Parenting For School Success

A Guide For Parents

Based on research and tools prepared by the

University of Minnesota Extension

Children, Youth & Family Consortium

Introduction

This presentation addresses six constructs in working with

parents. The constructs provided is based on research,

dialogue with parents, teachers, and others about the role

of parents in their child’s education and lifelong success.

Parents are the first and continuing teachers in their child’s

education. Children are better served and achieve more

when districts, schools and educators work in partnership.

Parenting For School Success

• EXPECTATIONS

• STRUCTURE

• LEARNING

• SUPPORT

• RELATIONSHIPS

• MODELING

Expectations

Children at any age: Explain why school is important

Expect your children to go to school

Look ahead – talk with your children about what the

teacher expects

Set Clear consistent rules about schoolwork and

behavior

Expectations:Families with Preschoolers

Your preschooler is learning rapidly. Be patient and commit to

being their first teacher.

Teach respect. Talk to your children about how you expect them

to behave.

Read regularly to your preschooler and introduce them to

books/the library and appropriate media.

Provide clear and direct instructions to your preschooler.

Expectations: Families withElementary students

Look over homework- ask questions and give helpful

feedback

Teach respect. Talk to your children about how you expect

them to behave

Read regularly. Know that your child is reading

Watch for stress signs. Children who feel stressed or

overloaded may cry easily, tire quickly or dawdle.

Expectations: Families withSecondary students

Parents matter. Your opinion is still important

Encourage challenging choices. Talk with your teen about

how classes relate to life decisions.

Make studying a priority. Watch the number of activities or

jobs- they can get in the way

Move beyond grades. Effort and attitude are important

Watch for too much stress. Too much extra..

Group discussion on

Expectations

• How do you define expectations for your student?

• Are you able to have on going discussions with your student about expectations?

• What has worked in your family about sharing expectations?

Structure

Children at any age: Make sure children eat breakfast. Participate in regular family meal times. Limit time on videos/television/media. Pay attention. Be familiar with your child’s school schedule. Ask for a language interpreter. Have a scheduling strategy. Example calendar Children need an adequate amount of sleep.

Structure: Families withPreschoolers

Follow a schedule – Importance of a daily routine.

Record development and learning milestones. Keep progress

reports from teachers and other assessments.

Let children be children – Don’t over schedule your child’s life.

Allow time for play, day dreaming and exploration.

Be prepared to answer questions, to listen , to guide and to

encourage.

Structure: Families withElementary students

Follow a schedule – Importance of a daily routine

Make room for learning – Have a special place for

homework

Let children be children – Don’t over schedule your child’s

life. Allow time for play, day dreaming and exploration

Structure: Families withSecondary students

Be there. Try to have at least one parent or supervising

adult available to your child

Encourage teens to improve their organizational skills.

Teach them to use a planner or keep a calendar of events

Support teens in looking ahead.

Encourage teens to focus when working at a difficult task.

Group discussion onStructure

• What are some of the hindrances to developing structure in

the home?

• Share a strategy that has been helpful in overcoming those

hindrances?

• What value do you place on structure in the home?

Learning

Children at any age: Encourage children to think of school as their job. Help children with their homework, but don’t do it

for them. Assist children in learning online. Involve your children in family discussions. Look for ways to learn from what your community

offers. Play games together.

Learning: Families with Preschoolers

Give them lots of opportunities with work with their

hands.

Explain boundaries and rules.

Turn everyday household chores into learning

experiences.

Talk with your child often.

Learning: for parents of Preschoolers

Read often to your child

Play stimulates learning. Allow your preschooler to play

often.

Go places and do things.

Present opportunities for social and emotional needs to

be met, through various interactions and situations.

Learning: Families withElementary students

Pay attention to requests from teachers. Turn everyday household chores into learning

experiences. Talk with your child often. Read to your child and listen to your child

read. Discuss allowances. Go places and do things together.

Learning: Families withSecondary students

Talk with your teens. (learning how to listen)

Encourage your children to get involved in the

community.

Assist teens in learning how to manage money.

Teach life skills

Group discussion onLearning

• What are some of the ways you have overcome

challenges to learning?

• Name some tools that you have received, invested or

utilized to help overcome challenges to learning.

Support

Children at any age: Pay attention to what children are doing and

learning at school. Be there. Attend school activities and volunteer

when you can. Communicate with teachers. Focus on solutions. All children develop and learn in their own way.

Support: Families with Preschoolers

Praise your children every day. Effective praise recognizes the child’s

effort not just success. Effective praise is immediate and is about the

task. Don’t wait until the report card comes.

Be aware of special needs. If you suspect your child has a special

need, begin by talking to school staff. You may need to go beyond the

school to find help.

Participate in your child’s learning. No matter how well you read or

what your first language is, be involved in your child’s learning.

Support: Families withElementary students

Praise your children every day. Effective praise recognizes the child’s

effort not just success. Effective praise is immediate and is about the

task. Don’t wait until the report card comes.

Be aware of special needs. If you suspect your child has a special

need, begin by talking to school staff. You may need to go beyond the

school to find help.

Participate in your child’s learning. No matter how well you read or what

your first language is, be involved in your child’s learning.

Support : Families with Secondary students

Help plan educational programs. Get involved with your

teen as he or she decides what courses to take. Find

out what courses are available and which are needed

for future plans after graduation.

Talk with your teens about their future plans. Advise and

guide them toward choices that will help those plans

become a reality.

Group discussion onSupport

• How does support look like in your family?

• Identify support you have received from family,

community and/or school.

• Share a time when your student/child needed support.

Relationships

Children at any age:

Express acceptance: Let your children know that you always love

them! Reinforce good behavior.

Catch your child being good. Make a big deal of it.

Listen carefully. Put down newspaper and turn off the TV when your

child talks to you. Don’t interrupt.

Show affection. Children need to feel your love for them.

Relationships

Children at any age:

Ask feeling questions. Encourage your child to express their feelings.

Be aware of the climate at school. Is it warm and inviting? Is there

both structure to keep children safe and freedom to grow?

Stand up for your children when concerns arise. Help them resolve

conflict and find peaceful solutions to problems.

Relationships: For parents of Preschoolers

Create safe and peaceful places. Encourage play dates with

peers, neighbors, family members and other safe people.

Children need to feel good about themselves. Help them

build on their strengths and understand their limitations.

Praise what you child does well. For example, “Great Job!

You did an awesome job!

Relationships: Families withElementary students

Create safe and peaceful places. Encourage your schools

to require safe, respectful behavior. Offer to work together

on this goal.

Children need to feel good about themselves. Help them

build on their strengths and understand their limitations.

Praise what you child does well. For example, “Great! You

finished your homework. Now you can go play”.

Relationships : Families withSecondary students

Be ready to talk. Be ready to listen when your teen talks.

Be involved in your teen’s life. Know what’s going on with

his or her friends and interests.

Teens still need hugs. Teens need affection, but they are

sensitive to what others think. They may not want the

affection displayed in front of friends.

Group discussion onRelationships

• What are some relational building activities in your family?

• What are some of the challenges in developing

relationships?

• Love Languages and Listening skills- discuss

Modeling

Children at any age:

Experience other cultures.

Share and explain your experiences, values and

beliefs.

Every day show how learning is important and used in

everyday life.

Find opportunities to be a leader in your community.

Modeling

Children at any age:

Be involved in community service.

Handle difficult situations in constructive ways.

Positive parenting helps children succeed.

Admit when you are wrong.

Learn a language other than English.

Modeling: Families with Preschoolers

Behave the way you want your children to behave. Talk calmly,

show concern for others and listen respectfully to your children.

Demonstrate the skill. Allow them to participate in simple activities

with you; shopping, cooking, baking, folding laundry.

Solve problems step by step. Learn to use the productive and

positive ways to work out problems in your relationships.

Modeling: Families with Elementary students

Behave the way you want your children to behave. Talk calmly,

show concern for others and listen respectfully to your children.

Demonstrate the skill. You may need to teach your children how to

study or do a single do a simple task before expecting them to do it.

Solve problems step by step. Learn to use the productive and

positive ways to work out problems in your relationships.

Modeling: For parents of Secondary students

Point out the steps needed to complete assignments or

household tasks. Sometimes teens need help with the

steps so the assignment or task is not so overwhelming.

Talk about life’s lessons. Share with your teens what you

have learned in life and ways in which education has

helped you. Communicate your values about high-risk

behavior such as drugs, drinking and early sexuality.

Group discussion onModeling

• Am I my child’s role model?

• Do I demonstrate behaviors that I want my child to emulate?

• Am I being what my child needs me to be?

AFFIRMATIONS

• I can start today to develop a relationship with my child.

• There is hope for my child.