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No To Violence Male Family Violence Prevention Association (NTV) Inc.Training Policy development Resources Sector advocacy Community education

AS SIMILAR AS IT IS DIFFERENT – QUALITY RESPONSES TO ADOLESCENTS WHO USE

VIOLENCE TOWARDS FAMILY MEMBERS

Danny BlayNo To Violence & Men’s Referral Service


NO TO VIOLENCE MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE PREVENTION ASSOCIATION (NTV) INC.

• Peak body for Victorian men’s behaviour change programs

• Advocacy, policy development, and resources in the field of male family violence prevention

• Standards of practice for working with men who use family violence

• Men’s Referral Service, the primary telephone counselling and referral service for men in Victoria who use violence towards family members


STANDARDS FOR RUNNING MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS

• 1995 – Publication of Stopping Men’s Violence In The Family: A Manual for Running Men’s Groups, Volume 1: Context and Standards

• 2005 – Revised (Men’s Behaviour Change Group Work: Minimum Standards and Quality Practice)

• Standards endorsed by Victorian Department of Human Services

• Compulsory adherence for all DHS-funded men’s behaviour change programs (and all members of NTV who provide direct services)


MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS (JANUARY 2013)

Melbourne Metropolitan Regional Victoria

BayswaterBoroniaBox HillEppingFrankston (2)HeidelbergHoppers CrossingHughesdaleKew

LilydaleMelbourneMeltonNarre Warren (2)SandringhamSouth Yarra *St KildaSunburySunshine** (2)

BairnsdaleBallaratBendigoBroadfordEchucaGeelongHealesvilleHorshamLeongatha

MilduraMorwell(2)*** PakenhamRosebudSheppartonWangarattaWarrnamboolWodongaWonthaggi

* Gay Men’s Behaviour Change Program** Vietnamese Men’s Behaviour Change Program*** Koori Men’s Behaviour Change ProgramAlso Family Violence Court Division Intervention Programs – Ballarat & Heidelberg Magistrates’ Courts


SYSTEMS RESPONSES – ADOLESCENTS

• Members of NTV/adhere to statewide standards of practice:– Behaviour change programs – only 7– Individual counsellors – only 12

• Many other types of responses (other individual practitioners, youth workers, etc) but who knows what informs their practice? Is it safe?

• No formal referral pathways


MEN’S BEHAVIOUR CHANGE PROGRAMS /ANGER MANAGEMENT

• Anger = emotion; violence = behaviour

• Anger Management: violence caused by inability to control emotions which can cause violence

• Men’s Behaviour Change Programs: violence is a choice and a means to use power over others. Men are responsible for all behaviours and choose to use, or not use, violence.


MEN’S REFERRAL SERVICE

• Victorian statewide service• 9am – 9pm weekdays• Wholly funded by Department of Human Services• Anonymous, confidential, and free telephone

counselling, information and referral primarily for men who use violence or abuse towards family members

• Now includes weekend After Hours Service (handling direct referrals from Victoria Police)

• (2011-12 – 2% of calls from people under the age of 20)• (Need to consider how other telephone counselling

services/referring agencies consider AVITH and how this informs their responses and decisions about referrals)


WHY DO THEY USE VIOLENCE? SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE AND AVITH• Mostly men (adult and adolescent) towards women

(partner/mother)• They can, and it works• Using power over another (or others) to gain advantage

– Sense of entitlement– ‘Benefits’: cash, other financial entitlements (credit/debit cards,

phone bills, etc), ‘room service’ – Fewer/no contributions to or participation within household– Freedom?– Entrenched/learned attitudes – use of power– Permission to act like ‘real men’/‘grown-ups’

• Lack of empathy• The behaviour and experience is secret – unlikely to be

disclosed/reported


WHY DO THEY USE VIOLENCE? SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE AND AVITH• Sometimes supported by others

– Men’s denigration of women (in front of children) – Men eliciting support of others (own children) to denigrate women – Potentially father uses violence towards mother– Social commentary about women in general– Social acceptance/celebration of power and violence

• Person experiencing violence– Not always likely to report it– Isolation; ‘unique’ experience– Helplessness (“It’s just the way he is…”)– Taking responsibility (“There must be something wrong with me”, “I’m a bad

partner/parent”)– Blamed for the experience (“You need to put your foot down; you’re too soft”)– Not believed– Concern about ‘outing’ person using violence – impact on them (education,

career, legal/police, Child Protection)


WHY DO THEY USE VIOLENCE? POTENTIAL DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MALE FAMILY VIOLENCE AND AVITH

• Evidence regarding brain development in adolescence seems to indicate that young people are more likely than adults to miss emotional cues and to respond emotionally themselves. – Cate Medcraft (Canterbury Community Health Centre NSW) advocates

for heightened awareness of the ways that brain development might impact on how young people respond to conflict

– Consider adolescents’ capacity to separate ‘emotion’ and ‘behaviour’ compared to adult men

• Research around exposure to violence and trauma can affect children’s brain development

• Potential for adolescents having recently or currently experiencing violence from adult male within the family – might be necessary to work with notions of victimisation as well as perpetration concurrently


PRACTICE PRINCIPLES FOR BEHAVIOUR CHANGE WORK WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS WHO ARE VIOLENT TO FAMILY MEMBERS

• Maintain an awareness of issues of the misuse of power and control at all times• Expect men/adolescents to take responsibility for their own behaviour at all

times• Violence is ALWAYS a choice• Never openly or covertly locate responsibility for the violence with those who

have been victims of violence• Realistic and practical approaches to changing their behaviour (eg ‘Time Out’

strategies; GRIPP program)• Invitational approaches • Aiming for better (safer) connectivity with others (family, friends)• Requirement for standards of practice – consistency in service delivery; safety

of response• Need for consistent professional development and training• Integration with broader family violence sector


CONVERSING WITH A MAN OR ADOLESCENTABOUT HIS POTENTIAL USE OF VIOLENCE

• Why is it necessary to talk about this?• What are the potential benefits?• What are the potential barriers?• What are the potential dangers?


BENEFITS

• Providing opportunities to disclose• Demonstrating you (and others) care (about the

person using violence, his partner/parent, children/siblings)

• Introducing concepts of the impact of the behaviour towards others – empathy

• Potential for them to start taking responsibility and change

• Potential for successful referral• Potential for increased safety of women and children


BARRIERS

• Resistance, minimisation, justification, blame, denial• Scope – “it’s not my job”?• Resources – staff, premises, time• Worker concerns about making things worse –

competence, expertise, experience• Safety of partner if person using violence knows about

disclosure or is attending same service• Staff safety• Agency responses to minors – requiring parental

consent? Both? (Consider Family Court orders)


DANGERS

• Continue pattern of blame (towards partner/parent, workers, experience)

• Inadvertently support sexist, misogynist, or violence-supporting beliefs

• Feeding a sense of being a victim – of the partner/parent(s), of ‘the system’, of the courts, police, society

• Invitations to workers to collude with his use of violence

• Potential for workers to unknowingly collude


WORKING WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS WHO USE VIOLENCE: POTENTIAL FOR COLLUSION

Common responses by men when asked about violence:1. Minimisation – “It wasn’t that bad – it’s not like I hit

her…”2. Justification – “I’ve been really stressed/I just get so

angry/Everyone has arguments/It’s the way I am…”3. Blaming – “She pushes my buttons/nags/starts it…”4. Denial – “It didn’t happen – she/they made it up!”What is the man/adolescent inviting you to do when he offers you denial, minimisation, justification, and victim blaming?Why is collusion potentially dangerous?


WORKING WITH MEN/ADOLESCENTS: ENGAGEMENT WITHOUT COLLUSION –

LEARNING FROM MBCPS

Collusion by workers/professionals:• Inadvertently worker (or someone in

‘authority’) says something to collude (“so you didn’t hit her?”)

• Worker says nothing – more likely to collude – seen as supportive. Always need to challenge.

• (Difference between collusion and empathic support or building rapport)


REFUSING THE INVITATION TO COLLUDE

KEY PRINCIPLEBuild rapport, demonstrate empathy, BUT:– Address the behaviour, not the person.– Keep responsibility for the behaviour with the

man/adolescent using violence. This means not accepting any denial, minimisation, justification, excuses, or invitations to collude.

– Prioritise the impact of the violence rather than the types of violence.

– Define quality practice in this space.


WORKING WITH ADULT MEN AND ADOLESCENTS WHO USE VIOLENCE – THE DIFFERENCES

This all sounds great, but…• Consequences to violence

– A man in his mid 30s with children, mortgage, career…– A 16 year-old at school…

• Consistency in police/legal responses• Agreement within and outside of the family violence sector

about what responses should look like• Capacity to separate adolescents from parent(s)/carer(s)

(eg Family Violence Safety Notice)• Tendency for some to pathologise young people’s

behaviours (ADHD?)


SUMMING UP – WHAT WE NEED

• Agreement about what quality responses to AVITH should look like

• Standards of practice• Accredited training• Clarity around the similarities and differences

between adult male family violence and AVITH• Clear direction re identification, assessment and

referral


CONTACT DETAILS

Men’s Referral ServiceFreecall (Vic. only) 1800 065 973Local call (03) 9428 2899www.mrs.org.au

No To Violence03 9428 3536

PO Box 3022 Victoria Gardens RICHMOND VIC 3121

www.ntv.org.au

no to violence male family violence prevention association (ntv) inc. training policy development...

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