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Parent Circle is published by Nalina Ramalakshmi, Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd. All editorial material including editorial comments, opinions and statement of facts appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent Circle is gathered from sources considered to be reliable, but the accuracy of all information cannot be guaranteed. The publication of any advertisements or listings is not to be construed as an endorsement of the product or service offered.

PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Nalina Ramalakshmi

MANAGING EDITORNitya Varadarajan

SENIOR EDITOR - COPY DESKShashwathi Sandeep

CONTENT COORDINATORAsita Haq

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SUBSCRIPTION Dolly Preethi Martina M

I was not more than five or six years old. I was sitting on the front steps of my house, mango seed in hand, relishing every bit of pulp slurped from the seed. Suddenly, the seed slipped from my hand and fell to the ground. Looking around and assuming that no one was watching me, I picked up the

seed and continued eating from it. Just at that moment, the Swamiji who visited my home daily to teach Vedanta to my mother and grandmother was entering my house. He saw what had happened and informed my mother. When my mother later questioned me about this, I vehemently denied any wrongdoing. This made her furious; it was not what I had done, but it was the fact that I had lied. She took me to my room and left me crying and alone to think about this. This incident may sound trivial, but it has been etched forever in my memory. That day, I learnt a valuable lesson - the importance of being truthful and honest.

Indians today have banded together in their fight for honesty and anti-corruption led by Anna Hazare and the Jan Lokpal bill. As my father rightly says, for the Jan Lokpal to be effective, the members themselves have to be honest and uncorrupt. These are values that need to be inculcated in every individual from childhood and the parent plays a vital role in instilling these values in every child.

In our cover story on ‘Gandhian Values’, we have Gandhians talking to us on the Mahatma’s vision for a free India, the important values he espoused and how we can instill such values in our children.

As the cold and wet days of winter approach, we all need something to light up our long, dark nights and keep us cheerful. Our special story ‘Winter and the Festival of Lights’, takes you on a fascinating journey across India and around the world exploring several winter celebrations of lights.

This month, we are proud to announce the launch of our very own website and an online version of the magazine at www.parentcircle.in. We invite you to be a part of our online community by exploring and contributing to the site. Your feedback is of great interest to us.

The importance of our role as parents in shaping the future of our world cannot be over emphasized as seen from this quote by Mahatma Gandhi:

“If parents would behave themselves whilst the child is growing, before it is born and after, it is a well known fact that the child would instinctively obey the law of Truth and the law of Love.”

Nalina Ramalakshmi

For the Parent in youTo know, to understand, to connect

Find us on

editorial

Parent Circle / October 20112

IN FOCUS

MINDSET Discipline without Punishment

FEATURE Demystifying Arts-based Therapy

HEALTH CIRCLE Vitamin and Iodine Deficiencies in Children

LEARNING The Art of Storytelling

TEEN CIRCLE When Blackberrys and Apples Cause Indigestion!

CIRCLE OF LIFE Being Resourceful

DESTINATIONS No Bypassing Bylakuppe!

REGULARS6

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ON THE COVER VEDYA AND VYAAS RAJA ENJOYING DIWALI PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA

Gandhian Values

SPECIAL

COVER STORY

Winter and the Festival of Lights

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P.11

RESOURCES

HANDS ON Spin A Charkha

CHECK IT OUT Good Reads

PARENT CHEF Quick ’n Easy Diwali Delights

EVENTS Chennai this Month

YOUR WORD

PARENT EXPRESS Parenting Dilemmas

DISCUSSION POINT School Timings

VIEWPOINT Art as a Career Option

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FORUM

Parent Circle / October 20114

Letters to the Editor

Please send in your letter with the subject line “Letters to the Editor”, before October 15, 2011, to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.

your word

The cover story of your September issue on Grandparents is a beautiful, authentic account of the ‘grand’ relationships! The 101 year old Janaki Ammal playing carrom is a wonderful picture capturing the four generations together! Best wishes!DR T V SUBRAMANIAN

The magazine is perfect for this generation of parents, especially when both the parents are working. They have no time for children, but at the same time, they want their children to excel in their studies. Parents depend almost completely on teachers, but teachers too cannot manage each child individually. This kind of magazine brings about awareness in us to prioritise our parental roles. The issues taken up by Parent Circle, are pretty much the issues that we face in our day to day life. JAYASHANKAR MENON, father of a 14-year-old and a 4-year-old

The September issue was the first one I had read. Since the cover story was on grandparents and I am a grandparent myself, I personally enjoyed that feature. The whole appearance of the magazine is very inviting and it is definitely useful for all parents. There are some things that parents may miss out while bringing up their children. The information given in this magazine fills that gap. Every parent including the older ones like me can relate to the photos and topics covered. Keep up the good work and all the best!PARVATHI LIMBEKAR, grandmother of 19-year-old and 5-year-old grandsons

We are enjoying all the issues of the magazine tremendously. The layout, articles chosen, the topics covered are interesting and relevant. We also appreciate the over-all philosophy of your articles which are focussed on allowing children their childhood, rather than pushing them and stressing them out, which has become the norm today. I think this is going to be a huge contribution towards making parents more aware. The September Parent Express about the sibling issue was so beautifully put. A very balanced viewpoint!KESANG MENEZES

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www.parentcircle.in 11

Gandhian ValuesI am a humble but very earnest seeker after Truth. And in my search, I take all fellow-seekers in uttermost confidence so that I may know my mistakes and correct them - MAHATMA GANDHI

by Rangashree Srinivas

The best thing about the Mahatma

was that he was human, completely

human. And yet he is known all

over the world as a great soul. He never

claimed himself to be infallible and ‘above’

all. In fact, he considered his whole life and

actions as a journey in spiritual evolution.

It is natural for man to make mistakes but

it is also important to be aware and learn

from them. Gandhi’s life is a guide for

every human being to live for a

higher purpose.

On October 2nd, we celebrate Gandhi

Jayanthi. This year it will be his 142nd

birth anniversary. Gandhian thoughts and

principles have a universal and timeless

value. Sixty-three years after his passing

and sixty-four years after independence,

the Gandhian spirit has at last taken hold

of the common Indian. Gandhigiri has

emerged as a popular movement offering a

glimmer of hope to a country tired of greed,

corruption and politics for personal gain.

What did Gandhi actually stand for? What

qualities of his can we hope to imbibe?

Can we nurture a better tomorrow by

following the Gandhian way? 8

MOHANDAS K. GANDHI IN 1946MARGARET BOURKE-WHITE, LIFE MAGAZINE © TIME INC

special

Parent Circle / October 201124

During the dark, dreary and cold days of winter, communities

across the globe unanimously get together to light up

memorable evenings through festivals and traditions. Though

electricity may have banished darkness forever, traditional

lights (candles and earthern lamps), and magical displays of

coloured lights bring in a lot of bonhomie, goodwill and cheer.

During this season, if pictures of the Earth were to be taken by

a wandering spacecraft, on most evenings, some part of the

Earth’s dark shadow would be specially illuminated!

by Smita Shenoy and Shashwathi Sandeep

Festival of Lights in IndiaOur glorious country’s diversity shines

through its myriad festivals but light is a

common factor uniting all classes and

communities pan India. While Deepavali

is the most important ‘Festival of lights’,

there are other festive days when many

communities light traditional lamps and

illuminate their houses. Here is a collation

of celebrations across India.

Deepavali Deepavali, also known by its shortened form Diwali, is an amalgamation of two words: Deepa (light) and vali (line). So Deepavali literally means a row of lights. In most parts of India, the skies turn into a giant canvas with a plethora of fireworks painting it in different hues. This year, it falls on October 26th.

UTTAR PRADESH T H E L E G E N D A N D C E L E B R A T I O N S

In Uttar Pradesh, the tradition of Dhanteras precedes Diwali by two days. During Dhanteras, people worship Goddess Lakshmi and new things are bought - ranging from clothes to household items.

On the second day of Dhanteras, the Yam ka diya (Yama’s lamp) is lit. The legend goes that the horoscope of the King Hima’s 16 year old son indicated that he would die of a snake bite, four days after his wedding. On the fourth day after the wedding, his wife did not allow him to sleep. She laid down all her ornaments at the entrance of her husband’s room and lit innumerable lamps all around the place. She kept reciting stories and singing songs. When Yama, the God of Death, came in the guise of the snake, he was blinded by the lights. He then climbed up on the top of the ornaments and listened to the princess all through the night. He could not enter the prince’s chamber. In the morning, he had to return to his abode and the young princess was able to save

cover story

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THE TAMIL SHAIVITES AND VAISHNAVITES T H E L E G E N D

Lord Krishna slew the evil rakshasa

(demon) Narakasura on that day. Diwali

is celebrated to mark this triumph of

good over evil. In addition, Vaishnavites

celebrate the festival to mark the birth

of Goddess Lakshmi, Lord Vishnu’s

consort, in an ocean of milk (Tamil: paal

kadal; Sanskrit: Ksheer sagar). Lakshmi

is the Goddess of happiness, prosperity

and wealth and praying to her fills the

household with riches and joy.

T H E C E L E B R A T I O N S Kutthu vilakkus (big metal lamps) are lit in the pooja room and trays laden with new clothes, fresh fruits, flowers, cash and jewels are kept here. Dried neem flowers, pepper, a pinch of turmeric and a red chilli are added to the oil prepared specifically for the massage before the bath, to remove negative energies. The ritual of applying a little oil on the head, and sindoor and turmeric on one’s feet (nalangu) is done by the mother or seniormost lady in the house. This is followed by singing of a hymn bestowing auspiciousness on all. Devotees then take an elaborate oil bath, using Ganga Jal (a little Ganga water is mixed into the bath water). All members consume the deepavali marundu (a special medicine to aid digestion) after this. They then partake of an elaborate traditional Deepavali feast. Lighting lamps on the threshold of the house is an integral part of the celebrations, though the Tamilians prefer to light myriad diyas during Karthigai Deepam, which coincides with the Dev Deepavali of Varanasi.

D E V O T E E S P E A K Uma Yogesh, Director, Thejomaya Centre of Excellence elaborates, “Light signifies the loss of ignorance and the gaining of knowledge. Lamps dispel the darkness both from the house and from the recesses of our minds. Besides lighting lamps, I also seek the blessings of all the elders of my

immediate family and my extended family.” For her son Shashank, 15, the best part of Deepavali comes at night when he bursts crackers with aplomb.

Kindergarten teacher Veda says, “Our family members do not believe in wasting money on crackers as they say it is like turning money into ash. We do anna daanam (feeding the poor) for some of the underprivileged people of the society on this day and their happiness gives us tremendous satisfaction.”

THE MAHARASHTRIANS T H E L E G E N D The Maharashtrians, like the Vaishnavites, celebrate Deepavali to welcome Goddess Lakshmi into their homes.

T H E C E L E B R A T I O N S

Diwali is almost as big as Ganesh Chaturthi in Maharashtra. The festivities last for ten days with the last day being Lakshmi Pooja. The Gujaratis, especially the business community, who form a significant part of the populace of the state of Maharashtra do the Chopri Pooja. Chopri means account book and the people keep away the old book and start a new one with a token transaction to announce the beginning of a new commercial year. For Gujaratis, the New Year (Bestuvaras) begins the day after Diwali. Both these communities and the North Indians celebrate the Dhanteras and the Bhau Beej (which celebrates the brother-sister relationship), before and after Diwali.

D E V O T E E S P E A K Educational counsellor Mala Kuppuswamy, who has spent 32 years in Maharashtra says, “The sanctum sanctorum in temples become a spectacle to behold as colourful diyas8

her husband from death. This is the reason that the Yam Deep is kept alive throughout the night.

During the Diwali festival, the houses are elaborately decorated with lit-up candles, lamps and electric lights. The women of the house apply mehendi (henna decoration on hands and feet) and draw rangoli (geometric floor designs) in front of the house. The curtains are changed and the house is white washed. “The people of Ayodhya had cleaned their houses and made it look as good as new to welcome Ram and Sita who were coming back after a 14 year exile to ascend the throne,” explains Sarvesh Upadhyay, a resident of Allahabad. Diyas (lamps) made of clay are lit outside the houses.

The evening pooja (prayer) is the most important as this is the actual beginning of the festival. “The pooja is performed according to the time specified by the pundit and all family members have to attend this. Both Lakshmi and Ganeshji are worshipped, one for wealth and the other for intelligence,” explained Sarvesh. People place small diyas on gold or silver thalis (plates), put a tilak (red mark) on the plate and place it in the pooja room. Diyas are lit in every room and outside too.

Varanasi also celebrates Dev Deepavali on the Kartik Purnima day, 15 days after the actual Diwali. On this day, every house in Varanasi is lit with diyas. “We believe that on this day the Gods from heaven descend on earth and celebrate Diwali in Varanasi. It is also a tribute to River Ganga. The city looks beautiful with lakhs of diyas lit up throughout the city,” said Gautam Pandey, a resident of Varanasi.

C H I L D S P E A K “Every year I make it a point to be at my grandparents’ house in Delhi during Diwali because all family members gather together on the occasion and I have lots of fun with my cousins. The part I relish about Diwali is the bursting of crackers and eating the delicious homemade sweets and savouries,” says Ankur Sharma, 12, a student of Chettinaad Vidyashram.

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