giving unfavorable performance review. Firing a volunteer.

A Strategy for Talking when Stakes are High

Start with the heart What do you want? What do you REALLY WANT?

• For yourself

• For others

• For the relationship

Learn to LookLook for when a conversation

becomes crucial.Look for safety problemsLook for our own “style under

stress.” (Know thy self)

Make it Safe

Apologize when needed or appropriate.

Clarify misunderstandings. (I don’t want…)

Check for mutual understanding (Bon Appétit).

Find mutual purpose.

Master My Stories

Separate fact from story.Tell the rest of the story.

State My Path

Share your factsTell your storyAsk other’s for their storyEncourage testing…what if…

Explore Other’s Point of View

AskListenListen with the heartSummarize

Move to action

Decide how you will decide. Document decision and follow up.

Even with your family. Take notes. Check in. “We agreed on…”

Today’s LearningsToday’s Learnings

What is the most important thing you learned today?

What is one thing you will be able to use tomorrow?

ReferencesReferencesPatterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2002). Crucial conversations: tools for talking when stakes are high. New York: McGraw Hill.

Rosenberg, M. B. (2003). Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Center for Nonviolent Communication: cnvc.org

All Clips downloaded from Youtube 11/2012