ON HAVING A CONVERSATION

TUNING INTO SELF&WORKING WITH OTHERS

BLOCK ADAPTATION

• The slides shortly to follow are based around Peter Block‟s Six Conversations Model.

• Narrative Therapy/Consulting.

• Emphasis on a Community of Conversation, not mechanical steps.

• Authenticity of both individual and practitioner.

SIX STEPS TO GENUINE ENGAGEMENT

• Invitation and Assent.

• Exploring and Realising Possibilities.

• Owning My Own Learning Process.

• Risking Dissent.

• Offering Commitment.

• Fusing: Dynamic Conversation.

• The ghost of the passive learner belongs on the back burner!

GUIDANCE NOTES

• After each of the 6 Steps there will a slide entitled CORE FOCUS.

• Each step has implications for us the person, learner/developer, practitioner.

• Also one entitled LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES….we all are able to lead.

A FEW THOUGHTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP

• In this learning community leadership is not taken to be…

• The same as management

• About bravado, sloganising, political manipulation etc

• Emphasis is placed on authenticity, dealing with uncertainty, radical empathy, trust building, incremental inspiration, and resonance.

A FEW THOUGHTS ON UNCERTAINTY

• „To be uncertain is to be uncomfortable, but to be certain is to be ridiculous‟

Chinese proverb

• „Uncertainty and expectation are the joys of life. Security is an insipid thing.‟

William Congreve. Seventeenth Century English Playwright.

• „Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.‟

R.I. Fitzhenry. Twentieth Century Canadian Publisher.

• „Olive trees and answers both need time.‟

Arab Proverb.

UNCERTAINTY AS THREAT?

• In a communal, or cultural context uncertainty may be felt, perceived, as threatening {Hofstede, 1994}.

• Resultant anxiety-diffuse in nature {fear typically has a specific focus}.

• {As if} everything different is dangerous.

• {As if} There is only one truth and I/we have it-developmental implications for the individual/collective.

• ‘Truth is a jewel and the owner lives dangerously.’ Arab Proverb.

• “Being a student is to be in a state of anxiety.” Barnett {2007} -your experience?

• We seem „safe‟ then along comes a Black Swan Moment {Taleb}.

BLACK SWAN MOMENT

PREPARED FOR THE UNPREPARED?

• Award winning Danish animation film The Danish Poet {2007}emphasised learning to become prepared for the unprepared.

• The Film‟s core moral was that to engage with the ambiguities and uncertainties of contemporary life is the real route to depth understanding and learning.

• As if life‟s journey beckons us towards ambivalence……anyone know about MOTIVATIONAL INTERVIEWING?

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3232l_the-danish-poet-torill-

kove_shortfilms

ADAPTING BLOCK 1. INVITATION AND ASSENT

• To develop; to move forward.

• Establishing whether „I‟ genuinely want to do so.

• What do „I‟ need to make this initial commitment?

• We might then ask of ourselves whether what we aspire to is depth learning and understanding-intra personally, academically, professionally…..

• Or might we feel safer with ambiguity, passivity, and disempowerment; amidst uncertainty.

1. {cont}

• What will be the ingredients that will enable me to more clearly:

Participate

Own Relationships

Persevere with tasks

Engage in processes/the learning process

CORE FOCUS

• Intrinsic motivation.

• Willingness to develop self midst the reflexive learning process {Ledwith fc Handbook 30017}

• Openness to risk taking; working effectively midst uncertainty.

• Accepting failure as part of the learning process.

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• In inviting others to ‘the conversation’/for engagement ‘I/we’ are investing in them.

• Yet we are by no means wholly certain.

• Investment which is more effectively realised in those who engage/actively engage.

• In turn ‘they’ may well draw others closer to engagement.

• How does this ‘play out’ in this room? Your group?

2.EXPLORING AND REALISING POSSIBILITIES

• Looking forward.

• Not remaining rooted in the past.

• Freeing up our own creativity.

• Innovating, challenging the status quo/‟My‟ own status quo.

• Breaking new ground.

CORE FOCUS

• Opportunity.

• Freedom to choose.

• To accept personal responsibility……negotiating the freedom to act.

• Risk and uncertainty.

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• Raising the awareness of community members, group members in relation to their freedom.

• ‘Disturbing the peace/piece’.

• Fuelling uncertainty?

• Refreshing perspective.

3.OWNING MY OWN LEARNING PROCESS

• What‟s „My‟ part in getting this far?

• Avoiding blame, gossip and negativity.

• Making „My‟ own change not waiting to be changed?

CORE FOCUS

• Retaining emphases of choice, freedom and responsibility.

• Considering options/possibilities open to us.

• Thus unearthing passion and commitment.

• Built on foundations of resonance and meaning.

CORE FOCUS {cont}

• That something genuinely means something to us…….’I’ have a grounded basis to act.

• What am ‘I’ doing here? This Programme/Module?

• What am ‘I’ doing {intending to do} in my professional role?

• Taking responsibility in and for our learning and development.

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• Resisting the lure of problem solving.

• Uncertainty and risk for both leader{s} and participants.

• Staying focussed on ‘their’ understandings of possibility{ies} until….

• ‘Other/s’ speak with resonance and passion.

4.RISKING DISSENT

• Saying „No‟ in an informed and principled way.

• Sometimes we need to say „No‟ to get to „Yes‟.

• Commitment .v. Doubt……reaching a synthesised position.

RISKING DISSENT {cont}

• What I do not want can help in finding what I do want.

• Failure can enrich learning.

• Opting out is without adult status.

• Tension and conflict can be creative.

CORE FOCUS

• Commitment in this context is found in authentic learning and practice; how will I share my aspirations?

• Authentic being begets authentic practice.

• See for example Nash Popovic Personal Synthesis.

• Commitment to own progress, the whole Group, MI Group; professional domain{s}.

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• ‘Working with Other/s’ to explore commitment and doubt.

• Facilitating and exploring an owned/share an environment where trust can grow.

• Where it can be safe to articulate doubts, fears, uncertainties…

• Alongside aspirations, hope, joy.

• Leaders never have answers to everything.

5.OFFERING COMMITMENT

• Nurturing „My‟ own learning and development.

• Promises to the Group/sub groups.

• Engaging with these promises.

• Articulating them {internally/externally}.

• Beyond mere personal gain.

CORE FOCUS

• What assets/capabilities do I bring to this journey?

• ‘My’ willingness to acknowledge?

• What makes me suitable for this learning/professional domain?

• ‘My’ contribution to the trust pool?

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• Lip service=weak currency {discuss}.

• I/we are looking to build authentic commitment

• Who is looking to join us?

• Who is harbouring ‘No in a mask’?

• Courage to commit.

Anyway boundaries lurk

6.FUSING: DYNAMIC CONVERSATION

• Clarifying to self what „I‟ am bringing to the Group.

• The positives that „I‟ am prepared to own.

• Building on them/working from „My‟ potential.

• Changing „Myself‟; positively impacting on others.

CORE FOCUS

• Continuing to integrate the positive about and within self.

• Authentic self in ‘My’ imperfections.

• Inspiring others, leading others.

• Quietly ‘modelling’ to allay doubts, fears.

• Valuing reciprocity.

LEADERSHIP OPPORTUNITIES

• Genuine capability infuses the community, group, sub group.

• Such capability both exposes and conceals itself.

• Ultimately, bringing all capabilities to the fore.

• Bringing the gifts of those at the margins closer.

BIBLIO

• Barnett,R. {2007}. A Will To Learn: Being a Student in an Age of Uncertainty. McGraw Hill

• Block, P. http://www.designedlearning.com/ [online]. Accessed 19 September 2011.

• Hofstede, G. {1994}. Cultures and Organisations: Software of the Mind-Intercultural Cooperation and its importance for survival.Harper Collins.

• Cooper Ramo, J. {2009 } The Age of the Unthinkable: Why the New World Disorder Constantly Surprises Us and What to Do About It. Little Brown

• Taleb, N.{2007}. The Black Swan: The Impact of the HighlyImprobable. Penguin Books

• Taleb, N. Learning to expect the unexpected. [online]. http://www.edge.org/3rd_culture/taleb04/taleb_indexx.htmlAccessed 29 September 2009.

MYTH

• We typically think of myth in a socio cultural context; organisations included. You might like to consider the mythology, for example, surrounding the community that you live in, or come from.

• Consider meaning that is made about such socio cultural environments. What stories are told, do you tell? What rituals are observed?

• Is myth unquestionably a positive or negative phenomenon? What kinds of stories are told about these communities?

• What myths pertain to you? Do you uphold, protect? What are the pay offs that you derive?

MYTH

• Are you conscious about having „pushed back horizons‟ in relation to yourself? An example might be a tolerance of uncertainty where once your personal horizon indicated having to be certain before you could act?

• Extend your reflections to communities and how they might come to push back horizons. The community that could not improve, respect itself?

• Orbach, S. {2001} Towards Emotional Literacy.” Virago Press.

• Being able to recognise what we are feeling so that it doesn‟t interfere with our thinking.

• Another dimension to draw upon when making decisions/encountering situations.

• Being able to harness what we are feeling as an aid to understanding and focussing.

•

• Allowing our feelings to inform how we prioritise.

• Taking responsibility for our feelings and acknowledging how we impact on family, friends, and colleagues etc

EMOTIONAL LITERACY DEFICIT

• Not being in touch with our feelings; gender stereotyping feelings.

• Denying the importance of feelings in life and work decision making.

• Pretending that life and work are merely about cognition and rationality.

• Displacing feelings or dumping them, thus not taking appropriate responsibility for how we impact on others.

• Consider the notion of toxic emotions-socio cultural, & individual.

AMBIVALENCE

• The coexistence of opposing attitudes or feelings, such as love and hate, toward a person, object, or idea.

• Uncertainty or indecisiveness as to which course to follow.

• The state of feeling two conflicting emotions at the same time .

• Ambivalency: a state of being; a conflictual state, entailing opposition between two simultaneous but incompatible feelings; s/he was immobilized/torn by conflict and indecision.

AMBIVALENCE AS RESOURCE

• From the understandings in the previous slide, consider ambivalence that you may have experienced.

• How might ambivalence manifest and impact within groups, organisations, and communities?

• How might such ambivalence be „used‟ whilst working with people in a social setting?

• How might your own ambivalence impact upon such social settings?