Picnic Woes

- Nimal C Namboodiripad

Most of you would have been on one picnic or the other. With family or friends. This

could have been a one-day trip or one of a longer variety. And all these would have been

filled with a fair amount of frustration and desperation along with all the fun and frolic.

What I have found over the years, especially if you are taking a group of twenty

somethings on a tour from the college is that the frustrating takes majority over the fun

and frolic. And one of the main reasons is the tour operators. In fact I will divide the

problem areas into two. The ‘bus’ or transportation part and the ‘hotel’ or

accommodation part.

It was interesting to study how many ways there are in which people cheat the poor

‘picnist’. I thought I would put things down in black and white so that at least some

unsuspecting soul will be saved.

1. Show one bus and send another: When you go to book a bus/van they will show you

one of supreme quality with plush chairs, A/c, Video, CD all in working condition,

beautiful exterior, the works. You are happy, you give the advance to the tour operator or

the bus company as the case may be happy in the belief that the bus you are going to go

on that 12 hour drive is one of the best that is available. To make everybody happy you

even note down the numbers on the licence plate. But come the day of the trip every thing

goes topsy turvy. Unless you are the son of the owner of the bus or something similar

there would be an urgent phone call from the tour operator’s office. Sir, the bus that was

kept aside for you has gone on another trip to Velankanni. There has been a Tsunami

there and in the consequent block it has not reached back. Alternatively it could have

broken down on the way back also. Now, will it be OK if we send another bus? Or can

we wait for another two hours? In that time it may be here. Or it may not be here. You

end up going in the ‘new’ bus which definitely is of far inferior quality.

2. Show one driver and send another: This is an add on to the show bus, send another.

The one shown would be young, full of beans, very knowledgeable about the place where

you are going. But the one that arrives will be old, morose, driving a bus for the first

time(he was a lorry driver till the day before!) and doesn’t know the meaning of the third

gear let alone that of the fourth. The worst case scenario is when the pedestrians start

overtaking you.

3. Slow to and fast fro: This is one case for which I have not found a reason or logic, but

the drivers generally has such a modus operandi. The trip down is much much faster that

when going towards your destination. Ultimately you end up with taking almost double

the time that you would have taken if the driver had kept up a decent speed.

4. Cannot go because it is against permit: This is a scenario which may have some

amount of legal justification, especially if you are crossing state boundaries. If you want

to make a slight detour to visit a location that was not in your original plan things get

difficult. The drivers immediately will put up a block saying that they cannot go because

it was not there in the permit taken from the authorities. Always cross check with the

authorities at the toll box!

5. Was not in previous plan: If by chance they do detour, or even come back after the

visit on a different route than planned they are definitely going to charge more – even

though the distance taken may be actually less.

6. Take to bad restaurants: As long as you know the place you are visiting this is not a

problem area. But if you are dependent on the drivers most probably you will end up in

the worst restaurants around town – reason? Commission to the drivers and free food

from the hotels of course.

7. Want to come back early – another trip: This starts some two hours before you were

actually supposed to start back home. The drivers begin to fuss that the bus has to reach

back quickly since there is another trip on the anvil and they have to clean up, freshen up,

the works. Maybe this is a reason for the return trip being faster than on the way up.

8. Bad tempered drivers: Drivers may be bad, drivers may be slow, but the worst is the

morose one, who is an infinite kill joy. Tell the bugger some jokes and check out his

sense of humour before deciding on the journey.

9. Clear cut route: Make sure the tour operators agree to the route you want to take.

Otherwise you will end up going along the route which is the easiest(but the longest if the

payment is in terms of kilometers) or shortest(if payment is a lumpsum) which may not

be ideal or the one that you want to go on.

A. Book one get another: Similar to the bus scenario, you may book one hotel but get

another. If you are lucky and cross check before you start on the journey you would be at

least aware of the circumstance right from the beginning(unfortunately you cannot do

much about it even then). Otherwise it will be a deep disappointment early in the morning

when the ablutions are long overdue and you find that the hotel you have booked is fully

occupied and the one that they are showing you is hardly livable, but much more costly.

B. Campfire –has to get fire and police clearance: The hotel will agree to the campfire

when you book it, even quote an exhorbitant rate – which you agree to- but gives such

exotic excuses as you have to get police or forest officer’s clearance when it comes to the

actual implementation. There are very few cases when a campfire has been successful in

a hotel setting. It would be better to take your own firewood, kerosene and matchbox

with you and set fire to it in an open ground somewhere in the night and enjoy yourself

than depending on the hotels for the service.

There are lots of other such things to be careful about, which I will research in detail and

reveal to you sometime in the near future. But the moral of the story is – beware of all the

spiel that the tour operators give you.