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AEE Episode 718: The Best Way to Give a Top-Notch Compliment at Work in English.

Announcer: This is an All Ears English podcast Episode 718: “The Best Way to Give a Top-Notch Compliment at Work in English.”

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Announcer: Welcome to the All Ears English Podcast, downloaded more than 34 million times. We believe in Connection NOT Perfection ™, with your American hosts Lindsay McMahon, the ‘English Adventurer’, and Michelle Kaplan, the ‘New York Radio Girl,’ coming to you from Boston and New York City, U.S.A.

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Announcer: And to instantly download your transcript from today’s episode, go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts, AllEarsEnglish.com/transcripts.

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Announcer: You want to compliment your colleagues at work once in a while, not sure what vocabulary words or grammar structures to use? Find out how to give the most interesting compliments in the office today.

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Lindsay: Hey (hi), Michelle, how's it going?

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Michelle: Hey (hi), Lindsay, it's going pretty good, pretty good. How about you?

Lindsay: I'm feeling okay. I think we're supposed to get a snowstorm tomorrow, which actually, we're recording this almost a month before it's coming out, which we're a month ahead in recording.

Michelle: Wow.

Lindsay: [laughter] We're recording this on Monday, March 13th, middle of March, and we're supposed to get a big snowstorm tomorrow. Which to me is crazy, because I'm so done with the winter. How about you?

Michelle: I'm done because we've had so many really, like, beautiful days and you just feel, "Ohh, it's spring now." But it's not.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). It's such a tease, you know? March is like the month...

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes).

Lindsay: ...but it's such a tease because you feel those nice days. Then, all of the sudden, a big snowstorm dumps, like, twelve feet of snow on you, and you're kind of setback for a good couple weeks before it melts again, and maybe it snows again. It's just crazy. [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Right, right. Ohh, gosh.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes).

Michelle: Well, good luck. Yeah (yes), I'm getting it, too, so.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), good luck in the snowstorm, Michelle. Good luck. [laughter]

Michelle: Thanks. [laughter]

Lindsay: So, Michelle, do you like to give compliments to people? Like, do you tend to kind of give out compliments a lot and easily?

Michelle: I think a normal amount. [laughter]


Michelle: I think, I don't know...

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Michelle: Because I don't want to give just, like, fake, like, I want to give genuine compliments. Right?

Lindsay: Exactly. Me, too. That's how I feel. I'm not going to say anything if I don't feel like it comes up naturally in my head and spontaneously, because I don't want to sound like I'm forcing some kind of relationship with someone. You know?

Michelle: Right, right, right, right, exactly.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). So, we're talking about compliments here. And, specifically today, we're talking about kind of in the work space how to give compliments, because we know that a lot of you guys are using English at work. But first, we did an episode, Episode 403, on how to accept a compliment, which is equally important, how to give them out and how to accept them. Okay?

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: So, Michelle, we got a question from Kay again, and we had a question from Kay last week.

Michelle: Yay.

Lindsay: She sent in a bunch of questions. So, we appreciate that, and what is Kay's question, Michelle?

Michelle: Alright, alright, here we go. It says, "I am Kay and I have lived in New York City for two years."

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: So, it says, "Another question from last week, level of compliments." So, Kay says, "I know there is a difference between 'good' and 'great', but is there some degree of difference between 'excellent' and 'top-notch'?" Ooh. "Which one is better, is a better or higher compliment? How about 'amazing', 'fantastic', 'brilliant'? Is it just personal preference or do native speakers actually differentiate them?"

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Lindsay: Ooh, very nice.

Michelle: Kay is just awesome with the questions!

Lindsay: Great questions. We love these questions. They're super targeted, they're based on your actual experience out in the world.

Michelle: Yeah (yes).

Lindsay: You live in New York City, so that's... I mean, not all of our listeners live in New York City, and that's fine, guys, but you want to base your questions on, you know, I don't know, things you've seen online or in the movies or real questions. Right? Not just from textbooks. Okay? Good. So, the first thing we want to think about is context. I mean, what kinds of compliments are we talking about today? What kind of environment are we in? Today we're going to say we're in the workplace, and we're in a small group meeting and we're giving our colleagues feedback on their work. Okay? That's going to be the context for today. So, how can we answer Kay’s question between "excellent" and "top-notch"? Like, what is the difference?

Michelle: Well, I mean, these things, it's, yeah (yes), it's about, you know, the context and between "excellent" and "top-notch." I mean, I think they're both great. I don't think that's, like, a hierarchy, but I would say top-notch is, like, more interesting sounding. Right, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I think so. I mean, when it comes, if you're taking the IELTS exam, just a side point, the way that your score is judged in terms of vocabulary is if you use the more interesting vocabulary. If you don't use the same vocabulary every other candidate is using, and we can guarantee you, probably every other candidate is using "excellent", not "top-notch". Okay?

Michelle: Right, right.

Lindsay: So, that's right to set yourself apart. Not just in the exam, but in the world. Okay?

Michelle: Right. It's like "top notch" is used a little bit less frequently. So, I think it kind of sounds a little bit cooler. I don't know. [laughter]

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Lindsay: I mean, it's more interesting. It's just more interesting, you know?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). And we want to encourage you, guys. I mean, that's why we're on here four days a week on this podcast, giving you guys interesting ways, interesting vocabulary, interesting things to say in a conversation to build that connection. Okay? So, again, I agree with what Michelle said. It's not that one is better, or better than the other, it's just that "top-notch" is more fun, it's more interesting. Just try it. You know, you'll sound different from your other colleagues who are learning English.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), that's for sure.


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Lindsay: So, what are we going to do today, Michelle? I mean, we're going to throw out a bunch of phrases, or a bunch of ways to compliment someone at work. Right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), absolutely. So yeah (yes), this could be all used, and we'll talk about them, and I we'll give you guys some practice.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), so let's do it. And we're also going to give you some structures, too. So, it's not just about the vocabulary. It's about how to structure your sentence using the vocabulary, okay?

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: So, let's run through them real quick. Michelle, what are the first two? We've already talked about them. [laughter]

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Michelle: Right, exactly. So, we have "excellent" and "top-notch", which we have discussed.

Lindsay: Okay. And then we have "amazing". Now, in my opinion, this one is a little bit overused.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I could see that. I mean, if you say everything is amazing, I don't know. I think "excellent" could be maybe overused. I know you say "excellent" a lot. So, I probably say both of these too often. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I know. I think "excellent" could also... "Excellent" and "amazing", I mean we're putting them down as recommendations, because they are what natives say.


Lindsay: But then we're making an asterisk and a comment here, and we're saying that they're a little bit, they're a little overdone, and they start to lose their meaning when we use them too often.

Michelle: Right, right, right, right, right.

Lindsay: So, we're recommending that you try something else, you know? To not be kind of average. [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter]

Lindsay: What would be something else we could try?

Michelle: "Fantastic" or "brilliant".

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). I think "brilliant" is in some ways more common in British English. I hear that more...

Michelle: Yes. Ohh, yeah (yes).


Michelle: Again, I said how we talked about Hugh Grant some time in the past couple weeks. Like, this makes me think of Hugh Grant, "brilliant".

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Lindsay: Yeah (yes), this is definitely, again, we don't, we're not going to try to teach British English. We're just going to make a note that this is more commonly used in British English, and ask your British English teachers how to use it. Okay? [laughter]


Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: "Fantastic" would be good for, you know, a conversation in, I guess, American English.


Michelle: Yeah (yes). Or maybe also British, I don't know.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I agree. And then, I would recommend this next thing, is to get more specific in how, what kind of compliment you're making, because people appreciate that more. Right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: So, saying something like, "Ohh that presentation was informative,” or “It was well done,” “It was thorough."

Michelle: Mmm.

Lindsay: What else? It was thorough, it was...

Michelle: Well prepared, right? These are, like, a little bit more targeted to the content.


Michelle: And how much work somebody put into something, so that's kind of nice.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Like, when you just say, "That was excellent, that was amazing, that was top-notch", it's kind of general.

Michelle: Right.

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Lindsay: And it's not very specific. It's almost like you could have just been asleep for half the presentation then you could have woken up. [laughter]

Michelle: "It's excellent!"

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), right? "Ohh, that was amazing!" It just doesn't mean much. But if we get more specific, and we talk about how well they were prepared, or how informative it was, that means that you listened to the presentation. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm, yes.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). And now let's talk about how do we actually use these phrases, right? We can't just say the word, we have to put it in a sentence. So, let's give you guys three good solid structures that you can repeat with a lot of these different adjectives.

Michelle: Okay, alright. So, the first one is, "What a _____ presentation that was", or "that you gave." Right? So, for example, "What a top-notch", or "What a fantastic presentation that was."

Lindsay: Exactly. "What an informative presentation you gave." Okay? So, I think this is an uncommon structure that you I should start using because it's, you know, it's... I mean, it's uncommon for English learners, but it's somewhat common for native speakers. "What an awesome presentation that was." We didn't teach "awesome", but you know "awesome". Right? Good way to present a compliment.


Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Okay? How about the next one, Michelle?

Michelle: The next one is, "I thought your proposal was _____." So, "well done", "very thorough", "well prepared", "amazing", "brilliant". Right? So, "I thought your _____ was."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), "I thought your proposal was, I thought your presentation was, I thought your speech was".


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Lindsay: And then we add in whatever adjective we want to use there.

Michelle: Exactly.

Lindsay: So, that's number two. I like that one, too. I think that one is kind of humble. It's kind of down-to-earth, you know? When you talk to someone and you say that, "Ohh, I thought your presentation was excellent today." Okay? Very humble.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), for sure.

Lindsay: Kind of, nothing fancy, but kind of nice to say to someone.




Lindsay: What's the last one, Michelle?

Michelle: The last one is, so this one isn't using the vocabulary words, but is a good structure.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: So, "I was so impressed by _____."

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: So, "I was so impressed by your comment at the meeting.", or, "I was so impressed by your leadership skills." Right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). What do you think about that?

Michelle: I like that one, and before I even saw that, you know, you added this one in. I was thinking about it. So, I agree that this one is very useful.

Lindsay: Okay. So, these are, all three of these are quite different.


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Lindsay: But they're all good ways, good, different ways to give that compliment, okay? And then again, if you're wondering what to say when someone gives you a compliment, go to Episode 403 that we just talked about. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: So, Michelle, we have a roleplay, right? So, here we are A and B, we're colleagues at work and A, person A, just gave a presentation to the entire company. Okay?

Michelle: Okay.

Lindsay: So, are you ready? Would you like to be A?

Michelle: I would. [laughter]

Lindsay: Okay. [laughter]

Michelle: Here we go. "I'm exhausted. I'm so glad that's over."

Lindsay: "Michelle, I have to tell you I was so impressed by your presentation skills and the way you grabbed the group's attention today."

Michelle: "Thanks, Lindsay. I worked hard to prepare by learning the information to make sure I could focus on pulling them in."

Lindsay: "Well, your preparation paid off. What a top-notch presentation. Seriously."

Michelle: "Ohh, well, thanks."

Lindsay: "Hey, I have a presentation coming up in a few weeks. Would you give me lessons on how to present?"

Michelle: "Ohh, I'm sure you'll be fantastic without my help, but sure."

Lindsay: Okay. [laughter]


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Lindsay: Good, good, okay. What did we do here? So, first we started off, and I said, "I was so impressed by." This is using that third structure that we taught you guys. Right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: "I was so impressed by your presentation skills and the way you grabbed the group's attention." Grab someone's attention, I like that.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). And then you said, "What a top-notch presentation. Seriously." I like that.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), like, really emphasizing it. Like, you really, really mean it. Right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), that just gave me an idea; we could do an episode on things to say at the very end of your comment, when you want to reemphasize.

Michelle: Ooh!

Lindsay: Like, "no joke". Right?

Michelle: Write that down, write that down.

Lindsay: [laughter] Okay. I'm writing it down right now. [laughter] Alright, what's the next one we did, Michelle?

Michelle: [laughter] The next one is, "I'm sure you'll be fantastic without my help."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I love that. And, actually, that one wasn't even in the structures, but we just threw it in. [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Why not?

Lindsay: The vocabulary word was in there, right? "Fantastic", yeah. Okay. So, guys, again, you can plug in, as they say, you know, plug these in and play around with them and just figure it out. You know? Just to experiment. You got to try new things to be able to get fluent in English. Okay? And to connect with your colleagues. Alright? Michelle, any final piece of advice for our listeners?

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Michelle: Yeah (yes). I mean, if you want to give someone a compliment because you feel they deserve it, don't be shy. Just, like, you know, don't be afraid to make a mistake, just go for the compliment. And if you're genuine, you know, people are going to appreciate that.

Lindsay: You got it. I agree completely. [laughter]


Lindsay: Very cool. So, guys, go and grab the transcript if you want to see, you know, you want to see today's episode in a transcript. You want to go to AllEarsEnglish.com/transcript and choose the correct week. But if you want to subscribe to future transcripts, get them in your inbox by email every Monday morning, for future transcripts go to AllEarsEnglish.com/subscribe and you will save fifty percent on the price, which is a pretty cool offer there. Okay? Alright. Cool, Michelle, this has been a good, very useful, nice business episode today, and I'll talk to you soon.

Michelle: Alright, bye, guys.

Lindsay: Take care, bye.

Michelle: Bye.

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AEE Episode 719: How to Respond When a Colleague Rejects Your Invitation in English?

Announcer: This is an All Ears English podcast Episode 719: “How to Respond When a Colleague Rejects Your Invitation in English?”

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Announcer: Today a listener asks us how you should respond when you invite someone out and they say no? The thing you say next will help you get more information on whether you should invite them out again. Find out more today.

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Lindsay: Hey (hi) Michelle, so, hey, I'm going to be in New York at the end of the month for a conference. Can we get together for a coffee on the 25th at noon?

Michelle: Ooh, Lindsay, I don't think I'm a good that weekend.

Lindsay: Ohh, okay. No problem. We'll do it another time. [laughter]

Michelle: Ohh, that's too bad.

Lindsay: Ohh, you turned me down. [laughter]

Michelle: Ouch.

Lindsay: Michelle, geez. Okay, well, today, guys, what are we talking about, Michelle? What are we going to go into today? I mean, sometimes we want to extend an invitation to someone and what happens?

Michelle: They say no.

Lindsay: They say no, and the question is, what do we say next? Right?

Michelle: "How could you?" No, I'm just joking. Yeah (yes), you got to be graceful about it, right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), you got to be graceful. And it's also not just to be graceful, also to learn something about the person and whether they... Like, what are their ideas about hanging out with you in the future. Right? So, it's actually a very useful step here in English that we need to know how to do.


Lindsay: Michelle, in your in your social life, or professional life, like, how do you usually handle the situations?

Michelle: If somebody says that they can't do something?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Like, what would you normally say?

Michelle: I'd probably say like, "Ohhh, that's too bad. Alright, next time."

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Lindsay: Yeah (yes), something like that. Right. "Next time" is a very common thing to say, right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm, mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), exactly. And I like this phrase, "to stick your neck out". What does that mean?

Michelle: Ohh, that means, like, that you kind of, put yourself... Well, I'm about to use another phrase, but put yourself out there.

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: In a way, when you ask someone to hang out with you, you're, like, kind of vulnerable; it depends on your relationship.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), that's right, that's right.


Lindsay: Yup (yes). That's true. Well, especially in the dating world, right? That's especially true. Ohh my gosh, big time. But, you know, but, in general, you are, you're sticking your neck out. The phrase "to stick your neck out” means to kind of take a chance. Okay?

Michelle: Another thing with stick, right? We did an episode about "stick" last week.

Lindsay: Ohh, we did. Yeah (yes), we didn't come up with that one, did we? But there are so many more we could do with "stick".

Michelle: Ohh, yeah (yes).

Lindsay: And we'll do it another day, we'll come back to it, I'm sure. And guys, yeah (yes), the cool thing is, we're doing a lot of episodes on this. yYou know, how to bring the work space into the social space. Like, how to invite your colleagues out to work. We did that episode, that was episode 701. So, you're going to want to review that one first, and then come back to this one. Okay? So, go to AllEarsEnglish.com, type in 701. And this is actually a question from a listener. So, let's see. Michelle, would you read the question? It's quite short, actually, and basic, but that's okay. Straight to the point. [laughter]

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Michelle: Wait, where is the listener email...?

Lindsay: So, Eve, Eve is the listener here and she says... Well, I'll just read it. It's okay, it's very short.

Michelle: I can't see it for some reason.

Lindsay: Ohh, maybe it didn't copy into the email. That's okay. So, it says, "What to say when you invite someone..."

Michelle: Ohh, I see it. Sorry, go ahead.

Lindsay: So, Eve just asked us the question? Right? So, exactly what we're answering. He said, or she rather, said, "What should I say when I invite someone out who's a colleague, and they turn me down?"


Lindsay: Okay, that's just the question. Alright? So, Michelle, what would you say first here?

Michelle: Well, it really depends on the relationship, right? So, it's, like, I mean, a romantic interest, or a colleague, like Eve said or, I mean, who knows? It could be both.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. So, you know, it's going to be different depending on who is actually asking you to hang out, but today we're going to assume that it's a colleague. Okay? We can do a different episode on a romantic interest or a friend, you know.

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: We can go into all these niche topics later. And but if you want one of those situations, guys, you should write a comment in the blog post for this episode, and tell us what you want. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: So, there's (are) two reasons to say something when they turn you down, right? What are the two reasons for that, Michelle?

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Michelle: Of trying to say something when somebody turns you down?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Instead of just walking away.


Lindsay: Or kind of saying nothing. I mean...

Michelle: I mean, you don't want to just, I mean, we are trying to maintain the connection, right?


Michelle: So, you know, sometimes you're just, like, putting out feelers to figure out if they actually want to go out, but they're just really busy, or if they don't want to hang out and they're just making an excuse. Right? And so, like, basically, it's you're going to be able to tell based on how they react to whatever comment you make. Right?

Lindsay: Exactly. So, that's why we say those are really the two reasons for, like, being strategic here, guys, about your comment. Number one is maintaining the connection; number two is putting out feelers to see what they want to do. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: So, I think this applies a little bit more in the dating world, because you definitely want to know, like, what are someone's ideas on going out with you? Okay? So, that's where it would be even more important, but, you know, we're talking about connection here. So, it's okay. Okay?

Michelle: For sure.

Lindsay: So, what are some things that we can say then, Michelle? When someone turns us down.

Michelle: Well, first, I mean, really, you could just say, "Ohh, that's okay. Maybe we can do it another time", or "Maybe we can do it some other time."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. And, so, if they really want to hang out, they might suggest another time right there.

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Lindsay: Okay? And this is something to look out for more in the dating world, right? But what should we be aware of?

Michelle: Well, if you hear the word "some time" without anything specific, right? Like, "Ohh yeah (yes), maybe some time." That's not a great sign. "Maybe some time." Ooh, ouch.

Lindsay: Ouch, ouch. Especially in American culture. We talked a few weeks ago about, you know, is the invitation real. That's an episode we did a long time ago. You can come back to AllEarsEnglish.com, type in "is the invitation real." But when you're talking to American people, often they're not going to say to your face, "No, I don't want to spend any time with you."


Lindsay: Or, "No, I don't want to. Sorry." They're going to just go around, they're going to be very general, and something they might use is, "Yeah (yes), maybe some time."

Michelle: I remember there was an episode of Friends, who knows, maybe I spoke about this one here.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I do, actually.

Michelle: Well, it was one of the early ones, and they were, like, I think I did say this once, but it just cracks me up. The group is, like, I think Ross is moving and he says to Phoebe, "Oh, are you going to help, come over and help me move tonight?" And she goes, "Oh, I wish I could but I don't want to."

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: And, like, it's just so funny because, the reason it is funny, it's just, like, so direct. Right? Like, nobody would actually say that, but she's just actually just saying the exact reason. Like, "Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to."

Lindsay: I love that because it is really kind of, right there. It kind of defines what comedy is, what good comedy is. It's voicing what we all are thinking, but we're too afraid to say. Like, that is comedy right there, right? [laughter]

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Michelle: Right. So, we won't get to actually say that. I don't know anyone who would actually say that. Who knows, but...

Lindsay: Exactly, exactly. Right. Most people would say, "I wish I could, but I have to, you know, I have to study or have to do this, or have to do that."


Lindsay: I love Friends, Phoebe is my favorite character. Love her. She's hilarious.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), she's hilarious. [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter] Good.

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Lindsay: So, that's the big thing there. Watch out for, "Yeah (yes), maybe sometime." Or, "Yeah (yes), maybe." That's even worse. [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Ooh. [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter] Maybe. I mean, "maybe" is basically a “no,” I think. [laughter]


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Lindsay: In many ways. Depends on the relationship, but okay. Let's move on to number two. What's another thing you could say if the person says they can't hang out with you when you ask them to?

Michelle: You can just say, "No problem, I just thought I'd throw it out there. Hopefully at some point we can make that happen."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Now that sounds a little bit more, like, assertive and more work-like. Little more professional to me.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I agree. I think if I heard this socially, I would think it was, like, a little weird.

Lindsay: A little bit like trying a little too hard. Would you agree?

Michelle: Yes. Very much so.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly.


Lindsay: Such subtleties in the language, it's incredible.

Michelle: Yeah (yes)!

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), isn't that interesting? Like... Although, I do have a friend, well, it's not exactly a great friend anymore because sometimes she's a little too assertive in the friendship world. Like, she would take phrases that were more relative to the work world, and she would come to use them in the friendship world. It's kind of strange. So, she would say something like that. "Hopefully, at some point we could make that happen", I mean it's fine, but it's a little bit weird. Right?


Lindsay: A little bit weird.


Lindsay: So, the last one we could say is, "Okay, well, good luck with..." you know, the thing they have to do. Like, "Good luck with your class” or “Good luck

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with studying", or “Good luck” with whatever it is. "I'll see you in the office,” or “I'll talk to you at work."

Michelle: Perfect.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). And that was kind of good because, like, once you've invited someone out, one approach that you could do is you could hang back and wait for them to invite you out next time. Just let it go completely, and then if they invite you to do something, then you know that they're reciprocating, that they want to hang out. Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Right, right, right.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. Okay. So, let's do a roleplay, Michelle. We'll try out some of these.

Michelle: Okay. Here we go. Alright. So, here we are, we're two colleagues. [laughter]

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), cool.

Michelle: [laughter] Okay. Here we go. Okay. "Hey, Lindsay, we've been working hard this week. How about we grab a drink after work on Friday?"

Lindsay: "Oh, Michelle, I'd like to but I have early dinner plans."

Michelle: "That's okay. I just thought I'd throw that out there, and maybe we can do it some other time."

Lindsay: "Oh, speaking of that, are you free this coming Wednesday after work? We could swing by that new cocktail bar near work?"

Michelle: "Yeah (yes), that sounds great. Let's plan on it."

Lindsay: "Okay, cool." Okay. So, actually, in this roleplay, guys, we forgot to tell you, we're going to do two endings.

Michelle: Two. Two for one!

Lindsay: Two for one. You get a two for one discount. [laughter]


23


Lindsay: We're going to do ending one, where the person actually does want to hang out, so the person has a counteroffer. Right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: The person, like, I suggested another time, and that's a great sign. Right? But then we're going to also do ending two, where I'm going to react differently. Okay? So, let's try it again.

Michelle: Okay, here we go. "Hey, Lindsay, we've been working hard this week. How about we grab a drink after work on Friday?"

Lindsay: "Oh, Michelle, I'd like to, but I have early dinner plans."

Michelle: "Ohh, that's okay, I just thought I'd throw that out there. Maybe we can do it some other time."

Lindsay: "Yeah (yes), maybe some time." [laughter]

Michelle: Ooh, ooh, ooh! You aren't even trying to hide it!

Lindsay: I gave you the "Yeah (yes), maybe some time".

Michelle: Yeah (yes), and, like the “E!,” like the “Oh!”

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Burn! That was painful!

Lindsay: Oh, don't take it personally, it's alright.

Michelle: So sad.

Lindsay: So, what we taught today, we can see it in this roleplay, right? So, again, as we talked about, guys, you should try to say something so you can get a response from the other person, so you can feel out what they want. And, in this case, the first situation, I gave a counteroffer, I gave another suggestion. Okay?

Michelle: Yes.

Lindsay: And in the second one, what happened, Michelle?

24


Michelle: [laughter] You just said, "Yeah (yes), maybe some time." I mean, sometimes, I mean, it may not be that obvious, like, with their intonation, because they may be trying to hide it. Like, maybe they'd say like, "Yeah (yes)! Maybe some time!"

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I think I was a little too obvious. Yeah (yes), exactly.

Michelle: [laughter] No, but, I mean, it could happen like that.

Lindsay: Could happen.

Michelle: It could happen either way, but yeah (yes). If somebody says, "Yeah (yes), maybe some time." That's still bad.

Lindsay: Exactly. So, don't be fooled. I mean, we talk about it a lot on the show that intonation is so important, but that's the thing here. Don't be fooled [laughter] by the intonation.


Lindsay: In this case, it's really the words they're using. Right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes). And that's so sad, because, you know, I don't want people to think that, like, I don't know. This makes me think of, I've heard people say it, like, that they think Americans are, like, a little fake.

Lindsay: Fake? Yeah (yes), yeah (yes).


Lindsay: I heard that, too.

Michelle: And so that, I guess, in that way, when we say that, like, that part, I could understand why someone would say that when we're talking about this topic. Right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Actually, I wonder if we've done an episode on this. You know, are Americans fake? We could do that, that's a big topic and I struggle with that, too. Because in some ways, in some, like, very superficial ways we are, like this example. But in other ways we're not.

25


Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: I mean, cultures are all different. Right?

Michelle: Exactly.


Michelle: Just when we did this exact thing, it just made me think about, you know, when people say that and, like, and that in a certain way, I guess, is true. But, it's also this idea of just wanting to be polite. So anyway, but we'll get to it another time.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), and I'm not sure that there is an answer.

Michelle: No.

Lindsay: Because the problem is, like, when people ask that question, “Are Americans fake?”, we're always going to be interpreting it through our own cultural lens. So, if you're someone in Russia who's saying, “Are Americans fake?”, you might be saying “Yes” because you are talking through your cultural lens, your cultural way of seeing the world. Right? You're not talking objectively. Like, we're never objective, no one is objective. [laughter]


Lindsay: Okay. So, that's the interesting part. I mean, that's a fascinating topic, Michelle. I'm glad you brought it up, actually.


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), really interesting. Okay.

Michelle: Okay.

Lindsay: What do we want to remember today, Michelle?

Michelle: Well, you know, don't be afraid to invite your colleagues out. So review, we said, Episode 701. Learn those phrases, learn these ones, and then just go make some plans.

26


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. And don't be afraid. It is important to respond to, if it's a so-called rejection, right? Respond to that to put out feelers, to figure out if you should try inviting the person out again. Right? You want to know where you stand, right?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Or again, as we showed you in this two weeks ago, you could always just wait for them to invite you out once you've invited them out. It should be reciprocal, so they should invite you out. Okay?


Lindsay: So, you can take your pick, but good episode, good social skills, social work skills episode, and yeah (yes), comes down to connection, right? It's important to build that connection, yes.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), for sure, for sure. Awesome. Well, this is great.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), very good, guys. Go to AllEarsEnglish.com/subscribe, get fifty percent off your transcripts if you want them. Very cool. Okay, Michelle, this has been fun. I'll see you soon. [laughter]

Michelle: Alright, see you! Bye!

Lindsay: Take care, bye!

[Instrumental]







27


AEE Episode 720: This Episode Will Be Music to Your Ears Because You'll Learn How to Add Color to Your Language

Announcer: This is an All Ears English podcast Episode 720: "This Episode Will Be Music

to Your Ears Because You'll Learn How to Add Color to Your Language."

[Instrumental]


[Instrumental]



[Instrumental]

Announcer: Don't just use the boring phrases that you learn in your textbooks. Today

let's dress up your language and make it musical. Get five phrases that are

related to music that you can use in daily conversations.

[Instrumental]

28


Announcer: The old way of learning, by sitting in classrooms at an overpriced English

school, is out the window. What's in? Booking a quick lesson with a native

tutor online when it's convenient for you. What else is out? Boring

textbooks where everyone studies the same thing. But what's in?

Personalized lessons that are designed based on your needs. You can get

all of this at italki, guys, where you have hundreds of native teachers to

choose from. But to get our special deal, buy one lesson and get a $10

credit for your next one. Go to AllEarsEnglish.com/ITALKI. One more time,

you need to register at AllEarsEnglish.com/ITALKI.

[Instrumental]

Michelle: Hey (hi), Lindsay. How you doing?

Lindsay: What's going on, Michelle? I'm feeling pretty good here today.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Me, too. I'm excited to record. I'm excited to do

an episode.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Me, too. [laughter]


Lindsay: Me, too. I love recording. I love it. It's fun.

Michelle: Me, too.

Lindsay: It's fun, yeah (yes).

Michelle: Me, too. Me, too. Umm. But I have a question for you today, Lindsay.

Lindsay: Okay, I am ready for your question. What is it?

Michelle: Okay. Are you a big music fan?

Lindsay: Ohh. Totally. I love Creedence Clearwater Revival, CCR.

Michelle: Ohh, really?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). [laughter]

Michelle: Cool, that's cool. Umm.

29


Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: But, so, in general, like, you like to go to, uhh, like, concerts or what do

you like to do?

Lindsay: Well, actually, I went to my... Like, I have been to, like, two concerts in my

life, and my second one was this past summer. I went to the Lumineers.

Michelle: Ohh, I feel like I remember you saying that. Did you like it?

Lindsay: I loved it. It was such a cool venue. Like, right on the water in Boston. And

it was just awesome. Like, it was... It was great because their music is

great in concert.

Michelle: That's cool. That's music to my ears, Lindsay, because I love music, too.

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: I'm actually... [laughter] I'm actually, umm... I'm going to see Bruno

Mars...

Lindsay: Ohh.

Michelle: At the end of the summer. Like, not for a long time. Uhh. We bought the

tickets, like, really far in advance, because I love, umm, his performing

style. I just think he's so entertaining, and I love his voice. And so, I'm so

excited to see him live.

Lindsay: That's cool. Yeah (yes), he's a little guy, right? Quite short.

Michelle: I think... [laughter] I think he is, yeah (yes). I think he is. I just think he's

so talented.

Lindsay: Ohh, absolutely.

Michelle: So, I'm excited.

Lindsay: Ohh, that'll be cool. That'll be cool. Are you seeing him in New York or

somewhere else?

30


Michelle: Umm. I'm actually... The day in New York doesn't work out, so I'm going

to see him in New Jersey.

Lindsay: Cool. I love that, I love that.


Lindsay: Awesome. You have to let us know how it is. [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). It's, like, not until September, but I'm... I'm already

counting down the days. [laughter]

Lindsay: It's far way off. [laughter] Okay, cool.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). A little bit.

Lindsay: Cool.

Michelle: Well, so Lindsay, maybe... Maybe our listeners could've guessed it, but

this episode is about music.

Lindsay: Absolutely. And I... I'm not surprised that this music... This episode is

about music, because you prepared this episode, and you love music and

performing. So, that's perfect. I love that. Okay.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), exactly. Yeah (yes). So, I was thinking about how music, just,

like, the idea of music, works its way into the English language. Because...

I don't know, it's just in so many different places and so many different

phrases. And I'd be curious, umm, from our listeners, like, do you have

similar types of idioms and phrases that use music? I think it's kind of a

reflection of, umm, you know, culture, actually.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), definitely is. It definitely is. I love that.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Yeah (yes).

Lindsay: And the music in this country is so diverse, yeah (yes). There's so much.

It's incredible. Blues and jazz, and gosh. Awesome.

Michelle: I bet you, on your trip across the country, I bet you saw some music. You

listened to music.

31


Lindsay: I did. I saw a little bit of music in, umm, in Nashville. And that was

awesome. So, yes. Definitely here and there I listened to some good

music. [laughter]

Michelle: Good, good. Yeah (yes). So, as we were saying, it can, you know, the idea

of music works its way into English language a lot. Like, through phrases

and idioms. And there are so... so many. But today, we're teaching you

five extremely natural and native ones. Right, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), let's do it. So, what are they? Should we go into them?

Michelle: Okay. Yeah (yes), exactly. So, they're all very conversational, but let me

know if you agree, Lindsay. I mean, maybe you think that some of them

wouldn't be used. I don't know. Let me know. So, what's the first one?

Lindsay: Ohh.

Michelle: We...

Lindsay: Okay, the first one...

Michelle: We already used it today.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), you used it in the beginning. And so, you said, "That's music to

my ears." You know, something nice to hear. For example, "When I hear

my nephew laugh, it's music to my ears." Yeah (yes).


Lindsay: I think this is an important one to know. I don't know if I...


Lindsay: I don't think I use it that much any... Well, I don't think I personally use it

much.


Lindsay: But I think our listeners need to know it, because it's definitely in the

culture. You know?

32


Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Exactly. I... I kind of agree with you. I feel like I

would say it every once in a while. It might come up, like, in that example.

I mean, "My nephew’s laugh..." "My nephew’s..." "Both of my nephews

and nieces, their laughs are music to my ears." Right?


Michelle: But, umm, I may not say it that often, but you will hear it. And it's...

That's... We've talked about that. How some of them are good to know,

but you may not say it. And it's important to differentiate between those

two kinds of idioms.

Lindsay: Exactly. Exactly. I agree. So, good one to know. Umm. Yeah (yes), maybe

our listeners will start hearing this one now that they know.

Michelle: That's always how it works, isn't it?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it is. [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter] Okay, Lindsay. What's the next one?

Lindsay: Okay. The next one is 'face the music'.

Michelle: Ohh. 'Face the music.'

Lindsay: So... Yeah (yes), to accept something that, you know, you've maybe been

avoiding, or something kind of bad... Like, it has a bad connotation, right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), I think so.

Lindsay: I really... Yeah (yes). "I really don't want to do this project," for example.

"Ohh, well. It's time to face the music and get started."

Michelle: Yeah (yes), right. It kind of reminds me of that one like, "Wake up and

smell the coffee."


Michelle: [laughter] It's all... It's similar in that way.

33


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), that's true. 'Face the music.' or, yeah (yes), just do what you

need to do, just accept reality.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). You have to accept it.

[Instrumental]

Announcer: Guys, recently I've heard from a lot of All Ears English listeners who say

that they've heard our show, they've heard us recommend italki, and

they've gone over and they've taken what they've learned on this podcast

and practiced it with the native teachers. That is exactly what you need to

do to move to that next level of connection, which is what we believe in

here at All Ears English. So, guys, to do it, you can also get a special deal

that's only available to you guys, listeners of All Ears English. Go to

AllEarsEnglish.com/ITALKI. The special deal is that when you buy your first

lesson, you get $10 in lesson credits to go towards your next one. One

more time, you need to register at AllEarsEnglish.com/ITALKI. And I hope

that you go over and find your native teacher to bring what you learned

today to life. Thanks, guys, and enjoy your lessons.

[Instrumental]

Michelle: Alright. And the next one is 'ring a bell'.

Lindsay: Mm. So, it's something that sounds familiar, right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Like, "His name doesn't ring a bell."

Lindsay: Right, right. I don't recognize it.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). I don't recognize it, right?

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: And what's the next one? I love this one.

Lindsay: Well, this one is 'to play it by ear'. Yeah (yes).


34


Lindsay: I remember explaining this to my students in New York and they love this

expression. [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes). I love it, too. It... It... It's po... We may have done this one

before, but...

Lindsay: Probably.

Michelle: Uhh. Well, I... I'm not sure, but we'll review it again. So, what is 'play it by

ear', Lindsay?

Lindsay: Well, so, it means basically to do something spontaneously without a plan.

Just to go step by step and not plan everything in advance, right? "Where

should we go for dinner?" "Ohh, I don't know. Let's play it by ear." Right?

Depends on where we are in the city or what we're doing at that time.

Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Mhh hhm. Right, exactly. We... And what does 'play

something by ear' mean in Lin... In music, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I... I don't remember. I think...

Michelle: Do you know?

Lindsay: We looked this up before. I think it me... Well, do you know? Because I

think you...


Lindsay: Know that better than I do.

Michelle: I mean, it... That means, like, you play it... Like, for example, uhh, my

brother... Huh. plays... I play piano, and so does my brother, but my

brother can play music by ear, which means he can just hear it...

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: And he can play it. It's... I'm so jealous of him...

Lindsay: Wow.

35


Michelle: For being able to do that. Umm. You know, whereas I... I need music. I

need to read the music. He... He doesn't even nee... He... He can read

music, but he can also just hear it and replicate it.

Lindsay: That's amazing, that's amazing. Is that a natural skill that he has, or did he

take lessons to do that?

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Yeah (yes), it's just, like, one of those amazing gifts that you're

born with that... I don't know, for him. I don't know about other people.

But...

Lindsay: Wow.

Michelle: Umm.

Lindsay: That's cool.

Michelle: I think that's so cool. Like, I'm so jealous. It's, like, the best. It's such a...

It's so good at parties. He's always, you know... [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter] That's cool.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). I know, I know. So, that's, like, 'to play some...' To... To... If

you just say, "Ohh, can you..." "Can you play by ear?" you would say,

"Play..." "Play by ear." But 'to play it by ear' and, you know, talking about

just, like, making plans is to do... Be spontaneous. So, and it's very s...

Yeah (yes), similar ideas.

Lindsay: Exactly. Love that, love that. Wow.

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Okay. Cool. Alright.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). And then, umm, I think we have one more, right, Lindsay?

Don't want to do too... Too many today.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). So, the next one is just 'to toot someone's own horn', or if you

toot your own horn. That means to brag. Basically, you know, saying

something like, "Ohh, that guy loves tooting his own horn. He's so self-

involved." Right? Or...

36



Lindsay: Umm. Self-promoting or something is, umm, you're always saying

something good about yourself. You're bragging.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). It's, like, to brag. Do you hear this one, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). I've heard this one before, for sure.


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes).

Lindsay: I say something like... I've heard people say, like, starting something off,

saying s... A sentence, you say, "I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but..."

Michelle: Exactly.

Lindsay: Right? [laughter]

Michelle: Exactly.


Michelle: Exactly. I think we might be using something similar like that in a minute.

Uhh.


Michelle: But yeah (yes), ehh, I don't know. It's kind of a funny one, 'toot my own

horn'. It sounds so funny. Umm. So, yeah (yes) guys, those are... Those

are the five, I think it was five, right? One, two, three, four, five. Yeah

(yes), exactly. So, why don't we give these a try, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Okay, let's do it. Here we go.

Michelle: Okay. Alright. It's... "Hey (hi) Lindsay. I met someone I think you..." Ohh,

sorry. Let me start over. Okay. [laughter]

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: "Hey (hi) Lindsay, I met someone I think you know at a party last night."

37


Lindsay: "Ohh, wow. Really?"

Michelle: "Does the name Brad Harbor ring a bell?"

Lindsay: "Ohh, wow. Yes, of course. How's he doing?"

Michelle: "Ahh. He's great. I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think he might

be interested in me."

Lindsay: "Ohh, wow. I'm not surprised. You're just his type."

Michelle: "That's music to my ears. He's so cute. I'm too scared to Facebook friend

him, though."

Lindsay: "Ohh, come on. You have to face the music. Everyone uses social media

to get in touch nowadays. Just do it."

Michelle: "Okay, fine. Ohh, by the way, did you decide where you want to go out

tonight?"

Lindsay: "Nah (no). I figure we'll all just meet in The Village and play it by ear."

Michelle: "Sounds good."

Lindsay: Cool.

Michelle: Alright.

Lindsay: Love it, love it.

Michelle: Kind of a...

Lindsay: That was good.

Michelle: Kind of a cheesy, uhh... [laughter]

Lindsay: No, it's fine. It's cute, it's cute.

Michelle: Situation.


38


Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Exactly. Well, so, let's just go through

it. Umm. So, what's the first thing that I said?

Lindsay: Okay. So, you said, "Does the name Brad Harbor ring a bell?"

Michelle: Mhh hhm. So, that's like, "Is that familiar for you?"

Lindsay: Right.

Michelle: "Familiar to you."

Lindsay: "Do you recognize that?" Yeah (yes), exactly.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), "Do you know him?" Yeah (yes). Umm. And then, I said, "Ohh,

I don't mean to..." Right? How we talked about you could use it at the

beginning of a sentence? So, you could say, "I don't mean to toot my

horn..." or you could say, "Not to toot my own horn..." Right?

Lindsay: Right.

Michelle: So, but here, I said, "I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I think he

might be interested in me."

Lindsay: You got it. Exactly. And then, the next thing we said was, "That's music to

my ears." So...


Lindsay: You... It means you like the sound of that. It sounds beautiful, what I just

said, right?



Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes). And then, umm, I was... I'm too scared

to get in touch, and you said, "Just face the music, that's how everybody

talks nowadays." Right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), you got it. And then, the last thing was, I said, "Ohh, you know,

I figure we'll just meet in The Village and just play it by ear."

39


Michelle: Right, right. Exactly. Umm. And then, I said, "Sounds good..." which is

funny because 'sound', I don't know, I think of music. But we always say

'sounds good'...

Lindsay: Ohh. I get it, I get it.

Michelle: About stuff, right Lindsay?

Lindsay: It's a pun, it's a pun. [laughter]


Lindsay: Yes, yes. Absolutely. I love these expressions because, I mean, this is

adding color, it's adding music to your language, guys. It's adding

personality.

Michelle: Deliberately.

Lindsay: Right? And one... Yeah (yes), go ahead.

Michelle: And we have just a little bonus phrase.


Michelle: So, you said that I was just his type, just this guy Brad's type. So, what

does that mean?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). So, you were just... You're exactly the type... The kind of

person that Brad likes. Everyone... I mean, many people have, like, a

romantic type. Like, a body type, or face type, hair type, eyes. They like a

certain kind of look. Not everyone, right? Sometimes our type's across

the board. [laughter] But you're just...

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: The type of girl he likes.

Michelle: Right, right, right. Exactly. So, it was 'music on my ear', 'music to my ears'.

Although, in some ways, it could be like, "Ohh, you're just his type."

[laughter]

40


Lindsay: [laughter] It could be bad, you think? What do you think?

Michelle: I don't know. Yeah (yes), it's like, "Ohh..." I mean, I said it's a good thing,

but now, thinking about it. It's like, "Ohh, I'm just, like, one of, like, uhh, a

series of girls that he could like." You know?

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter] I don't know.

Lindsay: I don't know. We'd have to know the situation.

Michelle: Thinking too much into it.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. Exactly.

Michelle: Anyway... But yeah (yes), so guys, these are some good musical phrases

that you can use in your, uhh, English conversations, uhh, that I think

would be fun to try out. So, give them a try and let us know, you know,

any musical expressions that are in your first language.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), guys, exactly. Like, make your language sing, you know? Make

it musical. Make it... Make it fun. Like, these are fun phrases. These are

going to show a lot of personality, like I was saying before. Personality's

what makes people want to connect with you. Okay?


Lindsay: So use it.

Michelle: Exactly. Awesome. Alright. Well, thanks for hanging out today, Lindsay.

Lindsay: Alright. Thanks, Michelle. See you soon.

Michelle: Alright. Bye.

Lindsay: Bye.

[Instrumental]



41






42


AEE Episode 721: The Best Way to Talk about Your Best Friend in English

Announcer: This is an All Ears English podcast Episode 721: "The Best Way to Talk about Your Best Friend in English."

[Instrumental]


[Instrumental]



[Instrumental]

Announcer: Today get five phrases that you can use to build connection by telling

someone who you're close to, and who you like to hang out with.

[Instrumental]

Michelle: Hey (hi), Lindsay. How are you?

Lindsay: Hey (hi), Michelle. I'm doing pretty well. How about you?

43


Michelle: I am doing good, I'm doing good. Umm. You want to hear this quote that I

heard that I love?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), let's do it. Let's hear it.

Michelle: Okay. Umm. So, the quote is... It's by Elbert Hubbard.

Lindsay: Okay.

Michelle: I believe. I believe. And the quote is, uhh, "A friend is someone who

knows all about you and still loves you."

Lindsay: Aww. I think that's very true. That's very true.


Lindsay: Right? That...



Michelle: I mean, what does this quote mean to you? I don't know, I just... I think...

I find it, like, a little bit funny and a little bit sweet. What is it... What do

you feel about it?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), I think it's cute. I mean, it means that, like, when you're

around your true friends, you don't have to hide... You don't have to, like,

portray someone you're not, pretend to be someone you're not. You can

show them your faults, and they're still going to love you. Or maybe they

love you because of your faults, you know?

Michelle: Right. Right. Right. Exactly. So, like... So, I mean, this idea... But it just

makes me laugh because it's, like, who knows all about you and still loves

you?

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Because in some way it...


44


Michelle: Makes me think of, like, oh, even though, like, you might be, like...

There... There are definitely negative things about you, or maybe funny

things that other people...


Michelle: May not like. Like, your friend still loves you for them, you know? It just

makes me laugh.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it is kind of funny. [laughter]

Michelle: I don't know why I look at it that way.

Lindsay: [laughter] Yeah (yes).

Michelle: That is sweet. But anyway, umm, do you have a best friend?

Lindsay: Well, when I was growing up I had a best friend, and she and I, Emma was

her name, or she's still around, of course. But we're not really best friends

anymore. And now, I just have a lot of close friends, but I don't know if I

would say that one of them is my best friend, to be honest.

Michelle: Mm.

Lindsay: What about you, Michelle?

Michelle: Well, yeah (yes). I mean, I have two... Two best friends. I think I've talked

about them a little bit on the show.


Michelle: I... You know, from the time I was little, little, little. Like...

Lindsay: Mm.

Michelle: One of my best friends I’ve known since I was six months old. [laughter]

Lindsay: Mm.


Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

45


Michelle: And one... And the other one is, like, from my... I don't know, I was just a

few years old. And it's the three of us. And we're best friends. So, I'm

lucky...

Lindsay: Wow.

Michelle: That, you know...


Michelle: That's nice, to have these childhood friends. Umm. So, I would say that

they're, like, my best friends. But...

Lindsay: That's nice.

Michelle: Umm. I don't know. Do you think that it's... It's childish, like, at a certain

point to call people your best friends?

Lindsay: That's a good question. I... Mhh. I don't want to say it is, because...

Because I don't have anything against it. But I guess it's kind of... It... It's

less common to hear adults say 'my best friend'.

Michelle: 'My best friend'.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it's a little bit less common. But even my mom, I mean, she still

has... Actually, she doesn't say best friend, but she is hanging out a lot...

Spending a lot of time with her two closest friends from, like, when she

was five. I mean, they all live down by the beach, the place we live in the

summertime.

Michelle: Ohh, wow.

Lindsay: So, they are really her two best friends. I mean, she doesn't say 'my best

friend', but they are her best friends for life.

Michelle: So, what...

Lindsay: Lifetime.

Michelle: What... What might she call them? Do you... I mean...

46


Lindsay: Uhh. Just her friend, I guess.

Michelle: I heard you say 'close friend'.

Lindsay: 'Close friend'. Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Exactly. I mean, maybe that's kind

of, like, the more mature way to say 'best friend'. I don't know.

Michelle: Maybe. Yeah (yes), but it's... It's more common for kids to say, like... Kids

always have to have their best friend. Like, "Who's your best friend?

Who's your best friend?" Right? It's a thing for kids, for sure.

Michelle: Right, right, right. Just how I asked you. Like, it was kind of like, "Ohh, do

you have a best friend?" Yeah (yes).

Lindsay: Right. [laughter]

Michelle: It’s kind of childish, I think.

Lindsay: No, it's okay. [laughter]

Michelle: No, but that was my point. That's my point. It's 'don't worry'. I thought...

[laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: I thought this all through, I thought it all through. And yeah (yes), I think

that in some ways... Like I... I don't think... Like, okay, if I met someone...

If I met someone that I became very close with now...

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: I don't think that... Even if it was, like...

Lindsay: Mm.

Michelle: In, you know, a few years, I don't think I would say like, "Ohh, this is my

best friend."

Lindsay: Right, right. Okay. That's the point. So, you don't really make new best

friends. It's more about people who go way back into your life. Right? Go

way back.

47


Michelle: That's what... That's what I think. Yeah (yes), I mean, some people may

disagree, but I... I can't imagine, I don't know, that I feel like I call these

girls act... And there... There's even another, like, yeah (yes), it's

actually... There's... Uhh, uhh, uhh. Ehh. Like, because all of our mothers

are very close, and there's another girl as well, and she's kind of... You

know, in the group, too, and... Ahh.


Michelle: So, I would say 'best friends', because there's, like, really childhood. But...


Michelle: If I met, uhh, someone now, at my a... At my age...

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: I don't think I would say that.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no. [laughter] I guess now we might also say, like, your partner

is your best friend. I mean, that's fair.

Michelle: Exactly. That's the other thing. Then it... Then it kind of changes and...

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). The... I do think that that changes a lot. Yeah (yes), so... Yeah

(yes).


Michelle: My husband is also my best friend.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). That's interesting, isn't it? I like that. Okay. Cool.

Michelle: And... And how people, as partners, would say 'best friend'. Don't you

hear that?

Lindsay: Ehh. Say that again. People as partners...?

Michelle: Like... Like, if... If... If you're, you know, your life partner or whatever,

like, my husband...

48



Michelle: Like, I would say, "Ohh, that's..." "Ohh, like, he's, like, my best..." "He's my

best friend." You know?


Michelle: And then it's... I don't think it's as childish sounding, in a way.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), it's common. Like...

Michelle: I mean, a lot of people say that.

Lindsay: Sure. You hear that, like, maybe even at like wedding speeches or

something.

Michelle: Right.

Lindsay: You know.


Lindsay: "You're my..." "My..." "My lover, my partner, my best friend." You know,

that sort of thing.

Michelle: Yes, yes.

Lindsay: Very common to hear that about, umm... And that may also be cultural.

Like we do...


Lindsay: Kind of...

Michelle: Ahh.

Lindsay: I think we... I think...

Michelle: Interesting.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Like, if you think about... I think in American culture, often

what... what the expectation is from the culture is, yeah (yes), as you

49


were saying, when we're kids, like, we have our best friends. Like,

usually...


Lindsay: It's the same gender for many people. Not everyone.


Lindsay: But then, like, as we get...


Lindsay: Older, I think a lot of times the culture, like, expects us to replace that, and

then the partner becomes both the best friend and the lover, you know?

In a lot of ways. But some women often tend to maintain, like, their best

girlfriends.


Lindsay: But men... I don't know, it just depends on the person, I guess. But I think

that in a lot of ways...


Lindsay: The partner takes that role.



Michelle: I mean, you're with them, like, all the time, right?

Lindsay: Right, exactly. Mhh hhm.

Michelle: [laughter] Umm. But yeah (yes), so today, guys, we are going to give you

some... some vocabulary and phrases to say that you're best friends with

some of them. And some of them are admittedly a little bit cheesy.

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: But as we talk about so often on this show, they're good to know, right?

50


Lindsay: Mhh hhm. Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Umm. So, you may not say all these things, but they are definitely good to

know and you will hear them. So... I love the first one. What's the first

one, Lindsay?

[Instrumental]

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[Instrumental]

Lindsay: Okay. So, the first one is 'besties'. [laughter]

Michelle: "My bestie."

Lindsay: 'Besties'. "We're besties." Yeah (yes). [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes), "We're besties." Do you hear this?

Lindsay: I do hear it. I don't personally use it. Uhh.


Lindsay: It's just not in my personal vocabulary, but I definitely hear people use it.

So, our listeners are going to want to know it.

Michelle: Ohh, yeah (yes). Definitely. Like, I don't know if I say... I think if I were to

say it, I would say it in kind of a jokey way, like, "Ohh, we're besties."


Michelle: You know?

51


Lindsay: Yeah (yes), you're not taking it seriously, right?

Michelle: Right, right, right. Exactly. Umm. So... Um... And what's the next one?

Lindsay: Okay. The next one is 'to be attached at the hip'.

Michelle: 'To be attached at the hip'. Umm. I actually heard this because my mom

used it the other day.

Lindsay: Ohh, really? Your mom did? That's funny.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), she said... She's, like... She... I said like, "Ohh, you're making

like..." She's, like, making friends with, like, a new person and she is, like...

Ehh. So, she made a joke like, "Ohh, yeah (yes)." I said, "Ohh, you're

hanging out with this person all the time." And she's like, "Yeah (yes),

we're attached at the hip."

Lindsay: [laughter] That's weird, because it seems like a young... A phrase for

young people. That was kind of...

Michelle: Well, my mom is... My mom is super-hip. Ahh.

Lindsay: She's cool. Your mom's cool, huh? Ohh.


Lindsay: It's awesome.

Michelle: Umm. Really? You think it sounds, like, younger?

Lindsay: I do. I mean, I feel like it's more, like, our generation has used that in the

past. But maybe... Maybe your mom's generation... I don't know. I don't

know, to be honest, yeah (yes).

Michelle: Yeah (yes). I don't know. But, like, this is kind of a cute way to say you're,

like, always spending time together. Like, you're attached at the hip,

right?

Lindsay: Mm. Absolutely. [laughter] That's cute.

52


Michelle: Yeah (yes). And this one could be for a friendship or for, uhh, like, a

romantic relationship as well. Like, if you spend time with the person,

right?

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), totally. It just means you spend a lot of time with the person.

You spend a lot of time together. You're inseparable, kind of means that.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). And the next one is 'two peas in a pod'.

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: [laughter] This one...

Lindsay: This is definitely something I would hear my mom say.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes), yeah (yes). [laughter]

Lindsay: This is an older...

Michelle: "Ohh, you guys are like two peas in a pod."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). [laughter] My mom would totally say this.

Michelle: I love this one. I do hear this one. Like, I don't think I say it, but I... I hear

it, like, in a cheesy way all the time.

Lindsay: So, are we talking about vegetables here? Is that what... [laughter]

Michelle: Yeah (yes). You are... You are talking about vegetables. It's such a funny

phrase. I wonder where it came from. But this idea... [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Like, that you're, like, in the same space together. So, I don't know, you

use it to say that you spend a lot of time together, or it may be that you're

s... Like, kind of similar, or complement each other in a... In an interesting

way.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. You belong together.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Like two peas in a pod.

53


Lindsay: You got it.


Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Okay. And we'll just zoom through these next two. So, we have 'best

buds'.


Michelle: Right? "You're best buds." Uhh.


Michelle: So, kind of young-sounding. And then, what's the last one, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Well, if we say, "We're super close." Uhh. Is that the phrase? "You're

super..." "We're super close."


Lindsay: Right?

Michelle: "We're super close."


Michelle: "Ohh, we're super close."

Lindsay: Ohh ,yeah (yes). That's good. To be close to someone, you know, "We're

really close. We're super close. We're so close." You can use whatever

kind of intensifier you want there, right?

Michelle: Yeah (yes), yeah (yes). Maybe you're right. Like we were saying, maybe

you don't want to say 'best', but maybe you want to, you know, still say...

emphasize that your relationship is stronger than, like, uhh, just a regular

friend. I don't know.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), exactly. You got it. Cool.

Michelle: Alright, Lindsay, so should we... Let's give these a try, okay?

54


Lindsay: Okay, let's do it. Here we go.

Michelle: Okay. "Hey (hi), Lindsay. I am so excited because my best friend is coming

into town this weekend."

Lindsay: "That's awesome. Didn't she just visit two weeks ago?"

Michelle: "Uhh. Yeah (yes), I guess you're right."

Lindsay: "You guys are attached at the hip, huh?"

Michelle: "Pretty much. We're besties." [laughter]

Lindsay: "That's so great. My friend, who I'm super close with, is having a party

next week. You want to come?"

Michelle: "Uhh. Yeah (yes), sure. You guys are like two pie..." "Two peas in a pod

lately. I remember when you accidentally bo..." Ehh. "I remember when

you accidentally both wore the same shirt."

Lindsay: "I guess we're best buds." [laughter]

Michelle: Okay. [laughter]

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: Okay, guys, this was, like, the cheesiest conversation ever.

Lindsay: [laughter] Pretty cheesy.

Michelle: Umm. But... But there was no way for... I... I couldn't think of a way to

do it with... With these phrases without being cheesy. So, cheesy. So, I

guess...

Lindsay: That's okay.

Michelle: It goes to show you.

Lindsay: That's alright. It's okay, Michelle. [laughter] It's a fun episode, anyway.

Michelle: That was funny. So...

Lindsay: Okay.

55


Michelle: But still, very cute conversation. So first, I said that my best friend. So, we

know 'best friend', right? Uhh.

Lindsay: Mmh.

Michelle: And then, you use, like, "Didn't she come two weeks ago?" And then, this

led... led you to say what, Lindsay?

Lindsay: Well, I said, "You guys are attached at the hip, huh?"

Michelle: Mhh hhm. Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: And then, I said, "Pretty much. We're besties." And this was definitely,

like, light-hearted, you know? "We're besties."

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), absolutely. And then, I said, "My friend, who I'm super close

with..." Right? That's, like, not...

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Quite saying the person's your best friend, but saying you're close to them.

Okay?

Michelle: Mhh hhm.

Lindsay: Yeah (yes). Is having a party next week.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). Yeah (yes), yeah (yes), exactly. And then, I said, "You guys are

like two peas in a pod lately."

Lindsay: [laughter]

Michelle: And then, you closed it off with, "I guess we're best buds." And you...


Michelle: You can imagine that this is all said in a very jokey kind of way. I don't... I

don't think that we would be saying, "Ohh, yes. We're best buds."


56


Michelle: Like...

Lindsay: Yeah (yes), no. Yeah (yes). And it's... I mean... Yeah (yes), it's kind of

fun... But it's fun to be lighthearted when you talk about these things, you

know? It's good.

Michelle: Yeah (yes). So, I don't think that you would use all of these phrases in one

conversation like this. [laughter]

Lindsay: No, probably not.

Michelle: But... But we wanted to give... I think we used all of them, so...

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Wanted to give you guys a little idea of how it all sounded. Umm.


Michelle: And it's, you know, a younger-sounding kind of conversation, but good to

hear, and good to get these phrases. Umm.


Michelle: So, yeah (yes). Any... Any last comments on this, Lindsay?

Lindsay: I do have one. I think this comes back to connection, because part of

connecting with someone new is by... is opening up your world and

describing, like, who you're close with, right? So, you know, you're talking

to your colleague, you're talking to a new acquaintance, you talk about the

people you're already friends with, right? That's part of building

connection. So, you need to have the vocabulary to do that, guys.

Michelle: Yeah (yes), for sure, for sure.

Lindsay: Mhh hhm.

Michelle: Alright. Well, this has been good. So, umm, thanks for listening, guys.

And, uhh, I hope you get to spend some time with your besties over the

weekend.

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Lindsay: There you go, there you go. Alright, Michelle. Thanks for hanging out.

Talk to you soon.

Michelle: Thanks, Lindsay. Have a good one.

Lindsay: Bye.

Michelle: Bye.

[Instrumental]







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