ETIQUETTE AND MANNERS

Applying Social Graces in JS Prom

DEFINTIONS

• Etiquette – “ticket” Code of behavior or ethics (system of moral values or accepted principles of right)

• Manners – the way it is done or action

Reason Why have etiquette and manners?

• Man Savage vs Civilized

• Manners are about FEELINGS more than RULES“Manners, at their core, are being aware of how your actions are going to make other people feel," They're less about what fork should I be using when I have caviar."

• People with poor manners are more likely to hurt other people's feelings

• Show RESPECT to other people through manners and etiquette.

• Follow something universal.

• Etiquette is a code of behavior that delineates expectations for social behavior according to contemporary conventional norms within a society, social class, or group.

• Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society, though the term itself is not commonly used.

The Basic Thought

IT IS NOT ABOUT ME

IT IS ABOUT YOU!

HISTORY• The foundation for modern etiquette began in the French royal

courts in between the 1600s and 1700s. Under King Louis XIV, a placard was devised and posted with rules for all to follow.

• The first recordings of American etiquette were made in George Washington's Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior In Company and Conversation. It consisted of 110 rules based on a set of rules composed by French Jesuits in 1595. All the rules are based with the respect towards other people. These rules represent more than just manners, they represent the small sacrifices that we should all be willing to make for the good of all and the sake of living peacefully together. These rules not only proclaim our respect for others but also give in return the gift of self- respect and heightened self-esteem.

What to expect in Prom …Applying etiquette and manners

What is the Prom? What are the objectives?

• To put essence and value-centered meaning in the ceremonies to be made;

• To enhance bonding and camaraderie in a setting outside of the school premises;

• To complement character with real life practice on refinement, social graces, proper etiquette and decorum;

• To develop leadership and organizational skills among the students through a cooperative effort in putting up an activity which requires huge responsibilities leading to the build-up of self-esteem, credibility and independence with adherence to the principles of good moral character and social responsibility;

• To fulfill a tradition of subsidizing ALL seniors, teachers, administration and to subsidize in whole or in part the juniors who are financially less fortunate;

BEFORE THE PROM

R.S.V.P.

• R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, "répondez, s'il vous plaît,"

• which means "please reply.“

• Reply right away whether you are going or not

Asking for a date.Going with a partner

• Why?– Like, interested for a deeper relationship– Don’t want to be alone– Escort– Application of what was learned– Highly encouraged

Dating 101 - Asking• Methods

- simple- creative- back ups to gain confidence

- asking permission from parents- telling them about your plans

- pick up, bring home time, full schedule

- extra… invite them too

Formal wear

• Female- gowns- national attire- long dresses?

• Males- long tails with white bow tie (ultra)- long tails with black bow tie (formal)- tuxedo- national attire (formal)- business suit? Vs. blazer (psuedo)

Pick-up, Meet-up

• The gentleman should pick the lady up in the house or at least meet somewhere prior to the actual venue

• Be courteous to the parents and be patient with all the pictures

• Gentleman should always offer their arm to the lady when walking; Ladies should take their offered arm.

• Gentleman should always open the door for the lady• Ladies should enter car properly… (not like as if they

are in jeans). Sit down first then lift both legs inside the car.

Flowers• Gentlemen will offer ladies corsages for their wrist or pinned to

the bodice or shoulder strap of their dress.• Ladies will offer gentleman a boutonniere to be worn on the left

lapel of their jacket.• Young men should open the box before handing it to his date.• To put on a wrist corsage, turn the inside of the arm up and slip

on the corsage. That way, gravity keeps the flowers hanging down and keeps the flowers from being damaged.

• If you are giving your date a pin-on corsage, hand it to her and let her pin it on herself. If you see she is having problems, you may offer to help if you are comfortable doing so.

• Ladies should pin the boutonniere to their date's jacket, making sure the pin is under the lapel.

• If a young man wants to make a hit with the parents, bring the mother a small bouquet of flowers

During Prom

Table manners (basics)

• At the dinner table, a gentleman helps the lady to the right of him as she sits or rises from her chair.

• Gentleman should move the chair for the lady before they sit down.

• At the table, place the napkin immediately on your lap. If you have to get up, place it in your chair, not on the table. Don't put your napkin on the table until you are finished eating.

• Wait until everyone is served before eating.

• At the table, start with the fork on the outside and work your way inside.

• Do not talk with your mouth full.• Elbows off the table at all times!• Keep your arms near you at all times, do not

poke your neighbor with your elbows• If your dinner knife becomes dirty, do not put

it on the tablecloth. Place it on the edge of your plate.

• Bread Plate is on your left• Break bread by the piece and butter only that

piece and not the whole bread.• When having soup, use spoon to scoop away

from you. Soup should be taken from the side of the spoon and not on its end. (no slurp).

• Cut your food into only one bite-sized pieces at a time.

• Savor the meal and eat slowly; it encourages conversation and conviviality

• Do not crunch on ice cubes• Don’t be loud and distracting to the other

people in the table.• Don’t keep to yourself. Interact.• If you have an unpleasant time in a restaurant

do not badger the wait staff.• Do not use your cell phone !!! Devote your

attention to your date.• Gentlemen are expected to stand up when a

lady (date or not) arrives and shall only sit when the lady sits or when she tells them to do so

Going around

• Gentlemen should offer their arm to the lady as they walk around.

• You may converse with your other friends but do not completely abandon your date.

• Introduce your partner if people you talk to do not know him/her (mention important first)

• ALWAYS escort a Lady whenever possible

Dancing

• You are not limited to dancing with just your date on the night of prom. Enjoy with your friends as well. BUT ASK PERMISSION FIRST

• Gentlemen, offer to dance with your friends. Ladies, accept. Don’t think of it as anything more than just a simple dance with a friend.

• Don’t get too ‘wild’(intimate) • Relax… Do not be stiff

After Prom

• Gentleman should bring the lady back to her house.

• Thank the girl… Thank parents if they waited.

CHALLENGE

• Ask yourself… Was the experience worth it?• Should this attitude be limited to the Prom

alone?• Should we be ashamed to apply these things?

• The bigger challenge is how to make etiquette and manners part of our everyday life.

• Apply it everyday until it becomes automatic.

Assimilation

• Sections would be scheduled to have lunch in a portion of the cafeteria• Students would be observed and

corrected then and there by facilitators• Activity will not last more than 30

minutes

HARRY POTTER – Goblet of Fire Yule BALL Scene