non violent communication and agile: individuals and interactions over processes and tools
DESCRIPTION
A general introduction into non violent communication and with a lead in on how it relates to Agile. This pack goes through the basics of NVC - the intent, the framework (observation, feeling, need, request), strategies, example questions and general ethos of NVC. Content is taken from my foundation training course and Dr Rosenberg's book. Content presented at the open space session at Agile Tour 2013 with the assistance of Shari Elle.TRANSCRIPT
Flowers for my table over air for
my lungs
Non violentcommunication:
Renee Troughton
Individuals and interactions…
What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.
“
“
Dr Marshall Rosenberg, Founder of
NVC
What Is Non Violent Communication (NVC)?
What Is Non Violent Communication (NVC)?
Jackals
He’s a good sonI’m late
because I got stuck in
traffic
If you eat all your dinner
than you can get dessert
Giraffes
A jackal is just a giraffe with a language
problem
Observation
Feeling
Need
Request
What is an observation ?
What is a feeling?
What is a feeling?AfraidApprehensiveFrightenedPanickedPetrifiedSuspiciousTerrifiedWaryWorried
AnnoyedExasperatedFrustratedImpatientIrritated
AngryFuriousIndignantOutragedResentful
AversionAppalledContemptDisgustedHateHorrifiedRepulsed
ConfusedAmbivalentHesitantLostPerplexedPuzzledTorn
DisconnectedApatheticBoredColdDetachedDistractedNumbUninterested
DisquietAgitatedAlarmedDiscombobulatedDisturbedRattledShockedSurprisedTroubledTurbulentUncomfortableUneasyUnnervedUnsettledUpset
EmbarrassedAshamedGuiltyMortifiedSelf-conscious
FatigueDepletedExhaustedLethargicSleepyweary
PainAgonyDevastatedGriefHeartbrokenHurtLonelyMiserableRemorseful
SadDepressedDespairDisappointedDiscouragedHopelessUnhappy
TenseAnxiousCrankyDistressedEdgyIrritableNervousOverwhelmed
VulnerableFragileHelplessInsecureSensitiveShaky
YearningJealousWistful
What is a need?AutonomyChoice of goalsChoice of planFreedomIndependenceIntegrityPresenceSpaceSpontaneity
CelebrationCreation of lifeDreams fulfilledLosses
IntegrityAuthenticityCreativityMeaningSelf-worth
InterdependenceAcceptanceAffection
InterdependenceAppreciationAwarenessBelongingClosenessCommunityCompanionshipCompassionConsiderationConnectionCooperationContributionEmotional safetyEmpathyEqualityHonestyInclusionLoveMutualityReassuranceRespectSupportTrustUnderstandingWarmth
MeaningAwarenessClarityCompetenceConsciousnessContributionCreativityEfficacyEffectivenessGrowthHopeLearningTo MatterMourningParticipationPurposeSelf ExpressionUnderstanding
Rest & PlayChallengeMasteryEaseEnjoymentFunJoyHumourLaughterLearningRelaxationSponteneityStimulation
Safety & HealthPhysical safetyEmotional safetySecurityStabilityPredictabilitySupport
SpiritualBeautyCommunionHarmonyInspirationOrderPeace
NurtureAirFoodExerciseNurturingProtectionRestSafetySexualShelterTouchWarmthWater
What is a request?
“Would you be willing to…”
What is a request?
What is a request?“Our conflicts arise not because we have
different needs but because we have different strategies for how to meet them.”
Expressing NVC
When I see* (observation),I’m (feeling)
Because I want (need).Would you be willing to (request)?
Receiving NVC
When you see* (observation),do you feel (feeling)
Because you are needing (need).Would you like (action)?
Want more?
Shari Ellefullyalive.com.au
Creating empathetic connections, Connecting with our self,
Appreciation/praise, protective force… and more
Questions?
unbounddna.com
theagilerevolution.com
agileforest.com
@agilerenee
Renee Troughton
leanpub.com\AgileForest
Connecting with my
REQUEST
Connecting with my
NEED
Connecting with my
FEELING
Connecting with my
OBSERVATION
Listening to my
JACKAL
EXPRESSING
SENSING
RECEIVING