passion-and-deceit-part-vi.pdf

7/27/2019 passion-and-deceit-part-vi.pdf

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/passion-and-deceit-part-vipdf 1/20

Dear Reader,

Hi it’s me, Leela Atherton, and you can skip to Chapter Twenty if you like. I ust wanted to say thank you for all the !reat

re"iews and support I’"e recei"ed while writin! #assion and Deceit, plus all your patience while ha"in! to wait for each

instalment. If you’"e read my inter"iew you’ll know that the story of $aya and Rai", %as well as &ay and 'urt( does not end

here. The second, and final, )ook* #assion and Denial still needs to )e written, )ut there is a short pre"iew of it at the end of

+ook ne.

I will )e takin! a )reak )efore continuin! work on +ook Two, as I also ha"e a charity or!anisation to run %see my inter"iew(

-$+L' npc. /e feed 012 kids twice a day and fundraisin! can )e a full3time o). It’s )een a difficult decision to make, )utthe po"erty3stricken children of 4u!ulethu in 5outh Africa ha"e to take priority for now.

In the meantime I will )e su)mittin! #assion and Deceit to pu)lishers, resume my writin! and complete #assion and Denial.

If you ha"e any interest in -m)eleko’s Aftercare 6eedin! 5cheme, please read our newsletter, pu)lished on smashwords, spread

the word, check3out our we)site and )e part of po"erty alle"iation in the world.

Lastly, I would like to thank #aul Cocker and smashwords for !i"in! me the opportunity to pu)lish my )ook online and allowin!

people to read and enoy my work.

Happy readin!.

Leela Atherton

777777777777777777777

#assion and Deceit

#art 8I

+y

Leela Atherton

Co"er )y Hum)lenations.com

#u)lished )y Leela Atherton at 5mashwords

Copyri!ht 9 :201 )y Leela Atherton

This )ook is licensed for your personal enoyment only. This )ook may not )e re3sold or !i"en away to other people. If you would like to

share this )ook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are readin! this )ook and did no purchase

it or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return it to 5mashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respectin!

the hard work of this author.

CHA#TR T/;T<

$aya stared at her reflection in the mirror, wonderin! if she should wear her hair up or lea"e it loose. If &osie were around she

could ha"e asked her, )ut &osie was workin! toni!ht. +itin! into her )ottom lip, she smoothed her hands o"er her thi!hs, !a=in!

)ack into the mirror. 5he had on the same )lack dress she’d first worn to that dreadful dinner3party at Cran)rook in /iltshire,

)ut the weather was much cooler now than it had )een that e"enin!, so she’d teamed it with )lack ti!hts, )oots and a "inta!e,

)ur!undy acket, to keep out the cool, damp weather. Autumn was settin! in, the days were !ettin! shorter and she’d )e

startin! work at the +radfield Centre on $onday.

6irst thou!h, she had to !et this meetin! with Rai" out of the way. Her stomach lurched at the thou!ht* she would )e seein!

him in less than an hour, seein! him, and sayin! !ood)ye. #uttin! this > affair )ehind her and !ettin! on with her life, her new

o), which she hoped would keep her )usy. 'eep her mind off the man who had occupied her thou!hts constantly these past two

weeks.

5ince lea"in! London her mind had )een in turmoil. That scene with Rai" in London, when he’d seen the )ruises on her wrists,

had distur)ed her* she’d felt he was o"er3reactin! and had told him so, which had only infuriated him e"en more. He seemed to

)e filled with !uilt and > a kind of self3loathin! and her heart went out to him. He was not a )ad man, she knew that a)solutely*

sure he had his flaws > who didn’t 3 )ut he was certainly not the monster he seemed to )elie"e he was. And her comin! into his

life had only ser"ed to enhance his trou)led mind. . . .

?Are you still comin! to din)ur!h@ 5he’d asked, that mornin! in London, after he’d seen the )ruises and freaked out.

http://www.umbelekpnpc.co.za/

http://www.umbelekpnpc.co.za/



He’d )een sittin! on the ed!e of the sofa with his head in his hands. ?Do you want me to@ He lifted his face to stare starkly at

her.

$aya knew it was cra=y, this affair could not continue, )ut she needed to see him a!ain, ust one last time. 5he couldn’t )ear

for it to end like this.

?<es, she )reathed, meetin! his searchin! !a=e.

?/ell, considerin! what I’"e done, he was talkin! a)out the )ruises. ?I’ll understand perfectly if your answer is No when I

come to din)ur!h.

5he wanted to continue ar!uin! with him, reassurin! him that she )ruised really easily, that there was no reason for him to feel

)ad, )ut she knew that would only make him an!rier than he already was with himself. 5o she ust nodded, relie"ed that he was

still comin! up to see her, e"en if she said no, at least she would !et to see him one last time.

They’d hardly spoken on the way to the hospital, he’d )een Buiet, morose, and she’d decided not to try and li!hten the mood, it

would ha"e )een a futile effort anyway. They could talk when he came to din)ur!h. He hadn’t e"en kissed her !ood)ye, ust

informed her in that cool, detached manner that +ial would pick her up here at the hospital at one ’o clock to take her to the

airport. 5he’d reached out her hand and stroked his cheek and he’d pulled it away, starin! at the )ruises on her wrist, )efore

pressin! his lips to them, !a=in! at her with )leak, pained eyes.

/atchin! the #orsche dri"e away, $aya had eperienced a de"astatin! sense of loss. He was !oin! to India net weekend* to

meet an Indian woman whom his mother )elie"ed would make the perfect wife. &ealously sliced throu!h her like a knife. There

was a !ood chance that he would see what his mother saw in this prospecti"e )ride, and fall madly in lo"e with her. I!norin! the

physical pain that pierced her chest, makin! it difficult to )reathe, $aya tried tellin! herself it would )e for the )est. Their

relationship had no future* she was pro)a)ly !oin! to say no to his proposal anyway. If he decided this woman in 4oa was ri!ht

for him, she should feel pleased for him. After all, he deser"ed some happiness* life had not )een easy on him. Despite all his

millions, he’d had his fair share of hardship and sufferin!.

&ay and 'urt were sharin! the hospital )ed readin! the daily newspapers, when $aya arri"ed* lookin! like a typical 5unday

mornin! couple, despite the fact that it was $onday. $aya smiled indul!ently, this was what really mattered, her an!st3ridden

mornin! with Rai" forced into the )ack!round )y the oy that surrounded this couple.

?$aya They eclaimed in unison.

?6inally, &ay added, eye)rows raised.

?Hi you two, she dropped her )a! onto a chair and went to hu! them )oth in turn.

?&ay you look > ama=in! > positi"ely !lowin!.

?The power of lo"e. He smiled, !lancin! at 'urt then )ack at her.

'urt folded the newspapers as &ay !ra))ed her hand and drew her closer to the )ed. ?How are you, I epected you here

earlier@

$aya held her smile, determined to keep the mood positi"e and li!ht.

?h I slept late, had a lo"ely )reakfast, drawin! in a deep )reath, she kept her answer "a!ue. ?+esides, I wanted to !i"e you

two time alone. I’m sure you had a lot of talkin! and > catchin! up to do.

&ay actually )lushed and $aya lau!hed. ?I’m so happy this is finally sorted out.

&ay’s epression chan!ed. ?It’s not all sorted, $aya. He said in that serious "oice. ?It’s far from sorted.

?&ay 'urt almost shouted. ?/ill you stop !oin! on a)out mother.

?/ell it’s true. He !lanced at $aya. ?He doesn’t know my mother.

?True, )ut we don’t ha"e to worry a)out her ri!ht now. 'urt dropped the newspapers onto the floor. ?&ay, please put aside

your Indian, Catholic, !uilt, this > shame > of yours and let’s ust enoy the moment.

?I know, I know, you’re ri!ht. &ay ru))ed his eyes with his palms. ?I spoke to her this mornin!, $aya.

?<ou did > from India@

?<eah, he nodded. ?5he seemed relie"ed* I !uess I sounded > happy >which I am.

?5ee. 'urt !a"e him a reassurin! smile.

?$ay)e she’ll )e ok a)out it, relie"ed that you’re happy, healthy a!ain. $aya added, not really con"inced. ?/hen do you planon tellin! her@

&ay looked at her with worried eyes, not con"inced either. ?I’ll wait til she !ets )ack from India.



?<ou could !i"e her a chance to !et to know 'urt first. As a trained therapist $aya knew not to !i"e ad"ice, )ut &ay was her

friend not her client. ?<ou don’t ha"e to rush into tellin! her.

?<ou think@

$aya shru!!ed. ?It’s really up to you and 'urt to decide how you’re !oin! to !o a)out it, )ut you could ust take it one day at a

time. #lay it )y ear.

&ay nodded ea!erly. ?I think you’re ri!ht $aya. nce she !ets to know 'urt she may realise how !ood he is for me, how !ood we

are to!ether. He reached for 'urt’s hand, sBuee=in! ti!ht.

The rest of her "isit went well, &ay’s mood lifted as he put his worries aside. The three of them were ser"ed a delicious lunch,

which seemed to )e the norm if you were )ein! treated in a pri"ate clinic like this one. The staff was friendly and helpful, not

)attin! an eyelid at the o)"iously lo"in! relationship )etween their patient and 'urt.

It was sad sayin! !ood)ye* &ay would )e seein! the doctor )efore he was dischar!ed later that day and they were )oth ecited

at the prospect of spendin! some Buality time to!ether at Rai"’s apartment. $aya felt !uilty and uncomforta)le listenin! to &ay

enthuse a)out how lo"ely the penthouse was, pretendin! she’d ne"er seen the place herself* lyin!, especially to friends, was

not a pleasant feelin!.

+y the time +ial arri"ed, she was ready to lea"e, and althou!h a little teary eyed it was !enerally a happy !ood)ye, )ut her

fli!ht home came as a shockin! surprise. +ial dro"e her to London City Airport, where a pri"ate et with the $addo3&unta lo!o

)eamin! )ri!htly from its tail, awaited her. $aya felt uncomforta)le, !uilty at the thou!ht of all the fuel )ein! used ust to fly

her )ack to din)ur!h when she could easily ha"e taken a normal domestic fli!ht, or e"en the train. The luurious interior and

attenti"e ser"ice from the sophisticated stewardess only ser"ed to enhance her realisation of how totally different their worlds

were. This was a life3style she could ne"er ima!ine )ecomin! accustomed to.

&ay and 'urt had )oth emailed her since then and, as Anna was still in India, they sounded happy and content. &ay was takin!

'urt to all the museums and !alleries in London, as well as the tourist attractions, and they were e"en plannin! a weekend in

#aris )etween mo"in! from of Rai"’s apartment to the 'ni!hts)rid!e house.

Rai" had teted her twice in the past two weeks, e"en thou!h he had her email address* ust two )rief tets. The first one was

sent soon after he’d returned from 4oa, lettin! her know he was )ack in London and would inform her of when he would )e

arri"in! in din)ur!h. The second one was sent a week later, askin! if she could meet him for dinner at the +almoral Hotel

where he was stayin!, and could he send a car to pick her up, which she’d refused. It was only a twenty minute walk to the

hotel, which would !i"e her time to work off some of her aniety )efore facin! him a!ain.

Turnin! away from the mirror, she decided to lea"e her hair as it was, she didn’t ha"e the time to put it up now, anyway.

5lidin! on her )ur!undy, "el"et acket, she decided her hair looked nicer loose, )esides she didn’t want to look o"er3dressed.;owadays people seemed to dress casually, e"en in fi"e star hotels. Checkin! her make3up one last time, she applied a pale pink

colour to her lips, and reached for her small, slin! )a!, preparin! herself mentally to lea"e the security of her flat and make her

way to the hotel > where Rai" awaited her.

CHA#TR T/;T< ;

Rai" entered the hotel lo))y, spottin! $aya immediately. 5he was talkin! to the hotel mana!er at the front desk, her flame3

coloured hair instantly catchin! his !a=e, settin! her apart from e"eryone else in the "icinity. His eyes ate her up* she was

wearin! the same sey, )lack dress she’d worn at that unfortunate dinner3party at Cran)rook* that little )lack num)er that had

dri"en him to the )rink of losin! control. This e"enin! thou!h, she wore it with a plum3coloured acket, )lack ti!hts and knee3len!th, )lack )oots. #ossessi"e desire hit him like a )low to the stomach, particularly when he saw the youn! hotel mana!er

smilin! at her, tryin! to work his unctuous charm on her 3 until he noticed Rai" !larin! at him.

?$r $addo. His wary smile was not returned. ?There you are.

Rai"’s eyes slid o"er him to rest on $aya, maskin! the ealousy that had frosted his !a=e.

Her strikin!, !reen eyes, shadowed )y sooty, darkened lashes, were held capti"e )y the intensity of his stare. He mo"ed in, his

eyes eatin! her up and he didn’t )other tryin! to hide it. ?Hi. He folded her warm, slender hand in his, caressin! her knuckles

with his thum). ?5orry I’m late* I ust went out for a walk.

?That’s ok, she smiled, ner"ous. ?I only !ot here a minute a!o.

He nodded at the hotel mana!er and steered her towards one of the mar)le pillars closer to the ele"ators.

?I didn’t feel like eatin! in the restaurant, his tone was deli)erately casual ?5o I ordered dinner in my suite, is that ok with

you@



5he hesitated, as he knew she would. ?Look, he shru!!ed. ?If you want to eat in the restaurant that’s fine, I’ll ust let the

mana!er know and we can !o to the )ar for a drink first.

?;o. His )ody hummed. ?<ou’re ri!ht* we need to talk > in pri"ate.

He was still holdin! her hand and the feel of her delicate skin a!ainst his thum) was causin! liBuid heat to pool in his !roin.

?4ood, he smiled, steerin! her towards the ele"ators.

?<ou look )eautiful, he said, once the doors had closed.

The dress looked Buite different with ti!hts and heeled )oots, )ut ust as pro"ocati"e. /ith her lon!, coppery hair spread out

a!ainst the dark, "el"et acket, she looked like she’d ust stepped out of the swin!in! sities and it was sey as hell. He only

hoped he could control the lust that was coursin! throu!h him once they were alone in his suite.

?Thank you. Her "oice was cool, detached, and he ust knew she was !oin! to say no to his proposal. ?How are &ay and 'urt

doin!, ha"e you seen them lately@

?<es, he smiled, recallin! his )esotted )rother with a miture of cynicism and en"y. ?They’re )oth really well* in #aris for the

weekend. They’"e mo"ed into the 'ni!hts)rid!e house while my mother’s in India. 5o, I’"e !ot my apartment )ack.

?How do you think she’s !oin! to react when &ay tells her > the news@ Her look of concern mirrored his own unease, how was

his Catholic, Indian mother !oin! to react to the fact that her youn!er son was !ay and "ery much in lo"e with a man he

constantly referred to as his soul mate?

He shook his head, distracted )y the turn of con"ersation. ?Hell, $aya. He muttered, ru))in! the )ack of his neck. ?I can’t seeher acceptin! it. They’re )oth li"in! in this 3 )u))le at the moment, )ut I’"e !ot a feelin! the )u))le’s !oin! to )urst once she

!ets )ack to London. I’ll do my )est to con"ince her that it’s a !ood thin!, that &ay’s happier than he’s e"er )een, )ut I don’t

know . . .

5he listened to him, )itin! into her full, )ottom lip, and Rai"’s mind switched, his li)ido kickin! in, the anieties a)out &ay and

his mother fadin! into the ether.

They entered the hotel suite and he made his way to the liBuor ca)inet. ?/hat can I !et you@ He asked, pourin! himself a

sin!le whisky, he needed his wits a)out him.

?h, can I ha"e a whisky with lots of ice and water, please. It looked like he was not the only one wantin! to keep his head

toni!ht.

5he was starin! out of the lon! windows when he handed her the crystal tum)ler.The "iew of the castle is )eautiful from up

here.

?<es, that’s what I like a)out this hotel. Touchin! his !lass to hers and takin! a sip, he watched her o"er the rim. ?I remem)er

you wearin! that dress at Cran)rook, he murmured, his eyes skimmin! o"er the stretchy knit, the way it hu!!ed her )ody in all

the ri!ht places. ?I was cra=y that ni!ht, )elie"in! you were with 5anay > cra=y with ealousy.

?It all seems like such a lon! time a!o. 5he stared down at the am)er liBuid. ?How is 'irti, )y the way@ Do you still keep in

contact@

?'irti’s fine, he si!hed, not wantin! to talk a)out her. ?I’"e seen her once since we > )roke up. 5he seems to )e Buite happy* I

don’t think she was particularly heart3)roken )y our splittin! up.

?I’m !lad. He mana!ed to hold her !a=e. ?5he deser"es to )e happy.

?And me, do I deser"e to )e happy@

Her cat’s eyes widened at his Buestion, then she nodded. ?<es, Rai", you do deser"e to )e happy. I tried tellin! you that in

London when you were so > an!ry > )ut you didn’t want to listen.

?Christ he drained the whisky, all his !ood intentions e"aporatin!. ?Don’t remind me. How are the )ruises@ He clasped her

free hand, turnin! it palm up, caressin! the pale, creamy skin with his thum). ?Thank 4od, they’re !one.

?All !one. 5he smiled, a real smile, and his senses sur!ed. ?<ou can sleep easy now.

He held onto her hand. ?If only . . .

5he turned )ack to the window, takin! her hand with her, and he went to pour himself another drink, e"en thou!h he’d

promised himself he’d take it easy toni!ht.

?5o how was 4oa@ /ith her )ack was to him, it was impossi)le to know what she was thinkin!. ?How’s your mother@

?$y mother is > not happy > of course. He stalled, knowin! they had to !et this su)ect out of the way, )ut wishin! they didn’tha"e to !o there.

?And the youn! woman you went to meet, was she e"erythin! you epected@ /as she ealous@ His heart leapt at the idea.



?6atima was lo"ely, yes. He paused, tryin! to !au!e her reaction, )ut she kept her !a=e fied outside the window. ?"erythin!

my mother would ha"e wanted in a dau!hter3in3law.

?5o do I hear the sound of weddin! )ells@

He lau!hed a harsh, )rittle sound. ?;ot Buite, I had a lucky escape.

6inally, she turned to face him. ?/hat do you mean@

?Her father was a "ery wise man.

?Her father@

?<es, ?he nodded, recallin! the con"ersation with the !irl’s father that sultry e"enin! while walkin! outside, around the

family’s luscious !arden, in one of the older parts of #anim in 4oa. ?He and I had a > man3to3man talk at the end of the day. He

told me that he could not accept me as a suita)le hus)and for his only dau!hter, he wanted to see her married to a man who

could lo"e her, adore her, as she deser"ed to )e. And he could see I was not that man.

?I’m sorry, Rai".

?<ou’re sorry He set the tum)ler down with contained "iolence and went to stand in front of her, where she couldn’t a"oid his

!a=e. ?/hy* are you that ea!er to !et rid of me@ His hands mo"ed of their own accord, strokin! the wide lapels of the "el"et

acket, slidin! inside to caress the smooth skin of her shoulders, )efore slippin! the acket down o"er her arms to drop to the

floor where she stood.

He shook his head, )emused. ?I can’t )elie"e you’re wearin! this dress. Runnin! his hands from her creamy, eposed shoulders,

to carefully clasp her wrists, Rai" allowed his !a=e to roam o"er her lon!, su)tle cur"es, outlined )y the stretchy )lack dress.

?Ha"e you any idea what I went throu!h that ni!ht, wantin! to strip this dress off of you, inch )y inch. He waited for her to

pull away, and triumph soured throu!h him when she didn’t. He pulled her closer, drawin! her arms around his )ack, )rin!in!

their )odies up a!ainst each other, still she didn’t pull away. 5he was starin! up at him, her eyes wide, lips parted and in"itin!.

Lowerin! his head, Rai" released her wrists, his spine archin! as her fin!ers spread )eneath his acket, eplorin! his )ack,

sendin! shi"ers of deli!ht throu!h his )ody, down to his !roin.

?Is that why you wore it, he )reathed a!ainst her mouth. ?+ecause you knew it would dri"e me mad.@

?;o. 5he whispered, eyes !la=ed and confused. ?I didn’t know what else to wear to a fi"e star hotel.

His mouth fastened on hers, his hands runnin! from her lower )ack to cup her )uttocks and press her mound a!ainst the swellin!

rid!e of his erection. His )ody was hot and pulsin!, as his mouth plundered hers. He tried to control his ra!in! li)ido, the

memory of those )ruises still fresh in his mind. Resistin! the ur!e to dra! the dress off her and throw her onto the chesterfield)ehind them, he allowed his mouth free rei!n, twistin! and matin! his ton!ue with hers, hands trem)lin! with the need to slide

)eneath the dress and caress her until she )e!!ed him to take her. +ut he held )ack, remindin! himself that she was too

"ulnera)le, too innocent for him to for!et himself and unleash his carnal needs. <et she was dri"in! him cra=y, dra!!in! his shirt

out to eplore the taut muscle of his )ack, rakin! her fin!ernails alon! his hot, damp skin. Rai" !roaned a!ainst her mouth,

knowin! he needed to slow thin!s down.

A knock on the door )rou!ht him to his senses.

?That must )e the meal I ordered. He dra!!ed some air into his lun!s and, circlin! her wrists, took an unsteady step away from

her warm, in"itin! )ody.

77777777777777777

$aya was mortified. Dear 4od, they hadn’t )een in his hotel room more than a half hour and she’d )een ready to )e! him to

make lo"e to her As he went to answer the door, she turned towards the windows a!ain, pressin! her hands a!ainst her flushed

cheeks.

5he heard the waiters enter the suite and, takin! a deep )reath, turned to face them, prayin! that the low li!htin! would hide

her hei!htened state of arousal.

The first waiter steered the food3laden, heated trolley close to the dinin!3room ta)le, ready to )e of ser"ice. $aya had

o)ser"ed the ta)le on enterin! the suite* !leamin! with sil"er and crystal, curled linen napkins were set in sBuare )one3white

plates, a delicate, sil"er candela)ra in the centre. A romantic dinner for two* he’d o)"iously !one to a lot of trou)le.

?That’s fine thank you, Rai" was sayin!. ?/e’ll see to oursel"es, I’m sure the food is perfect.

?The wines monsieur,” the other waiter, whom she !uessed to )e the sommelier spoke, he was carryin! an ice3)ucket with a

)ottle of white wine inside, as well as a )ottle of red, cupped like an o)ect of "alue, in his free hand.



?Thank you #edro. Rai"’s "oice was husky and she felt a sense of relief knowin! she was not the only one affected )y their

cra=ed )eha"iour. ?I’m sure the wines are ecellent, if you could ust open them we’ll mana!e.

+oth waiters looked disappointed once the wines were opened and Rai" held the door aar for them to lea"e* )ut it was an

enormous relief for $aya to see the )ack of them, under the circumstances.

?Are you hun!ry@ He closed the door, runnin! impatient fin!ers throu!h his thick hair.

?;o, she shook her head, food )ein! the last thin! on her mind.

?Thirsty@ His eyes met hers. ?<ou enoy white wine, don’t you@

?;ot ri!ht now. He’d )uttoned the acket of his suit and $aya felt )ra"e, knowin! that he was hard and aroused )y h, she’d

felt it a!ainst her )ody when he’d cupped her )ottom pullin! her ti!ht a!ainst him.

5he went to him, uncarin! that this was not how thin!s were meant to !o, uncarin! that she’d promised herself she’d ha"e her

say and lea"e. 5tandin! ri!ht in front of him, almost touchin!, she un)uttoned his acket and slowly eased it off his shoulders.

He was not wearin! a tie and the two top )uttons of his white shirt were undone, she lifted her hands and )e!an to un)utton

the rest of his shirt, eposin! dark, silky skin defined )y hard muscle.

?$aya, we need to talk. He sucked air throu!h his teeth when the palms of her hands made contact with his hot, )are chest.

?#lease, I don’t want to lose control with you.

?/hy@ 5he )reathed, pressin! her lips his sternum, hearin! his hiss of pleasure. ?/hy not lose control@

?+ecause the last time I ended up hurtin! you, that’s why. He )it out.

$aya drew his hands to her thi!hs and continued un)uttonin! his shirt until it !aped open eposin! his hardened nipples and taut

stomach. ?I told you, she ran her hands o"er his smooth, muscled torso, )rushin! her lips a!ainst his. ?I like it when you lose

control.

?;o, $aya, he rested his hands !ently on her hips, )ut his mouth )etrayed him, searchin! and capturin! hers in a hard,

possessi"e kiss, searchin! and takin! all she had to !i"e. 6inally he dra!!ed his mouth from hers. ?I promised myself I’ll ne"er >

loose it 3 hurt you like that a!ain.

$aya pushed him away so a)ruptly that he stum)led )ack, starin! down at her, confused. 5he turned and walked )ack to the

lon! windows. ?/ell I’m not interested. 5he said, threadin! her fin!ers throu!h her tan!led hair, shocked at her own )oldness

?If you’re plannin! on !i"in! me some watered3down "ersion of lo"e3makin! then I mi!ht as well lea"e.

5uddenly he was ri!ht )ehind her, !rippin! her naked shoulders and pullin! her )ack a!ainst him. ?<ou ha"e no idea what you’resayin!, $aya. He ran his hands alon! her smooth )are arms. ?+ut this is a dan!erous !ame you’re playin!.

His palms slid round to cup her )raless )reasts, sBuee=in! her ti!ht nipples. $aya moaned, leanin! )ack weakly a!ainst him,

feelin! the heat of his )ody all the way down her )ack, his hands slidin! alon! the silky )lack dress, until his fin!ers found the

top of her thi!hs where the dress ended and her le!s )e!an. ?Is this what you want@ His )reath was hea"y and warm a!ainst her

ear. ?r may)e this. He slid one hand )eneath the dress, )etween her thi!hs, cuppin! her hot mound in his palm

Her )ody sa!!ed into his, his hand )etween her le!s ti!htened, holdin! her up a!ainst him, her )ottom pressed hard a!ainst the

)ul!e of his erection.

?Is this what you want, $aya@ He repeated.

?-hh, 5he couldn’t speak, his middle fin!er was ru))in! a!ainst the seam of her se, and when he fisted his other hand into

her hair, pullin! her head )ack hard, eposin! her neck and )itin! into her earlo)e, $aya felt her )ody )e!in to con"ulse, heat

poolin! )etween her le!s.

His fin!er continued to work insistently. God he was so good at this, and the pleasura)le pain of her hair )ein! pulled ti!ht, the

)ite of his teeth searin! her earlo)e, sent her o"er the ed!e, plun!in! into a shockin!, eBuisite or!asm. Her hips erkin! and

thrustin! a!ainst his tormentin! hand, until there was nothin! )ut him, his )ody, his hands, his mouth now suckin! the pain

away, lea"in! her trem)lin!, weak and drenched in pleasure.

?<ou came to say !ood)ye, didn’t you@ He continued to hold her limp )ody hard a!ainst him, his hand moistened )y her pulsin!

se. ?Admit it, !o on say it, say it and put me out of my misery. <ou want this, )ut you don’t want me

?Ra > don’t3. 5he was !aspin! for )reath* her head thrown )ack a!ainst his shoulder, her fin!ernails di!!in! into his arm, and

her le!s trem)lin!, una)le to hold her up.

He released his hand from )etween her thi!hs and hooked his arm )eneath her knees. Liftin! her off the polished, mar)le floor,

he carried her )oneless )ody throu!h the !lass3framed dou)le doors into the luurious )edroom, lowerin! her onto the hu!e

)ed, strai!htenin! himself to stare down at her.

$aya was too dru!!ed with pleasure to care that she was sprawled across the )ed, her famous )lack dress now )unched up

around her hips. Rai" !lared down at her with !litterin! eyes, dra!!ed off his shirt, eposin! dark skin co"erin! hard, )unched



muscle. 5he stared )ack at him throu!h hea"y lids, uncarin! how wanton she may look. This was their last time to!ether and she

wanted him more than she could e"er ha"e ima!ined. If he thou!ht she was ust after meanin!less se, that all she wanted was

this, then he was wron!, )ut perhaps it was )etter for him to )elie"e that. asier for )oth of them really, if he did )elie"e that.

The )edroom had a stately look a)out it, dark wooden panellin!, lon! windows with "iews of din)ur!h Castle and the city li!hts

)eneath them. "erythin! su)limely tasteful and luurious, includin! the cool silk )ed3spread she was lyin! on, coloured in

shades of !old and )ron=e reflectin! the li!hts outside, shinin! throu!h the windows.

?Close the curtains, please Rai"@ 5he asked, wantin! to cocoon them in a world of their own.

?/hy@

?+ecause > I want you to, that’s why.

He stared at her for a lon! moment, his lean, )ron=ed )ody la=ily eposed to her. 5he could look at that )ody fore"er, )ut he

went to close the curtains, lea"in! the room in semi3darkness, ecept for the li!ht reflectin! from the room )ehind them.

?It’s too dark, he switched on a side3lamp, castin! a soft !olden !low o"er them. ?And I want to see you, especially while I

take off that dress. He stood at the )ottom of the )ed, !a=in! at her throu!h narrowed, searin! eyes, naked, ecept for the

)lack desi!ner trousers han!in! low on his hips. He hadn’t put on any wei!ht since she last saw him* his hip3)ones still

protrudin!, )ut not detractin! one )it from his harsh, sensual masculinity.

5he knew she looked wanton, shameless, layin! there with her arms and le!s spread, the dress pushed hi!h a)o"e her crotch,

which was co"ered only )y )lack panties and semi3transparent ti!hts.

?Don’t worry, )a)y, I’ll !i"e you what you want. He spoke in that insolent tone, which she detested, )ut she was too helpless

to care.

'neelin! )etween her sprawled le!s, Rai" ran his hands up her thi!hs, smoothin! the soft ti!hts a!ainst her warm skin, fin!ers

sweepin! alon! her inner le!s. Her )ody was still Bui"erin! from the earlier or!asm, and $aya’s )ottom lifted off the mattress

instincti"ely as his fin!ers )rushed a!ainst the ape of her thi!hs.

?asy, he murmured, )ut his une"en )reathin! )etrayed his own needs.

5lidin! his fin!ers )eneath the dress, he hooked them into the waist)and of her ti!hts and pulled them down to!ether with her

panties, o"er her hips and le!s, until they reached the top of her )oots and could !o no further. He eased her thi!hs apart,

knees )ent, once a!ain lea"in! only her crotch eposed and $aya was too mindless with need to care. He ran his hands hi!h up

her le!s* !ra=in! his thum)s a!ainst her )are se. Her )ody erked at his teasin! touch and he smiled* a satisfied, masculine

smile. Lowerin! his head he pressed his open mouth to her welcomin! flesh. $aya spasmed, a feral cry torn from her as her

whole )ody sur!ed, !ra))in! his hair to press him down a!ainst her.

?h no you don’t. He circled her wrists !ently, remo"in! them from his head and holdin! them down at her sides. ?This time I

call the shots. After all it’s a !ood)ye fuck, isn’t it@ His darkened )lue eyes were fiery, filled with an!er and lust

$aya hated his crude words, )ut deep down knew it was the truth. This was !ood)ye.

He lowered his head a!ain, usin! his lips and his ton!ue to tease her into mindless su)mission. Her hands were pinned at her

sides, all she could do was thrust her hips up to meet his teasin! ministrations, )ut he lifted his head easily e"ery time she tried

to thrust herself a!ainst him.

He kept on and on until she was )e!!in! him. ?Ra > please 3 stop tormentin! me, she moaned, circlin! her hips, mindless with

need. ?/hy are you doin! this to me@ It’s not fair.

?6air He lifted his head. ?<ou talk to me a)out fair. Is it fair that you’re !oin! to walk away from me toni!ht@

A so) escaped her at his accusin! words, collapsin! )ack a!ainst the soft spread, she allowed him to continue his torment,

)ecause she deser"ed it. 5he was !oin! to walk away, so let him torment her as much as he wanted, as lon! as they had this one

last ni!ht to!ether, let him do what he wanted with her.

And he did. 5he moaned, she )e!!ed, )ut she didn’t demand, allowin! him to dri"e her mad with his sensual epertise. 6inally

he dra!!ed himself from her, un=ippin! the )lack trousers, dark eyes roamin! o"er her semi3naked )ody, he stood up, strippin!

off completely, kickin! his shoes and trousers away, standin! naked, his se uttin! strai!ht out of his )ody, proud and

demandin!.

He stroked himself with one hand. ?This is all you want, isn’t it@ His )reathin! was la)oured. ?<ou’"e disco"ered your seuality

and now you’re ready to !o out and eplore it.

?;o 5he raised herself onto her el)ows. ?Rai" are you cra=y, I could ne"er do 3 this with anyone else )ut you.

He wasn’t e"en listenin!, he ust lowered himself onto her, settlin! himself into the cradle of her thi!hs and pushin! the dress

hi!h a)o"e her )reasts, caressin! them with hard, ur!ent hands, while plunderin! her mouth with his. The time for talkin! was

o"er.



$aya could feel his shaft, hot and hea"y )etween her thi!hs. 5he was desperate for him to )ury himself inside her and satisfy

that cra"in! need* for him to pound into her and dri"e her o"er the ed!e, the way only he knew how.

Archin! her )ack, she enticed him with her writhin! )ody until, with an erotic !roan of resi!nation, he !rasped his swollen shaft

in his fist and dro"e it into her. A cry of shocked pleasure escaped her, her )ody eplodin! around her. There was nothin! !entle

a)out their comin! to!ether, he didn’t wait or allow her )ody to stretch and accommodate his hu!e, ri!id len!th. He ust found

his rhythm and hammered into her, relentlessly.

$aya, so sensiti=ed from her pre"ious or!asm, splintered into another clima almost immediately, sendin! her hi!her and hi!her

with each thrust, until she felt she could not )e released from this hold he had o"er her. He mo"ed with desperate speed andstren!th, her le!s trapped )y his, the ti!hts pulled taut )etween her )oots. 5he wanted to wrap her le!s around him )ut it was

impossi)le. All she could do was raise her hips to meet each thrust, di!!in! her nails into his erkin! )uttocks. He seemed to

enoy the fact that she was so constricted, his le!s a hea"y wei!ht a!ainst the ti!hts )etween her le!s. 4rippin! her shoulders

from )ehind, he held her down with each upward thrust, forcin! himself deeper inside of her. $aya so))ed, con"ulsin! wa"es of

eBuisite pleasure sur!in! throu!h her until, finally, his )ack arched, taut as a )ow. He rose a)o"e her and eploded with a

shudderin! !roan* his hot semen floodin! into her, he collapsed hea"ily onto her, his flesh still )uried deep inside of her

He lay slumped on top of her, !aspin! for )reath, while she Bui"ered and trem)led )eneath him. It felt stran!e, he was

completely naked and she was almost completely dressed. -na)le to mo"e her lower )ody as his powerful le!s wei!hed her

down. "entually he lifted his head, capturin! her mouth in a lon!, lan!uorous kiss, and $aya felt her inner muscles ti!hten and

shudder, another echoin! clima o"ertakin! her.

?Are you ok@ He )reathed a!ainst her mouth.

?I think so. Her "oice was )lurred, unreco!nisa)le.

?I’m sorry, 4od, I was so rou!h 3 a!ain. His head drooped in defeat.

?Don’t. 5he pressed a fin!er a!ainst his lips, ?It was perfect.

He opened his mouth to disa)use her, then closed it. Cuppin! her face instead, he lowered his head and )e!an kissin! her once

more. Deep, dru!!in! kisses that left her Bui"erin! and clin!in! to him, he )e!an to make lo"e to her all o"er a!ain. $aya

closed her eyes, sensin! e"erythin! throu!h a ha=e of lan!uid lust.

?I think it’s time to !et you out of these clothes. He murmured huskily, slidin! his hand down to the =ip of her )oot.

5he didn’t ha"e the stren!th to hold her le! up, not that Rai" needed any assistance. He lifted her )oneless le! and slowly

un=ipped the )oot, throwin! it to the floor* then slowly he )e!an massa!in! her silky3clad foot, sendin! shi"ers of sensual

deli!ht throu!h her )ody.

5he !roaned, shocked at how sensiti"e to his touch her feet could )e.

?<ou like this@ he asked, stron! fin!ers doin! sinful thin!s to her toes.

?-hh Her )ody erked as he pressed his thum) alon! the arch of her foot.

He lau!hed, a sey, knowin! lau!h and slid the ti!hts off )efore un=ippin! the other )oot and allowin! the same attention to her

ri!ht foot. +y now $aya was naked, ecept for the dress )unched a)o"e her )reasts and Rai" worked his way up her )ody,

pressin! his lips to her inner thi!hs, skimmin! o"er her sodden se, )reathin! in the smell of their com)ined uices, )ut not

touchin! her there, e"en when she spread herself in"itin!ly. He was takin! it slow and she forced her )ody to rela, deli!htin! in

each caress, each )rush of his lips. He reached her )reasts, suckin! and )itin! until she )e!an to sBuirm with impatience.

5lowly, as if unwrappin! a !ift, he peeled the dress o"er her head. ;ow she was completely naked a!ainst him, her )ody hot and

liBuid like molten la"a. Her hands )e!an strokin!, pro)in! his )ack, his ti!ht )uttocks and finally, reachin! to close her fist

around his hard, hea"y erection. Rai" !roaned, )ut he didn’t stop her, instead he stretched his )ody co"erin! hers and capturedher mouth a!ain, with hard, consumin! kisses, holdin! her head still with his hands while del"in! with deep, carnal need into

her mouth.

?5weet &esus. He chocked, erkin! his hips a!ainst her ti!ht fist. ?I can’t !et enou!h of you.

$aya wrapped her lon! le!s around him and !uided the )ul)ous head of his manhood to her weepin! core, moanin! softly as his

flesh finally met hers. He made lo"e to her with slow deli)erate strokes, sa"ourin! each thrust, as he )uried himself inside her

o"er and o"er a!ain. $aya’s )ody arched and undulated )eneath him, her hands caressin! his moistened face, liftin! her head

to )ite at his lower lip, feelin! "oluptuous pleasure as he took her slowly, closer and closer towards the ed!e, into mindless

)liss.

CHA#TR T/;T< T/



?4od this wasn’t how I planned for thin!s to !o toni!ht. Rai" was leanin! o"er her, drawin! damp tendrils of hair from her

face.

?$e neither . . . $aya stared at him throu!h drowsy eyes.

He caressed her cheek)ones, re"erently. ?/hat is it a)out us $aya@ /hy are thin!s always so > eplosi"e@ I’"e ne"er eperienced

this )efore.

?<ou ha"en’t@

?;o, not like this.

?/hat a)out > Clara@ 5he frowned, not sure she wanted to know, )ut forcin! herself to continue. ?5urely she satisfied you in

ways that I ne"er could@ 5he seemed so confident > so eperienced.

He )linked, shakin! his head. ?$aya, what I had with Clara was totally different to > us.

5he frowned. ?In what way@

?4od, in e"ery way. He shook his head, damp, dark hair fallin! o"er his face* she stared up at him needin! to know more.

?/hat Clara and I had was more of an > arran!ement > than anythin! else.

?An arran!ement@ That sounded so cold3)looded.

He closed his eyes, leanin! his forehead a!ainst hers. ?/e satisfied each other’s > needs > nothin! more than that really.

The thou!ht of him with Clara was like a physical pain, )ut she needed to know, to understand. ?5urely you had feelin!s for her

> for each other@

There was a lon! silence, )ut she waited it out. ?;o, he )uried his face in the cur"e of her neck. ?There weren’t really any

feelin!s in"ol"ed > ust se.

$aya ran her fin!ers throu!h his damp, silky hair, forcin! herself to persist. ?/hat a)out the others > &ay told me you had >

lo"ers in India as well@

?4od, $aya. He threw himself off her, lyin! on his )ack, co"erin! his eyes with his arm. ?It was different ok@ &ust different to

how it is with you.

5he knew when to let it !o, starin! up at the ornate ceilin!, realisin! she may ne"er understand this comple man and it was

pointless tryin! to anyway.

Afterwards they showered to!ether, in the hu!e, state3of3the3art, mar)le shower3room. Takin! their time, soapin! and caressin!

each other with hot, erotic need. 'nowin! it was comin! to an end and wantin! to drain e"ery ounce of pleasure from their time

to!ether as they possi)ly could.

777777777777777777777777777777777

?Those poor waiters, Rai" licked the succulent uice of the perfectly )aked pheasant off his fin!ers and smiled. ?They’d )e

de"astated if they saw us now.

?/hy@ $aya popped a perfectly roasted )a)y potato into her mouth. ?+ecause we’re eatin! on the floor@

They’d spread the pristine, white ta)le3cloth onto the Au)isson ru! and deposited the different array of dishes onto it, then sat

crossed3le!!ed on silken cushions, eatin! the eceptionally cooked meal as if it were a thali to )e enoyed all at once, rather

than in fi"e different courses.

Rai" !rinned. ?That too. They went to so much trou)le to ser"e up the perfect dinner for two.

?h Rai", why@ 5he was wearin! a dark !reen satin )athro)e, pro"ided )y the hotel, and his eyes were drawn irresisti)ly to

her shadowed clea"a!e.

?+ecause I asked them to. He answered, frankly.

?Really@ Thank you, Ra 3.

He lau!hed, shakin! his head dispara!in!ly. ?I thou!ht I could > impress you, may)e seduce you > with the perfect, romantic

dinner. /ipin! his fin!ers on the damp hand3towel they’d )rou!ht from the shower, he threw it onto the ta)le3cloth. ?I should

ha"e known )etter, huh@

Her )eautiful face, de"oid of all make3up now, )ecame som)re. ?I’m sorry, Ra.

Rai" !a=ed at her, tryin! not to think a)out tomorrow, or the future, or the fact that they would ne"er )e like this a!ain,

sittin!, intimately, enoyin! ust )ein! to!ether. He’d decided earlier, while they were in the shower, that he was !oin! to

make the most of their last few hours. It was pointless !ettin! an!ry and frustrated )y the fact that she couldn’t, or wouldn’t,



continue this affair with him. He’d known, deep down, that she would ne"er a!ree to it, )esides she deser"ed so much more.

5he deser"ed a man who could )e there for her, all the time, !i"in! her all the lo"e and attention in the world* like 6atima’s

father had wanted for his dau!hter. ;ot some messed3up, de!enerate, who could offer her no more than an affair on the side,

hidin! their relationship from his family > his mother and his )rother. /hile his lon!3term plans included marryin! an Indian

woman, who would not set his )lood on fire* a comforta)le, traditional Indian woman, who would )ear him children, children

who would not )e messed3up half3)reeds, torn )etween two cultures as he had )een, as he still now was.

5o, he was !oin! to "alue e"ery moment of this last ni!ht to!ether and tomorrow > tomorrow 3 he’d !o )ack to London and deal

with the torment of not seein! her a!ain. They still had toni!ht and that was all that mattered ri!ht now . . .

?That was a)solutely delicious, Ra. 5he wiped her hands on the damp towel, liftin! her arms, stretchin! and archin! like a

satisfied feline. ?I’m completely stuffed* and the wine, she took a sa"ourin! sip, closin! her eyes and lickin! her lips. ?$mm,

this wine is di"ine.

Rai" smiled indul!ently, he’d chosen the wines carefully, after a lon! discussion with #aulo, in fact each course had )een

carefully chosen* from the Buails e!!s to the stre!a crEme )rulee. And althou!h the dinner hadn’t !one as planned, it felt

perfect to )e sittin! here on the floor, Indian style, eatin! with their hands, enoyin! the food and wine, ust in a different way

from what he’d planned. +ut then thin!s seldom went as planned where $aya was concerned.

Her cat’s eyes were dusky in the soft li!htin!, !i"in! her a soulful look, her hair damp from their shower, clin!in! to her )are

skin where the ro)e !aped wide at her )reasts. ne nipple was peekin! out at him, stirrin! his senses* )lood lea"in! his )rain to

flood his !roin, his )ody hardenin! as always, ready for her. He recalled the last time they’d made lo"e in London, when she’d

straddled herself a)o"e him, takin! control. He’d )een thinkin! a)out it e"er since, )esides the )ruises, of course. It was

somethin! he’d ne"er enoyed or e"en indul!ed in with another woman, )ut with her it had )een incredi)ly ecitin!. "enthou!h his instincts had ur!ed him to roll her o"er and take control, he hadn’t. It had ust )een > too !ood. He wanted her

there, a)o"e him a!ain, wanted to see if it was ust a fluke, a onetime thin!. He needed to know, and the idea of it left him

thro))in! with anticipation.

?Come here, he said.

?/hat@ Her )rows lifted, as she sipped her wine.

?Come o"er here to me.

5he hesitated a moment, then settin! the !lass down she smiled, a sey, feminine smile, and crawled around the mountain of

food to his side of the ru!. He turned to face her, as she reached his side, runnin! his fin!er from her cheek, down her throat to

the eposed nipple peekin! at him. 5he dra!!ed in air as his thum) )rushed at the rose, poutin! pe))le.

?+eautiful. He said, thickly, pushin! the silky ro)e off her shoulder.

5he was kneelin! )efore him, and he spread his le!s, dra!!in! the towel that co"ered him off his hips and pullin! her )etween

his thi!hs, liftin! his hand to thread his fin!ers throu!h her damp hair, twistin! it and holdin! her head ti!ht )efore co"erin! her

mouth in a lon!, sensual kiss. He leaned )ack on his free hand, takin! her with him. Liftin! her hands, she spread them a!ainst

his )road shoulders, while he continued to eplore her mouth with his ton!ue, fistin! his fin!ers into her hair.

?+e careful, the wine3!lass. 5he )reathed a!ainst his lips, and he slid the crystal !lass out of their way, with sweet

anticipation.

The Au)usson ru! was soft a!ainst his )are skin as he lay )ack and pulled her, onto his )ody. Tension ti!htened deep inside him,

his )ody and mind conflicted, wonderin! if he could enoy a woman > this woman > a)o"e him, takin! control. As she slid o"er

him he realised what an erotic feelin! it could )e, ha"in! her spread a)o"e him. It !a"e his hands free rei!n o"er her )ody, and

he took full ad"anta!e, easin! the ro)e off her other shoulder, lea"in! her upper )ody naked and free to his hun!ry !a=e > and

hands.

$aya seemed to )e enoyin! it as much as him. Her warm hands pressed down a!ainst him, she lowered her mouth to his, )ut

unlike him, her kisses were li!ht, teasin!, her lips )rushin! li!htly a!ainst his, until he couldn’t take anymore. Liftin! his head

he captured her mouth with his. His hands were at her )reasts, lo"in! the way they fell forward, lush and in"itin!* he wei!hed

them in his palms, the nipples pokin! pro"ocati"ely into his skin.

?Do you like it like this > on top of me@ He asked, thickly.

+lood was poundin! throu!h his "eins at this new and li)eratin! erotic hi!h. He, who had )elie"ed he’d eperience e"erythin!

seual out there that could him turn him on, was now )ein! sensually su)u!ated )y an innocent, an innocent who was takin!

him places he’d ne"er ima!ined.

?I lo"e it. 5he said, leanin! )ack and trailin! her fin!ers alon! his tense torso. ?Do you@ 5he lifted her hips and Rai" !roaned

as she settled her spread thi!hs directly onto the rid!e of his achin! shaft.

?I think I do too, he choked, needin! her to know what this meant to him. ?/ith you. <ou’re like a !oddess, and I’m your

willin! sla"e. "erloaded )y erotic sensations* his hands roamed from her )reast down south, determined to lose the damn

ro)e so that he could watch her, naked in all her !lory, watch her throu!h !reedy eyes and touch her, e"ery inch of her. Those



tantali=in! hip3)ones, which he cur"ed his hands around now, co"ered )y delicate, soft skin, in"itin! him in )etween them,

where that trian!le of coppery, spun silk awaited him.

?$mm. 5he threw the ro)e to one side, liftin! her arms and threadin! them throu!h her hair, ust like the !oddess he knew she

was. Her cur"ed )ody len!thened and ti!htened. ?To do with as I please.

He sucked in a )reath. /aitin!.

?/hat shall I do with you today@ 5he sounded a little tipsy from the wine, )older than usual, and he wasn’t a)out to complain.

5he ru))ed her moist se a!ainst him, slowly, sinfully, until he felt he would die if he didn’t come. ?Torture you with pleasure@

And she did, )e!innin! with his mouth, teasin! her nipples a!ainst his sucklin!, hun!ry lips while she held his arms )ent a)o"e

his head. Rai" was not sure if this was a punishment or a pleasure he was too turned inside out to comprehend. He’d hoped he

mi!ht enoy it a!ain, )ut he’d had no inklin! of how shatterin! and o"erwhelmin! it could )e. Ha"in! her luuriate in him,

takin! ad"anta!e of her feminine power to seduce him into helpless su)mission.

He was desperate to !et inside her, desperate* )ut when he tried to enter that wet, in"itin! core, she simply lifted herself and

mo"ed downwards, until her )reasts were )rushin!, tormentin! his erection and her lips were teasin! his na"el. 4aspin! for

)reath* he lurched )eneath her, fistin! his fin!ers into her hair , wantin! that warm, tormentin! mouth around his flesh, takin!

him deep, )ut she !ra))ed his wrists* he was too !ood a teacher and her his a"id student, she anchored his wayward hands at

his sides. f course he could ha"e forci)ly taken o"er, )ut that was not what he wanted, he had to allow her this power and

enoy the an!uish, no matter how tempted he was to !ra) her, flip her onto her )ack and hold her down while he dro"e himself

into her so lon! and hard that she didn’t know where she ended and he )e!an.

?$aya. He said hoarsely. ?I can’t stand much more of this.

?h no. 5he ran her hot wet ton!ue alon! the rid!e of his achin! shaft and Rai"’s )ody wrenched in sweet a!ony. ?<ou said

you were my sla"e, remem)er@

His chest was hea"in!, he felt like her sla"e and it was sinful ecstasy.

4a=in! up at him while she teased him with that luscious mouth, Rai" stared into her !la=ed eyes, erotic intimacy pullin! them

close to!ether. 5he seemed fascinated )y his manhood, lickin!, suckin!, caressin!* fascinated )y how it pulsed and umped in

response to her ministrations.

?I lo"e your )ody, she murmured, huskily.

His hips erked up to her torturin! mouth, sweat seepin! from e"ery pore as he )ucked, on the )rink of tum)lin! into or!asm.

?#lease, $aya, ?he )e!!ed. ?I want to come inside you, now

5he smiled, liftin! herself )ack onto him and takin! him in her hand, !uidin! his shaft into her prone )ody and slowly sinkin!

onto him.

Afterwards, she lay splayed o"er him, )oth of them pantin!, sweaty and ehausted. Her hair was spread out o"er his chest,

sensually ticklin! his skin, while his hands roamed from her shoulders, down her )ack and o"er the slopin! rise of her )ackside.

&ust another )enefit, he realised, of ha"in! her on top of him.

?I ne"er enoyed this position with a woman )efore. Rai" confessed, drunk with pleasure.

?Really@ 5he panted, liftin! her hea"y head, a )lissed3out epression on her face.

?<eah. He )reathed in her scent, caressin! her lissome thi!hs, curled around his hips. ?It used to > turn me off.

5he crossed her hands o"er his chest, restin! her chin on them, searchin! his face. ?/hy do you think that was@He lau!hed. ?<ou sound like a therapist, are you !oin! to psycho3analyse me now@

CHA#TR T/;T< THR

$aya sensed an ed!e of wariness in his tone. ?;o, Ra, she pressed her lips to his moist skin. ?I’m not your therapist, I’m your

lo"er > for toni!ht anyway.

He released a lon! si!h, which she felt all alon! her )ody. ?+ut I am curious, she said Buickly, not wantin! to spoil their

intimate mood. ?I mean why would you enoy me )ein! > on top > and not other women@

He stared up at the ceilin!, his roamin! hands sendin! shi"ers up her spine. ?Do you think I ha"en’t asked myself that Buestion@

5ince we first did it in London I’"e )een wonderin! a)out it.

?/ell I’m not eactly the "oice of eperience, she smiled. ?+ut I was under the impression that men lo"ed that > this position.



?I think they do. He cupped her )ottom and her eyes drooped at the sensation of those stron! eplorin! hands. ?And now I

understand why. His hips lifted su!!esti"ely )etween her thi!hs, )ut she wasn’t !oin! to allow him to distract her.

?$ay)e you’re ust too macho and domineerin!. 5he said with a lau!h, )ut she wondered if this was true. 5he knew he wasn’t

macho, )ut he did ha"e a "ery dominant > controllin! 3 streak, she’d )een aware of that from their "ery first meetin!.

?Hey He slapped her )ottom playfully. ?Are you callin! me macho@

5he !i!!led. ?;o, sorry you’re not really macho > I don’t think. His eyes twinkled. ?+ut you can )e "ery domineerin! > e"en

controllin! . . . 5he ended warily.

He si!hed, a!ain and she lo"ed the fact that she could actually feel e"ery sensation of his )ody a!ainst hers. How lucky was she

that he enoyed ha"in! her sprawled on top of him like this@

?<ou’re ri!ht, I am a )it of a control3freak, he hesitated. ?In and out of )ed.

5he kept silent, hopin! he’d say more.

?$ay)e it’s !ot somethin! to do with my childhood . . .

That was a no3)rainer, )ut she wasn’t a)out to say so. ?$ay)e. 5he a!reed, cautiously. ?$ay)e with your father )ein! > the

person that he was. 5he chose her words carefully, not wantin! to insult his father.

?/hat do you know a)out my father@ +esides the fact that he was a total )astard.

?Ra He smiled down at her, takin! the ed!e off his harsh words. ?Actually &ay spoke Buite a lot a)out your father.

?<eah, and I’m sure none of it was !ood. "en thou!h he was lookin! at her, his mind seemed to )e far away.

?5o you think he’s the reason you need to feel in control@ 5he )rou!ht the su)ect )ack to him, wantin! to understand him,

e"en if she wasn’t !oin! to see him a!ain . . .

?<es. His eyes still held that far3away look. ?Directly and indirectly.

?Indirectly@ 5he stroked his masculine, )rown throat with her fin!er. ?In what way@

He )linked, suddenly )ack in the present. ?He sent me to )oardin! school when I was si. $aya )it )ack a !asp of shock,

forcin! her )ody to remain relaed a!ainst his, thou!h the thou!ht of a si year old Rai" )ein! sent off to )oardin! school left

her feelin! physically sick. ?$y mother )e!!ed him not to, &ay wasn’t )orn yet and she was de"astated, )ut he took no notice of

her, and I went off to )oardin! school.

5he wanted to shout in outra!e, )ut forced herself not to. This was a)out him, not her. ?<our poor mother. Her heart went out

to Anna > no wonder she was so close, so protecti"e of her sons > it must ha"e )een hell for her. ;e"er mind what it would ha"e

)een like for a si3year3old. ?How )ad was it@

He lau!hed, a harsh, unpleasant lau!h, which she felt rum)lin! from his chest throu!h to her )reakin! heart. ?/ell I wasn’t

seually a)used, if that’s what you’re thinkin!.

?There are other kinds of a)use )esides seual a)use, Ra. 5he kept her "oice serious, not prepared to tri"ialise, or !loss o"er

what he was tellin! her.

?<eah, well it wasn’t that )ad, $aya. He lifted his hand to stroke her hair, spreadin! it a!ainst his chest with o)"ious pleasure.

?I wasn’t really a)used, ust a )it of > )oardin!3school )ullyin! > that’s all.

$aya swallowed hard, her )ody trem)lin! inside, she kept her )reathin! slow and e"en.

?There were Buite a few Indian )oys in the school, which my mother thou!ht would help. nce a!ain he lau!hed* that

humourless, cynical lau!h. ?+ut I wasn’t fully Indian, nor was I n!lish, so I didn’t fit in really > I was a half3)reed > neither one

nor the other. 5o I had to stand up for myself, which I learned to do. He must ha"e noticed somethin! in her eyes, for he

smiled, a soft reassurin! smile. ?Hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stron!er, ri!ht@

$aya had ne"er a!reed with that particular philosophy, )ut she smiled anyway, smiled and cupped his face in her hands,

pressin! her lips to his and !i"in! him comfort in the one way she knew he would accept it. 5he )e!an makin! lo"e to him all

o"er a!ain.

777777777777777777

"entually they made it )ack to the )edroom and another shower, Rai" soapin! her su)lime )ody, which was now so familiar to

him* he’d come to reco!ni=e e"ery cur"e, e"ery indentation and nuance of her sensual, responsi"e )ody. &ust when he finally

knew her ero!enous =ones 3 like the )ack of her neck, the cur"e of her spine, her earlo)es, which seemed to )e a direct hotline

to her se e"ery time he )it them 3 she was !oin! to lea"e him. Lea"e him for another man to e"entually eplore* to possess.&ust the thou!ht of it made him want to lash out, to howl at the inustice of it.



He soaped her )ack, tryin! to control the a!ony that was eatin! into him, each minute )rin!in! them closer to the end.

5moothin! the soapy suds off her shoulders and )ack, he slid his hand )etween the in"itin! cur"e of her )uttocks, findin! her

swollen se, slick and distended from their prolon!ed lo"emakin!. He knew he should stop, her )ody still unaccustomed to so

much 3 action, )ut he couldn’t !et enou!h of her and the thou!ht of not )ein! with her a!ain only left him cra"in! for more.

5he pressed her hands a!ainst the wall of the shower, archin! her spine, knowin! instincti"ely what he wanted. The spray of

water runnin! down her lon! )ody in ri"lets, which he cau!ht with his ton!ue, lickin! and suckin! at her luscious, wet skin, until

the ur!ency of his needs took o"er and he entered her from )ehind. #oundin! into her as if he could make her his with this

desperate, compulsi"e lo"e3makin!. His hands cuppin! and sBuee=in! her delicious wet )reasts, slidin! down )etween her le!s

to claim and torment her inflamed flesh, while he dro"e into her punishin!ly from )ehind.

6or!ettin! all his !ood intentions, he !ripped her sodden hair and pulled her hair )ack to lick and suck at the water runnin!

down her neck and finally he )it his teeth into her earlo)e, sendin! her writhin! and so))in! o"er the ed!e* his own )ody

erkin! and )uckin!, finally )reakin! loose and eplodin! deep inside of her.

Afterwards he sat her on the lon! mar)led counter and dried her limp )ody, as if she were a child. ?Are you ok@ It seemed he

was fore"er askin! her that Buestion after se. Always promisin! himself he’d !o easy on her and then always losin! control.

?$mm, wonderful. He )reathed deep, watchin! her head droop with ehaustion.

+ein! around her seemed to turn him into some kind of animal. He shook his head, water drippin! onto the mar)le tiles, she’d

)e rid of him soon enou!h. Carryin! her to the )edroom, he lay her !ently down on the mattress, co"erin! her with the soft

cotton sheet.

#ourin! himself a !lass of the full3)odied red wine he’d chosen to!ether with #edro, he went and sat in one of the plush

armchairs facin! the )ed, watchin! her sleep. It reminded him of the first time they’d )een to!ether, when he’d disco"ered she

was a "ir!in. God, the shock of it! How he’d hurt her and then !one into denial, con"incin! himself that she may still )e a "ir!in,

con"incin! himself that he wouldn’t touch her a!ain. He smiled cynically, at least now he’d accepted that he couldn’t )e

anywhere around this woman without losin! control and wantin!, needin! to )e inside her. And he couldn’t ima!ine it e"er

)ein! any other way.

He frowned, recallin! what he’d told her a)out his childhood. It left him feelin! "ulnera)le, eposed* he’d ne"er spoken to

anyone else a)out it )efore, ne"er )een in the least )it tempted to* ecept his mother, she knew that he’d suffered, )ut he’d

ne"er told her so. Always puttin! on a )ra"e front when the holidays were o"er and it was time to !o )ack.

+ut speakin! to $aya had !i"en him insi!ht into why he was this messed3up, distur)ed, control3freak that he was. 5he would

make a !ood psycholo!ist, he realised, feelin! a ridiculous sense of pride. 5he listened, really listened and it )ecame clear to

him why he wanted, needed to )e the dominant one in the )edroom, it was so o)"ious. specially the fact that he only really

enoyed dominatin! white, uropean woman. The Indian kids at the eclusi"e )oardin!3school had ust disdained him, whereas

the n!lish ones had really resented him, resented the fact that he dared to speak and )eha"e like them. +i!!er white, n!lish

)oys, throwin! him to the !round, lau!hin! and humiliatin! him, holdin! him down, while they slapped his face, and punched his

)ody, makin! sure not to lea"e any marks. The pain he could )ear, it was the humiliation that had !ot to him. 5ittin! on his

small )ody, holdin! his hands down and callin! him all sorts of names from a half3)reed )astard to a dirty coolie, who should

ne"er ha"e )een allowed into their presti!ious )oardin!3school. And that was when he’d known he would ne"er )e n!lish,

ne"er wanted to )e n!lish, like his detesta)le father. He would marry an Indian woman and ha"e Indian children, who wouldn’t

e"en need to know a)out their n!lish herita!e. It had )een ust another reason he’d felt relief when his father had died* now

his children would ne"er ha"e to face their white, n!lish low3life of a !randfather. 5oon after his father’s death he’d chan!ed

the company name, much to the distrust and disa!reement of the )oard3mem)ers, he’d chan!ed the name from $addo

International to $addo3&unta International.

He drained the wine from the !lass, rakin! shaky fin!ers throu!h his hair, the memories e"okin! unpleasant emotions that left

him feelin! )etrayed and enra!ed for that little )oy who’d lost his innocence at the hands of )i!!er, older )ullies* who werepro)a)ly ust as misera)le and homesick as he was. ;o wonder he’d ne"er enoyed the pleasures of a woman takin! him, takin!

control. It was there, starin! him in the face all this time. <et he wanted $aya a)o"e him, takin! control, makin! him her sla"e,

and ust thinkin! a)out it made him hard.

Rai" awoke hours later and felt panic rise within him as soon as he realised $aya was not in the )ed )eside him. He !lanced at

the ornate )edside clock. Ten3twenty > in the mornin!@ Had she left without sayin! !ood)ye He heard noises comin! from the

other room and umped out of the )ed. Heart racin!, he strode throu!h the dou)le doors, almost collapsin! with relief.

?/hat are you doin!@ He asked, tryin! not to re"eal the panic pumpin! throu!h his "eins.

77777777777777777777

$aya almost umped out of her skin. ?Rai" 4od, you !a"e me a fri!ht.

He stared at her for a lon! moment, then )linked and ru))ed his eyes.



$aya recalled their first mornin!3after, when he’d found her on the phone in his li"in!3room, he’d )een so an!ry. 5he

strai!htened her spine, ready for another ar!ument. He was naked, ust as he’d )een that mornin!, )ut she was no lon!er the

skittish, innocent, recently de3flowered "ir!in she’d )een then.

?4ood mornin!. 5he said, carefully.

?I thou!ht you’d left. His face was pale )eneath his dark, tanned skin.

?h, Ra 5he went to him, circlin! her arms round his waist and pressin! her cheek to his thumpin! chest. ?I would ne"er

lea"e without sayin! !ood)ye.

He sBuee=ed her ti!ht, strokin! her hair as his )reathin! calmed and she pressed moist kisses alon! his stron!, )rown throat.

?<ou were sleepin! so peacefully, and I didn’t want to distur) you, she whispered a!ainst the scratchy stu))le of his awline.

Her )ones melted as she lifted her head to look at him* with sleepy, hooded eyes, his messy hair fallin! onto his face where

desi!ner stu))le darkened his aw and surrounded his sensual mouth, she wanted to press her lips to e"ery inch of that harsh,

yet "ulnera)le face.

He !lanced )ehind her and frowned. ?/hat are you doin!, $aya@

5he shru!!ed her slim shoulders. ?I was ust cleanin! up a little.

He shook his head and she lifted her hand to thread his hair from his forehead. ?/hy on earth > $aya this is a hotel > the staff is

paid to clean the rooms, it’s their o) 3 not yours.

?I know, she )it into her )ottom lip. ?+ut they went to so much trou)le > and I don’t want them to know we ended up eatin!

their !ourmet dinner on the floor.

He lau!hed, a husky, sey lau!h that weakened her lim)s. ?<ou’re cra=y, you know that@ I’ll make sure to tip them !enerously

and I’m sure they won’t care where we ate their delicious, gourmet food.

5he disa!reed with what his way of thinkin!, )ut kept it to herself. ?/ell I’m almost done. 5he turned to look at the dishes

neatly stacked on the trolley and the ta)le3cloth now co"erin! the o"al, antiBue dinin!3ta)le.

He slid his arms around her from )ehind, pullin! her )ack a!ainst the hard, warm wall of his )ody. ?There’s a Do Not Disturb

si!h on the door, so you don’t need to worry a)out any staff comin! in and seein! the results of our )ad )eha"iour ust yet.

/ell, he )uried his face hair, tum)led and messy around her shoulders. ?/hy don’t we !o )ack to )ed, hmm@

?Ra, she leaned into the heat of his masculine torso, sweet, lan!uor in"adin! her )ody as his )old, erection pressed into her

)ottom. ?<ou’re insatia)le, do you know that@

?I think you may ha"e mentioned it )efore. He murmured thickly, slidin! his hand into the ro)e she was wearin! and cuppin!

her )reast. ?<ou feel like hea"en and I want some of it, I need it, now.

?Let me ust finish sortin! this out. $aya co"ered his other hand )efore it reached its destination, )etween her le!s.

?Hush. In one swoopin! mo"e he lifted her into his arms and carried her into the )edroom.

CHA#TR T/;T< 6-R

$aya stared at the )edside clock, almost twel"e o’ clock. The curtains were still drawn, ust the )edside3lamp on, lea"in! herfeelin! like they were cucooned in their own little uni"erse, )ut the world outside was still tickin! o"er > and soon she would

ha"e to lea"e.

After carryin! her into the )edroom, Rai" had taken his time makin! lon!, la=y lo"e to her, layin! )ack and allowin! her to

straddle his thi!hs and do eactly what she wanted with him. This was as new to him as it was to her, which had !i"en her an

etra )oost of confidence and she’d taken full ad"anta!e of it. Lo"in! the way his eyes !littered with new3found desire as she

teased and tormented him, e"en !oin! as far as to touch and caress herself when she saw how cra=y it dro"e him, so cra=y that

he’d finally flipped her onto her )ack and dri"en into her with uncontrolled passion, lea"in! her drenched in pleasure and

feelin! like a wild temptress, ust )ecomin! aware of her own power to please him and herself . . .

Rai" was do=in! )eside her, one hand restin! on her )elly, his le! thrown o"er hers, holdin! her close )etween his thi!hs. 5he

si!hed hea"ily, a hollow feelin!, which wasn’t hun!er, settlin! )eneath his warm hand, deep inside of her. 5he needed to !et

up, ha"e a shower and !et ready to lea"e. Their time in this sweet, sultry little uni"erse was a)out to come to an end. 5hiftin!

herself slowly, she tried not to wake him up.

?/here are you !oin!@ He lifted his head, eyes )lue and alert.



Damn, she’d hoped she could ha"e her shower )efore wakin! him. ?I need to shower, Ra. Hesitant, loathe to )rin! up the

su)ect, she forced herself to mo"e* his !rip ti!htened. ?I need to start !ettin! ready. It’s !ettin! late 3.

Her eyes widened as he swore crudely. It still surprised her when he did that, )ut she knew he only swore when he was really

an!ry > or upset.

?Is it )ecause of the )ruises > )ecause of the > rou!h se, is that why you don’t want me anymore@

?f course not <ou know I lo"e how you > make me feel, she finished lamely. 5till too shy to put into words the fact that she

lo"ed it when he )ecame wild and lost control durin! se.

Desperate eyes searched her face. ?It’s &ay, isn’t it* he’s warned you a!ainst > )ein! with me@

?&ay@ $aya frowned up at him. ?&ay doesn’t know a)out us, does he@

?;o, He shut his eyes, shakin! his head.

?Then what are you talkin! a)out@

?It’s ust > I know he wouldn’t appro"e. $y intentions not )ein! honoura)le and all that.

?How do you mean@

?<ou know > the fact that I can’t offer you > marria!e . . . That e"entually I’m !oin! to marry an Indian woman.

Her heart tore. ?I told you I don’t want marria!e

?Then why /hy don’t you want to )e with me@

$aya dra!!ed herself away from him, out of the )ed, pullin! on the ro)e, which was strewn across the )ottom of the )ed, and

tyin! it with trem)lin! hands. ?+ecause if I stay with you I’ll end up !ettin! my heart )roken, that’s why. There, she’d said it,

to herself and to him, finally.

He sat forward* knees )ent, and raked )oth hands throu!h his hair, pullin! at it with ti!htened fin!ers. He seemed at a loss for

words for a chan!e, and $aya walked towards the en suite )athroom, una)le to face him any lon!er.

?/ait

5he turned round slowly, starin! at a point a)o"e his head.

?<ou said you didn’t want marria!e. The words were torn from him. ?<ou said you didn’t e"en )elie"e in marria!e. 5o what is

it you want from me@ Tell me what to do.

5he shook her head in defeat, not knowin! the answer herself. ?I ust want > need > to !et on with my life, Rai". 5he said,

finally. ?This affair was not meant to last, it’s )een cra=y and > wonderful > )ut its run its course. It needs to end, now, today.

/e )oth ha"e to !et on with our li"es, I start workin! tomorrow. I’"e told you this )efore and you know I’m ri!ht* we can’t

always !et what we want. 5o please, finally she lowered her !a=e and stared into his despairin!, )eautiful )lue eyes. ?Let’s not

end this )adly, I couldn’t )ear that, let’s )eha"e like sensi)le, responsi)le people and say !ood)ye without any animosity or

recriminations. Let’s wish each other well and !o our separate ways.

Rai" was not in the )edroom when $aya returned from her shower, )ut she could hear him talkin! in the main room, and

wasn’t sure if he was on the phone or with someone. 5he was dryin! her hair with the powerful, hotel hairdryer when he

entered, closin! the door )ehind him.

$aya switched off the hairdryer. ?The cleanin! staff is here. There was a !uarded, almost formal tone to his "oice. ?Can I

order you some )runch, you must )e hun!ry.

The thou!ht of food left her feelin! ill and she felt mean refusin! his offer, )ut she had to prepare for work tomorrow and it was

!ettin! late. ?Thank you, Rai", )ut I’m really not hun!ry. 5he looked into his !ra"e, )lue eyes, not wantin! any pretence

)etween them. ?I ust couldn’t eat anythin! ri!ht now.

He’d put on a pair of faded )lue eans with an Indian collarless shirt open half3way down his dark3skinned chest and $aya’s

heart melted. He still hadn’t sha"ed, his hair was messy from their lo"e3makin! and it was hard to )elie"e she would not )e

seein! this !or!eous creature, who still wanted her, a!ain.

?Coffee@ He raised his dark )rows, hopefully.

$aya smiled, tryin! to keep thin!s up)eat. ?Coffee would )e lo"ely, thank you.

He left the room, ea!er for somethin! to do.

+y the time she left the )edroom, $aya’s hair was dry and she was dressed. Althou!h she felt o"er3dressed for daytime, she was

simply too num) to care. Her acket was in the main room, )ut it was warm and comforta)le enou!h without it. 4a=in!

lon!in!ly at the stately )edroom and tum)led )ed for the last time, she entered the main room with as much calm as she could

muster.



+esides the coffee, there were warm croissants, )owls of curly )utter, a selection of cheeses as well as marmalade and

conser"es, all set out on the coffee3ta)le. Rai" stood up, takin! her hand and drawin! her to sit )eside him on the dark, leather

chesterfield.

He passed her a lar!e cup of, frothy coffee. ?#lease eat somethin!, $aya. He said. ?It’s after one and you ha"en’t eaten since

last ni!ht.

?k. 5he smiled, surprised that the mouth3waterin! smell of freshly )aked croissants left her feelin! like she could eat a little.

The coffee was delicious, as was the croissant, which she had with !rated cheddar cheese. 5omehow her mood had lifted andshe wasn’t a)out to Buestion it.

?5o you’re startin! work tomorrow. He said, as she )it into the warm, flaky croissant.

?<es, and I’m a )it ner"ous a)out it, she admitted, o"erly aware that she needed to lea"e soon.

?They’re lucky to ha"e you, $aya. His eyes were serious. ?+elie"e me, as an employer I know you’ll ecel at whate"er you put

your mind to.

He sounded so earnest that she almost )elie"ed him, she was passionate a)out this o) and she would put e"erythin! into it.

?Thank you, Ra, as someone who employs, she paused, rollin! her eyes. ?Thousands of people, your )elief in me means a lot.

Rai" drank three cups of coffee and watched indul!ently while she finished off what was on her plate. They spoke of

unimportant thin!s, like this hotel that he’d stayed at )efore, and his pre"ious "isits to din)ur!h. He’d "isited Buite a few

times while &ay was studyin! here, which surprised her. To think that he’d )een here, a twenty minute walk from her home,may)e they’d e"en passed each other on the streets of din)ur!h. He caressed her with his eyes and pulled her hair )ack so that

he could watch her while she ate, )rushin! a crum) from the corner of her mouth and lickin! it off his fin!er. It was all "ery

intimate, )ut e"entually had to come to an end. 5he couldn’t continue to stall any lon!er.

?Do you )elie"e in lo"e@ $aya almost dropped the coffee cup. ?I mean being in love, like 5anay and 'urt.

5he set the cup down, her insides )e!innin! to Buake. ?I don’t know, she lied. ?I )elie"e in lo"e* lo"in! my mother > my father,

lo"in! my friends. 5he paused, takin! a )reath. ?Do you@

He scratched his head, frownin!. ?I don’t think so, I ne"er ha"e, really. He answered, thou!htfully. ?Like you said* I lo"e my

mother and my )rother, )ut 5anay keeps talkin! a)out soul-mates.” His mouth flattened. ?I don’t know. He didn’t sound

con"inced.

?5o what a)out &ay and 'urt@ 5he had to know. ?<ou don’t think they’re in lo"e.

?h, they’re in lust.” His smile was knowin!, su!!esti"e. ?Like teena!ers. +ut I think that will e"entually fade.

And us, are we in lust? $aya clenched her teeth, he sounded so cynical. ?Are you sayin! you think they’ll e"entually )reak3up@

He seemed to suddenly realise what he was sayin!, and shook his head. ?/ho knows, anythin!’s possi)le, ri!ht@

5he kept Buiet, too distur)ed to answer.

?I think my !randparents really lo"ed each other. He continued, and $aya stared at him in surprise. He’d ne"er mentioned his

!randparents )efore. ?$y maternal !randparents, he clarified. ?They always seemed so happy, content with other.

?Are they still ali"e@

?$y !randmother is. He answered. ?$y !randfather died not lon! after my father* she was de"astated, my !randmother, when

he died. And yet theirs was an arran!ed marria!e, they hardly knew each other, and they were so youn!. I think she was a)out

fifteen when they married.

?6ifteen $aya knew this must ha"e )een a lon! time a!o, )ut still > fifteen.

He smiled at her shocked out)urst. ?That was the norm in those days, and it’s still Buite common today. ;ot that I a!ree with

it. He reached out and stroked her stockin!3clad le!, ust )elow the hem of her dress. ?+ut they were the happiest couple I’"e

e"er seen and they were married for a)out > fifty years.

5he co"ered his hand when his fin!ers )e!an makin! their way )eneath the dress. ?5o where is she now@

He smiled at her di"ertin! tactics. ?5he li"es in Delhi, a )eautiful, colonial house in ld Delhi. I try to see her whene"er I tra"el

to India His epression chan!ed. ?<ou’d really like her, she’s a "ery specially lady.

777777777777777777777

It was after two )y the time she was ready to lea"e. Their con"ersation a)out lo"e and his !randmother had distur)ed her, )ut

she didn’t want to !o there, she would process it once she was home alone. 5he located her small, slin! )a! while Rai" spoke in



another lan!ua!e to someone on his phone, in the )edroom. It sounded like )usiness and, e"entually he ended the call and

eited the )edroom, )arefoot, )ut with the same eans and shirt, now )uttoned almost to the top.

He looked stunned at the si!ht of her standin! there with her acket on and her )a! o"er her shoulder. ?<ou need to lea"e

now@

5he was twitchy, filled with aniety, needin! to !et this o"er and done as Buickly as possi)le. ?I’m startin! a new o) tomorrow,

Ra. I need to !o home and > !et my head to!ether.

His look of defeat was almost too much to )ear. ?k, let me ust !et my acket.

?<ou don’t ha"e to come down with me. 5he’d )een epectin! him to say !ood)ye here at the door and now he was prolon!in!

it, $aya )reathed deeply, desperate to !et away. ?Really, Ra, let’s ust say !ood)ye here.

He turned at the )edroom doors. ?I’m walkin! you home, $aya. His eyes were shuttered. ?Don’t worry I’m not askin! you to

in"ite me in, I ust want to walk with you.

$aya forced herself to control the a!itation of wantin! to escape, takin! lon! deep )reaths while he went to !et his acket, and

)y the time he returned, wearin! a leather acket, un=ipped and lookin! ru!!edly sey, all she could do was !a=e at this

!or!eous male, and wonder if she was cra=y to refuse him.

?/hat@ He !ra))ed his phone and slid it into his pocket. ?<ou don’t want me to walk you@ /ell tou!h, cause I’m !oin! to.

5he swallowed, suddenly relie"ed that she didn’t ha"e to say !ood)ye ri!ht now, she wanted to look at him a little more. ?;o,

she shook her head. ?I want you to walk me home.

He eyed her suspiciously, then nodded, openin! the door. ?<ou sure you ha"e e"erythin!@

The walk from the hotel was accomplished mainly in silence. It was a dreary day, )ut when Rai" put his arm around her

shoulder and she slid hers )eneath his acket, the warmth of his )ody made her feel like the sun was shinin!, )ut it was a

poi!nant pleasure.

He asked her how lon! she’d li"ed in the area and she told him* most of her life, pointin! out the park where she played as a

child, and the house where the scary old man li"ed. Ama=ed that he was interested in such tri"ialities of her life, )ut he was,

!a=in! around him with real curiosity and interest.

6inally, they reached the )ottom3floor, the red door leadin! up to her flat. 5he pulled her keys out, turnin! to face him. ?Thank

you for a > really special e"enin!, Rai".

He cupped the )ack of her neck, )eneath her hair, and )reathin! her in, he )rou!ht his mouth down to hers in a deep, lon!in!kiss. $aya clun! to his acket, then let !o as soon as the kiss ended.

?4ood)ye, $aya. He said, waitin! for her to open the door.

5he mana!ed, despite her shakin! fin!ers. ?4ood)ye, Ra. 5he tried to smile, closin! the door too Buickly, as tears filled her

eyes.

+y the time she reached her )edroom the tears were streamin! down her face and she threw herself down onto her )ed,

thankin! 4od that &osie wasn’t there. 5he thou!ht a)out what Rai" had said a)out lo"e, forcin! herself to accept that the man

did not )elie"e in lo"e. And if what she was feelin! now had anythin! to do with lo"e, she wanted none of it. Curlin! up like a

wounded animal, $aya so))ed, the pain eatin! into her stomach and chest, makin! it difficult to )reathe.

A lon! time later she found the tissues, clearin! her )locked nose and swollen eyes. Takin! a deep )reath, she turned o"er and

stared at the ceilin!, she had to decide what to wear to work tomorrow.

77777777777777777777777777

Rai" walked away from her )uildin!, lookin! up at the o"ercast sky, tryin! to ima!ine his life without $aya in it. He searched

for somethin! !ood, positi"e to hold onto, )ut there was nothin!. ;ot e"en the reminder of his )rother’s new3found happiness

could lift his mood. He clenched his fists in his pockets, recallin! the first time he’d met her at the train station, when he’d

)elie"ed nothin! could make him happier than seein! his )rother reco"ered from that dark, depression 3 )ut he’d )een wron!.

Ri!ht now nothin! seemed to matter. &ust like the !rey sky a)o"e him, there was no si!n of sunli!ht to )e seen.

nd of +ook ne

7777777777777

#re"iew

f



+ook Two

#A55I; A;D D;IAL

?Can you !et that, $aya, &osie shouted from her )edroom. ?It’s pro)a)ly $a!s* she’s workin! the same shift as me today.

$aya left the assessment forms she’d )rou!ht home from work on the coffee3ta)le and went to answer the door. &osie worked

as a )armaid3cum3waitress at The #ool Loun!e ust off #rincess 5treet, which )rou!ht in an etra income, while she )uilt up herewellery3desi!n )usiness.

$aya went to open the door, )ut it wasn’t $a!s on the other side. It was the last person in the world she would ha"e epected

to see.

?Hi. Rai" said

$aya was dum)founded* he was standin! in the doorway starin! at her throu!h tired, red3rimmed eyes.

?Rai", what > what are you doin! here@

?I’m sorry, ha"e I come at a )ad time@ He asked, leanin! one arm a!ainst the door3frame.

He’d cut his hair, she noticed. His )eautiful, silky hair was now )u==3cut, army style short, !i"in! his )eautiful face an almost

)rutal ed!e.

?;o, she said automatically. ?I was ust > um !oin! o"er some stuff from work. #lease, come in.

5he stepped aside, heart racin!, and allowed him to enter the lar!e, main room of the flat. Rai" looked around with enBuirin!

eyes, lea"in! $aya feelin! relie"ed that the place looked reasona)ly tidy. It was 5aturday, so &osie and her had done some

cleanin! this mornin!.

5he closed the door as he turned round to face her. His white shirt was creased, un)uttoned almost to his chest, han!in! out

o"er tailored )lack trousers. 5he couldn’t help starin!* she’d ne"er seen the ur)ane, sophisticated Rai" lookin! so much the

worse for wear )efore.

?/hat happened to your lip, Rai"@ There was a dark cut near the middle of his sensual )ottom lip.

?$aya > what . . .@ &osie entered the room, dressed all in )lack, starin! from her to Rai" then )ack a!ain, pu==led concern

"isi)le on her appealin! face.

?5orry, &osie, it wasn’t $a!s, $aya ust mana!ed to keep her "oice steady. ?Rai", this is my flatmate &osie, &osie this is &ay’s

)rother, Rai".

?h > really. &osie’s epression cooled as she looked him up and down. ?How do you do. 5he mo"ed forward, holdin! out her

hand, reluctantly.

Rai"’s mouth twisted into a sem)lance of a smile, the cut on his lip lookin! sore and swollen. ?It’s nice to finally meet you,

&osie, his tone was almost formal as he shook her hand and &osie frowned, o)"iously ha"in! noticed the creased shirt, the cut

on his lip. ?I do apolo!i=e for turnin! up here unannounced.

&osie looked perpleed, his scruffy appearance contrastin! with his formal Indian manners. ?That’s ok, she mum)led, !i"in!

$aya a loaded look from the corner of her eye. ?I’m ust on my way out to work anyway.

?I see. Rai" said, and $aya’s stomach knotted. ?$aya, could I use your )athroom, please. He ran his fin!ers throu!h his short

hair. ?/e ust dro"e up from London > and I need to freshen up.

?f course. 5he was tempted to take him to her en suite )athroom, )ut &osie’s watchful !a=e deterred her. ?It’s ust throu!h

that door at the end of the passa!e.

He ecused himself and made his way down the passa!e.

?/hat the hell is he doin! here@ &osie fumed as soon as the )athroom door closed.

?5hh, &osie, please. This is hard enou!h as it is.

?I can ima!ine* the )astard ust oo=es se, doesn’t he@

?&osie > don’t > don’t call him that

?$aya, her friend clasped )oth her hands. ?4et him out of here. I don’t know what the hell he’s doin! here > actually I knoweactly what he’s doin! here. 5he had that look on her face that $aya knew too well. ?$ay)e I should phone in sick* I don’t

like the idea of you here alone with him. The man’s dan!erous, you can see it from a mile, you’re !onna need )ack3up.

?;o It was cra=y, )ut she didn’t want &osie here with them. ?It’s 5aturday, they’ll fire you if you take another a sickie.



?Damn, you’re ri!ht, 4ordon will not )e happy. 5he dra!!ed her fin!ers throu!h her spiky )lack hair. ?<ou ha"e to !et rid of

him, $aya, or the shit’s !onna hit the fan

?&osie, he’ll hear you

?I don’t !i"e a > damn. 5he stared at $aya defiantly and they )oth umped as someone knocked hard at the door, a!ain.

It was $a!s, leanin! a!ainst the door3frame, out of )reath. ?<our )loody intercom’s not workin!, she !asped. ?4od I’m so

unfit.

?5orry, $a!s. $aya tried not to let the relief she was feelin! show. ?/e reported it o"er a week a!o.

?5’ok, she strai!htened up catchin! her )reath. ?Come on, &osie, we’re !onna )e late.

&osie stared at $aya, frustration oo=in! from e"ery pore.

?/hat@ $a!s sounded impatient.

?;othin!. &ust let me !ra) my )a! and we’ll !et !oin!.

$aya )reathed a si!h of relief as the door finally closed )ehind them. Ha"in! &osie around eudin! her disappro"al would ha"e

ust made thin!s more difficult than they already were.

Hearin! the door close and Rai" returnin!, $aya made her way round the counter into the kitchen, needin! to put some space

)etween them.

?/ould you like a coffee@ 5he asked, )usyin! herself with the kettle, a"oidin! his eyes. ?I’m afraid I don’t ha"e anythin!

alcoholic to offer you.

?Coffee would )e !reat, thanks. He walked towards the lon! windows, which looked out onto the rooftops and the ocean in the

distance. ?The "iew is )eautiful from up here* it’s a lo"ely apartment, $aya. Different from what I ima!ined.

5he wanted to ask what he’d ima!ined, )ut decided to let it !o. Locatin! some !round coffee at the )ack of the cup)oard she

)reathed a si!h of relief. &ose and her seldom )othered with anythin! other than instant, which should )e !ood enou!h for him

seein! as he’d turned up unannounced > like a bad enn > &osie would ha"e said, )ut she had the !round coffee so she may as

well use it.

He had turned to !a=e at her, his eyes takin! in her faded, )lack yo!a pants, lon!3slee"ed white T3shirt and slipper3socks. ?<ou

look 3 nice.

Nice? /ithout a scrap of make3up on and her hair tied )ack in a pony3tail, she would hardly descri)e the way she looked as nice.

5he spooned the coffee into the cafetier, then !a=ed )ack at him with all the confidence she could muster. ?And you look pretty

rou!h yourself. Crossin! her arms o"er her )raless )reasts where his eyes were restin!, she continued. ?/hat’s !oin! on, Rai",

what are you doin! here in din)ur!h > and what happened to your lip. Did you !et into a fi!ht > or somethin!@

There it was out, now would he tell her what the hell was !oin! on@ Then she noticed his left hand > his knuckles and fin!ers

were )anda!ed and co"ered in some kind of see3throu!h cast. Dear 4od, $aya felt ill in her stomach, what had happened to

him@ His )eautiful hands, those lon!, sensual fin!ers > were they permanently dama!ed@

5he stared at him with wide, anious eyes. ?/hat’s !oin! on, Rai"@

His !a=e followed hers, drawin! in a deep )reath, he ran !ood hand o"er his )rush3cut, )efore sho"in! them )oth into the

pockets of his trousers. ?5anay and I !ot into an ar!ument, which turned into > a )it of a scuffle . . .

?h 4od, is he alri!ht@ &ay was, like the least "iolent person she knew. ?<our hand Don’t tell me you hit him@

?;o, I did not hit him, he hit me, hence the cut lip. His ton!ue snaked out to eplore his tender )ottom lip.

?+ut your hand 3@

?I punched the wall. He released a lon! si!h. ?I’d ne"er hit my little )rother, no matter how tempted I was.

?h 4od. Her arms mo"ed from her )reasts to circle her hollowed stomach, the thou!ht of Rai" and &ay resortin! to "iolence

left her feelin! sick. ?/hat on earth )rou!ht that on@

?<ou. /hat else@

?$e

He nodded, hands still in his pockets, he made his way towards the kitchen sink and rested his hips a!ainst it. Too close for

comfort. ?He found out that you’d stayed at my apartment while he was in hospital. Hooded eyes watched her rock slowly )ackand forth, her arms still wrapped around her. ?Don’t distress yourself, $aya, it’s me his furious with, not you.

5he swallowed, tryin! to take it all in. ?How > how did he find out@



He shru!!ed, dismissi"ely. ?I think it was $rs Tra"is, must ha"e slipped out in con"ersation. 5he’s not the type to deli)erately

cause trou)le He looked so tired, so worn out that $aya was tempted to !o o"er and put her arms around him, )ut she stopped

herself. ?It’s no )i! deal* I assured him it was o"er )etween us.

It was a )i! deal* she would ne"er want to come )etween Rai" and &ay. They’d )een doin! so well since Rai" had found out

a)out 'urt. 5he’d )een so happy for all of them > and now this. ?Is that why you came here, to din)ur!h, to eplain what

happened@

Rai" shook his head, silent for a lon! moment. ?After the ar!ument last ni!ht in 'ni!hts)rid!e, I proceeded to !et motherless,

while 'urt listened to me wallowin! in pathetic self3pity. He stared down at the floor, pullin! his hands from his pockets andfin!erin! the plastic cast with his !ood hand. ?+ial was supposed to take me )ack to my apartment, )ut in my drunken state, I

insisted he dri"e me up here to see you. He lifted his head to stare at the ceilin!. ?He’s not "ery happy with me either. I

passed out in the )ack of the car > only woke up when we reached the outskirts of din)ur!h.

?5o where is he now > +ial@

?I told him to drop me here and )ook us into +almoral. Hopefully he’s sleepin! off some of his resentment ri!ht now.

$aya did not know what to say. Her mind was spinnin! with thou!hts of &ay, what he must think of her@ And $rs Tra"is@ Dear

4od 5hame suffused her )ody and she turned her )ack on him > her nemesis, her weakness . . . 5he !ripped the ed!e of the

counter, hidin! her face with her hair.

5he heard him mo"e, then his arms were around her, )uryin! his face in the side of her neck, and pathetic as she was, she felt

that familiar lon!in! pulse throu!h her )ody. /hy did she feel safe in his arms@ This sensual weakness makin! her for!et that he

was the cause of all her shame, all her trou)les.

?4od, $aya, his )reath was warm a!ainst her skin. ?I’m sorry* I promised I’d stay away from you. Christ, what a mess. I’"e

tried to keep away, )elie"e me. I would ne"er ha"e turned like this, in this state 3. +ut after last ni!ht, the thin!s &ay said to

me. I ust didn’t care. If e"eryone )elie"es I’m such a > screw3up, then why should I disappoint them@

7777777777777777777777

passion-and-deceit-part-vi.pdf

Documents