January 2010Happy New Year!

Sand Dollar Motorcycle Club-Northwest Florida Riders-American Legion Post 352- Day Trippin’-Abate Legislative Voice-Toys for Tots-

Laffi n is Livin-Motorcycle Management-Into the Sunset

Panhandle Biker

Publisher and Editor David E. Woodby

Contributing Writers

Pam (PK) Kaby Michael McMillan Bryan Oneill

Photography by

Max Bugg PK Kaby NWFR, Red Cover Photo Denese Dyson Tolbert on a custom chopper at the Outpost.

Panhandle Biker is published oncemonthly, a David Woodby Mediapublication headquartered at 4415 Bluewater Drive, Panama City, FL 32404. (850) 785-0868davidwoodbymedia@gmail.comISSN applied for.

VenomDavid Woodby

Sanddollar Motorcycle Club Kicks off its 30th YearPam Kaby

Thunder Angels Debbie Cuthbert

Scribe’s Legislative VoiceDarrin “Scribe” Brooks

Day Trippin’

Northwest Florida Riders

A Soldier’s PoemMichael Marks

Motorcycle ManagementMichael McMillan

Laffi n is LivinCollected from the Internet

Part of the WholeBryan Oneill

D A V e

S t o n e ‘ s

Venom

Dave Stone’s 2001 Suzuki Hayabusa

Venom took Best of Show honors at Em-erald Coast Bikefest 2008. The 100 dol-lar bill on the fuel tank is Dave’s trade-mark, a real 100 dollar bill and 50 coats of Clear Coat. Earlier in his career, Dave created a custom bike in basic black, with only a cobra on the front end. On a whim, Dave applied the bill and the clear coat, and got an amazing amount of attention to that particular detail. The 100 dollar bill has been his trademark ever since. Dave runs a bike shop called ‘The Finish Line” in Panama City. http://www.hayabusaexpress.com

Sandollar Motorcycle Club kicks off its 30th Year

Submitted by PK Kaby

It’s a great time to be a Sandie! The Sandollar Motorcycle Club in Fort Walton Beach is gearing up to kick off our 30th year this month with a party and plans for continuing our tradition of putting together great rides, supporting our motorcycle community, promoting motorcycle safety and celebrating friendships – both old and new.

The Sandollar M/C is the only AMA chartered recreational riding club in northwest Florida. We host 3 poker runs throughout the year and all proceeds benefi t local charities that pro-vide services for the elderly in our community. We welcome riders of all experience levels and all different makes of motorcycles. If it has 2 or 3 wheels, can travel highway speeds, and can be operated safely then it (and you) will fi t right in. We don’t care what you ride, but that you ride. We ride just about every weekend; sometimes we have a particular des-tination in mind, often times it is just to ride. If it is a great motorcycle road in the area, chances are good that the Sandies have traveled it coming and going. And we love to eat; if the place serves good food and a hot cup of coffee, we’ll go visit. Often times the lines are blurred and it is hard to determine if we are a motorcycle club with an eating addic-tion or an eating club with a motorcycle addiction. Most of our members do not know the meaning of putting the bike up for the winter as we ride year-round. Since 2000, we have ridden over 1 Million miles as a club. Motorcycle safety has always been a top priority for us. Club rules are simple “be safe and have fun while doing it.” We are very fortunate that some of the best MSF Rider Coaches in the area are members of the Club and when we hold our monthly Skills Sunday, they are there to provide coaching and assistance as needed. Our Skills Sundays are great fun and low key as we spend the morning in the parking lot practicing those skills that may save our life on the road and sharpening our safety awareness. We urge all to remember that motorcycle skills, especially those used in an emergency situation, are diminishing skills and will only stay as sharp as the frequency they are practiced and used. Speaking of emergency, have you heard about Accident Scene Management, Inc.? ASMI certifi ed instructors teach Bystander Assistance Programs. The program is directed toward the assessment and treatment of the injured as well as how to safely administer care and handle traffi c control at the scene of any crash, but specifi cally geared toward motorcycles. Often times, the fi rst person at the scene of a crash is another rider. There are only 4 ASMI certifi ed instructors in the state of Florida and 2 of them are members of the Club. Last month, they held a class for club members. Many of the Sand-ies have gone through the Bystander Assistance Program and know how to take control at the scene of a crash until professional responders arrive.

What does it mean to be a Sandie? From JoeJoe and Jim who have been members for 10 years to Lee, a 4 year Sandie, Mary Ann, year and a half to Ken and Judith who have been members a mere 5 months the answers are the same. It means you will be riding with a group of like-minded friends that care about you, friends that are concerned with the safety of the group at all times. It means you will be riding with a group of friends you can count on to take care of you and your bike if all goes wrong and Murphy’s Law says it will at some point. Ask any member what it means to be a Sandie and you will hear it means you will become family. Sam & George have been Sandies for almost the entire 30 years. We must be doing something right. We gather every Tuesday (except the fi rst one of the month) for socializing at Biker Burger at 661 Beal Parkway in Ft. Walton Beach. Joel and Angie

welcomes all bikers and there is no pressure to join. Stop in to join us anytime, introduce yourself, and enjoy the best burger and fries in the area. We’d enjoy meeting you. For more information about the Club and to see our ride schedule, visit us at www.sandollarmotor-cycleclub.com or fi nd us on MySpace and Facebook.

It’s a great time to be a Sandie!

For more information about Thunder Angels visit our website

http://www.thunderangels.org or call Debbie Cuthbert at 850-722-9393 or

Barbara Jones at 850-271-2776

ABATE OF FLORIDA, INC.DECEMBER, 2009 VOLUME 001, ISSUE 6

If you had the chance to: 1) increase the positive image of motorcyclist, 2) promote your Chapter, and 3) build a strong relationship with your local government, would you be interested? It would require that you give a little bit of yourself to your community, still interested? For those that are still interested, I would like to talk about several areas that could use your help. Each county has special “Citizen Advisory Boards” that deal with very specific areas such as zoning, local planning, and tourism and arts just to name a few. Many counties have 20 or more such boards and several are looking for people with expertise in the area involved.

I am on the advisory board for a community center in my neighborhood and I take full advantage of that position to bring attention to Gator Alley Chapter and ABATE in general. I also get to better my community by making sure that the center can continue to provide the much needed services to the public. The icing on the cake is that we only meet once a month for about an hour. One hour out of my month is tiny, yet it reaches so many, and now the community center looks at bikers in a new light.

I know that we have members with a wide array of knowledge and skill sets that can be used by our communities. If you are

M erry Christmas and Happy Chanukah from all of us at the Legislative Voice. Can you believe that another year has come and gone so quickly? As often happens this time of year, our thoughts and deeds tend to lean

towards helping others, after all, December is magical in so many ways. This Holiday Season all of our Chapters towards helping others, after all, December is magical in so many ways. This Holiday Season all of our Chapters Mtowards helping others, after all, December is magical in so many ways. This Holiday Season all of our Chapters MMtowards helping others, after all, December is magical in so many ways. This Holiday Season all of our Chapters Mwill reach out in one way or another to our community. I am very proud to hear that so many of our events have a decades old history of unselfish giving. What is it about bikers and this time of the year? How many of us have felt that lump in our throat while singing carols at a nursing home? Or have witnessed a tough old biker dressed as Santa handing our presents to children with a joyful tear trailing down his cheek? Biker’s help, that’s what we do! In this edition, I wish to open you up to the idea of giving back to our communities all year long.

“Never , . I, .” ~ M M

interested in learning just what is available in your area then Google “advisory boards” and your county name, for example “advisory boards Collier County”. Take a look at the different boards or committees and see which one appeals to you. Then contact the county to see what step you need to take next. I know that you will find many ways to help and many ways to better your community.

How does this help ABATE and your Chapter you ask? Besides the good will and increased recognition, think of it as another way we can reach out to our local leaders. It provides an additional avenue of approach. For example; your mayor wants to impose a noise ordinance in your town. Your Chapter happens to have five members that sit on various advisory boards and the CTST, not only does your Chapter Legislative Trustee approach the mayor and town council, but the five advisory board members approach them from that direction as well. Now the mayor is getting well thought-out reasons why the noise ordinance may not be the best idea from several different angles.

If there is one thing I know about the members of ABATE of Florida, Inc., I know we are neither shy about voicing our opinions nor timid in our offering to help. After all, we are bikers, and that is what we do.

DARRIN “SARRIN “SARRIN CRIBE” BROOKS, State Legislative Trustee, ABATE of Florida, Inc.

Community Traffic Safety Teams

I would like to thank Casey Staley VP at Lake County Chapter for educating me about the Community Traffic Safe-ty Team (CTST). I had never heard of the CTST and learned that they are part of the Florida Department of Transportation’s Safety Office - www.dot.state.fl.us/Safety/CTST/ctst.shtmdot.state.fl.us/Safety/CTST/ctst.shtm.The CTST’s are made up of many dif-.The CTST’s are made up of many dif-.The CTST’s are made up of many different agencies, groups, and private citizens. Casey Staley told me that it is a great opportunity for all the Chapters of ABATE because “You get to work shoulder to shoulder with many agen-cies in your area. Since Lake County Chapter has become involved with our local CTST, we have developed a stronger relationship with the mo-torcycle officers and have had them out to speak with us several times.” I also spoke to Trenda McPherson with FDOT, she says there are cur-rently 58 teams in the State and they are always eager to work with people interested in motorcycle safety.This is a tremendous way that we can give back to your community and continue to increase the positive image of mo-torcyclist. I urge you to join your local CTST and help make your community

safe for everyone.

ABATE of Florida, Inc. December 2009 Legislative Voice Designed by Makayla “Scribble” Brooks

ScribesLegislative

Voice

Day Trippin’

This month’s Day Trippin’ takes us fi rst to the Emerald Coast H.O.G. Toys This month’s Day Trippin’ takes us fi rst to the Emerald Coast H.O.G. Toys for Tots Ride in November of this year, on to meet some new friends from up Destin way, and back to Panama City for Toys and Tots 09. I met Denese Dyson Tolbert as well as Dowlin Mayfi eld of the Mean Street Riders band on Facebook. Hopefully Dowlin and I will be able to collaborate in time for the February issue and bring you the story of how Mean Street Riders came to be. More new friends from Destin are the Northwest Florida Riders, whose names are still new to me, but have proven themselves to be great friends. If names are still new to me, but have proven themselves to be great friends. If you haven’t fi gured it out yet, the Florida Panhandle is Biker Heaven...there you haven’t fi gured it out yet, the Florida Panhandle is Biker Heaven...there is ALWAYS something going on somewhere!

Photos courtesy of PK Kaby

Photos courtesy of PK Kaby

Photos courtesy of PK Kaby

Denese and Dowlin,Thunder Beach

Denese and Dowlin, The Outpost

Dowlin rides a Police Bike... it’s FAST!

Rex Swenson of Niceville outside Cody,WY

NWFR Pumpkin Run 09, photo by RedIf we can get together before February, PHB will have a story and photos of CJ’s Ride, NWFR’s worthy and primary charity.

Photos courtesy of Max Bugg, American Legion Post #352

Photos courtesy of Max Bugg, American Legion Post #352

The embers glowed softly and in their dim light I gazed round the room and cherished the sight. My wife was asleep her head on my chest My daughter beside me angelic in rest. Outside the snow fell a blanket of white Transforming the yard to a winter delight.

The sparkling lights in the tree I believe Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve. My eyelids were heavy my breathing was deep Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep. In perfect contentment or so it would seem So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn’t loud, and it wasn’t too near But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear. Perhaps just a cough, I didn’t quite know Then the sound of footsteps outside in the snow. My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear And I crept to the door to see who was near.

Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night A lone fi gure stood, his face weary and tight. A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled. Standing watch over me and my wife and child.

“What are you doing?” I asked without fear “Come in this moment. It’s freezing out here. Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve You should be at home on this cold Christmas Eve.” For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts.

To the window that danced with a warm fi re’s light Then he sighed and he said “Its really all right I’m out here by choice. I’m here every night. “It’s my duty to stand at the front of the line That separates you from the darkest of times. No one had to ask, beg or implore I’m proud to stand here like my father before me. My Gramp died at Pearl on a day in December.” Then he sighed “That’s a Christmas Gram always remembers.” My dad stood his watch in the jungles of Nam Now it is my turn and so here I am.

I’ve not seen my own son in more than a while But my wife sends me pictures, he’s sure got her smile. Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bagThe red, white and blue. An American fl ag. I can live through the cold and the being alone Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat. I can carry the weight of killing another Or lay down my life with my sister and brother. Who stand at the front against any and all To ensure for all time that this fl ag will not fall.

“So go back inside” he said “Harbor no fright Your family is waiting and I’ll be all right.” “But isn’t there something I can do at the least “Give you money” I asked “Or prepare you a feast? It seems all too little for all that you’ve done For being away from your wife and your son.”

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret “Just tell us you love us. And never forget To fi ght for our rights back home while we’re gone To stand your own watch no matter how long.

For when we come home either standing or dead To know you remember we fought and we bled. Is payment enough and with that we will trust That we mattered to you as you mattered to us.”

Copyright by Michael Marks (Not by Jeff Giles)

Author’s Note: In loving appreciation of the countless Americans who have and continue to serve in the Armed Forces and those who gave their life for their country. Your sacrifi ces will never be forgotten. We look forward to the day you come home. God bless and keep you al-ways and God Bless America.

A Soldier’s Poem by Michael Marks

Motorcycle managementby Michael McMillan

Editor’s note: Michael was kind enough to send both the December and Janaury articles to me last month. Unfortunately, I was dumb enough to print both in the December issue. Refl ecting Michael’s kind and forgiving nature, Michael sent me another article for the January issue.

Motorcycle Michael’s 25 Interesting and Completely Useless Random Facts

1. There are only a handful of ‘Super Volcanoes’ on our planet. One of the largest is here in the United States. It measures about 52 miles long by 28 miles wide. If it were to erupt it would completely destroy about ¼ of the continental United States and bury much of the US, Central and South America, and Canada under massive amounts of ash.. Tempera-tures would drop dramatically around the world and there would not be a ray of bright sun-shine touch the surface of the earth for more than ten years due to the staggering volume of ash and dust in the upper atmosphere. Although you’ve probably never heard it called a Super Volcano, or by it’s more appropriate label: Megacauldera. You know it better as Yel-lowstone National Park…

2. If you were to fall from the top of a three story building, the maximum speed you’d at-tain just before your sudden stop at the sidewalk would be 22 miles per hour.

3. Most motorcycle crashes occurs at average speeds about 33% faster than that.

4. James Earl Jones (Voice of Darth Vader) and David Prowse (the actor you saw as Vader onscreen) never met.

5. Chuck Berry, arguably the father of rock and roll, had more than a dozen hits in the 1950s and ‘60s.. He had only one song go to #1 on the Billboard chart, however. Was it the immortal ‘Johnny B. Goode’? The unforgettable ‘Roll over Beethoven’? Nope. It was the nov-elty tune ‘My Ding-A-Ling’ in 1972.

6. A Grizzly Bear can outrun the average horse for a hundred yards...

7. So can an Elephant.

8. It takes 21 pounds of milk to make 1 pound of butter.

9. No wonder we get fat: You can think 1250 different thoughts on the calories in just 2 Cheerios.

10. Tallest mountain on Earth? Mauna Kea in Hawaii (another volcano!) 33,476 ft. from its base on the ocean fl oor to the tip. Mount Everest is the tallest above sea level, but is “only” 29,028 ft. Mauna Kea is only 832 feet shy of being a full mile taller than Everest. Imagine climbing the roughly 5 ½ miles to the top of Everest and fi nding that you still have a mile to go…

11. 40 % of nurses in the US say they would not want a member of their family treated at the hospital where they work.

12. It takes light from the Sun 8 minutes and 18 seconds to reach earth. For comparison purposes, light can travel the distance around the earth 7 times in one second.

13. In 1997 TV viewers were asked to name televisions’ most frightening characters. Ger-aldo Rivera came in second.

14. Eagles can’t hunt when it’s raining.

15. It is impossible to get athletes foot if you never wear shoes.

16. Smokers need to take in 40% more vitamin C than non-smokers, just to stay even.

17. A honey bee can smell an apple tree from 2 miles away.

18. Denver’s International Airport is larger than the entire city of Boston.

19. The fi rst product ever produced by the Hewlett-Packard Company? An automatic uri-nal fl usher.

20. The fi rst car stolen in the US was in St. Louis, Mo in 1905.

21. The profession most likely to be late for a Doctors appointment? Doctors.

22. Cats have two sets of vocal cords. One set is used for purring only. All other noises are made by the second set of vocal cords. Cats make over 100 different sounds.

23. Dogs only make an average of 10 different sounds.

24. 20 % of drivers get 80 % of the tickets.

25. Major Irony: The state motto of New Hampshire, “Live free or Die” is stamped onto its automobile license plates by state prisoners.

Laffi n’ is Livin’

It STILL dont sound like a Harley, Ralph...

An offi cer assigned to a lonely stretch of highway came upon the scene of an obvi-ous hit and run. There in the middle of the road was a lo-cal biker known for his extramarital activ-ities, his bike was a twisted heap, and the biker was pretty banged up, but alive. “Hey Joe”, the cop asked, did you get the license plate of the vehicle that hit ya? “No”, Joe grunted painfully, but I’d know my old lady’s laugh anywhere!

A Man At the Pearly Gates A man dies and goes to Heaven. At the pearly gates he meets St. Peter. St. Peter is look-ing over the man’s folder and says to the man “I can’t let you in because your records show that you have done nothing to help your fellow man. But if you can think of one thing that you did to help, I’ll let you in.” The man thinks for a minute and says, “There was this one time I was driving down this dark, deserted road one night, when I came upon a bunch of bikers in the middle of the road. They had this young lady there and each biker was taking his turn with her. I got my tire iron from my trunk and walked into the middle of them, picked out the biggest, ugliest one of them and hit him in back of the head. As he lay on the ground the rest of the bik-ers surrounded me. I slapped my tire iron in my hand and said “Which one of you sons-a-bitches is next?” St. Peter looked at the man and asked, “When did this happen?” The man replied, looking at his watch, “About ten minutes ago.”

A man dies and goes to Heaven. At the pearly gates he meets St. Peter. St. Peter is look-

you did to help, I’ll let you in.” The man thinks for a minute and says, “There was this one time I was driving down this

St. Peter looked at the man and asked, “When did this happen?” The man replied, looking at his watch, “About ten minutes ago.”

911, can I help you?

Hello! Help! “Send someone over quickly!” the old woman screamed into the phone. “Two naked bikers are climbing up toward my bedroom window!” “This is the Fire Department, lady,” the voice replied. “I’ll have to transfer you to the Police Department.” “No, it’s YOU I want!” she yelled. “They need a longer ladder!”

Can’t ever fi nd one when ya need one!

A biker awoke in the middle of a cold winter night to sounds coming from his shed. Look-ing out he saw someone carrying stuff out to a van. Being lazy, he called the police saying he was being robbed. The desk cop said no one was available, call back in an hour. The biker hung up, counted to 30 and called again and said “I called you earlier about be-ing robbed, don’t bother sending anyone, I got my gun and shot the punk dead.” Within minutes the cops arrived, guns drawn and arrested the burglar red handed. The ranking offi cer, with an attitude, said to the biker,”the Desk Sargent said you had killed someone.” The biker said “That’s funny, cause the Desk Sargent told me, no one was available, call back in an hour.”

A biker awoke in the middle of a cold winter night to sounds coming from his shed. Look-

Being lazy, he called the police saying he was being robbed. The desk cop said no one was available, call back in an hour. The biker hung up, counted to 30 and called again and said “I called you earlier about be-

Within minutes the cops arrived, guns drawn and arrested the burglar red handed. The

The biker said “That’s funny, cause the Desk Sargent told me, no one was available, call

Can’t fool a Fly!

A biker, who worked on a horse farm, got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding. Since it was a rural road with no traffi c, the biker tried to get the trooper to let him off with a warning. Instead, the trooper lectured the biker about speeding, and in general gave the biker a hard time. Finally, the trooper got around to writing the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some fl ies that were buzzing around his head. The biker said, “Having some problems with Circle Flies?” The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said--”Well yeah, if that’s what they are--I never heard of Circle Flies.” So the biker says ”Well, Circle Flies are common on farms. See, they’re called Circle Flies because they’re always found circling around the back end of a horse.” The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. After a minute he stops and says, “Hey, Are you trying to call me a horse’s ass?” The biker says, “No offi cer. I have too much respect for cops to even think about calling you a horse’s ass.” The trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to writing the ticket. As the trooper hands him the ticket, the biker says, “Hard to fool them fl ies though.”

The Biker and the Farmer

While riding one day, a lone Biker met a Farmer riding a horse with a dog and a sheep alongside. The biker began a conversation . . . . Biker: “Hey, cool dog you got there. Mind if I speak to him?” Farmer: “Dogs don’t talk.” Biker: “Hey dog, how’s it going?” Dog: “Doin’ alright.” Farmer: Look of shock. Biker: “Is this your owner?” pointing at the Farmer. Dog: “Yep.” Biker: “How does he treat you?” Dog: “Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the river once a week to play.”

Farmer: Look of total disbelief. Biker: “Mind if I talk to your horse?” Farmer: “Horses don’t talk.” Biker: “Hey horse, how’s it going?” Horse: “Cool.” Farmer: Extreme look of shock. Biker: “Is this your owner? “ pointing at the Farmer. Horse: “Yessiree Bob.” Biker: “How’s he treating you?” Horse: “Pretty good, and thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in a shed to protect me.” Farmer: Total look of utter amazement. Biker: “Mind if I talk to your sheep?” Farmer: “The sheep is a liar.”

Three Bikers

A Honda Rider, a BMW Rider and a Harley Rider were sitting in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a continuing beeping sound. The Honda Rider pressed his forearm and the beeping stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager”, he said, “I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes later a phone rang. The BMW Rider lifted his palm to his ear. When he fi n-ished he explained, “That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.” The Harley Rider felt decidedly low tech. Not to be outdone, he decided he had to do some-thing just as impressive. He stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He re-turned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his ass. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him. The Harley Rider fi nally declared… “Well check that out...I’m getting a fax!”

Shocking Anniversary

An old biker couple are having their anniversary. A cop at the next table overhears them talking. Spike says to his old lady, “Remember when we fi rst got together, we went out back of this same place and got it on up by the fence? Let’s do that again. Now.” Gypsy says “Sure baby, let’s slip out back.” They sneak out back, unaware the cop has decided to watch. They get out there, arthritic joints slowing them down. He fi nally drops his pants and she pulls up her skirt, leans against the fence and gets in position. They go at it like crazy! They bang each other’s brains out for 15 minutes. The cop is amazed. The couple fi nally fall down exhausted, and after a half hour the cop checks on them, fi nds them tired but smiling. He says, “Folks, you 2 must have had one hulluva sex life when you were younger, to be like this at your age!” Spike says, “It wasn’t bad, but 40 years ago, that freakin fence wasn’t electrifi ed, either.”

Lesbian

A biker went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his whiskey, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?” He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life on Harleys. My momma was pregnant with me when she rode on the back of my Daddy’s Harley, then as a little boy I rode on the back with my Daddy until I fi nally got my own Harley. I’ve been riding a Harley ever since. So yes, I guess I am a real biker.” She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women; when I shower, watch TV, eat, whatever, everything seems to make me think of women.” Then she got up and left. The biker was thinking about what just happened when a man sat down next to the biker and asked, “Are you a real biker?” He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”

Final Farewell!

Two bikers are pulled up at a stop sign. One looks up and sees a funeral procession start-ing by. He pulls the bike to the side of the road, gets off, stands by its side, takes off his helmet, and bows his head. The procession passes by the intersection and the biker puts on his helmet, gets back on the bike, and starts it up. The other biker comes over and says, “That was touching. I didn’t know you had it in you.” The fi rst biker responds, “Well, I guess it was the right thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years.”

Purina Diet, Lose Weight Fast! from http://www.shtuffforbikers.com

Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart, for my dogs Win-ston, Chief, and Gus, I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, that I had an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn’t because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that how it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.) Horrifi ed, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

I recently met some wonderful, caring people online that live in my area. I have yet to ride with them, but their responses have been very positive, and they have been extremely helpful with this January issue. Here are some of their contributions.

Jose Cuervo Cookies

submitted by VulcanChick69

1 cup of water1 tsp baking soda1 cup of sugar1 tsp salt1 cup or brown sugar4 large eggs1 cup nuts2 cups of dried fruit1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality,pour one level cup and drink. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butterin a large fl uffy bowl. Add one peastoon of sugar. Beat again. At this pointit’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still ok, try anothercup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cupof dried fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off the fl oor. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters just pryit loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who geevesa sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefi nk. Whatever you canfi nd. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fallover. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, fi nish theCose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the wishdasher.Cherry Mistmas !

Part of the Whole submitted by Bryan Oneill, aka “Irish”

Beep..Beep..Beep...The rude sound of my alarm clock intrudes on my sleep, bringing me up not-so-gently. I roll over, wake my wife, and hop in the shower. Finally, after months of talking, typing, and back-and-forth, The Day is here. I’m only half paying attention to shaving as my mind is already drifting ahead to a day full of riding, cameraderie... and more riding.

I step out the front door, helmet in hand, and there she is. She’s hot, she gets my blood stirring, and my wife is standing right next to her. Okay, so both of them get my blood stir-ring. I climb on, set the passenger pegs, and steady the bike so my partner in crime can hop on back. As soon as I hit the button, those two revolutions of the starter that are so characteristic of a VTX sound off, followed by the steady crackle of drag pipes sending the exhaust out like some sort of aboriginal drumbeat. I listen to the tacka-tacka for a moment, drop it in gear and head out the driveway. Not a moment after I move into the street, I no-tice the low fuel light on. Damn! Oh well, better grab some gas and cash. Nothing as simple as an empty tank is going to damp my spirits today.

Freshly fueled up, cash in hand (I gotta buy something to prove I went, right?) we roll into traffi c, headed for the local Orange Box to meet up with the rest of the guys. Well, not ALL the rest of the guys, just the ones coming over from points even farther West than me. We’re all going to head over together.

I pull into the parking lot, and my pulse jumps up just a little as I get my fi rst sight of ac-cumulated iron, decked out with tricky paint, leather accessories, and “more chrome than the law should allow,” as one compadre describes it. As soon as I step off the bike, a round of familiar faces heads my way, along with a few I don’t know. Introductions are made, and now none of the folks I didn’t know are strangers any more. There’s something about shar-ing a passion like ours that brings us all together. So what if there’s an H-D next to a Hon-da. Once we make sure that we’re all here, it’s time to saddle up. One by one, this dozen or so riders I’m here with fi res up his own mean sounding beast, raps the throttle a few times, and lets it settle into a low, powerful idle. I love this. I’m getting a small case of chills just listening to us drop into gear and rumble out of the parking lot.

The roar on the road is amazing, no matter how many times I’ve done this. I can’t help but have a grin on my face as I rack through the gears, listening to the report from a dozen sets of pipes echoing off all the hard surfaces nearby: concrete barriers, buildings, the hundreds of cars fi lled with those poor people who can only look on and wish they were me right now.

It seems like it’s only been a few minutes since we all settled into our positions in the pack, falling into a rhythm that lets each of us focus on the feeling of wind in our face. But we’re already pulling into our next quick stop-off, gathering more bikes, more chrome, more people-who-aren’t-my-friend-yet. I get to meet a few new faces. So THAT’s what he looks like. Oh, hey, this guy over here brought his brother. Introducing my wife to some folks, we all stand around for a minute, chatting as if we’ve all been buddies for a long time.

Back on the road, we’re now twenty to twenty-fi ve strong. The sound has doubled, the chills are a little bigger this time. I can smell the salt water coming in on the breeze off the gulf, and I feel that familiar pair of legs squeeze me gently, letting me know our minds are wan-dering the same paths, in tune as always. Scary how someone who is not me has managed to be inside my head all the time, but a comfort all the same. She feels my excitement as we make our way through the trapped cagers headed off to their amusements.

As we ride through the pockets of traffi c, the head of our impromptu pack takes us off in a direction with which I’m not familiar. Oh well, these guys know where we’re going, and we’ll all get there just fi ne. Hmm, this must be a scenic route. After a few minutes of tooling through the back roads of Fort Walton, we pull out onto a spot I recognize as being right down the road from where we’re headed. NOW I get it. Wow, someone was thinking ahead, making sure we don’t have to cross traffi c as we are going into the offi cial starting point of the ride.

Getting off the bike this time, I have no feelings of distance from the group I’m with. I feel an almost fraternal closeness to these brothers of the road, guys I’d now ride with any day, anywhere. We strip off the helmets and walk into the main sales fl oor of the local dealer-ship, and the tables are already set, people in line to sign up for this ride. Do they even know why they’re riding today? Do I? Hugs, handshakes, as I meet up with folks I haven’t seen for a little while. I’ve only met them a couple times, but we’ve all jabbed and joked and shared on the pages of our website. It’s like having an extended family.

Okay, the ride here was fun, but there’s a few things to take care of. Where is the little blonde with the notebook? Do I get one of the cool red shirts? Crap, I wish I had saddlebags so I could carry stuff. Get all the have-to’s take care of, then stand around a bit drinking eye-poppingly stout coffee, munching on a doughnut, waiting for people to settle in. Off goes my wife to do her part. She’s going to be selling 50/50 tickets, hopefully making a con-tribution in her own way, being friendly, bubbly, and selling the hell out of those little blue pieces of paper.

Hmm, I forgot that I don’t have any idea where any of these places are over here. Oh well, I’ll just wing it, and fi gure it out one stop at a time. Oh, it seems that I have other folks who are willing to bet on my ability to fi nd my way, too. Great, at least if I get lost, I won’t be alone.... But it seems fortune has smiled on me and my wayward mini-group. It just so happens that on the second stop, we fi nd a group of riders that I rode in with from points West. Our small pack adds to theirs, and we all fi nd our way through one stop after anoth-er. Lunch on the water at this nice little outside setup with the best grilled Mahi sandwich I’ve ever tasted. I even found a new beer that tasted better with each swallow.

After what seems like minutes..or hours..or days on the road (I can’t tell, it’s just running together in one big experience fi lled with smiles, jokes, riding, and friendship) we pull into the last stop before heading back to the after-party. Just a quick turn-around, and we get ready to head out again. Some of our pack splits off, headed back home several miles away. After some handshakes and waves, we drop half our size. The few of us who do keep on, stop off for some fuel, and then off to the rallying point.

Man, I didn’t realize that there were so many bikes participating in this ride. I and my new close friends park the bikes, and hop off to stretch our legs. I can’t believe that I just start-ed riding with these people this morning. It feels like we’ve all been friends for much longer.

We amble over to the people’s choice bike show. Man, I love the paint on that one, but the chrome on one of the others is really sharp. Oh well, I’ll just be announcing who wins, but if I had to decide it would be tough.

We drop off our fi nal ticket for the day in the little plastic sand bucket where they’re collect-ing our names. Maybe I’ll win something. Even if I don’t, it’s been a hell of a day already. I see some of the familiar red shirts and break off from my wife and riding buddies. Now I can fi nally get to the part where I feel like I’m making a contribution.

Down to business. Where are the mic’s, what’s going on, how is all this going to work? Ahhhh, there’s the perky blonde again, now looking just a bit more worn than this morn-ing. She fi lls me in on some of the items we will be giving away, making sure I mention and thank our sponsors. Hey, business is business. These people gave for a good cause, but they’d like to be recognized for it. What was the cause again? Something about CJ, I’ve heard the story. One of our guys lost a brother, and this is in his honor. Okay, no problem, I’ve done a hundred of these benefi ts, and the causes are different, but the business end is the same.

So I get up on the stage opposite this guy with a denim vest and ball cap on. He gives me the run-down of how things are going to go, asks a couple technical questions, am I or am I not loud on a mic, basic stuff. We get off to a slightly bumpy start, with an early run on the drawings, but it’s nothing major, we can shake it off and just fi x it on the fl y. I fi nd my rhythm with this guy whose personality is bigger than he is. That’s ok, when I’m on, I’ve got a pretty big personality myself. We just feed off each other, and things move much more smoothly. I like this guy. We have different personas, different backgrounds, but similar senses of humor, and it works.

The drawings go off without a hitch, the business side of things is taken care of, and al-ready the folks are breaking off in twos and threes. I stick around, have another beer, and go see some of the other staffers for the ride. Our guy who lost his brother is standing there with his two other brothers, and I walk up. I get smothered with a handshake that turns into a hug. He tells me there’s no way to let me know how much he appreciates what I did today, what everyone did today. I feel good knowing I’m doing what I can to help other people, and do it for a good cause.

Just as I’m about to gather my wife and riding partners to go, we get called up in front of the stage. The lead singer of the band gets in front of us and starts to tell us about CJ, and about what he means to him, and why we’re here. The band strikes up, and goes into “Sim-ple Kind of Man” by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Cheesy? No, not a bit. Slowly I feel those chills come back that I’ve had throughout the day, but it’s different. Yeah, I’ve heard the story, I know about CJ, but for some reason, it clicks right there. I look over and see the three brothers who once were four, standing with their arms around each other. The little blonde with the notebook is there, too, tears rolling down her cheeks. Even the guy with the denim vest has his hat down over his eyes, presumably to hide the shine in them which comes from strong emotions fl ooding through him. I fl ash back to the day when I lost my own father, and I know why they’re here.

Cory, I didn’t know you. I haven’t even heard much about you. I’ve barely gotten to know these people that I’m here with. But I know that what is happening here isn’t just a way to raise money, or a way to make yourself feel good. It’s about remembering someone who

is special to you, who is a part of you, and always will be. THAT’s the cause that brings us together. I close my eyes, feeling tears come that I didn’t know were there. For the fi rst time in a long time, I feel a closeness to a group of people who are a group because of our shared passion, our sense of friendship and love, and our desire to do something that is bigger than any one person among us. This story isn’t about me, I’m just part of the whole.

Emerald Coast Motorcycle Training is moving to a new location for the new year. We will be operating a full schedule of training courses at 8400 Front Beach Rd starting in mid-January. People can veiw the class schedule and sign up online at www.emeraldridesafe.com, or simply call 850-890-5932.

Bill and Kim TuttleEmerald Coast Motorcycle850-890-5932

This is the third issue of Panhandle Biker, and I am completely thrilled with the response from riders and clubs in the Panhandle and elsewhere. I encour-age you to keep sending photos, stories about rides you or your club have taken, photos of your favorite bikes, clubs, hangouts, and of course, hot biker chicks! Incidentally...1- The term “hot biker chicks” is by no means derogatory, nor intended to de-mean anyone or anything.2- If you expect politically correct names for people, places, or things, you are reading the wrong magazine. I still say “Yes ma’am to 16 year old females serving food at McDonalds, I open doors for ladies, and yes, I light their ciga-rettes. I reserve the right to use the words sir and ma’am as a mark of respect. I do not wish people “Happy Holidays”, I said

“Merry CHRISTMAS”

and I will now say “and I will now say “and I will now say Happy New Year.” I look forward to meeting so many people I have already been in contact with, and so many more that I’ve not had the opportunity to meet and talk with.

Don’t forget to look us up on Facebook as Panhandle Biker Online Magazine, and please,

Ride Safe Ride Hard, Arrive Alive!

Into the sunset