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12 Commandments of the Revolution

by AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 4 COMMENTS

―To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most peopleexist, that is all.‖

-Oscar Wilde

Milk the Pigeon is a very small part of a larger

movement. It‘s part of the ―quit doing shit you hate‖movement.It‘s part of the ―if your job sucks, quit it‖ movement. And it‘s part of the ―if this is my only life, whythe hell would I spend it doing things I hate?‖ movement.That‘s why, as best I can, I try to write some posts thatserve as a code to live by for people in this new

movement.I‘ve talked about living a life that‘s conversation worthy . And I‘ve talked about stopping doing stuff you hate, anddoing what you enjoy with your life, in my ebook KillingYour Old Life and Living the Dream. This post is yet another code of honor to live by, written by one fish in a large pond who is tired of seeing time fly by but so many people remaining miserable.

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The following 12 principles, I hope, will provide somefood for thought regarding how to make every day like your last.

#1 Thou shalt not live someone else’sdream

―I am not in this world to live up to other people‘sexpectations,

nor do I feel that the world must live up to mine.‖ -Fritz Perls

The first rule of getting a life that doesn‘t suck is this:live life how you want to, not how someone (oreveryone) else wants you to.That goes for:

College graduates who are now doing what theirparents (or society) expect them to

People who have ‗gifts‘ that everyone tells them they should capitalize on

People in general who are tired of what they aredoing, and are doing the ―correct, expected‖ thing butaren‘t realizing any fruit or happiness from it

I see so many of my friends in life paths that they don‘t want to be in. It‘s just expected of them, so they assumeit‘s right.

Multiple friends work financial jobs, multiple friends are becoming doctors, multiple friends are becominglawyers. How many of them actually want what they‘redoing? I think 1.

The rest are just thinking this: ―Ehhh it‘s alright, it‘ll get

the job done.‖



Don‘t do that.

#2 Thou shalt not live vicariously

through others―You only live once, but if you work it right, once is

enough.‖ -Mae West

It amazes me time and time again that people casually say they live vicariously through someone.

It‘s like watching a James Bond movie and wishing youcould be him – and actually being him. There is nocomparison.It‘s like watching someone doing what they enjoy and wishing you could quit your shitty, meaningless job – and actually doing something meaningful to you.There is no comparison.

Stop living vicariously through others, and start doingexactly what you want with your time here.

After a year has passed, what are you going to have toshow for it? If ―exactly what I have right now, and I‘mstill unhappy‖ is what you‘re going to answer, you might want to set aside time and ponder your life.

# 3 Thou shalt not live a life thatsucks without making a change

―Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to thegrave with the song still in them.‖

-Henry David Thoreau

It sounds pretty obvious to not live a life you don‘t enjoy, but most people do just that.



We do jobs we dislike. We go home, and instead of doingsomething worthwhile we watch TV. On the weekend wedrink beer with friends and watch more tv.

Years pass, and nothing except our waistlines haschanged.

There is no reason why you can‘t enjoy 100% of what you do every day. Wake up when you want, work when you want, work on what you want, find challenges ineverything you do, make life an adventure day after day

after day.

If something in your life makes you miserable day afterday, or even if you just aren‘t sure about something – stop it. And then figure out what you are sure about. Ipersonally put ―I hate‖ and ―I‘m not sure‖ in the samecategory. They are the ―everything except what I know I want‖ category.

The only difference is this:

Quit shit you hate.

Explore things you aren‘t sure about.

That goes for work, friends, where you live, how youspend your time, whether or not you enjoy what you‘re

doing.. if any facet of your life isn‘t enjoyable, changeit for chrissakes and quit putting yourself throughunnecessary hell.

# 4 Thou shalt not be afraid of theunknown

―Every man, through fear, mugs his aspirations adozen times a day.‖



-Brendan Francis

Monotony is a soul crusher for some people. For me, it‘snot necessarily monotony that makes life boring – butthe predictability associate with monotony. When I lived in China for a year life was amplified by 1000. The fear, the fun, the rate of learning, thefreshness, the excitement. It was like 10 years packedinto one year, both memory-wise as well as learning- wise. And it‘s boldness that is the gift of freedom in escaping

monotony. Any time you have a choice betweenroutine and <anything else>, take the anything else.

I really mean that.

If you have the choice between doing what you do every day (even if you enjoy it) and doing something fresh,take the ―something new I‘ll actually remember at the

end of the week.‖

If someone asks to go out to dinner, or to an art exhibit,or to rock climbing.. never refuse. Deliberately choosingto do anything to go beyond routine will be the singlegreatest way to make your life interesting to yourself again.

And boldness – the gift of trying new things despite thefear and uncertainty – is what drives that.

Be bold. Change your world.

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# 5 Thou shalt not deliberately be boring

―Boring is already taken. You have no choice but to beawesome.‖

-???

Seth Godin loves talking about creative marketing andstanding out. And one thing I liked about his book Purple Cow was when he talked about what makescertain things unique.

First things first, obvious – good service is the bareminimum these days. It‘s expected. It‘s expected that your airplane is going to take off and land in one piece.

It‘s unexpected, aka extra-ordinary, that you‘ll get amassage and free champagne with your plane ticket, andthat‘ll ―wow‖ somebody.

Along the lines of standing out, he talked about how everything plain and boring – vanilla ice cream, forexample – has already been invented. If you want toinvent ice cream flavors these days, you‘ve got to bemore creative to be extra-ordinary.

And what about people?

Boring is already taken. You have no choice but to beawesome.

The main reason I recommend deliberately not being boring is not so that you can impress or woo others, butso that you can be interesting to yourself. Beinginteresting to yourself is a sign of accomplishment,

knowing that you are at least somewhat invested in yourown life and not living vicariously through another.



#6 Thou Shalt not wait untilretirement to have all your fun

―In the Deferred Life Plan there will always be another prize to covet, another distraction, a new hunger to

sate. You will forever come up short.‖ -Randy Komisar

More and more people are realizing that waiting untillater to enjoy life not only is ashitty plan but alsodoesn‘t make sense. Let‘s wait until I‘m 65 to have fun, when I can‘t run, my

knees ache, and my prostate is like a watermelon. Pass.

Even young people, whose deferred life plan consists of working up the ranks of the corporate ladder so they canhave their high powered corporate job by 33, have thisillusion that they‘ll be able to live life once they < get /attain / receive > something.

Well, good luck to you.

But this new movement is about current, right-now enjoyment. It‘s about process, not product. It‘s aboutpeople who see waiting to enjoy life as pointless as itreally is.

There are a million and one ways and a million and one

reasons why you should be doing what youenjoy today and not at all waiting for ―some day overthe rainbow‖. That means (if you decide it‘s worth it), passing on thecorporate job (or quitting it) in favor or doing somethingelse for a year.

Spend a year off and invest yourself in skills andmemories rather than stuff. I promise, all the stuff

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(including the corporate job) will be there waiting for you when you get back.

# 7 Thou shalt not believe that ―TheGreats‖ are unique

―Those people that are crazy enough to think that theycan change the world – they‘re the ones that actually

do.‖ -Steve Jobs

Mediocre minds tends to associate with mediocreminds. The same is true for dreamers and high-achievers. And there is a reason for that; it‘s not merely coincidence.

99% of people have themselves fooled into believingthey are boring, unattractive, mediocre, anduninspiring… so they are.

It‘s just like the super hot girl at the bar. 99% of guyshave themselves fooled into thinking, ―Man I wonder what kind of guy gets that girl?‖ And she‘s often theloneliest girl in the bar.

People see hugely successful people and think ―well, thatperson has something special about her,‖ or ―she is onein a million,‖ or ―she has resources that I don‘t have.‖

Quit comparing yourself and believing that the famous, well-respected, or high-achieving are one in amillion. Greatness is made, not born.

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# 8 Thou shalt not blame others, foranything

―The best years of your life are the ones in which you

decide your problems are your own. You do not blamethem on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You

realize that you control your own destiny.‖ -Albert Ellis

If your life is not where you want it to be – you acceptresponsibility for it.

It‘s not a matter of who is right or wrong, and it‘s not amatter of playing the blame game or not.

It‘s a matter of perceived control. If you think thatothers are the source of your issues, you are powerless.

If you blame yourself and only yourself, you are in

control, and everything in your life is your decision as to whether or not you want to change it.

But the reality of blame is that it‘s cowardly and shiesfrom responsibility – if you want change because youhate something in your life, grow some stones andchange it. It won‘t magically happen otherwise.

# 9 Thou shalt not lose motivation

over failure

―Success is the best revenge.‖ -Frank Sinatra

I‘m not going to be all fine and dandy when I say ―failureis great for experience, which someone can never takeaway!‖

Because it‘s not totally true.

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Failure sucks, no doubt about it.

I can guarantee that most people who have failed a lot before they succeeded would rather have succeeded thefirst time – if it were possible.

But there are two methods of thinking about failure.

The first? You get experience from failure.

The second? Failure is a motivator because you decided

on day 1 you are going to do whatever it takes tosucceed. And failure makes you want to prove yourself even more.

# 10 Thou shalt not work for the―what‖ in your life, but the ―why‖

―People don‘t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.‖

-Simon Sinek

We always remember folk heroes for some reason. Andthat some reason is not that they were the most fearlessfighter in history, the biggest badass, or the person whoconquered the most villages – we remember them because they stood for something.

William Wallace, Robin Hood, Guy Fawkes. Do any of usreally remember the details of what they did, or do weremember why they were doing what they did?Principles, ideas, and purposes go beyond people – thepeople become secondary to the story.

Like in one of the last scenes of V for Vendetta, when

asked why he won‘t die (after being repeatedly shot), heanswers:

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―Beneath thi s mask there is more than flesh. Beneaththis mask there is an idea,

Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.― The paradox of ideas is that ideas don‘t necessarily needpeople, but people are infinitely more powerful with anidea behind them.

If you have a why behind you in life, a code of honor,a reason behind your life, you are powerful beyond your wildest imagination.

# 11 Thou shalt not hope, desire or wish without accompanying action

―The person who risks nothing, does nothing, hasnothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may

avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learnand feel and change and grow and love and live.‖

-Leo Buscaglia

Statements about dreams usually are only 50% of theequation, and they go like this: Dream big.

But dreaming big by itself does nothing.

Just like I don‘t believe that most million dollarcompanies come from million dollar ideas, dreams aloneare important, but the other 50% of the equation that isneglected is taking action. Yeah, it‘s insulting and logical, but so many people think that the dream will fuel you to see everything through.It‘ll probably fuel you for a day or two, and then you‘llstart to putt and stutter. And then one day you‘ll findinspiration again for a day or two. And then it wanders

off…

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This sort of oscillation is natural for inspiration, which is why y ou can‘t just rely on dreaming big. You need torely on having a solid game plan to see you through theend. Don‘t ever wish something was different. Change it.

# 12 Thou shalt not work towardsnothing and hope that your ―career‖ will save you or ―things will work out‖

‖Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torment of man.‖

-Friedrich Nietzsche

The driven / focused / not lost people my age have acute excuse they like to use. When I ask what they arecurrently doing with their life, they say, ― I‘m focusing on

my career.‖ Hehe. Focusing on your career, eh? Sounds like anexcuse for just working and not putting any thought into what you‘re doing, or any thought into how you want to be spending your very short time on earth.

Don‘t make the same mistake.

It‘s like going to graduate school because you think you‘re buying yourself time (very very expensive time). You‘re not, you‘re wasting it, collecting credentials (+debt) and are still spinning your wheels while trying todeceive everyone around you that you‘ve got your shittogether.

And don‘t assume that ―things will work out as they should.‖ This silly lazy motto is adopted by people who,

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again, are terrified of serious introspection and don‘thave the willingness to look themselves in the mirrorand ask what they want from life.

As a creed I hope will unconsciously be adopted by people all over the world, remember this: don’t spendtime doing ―nothing‖, just for the sake of doing―something‖.Spend time doing something that matters to you.Because that‘s how you make a dent in the world, that‘show you change the course of human civilization, and

that‘s how you die knowing your time has mattered here.

This is Milk the Pigeon‘s motto: Live Life Boldly. Don‘tever forget it –

Young and Lost? You Are Not Alone.


‖ We are the lost generation.‖

I was struck by a business insiderarticle the other day, called ―This is what millions of young people in China and India REALLY think .‖ A photographer, Adrian Fisk, traveled all over China and

India interviewing youth wondering what they thoughtabout life.

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His project, iSpeak, started in China in 2008 andeventually moved into India as it gained momentum.

He simply asked each person he randomly chose to write what they thought about life, about their future, andabout their purpose.

The responses are more than interesting, and are anincredible reminder that you probably aren‘t alone in your thinking, no matter the age.

First, check out some of the images Adrian took:

Materialism

―I‘m worrying something. Girls in China is becomingmaterialistic. Without house, my girlfriend would not

marry me‖

Destiny And Control



Lack of Control



Translation: After I watch TV I have a lot of thoughts

and ideas, but have no way of achieving them.

Live Your Life



Rat Race



Happiness.



Illiterate. What she said: ―Like you, we need the same

things in life.‖



Pressure, expectations, and criticism.



There‘s obviously a trend here, yeah? Interview a bunch

of young Americans and you‘re very, very likely to getsimilar responses.

So what are the trends here? What assumptions can wemake about our own youth?

1. There‘s a lot of pressure for expected life routes, andfor tangible, material achievement



2. Lots of us feel powerless and in the grip of the handsof fate, rather than empowered

3. Feelings of hopelessness – the general perceptionregarding dreams is that ―they are impossible toachieve.‖ Impossible to escape the rat race.

But that, to me, raises a curious point.

If one assumes that we each are one of the images above,then we are probably feeling one of the following:

Powerlessness. I can‘t control my future so I‘m not

going to plan for my future Dispirited. I have a lots of thoughts, dreams, and

ideas, but know I can never achieve them. Boldness. Live your life, you may die tomorrow. Jaded. Even if you win the rat race you‘re still a rat. Pressure, expectations, and criticism. I‘m supposed to

live a certain life path, and if I don‘t, I am openingmyself up to massive criticism

But something is missing here. I don’t see asingle dreamer in that list.I don‘t see someone saying, ―life is tough as hell rightnow, but I‘m working on bigthings. I‘ve got this visionfor the future, and I‘m working towards it.‖ The closestone I found was the girl saying ―Live your life, you may die tomorrow.‖ Boldness is crucial to success, no doubt about it. But if the above youth are reflections, even tiny indicators, of the thought processes of today‘s youth, we are in for ascary future.My unfortunate take on this all is still this: thegeneration of dreamers is dead. Today‘s youth have become lifeless, lost, and purpose-less to a certain extent.

We no longer strive to live a conversation-worthy life.

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We no longer want to work hard for things we love.

And we no longer believe we can realize the thoughtsand visions in our head.

But this has to change, because the world was neverchanged without big dreams and bold action.

So if you are dis-spirited & broken,If you are feeling hopeless, lost, and without a purpose,remember this:

You are not alone. This Is What Millions Of Young People In China AndIndia REALLY ThinkMeredith Galante | Oct. 13, 2011, 6:04 PM | 1,022,531 | 43

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Adrian Fisk Photographer Adrian Fisk traveled 2,700 kilometers across China and India to discover thatmost young people are, in essence, exactly the same.

While living in India, Fisk realized he knew nothing about young people in the nearby country ofChina, and neither did anyone else in India. Fisk dug deeper into the subject and came acrossthe staggering fact that there are 1.2 billion people under the age of 30 years old in China andIndia.

"I wanted to find out what these young people thought," said Fisk, 41, who is currently inLondon. "If I found out what was in these people's minds, I figured I would get an idea of whereour world is headed at this pivotal time."

Fisk wanted his project to be a voice for these young people that the rest of the world knew littleabout.

Click here to see the photos >

He started his photo project "iSpeak" in China in 2008. The project consists of portraits ofChinese men and women between the ages of 16 and 30 in their natural environments. Eachwould hold up a white sign on which they would write a message expressing their worldviews ordesires.

In 2010, Fisk expanded the iSpeak project to India. In the meantime, the project went viral back

in China as blogs and major media outlets started discussing its significance.

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The United Nations Population Fund is now supporting the project, which will be called iSpeakGlobal. Fisk hopes to expand to 25 countries, starting in Africa next.

The 25 countries are all relevant to the 21st century in political, economical and social ways andwhen the project is completed, the exhibition will go on tour. There are also plans to publish abook with all of the portraits.

Currently, Fisk is in London seeking additional fundraising from companies for the continuationof the project. He has been kind enough to share some images with us, but be sure to check outthe full collection at AdrianFisk.com.

THE PROCESS

As Fisk traveled across China during a 30-day period with a translator in tow, he randomlyselected people he saw on the streets, on farms, or seated next to him at a cafe, and askedthem to be part of his project.

At first, he said, most of the Chinese would respond, "what would you like me to write?"

"The Chinese struggle with freedom of expression," Fisk said. "I then said, 'No, this is aboutyou.'"

The answer was typically: "China's a great country and I want to be rich." This was anunacceptable answer to Fisk, because all 1.2 billion people would respond that way.

He then probed his subjects asking, "What were you thinking about two hours ago?" "What willyou be doing tomorrow?" "What is your relationship with your parents like?"

Sometimes these conversations would last two hours, and once the subject's mind was buzzing,they'd have a truly original thought to write down.

One of the more powerful messages to Fisk was from a 22-year-old software engineeringstudent named Rainbow Su. Su wrote on his card, "I am worrying something. Girls in China isbecoming materialistic, without house my girlfriend would not marry me. My parents cannot helpme either. So I need to get good job with high payment, that's what I totally want."

"It just goes to show how increasingly materialistic and consumer driven China is," Fisk said.

During his journey, Fisk came across illiterate people who couldn't write for themselves, but stillhad something to share. He dealt with this challenge by asking those people to hold up blankposters, which made for an "even more powerful political message," Fisk said. Then, Fisk wrotedown what they wanted to say for his captions and included them in the project that way.

"Everyone has something to say," Fisk said. "Just because you don't know how to write, doesn'tmean you can't take part in the project. ... It's even more important these people, who don'thave a voice on any level, participate."

As Fisk finished his project, he reflected on the trust he built with his subjects. He referred tohimself as a "strange white bloke" who came up to them, tapped them on their shoulder andasked about their inner most thoughts.

"Whether you're in rural China or New York City, you begin to realize over time looking throughthese photographs that the essence of humanity remains the same," Fisk said. "We all want agood life, to get ahead, we want love. That's a part of the essence of the project. It isunderstanding who we are and that we're not so different."







Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/united-nations-supports-ispeak-china-india-adrian-

fisk-2011-10?op=1#ixzz2QTDJFif6

Amazon's Letter To Shareholders Should Inspire EveryCompany In AmericaHenry Blodget | Apr. 14, 2013, 10:06 AM | 9,227 | 18

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Late last week, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos published his latest letter to shareholders.

This year's letter, like most of Bezos's letters, should inspire most companies to change the waythey do business.

Specifically, it should inspire companies to do business the way Amazon does business — sacrificing this year's profits to invest in long-term customer loyalty and product opportunitiesthat will create bigger profits next year and for years thereafter .

The way most companies do business is to focus primarily on today's bottom line: Theprevailing ethos in corporate America, after all, is that companies exist to make money for their

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owners — and the more and the sooner the better — so every decision should be made in thecontext of that.

The result of this is that many (most?) companies scrimp on things like long-term investments,customer service, product quality, and employee compensation, in the interest of delivering afew more pennies to this quarter's bottom line.

FRED/Business Insider

American profit margins just hit an all-time high.This obsession with short-term profits has helped produce the unhealthy and destabilizingsituation that now afflicts the U.S. economy:

The profit margins of America's corporations are now higher than they ever have been inhistory, while the employee wages paid by America's corporations are the lowest they have everbeen in history. Meanwhile, a smaller percentage of America's adults are working than at anytime since the late 1970s.

Since the wages that America's corporations pay Americans become revenue for otherAmerican companies (most consumers spend pretty much every penny they earn), this fire-your-way-to-prosperity mentality is myopic short-term thinking at its worst.

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Business Insider, St. Louis Fed

American wages just hit an all-time low.So it's inspiring to see a striking example of success from a company that has never put short-term profits ahead of long-term investment and value creation.

Over the course of its spectacular 17-year history, Amazon has always put customers, andinvesting for the long-term, first.

Time and time again, for example, Amazon has voluntarily and proactively cut prices to increaseits value to its customers. It has invested in technology and customer service practices thatstartle and delight customers and create long-term loyalty. It has made big, bold bets that hadrelatively low odds of paying off.

In so doing, Amazon has frequently and brazenly disappointed the short-term investors whotend to dominate Wall Street, investors who forever grumble that Amazon should be "makingmore money."

And, in so doing, Amazon has built one of the most dominant, enduring,and valuable enterprises that the Internet boom has yet produced.

Meanwhile many other promising companies that rode the Internet wave have stumbled, in partbecause they put too much emphasis on short-term profitability and failed to invest enough inlong-term value creation. (Think AOL, Yahoo, eBay, Microsoft, and, most recently, Apple.)

America's obsession with short-term profitability has become so pervasive in our culture thateven outside observers — journalists, for example — often snicker about Amazon's relativelylow profit margins.

They should not be snickering.

They should be applauding.

And they should be encouraging other American corporations to follow Amazon's inspiring lead— to invest more of today's profits in tomorrow's opportunities, product development, customerloyalty, and dedicated employees.

Yes, if more corporations choose to do this, their stocks might temporarily drop.

But over the long haul, their stocks should do better than they would have done if the mainmission of their enterprise remained to pile up more cash on the balance sheet. (See Apple'sstock if you don't believe this.)

Bezos explains it this way:

Our heavy investments in Prime, AWS, Kindle, digital media, and customer experience ingeneral strike some as too generous, shareholder indifferent, or even at odds with being a for-profit company. ―Amazon, as far as I can tell, is a charitable organization being run by elementsof the investment community for the benefit of consumers,‖ writes one outside observer.

But I don‘t think so.

To me, trying to dole out improvements in a just-in-time fashion would be too clever by half. Itwould be risky in a world as fast-moving as the one we all live in.

More fundamentally, I think long-term thinking squares the circle. Proactively delightingcustomers earns trust, which earns more business from those customers, even in new businessarenas. Take a long-term view, and the interests of customers and shareholders align.

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http://www.businessinsider.com/blackboard/microsoft










"Take a long-term view, and the interests of customers and shareholders align."

That's the money quote. That's the philosophy that has made Amazon so successful. That's thephilosophy that more American corporations need to embrace and understand.

Bezos's full letter is below.

(Note: An early reader of this letter, Peter Kafka of All Things D, pointed out that, much to mysurprise, Bezos actually quotes an article I wrote that praised a small Amazon customer-serviceinvestment that benefitted me personally. I have linked the quote to the original article below.Jeff Bezos also recently invested in Business Insider, which was very exciting for us. Given this,if you want to dismiss this article as just mutual back-scratching, I understand. But I have madethe same argument for years. And it is true regardless.)

To our shareowners:

As regular readers of this letter will know, our energy at Amazon comes fromthe desire to impress customers rather than the zeal to best competitors. Wedon‘t take a view on which of these approaches is more likely to maximizebusiness success. There are pros and cons to both and many examples ofhighly successful competitor-focused companies. We do work to pay attention

to competitors and be inspired by them, but it is a fact that the customer-centricway is at this point a defining element of our culture.

One advantage – perhaps a somewhat subtle one – of a customer-driven focusis that it aids a certain type of proactivity. When we‘re at our best, we don‘t waitfor external pressures. We are internally driven to improve our services, addingbenefits and features, before we have to. We lower prices and increase valuefor customers before we have to. We invent before we have to. Theseinvestments are motivated by customer focus rather than by reaction tocompetition. We think this approach earns more trust with customers and drivesrapid improvements in customer experience – importantly – even in those areas

where we are already the leader.

―Thank you. Every time I see that white paper on the front page of Amazon, Iknow that I‘m about to get more for my money than I thought I would. I signedup for Prime for the shipping, yet now I get movies, and TV and books. Youkeep adding more, but not charging more. So thanks again for the additions.‖We now have more than 15 million items in Prime, up 15x since we launched in2005. Prime Instant Video selection tripled in just over a year to more than38,000 movies and TV episodes. The Kindle Owners‘ Lending Library has alsomore than tripled to over 300,000 books, including an investment of millions ofdollars to make the entire Harry Potter series available as part of that selection.

We didn‘t ―have to‖ make these improvements in Prime. We did so proactively.A related investment – a major, multi-year one – is Fulfillment by Amazon. FBA

http://allthingsd.com/20130412/henry-blodget-helps-jeff-bezos-out-with-some-writing/



http://www.businessinsider.com/why-amazon-is-one-of-the-most-successful-companies-in-the-world-2012-12


http://www.businessinsider.com/jeff-bezoss-investment-in-business-insider-the-boring-official-announcement-2013-4








gives third-party sellers the option of warehousing their inventory alongside oursin our fulfillment center network. It has been a game changer for our sellercustomers because their items become eligible for Prime benefits, which drivestheir sales, while at the same time benefitting consumers with additional Primeselection.

We build automated systems that look for occasions when we‘ve provided acustomer experience that isn‘t up to our standards, and those systems thenproactively refund customers. One industry observer recently received anautomated email from us that said, ―We noticed that you experienced poor video playback while watching the following rental on Amazon Video OnDemand: Casablanca. We‘re sorry for the inconvenience and have issued you arefund for the following amount: $2.99. We hope to see you again soon.‖Surprised by the proactive refund, he ended up writing about the experience:―Amazon ‗noticed that I experienced poor video playback…‘ And they decidedto give me a refund because of that? Wow…Talk about putting customers first.‖

[Here's the original article.]

When you pre-order something from Amazon, we guarantee you the lowestprice offered by us between your order time and the end of the day of therelease date. ―I just received notice of a $5 refund to my credit card for pre-order price protection. . . What a great way to do business! Thank you verymuch for your fair and honest dealings.‖ Most customers are too busythemselves to monitor the price of an item after they pre-order it, and our policycould be to require the customer to contact us and ask for the refund. Doing itproactively is more expensive for us, but it also surprises, delights, and earnstrust.

We also have authors as customers. Amazon Publishing has just announced itwill start paying authors their royalties monthly, sixty days in arrears. Theindustry standard is twice a year, and that has been the standard for a longtime. Yet when we interview authors as customers, infrequent payment is amajor dissatisfier. Imagine how you‘d like it if you were paid twice a year. Thereisn‘t competitive pressure to pay authors more than once every six months, butwe‘re proactively doing so. By the way – though the research was taxing, Istruggled through and am happy to report that I recently saw many Kindles inuse at a Florida beach. There are five generations of Kindle, and I believe I sawevery generation in use except for the first. Our business approach is to sell

premium hardware at roughly breakeven prices. We want to make money whenpeople use our devices – not when people buy our devices. We think this alignsus better with customers. For example, we don‘t need our customers to be onthe upgrade treadmill. We can be very happy to see people still using four-year-old Kindles!

I can keep going – Kindle Fire‘s FreeTime, our customer service Andon Cord, Amazon MP3‘s AutoRip – but will finish up with a very clear example ofinternally driven motivation: Amazon Web Services. In 2012, AWS announced159 new features and services. We‘ve reduced AWS prices 27 times sincelaunching 7 years ago, added enterprise service support enhancements, and

created innovative tools to help customers be more efficient. AWS TrustedAdvisor monitors customer configurations, compares them to known best







practices, and then notifies customers where opportunities exist to improveperformance, enhance security, or save money. Yes, we are actively tellingcustomers they‘re paying us more than they need to. In the last 90 days,customers have saved millions of dollars through Trusted Advisor, and theservice is only getting started. All of this progress comes in the context of AWS

being the widely recognized leader in its area – a situation where you mightworry that external motivation could fail. On the other hand, internal motivation – the drive to get the customer to say ―Wow‖ – keeps the pace of innovation fast.

Our heavy investments in Prime, AWS, Kindle, digital media, and customerexperience in general strike some as too generous, shareholder indifferent, oreven at odds with being a for-profit company. ―Amazon, as far as I can tell, is acharitable organization being run by elements of the investment community for

the benefit of consumers,‖ writes one outside observer. But I don‘t think so. Tome, trying to dole out improvements in a just-in-time fashion would be too cleverby half. It would be risky in a world as fast-moving as the one we all live in.More fundamentally, I think long-term thinking squares the circle. Proactivelydelighting customers earns trust, which earns more business from thosecustomers, even in new business arenas. Take a long-term view, and theinterests of customers and shareholders align.

As I write this, our recent stock performance has been positive, but weconstantly remind ourselves of an important point – as I frequently quote famedinvestor Benjamin Graham in our employee all-hands meetings – ―In the short

run, the market is a voting machine but in the long run, it is a weighingmachine.‖ We don‘t celebrate a 10% increase in the stock price like wecelebrate excellent customer experience. We aren‘t 10% smarter when thathappens and conversely aren‘t 10% dumber when the stock goes the other way. We want to be weighed, and we‘re always working to build a heavier company.

As proud as I am of our progress and our inventions, I know that we will makemistakes along the way – some will be self-inflicted, some will be served up bysmart and hard-working competitors. Our passion for pioneering will drive us toexplore narrow passages, and, unavoidably, many will turn out to be blind

alleys. But – with a bit of good fortune – there will also be a few that open upinto broad avenues.

I am incredibly lucky to be a part of this large team of outstanding missionarieswho value our customers as much as I do and who demonstrate that every daywith their hard work. As always, I attach a copy of our original 1997 letter. Ourapproach remains the same, and it‘s still Day 1.



Disclosure: Jeff Bezos is an investor in Business Insider through his personal investment

company Bezos Expeditions.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/amazons-letter-to-shareholders-2013-

4#ixzz2QTDegmr9

Successful People Have Bigger Balls

Than You And That May be All That

Mattersby ALEXANDER HEYNE · 12 COMMENTS

http://www.businessinsider.com/amazons-letter-to-shareholders-2013-4#ixzz2QTDegmr9




http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/05/successful-people-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-may-be-all-that-matters/#comments








“Nut up or Shut up” -Zombieland

Most people have such an innate fear of vulnerability — the

fear of failure, the fear of trying new things, the fear of

quitting a job they dislike just because it’s uncomfortable and

the unknown is scary, the fear of doing something new for the

first time when you don’t know anyone else who has done it.

But the truth is that vulnerability is the single most

important characteristic in learning -- intellectually,

emotionally, and psychologically.

The most successful people in the world constantly,consciously expose themselves to criticism, failure, and

rejection.

They make themselves vulnerable as much as possible, which

is the primary reason why they learn so quickly.

So here are 5 food-for-thought ways to maximize how quickly

you learn, how quickly you fail, and how quickly you

ultimately succeed: all by being vulnerable.

5 ways to learn insanely quickly and achieve

success in 1/10th the timeThe following 5 principles are very closely related — but I’ve

attempted to split some hairs to highlight the most important

factors in learning quickly and (almost by default) succeeding

in any pursuit in a fraction of the time.

*** Recommended watching before, during, after: The

Power of Vulnerability on TED ***

#1 DO more of the things that scare the shit out of you This is the single best way to learn quickly. I can’t even

describe how biologically averse most of us are to doing

things we are afraid of – I mean, discomfort is by definition,

um, un-comfortable. So we tend to avoid it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M94v3OEu4gY


http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html









But the paradox of comfort is that it’s not conducive to

growth and learning.

So the longer you stay comfortable the harder it is to actually be comfortable over time because you’re going to encounter too many novel situations (that you’ve avoided previously,

because they’re uncomfortable)

This is one of the key principles of Dr. C’s research on flow:

stay in-between boredom (too easy, predictable) and anxiety

(too hard, unpredictable) and you’ll be in the optimal spot for accelerated learning.

Refer to the 3 part series on How to Learn Any Skill 2x as

Fast in Half the Time.

Fear is your best friend when it comes to learning. If you

haven’t felt fear in a while, you’re life is proof that you aren’t

trying enough new things.

Comfort is seductive… Don’t give in. It’ll screw you in the

end.

#2 ASK out more attractive women (Seriously –

consciously make more vulnerable decisions on a daily

basis) Do something with no guarantees, just because of how it’ll

train you to deal with risk and discomfort.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/08/21/learning-any-skill-2x-as-fast-in-half-the-time-making-greatness-pt-2/








For guys it’s easy — start asking out random women and

getting their numbers.

This is scarier than death for most dudes (and most guys

avoid it like the plague) and at the start, most of the

conversations will probably be a little awkward and will result

in rejections.

It sucks. Both uncertainty & rejection.

But if you’ve ever met an incredibly bold and fearless person

— and you’ve seen the kind of life they live and love — and

then you compare it to a timid friend of yours, you’ll knowit’s wor th it. It’s way worth it.

You can’t even compare the two.

But remember that you’re doing this just to be vulnerable, not

because you actually want the phone number . Don’t mistake

the results – an event – for the process, which is where you

learn everything.

What makes you really feel exposed?

#3 REMEMBER that no risk = no gain “I have never met anyone who really likes losing money. And

in all my years, I have never met a rich person who has never

lost money. But I have met a lot of poor people who have

never lost a dime.”

-Robert KiyosakiThe above quote is so quintessentially true about wealth and

life — literally and figuratively — that I’m surprised I forget

it so much.

When you first learn something, it sucks. It’s slow, it’s

painful, you fail a lot, you fall a lot, and you want to quit

every other day.



Thinking back to when I was learning Chinese in the

classroom, we were forced to speak in Chinese from day 1

and the classes were only in Chinese.

So everyday I pretty much walked into class with this ―WTF‖

feeling, and left with a sweat-soaked tshirt from how anxiety-

ridden I was during those classes.

But that’s how learning works, you scrape your knees a bunch

of time riding your bike and eventually you can get both

wheels balanced and you can ride a bike.

Eventually, you will stop improving if you don’t try harder maneuvers on your bike. If, however, you start trying to pop

wheelies, or do tricks, or go off jumps, you’ll still improve.

That’s the learning curve.

And the only way to optimize that learning curve (aka waste

the least amount of your time and learn the most, the

quickest), is by doing the stuff that scares the shit out of you,

and doing it anyway.

Do the stuff that’s a little bit too difficult, a little bit out of reach, a little bit confusing — and do it often. Once that gets

comfortable, find the next challenge.

If you aren’t doing something with the potential to scrape

your knees, you aren’t pushing yourself enough and are

not learning as quickly as you could be.

#4 LEARN to live uncomfortablyOne of the most interesting parts of watching Brené’s talk on

TED was when she mentioned this: ”Numbing the negative

aspects of life makes you numb to the positive aspects too.”

So when we go home after work and self medicate by using

alcohol, drugs, sex, or other means to dull the parts of life we

hate, we are by default also blocking out the good ones:



“And I think there’s evidence — and it’s not the only reason

this evidence exists, but I think it’s a huge cause — we are the

most in-debt, obese, addicted and medicated adul t cohort in

U.S. history. The problem is — and I learned this from the

research — that you cannot selectively numb emotion . You

can’t say, here’s the bad stuff. Here’s vulnerability, here’s

grief, here’s shame, here’s fear, here’s disappointment. I

don’t want to feel these. I’m going to have a couple of beers

and a banana nut muffin. I don’t want to feel these. You

can’t numb those hard feelings without numbing the other

affects, our emotions . You cannot selectively numb. So when

we numb those, we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numbhappiness. And then we are miserable, and we are looking for

purpose and meaning, and then we feel vulnerable, so then we

have a couple of beers and a banana nut muffin. And it

becomes this dan gerous cycle.”

Most of us live too comfortably or don’t quite hate our

lives enough to make a big decision.

That’s the reason why most of us never sit down and say ―Mylife needs huge changes. I need to quit my job, move across

the world, and go on an adventure.“

Most of us never say that. And I realize there are certain

constraints depending on your age like your family &

employment — but there’s a reason why most of us never make the big decision to change our lives for the better.

We’re not quite miserable enough yet. We’re at the pointwhere things could be a lot better, but they don’t suck enough

that we sit down and find time to make a drastic change.

It’s easier to just watch tv or go out with friends and pretend it

didn’t happen.

But successful people are obsessed with the unknown. And

they’re possessed by curiosity.



And they’re addicted to success — so no matter how much

they fail, it doesn’t matter, because they’re winners and when

winners encounter a momentary failure, they say“just watch

me do it.” They’re obsessed with the struggle that comes as part of the

process. They’re obsessed with the discomfort they get during

training and testing in the unknown. But out somewhere in

that unknown they know the holy grail is waiting.

#5 MAKE uncertainty your best friend and your bitch I have never met someone who was successful and a real

renaissance person that was afraid of making decisions.

But that’s exactly what most of us do. We’re terrified of

deciding. We thrive in being comfortable. We’d rather miss

out on life and be comfortable, then embrace the uncertain

and learn a shit ton and attain massive success.

Why that is, I have no idea.

Maybe we see the long (uncertain) road ahead and think:

―Well, there’s no guarantees, why am I bothering even taking

that road? What if I work 5 years and get nothing out of it?

What if I spend that much of my life and don’t succeed? I’d

rather just watch Family Guy and enjoy my time and know

what I’m going to get out of it.”

If most of your days are spent doing predictable activitieswith predictable outcomes, chances are that you’re not

growing or learning anything.

The scary thing is that 6 months of focused intent on learning

— and structuring your life around uncertainty and discomfort

— is worth more than 10 years of comfortable learning.

Literally.



In 5 years you can literally learn more than most people

learn in their entire lifetime.

———————— -

What if one of the secrets to success was simple? Be braver and take more risks.

Do something that has the potential for failure.

Try something uncomfortable, for just a little bit longer than

you usually would.

Because maybe that’s all it takes.

Vulnerability.

—

Photo by Mr.DMX

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You Want to be Successful 4. When Was the Last Time You Went Balls to the Wall?

5. The Single Most Important Principle in the Lives of

Successful People

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Josh Hogg April 5, 2012 at 3:57 pm

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/09/06/my-the-best-books-list/


http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/09/12/how-to-learn-any-skill-twice-as-fast-in-half-the-time-pt-3-intent/





http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/17/why-a-balanced-lifestyle-is-the-last-thing-you-want-if-you-want-to-be-successful/





http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/02/10/when-was-the-last-time-you-went-balls-to-the-wall/


http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/03/01/the-single-most-important-principle-in-the-lives-of-successful-people/





http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/05/successful-people-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-may-be-all-that-matters/#respond



http://www.creativehogg.com/

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/05/successful-people-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-may-be-all-that-matters/#comment-2132


















Recently, I’ve started doing something you stated in this

article: doing something that feels inherently wrong, or

that I can’t necessarily justify (knowing what I know),

just to see what happens. Often you learn that theassumptions you made around why it is wrong or won’t

work, were in fact wrong themselves. This leads to a

paradigm shift, and you learn something new. Love the

read up.

REPLY

afheyne April 6, 2012 at 6:39 pm

Josh ,

Yeah it can lead to a huge shift in thinking. Sometimes

just making an extremely bold move is the fastest way to

get yourself to learn. Just deliberately making oneself

uncomfortable by doing something that stretches oneself

is pretty much the hallmark quality in quick learners.

REPLY

Tiela April 6, 2012 at 5:27 am

Alex,

This article is sheer GENIUS! (I also like it because it’s

the way I live my life, so it’s validating.) Currently, I’mway high up in a huge tree and I’ve climbed out really

far on this skinny, little branch. It’s scary as hell, but,

truthfully, I LOVE IT UP HERE! The view is great, for

one thing, and I feel invigorated, empowered and proud

of myself for exercising my courage. I will soon be

returning to the ground (ie, Lakeville) where I will rest

for a while and be comfortable, but I’m thinking of

hang-gliding on the way down…

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/05/successful-people-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-may-be-all-that-matters/?replytocom=2132#respond







http://www.aparisstateofmind.com/













I posted this article on my wall, by the way.

Love you,

Tiela

REPLY


Thanks Tiela,

It was definitely inspired by Brené’s talk on TED whichmy boss told me to check out. Vulnerability definitely is

one of the hallmark traits of all people I admire, being

able to take a risk, take on a new project, commit to

something new — all while not knowing how things will

turn out. That means LEGITIMATELY not knowing

what will come, going in afraid, and like you said

exercising your courage.

See you soon ! Are you still in Paris?

REPLY

Shanna Mann April 6, 2012 at 8:47 am

Amazing article, Alexander.

I really think people fail to understand just how

dangerous comfortable is. It kills your desire to be

anything but comfortable. I dropped out of academia

because I was good at it… too good at it. I knew that I

would always be comfortable in the ivory tower – but

what about the real world? I had no idea whether I could

cope there or not.








http://shannamann.com/













My dad offered to help me get my trucker’s license, and

for 3 years I was a blue collar worker in the oil & gas

industry, learning way more stuff about the ways of the

world than I ever did in academia.

My secret weapon is that I thrive off a steep learning

curve, though, so that makes it easy for me to keep

pushing into new territory.

REPLY

afheyne April 7, 2012 at 1:23 pm Thanks Shanna,

I agree with you, we don’t really realize how insidious

comfortable can be. It sneaks up on us — insidious is the

perfect word I think.

I have two good friends like you — school was too easy

for them, so they just quit. In my opinion that’s how a lotof brilliant people fall by the wayside – they just don’t

need to exercise their brains and the predictability of life

get’s boring so they quit.

Haha I also like to just learn new stuff in general —

literally, something new every 30/60/100 days. I don’t

know if I get bored, if I just like the steep learning curve

(like you said), or if it’s something else. But in any case

I think it’s one of my best strengths, having a huge range

of experience of so many random fields makes it pretty

easy for me to relate to people – somethings I wouldn’t

trade for anything.

What are you doing these days? You have a coaching

biz, yeah?










REPLY

Jeffrey April 9, 2012 at 10:31 pm

I love the idea of learning to live uncomfortably. To me, being comfortable leads to complacency and boringness.

That’s easy, but it’s not the most exciting or rewarding

path to take by any means.

REPLY


Yeah that to me is the big reason to never get toocomfortable. Complacency and boredom.

Complacency just leads to unproductive work habits,

and boredom? Well, a life the doesn’t feel exciting or

worthwhile..

In any case it’s not easy! It takes real stones to liveuncomfortably and deliberately forego comfort. But in

my experience it’s totally worth it, and I wouldn’t tradeit for anything.

REPLY

Pinoy Leonardo April 11, 2012 at 8:18 pm

This hit me bull’s eye! I met up with a former boss withother colleagues and started getting into some news or

―gossips‖. It made me realize some people go around our

industry messing one place to another and still survive!

These people just have the connection and the shameless

charm. I’m not saying I’m joining the bandwagon of

a**holes. I’m just saying I can keep my integrity and all

and add a bit of ―power‖. This post in blood-rigging-struck me



http://www.moneyspruce.com/











http://www.robaminute.com/






















Oh by the way I like #2. Hmm got to think about it in a

different way since I’m married. lol.

REPLY


Hey Pinoy,

Hahah you can find a creative way to go about #2. I also

think ―bigger balls‖ may not necessarily mean shameless

charm, but at the basic level this: the willingly to put

yourself in a risky position.

That may mean a leadership position if you’re naturally

a quiet introvert.

That may mean offering to help someone else with their

project and affecting your reputation if you do a bad job.

That mean mean investing in a new startup and

potentially losing a lot of money and ruining your

reputation.These kinds of willing periods of vulnerability definitely

seem to follow successful people. And obviously, it’s

because they create those circumstances.

REPLY

Annie Andre April 12, 2012 at 7:27 am

All good point but the one that strikes me the most islearn to be uncomfortable. how many people in this

world are complacent and because of that complacency

they settle for a life that is less than amazing and down

right uninspiring. It’s safe, it’s without risk and

ordinary..

ps

I’m sure you’ve heard this quote.








http://www.annieandre.com/













I love the Eleanor Roosevelt quote about doing

something scary everyday.

REPLY


Totally agree! I stole the uncomfortable one from you

you set my brain on fire when you mentioned that a

couple weeks ago.

Choosing to be safe will definitely result in a

comfortable life, but maybe not the adventurous sexy

life that we’re dreaming of!

And I love that Roosevelt quote, i’m gonna have to steal

it for another post soon haha.

REPLY

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My Favorite Books on Life, Philosophy, and Business


Books that are important to share:

General: 1. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. (I love this book so much I buy copies to give away)

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2. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Dr.Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.

3. The Gift of Fear and Other Survival Signals thatProtect Us From Violence by Gavin Debecker

4. Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel by Rolf Potts

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Philosophy: 6. The Snow Leopard by Peter Matthiessen

7. Tao Te Ching(Gia fu feng and Jane EnglishTranslation)

8. Road to Heaven: Encounters with Chinese Hermits by Bill Porter

9. Walden; Or, Life in the Woods (Dover Thrift

Editions) By Henry David Thoreau

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10. This I Believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women

Classic Business Related: 11. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

12. The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing: Violate Themat Your Own Risk! by Al Ries

13. Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, andPurpose by Tony Hsieh
































































14. The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small BusinessesDon‘t Work and What to Do About It by Michael Gerber

15. Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make theLeap… and Others Don‘t by Jim Collins

Books that will (literally) save your life: 16. Pain Free: A Revolutionary Method for StoppingChronic Pain by Pete Egoscue

17. The Paleo Solution: The Original Human Diet by Robb Wolf





























































18. Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes

19. Good Calories, Bad Calories: Fats, Carbs, and theControversial Science of Diet and Health (Vintage) by Gary Taubes

20. Fiber Menace: The Truth About the Leading Role of Fiber in Diet Failure, Constipation, Hemorrhoids,Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Ulcerative Colitis, Crohn‘s

Disease, and Colon Cancer by Konstantin Monastyrsky

Other Awesomeness:

































































21. Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything by Joshua Foer

22. The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle inthe Dark by Carl Sagan

23. The Memory Book: The Classic Guide to Improving Your Memory at Work, at School, and at Play by Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas

inShare

Struggling to Make

What Would You do if you Knew You Could not Fail?


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―Those who know do not speak. Those who speak donot know.‖

-Lao tze

Who woulda thunk that Lao Tze, that old beardedTaoist, could have known anything about the modern world.

Turns out, he was a pretty smart dude. There is a reason why this post title (a quote by Robert Schuller) is also soimportant here.

The adage provided above, I believe, is not meant to betaken literally. But it illustrates an exceedingly important concept in life, travel and work.

Being bold, first of all, is about DOINGsomething

Don‘t say, just do. This is one of the hardest things for me personally, and I would imagine, for humanity collectively. How many people do you know dishing out diet advice? Honestly,

every family gathering for me goes like this:




(Family conversation)

Relative 1: ―All you gotta do to lose weight is eat less‖ Relative 2: ―All you have to do to lose weight is startexercising‖ Relative 3: ―All you have to do to lose weight is stopeating carbs‖

— Yet everyone is just as big as thelast time I saw them.

I saw an interview in a recent editionof Entrepreneur magazine that I really liked, regardinggetting things done. It featured the guy who owns Dell,Michael Dell, talking with several other youngentrepreneurs. They are discussing the qualities of anentrepreneur:Michael Dell: ―One of the funniest questions that I getis, ‗How do I be an entrepreneur?‘‖

( Some selected responses I like )

Craig Dwyer: ― What‘s your answer?‖ Michael Dell: ―The friendly version? It‘s goexperiment and do something. If you‘re waiting forsomebody else to tell you to be an entrepreneur, you‘renot one.‖ Zach Hamilton: ―Skills can be learned. It‘s the driveand ambition to go out there and do something that‘sspecial. Any of us could be doctors. Any of us could belawyers. But it‘s the ambition to apply yourself–even when it‘s hard– that sets us apart.Nikhil Sethi: ―Everyone wants to be an ‗entrepreneur.‘ What does that mean?‖ Craig Dwyer: ―Two words: action people.‖

Ernestine Fu: ―What do you think an entrepreneuris?‖



Zach Hamilton: ―A doer.‖ Corinne Prevot: ―And it‘s a passion, because you haveto be willing to learn from it and it becomes so much apart of your life.‖

Being bold, second of all, is aboutdoing something you’ve never done before

Yeah, that means if you aren’t getting butterflies in your stomach on a regular basis, you aren’t

being bold enough in your life. Yeah it‘s hard. And it‘s scary. But the potentialrewards? Unlimited. Everything you‘ve e ver dreamedof. Being bold is the reason why you envy the guy with thepretty girl. He had the balls to talk to her and youdidn‘t.

Being bold is the difference between living a life that is just ―okay‖ and a life that ―fucking rocks.‖ Being bold is the difference between settling and saying―well, it happens sometimes‖ to being assertive andsaying ―Zeus, you son of a bitch, you get down here andI‘m gonna take your ass out back.‖ And then making your life how you want it.

―There‘s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path‖

-Morpheus







http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/08/01/dont-be-mediocre-because-its-convenient/








So what does ―living life boldly‖mean?

It means putting yourself as the center of your sphere of influence rather than on the periphery. You are thelamp in the darkness. You are the Moses that parts theseas. You are the guide for the lost travelers. You are thecentrifuge that everything spins around. In life, it means choosing opportunities that mean youare living life ―as an exclamation, not as an explanation.‖

In work, it means constantly trying to change yourcircumstances – striving for change, growth, or freshplans.

In travel, it means going somewhere off the beaten path.Go for a real adventure rather than tourist destinations.Hit up Papua New Guinea, or go drink Kava in Fiji witha tribal chief. Conquer a fear, like shark diving. Find a

path of self-expansion and growth via traveling, ratherthan travel for travel‘s sake.

The essence of the sphere

Would you rather be the person writing the story, orreading the story?

The doer earns infinitely more respect by those aroundhim, regardless of the amount of perceived, or actual,failures and successes.

One last (overly cliché) quote to think about here:

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who pointsout how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the








man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by the dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly;who errs and comes short again and again; who knowsthe great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spendshimself in a worthy course; who at the best, knows inthe end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; sothat his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.

-Teddy Roosevelt Doing Everything Right Doesn‘t Guarantee Success

by AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 1 COMMENT

―Working hard and working smart sometimes can betwo different things.‖

-Byron Dorgan

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Failure: One of Those Things Mommy Never Told You About

Nothing guarantees success. Working hard doesn‘tguarantee success. Working a lot doesn‘t guaranteesuccess. Having everyone behind you doesn‘t guaranteesuccess. Having innate talent or being gifted doesn‘tguarantee success. Having all the resources in the worlddoesn‘t guarantee success.

These words shouldn‘t shock you, or make you think I‘m

a downer or that I‘m here to burst your bubble and get you to drop everything. These words are here to inspire you to realize that the only way to reachsuccess (however you define that) is to constantly change and flow based on the circumstances.There are a million and one reasons why there is noformula to success. The important thing (for now) is notcreating a flow chart for how to succeed, but rather

realize that being an adult means being bold, making your own choices, and sometimes rolling with thepunches.

Society’s False Promises

When I graduated from college I felt like it was the beginning of a new era. Tons of opportunities to do

whatever I want. Tons of places to get a job that was way better than I would have had otherwise. Tons of resources behind me. Tons of people behind me. And then reality struck.

I joined an increasingly large group of people who feellike they deserve a lot. We feel like we deserve the wholedamn earth, and anyone who tells us otherwise isspouting lies and can go suck it.



The problem is that they are totally right. I don’tdeserve anything. You don’t deserve anything.

We don’t deserve anything. But we‘ve beenpromised a lot, so what the hell is going on here?

Don’t Freak Out

This realization that none of us deserveanything should be one of the most liberatingmoments in your life. It is a reminder that you areonly given what you ask for, and you only achieve what

you try to seize by the balls. It means living an activelife, with the unstated assumption (new conventional wisdom) being: I have to put myself out there. Specific changes that will occur:

1. You‘ll see how powerful ―ask and you shall receive is.‖ 2. You won‘t be a victim or act like a little bitch if life is

cruel to you. You won‘t blame the gods. You won‘t

blame others. You won‘t complain. 3. You‘ll experience previously unseen of personal levels

of success.

Ask and You Shall Receive

Pretty much everyone knows this Biblical quote. I love itso much because it encourages the bold

attitude. However, very few people know that literally doing that — asking for something — results in way more opportunities than you‘d receive otherwise. A few personal examples:

I got bored waiting in the airport on a flight to Europeso I jokingly asked a lady at the counter if she couldupgrade me. Easy way to a first class ticket



One time lost in Prague at an awkward hour in a badplace I was surprised no one noticed my plight andnervousness. I asked a random man for a phone, andnot only did he let me use his Blackberry for an hour(until I got through) he gave me $20 to get to theplace I was staying

On more than one occasion I‘ve jokingly asked bartenders to buy me a drink in a bar… and on morethan one occasion I‘ve had free drinks

Planning the Right Way

Later we‘ll talk about specifics on planning to succeed.But for right now it‘s important to have the backup planstraight when you think you‘ve done everything right, but life is still sucking. Or, if you think you‘re a littlePrincess everything will come naturally to, remind you with a big fat palm smack to the head that you‘re amortal:

Again, realize that your status or privileges (or lack thereof) may influence but never guarantee yourfuture. College doesn‘t guarantee finding a great job.Money doesn‘t guarantee you‘ll get further thansomeone else without it. Talent doesn‘t mean life willcome easy.

Realize that you and only you are fully responsible for

your life. After all, this phase of life is about growing apair (or a metaphorical pair, if you‘re a female) andmanning up (sorry, that phrase would suck if I madeit politically correct).

Most Importantly

Remember that talent and inherent gifts are absolutely no match for a smart, well-planned, driven individual.



There is absolutely no competition and no doubt in my mind.

―Stand upright, speak thy thoughts, declare The truththou hast, that all may share; Be bold, proclaim it

everywhere: They only live who dare.‖

-Voltaire

Not Enough Time in the Day? I‘ve Got Plenty to Share


―For disappearing acts, it‘s hard to beat what happensto the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep

and eight of work.‖ -Doug Larson

Trying to get time to slow down when you want it to isthe trick

Why ―There Isn‘t Enough Time in the Day‖

Is Not a Legitimate Excuse

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When I first got to college, I suffered from the ―notenough time in a day‖ blues. I would go to class, eat andgo home, mess around a little, go to the library and work, eat dinner, hit the gym, mess around a little more,and then it was time to go to bed. My free time justevaporated into thin air.

I suspect you are much like myself and many of my friends — at the end of many days we wonder how theday passed so quickly or where all the time went. Andmost of us deceive ourselves into thinking ―we didn‘t

waste any time.‖

Wake up

If you use the internet on a daily basis you are probably wasting a good portion of your time that way. There area couple other major things that I know that for a factare the main time wasters.

Miscellaneous internet browsing. Forums,favorite websites, reddit, textfromlastnight,Facebook. Get rid of all of it or have a very specifictask (<5 minutes to accomplish) and thenimmediately log off. Read your Facebook notifications and then get off.

Email checking. As many other business bookshave taught – limit your email checking to once or atmaximum twice daily. Nothing in between, and turnoff all instant notifications. Put a post-it on yourcomputer that reminds you the only two times you areallowed to check your email.



Watching TV . It‘s ridiculously easy to just ―turn onthe tv real quick‖ after you‘ve made yourself somefood, and then zone out for an hour or two. An houror two of your ―free time!‖ There probably are a lot of other things you‘d rather do in that time

The Promise

I can guarantee that once you consciously research andtake note of how you use your time, you can re-gainat least one hour of free-to-yourself time. For most

college students you can regain 2-3 hours easily . Mostpeople think that there isn‘t enough time, but the reality is that people tend not to be mindful of how they usetheir time.

Kick Time-Wasting in the Ass

Personal suggestions that have helped me immensely:

1. Spend 1 week recording all time usage.1. Record everything to the minute. Sleep time,

work time, on computer time, TV time,homework or class time. Calculate ratios anddaily/weekly totals.

2. You may realize that you spend 1 hour onfacebook and 1 hour watching TV daily. Cut the

senseless TV program out and Facebook down to15 minutes and you‘ve re-gained12.25 HOURS a week.

1. Set an alarm for tasks 1. For homework assignments, work tasks, or

generic errands – set a timer (I use Mac‘s 3-2-1 timer on the dashboard) and then get your work done in the allotted time. It reduces thechance for distraction, the urge to take long



breaks, and encourages getting focused. Thisis was a HUGE revelation for me in termsof boosting efficiency (time spent per task)

Always, Always, Always have a specific goal toaccomplish for all tasks.

1. Hopping on the internet with no goal or task toaccomplish is asking for it. You‘ll wake up 3 hours

later and realize that you just commit internetseppuku. With specifics tasks to accomplish, you‘ll boost your productivity like you‘ve never seen before.

The Finisher

Here is what I noticed is the sneakiest bastard of them

all: The biggest time wasters are usually found in ―in- between‖ periods.

For Example: You go to the gym. You come back exhausted and sit down on the couch in front of the TV for ―just a sec.‖ Yeah, a lot of seconds. About an hourprobably.For Example: You get back from class. You make

yourself a sandwich from lunch and sit down onFacebook. An hour passes.For Example: You get back from work. You stop for aquick second to…

Get the point?



And at the end of the day we don’t realize that wehave had 3 or 4 separate periods of time wasting

because they were independent of each other.

Watch the In-Between Periods – They areinsidious and the time loss will creep up on you

Other Important Notes

Speaking of time loss, are you using your leisure time

wisely? And by wisely I mean consciously investing timeinto developing skills that require you to function athigher and more complex levels, skills that are ―worth your while?‖

A great place to start is reading about Flow in my previous post as an introduction.Until then, here is something to chew on:

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―Until a person takes charge of them, both work and free time are likely to be disappointing. Most jobs and many leisure activities– especially those involving the

passive consumption of mass media–are not designed to make us happy and strong. Their purpose is to makemoney for someone else. If we allow them to, they can

suck out the marrow of our lives, leaving only feeblehusks… People who learn to enjoy their work, who do

not waste their free time, end up feeling that their livesas a whole have become much more worthwhile.‖

-Flow, p. 163

How to (Not) Make Every Day Feel the Same


‖ When each day is the same as the next, it‘s because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in

their lives every day that the sun rises.‖ -The Alchemist

Take a new route from time to time

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A Society in Dire Need of Variety

Routines really suck sometimes. When I got my firstdesk job, my routine looked like this:

6:30 – wake up 8:00 – Leave for work 3:30 – Leave work 4:00 – Get home 5:00 – Gym 6:00 – Free time (read, internet, misc time wasters) 7:00 – Dinner and cleanup 8:30 – Prepare for next day 10:00 – Read and sleepThe days and weeks went by pretty quickly, often fusinginto each other. The days weren‘t bad necessarily, butthat feeling of time evaporating terrified me. I suspect your schedule is pretty predictable and repeatable likemy own.

There‘s Nothing Inherently Wrong Withthe Same Routine

I‘m a huge lover of routine. In fact, without routine andtasks put into nice little bite-size boxes, I tend to freak out. I‘m a little type A. The big problem is that whole―time-evaporation‖ thing. It‘s great when you want the

weekend to hurry up, but it sure does suck when yourealize 3 years have evaporated and you aren‘t quite sureif you‘ve done anything in that time.

In The Alchemist the boy talks about not payingattention to the little miracles that happen every day regarding the origins of the feeling of time flying by. Iagree, but I‘ll give you more concrete ideas based upon what I‘ve noticed.



The Origins of Time Evaporation Syndrome

Over the years, I‘ve thought through a couple theories as

to why time evaporates. Here are the two mainconclusions that I‘ve come to: 1. You do the exact same thing every day, and thus tend

to zone out and run on autopilot. Nothing is freshand nothing is new that the brain finds worth payingattention to. Check back on my earlier post regardingkids loving life and finding everything fascinating, while later on we become less curious by life sincethere are fewer new experiences.

2. You are in the same few locations every day (Work ==> Home). This is the main factor relating tothe perceived speed of time.

The Remedy The remedy to the first theory is obvious – vary yourschedule. Change little (or big things) every day. For

example:

1. Add a morning routine. Have a tea or coffee and justlook out the window. At least 20 minutes. Do somemorning stretching or yoga. Walk the dogs in the coolmorning air. Work in the garden.

2. Take a new route to work or class. Take a new routehome. Take a new route through town. Put on somedriving music and just explore areas you hadn‘t seen before. You‘ll be surprised at some of the places yourintuition can take you.

3. Change the places where you regularly eat. Find anew restaurant. Or, if you usually eat out, startcooking at home.



Changing locations can be fun…

The Time-Location Relationship

Here‘s a little thing that staying out late at night canteach you: if you change multiple locations in one day,or one night, it can cause the illusion of having spent alargeamount of time.

Changing location 4-5 times in one outing can give thefeeling that it has been a long productive day and that your time has been used wisely.

Think about it. You go to visit some family friends attheir house, then you guys go to a museum, then you bring the kids to the zoo, and then go out to a nicerestaurant at night. And then you drive home. Long

day, right? That‘s the idea. And, ideally, if you have beenin 4-5 different locations you have used your time wisely.The other time-related concept is simply activity. Activities that are flow-producing will make time fly by – but again, if you engage yourself in multiple activitiesthroughout the day it will give a stronger impression of more time used efficiently.




Your Sphere of Influence is AlwaysContagious

Another really fun way to break out of routine is toinvolve other people. Here is the fun part: try cultivating a relationship (however momentary) with astranger.

High Five Challenge

For example: When you go into your local coffee shop

one day, high five the person serving you once you get your drink. Seriously, don‘t be a chicken. It willguaranteed make them smile (physical contact has a way of doing that), and it will change the routine both for you and for them. Honestly, it will probably be the thingthey remember most that day.This was a staple of my routine in China with waitressesand waiters in any cafe I went to. Eventually, they

became close friends I‘d talk to about random things,and they took a liking to me (and that includedpreferential treatment!).

If you have a cleaning lady or any sort of service person you run into on a semi-daily basis, deliberately start aconversation with them about something of value.

Awkward elevator moments? Try starting an honestconversation with one of the people inside, withouttalking about the weather.

Begin with the intent of varying routine, and you‘ll besurprised that some very unique friendships may evolve.

Share Your Secret

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/health/23mind.html






What‘s your trick for breaking out of routine? Do youinteract regularly with the service people around you, who have that blank tv-screen look on their faces? Do you consciously try to introduce variety into your ownlife and those around you?

Do share…

A Guaranteed Reason Life and Work Are Not Fulfilling:The Consume-Purchase Cycle


―Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowingit is not fish they are after.‖ -Henry David Thoreau

Today's Motto: Buy more. Bigger, better, faster. You need more.

One Good Reason Your Work andLife May Be Unrewarding

I noticed that my personality and thought patterns tendto change when I hang out with friends. The

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conversations at some point get into who‘s getting a new car, who got a raise or a new job with sweet benefits, who went traveling somewhere exotic, or who has gotthe latest eye-candy device.

Let me say right now: I don‘t think there‘s anythinginherently wrong with discussing the latest toys or who bought a BMW 5 series.

However, the problem is that as soon as I‘m on the way home, I find myself suddenly overcome with the urge for

more. My friends have instilled an artificial sense of lack in my own life. It makes me want to trade my 2 year old LG Versa for an iPhone 4. It makes me want tosell my 2003 Nissan Xterra and buy a new Camaro. Itmakes me want to dump my old Dell and get a new MacBook.

So? Who Cares?

Externally, there‘s no problem buying any and all new toys if you can afford it. Externally, things look fine.Internally, an insidious cycle is reinforcing itself overand over, every single time that you are knowingly orunknowingly exposed to it.

Think about it. With your friends or family, people always talk with

excitement about getting the newest gadgets On TV, ads and celebrity tv always instill the idea that

you need more: more beauty, more new toys, moretechnology, more money

Almost all forms of marketing and advertising we areexposed to on a daily basis want to instill a sense of

lack in order to sell something



What that means is that whether ornot you realize it, you are beingconditioned every single day toartificially feel a sense of lack in yourown life.

Enter the Consumer Cycle

The typical life situation for my friends is like this: they graduate college, get a job, pretty soon after get their

own apartment, a new car, new phone and new clothes.Five years later? The exact same thing… a job that haschanged a little, another newer car, newer phone, newerclothes. Five years after that? The same thing.. only theexternal circumstances slightly keep changing form.

The reason why this gets really boring, really quickly, isthat it provides no internal content for life to thrive on.It provides no real purpose. Think about that for asecond. The cycle is self-sustaining. It has no purposeother than to just exist for itself and work as a form of capitalism. It is like work for work‘s sake – completely unfulfilling and merely an ends to itself.

Why the Consumer Cycle Does

Nothing For You, And Absolutely Nothing For Your Happiness

This vicious cycle sucks (by definition) because itprovides nothing inherently valuable to you in theintrinsic sense. It keeps you within the cycle by design. That‘s why it‘s extremely important to have asense of purpose and clear goals no matter what line of work you‘re in.











This isn‘t a mass conspiracy to have you spend all yourmoney or be a slave to the Man, but rather it‘s aninherent weakness we have.

We freak out after 1, 5, 10, 15, or 25 years of repeatingthe same exact cycle over and over because, at the end of the day, we have nothing to show for the time. There‘s just an evolution of possessions. Instead of investingtime into flow-producing activities, activities withinherent, intangible value, or investing time intolearning skills, I see a lot of us stuck in an illusory cycle

of only transitory happiness with little to show at theend of a lifetime.

That really scares me.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

The resolution here is relatively simple:

1. Understand that the sense of lack that media andfriends may make you feel iscompletely artificial

2. Find better investments for your time and money

Specific Suggestions For a New LifeI want you to think long and hard, putting yourself 10 years down the road. If someone asks what you‘ve

gained or learned, what do you personally have to show?If your spare time has been spent only on upgrading tothe newest phone, a newer car, a differentgirlfriend….without anything that actually improves thecontent of your life, it‘s time to start thinking.

Next time you get your paycheck, ask yourself: ―how canI use this money so that I‘ll remember it in 10 years?‖ I

doubt you‘ll be thinking of the latest toy.








If you have a life that has money butis unfulfilling, these are my threesuggestions to you:

1. Invest your money and time into a hobby, activity,group, or passion. Learn a language. Join a rock climbing club. Start an organization.

Learn a skill or do something you‘ve always wanted.Go learn salsa. Take a course on video game design.Go skydiving and bungee jumping.

1. Travel, or better yet, move to another country for a

period of time. All of these provide intangible, inherently rewarding,sticky experiences that will exist far longer than yourmoney will. These experiences are also cumulative, sothey provide a form of self-evolution.

I don’t think it gets more rewarding

than that. If Your Work Sucks, Learn About Flow: Flow, Part 1.


―Collectively we are wasting each year the equivalent of millions of years of human consciousness. The

energy that could be used to focus on complex goals, to provide for enjoyable growth, is squandered on

patterns of stimulation that only mimic reality. Massleisure, mass culture, and even high culture when onlyattended to passively, and for extrinsic reasons… are

parasites of the mind.‖ -Dr. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi





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How Did ―Work‖ Get Equated with ―Sucks‖and ―Miserable‖ and ―Torturous?‖

Evidence suggests that back in the day (as well as inmodern times), hunter gatherers lived relatively carefreelives. Estimates regarding the amount of work done in aday range from two to five hours daily – and the rest of the time was spent in leisure, socializing, or resting.

Over time, work became increasingly disconnected fromsubsistence, and things got hairy from there. An

interesting caveat here is that hunter gatherers and largepopulations of people pre-industrial times didn‘tseparate work and leisure – there simply was nodifference and enjoyment was present at all times. (This,however, was not the case with all cultures pre-moderntimes.)

Cultural Taglines




Work in modern times is so often associated with painand misery that we automatically assume in our mindsthat this is the way it is.

For example, I‘ve heard this dialogue a hundred times atleast:

Bill: ―Hey John, how was work?‖ John: ―Ehh, work is work.‖ Unstatedassumption: Smacking a bear on the ass and runningaway as it devoured my viscera would have been more

fun.I bet you‘ve heard the same dialogue a thousand times,or maybe you‘ve participated in it. I think we all have atsome point.

The Point? We have deep-seated cultural assumptionsabout what work is and how it should be.

Enter Dr. Csikszentmihalyi (Dr. C)―Blessed is he who has found his work; let him ask no

other blessedness.‖ -Thomas Carlyle

If we take some rough estimates of how the average westerner spends his time we could very roughly say that she/he sleeps 8 hours, works 8 hours, and has a

―misc‖ period of 8 hours which includes commutes,eating and leisure.Thus, work will take up at least one third of your life.Don‘t you think you should consciously invest time andenergy into figuring out how to improve your work situation?

The Flow Intro



Dr. C spent decades studying human enjoyment, happiness and fulfillment. His research all

comes together in a principle called Flow which is universal and is described literally word-for-

word by cultures all over the world. It is the state of optimal experience. He describes flow as

that state when: ―…instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, wedo feel in control of our actions, masters of our own

fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel asense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is

long cherished and that becomes a landmark inmemory for what life should be like. This is what wemean by optimal experience. It is what the sailor

holding a tight course feels when the wind whipsthrough her hair, when the boat lunges through thewaves like a colt — sails, hull, wind, and sea humminga harmony that vibrates in the sailor‘s veins. It is what a painter feels when the colors on the canvas begin to

set up a magnetic tension with each other, and anew thing, a living form, takes shape in front of theastonished creator. Or it is the feeling of a father has

when his child for the first time responds to his smile.‖ - Flow, p.3

Accessing Flow at Work

In later posts we‘ll go into more detail as to how toapply Flow in daily life. But I think that most peoplehave a hard time finding enjoyment at work, so that‘ll be

the focus of this particular post.Dr. C begins with talking about two aspects of flow at work:



Autotelic Workers

Autotelic workers have aninherent (read: can be learned) ability to find enjoyment

and focus not only in work but in leisurely pursuits as well. They tend to:1. Rarely differentiate work from free time2. Find enjoyment in everything they do3. Possess the ability to create flow experiences even in

surprisingly inhumane environments Autotelic JobsSome jobs naturally possess the qualities inherent and

conducive to the flow state.

1. Surgery 2. HuntingSurgeons have reported extremely high levels of satisfaction and involvement with their jobs. There areexceptions of course (the example he gives is when asurgeon specializes in 1 or 2 surgeries and does them

over and over).

However, the criteria for flow inherently exist insurgery: clear goals, clear immediate feedback, a task that is slightly above the skill level and is challenging,and clear indicators of when the task is done. Additionally, hunting has been found so enjoyable that

people have continued to hunt despite the fact that theneed has entirely disappeared. Hunting has been




putting people in the zone since the dawn of time — youhave a clear goal (kill the animal and eat it), clearfeedback (have I killed it yet, or did I miss my shot?) andthe task is always that — a task. It is never easy, and itinherently stretches you beyond your skill level. Theseare all critical to enter the flow state.

So How do I do it?

From Dr. C himself:

―To improve the quality of life through work, twocomplementary strategies are necessary. On the onehand jobs should be redesigned so that they resemble as

closely as possible flow activities — as do hunting,cottage weaving, and surgery. But it will also be

necessary to help people develop autotelic personalities… by training them to recognize

opportunities for action, to hone their skills, to set

reachable goals. Neither one of these strategies is likelyto make work much more enjoyable by itself; in

combination, they should contribute enormously tooptimal experience.‖

Flow, p. 157

Suggestions for Making Work Flow-

ConduciveBased on Dr. C‘s recommendations for how to makeanything closer to a flowexperience, here are somesuggested alterations and questions to consider: Does any and every job you do have clear

goals that make use of and push your skills? Are all activities sufficiently challenging that you

become involved in the activity and seem like youare running on automatic?



Is there feedback for each and every task youdo? Sports are notoriously enter to easy flow becausethere is immediate and accurate feedback: you missedthe goal, you made the goal, that player took the ballaway from you, you need to get the ball back. If youengage in a work task, what information provides you with the answer to the question: How do I know I amdoing this correctly? Are there any guidelines for thistask? If not, you are simply floating in space and willhave a very difficult time efficiently using your timeand finding enjoyment in it.

Does the task obtain total control over your attention?Do you feel like you‘ve lost all perception of

yourself, totally engrossed in the task ?1. Do you feel totally in control of what‘s going on? These are all criteria that can help produce ―autotelicexperiences‖ — which Dr. C describes through hisresearch as inherently enjoyable in itself.

The Next StepMy suggestion is this: try some of the proposedalterations at work and see how it goes. Remember tospend time consciously thinking about how to improve your work situation based on specifics — and rememberthat work does NOT necessarily = tedium, pain andsuffering. We have been culturally inoculated to believe

that work = painful and thus leisure = freedom andenjoyment. It‘s time to change the status quo. Flow goes on to state that the prime complaints in the workplace are (first and foremost) a lack of variety andchallenge.

It is fully within your power to change any

and all aspects of your work environment



Why One Year Abroad Taught Me More Than Four Yearsat College


―Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely onthese accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of

men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in onelittle corner of the earth all one‘s lifetime.‖

-Mark Twain

In August 2010 I Moved to China.

Why not, right? I worked for a year after I graduateduniversity, wanted a change of scenery, and thendecided to move to China for an indefinite amount of time. (Side note: that ―indefinite‖ time lasted 1 year before I ran out of money, and didn‘t want to teachEnglish to stay there).

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No Biggie. Here‘s Why You ShouldToo:1. You are forced to learn way more than you ever

ordinarily would in a year2. The potential use of an added foreign language is

enormous3. It‘s a guaranteed way to escape the everyday-is-the-

same blues

Accelerated LearningThe degree to which you are able to learn a lot of

material quickly usually depends on the urgency or how often you use it. In a new place you‘ll be learningsubway & bus routes, the general lay out of the city in which you live, your new house or apartment, new people, a new culture, and potentially a new language.

Learning the language is potentially one of the mosttelling signs of whether someone knows the culture or

not. I‘ll talk about that a little later.

Yeah moving to a new place is nerve-wrecking, andtroublesome, and at times overwhelming. But that’sthe point. Only once you get beyond the boundary (the―I already have this skill down pat‖ boundary) do you begin to evolve. Stay tuned for my post on FLOW, which

will go way deeper into this idea of seriously acceleratinglearning of skills, improving quality of life, andproviding you with daily reasons to be happy.It‘s ridiculously important.我喜欢吃狗肉 (Translation: I like Eating Dog Meat)



Honestly, It‘s not bad tasting. A little stringy and fatty, but who knows what kind of dog it was I ate. I hope it was cute, like that little doggie there =>Regarding the myriad potential uses of anotherlanguage: From fun to practical:

1. It makes you seem wordly (and you become worldly in the process)2. Awesome benefits while traveling (useful, fun, meet

new friends)3. It makes you feel accomplished. You‘ve just learned a

skill.4. More job opportunities (Contingent upon what

language, and what location)

5. Huge insight into the culture in which it originatedEscape the 9-5 Zombie BluesRemember when you were little and everything wasexciting, life was fresh and every time you woke up there was an adventure to be had?

What does it feel like today? I‘d bet you feel like…. most

of the rest of humanity. Monotony. Boredom.

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Routines. A little spice here and there. But mostly it‘sthat ―content‖ everything is fine feeling. And that ―fine‖ feeling is insidious, because you think it‘s okay. If someone were to ask if you were happy, I bet you‘d respond ―Hmmm.. yeah, I think so.‖ Really convincing.

A while back I read an article discussing theories as to why life becomes less fresh and captivating over time. A theory that stuck out to me was this: As we get older,new experiences become more and more scarce.

Seen that flower. Seen that dog. Played that game. Learned to ride a bike. Seen this scenery 500 times. I know how to get around town. Living abroad is an opportunity to be brand spankin‘new. Although there will be routine, there willguaranteed be fresh experiences every day, there will beserious connections that you make, there will beguaranteed learning, and you will most certainly escape

the ―worker bee‖ feeling.

Cheese Cake, Chocolate Mousse,Tiramisu… Too Many Options The last reason I‘d suggest moving abroad? Exposure.Exposure to a greater variety of things gives you thepotential to find something you really latch onto and are

passionate about. And this is the single greatest reason to liveabroad for any period of time.Greater exposure to ideas, people, and opportunities will without a doubt leave your mind awake at night withpossibilities. Who knows, maybe you‘ll stick aroundlonger than you thought.



The potential for ―aha‖ moments (regarding ideas) andconnections (regarding people) is huge. Remember,more experience means more connections for your brainto make.

Why Languages Are The Sum Total of CultureThere are a couple reasons why a language gives youhuge insight into the culture. I‘ll briefly jump in andgive you a few personal examples:

1. Sayings and idioms in a language often have historical

and cultural roots. E.g. Chinese has成语, which are

idioms usually based upon historical tales。For

example,塞翁失马 (―The Old Man Lost His Horse‖)

comes from an old Taoist story, and essentially meanssomething along the lines of a ―blessing in disguise‖.

2. Languages have idiosyncrasies that often tell muchabout a particular culture‘s way of thinking: e.g.

words that are untranslatable. 关系 Guanxi is a goodexample in chinese, because it means much morethan simply ―connections.‖ Guanxi also forms amassive part of Chinese culture, even in modernChina.

3. Languages are obviously how the culture‘s people

interact, and thus are necessary if you want to get theinside scoop

What Do You Think?Have you lived abroad?

Do you plan to live abroad?

Is it worthwhile? Are there reasons not to? Any horrorstories? Feel free to share.



Why Luck Doesn‘t Exist


―I‘m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I

work, the more I have of it.‖ -Thomas Jefferson

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Why Luck is Deceptive

I used luck as a cowardly excuse for both my failures andsuccesses for a long time. I had no idea that I was using

luck as a scapegoat, until a couple years ago.

And honestly, my life changed going from thinkingthat certain opportunitiespresented themselves due to―luck‖, ―chance,‖ or ―fate,‖ to knowing that it was because of my own personal decisions (or lack thereof).

A Brief Story

For the majority of my life, until a couple years ago, Itended to see good opportunities as blessings. I would view an awesome, unique opportunity to travel asdestiny. An amazing girl comes into my life? Fate. The best or worst job I‘ve ever had? Deliberate, planned and

designed. They were all viewed as luck becausethey were far and few in-between. The things that came into my life that were ―perfect‖ were so far in between that, of course, I viewed them asheaven-sent and deserved.I now believe that 90% of the situations we experienceor fail to experience are due to exposure and being bold, while 10% are actually due to luck or other opportune

circumstances.

I think that quite a few of us believe that opportunitiesregarding the opposite sex, jobs, or unique out-of-the- blue opportunities are at least sometimes ―meant to be.‖Let me tell you why I think this couldn‘t be further fromthe truth.


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The Actual Situation

Most of us use luck as an excuse whether or not we know it.

People who tend to say ―oh my god I met this guy and Idon‘t want to lose him‖ tend to be the people whoeither A. Don’t get to date much or B. Don’tencounter their type much or C. People whodon’t get out much. All of those can be remedied by ―putting yourself out there more.‖ None necessarily haveto do with luck, fate, or opportunities of a lifetime. And guess what? More than one person I‘ve talked to who has ―put themselves out there‖ has started to believe less and less in destined meetings, and more andmore in luck as ―what happens when preparation meetsopportunity‖ as Seneca famously said.

Good things just happen when you do it right.

The CriteriaRight now you need to honestly assess yourself. Whenan awesome out of the blue opportunity shows up, do you regard it as destiny or simply as a nice opportunity to take hold of?

How often do ―out-of-the- blue‖ opportunities show up

for you? Once a week? Once a month? Once a year?Once every few years?

When an incredible romantic situation presents itself,do you view it as ―finally, a chance‖, and quickly becomeafraid of losing that ―opportunity?‖

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When after a year of unemployment you finally find a job, do you attribute it to chance, or opportunity? ―It was the right time..‖ I used to tell myself a lot.

The Personality Scoop

As a brief recap, I‘ve established an artificial dichotomy here:

― Waiters‖ – People who view unique opportunitiesas serendipitous, due to fate, luck, destiny. Feel in

control that 10% of the time when an opportunity presents itself. (It presents itself – they rarely findopportunities on their own)

―Go-getters‖ – People who regularly put themselvesout there and believe in opportunity (and getopportunities). Opportunities have a less powerfulhold on them because they see them more often. They influence their reality and totally (90% of the time)

control itThis dichotomy has been well-established before, but Ithink it becomes more meaningful with personalexamples. One day I realized I was waiting for things to be given to me, and then I changed my situation.

The Reality

I don‘t know about you, but If I knew that ―doing,‖―having stones,‖ and ―putting myself out there,‖ were thesolutions to an almost lifelong problem, my life would

be way different. The most important things that I have concludedabout luck are the following: The most important reason for being a ―go-getter‖

is the feeling of being in control. The feeling of waiting for something totally sucks. There is



nothing that makes people more afraid than feelingpowerless. It doesn‘t feel good.

Go-getters experience way moreopportunities romantically, in work, and in travel.Mathematically there is just a statistically betterchance of experiencing more by exposing yourself tomore. Makes sense, right?

I used luck as an excuse for laziness, for being a coward,and for being unwilling to change.

Becoming a Revolutionary

Sure I think luck is a big part of life. And by big I mean10%. That other 90% is totally under your control, andis entirely optional as to whether or not you use it.

You can sit back and wait and 10% of the time get what you want. Or, 90% of the time you can get what you want – and with ―luck‖ on your side, all the time.

I‘m so surprised people haven‘t mentioned this before, because all the time I hear friends talk about how lucky they are… Expose yourself to more, and you will experience more.Swallow your pride, grow some stones, and takeopportunities that normally scare the shit out of you.That is the only way to experience more and grow.

The choice is always yours, you can choose to bepowerful, in control of your destiny, and live a fruitfullife. Or you can wait for opportunities to happen, and when they (rarely) do, you can thank the heavens and your lucky stars.

I decided to man up, and take the latter. But the choiceis up to you.



How to Learn Any Skill 2x as Fast in Half the Time — Making Greatness, Pt. 1


― How you invest your time into something is muchmore important than how much time you invest.‖ -Unknown

There is Skill Involved in LearningSkills

I want to lay something down here first of all: themajority of us suck at learning skills. Believe it or

not, there is a skill.. to learning skills. Just like there are better ways to learn, there are ways and methods thatcan seriously improve the rate at which you learnanything skill related- whether that‘s a sport, instrumentor new language.Rote repetition or memorization usually falls at the bottom of the list regarding efficient methods forlearning. Sure it works if you invest a ton of time, but

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it‘s boring as hell and extremely unrewarding comparedto other methods.

Why Practice ―Deliberately?‖ The majority of this post is going to come from two mainsources: my own experience trying a huge variety of learning techniques (e.g. sources unknown) OR literary sources, particularly Flow: The Psychology of OptimalExperience and Talent Is Overrated.

The ―why‖ part of the question is easy: you can learnpretty much anything (especially sports and tangibleskills) way faster than you could or wouldotherwise. There is loads of research backing up whatI‘m going to share here, so keep posted! This isaccelerated learning at its best.

What is ―Deliberate Practice?‖

Here are some ―givens‖ I want you to have faith in forthe moment:

The amount of hours practiced is only weakly correlated with skill (remember that)

The greatest of the great usually do not have innateskills or super high IQs

You can keep getting better at a skill, indefinitely Hard work itself does NOT lead to greatness How you use your time practicing is way more

important than how much time you use** What deliberate practice actually is:

Focused, regimented training with target goals andfeedback

Finding specific parts of your skill to train













Keeping yourself within the learning curve at all times Highly demanding intellectually Avoiding automation in training

How to Apply the Principles Here

Throughout this explanation, I‘m going to use learningtennis as an example.

There are three phases in learning a skill in regard toDeliberate Practice: the before, during and after phases.

Before 1. Have a clear goal. E.g. hit the tennis ball over

the net. Without a goal, it is very difficult tomeasure progress, and especially easy to hitplateaus once you get into the middle-high levelphases of a skill.

2. Have a specific task for each training

session. E.g. today, work on serving the balland making it over the net.

During 1. Self observation with clear feedback . E.g.

if you have hit 15 balls, and not one has goneover the net, why is that? Change your grip andtry again. Change your foot position. Change your follow through. Change your power. Try

each of these as an experiment and make sure whatever you test has clear feedback .

2. Clear feedback means this: if I hit the ball softly,it won‘t go over the net. If I hit it hard, it will. Feedback is an immediate, clearindicator of the results from testing a new

variable. I know that hitting the ball softly inthis case won‘t work, so I hit it a little harder.Clear feedback.



After 1. Comparison to some other standard.

Comparison is often the only way to determine your skill level. You have two options here: A.Compare yourself to a previous record you hador B. Compare yourself to someone else‘s record.

2. The only way to improve your skill is toconsistently improve since the last time. Write down and beat your previousrecord. The only way to improve is stretch

your limits.

1. Faster serve? Record your last one, and trainuntil you beat it.2. More accurate backhand? Set up targets on

various parts of the court and hit theincreasingly difficult ones.

3. Better overhand? Practice getting the ball tighter and tighter over the net. You needspecifics to train and improve or else you‘re

just spinning your wheels.

A Brief Recap

I want you to print this out and put it on your wall. Nexttime you are learning something new, refer to it every single training session:

A. Have a goal to reach, and a specific part of yourskill to train. The goal needs to be a little harder thanthe previous ones, and extremely specific.

B. Have feedback while training. Are you reaching thegoal or not? Test strategies and try it again.

C. Review your training and set a new goal to reachnext training session.



Learning Any Skill 2x as Fast in Half the Time: MakingGreatness, Pt. 2


<Note: This is part 2 of a three part series.The first part can be found here.>

―Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by themediocrities.‖ -Oscar Wilde

The Down and Dirty: Part 2.In the first part of this post, the discussion wasexclusively on the principles of Deliberate Practice asfound in the book Talent is Overrated and othersources.This time, we’re going to talk about the following

two aspects of skill learning: A. The Learning Curve (Staying in Flow)

B. Avoiding Automation in Training Via Intention

The Flow of the Learning Curve In my opinion, one of the most valuable contributionsthe book Flow gives us is the diagram on page 74.

Csikszentmihalyi describes the life cycle inherent to

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maintaining flow. If you forgot, his research concludedthat [time spent in] flow is one of the greatest predictorsof how quickly you advance at a skill, and how much youenjoy it.So, take a look at the diagram to the right for a moment.Phase A1 represents the starting phases of a new skill(again we‘ll use tennis as the example).

In phase A1 you are in Flow. Hitting the ball over thenet is not very difficult, so it‘s likely to be enjoyable for aperiod of time.

But you cannot stay at that level for long. After awhile, as your skills naturally improve you‘ll get bored just hitting the ball over the net, and enter A2. Or, you meet a much more skilled opponent or task whichmakes you enter A3, a state of anxiety.

Neither boredom nor anxiety are enjoyable states to bein, so you‘ll try to get back to the flow state. How do you

enter flow this time? By increasing your skills. A1 and A4, however, are not the same state eventhough both are in the flow state. As Dr. Cspecifically states:―The diagram shows that both A1 and A4 representsituations in which [a person] is in flow. Although bothare equally enjoyable, the two states are quite differentin that A4 is a more complex experience than A1. It is






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more complex because it involves greater challenges,and demands greater skills from the player‖ (P. 75)

Furthermore A4 is also not a stable state. You may think that once you‘ve entered flow you can just stay there, that it‘sstatic. Unfortunately that‘s not the case. As you keepplaying tennis you‘ll either get bored by the currentchallenges, or frustrated by your lower level of ability versus someone else.

And then what? The motivation to enjoy yourself again will push you once more to get back into flow, andthis time it will be at a state even beyond A4.―It is this dynamic feature that explains why flowactivities lead to growth and discovery. One cannot enjoy doing the same thing at the same level for long.We grow either bored or frustrated; and then thedesire to enjoy ourself again pushes us to stretch our

skills, or to discover new opportunities for using them.‖

You cannot grow stale. The only way to reach higherstates of complexity, enjoyment, and skill is toconstantly push oneself to new levels.

Maintaining a balance between a task that is ―toodifficult‖ and ―too easy‖ is one of the keys to constant,

continual improvement when learning a skill. That isequally true for sports as well as things like weightlifting, improving flexibility, playing the piano etc.

Avoiding AutomationIf there were one phrase to help you remember theprinciples here, in learning a new skill, it would be thefollowing set of words: Be mindful. Use Intention. Avoid Automaticity.



There is one major reason why being mindful when youuse a new skill is so important: A. You will be aware of whether or not you have fallen into the A2 A3 boredomanxiety states, and B. You will know how to tweak yourperformance to improve it.

For example: You‘re practicing serving, but can‘t getthe ball over the net. On Automatic (not mindful): You keep trying.

You hit harder, you get more focused, you get moreangry, you get frustrated. You don‘t know what is

wrong. Not on Automatic (mindful): You hit the ball 5

times. It doesn‘t go over. You tweak your grip on theracket 45*, and try again. 3/5 Make it over. Youfocus your intent on hitting the ball at it‘s highestpoint on your serve, when your body is most stretchedout. 5/5 Get over. You are feeling inside your

body while serving. Your intention is inside

your serve. Your head is in the game. Geoffrey Colvin in his book Talent is Overrated talksabout the paradox of automaticity:―Frequently, when we see great performers doing what they do, it strikes us that they‘ve practiced for so long,and done it so many times, they can just do it automatically. But in fact, what they have achieved isthe ability to avoid doing it automatically. Great performers never allow themselves to reach theautomatic, arrested development stage in their chosen field. That is the effect of continuous deliberate practice — avoiding automaticity.” (Emphasismine)

This, I think, is one of the most rewarding, andremarkable statements I have ever stumbled upon.



Put yourself into the skill you are learning. Be aware of the work you do. Are you shooting baskets mindlessly,or are you feeling what part of your body moves as youshoot?

Keep the principles of Flow and Deliberate Practice inthe front of your mind, and you are sure to succeed.

How to Learn Any Skill Twice as Fast in Half the time, Pt.3: Intent


<Note: This is part 3 of a three part series. The first part can be found here. The second

part can be found here.>

Check out the look in thatguy‘s eyes.Bet you wouldn‘t want to mess with him, huh?

Well let me tell you a little secret here: one of thegreatest, most powerful tools that is relatively unknown is the power of intent. And I‘m not talking law of attraction stuff here.

I‘m talking friday night in a club, the look that girl gives you that makes your knees weak.

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The half squinted, knows what she wants, in control,ready to attack you and take everything look. Sexy. Tothe average joe, it‘s like the look of a prizefighter ready to smash your face in. Intimidating.

Warriors of China

On the other side of the globe, practitioners of 内家 (theinternal martial arts) knew this power for a long time.Taiji, Bagua, and Xingyi are the most famous martialarts that place an emphasis on intent training.

Entire combat systems are based upon theconcept of intent! 意拳（ Yiquan) literally means

―intention boxing‖形意拳 Xingyiquan means―form/intent boxing.‖ Entire schools of kung fu make students train yearsholding single poses just to train their intent.

So what‘s the deal here? And what the hell does kungfuhave to do with business, travel, or life in general?

Remember back in the second post about avoidingautomation?Let me refresh your memory with one of the seriously important quotes:―Frequently, when we see great performers doing what

they do, it strikes us that they‘ve practiced for so long,and done it so many times, they can just do itautomatically. But in fact, what they have achieved isthe ability to avoid doing it automatically . Greatperformers never allow themselves to reach theautomatic, arrested development stage in their chosenfield. That is the effect of continuous deliberatepractice — avoiding automaticity.‖ (Emphasis

mine)



Everyone knows there‘s a difference between anunproductive 3 hours of work, and a productive 45minutes. They are probably worth the same in terms of ―work accomplished.‖

And I bet you remember learning to play sports as a kid, baseball for example.

―Keep your eye on the ball…‖ ―See yourself hitting it outthe park …‖ ―Put all your attention on the pitcher…‖

These are about intention.Intention is one of the key foundations of learning a skillrapidly, not wasting your time, and improving personalproductivity.Even just putting all your attention into the moment andsaying, ―I have to get this shitdone‖ is using the powerof intent.The same is true for any nightly rituals (to aid sleep),

pre-surgery rituals (to ensure the surgeon‘s mind is inthe game), or morning rituals (exercise, meditation,stretching). You are doing an exercise in intention.

The cold blooded killer’s secret We‘ve all had that creepy feeling that someone is watching.

Even more often, we‘ve had that feeling that someone is watching us – and looked right in the direction of theperson to their surprise.

A skilled con artist can make you believe anything. They can make you feel anything. They can make you trustthem, and be willing to go along with anything they say.

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How? They are masters of intent. They know exactly how to emit a certain vibe of being calm, cool, andnormal.I talked a lot about the danger signs, intuition, anddanger avoidance in another series of posts.

The surgeon’s swordsmanship Dr. Mihaly Csikczentmihalyi in his Book Flow: ThePsychology of Optimal Experience mentions surgery as being a profession that has the principles of flow inherently built in.Surgeons #1 go through a ritual to prepare- most of

them have their own thing. Playing basketball.Listening to classical music. Going for a drive in the car.These are all rituals to get their heads in the game (read:get their intent straight). According to many surgeons, based on Dr. C‘s analysis,time is described as being rather enjoyable in surgery. Itpasses quickly, the goals are clear and distinct, and thereis an obvious entry and exit point at which the surgeon

can tune on/off.

That moment when the surgeon expertly excises adiseased organ, when a basketball player makes a crucialshot and makes it, or when a person narrowly escapesdeath in a freak accident — is often due to intent.That intense focus on the current task .

It is much more psychologically demanding thanregular attention or focus. And much more rewarding. Itis deliberate practice. When you hit the zone, you have gotten your intent straight.

What intent can teach us As a brief recap so far, we have established that:

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A woman can seduce you with just the intent in hereyes

China has a long history of martial arts based ontraining intent/intention

In the book Talent Is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else, maintaining a strong presence of intention andavoiding automaticity, are cited as key points inaccelerated skill learning

Criminals can fake intent to lead you in a certain way You can pick up on the intent of others Rituals are a way of establishing intent for a certaingoal or task Surgeons are well-acquainted with the flow producing

qualities of their job – where they are placed in thezone and have crystal clear intent

―The Zone‖ in sports is a state of harmony between your intent and your actions

The power of intention is worth payingattention to.The ultimate test of how quickly you‘ll learn a new skillis how well you master intent.

The Paradox of Education

by AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 1 COMMENT

―Plants are shaped by cultivation and men by

education… We are born weak, we need strength; weare born totally unprovided, we need aid; we are bornstupid, we need judgment. Everything we do not haveat our birth and which we need when we are grown is

given us by education.‖ -Jean Jacques Rousseau





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The Irony of Formal Schooling

When I was younger, I suspect the educational system was a lot similar to how it has been the past 5,000 years.

Lots of rote memorizing of rules, words, lists. Lots of repetition in class and lots of writing. Lots of stuff thatmeant nothing to me and had no connection to my brain, interests, or any of my aspirations.

The biggest kick in the pants was that they told me tomemorize all this stuff and never taught me how to do it. School never provided me with the tools tolearn, but instead told me to learn.

I Was A Little Dumbstruck

I mean come on, people have been formally attendingschools for… 5,000 years? And people have formally been passing on knowledge via teaching… since the

daw n of time? Perhaps that‘s where everything has




changed — the shift from the oral tradition to the time when writing was widely available.

But during all of this time, nobody figured out a way to learn more, faster? Highly unlikely. So that‘s where I set about researching some of the roots of learning techniques. As it turns out, the oldest that Icould find come from the oral tradition.

Every Good Boy Does Fine – All Cows EatGrass

A common story that books on memory techniques like to begin with is that of Simonides of

Ceos: ―That proud tradition began, at least according tolegend, in the fifth century B.C. with the poet Simonidesof Ceos standing in the rubble of the great banquet hallcollapse in Thessaly. As the poet closed his eyes and

reconstructed the crumbled building in his imagination,he had an extraordinary realization: He remembered where each of the guests at the ill-fated dinner had beensitting. Even though he had made no conscious effort tomemorize the layout of the room, it had nevertheless lefta durable impression upon his memory. From thatsimple observation, Simonides reputedly invented atechnique that would form the basis of what came to beknown as the art of memory.‖

- Moonwalking with Einstein, p. 93 So Simonides essentially remembered a huge number of guests at this banquet hall that collapsed. Sounds like apretty sweet party trick. Sound like an even better trick to use for university, work, or simply learning a new skill

(including languages).



The Tools I Was Never Given

Right now I‘m going to jump into the meat of it, and give you guys an intro on the two mnemonic techniques I use

the most frequently, in order of frequency. Many of them can be found in The Memory Book by Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas. This was my first resource inre-learning these old skills.The Link Method The link method is a way of memorizing all sorts of information by converting them into pictures, and thenassociating the pictures to each other. The human brainis particularly good at spatial memory, not temporal,

and thus is visually based.Think about it: if I told you to close your eyes and then Isaid ―tiger,‖ would you see a tiger or the letters T I G ER? You‘d see a tiger obviously. Useful for: Memorizing lists, long words and any sortof information or processes

The Method: Say for example you want to remember ashopping list. We have ten items: carrots, Aunt JemimaSyrup, frosted flakes, frozen waffles, milk, chicken,gatorade, chips, peanut butter and raisins.Start with the first and begin to associate it with thesecond: Carrots and Aunt Jemima Syrup. Here‘s how I(for example) would turn them into tangible images that you can associate with each other. Imagine




a carrot acting like a mime pouring syrup over his body.Got it? You have a carrot miming and pouring syrup onhis body. Carrot. Aunt Jemima. Associated with eachother.

Next we have frosted flakes and frozen waffles. Imaginethat suddenly a snowstorm of huge frostedflakes erupts, and they stick all over the carrot coveredin syrup. Enormous waffles wearing winterclothes come over to start shoveling the snow up.

Got those together? A snowstorm of frosted flakeserupts, and people-sized waffles come out to shovel it.

Important Things to Remember:1. Make the images ridiculous and totally extra-ordinary

(you won‘t remember them otherwise) 2. Run the whole line through your head once you are

done to make sure the links you made were good

enoughThe Link + Key Thought Method A great suggestion from The Memory Book. Useful for: reading materials, any sort of notebook orclass notes and speeches.The Method: You are already familiar with the link method, except now you are trying to remember a large body of research or material.First you would go through your class notes or yourspeech materials, and pick out the keywords. Forexample: Photosynthesis, Kreb‘s Cycle, Glucose, CarbonMonoxide, Mammalia, etc. Apply the link method aboveto associate these together.

A Speech: Pick key parts of the speech. E.g. you are

giving a eulogy and you want people to remember 3reasons why John Smith was a great man:



1. His incredible heart as a firefighter2. His unusual methods of teaching as a high school

teacher3. His inability to give up on his children

You‘d then associate firefighter to teacher to children.Then you can remember the pieces in between easier.

Two Extremely Practical Uses of Memory Techniques

1. Remembering faces2. Learning a foreign language

Remembering a Face1. Pick a distinguishing facial feature on the person‘s

face. Usually a large nose, receding hairline, scar or birth make, or other obvious thing that comes in yourmind will do.

2. Associate it with their name, using the link method.E.g. You meet a John with a big nose. I would imaginethe guy using his huge nose to plumb the toilet (a john).

Immediately once you see his nose again, there is no way you will forget that image. John will immediately come to mind.

Accelerated Learning of a Foreign Language

People seem to think learning a foreign language isdifficult. I‘m not sure where that originated, just like

I‘m not sure where the ―children learn a foreignlanguage faster than adults‖ myth originated.




In any case, these are some techniques you candefinitely use to improve the rate at which you learnanother language. I know they work because I usedthem to help me learn Chinese.

Learning Another LanguageSome great suggestions from Harry Lorayne and Jerry Lucas again:

Examples in French:

1. To remember père (Father): the word sounds like―Pear‖ in English, so you could picture a huge pear being your father

2. To remember pont (bridge): See yourself punting a bridge instead of a football

3. To remember pamplemousse (grapefruit): picturehuge pimples on a moose, except each pimple is agrapefruit

Time Consuming? Not Really.

At first they may seem time-consuming, and that may betrue at the beginning (as any skill is at the beginning).However, the time you can and will save is amazing,and I can‘t forsee any time in the near future when I willgo back to rote memorization of anything. Making wiser

use of your time frees more time for the things you love.

Perfect practice makes perfect.

Why Success Doesn‘t Require Discipline (And What itDoes Entail)


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There is a problem with most of us in the west. Whenever we want to reach a certain goal, achieve orstart something, we‘re always told to invest effort and bedisciplined. I really need to go on a diet! – Work hard at it anddiscipline yourself!

I want to build a successful business. – Work hard atit and discipline yourself! I want to be a better husband. – Work hard at it anddiscipline yourself! I want to run a marathon. – Work hard at it anddiscipline yourself! In the west we are obssessed with this idea of strugglingtowards success.



We‘re obsessed with using ―work more, work harder‖ asa panacae.

We‘re obsessed with effort and struggle. We‘re obsessed with things like ―finding your second wind‖ and ―giving it your all‖ and ―putting inextraordinary work for extraordinary success.‖

But I want to briefly ask you one thing: is thisassumption of what works even true? Ask anyone who forced themselves to go to the gym

every day. A year later are they still going? I‘d be willingto be my life savings they aren‘t.

And that‘s because discipline and willpower are short-lived. They take so much mental energy to maintain. Themore forced mental energy things take, the less likely we‘re to stick with them long-term.

That‘s why I‘m here to say that success isn‘t aboutstruggle or discipline, but about creating habits.

The tale of the struggling dieter and businessman

I am totally against the idea that life has to be a struggle.I realize we must all struggle at times, and in certainareas of our lives, but in my experience I have realizedthat a person can truly be successful in a world-class way while investing much less effort than most people.

Take John the average joe dieter (AJD). John hits 40 or50 and starts needing Cialis because he is too unhealthy to have a normal sex drive. (You can tell this is gonna be

juicy, right?)



January rolls around and John decides that his new yearresolution should be to get fit again. ―I‘m strong as anox, I could kick a 20 something‘s ass!‖ he tells himself.

So John decides he wants to get back in the gym again,even though he hates working out. Lifting weights is boring to him, he gets ADD, and he spends most of histime criticizing the other meatheads in the room orchecking out cougars.

John keeps telling himself ‖ Ok, work out = I can look

good, and get my sex drive back. Smaller belly, biggerproductivity at work. Healthier = more money made.‖

He doesn‘t want to wake up early before work becausethat would entail some 5 am days, so he kind of justgives himself that ―alright, time to go to the gym‖ peptalk after work, and when it works, he goes to the gymright away.

It works at the start – he‘s pumped, he‘s motivated, hestarts seeing a little bit of results.

A bigger bicep, a slimmer belly, better sleep, morealertness at work. It‘s working. So he sticks with it.

Now, where is John, this AJD (Average joe dieter) 6

months from now?

99.999999% of these AJDs end up skipping out on thegym once, because one day at 5 pm they end up gettingdrinks at happy hour with their buddies instead of sticking to the routine. The next week they only worksout once. And the following week they stop going. Six

months in they no longer work out at all.



———————–

People ask me how I don’t have a sweet tooth. Diet (or in your business, those small daily tasks thatadd up to success/failure) is often the hard part forpeople looking to get healthy.

Any dieter k nows that working out is the easy part. It‘sonly a couple hours a week.

But diet? Does anyone crave less tasty food? Not really.

But how many times do you eat or drink a day, whichrequire conscious choices? Dozens.Diet is the part that often takes ―effort‖ in the mind of the average dieter.

I want you to briefly compare the struggle of the AJD(Average joe dieter) to my ―struggle‖ to eat healthy.

I walk into the grocery store and I go into the ―real food‖section. You know, the plants and shit.

I then walk into the meat section. You know, animalsand shit.

I don‘t even go into the aisles with boxes.

Then I go home and cook that up. No sweets in site. Nocrap in a box in site. No artificial garbage in site.

Guess what? A few years after starting the abovehabit, it doesn’t take me any effort to not eatsweets. In fact, I often describe myself as notpossessing a sweet tooth now.



Put oreos and milanos and candy corns and stuff infront of me. It takes no effort not to eat them. I don‘t feelanything toward them.

And this is because I‘ve cultivated a life habit. It does nottake effort for me to avoid sweets or not watch tv. I do both automatically. I‘m programmed to not use thosethings in my daily life.

This is all effortless for me. But when people talk aboutme or describe me they think I have a ton of self control

or say I‘m ―lucky‖ that I don‘t have a sweet tooth.

It requires zero effort on my part.

Why success does not necessarilly require massive effort, struggle ordiscipline.

Someone once asked Somerset Maugham if he wrote ona schedule or only when struck by inspiration. ―I writeonly when inspiration strikes,‖ he replied. ―Fortunately

it strikes every morning at nine o‘clock sharp.‖ - Steven Pressfield

You know that thing called ―showing up every day?‖ Inthe really successful, it comesby way of habits and not by discipline or this massive struggle.

I‘m not saying everything in life will become effortless orno work, but I‘m saying things will become massively easier.

Let me give another example. I was the classic high school scrawny ―100 lbs wet‖ kid.Graduating college I was around 6′ 2″ and weighedaround 135. Yeah. That‘s like anorexically skinny, exceptI was actually eating food.



Despite the fact that I was lifting weights 4+ times a week, I had plateaued somewhere around 140, 145 1-2 years out of college. I thought I was eating a lot; Ithought I was doing everything right.

I was still horrendously, unattractively skinny.

Around the time that I moved to China, I decidedthis was a perfect opportunity to get bigger since food was cheap and I could afford to eat out every single mealof every day.

So here‘s what I did: instead of force feeding myself, Igot into the habit of waking up extra early for class, andthen programming reminders on my iPod to eat atcertain hour intervals. This went off 5+ times a day, 7days a week, for a year.

I just followed the checklist of instructions. I ingrainedthe habit every single time, every day. 5+ small habits.

7:30 am, 10:30 am, 1:30 pm, 4:30 pm, etc.

At the end of that year I weighed closed to 170 lbs — andgained very little fat (remember that part about eatingplants and meat and shit?).

Gaining 20-30 pounds of relatively healthy weight is anabsurd accomplishment, especially if anyone reading

this is a skinny kid who has tried gaining weight. That‘sa legendary achievement. And it was all pretty pain-freedue to ingraining certain habits.

It was an effortlessly epic achievement.

Lots of baby steps taken daily result in massive changes

over time.

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Stop thinking of how to invest moreeffort. Think of how to invest lesseffort. There‘s a massive shift that takes place in your life when you decide to view everything from the perspective of ―how can I do this smarter/differently/ morefrictionless‖ rather than ―how can I invest more and work harder.‖

We always say more effort, more struggle, more work.

Extraordinary success requires extraordinary work.

Uhhh, how about extraordinarily different or smartthinking? How about extraordinary success throughextraordinary laziness?

Whether it‘s for a diet, or for a relationship, or for your

business, what‘s with this EFFORT thing? Why would I want to compete on an even playing field with others where my only option is ―more work‖ ?

The big problem is that if you buy into this ―effort‖ thingthat we love hearing about in the west (Uber hard work = success!) you automatically assume that‘s the best way to get what you want. So dieting takes EFFORT. Success

takes EFFORT. Marriage takes EFFORT. Raising kidstakes EFFORT. You don‘t even realize there is another way.

But what if people told you that losing weight or gettingfit was effortless, done right? What if people told yousuccess was about making 5 or 10 little habits androutines you go through daily? What if people told youmarriage is much easier when you have a few key little



routines or things you do routinely for and with yourspouse?

You and only you make your life much harder than it hasto be. Hard work and effort becomes the hammer youlook for nails with.This ―hard work struggle‖ is a very myopic view of lifeand I feel like it should be your ―worst case scenario‖ . Worst comes to worst, you can invest 2 or 3 x the hoursinto something and you‘ll get better than everyone else.

But why would you want to settle for a worst-casescenario?

No one cares how hard you worked(there’s nothing glorious aboutmartyrs)―I loved working hard to get where I am, and to get the

things that I want. It makes me stronger, it makes mefeel like I earned the things I have.‖ Cool. You know what else is cool? No one cares how much you struggled. That‘s a bitter pill to swallow, but your boss only cares about the results you give him – whether that takes 1 hour or 10.

Some people just love being martyrs, they LOVE saying

they suffered for where they got. It gives them some sortof identity or something.

I don‘t mean to be an asshole (No, wait, I do), but peoplegenuinely don‘t care. They may empathize, they may ―feel for you‖ but now that you‘re where you are, they truthfully don‘t care how you got there.



Results, not time invested, is one of those key qualitiesseparating entrepreneurs and the successful fromeveryone else.Stop thinking about how you can make things

better by working harder and working more.Once you get into the habit of viewing life as requiringmassive effort, struggle, and work, it will become that way!

But if you view life, work and success as things thatshould become more effortless as you understand them

better, they‘ll become that way too.

This more effortless way is called habits. Any of you who have been in love know that it feelsinfinitely more effortless and natural than a relationshipthat doesn‘t work. It just makes sense. You put inmassive effort and it feels like fun.

This is how life becomes for people who understand andutilize the power of ingraining many small, daily habits.

Challenge the assumption that success has to requiremassive struggle and effort, and you may be surprised tolearn that it becomes a little more effortless.

The Single Most Overlooked Factor in Success


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Shopping around for options, second opinions,and more methods and tools for ―success‖appears to be human nature. Just look at the diet fads every 3-6 months. Regardlessof whether or not they work we LOVE the idea thatsomewhere around the corner is another tip,

another secret that will magically revolutionizehow we achieve xxxx goal. Books on business and success are a huge industry – itseems like every famous person these days writes a book. Every kid that becomes a millionaire writes a book. Every person that achieves some level of financialsuccess starts a class. Why? Is there really that much ―new‖ stuff in the world?

Are there that many ―new‖ principles for success? Doesthe internet behave that differently from ―real‖ life?



Even in relationships, people have a notoriously hardtime committing these days and is constantly weighingoptions — what is going on here?

The pursuit of success is no different; people are alwayslooking for something new, just another magical tip tocomplete their 456 part formula to wealth.

But it doesn’t work.

The more you read the more you suck

We love having tons of tools at our disposal. We loveha ving options. We love second guessing and ―shoppingaround.‖ Right?

In the fitness industry it‘s very much like the

business/success industry.

―Oh there‘s a nutrient that your diet is missing, omega3′s omega 6′s, B vitamins, fish oil yadda yadda yadda.‖

We love the prospect that right around thecorner is something revolutionary and new, that

will change our diet success or business success.

But it never freaking happens!That‘s because there are basic principles that underly almost everything in the world, and no matter how many times you split the subject into a millionsubsections, nothing will change without committing tosome basic principles. And that‘s the essence – people today do not pick oneprinciple or technique and commit. Today’s peopleare notoriously short on commitment.



More books, more tools, more more more = you probably won‘t use it

Open up your closet and just look at how much shit is inthere. My god, I‘m only 25, not at all a horder, and I have closeto 1,000 books I haven‘t read since I was 15. Literally.

My desk is stuffed with shit that I haven‘t used oncesince childhood.

My drawers are loaded with clothes that 99% of the timeI don‘t wear. I just have too much stuff.

I suspect your life is much the same – extremely cluttered with stuff that is, to be honest, shit you don‘tneed.

Okay, that‘s not my point though. My point is that the

more stuff you have (including tools, books, dietadvice, biz advice) the less likely you are toeffectively use it. Remember the jam study? In group A, consumers had a choice between 24 jams.

In group B, there were 6.

More people stopped by to browse the counter with the24 selection, only 3% of those visitors actually purchased something.,

In the group with only 6 james, 30% of peoplepurchased one.

This is the classic analysis paralysis study – so many options leaves many of us totally overwhelmed thinking

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/27/your-money/27shortcuts.html






―Shit, uhhhh, uhhhh, uhhhh, yeah.. okay I need to pick something.‖ It makes thinking foggy.

What would happen if you picked just onething and committed to it?

What would happen instead of buying that 35th business book, you went back to square 1.

What would happen if you picked one book, and set eachmoth, or 6 months or year to appl y one single

principle. I‘ve got hundreds of pages of highlights that I typedup, saved, and printed from just about every business book I‘ve read. I have a three page single-spaced word document withover a hundred tips I‘ve collected from the internet ongrowing your blog.

My mom has shelves upon shelves of business books,her ―to-read‖ list is 40+ books long. Obviously there‘sno way she can possibly apply the books she has in thatshort of a time. There‘s just no way.

Shelves upon shelves of business books, we deceiveourselves into thinking we somehow become ―smarter‖or ―better at business‖ but shoving in such vastquantities of ―stuff.‖

One day I casually spoke to my mom about thepossibility of stopping reading for an entire year to apply the stuff she (and I) have learned in business books.

I cited an example, ―Alright, you claim you like this book

on business automation and simplification, so why haven‘t you applied anything from the book to your



business? With all the stuff around here there‘s no way in hell you did an 80/20 analysis of what‘s important.How many other extremely useful tips from other bookshave you been missing?‖

It‘s too much.

It seems like most of us just read and read and read anddon‘t apply, until we‘ve read so much that we read thesame damn thing over and over and over and go ―ahhhh,I think there‘s a reason why everyone repeated this.‖

The SINGLE most overlooked factor insuccess

…. Is picking one principle and committing to it.

There are tons of principles for success that really work.But they aren‘t as simple as making sure your diet has

more fish oil.

Instead of reading articles about 456 little tweaks andtips to help be more successful, find the principles thatunderly those tips and tweaks – maybe successfulpeople just have bigger balls than you. Can it be assimple as staying uncomfortable and avoidingstagnation by learning?Instead of buying another diet book, why notstart reading the same science that doctors read.Get the fruit right from the vine – educate yourself. Go

buy a damn book on physiology and stop passing onignorant comments based on bullshit science you hearin the gym.If you‘re trying to get bigger, stop reading about every

goddamn supplement on bodybuilding.com and every nutrient and vitamin your diet needs. Chances are,

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/05/successful-people-have-bigger-balls-than-you-and-that-may-be-all-that-matters/








the y‘re bullshit. Chances are, broader, more obviouschanges will produce much better changes.

If you‘re trying to build a blog or a successful online business, don‘t break everything into itty bitty pieces,put the pieces together and find out what threadsunderly everything. Is twitter really about timing,headlines, and a cool icon, or is it about havingsomething people actually want to read about?

If you‘re trying to be wildly successful at what you do,

you shouldn‘t be writing down a thousand notes aftereach book.

You should be saying ―Ooooh I remember reading thisprinciple in another place!‖ You should be looking forsimilarities not differences.

So what principle guides your success?

I‘ve subtlety mentioned this before — I have oneprinciple that guides my entire life.

It guides everything – how I treat my girlfriend, how Igo about my daily life, how I have conversations

with pretty girls, how I make decisions, how I solvepersonal problems, how I go about work and business.

You canread more about what it is here. That is my one principle that guides my life. And it works unreasonably well.

It doesn‘t matter what domain I apply it in. Diet andfitness, business, personal development, anything.

Pick one thing, and commit.

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There are no new magical pieces to theformula, nothing is waiting ―out there‖ for you

If there‘s one thing the world needs now it‘s people whocan say NO. More knowledge is NOT better.

Reading a book a week is a stupid idea that could befatal to your success.

We ned people who can cut through ll the shit, all the

adrenaline that comes from opening up a book thatpotentially carries ―the next great secret.‖

We need people who can say I‘m going to apply just thisone thing, this one rule, for an entire year. I‘m gonnareally chew on this book.

There‘s this incessant drive forward forward forward as

if people think that if you aren‘t growing at 1000000miles an hour you aren‘t growing.

There‘s this feeling that if you don‘t collect the latest,most up-to-date twitter tips article you‘re going to be leftin the dust by some new magical secret.

Chill. Those magical secrets don‘t exist. You won‘t be left inthe dust. In fact, while your friends are analyzing thenewest diet or success book, you‘ll be surpassing them inlight years by utilizing the single most overlooked factorin success:

Sticking with one principle and committing to

it.



9 Ways to Suck at Life and Never Accomplish Anything


Really Ridiculously Predictable Ways

to FailThe following is going to be kept short and sweet. Thereis going to be a list of 9 basic ways to guaranteed fail atlearning a skill, accomplishing your work goals, orrealizing dreams. This one may mess with your head alittle, so pay attention!

9 Ways to Really Suck at Life1. Don’t ever have dreams. You know, because no one famous or who has succeededin life has ever had dreams either. Most of them just blindly worked a blistering amount of hours, barefootuphill both ways, right? 2. Don’t have any goals.

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Goals are totally pointless and are only long-term. What‘s the point of writing down my five and ten yearplan if I‘m only going to forget it? Besides, who actually writes down their goals? Besides, it‘s easy to track my own progress in my head.3. Don’t learn new skills according to theprinciples of ―deliberate practice.‖ Everyone knows that the greatest of the great in allfields got that way just by sheer hours put in. 10,000hours, or something like that. There can‘t be a faster,smarter way to learn skills..

4. Don’t ever consider that there is more thanone way to do something. Innovators are stupid hippy dreamers who don‘t havetheir feet on the ground. Besides, why would I make up anew way to do something if someone has already done itfor me? Wall-street guarantees my 6 figure income andheart attack. That‘s all I want from life! 5. Don’t live your life according to Dr.

Csikczentmihalyi’s principles on ―Flow.‖ Like I said, life enjoyment comes from cars, women,shallow relationships, and pretty much getting what you want. Who needs anything else? There can‘t be aformula for success, for happiness, for the ability tosleep well at night. No one has studied it and anyways,there‘s no way that one principle underlies humanhappiness. 6. Don’t ever think to yourself ―If I have a

burning desire for something, I can get it.‖ Self-help is for tools, anyway.7. Have dreams but don’t have the balls to dothe work for them. Ehhhh the remote is.. so… far..away. You mean I haveto work for some money? I have to work double the

hours the week I get back If I want to skip out toThailand for two weeks? Ughhhhh too much effort.



















8. Definitely don’t have the unshakableconviction that what you want, you deserve andcan get. Whelp, that was difficult. Good thing I can flee to Chinaand become an English teacher!9. Always let other people influence your drive. Daddy says I‘m a little whiner. Mommy says I‘m aquitter. My friends say I have stupid dreams and don‘thave the ambition. My girlfriend thinks that I‘m a junkiedrop out. Well THAT was the easiest decision of my life!Back to World of Warcraft.

Ponder these and let me know what you think. If you’re life isn’t based on

principles, what is it based on?

Is Your Dream Worth $1,000,000?by AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 1 COMMENT

―Money isn‘t everything. But it sure makes life a hell of a lot more fun‖

-Unknown

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The Tale of the Lad Who Had noMoney

I‘m in a tough spot right now. Like many of my friends,

I moved back in with my parents, I have little freemoney to spend, and very few personal and professionaloptions to choose from.

One day, out of boredom, curiosity, and an extreme needto get the hell out of the house, I sat down in a cafe and wrote down ―everything I want to do, ever.‖

I‘ll talk about the list later, but one thing that surprisedme was….

It doesn’t even come near to $1,000,000 dollarsto fulfill every single one of my short termdreams.I mean, for now, I left out things like owning a 35million dollar yacht to party on, partying in the




international space station with a pair of Russianmidgets, having a private plane, etc.But I really wrote down EVERYTHING, including an$80,000+ car, a place to stay, unlimited travel, beingfluent in 4 languages, the whole she-bang.

It‘s so ridiculously plausible that I simply had to writeabout it.

#1 Why the million-dollar dream ispointless

As a society, we collectively joke about ―winning amillion dollars‖ or ―winning the lotto.‖ I‘m not evengoing to really go in detail, but there‘s probably apositive correlation between people who don‘t dreamabout $1,000,000 yet have a million dollars.

If you ask the average person what they‘d do with a

million bucks 90% say something along the linesof: ―Ummmm, dunno, go on a cruise in the Bahamas?‖ ―Buy a sports car‖ ―Go to Paris‖ 8% say something along the lines of: ―Give my parents money to help them‖ ―Help my friends‖ and 1-2% know exactly what they’d do. The majority of these responses are as close to worthlessas you can get. They are extremely poorly thought outpipe dreams with no use. The majority of lottery winnersend up broke again within a decade.







#2 Puzzling responses

So if you won a million dollars, the best, most worthwhile, memorable thing you‘d do is buy another

car? Go drink beer somewhere else?

I doubt it. I bet you‘d want to find wa ys to milk thatmoney until the end.

If I asked you: ―Okay, in spending this $1,000,000dollars, in what ways could you spend it so as to

best remember it?‖ - You‘d still reply the same way?

Either people aren‘t really thinking this through, or we‘re all pretty big morons. I‘m inclined to believe it‘sthe former.

#3 Smoke a cigarette and think this

thing throughThink back for a moment. Seriously. Get a cup of tea,coffee, a cigarette, a joint, your crack pipe, whatever.

In recent memory, what were the mostenjoyable experiences of your life? I happen to keep track of them on my iPod in a file

called ―Simple Pleasures.‖ Some are similar, some vary wildly, for example:

Sitting on the porch in the evening with a glass of red wine, classical music playing (right now I‘mloving Ludovico Einaudi), thinking about life orphilosophizing

Real, genuine, talks about life with other people Driving in perfect weather with the windows

down listening to new music




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People watching in an airport, and feeling theanticipation of my next journey

Learning a new skill: a language, brewing theperfect cup of tea, salsa, etc.

Simple travel, like my trip through the SaharaDesert

Now, I may be totally unique in my list of simplepleasures. That’s fine. Maybe your simple pleasuresactually involve looking at your Ferrari while drinkingthe red wine, for example.

However, Question #1 What would you actually do with that money? If youcould do anything in the world, where would you go and what would you do?How long would you stay?

Ask yourself if you‘d look back on it in a year with fond

memories. Are you investing in

―stuff‖ or skills,experiences, and intangible high-value memories? Are they things to talk about or things to brag about? For some more ideas, check out my pseudo-bucket list.

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1. I‘m sure you‘ll quickly realize that you don’tactually need $1,000,000 dollars for yourdreams.

2. Next time you or your friend jokes about it, think about how you‘d actually spend it.

3. If you don‘t know what you‘d do with it, your 1 millionand your dreams are worthless.

4. Money is fine, sports cars are fine, trophy wives arefine, fancy clothes are fine. Just don‘t let them be your singular goal. Think of them as ―positiverepercussions‖ of an inherently enjoyable lif e

5. Write down and invest in concrete dreams, they arecloser than you think .

People who don‘t know what they wantrarely get what they want.

Rocket science, right?

The Generation of Dreamers is Dead


―The boy didn‘t know what a person‘s ―destiny‖ was. It‘swhat you have always wanted to accomplish.

Everyone, when they are young, knows what their

destiny is. At that point in their lives, everything is





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clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid todream, and to yearn for everything they would like tosee happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, amysterious force begins to convince them that it will be

impossible for them to realize their destiny.‖ – The Alchemist

The Boy in Search of Wonders

I think it is more than just coincidence that The Alchemist is one of the best-selling books of our time. Itaddresses a very fundamental question in life: that

nagging wondering of whether or not we have a purposeor specific mission.Think about it: little kids always ask parents ―why? why? why?‖ because they need answers that make sense to the world, and they need purpose for doing things just likeadults. We all need a reason. Eventually we get so fedup of trying to think through answers, we resort tothe ―Because I said so! Now eat your goddamn frosted flakes!‖

For those of you who haven‘t read the book, it‘sessentially about a boy who finds this dream, follows itthrough a bizarre set of circumstances and coincidences,is tested and suffers, but eventually is rewarded throughhis journey.

It describes the boy‘s dream as our individualfundamental purpose in life, without which very little is worthwhile.

The reason this book falls into my all-time favorite list is because it is directly in contrast to how I see most of thepeople I know living their lives: as drones buzzing from

task to task. This is the new lost generation.



A Generation of Lifeless Souls

We all fall into the category of ―lifeless soul‖ from time

to time. It happens. But the scary thing that I‘venoticed is that a huge percentage of the people of meet I would place in this category on any given day.These kinds of people are content with the consume,purchase, consume, purchase lifestyle which never seeksto go beyond basic needs.

In Maslow‘s hierarchy, qualities relating to self -actualization don‘t even begin to cross their mind.

Beyond that, these people tend to be notorious cynics,downers, are captivated by material things andpotentially have addictive personalities, and dreams arenothing but fantasies.

And in their defense they are being rational.Unsurprisingly, Maslow describes the percentage of thepopulation with self-actualizing tendencies to be that―top 1%‖.

But this is how everybody else lives life,

so it‘s okay, right?



Leaving aside the diseases of civilization for a moment, we can call this the psycho-spiritual disease of modernman.Discontent. Later we‘ll talk about the roots of discontent (they are myriad), but for now we‘ll talk about the tangible qualities of those who have clearambition, focus and dreams.Their personalities are different, their walk, talk andsmile is different, and the way they influence the spherearound them is much different.

The Carrier of Dreams

A brief intro to the character of someone who hasobvious dreams and ambition: They tend to be moreself-directed, internally motivated, tend to fall into theentrepreneurial (think: dreamer) mindset, inspire thosearound them, and above all — have a clear sense of direction.

Regardless of whether ornot they are actually currently on a straight road to theirdreams, they always have a goal in sight. Always working towards something tends to be a consistent traitof highly successful people.




Because it comes natural – people who know what they want become leaders and they immediately become that1% talked about in the About Me section.The rest are totally satisfied letting someone else do thehard work that requires vision, and simply want to betold what to do.

The Coffee Shop walk

The next time you walk somewhere with ―ordinary people‖ around, think about which category these people

would fall into, based on what you observe. Ask yourself if those people seem like they have thataura about them, the look in their eye, the emotion behind the smile, or see if they seem like they are goingthrough the motions, without any life shining from theireyes at all.

Tell me what you observe, and think about whichcategory you want to be a part of.

Some Last Food For Thought

I think the following quote is going to be ever moreimportant as time goes on. For my fellow lost 20somethings, and those who have visions of greatness in

their future, we need to make this our motto:―You‘ve got to find what you love. And that is as true foryour work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to

fill a large part of your life, and the only way to betruly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.

And the only way to do great work is to love what youdo. If you haven‘t found it yet, keep looking. Don‘t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you‘ll know

when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it

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just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keeplooking until you find it. Don‘t settle.‖

-Steve Jobs Don‘t Know What to do With Your Life? 25 Suggestions.


Graduating from college or beginning a new phase of lifeis a great opportunity to do whatever you want.

Which is why it puzzles me that so many people

say: ―What should I do with my life?‖ The answer: Are you serious? Anything andeverything.If nothing comes to mind, here are 25 suggestions that‘llhopefully get the gears going:

1. Go Sky Diving

I have no idea why sky diving is one of those thingsthat‘s on everyone‘s bucket list, but it‘s pretty fun. Youshould do it.

2. Start a Company Being your own boss is the shit. You get to make thecalls, the hours and the plans. Yeah there‘s a lot morehard work involved, and yeah the potential for failure is

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higher than a cubicle job but…. you can do whatever you want. Nuff said.

3. Move to Another Country

I wrote plenty on the benefits of moving abroad. 4. Teach EnglishIf you honestly are just bored, want a change of scenery,$25/hour with no credentials other than being a nativeEnglish speaker (+ bonus points if you‘re white and fitthe stereotype), good locations to travel to neighboringcountries, and major conversation starters when you re-

enter the homeland, then teaching English may be asweet gig for you.

5. Start a blog or websiteIf you‘re really savvy you can make some pretty sweetpocket change off your site. If you aren‘t, you can just write a generic blog where you bitch about life or gossipabout your sexual escapades.

6. NothingIf you‘re one of those high-strung wall street types,doing nothing for a short period of time [key words: short period of time] may be your greatestally for just toning down life and keeping it simple.

7. Get a new hobby (Girlfriend,Motorcycle, Pet)









Change the scenery a little. Dress up like a medieval

nerd and battle others tothe death (SCA), get a motorcycle (if you get ====> thatone on the side call me), or get a new pet.

Pets / Girlfriends include, but are not limitedto: Cockapoos (for the most ridiculous dog name ever),hissing cockroaches, and pangolins. The last one being a badass modern dinosaur that would look awesome on aleash.

8. Dump your boyfriend or girlfriendCome on people, we‘re trying to change the scenery here.

9. Become a creepy regular at a cafe andphilosophize about life We all become creepsters at some point or another. Sitin the corner of a Starbucks or local indie cafe, bring a bunch of different drawing utensils and constantly draw

charts, diagrams, and write in cryptic elven languages tomake others in the vicinity wonder what you‘re up to.

10. Start a RevolutionThere are plenty of ways to do this. But the best way isto pick a dream that would be badass if it came real,and then do it. And then spread the word. Need help? Ask.

11. Slow. Down. Now.

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http://www.sca.org/

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I‘ve already linked to their website before, but I‘ll do soagain. It‘s really important in this modern world of super over-achievers, ultra-competitiveness and greenerlawn competitions to take it easy.

12. Get a jobOh no. I didn‘t just say that. But for some people who just moved back home, have no money, and no dreams,there aren‘t exactly many other options — except for whoring yourself out on the street corner (paid my way through college), or selling organs (on my to-do list).

13. Quit your job and start doingsomething conversation worthy Went out to a party and told people you‘re an actuary?Hate to break it to you, but 96% of people tuned you outright after you finished that sentence.

There‘s nothing wrong with doing a job you like that

pays well, even if others perceive it as boring. However,if you make your own life interesting to yourself, it‘llprobably also be interesting to others.

14. Get a totally ridiculous job just forshits and gigglesEarthworm breeder? Elephant suppository administrator? Exotic dancer? Dude, at least they stimulate conversation.

15. Volunteer somewhere exoticI‘ll link you over to my buddies at idealist.org. Lots of great opportunities to do random stuff (paid andunpaid) all over the place.

16. Read Thoreau

http://slowdownnow.org/





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This one belongs on my simple pleasure list. Thoreau isdefinitely one of the masters of simple living.Read Walden, and you may just reconsider how youshould be living your life.

17. Get rid of 80% of the things you own Yeah that means clothes you wear once a month, or passover, or put at the bottom of your fresh clothes pile every time.

Shoes you‘ve worn twice.

Books you haven‘t read in three years but promised yourself you‘ll read again.

Anything and everything in your closet, basement, orunder your bed that you ―think‖ you‘ll use later. If youhaven‘t used it in a year, it‘s just taking up space andmaking your life complicated.

18. Put on good music and aimlessly godriving for hours.One of my favorite pleasures modern man gets to enjoy.Find a nice country road, put on the music, and justgo. Explore.

19. Travel. Somewhere cool. Not

France or Spain. [ Nothing Personal ]Just burn some of your life savings on a sweet trip tocannibalistic Papua New Guinea, drug lord infestedMexico, or kidnap-central Brazil. Have something toshow for your travels (like a missing ear sent back to your mom) instead of just pictures. Avoid France and Spain so you can avoid 99% of the

study abroad students.

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20. Read the Alchemist It‘s my favorite book, you‘ll know why. It‘s by PauloCoelho.

21. Write a list of all the stuff you wantto do before you die You‘ve got the time for a bucket list, so why not?

22. Write a list of all the shittiest jobs you‘ve had, as well as the best jobs you‘ve had Do your best to avoid the first half. That‘s a real souleater.

23. Promise yourself you‘ll do your bestto fulfill #22Seriously. Most of us spend so much time working that if it‘s a terrible job it puts a damper on the entire day.

24. Go on an adventureEvery month Milk the Pigeon posts some adventuresuggestions.

25. Read the Holstee ManifestoI love it. You should too, otherwise we can‘t be friends. You can find it here. Realistically you have all the options in the world, butmost people only come up with excuses for not doingawesome conversation-worthy stuff.








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Bonus: Tired of Living a Shitty Mediocre Life? Read this: Getting Un-Lost and Re-writing History

Living the Epic Story You Were Bornto Live

―Travel often; Getting lost will help you find yourself.‖ -The Holstee Manifesto

Let‘s face it, most of us are lost. The percentage of people that appear to be lost in life decreases as you goup in age. But the reality is that most of us are lost — it‘s just the 20 somethings that aren‘t afraid to admit it. The thing about being lost is most of us assume it‘ssomething negative: we associate it with the college grad who can‘t find a job, returns home, and ends up playing video games all day, watching How I Met Your

Mother, and ordering Domino‘s every night.

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But the reality is that being lost just means you can‘tfind the path – at the present moment.From the manifesto, Killing Your Old Life and Livingthe Dream,: However, here‘s the catch and something I want you toremember: that floating in space, kinda lost feeling isan incredible gift. It is the gift of opportunity — Don‘t mistake it foranything else.―What do you want to do with your life?‖ does not mean, ―what corporate job do you want to do for your

entire life?‖ ―What do you want to do with your life?‖ means,― What do you want to do with your life?”

————————-

The Illusion of Being Unlost

One of your most valuable assets as a temporarily lost

person is lying. Yes, lying.

Lie to others, and lie to yourself.

Because it‘s not that we respect people who aren‘t lost – we respect people who don’t appear lost.

————————–

Become Un-Lost

There is one principle that underlies all efforts at becoming un-lost. Change.There are a million and one reasons why a person findsthemselves lost, or feels lost, and a million and one

solutions. But let me propose one theory:

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You‘re lost because you‘ ve been doing something thesame way, which used to work, but it no longer makes you feel the way it used to.

The reason why you feel lost even though you have a joband a place to live is the same reason why marriedcouples were once in love, and a few years in, wonder if marriage is all it‘s chalked up to be.

Lack of change (specifically, progress) is theunderlying, superficial reason behind why we get

lost.The deeper reason is because we feel like things become pointless, meaningless, and we have no story. Thus there are two required components of

becoming un-lost. Curing the superficial: introducing change.

Curing the profound: finding your story.

————————-

Curing the Superficial

Become an Irresponsible Adventurer

―Well-behaved women seldom make history.‖ —Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I was walking my dog on a cold winter night inDecember a couple years back. It was about 15 degreesF, the night was perfect, the stars were shining bright. Winter always has the best stars, and the best and brightest stars always put me in a pensive mood.









I thought about what made some stories and lives boring, while others were interesting. I thought aboutthe best years of my life and the worst years of my life,and I realized a trend.

Boring years were predictable and easily repeatable.

Awesome years were unpredictable and were not easily replicated.

Not rocket science right?

Back in college we used to go on little adventures for the weekend — exploring here or there, finding coolcamping spots and then making ghetto treasure maps soour friends could find the same places.

A few years later I made more random ―irresponsible‖decisions that turned out to be the best decisions in my

life – quitting numerous jobs, moving across the world ,and other ridiculous micro adventures. And I realized something.

We all need to be a little be more―irresponsible‖ in the eyes of society, and moreadventurous. Become an irresponsible adventurer by

going on Microadventures: An adventure that is close to home, cheap, simple,short, and yet very effective. You do not need to fly to the other side of the planet todo an expedition. You do not need to be an elite athlete, expertly trained,or rich to have an adventure.

Adventure is only a state of mind.






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Adventure is stretching yourself ; mentally, physically or culturally. It is about doing what you donot normally do, pushing yourself hard and doing it tothe best of your ability. And if that is true then adventure is all around us, at all times. Even during hard financial times such as these.Times, I believe, when getting out into the wild aremore enjoyable, invigorating and important than ever. Alastair Humphreys talks a lot about Microadventures— an idea he had for breaking up routine and really sucking the marrow from life.

‖We always talk about the nine-to-five life, the officelife. What about your five-to-nine? That‘s 16 hours aday. I decided to do something in those hours.‖ Adventures are all about change — and fortunately, notthe destination. That means you don‘t need to climb Mt.Everest or go bouncing on the moon to have anadventure — you just need to do something out

of your ordinary.Cure the superficial, encourage change, and

become an irresponsible adventurer.

Curing the Profound

Find Your Story

The second reason why we get lost is a biggie, and is alonger process to solve than simply being anirresponsible adventurer.

You’re lost because you don’t have a story. There‘s a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years about an author who is being interviewed to

make a movie about his life.



And he realizes his life is boring. There is almost nothing worth talking about — the exact opposite of living aconversation-worthy life. So Miller decides to figure out w hat makes a good story. He compares writing a good story, or watching agood movie, to living a life that is worth living.You can‘t go on without a story any longer than youcan read a book about nothing… If you aren‘t telling a good story, nobody thinks youdied too soon; they just think you died. The problem with not having a story is that even if you

experience a lot – travel, learn, try new things – youaren‘t providing a context for all the experiences tooccur in.The experiences just become noise, they are random,chaotic, and although enjoyable, they don‘t cometogether and provide any coherent feeling of ―purpose.‖

Creating an Epic Story – A Character Who Wants Something

―A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. A character who wantssomething…‖ The first part of an epic story? A character has to

want something. This ―want‖ is the context for allfurther experiences – instead of traveling, it‘s visitingevery country in the world to raise awareness forinternational peace keeping efforts.Instead of going to the gym, it‘s to lose those 50 poundsand not end up like both your parents that died youngfrom heart disease.

Rather than making a million dollars a year in revenue,

it‘s about creating your own legacy – building somethingthat is beautiful, will exist long after you are gone, and








will be remembered far longer than your name will be — and then making a million dollars.

A story provides a context for all experiences. Almost all great characters and great stories areilluminated by one clear thing: clear ambition.

The boy in the Alchemist is looking to fulfill and live hispersonal legend. Beowulf is looking to kill Grendel. Allgreat stories have a character with a clear purpose.

———- What is the point of your story? ———-

The Possibility of Failure―I knew if we were going to tell a good story, it would have to involve risk… the same elements that make amovie meaningful are the ones that make a lifemeaningful. I knew a character had to face his greatest fears.‖ The whole idea of the story is that it cannot be easily

accomplished. If it is easily accomplished, it is by default not worth striving for, not special, not worthreading about.If it‘s easy, it‘s predictably attainable. That is not how anepic story goes. Nor is it how your story is going to go.

No, it‘s going to be goddamn difficult. You‘re going tohave to talk yourself off that ledge every week,

sometimes every day, but you‘re going to keep going.

Because what makes the story great is the struggle – thequestion as to whether or not the person will succeed.

―It wasn‘t necessary to win for the story to be great; it was only necessary to sacrifice everything‖



The story is about the character transformation. Yourstory is about how your character is forged throughdifficulty.

Picking easy, predictable tasks you can succeed at easily,or can predict the outcome, is not the making of a story others will want to read.

Just imagine if the story went like this: ―He got a job,then stayed at his job, and stayed at his job some more,got a promotion after 5 years, and then stayed at his

job, and continued working…‖ There is no risk. It is completely predictable. That‘s nothow you write your story.

In the Alchemist, the boy is constantly gettingsidetracked — he gets stuck in north Africa, he runs outof money, and is forced to work at a Crystal merchant‘sstore for years.

He thinks he has failed, and temporarily, he has. His journey has numerous such setbacks, but how come hedoesn‘t give up? Because his failures are all in thecontext of a larger story.He still has a story to write.

———- Whatever you are shooting for — whatever story

you are writing — cannot , by default, be easy. It mustrequire difficulty, it must require pain, and it must

require struggle. Ask yourself if what you‘re doing now has a guaranteed outcome, or if it makes you nervous

with the possibility of failure. ———- You want the latter.



An Epic Story Sucks While It is Being ActedOut

―It would be easier not to try, not to get out of bed. I wish I could tell you I woke every morning and jumped into the thrill a character might feel inside a page-turner, but I don‘t; I wake every day and plod throughthe next page of my story, both in words and inactions.The reward you get from a story is always less thanyou thought it would be, and the work is harder than

you imagined. The point of a story is never about theending, remember. It‘s about your character gettingmolded in the hard work.‖ The truth about living an epic story is clear: it alwayslooks more fun from the outside in.

It‘s thrilling to watch snowboarders jump hundreds of feet into the air doing backflips, or watch fight scenes in

the Bourne movies, or watch UFC and get pumped up.But anyone who has done anything epic realizes that when you‘re in the moment — it‘s terrifying. It makes you queazy, weak at the knees, it takes focus, and thereis the possibility of failure, injury or death.

And it‘s goddamn difficult.

But great gain takes great risk –

———- Remember the truth — living an epic story isinfinitely harder than writing an epic story. It will beharder, take longer, and the fruits you reap won‘t be as

great as you had anticipated. But it will be worth it.Make your story epic ———-



Living Life Intentionally

―People love to have lived a great story, but few peoplelike the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs

pain.‖ A story can happen on its own, or a person can choose tolive life deliberately.

If your family is kidnapped and you are the only survivor, and you spend your life looking to recover yourfamily — you have a story. And you didn‘t choose it.

If, however, your story is currently on the same page, year after year after year, it‘s time to start living lifeintentionally.

That means deliberately choosing to create and live yourstory.

―The great stories go to those who don‘t give in to fear… But fear isn‘t only a guide to keep us safe; it‘salso a manipulative emotion that can trick us intoliving a boring life‖ The easiest way to live life intentionally? Set hugegoals. I mean really unrealistically large goals- raise amillion dollars for a charity, climb the 10 largestmountains on earth even though you‘re blind, have your

kids write a bunch of world leaders asking if they wantto come over for dinner — and then do them. Shoot way bigger than you think is possible.

Pick a goal — say, run a 5k even though you‘re 100 lbsoverweight — and thenmultiply it in difficulty x10. Choose to run an ultra marathon in the future.That is creating an epic life story .



And creating your story is as much about what you doas well as who you do it with:―If your friends are living boring stories, you probablywill too.‖

————————-

It‘s time to wake up and tell yourself you‘re going to write your own story. What‘s it going to be like?

―Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic: It‘s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people in

the world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for mediocre. Thelevel of competition is thus fiercest for ‗realistic‘ goals, paradoxically making them the most time and energyconsuming. It‘s easier to raise $1,000,000 than it is $100,000. It iseasier to pick up the one perfect 10 in the bar than the five 8s. If you are insecure, guess what — the rest of the

world is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.‖

-Tim Ferriss

Becoming un-lost means curing thesuperficial: introducing adventure into life,

and curing the profound: finding yourstory.

Your life is a story — is it worthreading?

What To Do When Your Life Feels Meaningless


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I was a really annoying kid to talk to when I was younger.

I was always asking ―God questions,‖ almost alwaysrevolving around the word ―why.‖

Why am I here.. what am I supposed to do.. whereshould I go next.. why do I have to do this..

And it pissed people off, I mean, for chrissakes

sometimes you just do stuff and don‘t question it, right?

Just go to work and eat bitter and suck it up. Just use 2 cups flour and 3 eggs in the cake andstop thinking about it ―why‖ they are in the proportionsthat they are in.Just learn this material and stop asking why you‘llneed to know all of this to be a doctor.



After I got out of the juvenile phase of life (where every ―why‖ you ask gets a ―because I said so‖ in return), Ientered a new phase of life.

More people asking why. Why am I here.. what do Ineed to do for the rest of my life..

And I thought: hmm that’s funny. First as a kid, now as an ―adult.‖ Everyone is still asking why. And mostpeople are still giving themselves ―because I said so‖answers.

So once again I started asking myself WTF shouldI do with my life? What can I do with my life? Whatam I supposed to do with my life? And, mostimportantly, WTF do I want to do during my life? Whatmakes it feel worthwhile?

Finding a Reason to Live

Survivors of all types of accidents or horrendous livingconditions often share eerily similar stories. Despite theharshness of the current reality, against all odds, they maintain some special sort of reason for going on (Seethe Stockdale Paradox) They maintain a ―why‖ beyond just ―staying alive‖ thatkeeps them going. They found some greater purpose.

Viktor Frankl was one such person. He was a victim of the Nazi regime and spent several years in the Auschwitzconcentration camp while his entire family and bothparents passed away. As his body was slowly whittlingaway and as thousands of people died around him he was deeply pondering the state of his life.

His mémoire, Man‘s Search for Meaning, is interestingto me for one main reason: because one can watch his

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mind deliberate as it searches for a meaning in all thedeath, suffering, and apparent meaninglessness that wasgoing on around him.Frankl‘s conclusion?

― Life is not primarily a quest for pleasure, as Freud believed, or a quest for power, as Alfred Adlertaught, but a quest for meaning. The greatest task for any person is to find meaning in his or her ownlife.‖ The words hit an eerie nerve in me, after all — I know

plenty of people my age making a lot of money, whooutwardly appear happy, but inwardly they feel like what they are doing is pretty pointless.

So they just go ahead and do what other people aredoing, to have some semblance of a sane, ordinary,normal and supposedly *happy* existence.

I ended up thinking about this more: the deepest human value, one that you can selectively pursue and cultivateto enrich your life, is it really happiness?

Or is happiness a consequence of doing things right?

―For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect

of one‘s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or asthe by- product of one‘s surrender to a person otherthan oneself. Happiness must happen, and the sameholds for success — success will follow you precisely

because you had forgotten to think of it.‖



Searching for the wrong thing

I think there‘s one particular reason why many of us feel

completely lost. It‘s because we‘re searching for the wrong thing.Many early philosophers believed that our primary motivation in life was personal pleasure or happiness — that‘s just what we strive for and that‘s just what ourpurpose is. I mean, it makes sense:

What‘s the most important thing according to your body, your ego? You, of course. Who do you look atfirst in a picture? Yourself.

We naturally shy from, say, putting our hand on acampfire (it hurts) and enjoy doing things like eatingcookies and having sex. They make us feel good.

We help people: it either makes them feel good(which makes us feel good) or it directly makes us feel

good.There‘s a good argument for straight up pleasure /happiness / joy being the sole purpose of life.

But what if pleasure / enjoyment/ happiness were justunintended byproducts. What if they were just positiveconsequences of doing the right thing and instead there was something you could deliberately cultivate?

There‘s a better explanation for why we‘re lost and why all of us constantly strive to find happiness at somepoint or another.

Happiness and Success as Un-Intended Side Effects

Ready for this?



The cure for being lost and feeling like your life ismeaningless is not to re-find happiness.

The way to become unlost, happy, and successful isfound all in one thing: purpose. Through purpose you find passion, you findhappiness, you find drive, you find meaning inan apparently meaningless existence. These all blossom as perfect byproducts. And by purpose I don‘t necessarily mean ―your oneultimate purpose.‖ Purpose, like happiness, isn‘t static.

It‘s not just ―Oh I‘ve always wanted to be an Astronautsince I was young!‖

For some parents, raising their kids and being a goodparent is their only purpose — but once their kids moveout and grow up they suddenly find their lives feelingmore meaningless.

College kids that graduate university are accustomed tohaving a purpose: pass this class, semester aftersemester after semester, and finally: graduate. Oncethey graduate? Many lose their sense of purpose.

Normal every day people sometimes find purpose inothers — a loved one for example — and once thatperson leaves their life they are crushed and fall into an

existence that feels meaningless again.

Purpose, therefore, can be fleeting too.

But purpose – no matter how temporary – is soimportant because it makes you feel like what youare doing in your life actually matters.



And purpose is the ultimate fix for no longer feeling lost,no longer feeling like you‘re in a dream or an observer of your own life.

It makes you feel in control.

Purpose in the Modern World

―… that feeling of which so many [people] complaintoday, namely, the feeling of the total and

ultimate meaninglessness of their lives. They

lack the awareness of a meaning worth living for. Theyare haunted by the experienced of their inneremptiness, a void within themselves; In addition to this,however, man has suffered another loss… No instinct

tells him what he has to do, and no traditiontells him what he ought to do; sometimes he doesnot even know what he wishes to do. Instead, he eitherwishes to do what other people do (conformism) or he

does what other people wish him to do(totalitarianism).‖

The feeling of meaningless is one of those scary naggingfeelings we all get at some points in our lives. We wonder if there is some grand scheme out there for oursuffering, or why after working for a couple years in a job that‘s ―alright‖ it doesn‘t feel like it has a pointanymore.

It‘s because both happiness and success are closely tiedto purpose.

It‘s the reason why when you talk to so many 20somethings that are in their first, or second, or fifthprofessional job, these days they‘re like ―It‘s alright, It‘sa job.‖



Oh, really? They have to convince themselves that what they aredoing has meaning.

A pretty sad thought if you ask me.

Going Big or Going Home

Alright, so your life feels pointless. Either you‘re totally lost, or you have everything but it doesn‘t seem to makea difference.

You‘re getting paid, you have a good apartment, youhave a car. Now what?

There are 4 ways to get a life that doesn’t suck and destroy the feeling of meaninglessness.1. Figure out your story 2. Figure out what the hell you want and make a plan

3. Determine your ―why‖ 4. Engage in flow producing activities

#1 What’s Your Story? ‖ You can‘t go on without a story any longer than you

can read a book about nothing… ― A while back I wrote one of the single most importantposts for lost people who feel their lives are meaningless.

It‘s called Getting Un-Lost and Re-Writing History andthe big question it asks you is this:

What kind of story are you living? What kind of story do you want to be living? The problem with not having a story is that even if youexperience a lot – travel, learn, try new things – youaren‘t providing a context for all the experiences to

occur in.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/01/04/getting-un-lost-and-rewriting-history/





The experiences just become noise, they are random,chaotic, and although enjoyable, they don‘t cometogether and provide any coherent feeling of ―purpose.‖

They aren‘t part of a larger storyline.

If you don‘t currently have a story there are 4 qualitiesinherent in any epic tale:

1. A character who wants something,2. Has the potential for failure failure,

3. Struggles,4. But does whatever it takes to realize the story and seeit through

Without a fundamental underlying story, experiences,no matter how enjoyable or epic become noise. Thestory is the lifeline, the backbone, the thread thatconnects all experience and makes them worthwhile.

Read: A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

#2 What the hell are you aiming for?

―I find it fascinating that most people plan theirvacations with better care than they plan their lives.

Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change.‖ -Jim Rohn

People seem to be goal averse. Maybe it‘s becausesetting goals sets you up for disappointment (Oh, Ididn‘t lose 30 pounds like I said I would in my New Year‘s resolution).

Or maybe it‘s because people are lazy.

http://www.amazon.com/Million-Miles-Thousand-Years-Learned/dp/1400202981/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331067694&sr=8-1






Or maybe it‘s because people don‘t know what they wantor haven‘t thought about what they want.

But there is one big reason why you should set goals – even arbitrary goals like running a marathon – andthat‘s because they give life structure. At the basic, most fundamental level, the easiest way toturn a meaningless life into a meaningful one is to set arandom goal and go for it.

The more facets your goal has, the better.

E.g. Building a business you care about is superior tolearning a language (from a purpose standpoint) because it will take longer and has so many facets youcan improve upon.

Really dunno what to do? Learn Spanish (Better? Move to Spain and learn

Spanish.)

Set arbitrary fitness goals: gain 20 pounds of muscle,lose 20 pounds of fat.

Make a bucket list of awesome things you want to do. Doone every week/month/6 months/year.

Remember these goals are random, superficial, andprovide a temporary sense of purpose. They are,however, better than nothing and are an easy step intofeeling like life is worthwhile.Read: The manifesto and check out the section ―Why You Can Never Get What You Want Unless..‖ On page28.











#3 What‘s your why?

―Those who have a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

-Nietzche

We already talked about the importance of having astory — a context for all the experiences that your life ismade up of.

But there‘s one other quality inherent in a meaningfullife: why are you doing what you’re doing? Why are you doing the work you do? For money? Or forsome reason that provides real internal sustenance?

Why are you going to the gym? Is it to look good for yourgirlfriend/boyfriend/ or is it because you deep down want to do it for yourself?

Some people are more easily influenced by the ―why‖than others. For example, some people can really defertheir happiness and job satisfaction just working formoney.

Others get severely depressed after a short time.

Similarly, some people can legitimately go to the gym

and transform their bodies for another person — a guy who loses 50 pounds because his girlfriend isthreatening to break up with him, for example.

Other people quit soon after because they realize whatthey are doing is not for themselves.

So when I ask ―what is your why?‖: why learn a new

skill, why start a business, why run a marathon — ―just



because‖ is a fine answer in the short term, but to power you long-term the ―why‖ will need to be something thatdeeply connects with a core value in your life.

Honestly think about the following two options and tellme which one you resonate with more: 1. Starting a business so you can make much more

money than you currently are.2. Starting a business because you‘re tired of

meaningless work, working for someone you dislike, working with people who dislike what they do, having

your hours and schedule pre-arranged, etc. What is the real, emotional, deep seated reasonfor doing what you’re doing?

Read: Start with Why by Simon Sinek

#4 Engage in flow producing activities Yes yes, by now you should know Doc. C is one of themain influencers of everything I do in my life.This fourth way to avoid a meaningless life is aparadoxical one — it‘s less easily sought out than theother 3. In a nutshell, you are looking for an experience- flow, to be specific.

Being in flow is that magical moment when you do anunbelievably perfect shot during a soccer game — timefreezes, the stars align, and you describe it as feeling―perfect.‖ Being in flow is the artist‘s muse – the concept of timeevaporates, goals and structure don‘t exist, only enjoyment and pure engagement in the current activity exists.

http://www.amazon.com/Start-Why-Leaders-Inspire-Everyone/dp/1591846447/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331067571&sr=8-1



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mihaly_Csikszentmihalyi







Flow is the state where most of us are happiest, where we feel in our element, where we feel challenged and asif our tasks and time are worthwhile.I really could spend all day talking about flow as one of the singular most important concepts to learn about, butinstead i‘ll redirect to you several of the posts I‘ve written on the topic.1. Making Greatness Part 2 (Discusses Flow in Depth) 2. If Your Work Sucks, Learn About Flow So in a nutshell, why seek out flow producingactivities? They are inherently enjoyable, inherently

feel meaningful, and are self-described as some of themost powerful transcendent moments of life.Read: Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience

Finding meaning in the 21st century

Distractions & diversions – that‘s pretty much how I‘d sum up the era we live in.

Literal, physical distractions like TV and the Internet, as well as psychological distractions like the preoccupation with money or success.

Killing distractions is but one small part of living ameaningful life — there are so many facets likemeaningful work, quality relationships, and higher

purpose.

But for starters, as things you can start today, the above4 points: Your story, your goals, your why, andflow producing activities can easily take ameaningless life and turn it into a worthwhile existence,arguably the most important thing of all.

―What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life ingeneral but rather the specific meaning of a person‘s






http://www.amazon.com/Flow-Psychology-Experience-Mihaly-Csikszentmihalyi/dp/0061339202/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1331067731&sr=1-1








life at a given moment. To put the question in general terms would be comparable to the question posed to a

chess champion: ―Tell me, Master, what is the best move in the world?‖ There simply is no such thing asthe best or even a good move apart from a particularsituation in a game and the particular personality of

one‘s opponent. The same holds for humanexistence. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific

vocation or mission in life to carry out aconcrete assignment which demands

fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated.” -Viktor Frankl, Man‘s Search for Meaning

Is this all there is? – What to do when your life feelsmeaningless – Part 2


**** This is a continuation of “What to do whenyour life feels meaningless” Go here to read

part 1 *****

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All of us, at some point in our lives, ask ourselves ―Is this all there is?‖ My grand plan, my grand purpose, my work and my time… everything that I‘ve worked for culminates in..this? The life I‘m currently living?

Shortly after we proceed to feel like we‘ve be really shafted by someone or something, that we‘re victims of fate and that we can‘t believe we bought into some greatcosmic lie.

And then we self-medicate. Most of us dull the pain of our shitty, seemingly meaningless existence by doing one of three thingsaccording to the Flow master, Dr. C:#1 ― As this realization slowly sets in, different peoplereact to it differently. Some try to ignore it, and renew their efforts to acquire more of thethings that were supposed to make life good —

bigger cars and homes, more power on the job,a more glamourous life-style. They renew theirefforts, determined still to achieve the satisfaction that up until then has eluded them. Sometimes this solutionworks, simply because one is so drawn into thecompetitive struggle that there is no time to realize that the goal has not come any nearer. But if a person doesnot take the time out to reflect, the disillusionment returns: after each success it becomes clearer that money, power, status and possessions do not, bythemselves, necessarily add one iota to the quality of life.‖ #2 Others decide to attack directly the threateningsymptoms. If it is a body going to seed that rings the first alarm, they will go on diets, join health clubs,

do aerobics, buy a Nautilus, or undergo plasticsurgery. If the problem seems to be that nobody pays



much attention, they buy books about how to get power and how to make friends, or they enroll inassertiveness training courses and have power lunches. After a while, however, it becomes obvious that these piecemeal solutions don‘t work either.‖ #3 ―Daunted by the futility of trying to keep up with all the demands they cannot possibly meet , some will

just surrender and retire gracefully intorelative oblivion. Following Candide’s advice,they will give up on the world and cultivatetheir little gardens. They might dabble in genteel

forms of escape such as developing a harmless hobbyor accumulating a collection of abstract paintings or porcelain figurines. Or they might lose themselvesin alcohol or the dreamworld of drugs. Whileexotic pleasures and expensive recreations temporarilytake the mind off the basic question ―is this all there is?‖ few claim to ever have found an answer that way.‖

Three superficial coping strategiesSo some of us #1 go deeper into the purchase-consumecycle. We try to chase more flashy cars and pretty girls. We chase money. We buy stuff. We work our way up theladder to earn more. We keep our mind occupied that way.Some of us #2 attack symptoms to keep busy. If it‘s our

health that first gets our attention, we become fitnessfanatics. If it‘s our work that‘s miserable or we don‘thave enough mone y, we become workaholics. If it‘sdissatisfaction in our dating lives we bounce aroundfrom person to person.

#3 is retreat. Some of us get tired of the struggle anddon‘t see any clear way out. We retreat. Know a friend who plays world of warcraft / madden all day or who









smokes weed all day? Retreat. They‘ve given up onchanging their circumstances.

It‘s an easy temporary fix, a pill for the symptoms. Butlike all pills they only work for so long unless theunderlying conditions are addressed.

Which story are you living?

Some of us truck ahead, attack symptoms, or give up.

For me it was a blend of #1 and #3 — which I think arethe most common. Tell me how familiar this story sounds:

So you get your first job out of college. Get your place.Maybe get your new car.

…Then what?

Assuming you don‘t go back to school or get married, you probably get into ―WTF‖ mode.

WTF do I do now? For me, I ended up just doing whateveryone else did: I started partying more (Since, gee, Ihad to use the money I earned, right!) , buy tons of shit Ididn‘t need, and focused on increasing my earning

potential.

Friends reached the same point and started doing drugsagain.

Other friends again reached the existential crisis pointand started playing video game after video game. Lifefor them went like this: Video game ==> work ==> video game ==> sleep or this: drugs ==> work ==>



drugs ==> sleep ==> drugs ==> work etc. They‘re bothpretty much the same.

The problem is that most of us never get out of the cycle.Most of us exist in this sort of ―existing‖ phase where weare merely coping and reacting to everything happeningaround us. Rarely do we escape the cycle and find theopportunity to truly thrive.

Planning your prison escape route

―Happiness, in fact, is a condition that must be prepared for, cultivated, and defended privately byeach person. People who to learn to control inner

experience will be able to determine the quality of theirlives, which is as close as any of us can come to being

happy.‖ - Flow

Sack up and do something about it. (Balls,

metaphorical or otherwise,may be all thatmatters. Remember?). Here‘s how not to suck like your friends around you. Here‘s how not to buy into the lie and illusionsociety has crafted for us. And here‘s how to begincrafting your escape.#1 Realize that you’re coping with existence(existing) and not actually improving it

(thriving) You have to consciously sit down and realize ―you don‘thave to do mind-numbingly boring, soul-crushingly shitty work.‖

You have to consciously sit down and realizethat wasting your leisure time is shooting

yourself in the foot. That your leisure time is the time






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when you can (and should) be digging your escaperoute. You have to consciously sit down and realize that afterthe getting smashed on Friday night, you wake upexactly where you started the day before. That‘s fine.Unless of course you don‘t want to be where you werethe day before.

You have to consciously sit down and ask yourself what the hell you actually want from life, and if what you’re doing now is getting y ou any closer

to what you want. That goes for your job, for your work, for your romantic partners, for your friends, andanything else.#2 Decide to go balls to the wall digging yourescape route Complacency will screw you. Comfort will screw you. Your friends will screw you.

Sit down and figure out what about your current lifestylemakes you feel so discontent.

Is it monotony and routine?

Maybe you just got back from traveling and are havingan impossible time settling down back into ―ordinary‖life.

Maybe you‘re like a lot of 20 somethings bouncingaround in jobs because you‘re chronically stuck in shitty ones.

Maybe your friend group sucks (or doesn‘t exist because you moved after college).

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Whatever it is, whatever is making you drink yourself retarded on Friday, or retreat into video games anddrugs, or continue to chase the flashy cars and pretty girls but stay depressed the next day, figure out whatthe hell it is that is getting to you. Read the manifesto and figure out what youdon’t want, what you want, what the ―why‖ isthat you live for, and what you’ve really wantedto do with your short time.

Anything is better than not knowing―you’re stuck‖ It may seem overly simplistic and too vague. The adviceto ―think about what you actually want‖ given to people who are stuck in the rat race (or life) in some way oranother.

But the truth is that the vast majority of us live in adreamworld carefully sculpted by others with no

intention of us to ever realize we‘re dreaming.

The true is that most of us will pass year after year justas deep into the cycle in which we were born, and neverrealize it.

And the truth is that only by becoming *aware* that youare stuck can you become unstuck.

Most of us have given up and don‘t evenrealize it

Right? Look around you. How many of your friends are just sitting and occupying their piece of land. Paying300, 500, 1000, or 10,000 a month to rent a place justso they can exist. And they work jobs they suffer through






just to pay for that rent, which is just to exist on a pieceof land.

Years literally pass and nothing has changed. They haven‘t learned anything new, they haven‘t traveledmuch or added any value to their life, they haven‘tchanged anything about their circumstances or lifeexperiences.

Maybe they got a promotion or two. And maybe they gottheir first vacation and finally saw Europe. Whelp, time

to wait another couple years to do that.

The hell? Does nobody see how utterly insaneand mindless this lifestyle is? Does nobody realize the insanity of paying just to existon a plot of earth, or working a job just to pay to exist aplot on the earth just for the sake of existing?

I realize the circumstances change for people who aremarried or with kids. This is not for you.

For the rest of you (us) — if working your job just so youcan have an apartment is so that you can be declared a―financially independent adult‖ so be it.

For those of you who couldn‘t give two shits about

having an apartment and working 50 hours a week topay for it with your 2 week trip to Thailand every 2 years, wake up and start doing what you‘ve always wanted to do.

Just in travel expenses alone, ditching a $500 or $1000a month apartment gives you enough to buy a ticket

basically anywhere in the world.



Traveling the world is not as unrealistic as itseems. If what you’re current living is ―not what yousigned up for,‖ grow a pair and starting doing

what you’ve wanted to do the whole time. Most of us cope and try and drink away the symptoms of the ―is this all there is?‖ feeling. But when you think about it, do you really have a choice?

It‘s either now, or forever asking yourself ―is this allthere is? is this really the culmination of my

whole life. This?”

Do What You Love and You‘ll [Still] Work A [Lot of]Day[s] in Your Life.


Do What You Love and You‘ll [Still] Work A

[Lot of] day[s] in Your

Life.

Society is a funny thing. It‘s a conglomeration of people who are considered a ―society‖ because we share similarthoughts, preferences, and prejudices.

And society has two stereotypes that are interesting tome:




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#1. Working for money means you‘re a miserable,greedy, capitalist pig.

#2 If you do what you love you‘ll never work a day in your life.

For now, I‘m more interested in #2, because I find it alittle strange.

I‘m doing what I enjoy but I work a lot. In fact, I put inmore hours than I did at the jobs I used to hate. And

there are a lot of things I am not enjoying about theprocess.

Oh god, am I doing something wrong? Does my workonce again have no point to it? I realized that by jumping on the ―Working-on-shit-you-actually-enjoy‖ ship I had actually figured outsomething that some people haven‘t realized yet –

working for passion still entails work. A lot of it.Probably a lot more than your normal job.

―What? No! It cannot be!‖ Y ou‘re probably thinking. ― I thought it was blue skies and smooth sailing from hereon out!‖ Well, maybe you‘ll sleep better at night.

And sure you‘ll love what you do.

And yes, maybe you‘ll finally view your time as worthwhile and you‘ll love the process of work. But there is no such thing as something for nothing, andthere is no such thing as a building with a third floor but

without the first floor.








People who want to work for enjoyment seem to jump inall excited with visions (delusions) of grandeur – thinking that somehow it negates all the work, all theresearch, all the networking, all the successes and all thefailures.

It doesn‘t.

But that shouldn‘t deter you.

Don‘t let me discourage you, or doubt yourself, or keep

you stuck in a job you really dislike.

It just means you need to confront the cold hardfacts.

The Stockdale Paradox

In Good to Great , a book by Jim Collins, a guy named

Admiral James Stockdale is mentioned. He was aprisoner of war for 7 years in Vietnam who was torturedand brutalized for years (and survived). When heshared his secret to surviving he said the following:

You must never confuse faith that you will prevail inthe end — which you can never afford to lose — with the

discipline to confront the most brutal facts of yourcurrent reality, whatever they might be.‖

People will tell you what working for passion entails. Experience will tell a different story.You and I may be telling ourselves a third story.But at this point it‘s time for a reality check for myself,and for others who are looking to cut the chord onhaving a boss and make the leap to self-employment.

Don‘t make the jump if you aren‘t willing to work long

hours (longer than in your previous job).







Don‘t make the jump if you aren‘t willing to do things you don‘t like but need to do.

Don‘t make the jump if you aren‘t willing to self -micromanage or have the willpower stay in and do work instead of going out.

What are you getting at?

Working on what you enjoy is not a panacea.

People see success or highly skilled people and assumethat it was a cakewalk because they enjoyed what they were doing.Rarely does anyone enjoy every facet of their work, even work they create themselves.

Even extremely high achievers describe their solopractice as the ―most disliked part of their training,‖

even though the strongest link between highachievement and practice is hours spent alone in solo practice. Passion only solves a small, but important, part of theequation: making the process insanely enjoyable and worthwhile.Do what you love, sow your seeds, create your legacy,and change the world.

But never forget the cold hard facts:

Do What Y ou Love and You’ll [Still] Work A [Lotof] day[s] in Your Life.

Getting Un-Lost & Rewriting History





http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/11/11/drive-the-surprising-truth-behind-what-motivates-us/


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―Travel often; Getting lost will help you find yourself.‖ -The Holstee Manifesto

Let‘s face it, most of us are lost. The percentage of people that appear to be lost in life decreases as you go

up in age. But the reality is that most of us are lost — it‘s just the 20 somethings that aren‘t afraid to admit it. The thing about being lost is most of us assume it‘ssomething negative: we associate it with the college grad who can‘t find a job, returns home, and ends up playing video games all day, watching How I Met Your Mother, and ordering Domino‘s every night. But the reality is that being lost just means you can‘t

find the path – at the present moment.From the manifesto, Killing Your Old Life and Livingthe Dream,: However, here‘s the catch and something I want you toremember: that floating in space, kinda lost feeling isan incredible gift. It is the gift of opportunity — Don‘t mistake it foranything else.












―What do you want to do with your life?‖ does not mean, ―what corporate job do you want to do for yourentire life?‖ ―What do you want to do with your life?‖ means,― What do you want to do with your life?”

————————-

The Illusion of Being Unlost

One of your most valuable assets as a temporarily lostperson is lying.

Yes, lying.

Lie to others, and lie to yourself.

Because it‘s not that we respect people who aren‘t lost – we respect people who don’t appear lost.

————————–

Become Un-Lost

There is one principle that underlies all efforts at becoming un-lost. Change.There are a million and one reasons why a person findsthemselves lost, or feels lost, and a million and onesolutions. But let me propose one theory:

You‘re lost because you‘ve been doing something thesame way, which used to work, but it no longer makes you feel the way it used to.

The reason why you feel lost even though you have a joband a place to live is the same reason why marriedcouples were once in love, and a few years in, wonder if

marriage is all it‘s chalked up to be.



Lack of change (specifically, progress) is theunderlying, superficial reason behind why we getlost.The deeper reason is because we feel like things become pointless, meaningless, and we have no story. Thus there are two required components of

becoming un-lost. Curing the superficial: introducing change.

Curing the profound: finding your story.

————————-

Curing the Superficial

Become an Irresponsible Adventurer

―Well-behaved women seldom make history.‖ —Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

I was walking my dog on a cold winter night inDecember a couple years back. It was about 15 degreesF, the night was perfect, the stars were shining bright. Winter always has the best stars, and the best and brightest stars always put me in a pensive mood.

I thought about what made some stories and lives boring, while others were interesting. I thought aboutthe best years of my life and the worst years of my life,and I realized a trend.

Boring years were predictable and easily repeatable.

Awesome years were unpredictable and were not easily

replicated.









Not rocket science right?

Back in college we used to go on little adventures for the weekend — exploring here or there, finding coolcamping spots and then making ghetto treasure maps soour friends could find the same places.

A few years later I made more random ―irresponsible‖decisions that turned out to be the best decisions in my life – quitting numerous jobs, moving across the world ,and other ridiculous micro adventures.

And I realized something.

We all need to be a little be more―irresponsible‖ in the eyes of society, and moreadventurous. Become an irresponsible adventurer by going on Microadventures: An adventure that is close to home, cheap, simple,

short, and yet very effective. You do not need to fly to the other side of the planet todo an expedition. You do not need to be an elite athlete, expertly trained,or rich to have an adventure.

Adventure is only a state of mind. Adventure is stretching yourself ; mentally, physically or culturally. It is about doing what you donot normally do, pushing yourself hard and doing it tothe best of your ability. And if that is true then adventure is all around us, at all times. Even during hard financial times such as these.Times, I believe, when getting out into the wild aremore enjoyable, invigorating and important than ever. Alastair Humphreys talks a lot about Microadventures

— an idea he had for breaking up routine and really sucking the marrow from life.













‖We always talk about the nine-to-five life, the officelife. What about your five-to-nine? That‘s 16 hours aday. I decided to do something in those hours.‖ Adventures are all about change — and fortunately, notthe destination. That means you don‘t need to climb Mt.Everest or go bouncing on the moon to have anadventure — you just need to do something outof your ordinary.Cure the superficial, encourage change, and

become an irresponsible adventurer.

Curing the Profound

Find Your Story

The second reason why we get lost is a biggie, and is alonger process to solve than simply being anirresponsible adventurer.

You’re lost because you don’t have a story. There‘s a book called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years about an author who is being interviewed tomake a movie about his life. And he realizes his life is boring. There is almost nothing worth talking about — the exact opposite of living aconversation-worthy life.

So Miller decides to figure out w hat makes a good story. He compares writing a good story, or watching agood movie, to living a life that is worth living.You can‘t go on without a story any longer than youcan read a book about nothing… If you aren‘t telling a good story, nobody thinks youdied too soon; they just think you died. The problem with not having a story is that even if you

experience a lot – travel, learn, try new things – you








aren‘t providing a context for all the experiences tooccur in.The experiences just become noise, they are random,chaotic, and although enjoyable, they don‘t cometogether and provide any coherent feeling of ―purpose.‖

Creating an Epic Story – A Character Who Wants Something

―A story is a character who wants something and overcomes conflict to get it. A character who wants

something…‖ The first part of an epic story? A character has to

want something. This ―want‖ is the context for allfurther experiences – instead of traveling, it‘s visitingevery country in the world to raise awareness forinternational peace keeping efforts.Instead of going to the gym, it‘s to lose those 50 poundsand not end up like both your parents that died young

from heart disease.

Rather than making a million dollars a year in revenue,it‘s about creating your own legacy – building somethingthat is beautiful, will exist long after you are gone, and will be remembered far longer than your name will be — and then making a million dollars.

A story provides a context for all experiences. Almost all great characters and great stories areilluminated by one clear thing: clear ambition.

The boy in the Alchemist is looking to fulfill and live hispersonal legend. Beowulf is looking to kill Grendel. Allgreat stories have a character with a clear purpose.

———- What is the point of your story? ———-



The Possibility of Failure

―I knew if we were going to tell a good story, it would have to involve risk… the same elements that make a

movie meaningful are the ones that make a lifemeaningful. I knew a character had to face his greatest fears.‖ The whole idea of the story is that it cannot be easily accomplished. If it is easily accomplished, it is by default not worth striving for, not special, not worthreading about.If it‘s easy, it‘s predictably attainable. That is not how anepic story goes. Nor is it how your story is going to go.

No, it‘s going to be goddamn difficult. You‘re going tohave to talk yourself off that ledge every week,sometimes every day, but you‘re going to keep going.

Because what makes the story great is the struggle – the

question as to whether or not the person will succeed.

―It wasn‘t necessary to win for the story to be great; it was only necessary to sacrifice everything‖ The story is about the character transformation. Yourstory is about how your character is forged throughdifficulty.

Picking easy, predictable tasks you can succeed at easily,or can predict the outcome, is not the making of a story others will want to read.

Just imagine if the story went like this: ―He got a job,then stayed at his job, and stayed at his job some more,got a promotion after 5 years, and then stayed at his job, and continued working…‖



There is no risk. It is completely predictable. That‘s nothow you write your story.

In the Alchemist, the boy is constantly gettingsidetracked — he gets stuck in north Africa, he runs outof money, and is forced to work at a Crystal merchant‘sstore for years.

He thinks he has failed, and temporarily, he has. His journey has numerous such setbacks, but how come hedoesn‘t give up? Because his failures are all in the

context of a larger story.He still has a story to write.

———- Whatever you are shooting for — whatever story you are writing — cannot , by default, be easy. It must

require difficulty, it must require pain, and it mustrequire struggle. Ask yourself if what you‘re doing now has a guaranteed outcome, or if it makes you nervous

with the possibility of failure. ———- You want the latter.

An Epic Story Sucks While It is Being ActedOut

―It would be easier not to try, not to get out of bed. I wish I could tell you I woke every morning and jumped into the thrill a character might feel inside a page-turner, but I don‘t; I wake every day and plod throughthe next page of my story, both in words and inactions.The reward you get from a story is always less thanyou thought it would be, and the work is harder thanyou imagined. The point of a story is never about the

ending, remember. It‘s about your character gettingmolded in t he hard work.‖



The truth about living an epic story is clear: it alwayslooks more fun from the outside in.

It‘s thrilling to watch snowboarders jump hundreds of feet into the air doing backflips, or watch fight scenes inthe Bourne movies, or watch UFC and get pumped up.But anyone who has done anything epic realizes that when you‘re in the moment — it‘s terrifying. It makes you queazy, weak at the knees, it takes focus, and thereis the possibility of failure, injury or death.

And it‘s goddamn difficult.

But great gain takes great risk –

———- Remember the truth — living an epic story isinfinitely harder than writing an epic story. It will beharder, take longer, and the fruits you reap won‘t be as

great as you had anticipated. But it will be worth it.

Make your story epic ———-

Living Life Intentionally

―People love to have lived a great story, but few peoplelike the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.‖ A story can happen on its own, or a person can choose to

live life deliberately.

If your family is kidnapped and you are the only survivor, and you spend your life looking to recover yourfamily — you have a story. And you didn‘t choose it.

If, however, your story is currently on the same page, year after year after year, it‘s time to start living lifeintentionally.



That means deliberately choosing to create and live yourstory.

―The great stories go to those who don‘t give in to fear… But fear isn‘t only a guide to keep us safe; it‘salso a manipulative emotion that can trick us intoliving a boring life‖ The easiest way to live life intentionally? Set hugegoals. I mean really unrealistically large goals- raise amillion dollars for a charity, climb the 10 largestmountains on earth even though you‘re blind, have your

kids write a bunch of world leaders asking if they wantto come over for dinner — and then do them. Shoot way bigger than you think is possible.

Pick a goal — say, run a 5k even though you‘re 100 lbsoverweight — and thenmultiply it in difficulty x10. Choose to run an ultra marathon in the future.That is creating an epic life story .

And creating your story is as much about what you doas well as who you do it with:―If your friends are living boring stories, you probablywill too.‖

————————-

It‘s time to wake up and tell yourself you‘re going to write your own story. What‘s it going to be like?

―Doing the unrealistic is easier than doing the realistic: It‘s lonely at the top. Ninety-nine percent of people inthe world are convinced they are incapable of achieving great things, so they aim for mediocre. Thelevel of competition is thus fiercest for ‗realistic‘ goals, paradoxically making them the most time and energy

consuming.



It‘s easier to raise $1,000,000 than it is $100,000. It iseasier to pick up the one perfect 10 in the bar than the five 8s. If you are insecure, guess what — the rest of theworld is too. Do not overestimate the competition and underestimate yourself. You are better than you think.‖

-Tim Ferriss

Becoming un-lost means curing thesuperficial: introducing adventure into life,

and curing the profound: finding your

story.

Your life is a story — is it worthreading?

Why a ―Balanced‖ Lifestyle is the Last Thing You Want if

You Want to be Successfulby AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 6 COMMENTS

About a year ago I decided to say ―I quit‖ to a balancedlife. It wasn‘t getting me where I wanted, and I realized, balance probably isn‘t getting you anywhere either.

Because balance never got anyone anywhere.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/17/why-a-balanced-lifestyle-is-the-last-thing-you-want-if-you-want-to-be-successful/#comments



http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/USDA-Food-Pyramid.gif




We have a culture that claims that balance is the way toa long life, to success, and to a harmonious home life.

But is balance really the right word? And does it carry the right connotation?

That USDA pyramid to the right is supposedly a―balanced diet.‖ Yet anyone who has read the researchknows that you‘ll be deader than my great grandma inno time eating a diet like that.

I once asked a nutritionist how much soda is it okay forpeople to drink, thinking she‘d obviously say ―get it outof your life and you‘ll be better off‖. Instead, she said―everything in moderation.‖ But the truth is that somethings are better than others. And some thingsare worth getting rid of entirely, like the idea of

balance. Now, I realized the nutritionist was probably giving me

an ass-covering answer, and that‘s fine, but this idea of balance is so perversive in modern society that it needsto be addressed. And I firmly believe that the ridiculous concept of balance is holding you back from getting what youdeserve in life.

Balance is overrated

The reason I say that balance is overrated and that youshould oust it from your life is that I was a victim of the balance craze my entire life.I read a lot of Buddhist and Taoist works since I was achild, meditated for 10 years, and fell prey to the―balance is da bomb‖ assumption.









I thought that I shouldn‘t work more than a 9-5, so I hadmy free time. I thought that I shouldn‘t do cross fit because it was too stressful on the body. I thought that Ishould eat a balanced diet based on the USDA foodpyramid.

And what happened? In my work I got nowhere, I wasonly working for other people.

In the gym, I lifted weights for 5 years and still lookedthe same year after year – like most others in the gym.

I started having digestive problems and then when I saw the nutritionist she said ―I don‘t know, you’re eating aperfectly balanced diet, this is really puzzling.‖ And so I told balance politely, but firmly, to piss off andnever return.

Balance and your success

The hairy thing about balance is that we assume it‘ssupposed to be a principle that underlies everything wedo in life. Don‘t ever work overtime. Don‘t workout too hard at thegym. Eat a little bit of everything to be healthy. Weassume it‘s a prerequisite for success. It‘s not.

But has anyone ever told you the ―How come?‖ part of the equation?

If you work overtime what happens? … You have lessfree time. Does that mean you‘re not balanced? Not if you are enjoying your work.

Right now I work 8:30-6:30 most days and then comehome, eat dinner, and work on other start-up projects









until I sleep around midnight. Then wake up at 7 to doit again, 7 days a week.

But am I unbalanced? Nope, because by and large I‘menjoying the work I‘m doing, despite the fact I‘m working 14 hours a day.

Balance is entirely in your head.

In the gym if you push yourself hard what happens?Done correctly, muscular growth. Done incorrectly,

injury. But doing a ―balanced workout‖ never producedsomeone with an incredible physique.

And the balanced diet. People love using the balanceddiet as a cop-out for really answering the question of what to eat and what not to eat, because there actually are things you will live longer by living without. Alas, beyond the aforementioned examples of balance,

there is one huge reason why you should avoid it.Balance never produced anything or anyone special,unique, or exceptional.

True vehicles of high achievement

Balance never produced Mozart, Tiger Woods, orDonald Trump.

Balance is boring, unexceptional, and mundane. Andexpected. The 99% live balanced, predictable, ordinary lives. One thing is for sure: there is going to be an ever-increasing number of people on earth, and the only guarantee for you and I is that it‘s going to be a hell of alot harder to stand out.









Quit balance. Find the extremes, and stand out.

In addition to balance never producing greatness, thereare a couple other ways it hinders your achievement:

Balance prevents you from doing what it takes (*nomatter what*) to get what you want

Balance is a psychological barrier that tells you to quiteven when you are ahead, in the interests of being―balanced‖

Balance is a subjective concept, whose standards

change from person to person Balance is not conducive to change, learning, or

growth, because you‘re, well, already balanced There is, however, one underlying reason why I want you to never live a balanced life again. If you choose toskim this whole post, don‘t miss the last section.

Imbalance is the natural, required, and desired impetus

for growth, change, and greatness.

Bros before hoes & the growth kicker

If I could sum all of this stuff up in one sentence, it would be this: balance is not conducive to changeor growth. If you begin feeling comfortable in life you should be

terrified.

You have to fall down and scrape your knees whilelearning to bike before you attain balance and can ridesmoothly.

And you have to stumble around like a drunkard with vertigo while learning to walk as a child.



But what happens once you do attain balance as a child who learns to walk? You stop improving. So what do you do next? You either stay the same or you begin learning once again by running.Balance is the single most insidious idea that has foundits way into our new-age information prone brains.Only through imbalance can you improve.Imbalance is the stimulus for growth. The avoidance of being balanced, comfortable, andsettled are the key attributes of getting truly exceptionalat anything.

And only through being imbalanced can youlearn to do big things with your time on earth. Greatness was never achieved through balance — sostamp that shit on your wall as a reminder.

The Single Most Important Principle in the Lives of Successful People






http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/03/01/the-single-most-important-principle-in-the-lives-of-successful-people/#comments









All ultra successful people have that one principle behind their success. Whether that‘s Robert Kiyosaki: ―Invest in assets not liabilities.‖ Or whether that‘s Richard Branson: ―Work out.‖ Or Napoleon Hill: ―Have a burning desire forsomething and stake your entire existence on achieving

it.‖ I [although not ultra successful or even successful] havea mantra that goes way to the core of my character, andI‘m here to tell you why you need one too.

I say it hundreds of times every day: every time I go to anew place, every time I show up for work, every time Iread a book, every time I go to a coffee shop, every time I

chat up a pretty girl, every time I go to the gym.

http://www.amazon.com/Rich-Dad-Poor-Teach-Middle/dp/1612680011/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330647549&sr=8-1


http://liveyourlegend.net/productivity-guide-how-richard-branson-does-so-much-the-power-of-fitness/




http://www.amazon.com/Think-Grow-Rich-Napoleon-Hill/dp/1612930298/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1330647569&sr=1-1







It goes like this: When confronted with a decision (even very basic decisions), I ask myself this: How do 99% of people go about doing this? Now, how am I going togo about doing this? And most of the time, I choose the anything-but-what-99%-of-people-are-doing answer.

Why?

Because it almost always works better than the99% answer. And it requires way less work.

It really goes back to the idea of success involvingdeveloping effective systems that you run yourself through. A mantra or principle is a system too, whetheror not you know it.There are 2 reasons why all successful people have their―principle‖ that they live by, and why you need one too.

1. It‘s something to fall back on for motivation. When

work is kicking your ass or things aren‘t going well, you go right back to your #1 man.

2. It‘s a system, and by default enhances efficiency. My system works because it‘s on autopilot — I startsomething, and when it doesn‘t go well I run throughthe system. Almost all of the time I get the results I want after using it.

My #1 Man in a nutshell

My principle is more about the following: what peopledo ―most‖ of the time usually involves the ―least‖amount of thought. The approach works, but it isn‘tefficient or even optimal.

Examples:











In the gym: Most people in the gym look the same year after year,right? I write down what they‘re doing, and limit my strategy to anything but that. I look insanely differentfrom year to year (last year being a prime example, I puton 15 lbs of muscle and maintained a six pack).In a relationship: Most boyfriends get their girlfriends some flowers andgo to a nice dinner for valentine‘s day or for theiranniversary. It‘s fine, it works. But it‘s not special orunique, no matter how in denial you are (that’s

for you , guys). Think about that next time you wantto do something actually extraordinary . In business: Most businesses do exactly the same thing and wonder why they aren‘t standing out. Even just today at work I was talking with the CEO of our startup about corporateculture + values. He goes, ―What a bunch of dumbasses,have you ever seen a list of corporate values that were

actually unique? We value innovation, team work….blah blah blah. Same old shit.‖ The bottom line: This principle is literally the singlemost effective thing I have put in my brain, ever.End of story.

It‘s ultra effective when you‘re trying to stand out, it‘sultra effective when you‘re building a business orthinking up ideas that haven‘t been done before, and it‘sultra effective in making your life exciting as hell.This ―rule‖ of mine is more or less my sales pitch in life. Do what you love is a generic sales pitch, it‘s not yours.Everyone wants to do work that‘s meaningf ul.

What you need to ask yourself is what your individualsales pitch is. What do you constantly harp on peopleabout? What principle is so painfully obvious to you that

you constantly notice it?

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/01/30/the-end-of-ordinary-and-the-birth-of-the-extraordinary/



http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/19/douchiest-role-model-you-should-emulate-in-2012-positioning-exposure-success/




http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/02/18/why-no-one-cares-about-your-shit-why-your-sales-pitch-sucks/






Game Changing Ball Busters

A while back I wrote about the power of having astory. The people we remember and admire most are

those who have a story, some grand plan that moves usand motivates us to do bigger things with our own life.It‘s kinda like your sales pitch, your underlying 2 cents.

And it‘s the single most important thing that many people lack from their lives. When the going gets tough,people with a story, with a sales pitch, with a mantra cansay:

Okay, what‘s my story, what‘s my ―why‖ behind this,what‘s my principle I fall back on? If you don‘t have any of those — when the going getstough you get lost, you get frustrated, you quit.

So today I ask this: what‘s your story, what‘s your sale‘s

pitch every day, and what is that one phrase — that thingthat sums up the meaning behind everything that youdo? What‘s that thing you call on for your second wind, when all the things have gone wrong or you don‘t think you can go on? When something you have built for years has fallen andcollapsed, when you get back up and start building itagain (you WILL get back up), what line of inspiration is

running through your brain?

Success is simple in a world of chaos.

You can read all day about how people becamesuccessful. You can read about stories, about principles,how-to get rich books, inspirational novels, whatever.


















But you can quadruple the time to success if you do thisone simple thing: find your wing man, your mantra, your principle to success, that one spark of motivationthat lights your brain on fire every time you hear it.

And engrave it in every ounce of every action that youdo.

Success is simpler than you think, and beyond every how-to book, every success story, or every billionaire,there is often that one, tiny, simple principle at work.

Why Being a Badass is the Key to Success


*** Disclaimer: This post contains unnecessarily necessary excessive vulgarity. ***

―Losers always whine about their best. Winners gohome and fuck the prom queen.‖

– From The Rock ―The‖ guy walks in the bar.

He stops.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/07/why-being-a-badass-is-the-key-to-success/#comments






Everything slows, people turn, no words are spoken.

His presence speaks for itself.

Nuff said. Bitch.

This is a quick guide to bandits, outlaws, bastards,assholes, and bad guys.

Why they rule.

And why you should be one too — and what all this hasto do with success.

#1. Badasses don‘t give a fuck

Aww mommy doesn‘t like my girlfriend, my job, where Ilive, and how I grew my hair out.

My friends think i‘m ridiculous for passing up on a jobso I can go teach English in Thailand.

People all around me ask when I‘m gonna settle down,have some kids, get a real life.

The proper response? Fuck all of you. Next. Badasses have their own paths, dreams, desires. They

couldn‘t give a shit what your opinion is. And that‘s whatmakes them successful. A fun little quote that is (unfortunately) short on vulgarity and long on wisdom:

‖Those people that are crazy enough to think that theycan change the world – they‘re the ones who actually

do.‖ -Steve Jobs









The badass response? I‘m moving to China. Fuck off. This single minded don‘t-give-a-rat‘s-ass attitude, asdouchebaggish as it sounds, is actually a key trait of successful people.

Have single minded devoted to that single purpose,path, and just do it. End of fucking story.

#2. You ain‘t shit to a badass

You ever realize that the guys who get the most pretty

girls are the ones who don‘t give a shit about them? The same goes for women – the women with the mostpower over men are the ones that treat men like theirlittle brother. They don‘t give a shit. Not only does a badass not give a shit what you think, hedoesn‘t give a shit about one missed opportunity, travel, job or person. Except his mom.

He may have lost the battle, but he sure as fuck is notlosing the war. It‘s burning the boats and chargingforward, Cortes style. Single opportunities – in every sense of the word – don‘tmean shit to a badass. And that makes him powerful anddesired by others.

He is the ultimate ascetic, because he needs nothing and

demands nothing from the world. He fucking takes it.

#3. A badass denies himself in the interestof his greater good

Not the greater good. His greater good.

If you haven‘t seen a single movie with Clint Eastwood,get the fuck off the internet and go watch one.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/09/27/dog-eating-bar-fighting-and-mini-skirts-the-inside-scoop-on-china/


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Point_of_no_return







If you have seen a movie with him, you know hischaracter.

Permanent scowl, hard, doesn‘t give two shits abouthurting himself, denies himself pleasure and gets the jobdone.

Badasses just get the mission done. Not just for the sakeof being badass, but because they are blunt and to thepoint.

#4. Being blunt and to the point is thename of the game

Real old fashioned assholes aren‘t going to waste yourtime by sugar coating what they say. They just say it.

And then then move the fuck on with their life. Andthat‘s how they get shit done.

The get-shit-done type of person doesn‘t have time toexplain. Or romanticize. Or embellish. Or declare whatthey‘ll do.

Because while they outwardly don‘t give a shit about what people think, inwardly they are intensely focusedon what they are doing.

They waste no time with the pretty-ness of it all.

#5. Real good ol‘-fashioned pricks feel likethey deserve the world. And they get it.

This sense of entitlement – the feeling that the world

owes you a fuckload, is actually a key trait in really ridiculously powerful people.



If you feel like you don‘t deserve shit in life, are yougoing to work for things in life? Probably not.It‘s like plotting the ―achievement‖ curves of two kids:Kid A who is told he is a worthless piece of shit his wholelife, and Kid B who is told he can get anything he worksfor.

They are worlds away. And the implications of thosepsychologically-sown seeds are incredible.

#6. To a royal douche, his word is his

mothafuckin bond

Seriously, how badass and oldschool is someone if their word actually means something? That is one of thosedead traits of seriously awesome people. When a badass says something, he means it.

And that‘s why people respect & fear him (choose which

ever one is more valuable to you). Because when yousay what you mean, and you act upon it, believe it or not you‘re unusual.

Our society is filled with ―promises‖ – I promise I‘ll bethere to see you today! I promise I‘ll have it done by themorning. I promise I‘ll be there in five!

But the problem is that when someone says ―be there infive‖ we automatically assume they are fifteen minutesaway and are giving a socially acceptable response.

Be a douche, say what you mean, and you‘ll earn respect(or fear).

#7. Badasses always have something new going on





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na8HBMOiXM4








Boredom is boring as fuck. That was even fuckingrepetitive saying that sentence.

A badass is always in search of the newest challenge(woman), proving ground (who‘s the bigger douche), orfresh adrenaline-injecting circumstance(motorcycles/bungee jumping/cocaine).

Growth and drive for continual improvement is also oneof those inherent traits of people who excel.

It‘s like comparing the ―natural‖ sports kid, versus theone who is training hard to make the high school team.

Talent ain‘t got shit on smart, hard work.

The incessant desire to be the alpha male or king douchein search of a new challenge is the killer mindset you want to harness and cultivate.

Growth + time & application = success.

#8. A badass always has a master plan butnever reveals it

―Tell the world what you intend to do – but first showit‖

-Napoleon Hill, in Think and Grow Rich The outlaw in movies is always a little bit vague. Notonly because he‘s a bad guy who is usually engaged inillegal activities, but mostly because that‘s part of hischaracter.

The bad guy always gets the things done he has to –

even if it results in his death.



And he never talks his ―stuff‖ up on the way. People ask,and he gives a vague response.

Derek Silvers gave a talk on TED called ―Keep YourGoals to Yourself.‖ He cited studies showing that whenpeople share their goals with others, it psychologically elicits feelings of satisfaction and makes us less likely tofollow through.Talk is cheap.

Shut your mouth, be a badass, and be deliberately vague

when talking about your goals. Once you‘ve reached ―that point‖ people will suddenly freak out: ―What?! Since when were you working onthis? How???‖

Instant respect.

#9. Badasses have killer confidence

―I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a li on.‖

-Alexander the Great

When you stare at that guy you don‘t want to fuck with,his eyes automatically say: ―the fuck do you want?‖

So you look away. What do you want?Confidence is the prime attribute of the cool, calm &collected killer.

But there are so many other attributes that overshadow the confidence (the whole art of badassery) that youdon‘t notice.

http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html







http://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself.html



Beneath it all, the badass is just one solid motherfuckermore confident than a lion. He talks slower, looksslower, and reacts slower because, after all, there‘s norush.

Who‘s going to mess with him anyway? He owns the whole damn world.

Confidence can single handedly undermine all yourefforts towards success if you lack it.

And ultimately, the badass is not the guy who can beatup the bullies or defend his girlfriend, but the one sounrationally calm that people are afraid of him.

He stops fights before they start – and not because he‘s a wise man or pacifist. It‘s because no one fucks with thelead of the pack. And he knows that too.Confidence turns you into the Lion. So go be one.

Audi R8 by 29 or Bust: Success for 20 Somethings


―People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.‖

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Dale Carnegie My friend and I have a running game — every time wesee each other and talk about the projects we‘re workingon, we say the goal is owning an Audi R8 by 29.

Of course, an Audi R8 is just a material measure of success, not sanity, and unless you‘re multi-millionaireor have another car, it‘s pretty impractical.

But joking about having our Audi R8s made me think: what the hell do I actually want? What would I consider

to be a successful life for me?

I mean, our concepts of success vary. A lot. It varies based on how good you think you are, what you think you deserve, what you‘ve been given, what you think you‘ve been given, and a ton of other factors.

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The irony of lost 20 somethings is that – despite having way more time than most people – we rarely spend timethinking about what we want out of life or what we would define as being ―successful.‖ We let others do the thinking:

―Go get a high paying, safe job‖ ―Travel the world while you‘re young, because it‘s

work from here on out‖ ―Now that you got your pay raise you can one-up the

Joneses by having a newer BMW‖ Dunno about you. But that‘s a pretty surefire way for meto be fucking miserable every day.

Why would you play by someone else‘s rules? Playing by

someone else‘s rules means you have zero flexibility.

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Playing by someone else‘s rules means they definefailure, and they define success. When you accept society‘s rules you accept it‘s game:failure means you don‘t have a lot to show for your time,success means you have a lot to show. It‘s all downhillfrom there.

Today I challenge you to actually sit down, forget theexpectations and definitions given by your parents /family / friends / society, and decide what you think is asuccessful life.

You’ll Never be Successful Until YouDefine Success — Or Let it Go

―Success means having the courage, the determination,and the will to become the person you believe you were

meant to be‖ -George Sheehan

So have you actually thought about what would definesuccess to you?

Like most others, I bet you don‘t really know what youwant from life. You‘ve never thought about it. And like others, you joke about a million dollars, an Audi R8, and living in Barcelona drinking wine – because they are convenient responses, funny, and away to relieve the stress of actually thinking about what you want. They are socially acceptable responses, and just likemost other conventional wisdom, lack depth or real consideration. But what do you actually want? Do you want to bereally rich? Does money not matter so much? Do you

want to own a company? Do you want to work foryourself? Do you want to live in the city? In the



country? In a foreign country? Speak 1 language? Speak 5? Marry someone from your own country? Marry a foreigner? Become a doctor? A pro athlete? You need a vision of where you‘d like to be, with an ideaof what you want to do. Specifics are unimportant; just get an idea of what would be a ―cool position to be in‖ in the near future. From Killing Your Old Life and Living the Dream So many people never realize that they aren‘t happy orsuccessful because they don‘t know what they want.

They just assume it‘s because their boss is a dick. Or because they don‘t have enough money. Or because lifeis a cruel bitch that screws them over every chance shegets.

They never sit down and think: What is my definition of success? There are a couple steps you should take that will

immensely help define your ideal successful life.

#1 Defining Anti-Success – The Not toDo List In the manifesto I wrote a couple ways of figuring yourdefinition of success. The easiest way? Figure outexactly what you don‘t want.

Let‘s face it, your definition of success probably revolvesaround not doing shit you hate as much as doing stuff you love.

There‘s no worse feeling than your day to day liferevolving around shit you hate — hating every facet of your day. Going to work, work, coming home from work,

the time wasting after work, the pointless-ness of the







same stuff over and over again on the weekends. Thechronic time delaying and wasting.

The Not-To-Do-List: But as a society we are pretty focused on the addition of things: finding happiness, adding value, and acquiringbenefits. In reality, the very act of subtraction is much,much more valuable. Why? #1 Subtraction leaves fewer options (analysis

paralysis anyone?), and thus facilitates decisionmaking

#2 Sometimes you don‘t actually want more, you just want an alteration of the current situation. Bad job

==> Good job. Meaningless life ==> Meaningful life. Determine for yourself the things you neverwant to do again and it will be much easier todetermine which stuff you do want to do again. If you know what you want from life, you‘re already further down the path to success, greatness, and

fulfillment than most people. What things do you never want to see again in your ideallife?

Working 60 hours a week on projects you don‘t careabout?

Vacations only when the boss says so?

Reliance on living in one, fixed location on earth?

#2 Defining ―Utopia‖ – Audi R8s &Unlimited Chocolate Chip Cookies

So what about the other side of the spectrum?

What stuff sounds awesome to you: and be unrealistichere.



It‘s boring if you say ―well, I‘d like to go to some parties,maybe an exclusive one occasionally, and I‘ll have a safecar that‘s reliable, and I‘ll hike my work hours downfrom 60 to 40, and I‘ll have a cute little apartment, andi‘ll go to Thailand once every couple years.‖

Dream bigger, dream much more unrealistically.

Not only are easily attainable goals worthless becausethey don‘t push you, they‘re boring. And I assume you want to create a fucking epic life.

So what does your ideal life entail? What is success for you?

Society is filled with people that have myriad definitions of success: An Audi R8 A million dollars A big house A trophy wife Waking up excited & day to day enjoyment Vacation time Time spent with friends and family Low stress General free time … And many others

But the unfortunate thing is that not all of thesedefinitions of success contain the same underlying principles. Some are based on intangibles like time and happiness.Others are based on tangibles like money or possessions. Some are based on things you can acquire more of –

like items; some are based on things you can never get back – like time.



How do you define your success? Is success for you more of something? (Time/Vacation/Money) Or less or something? (Stress/Annoying Coworkers/Time working) That is something you‘re going to have to answer foryourself, and again, it goes back to the importance of knowing exactly what you want and having measures for achievement. If I‘m making $60,000 a year but with no goal otherthan ―having a job because I‘m supposed to,‖ where do I invest that money? Probably into time & money

wasting, because it has no direction. You‘ll be like most people: buy a new car, new TV, dropa load of money at bars and clubs, buy more stuff,make your main goal at work ―earning more money,‖ or ―working up the ranks‖ and then repeat the rat racecycle. And you are getting no closer to any goal or any formof enjoyment. It‘s just mindless misdirected work.

#3 The Art of the Micro Adventure (Doingsomething)

There‘s one other reason why doing the unrealistic really isn‘t unrealistic at all. It‘s only realistic for 99% of people, but you‘re not the99%. You‘re the 1%, because you realize that if you say you‘re going to build a company that will fund yourdream of unlimited chocolate chip cookies, you‘re goingto have the stones to sit down and work on it, every fucking day.Dreams are unrealistic to most people because they casually say ―they want a million dollars‖ and go right back to watching tv.

No stones.









Our culture is obsessed with passive watching andplaying — not creating and doing.

There is a third suggestion to have a hell of a goodtime and still be ―successful‖ if you have no idea whatsounds ideal to you:Go on a journey / adventure / mini retirement (a laTim Ferriss) If you really have no friggin idea what to do, no goals you want to achieve, and have no idea what the next stepis (but want to take a step), do something like the

following: Travel for some reason other than traveling (E.g. I

moved to china to study martial arts, learnchinese and travel)

Spend 30 days learning something new (Check outthis TED talk)

Go on an impromptu mini-retirement, aka book a

flight somewhere last minute. A while back I wroteabout how it’s way cheaper to travel than evenpay your apartment rent & gas. You can readmore about a money-saving mini-retirement over atJD Roth‘s Get rich slowly, where he had an interview with Tim Ferris.

But there is one important decision that you have tomake:

The decision to make a decision. Just do something. Your ambition needs to match your focus. Don‘t dreamabout Audi R8s or unlimited chocolate chip cookies if you aren‘t ready to bust your ass to make it a reality.

——————–





http://www.ted.com/talks/matt_cutts_try_something_new_for_30_days.html








http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2008/06/03/how-to-take-a-mini-retirement-tips-and-tricks-from-timothy-ferriss/












Option #2, Let it Go: Freestyling YourDestiny

― It is your work that is the ultimate seduction.‖ -Picasso

Not everyone functions better under the model of goalsetting, artists for example describe how much morepainful and labored their art is when there are goals,restrictions, and deadlines when they are doing acommissioned work of art.

There is a third option, if you can thrive under chaos, getshit done, and you already know what ―your work‖ is:

Freestyle your destiny. This is for the artsy-type, extremely focused anti-goalsetter. The person who seems to work worse underpressure with goals, deadlines, and restrictions, and

instead wants to play things by ear.The person who sees chaos and time as opportunities toget obsessed with the work they are doing, jump inand disappear in their work for days on end in a state of flow You just need to ask yourself honestly if you can thrive without direction, goals, and in chaos — and if youalready have found ―your obsession.‖

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Being Lost in the 21 Century

When I got my first job out of college, I thought likemost other young people — get your job, get a place, work your way up the ranks, make more money, take your 2 weeks vacation leave and so on.








In other words, I had no goals. Working was pointless, because I was only working because I should be working. There was nothing I wanted to spend my money on because I was just spinning my wheels.The moment I realized that there was a lot of shit I

wanted to do in my life was the best moment of my life.Suddenly, after work I invested my time and money intoprojects that gave me purpose and helped me feel un-lost. After a year at that job I decided to move to China and

clarify more specifically what the hell I actually wanted.I‘ve come to the conclusion that this singular question isone of the most important questions for 20 somethings(or anyone) to ask themselves:

―What the hell do you define as successful?”

With These Personality Flaws It‘s Hard to Succeed Doing Anything


―Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.‖

-Oscar Wilde

Life always giving you a hard

time?







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People always picking on you?

Dealing with dumb people all the time?

Pissed off about something, anything?

Frustrated so much you want to rip out your hair?

Then this post is especially for you.

Hold Up – Me? Personality Flaws? Couldn’t be

Yeah, hate to break it you. This post is going to be extremely important for several reasons, becauseI believe: That you can only be a good business leader if you are

a well-cultivated individual That you can only live a maximally efficient, enjoyable

and stress-free life if you are self-aware That the clearest way to enjoy traveling and people is

to have a strong sense of self, and thus not getoffended or overwhelmed easily when experiencingadversity

People turn to all sorts of things: religion, spirituality,alcohol, drugs, social groups, the internet, counseling — trying to solve their problems, when, in fact, they don‘tknow the cause.I‘m going to give you some insight into the mainpersonality ―flaws‖ I‘ve discovered we share ashumanity. They are the root cause of our unhappinessand the same ridiculous dramas we experienceover and over.

The cause is the same sad sob story you tell yourself,

day in, day out Do any of these sound familiar? (Think about your 5

closest friends)



1. The Chronic ComplainerIt doesn‘t matter what the circumstances are, the placeor time. This person is always complaining about

something. The coffee is too hot, the traffic too bad, theguy who looked at you wrong, life being unfair. Prone to being anxious and frustrated.

2. The World is Against MeEveryone is picking on me. All the teachers hate me. My friends always think i‘m the source of the problems.

Prone to beer tears and low self-esteem.

3. The Tough Guy/GirlTrying to fight everyone (in their head) all the time.Prone to verbal/physical aggression.

Some guy spills your coffee: ―I should‘ve taken his assout back and pummeled him.‖

Someone looks at you a little too long from their car window: ―What the **** is that guy‘s problem?Goddamn people these days, no manners!‖

Someone talks a little too much about somethingprivate of yours: ―That bitch said what? Oh she‘sgonna get it..‖

Note: Often found in males below 5′ 8″, also known as

―Napoleon Syndrome.‖ 4. The Upstream Swimmer Always trying to be different from the crowd, just for thesake of being different. Life is always a struggle becauseno matter what someone says (with however much truthto it) they are always arguing, or will never agree. Proneto frustration and stubbornness.

5. The Proselytizer (Aka Know-it-all)



It doesn‘t matter how new or esoteric the knowledge you‘ll be sharing with a proselytizer. They always already know it – somehow. Also, as soon as they know it they want to share it, usually in this form:

Know it all: ―Have you heard about the new < insertuseless bragging comment >?‖ Friend: ―No‖ Know it all: ―OMG Are you serious?‖ Friend: ―I just told you… no, I haven‘t heard it, can youtell me already?‖

Know it all: (Getting off from realizing the friendhasn‘t heard of this new bit) ―Well there‘s this…..‖ Prone to wondering why everyone hates them, cattiness,knowing everything, and being a bitch in general.

6. Little Miss Critical We‘re all probably the 6th personally here. It‘s thatperson who is always pointing out the flaws in others.

―He always is blaming others for his problems‖

―She always shows up late and makes up dumb excuses‖

―He is always bitching about something..‖

Prone to knowing very little about him/herself. Alsoprone to utter disbelief when you criticize him aboutsomething.

The problem is within, don’t look without. So how do I find out if I‘m in possession of one of these bad boys? The best way, and the answer you won‘t wantto hear, is this: ask your friends to be brutally

honest.



I can guarantee your friends will know, because whetheror not you like it, friends complain about you behind your back. Always.

And in all likelihood you are the cause of your own

problems I don‘t truthfully know where these personality patternscome from, but I‘m inclined to believe they aredeveloped throughout childhood, and if you aren‘t madeaware of them, they continue to put you in similar lifecircumstances throughout life.

That‘s the reason why your f riend always gets into arelationship with the same kind of guys that treat themlike shit.

That‘s the reason why when you go to a family gathering, it‘s always the same arguments. That‘s the reason why you‘re always < pissed off / sad /anxious / frustrated / etc. >

This will be the greatest gift of your life – self

awareness We all contain multitudes, and certain aspects of thosepersonality flaws within us. It‘s just a matter of slowly learning to perceive them.

Next time you:

Get defensive about something — ask yourself if there may be a grain of truthin those words.

More often than not, you‘ll be shocked to realize there is-







And your mind will be blown.

Why the Ambitious Are the Least Likely to be Successful


Ambition is a mental illness.

It will not make you any more successful thananyone else.

And it definitely will not make you any happier. For many years, I was that typical ―ambitious‖ type. Youknow, I started stuff. I got good grades. I didn‘t wastemy time. I wanted to ―change the world.‖

I hustled my way through high school and college, gotpretty good grades, and then entered the real world torealize that ambition is poison. And the sad truth is that being ambitious makes youno more likely to be successful than anyone else. After college I started working on more and moreprojects on my own. I was going for the whole self employment thing, I was busting my ass, I was

sacrificing friends and playtime like ambitious people were supposed to do right?

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Except that after a year I was totally miserable, andunfortunately for my ambitious self, didn‘t really achievetoo much.

And that‘s when I stumbled upon a couple importantrevelations.

The more you focus on success the harder itis to be successful

A major focus of this blog, Milk the Pigeon, is success

and how to get ―there.‖ That‘s inevitable. It‘s anobsession of mine and not really a choice – I couldn‘tremove this quality from myself if I wanted.The problem I‘ve realized, after reading just about every success book out there, is that success is just likehappiness – you can‘t read books on success and expectto get closer.

Yes.. re-read that.. focusing on success will not get you ANY closer. And in fact, it‘ll probably make youmiserable because you‘re focusing on the wrong thing.

Do the athletes that make it to the olympics focus on winning their olympic matches every time they train?Do they focus on winning? You want me to be honest? Idoubt it.

Pro athletes focus on improving themselves over andover and over, on getting better and better. They focuson breaking personal goals over and over again — they focus on pushing and improving day after day. They focus on turning that 4:30 mile into a 4:27 mile.

Side effect? They get better. Side effect? Beating theopponent in a race. Side effect? Winning the olympics.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/09/24/why-the-ambitious-are-the-least-likely-to-be-successful/milkthepigeon.com





Success is a side effect. It‘s a side effect of many thingsinvested in, over time.

The deceptive 4 qualities that will get youfurther than most, while making you moresuccessful and much happier:

#1 If you like stripping, drop out of school and become a stripper (intrinsic interests)I don‘t know how western society got this one wrong.But most of us have this idea that success or high

achievement takes more work, it takes effort, it takesstruggle, it takes discomfort.

But a lot of the people I talk to that are really good attheir craft don‘t talk about struggle, or pain, or agony. Work, yes. But not struggle. There‘s not really much of an internal feeling that they want to avoid the work. It‘snot easy, and it can get frustrating and tedious, butagain there‘s no intuitive pulling away feeling. When I was young, I used to take Judo with a lot of my friends. One of my buddies really really loved the class. Iloved it too, but part of my love was the love of ―gettinggood at stuff.‖ I would train every day because I wantedto get good and I liked seeing improvement; I also likedthe attention I got from the instructor who noticed how

quickly I improved.

After less than a year I was better than 95% of thestudents in the entire gym. I thought it was pretty pathetic that guys who had been training for 6 years weren‘t as good as I was, since I had been there formaybe 8 or 9 months. I kind of frowned down on them,thinking that they were lazy or not committed since they

weren‘t interested in training every day.



As it turns out, at about the year, year and six monthmark, I ended up losing interest. It was boring and I wasonto better things. I wasn‘t enjoying the processanymore and I wasn‘t enjoying the daily training on my own.

And as for my buddy – despite many on/off periods, 10 years later he is still training and is a pretty damn goodfighter. His fire was never quite as strong as mine because his emphasis wasn‘t on ―getting good.‖ He justdid it because he enjoyed it. If he didn‘t want to

train for a week, he wouldn‘t. As it turns out, I later learned that people thathave fun and enjoy the process of what they’redoing outperform externally motivated peoplein the long-run, by far.

―Intrinsically motivated people usually achieve morethan their reward-seeking counterparts. Alas, that‘s

not always true in the short term. An intense focus on

extrinsic rewards can indeed deliver fast results. Thetrouble is, this approach is difficult to sustain. And it

doesn‘t assist in mastery — which is the source of achievement over the long haul. The most successful

people, the evidence shows,often aren‘t d irectly pursuing conventional notions of success. They‘reworking hard and persisting through difficulties

because their internal desire to control their lives, learnabout their world, and accomplish something that

endures.‖ -Daniel Pink in Drive

#2 Play on playa playa (the emphasis on play and flow)

One of the next biggest problems with focusing onambition and success is that most of us forget to play.

http://www.amazon.com/Drive-Surprising-Truth-About-Motivates/dp/1594484805/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348515061&sr=8-1&keywords=Drive






When the deadline gets closer, we lock ourselves in thedungeon and work harder. When the stress increases weisolate ourselves further. Because the solution isalways work more or work harder. The problem is that both of those are total

bullshit. They‘re lies we‘ve been fed because we think there‘s some insane kind of direct correlation like this:more work + harder worker = more success.Except it‘s not true.

There are a couple key qualities about play that will

make you way more successful (not to mention happier)than those who over-emphasize work (especially whenit‘s forced):

A. Play means you’re probably doing something you enjoy, and chances are you’ll stick with it if you enjoy it. If you are enjoying it, chances are you‘ll outlast people who do not enjoy it, no matter how much fame, money,

or recognition is at the end of the rainbow. = Longevity B. Play takes care of your mental health.I can‘t even tell you how many things I have gotten intoand have gotten extremely good at in a short time(comparatively speaking), but have felt anxious andstressed 24/7. Most of the hobbies or activities I take upthat I get good at I quit because the overwhelmingpressure I put on myself to get good outweighs theenjoyment. When you play you ensure that sanity comes first. You‘d be surprised, sanity is pretty important. It alwayssurprises and disappoints me when I see what a highpercentage of successful people are divorced, unhappy,and overweight. They obviously aren‘t doing it right – they‘ve just decided to work more.

Play = Long-term sanity and health



C. Play gets you into flow easier.Tell me how many things you have truly not enjoyedthat you‘ve stuck with 1,3,5 years down the line.

Tell me, are you mind-blowingly good at the job youcan‘t stand? Are you insanely motivated to show upevery day to work and get better?

What about your hobbies and the stuff you do in yourfree time?

For those of you who love training in some sport, goingto the gym, blogging, reading, etc. Does anyone have totwist your arm to get you to go? No, right? And that‘s theessence behind play - it‘s easy to do forever as long as itfeels like play. The exact opposite is true when you areoverly focused on ―getting stuff done.‖

―There is no reason to believe any longer that onlyirrelevant ‗play‘ can be enjoyed, while the serious

business of life must be borne as a burdensome cross.Once we realize that the boundaries between work and play are artificial, we can take matters in hand and begin the difficult task of making life more livable.‖

- Csikszentmihalyi #3 Intuition (it ain’t just for women) The ambitious are also much less likely to follow theirgut and go with their intuition.I think that is for a number of reasons: we‘re told toforce things and work hard, we‘re too focused on gettingshit done than on being patient , receptive, andobservant, and that we‘re way too concerned withefficiency and maximal use of time. We‘re too myopic in our view of reality and much toofocused on success now, as soon as possible, and

less likely to quiet down and see what our gut says.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/09/11/5-most-useful-tools-for-finding-your-work-in-life/





http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/08/02/why-gut-feelings-aint-just-for-women/







The problem with this insane emphasis on efficiency and productivity is that it just doesn‘t benefit you.

Really, read 53 books in a year? If they really areextremely useful books with a lot to digest, how the hellcan you honestly apply even a small percentage of that book, let alone in a week? If you‘re a business person theanswer should be obvious: there‘s no way in hell!

Really? Put your iPod on 2x speed so you can listen totwice as many podcasts?

Really? Skip the gym so you can get more work done?

Wake up people.. none of this shit benefits youin the long-term. And it doesn’t even make youany more successful! Your gut will tell you which people to trust, which onesto work with, which businesses to pursue and commit

to, what you enjoy, what you hate, where to live, and what work not to commit to.

But when you invest all your time into stuffing inmassive amounts of information in your head and tryingto maximize your use of every 36 seconds, you don‘thave a moment to sit down and say: Hold up, whichone of these projects deep down do I want to

pursue? Many ambitious people are inherently distrusting of themselves and often other people, thinking ―They cando it all themselves‖ and that by sheer work and willpower it all can be achieved. Wake up kids.. that‘snot at all how it works.



Your gut will get you further than your intellect - but you have to stop the over emphasis on more books,more work, more stuff, more experience. When you‘re tired, sleep, when you‘re frustrated, stopand play, when you‘re inspired, write longer than the 40minute period you have allotted for yourself asmaximally efficient.

The curse of the ambitious

I call this the ―chronically ambitious and

chronically unhappy‖ syndrome. We‘ve been told before to enjoy the process, or to go with our gut, or to find something we enjoy.

I know you have heard this before.

But if there’s just one personal that listens tome, one ambitious person who is making

themselves fucking miserable trying to be―successful‖, listen to these last few words: ―Work more‖ needs to be replaced with ―do somethingthat doesn‘t bore you.‖ Interest gets you infinitely farther than any forced work.

―Work harder‖ should be ―go with your gut.‖ Shortcutsexist.

―Struggle, hustle, and persevere‖ need to be exchanged with ―play more at work.‖

Ambition is a mental illness that saps excitementand happiness from life, and leaves a person wondering where the time went.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/30/the-4-myths-of-the-chronically-successful-and-unhappy/







Ambition is poison that shifts your mind from thinkingabout ―having fun right now‖ to having fun ―some day over the rainbow once I get shit done.‖

Well guess what? Once you put yourself in thehamster wheel of ―I’ll relax once I get shit done‖

you’re like a crackfiend who is gonna quit oncethey take one more hit. Kill ambition. You‘ll live longer, be happier, and willultimately be successful.

And one day, someone will ask, ―So what’s thesecret to your success?‖ And you’ll respond, ―Ididn’t know there was one.‖

The Scourge of the 20 Something: Complacent friends.


Do your friends suck? And by sucking, I mean that give you no fuel to better yourself and improve your situation?

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The majority of 20 somethings I see are unfortunately suffering from the same set of similar circumstances: bouncing around from jobs they mostly hate (6 month to3 year intervals, depending on money and tolerance),drinking themselves retarded on friday to de-stress(Crucial), and not really planning many changes in thefuture to better their situation.

And the problem is that the ones who are trying to better their situation are being constantly dragged down by their friends who usually aren‘t.

So, ―I wanna be my own boss‖ thoughts usually get―uhh.. you know how hard that is?‖ responses.

―I‘m gonna quit my job to travel around the world‖usually meets the ―what about your job?‖ response.

And ―I wanna run a sweet company of my own‖ usually meets the ―blank stare‖ response.

A while back we were talking about the pain of peopleclose to you doubting you instead of supporting you in your quest for world-changing. But I noticed a particular trend the other day — Inoticed that firing your friends may be the single bestthing you can do in your quest to live a meaningful life. Just think for a second about the psychic energy it takes

to constantly fight 3, 4 or 5 of your closest friends thatdon‘t understand what you‘re doing (at best), ordisagree with what you‘re doing (at worst).

Think about how much time it takes to fight that and try to convince them otherwise, versus just happily do yourthing with people supporting you.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/05/07/dont-take-advice-from-the-average/













…Seriously, ponder that. Incase you aren‘t sure whetheror not your friends are keeping you stuck, check out thefollowing 7 criteria below:

7 signs your friends suck and are keeping you stuck in the rat race

I‘ve noticed this trend that your friends determine how high you can go. Friends are sometimes what puts theceiling above you, not your circumstances.

#1 The past 3 years of their life they have beenon the same page Successful or not, doesn‘t matter. If nothing has changedin their life, they‘re stuck. They won‘t be helping you getunstuck. This is also known as complacency — aka notgoing anywhere different soon.

They got the stable job. They got their apartment. Sweet.

Existing comfortably. Video games or drinking after work.

* 3 years later *

Stable job. Apartment. Existing Comfortably. Sweet. Video games or drinking after work.

For real, if your friends at age 28 have been doing thesame exact thing since age 22 when they graduatecollege, they‘re probably not going anywhere soon. Thenext most exciting thing that‘s going to happen is whenthey get married. A nd then it‘s back to more ordinary existing.

I can‘t imagine that people find that very exciting, buthey, to each their own. In any case, friends that are stuck



deep, deep in the rat race will not inspire or motivate you to break free. Fact.

#2 They’re without-a-doubt average joesClosely linked with #1: complacency.

If your friends make no effort to change, no effort to donew, exciting things, no effort to make theirrelationships work, no effort to change, no effort toimprove their situation… that probably won‘t changeanytime soon.

I‘m tempted to say ―avoid deadbeats‖ but the problem isthat there are successful ―deadbeats‖ in my opinion.

The lifestyle that so many people in NYC live to me is a―deadbeat‖ life. Working insane hours, just to pay for aposh apartment, with very little month-to-month variety in what they do, where they party, and what they eat.

If you are really set on not being a slave to money forthe rest of your existence, no matter how successful yourfriends are, fire your friends that aren‘t into change, variety, and growth.Decide for yourself to totally shit on the ordinary existence you once had. #3 They choose careers over love

This is an interesting one. When you‘re in college,people don‘t usually say that at some point you may have to choose between a solid relationship and goingsomewhere because of your ―dream job.‖

I could write out a whole list of stereotypes about people who choose careers over love. And again, I could

reference upper west side people in New York city..








But in a nutshell it comes to this: successful careerpeople are successful hamsters. They work damn hard,no doubt, but they‘re f ocused on getting higher up in thesystem, higher up in the rat race, and deeper into thecarrot / stick game.

My assumption is that like a lot of entrepreneurs, you‘retrying to quit being a hamster. Even if you win the ratrace, you‘re still a rat, right?

Rat race = having a job, just to pay the bills, just to exist

in a place, to buy stuff, and then earning money to buy that stuff, and so on.

If your friends are focused on ―working up the corporateladder‖ they‘ve bought big time into an illusion that is keeping them stuck. It‘s like the ultimate mind game – you trick people into thinking they‘re working for whatthey want, but they can‘t see that they‘re still playing

someone else‘s game.

What i‘m saying here about people choosing careersover love is that so many of the ―career‖ people areheavily invested in the system. They love the system,they thrive at the competitiveness of working their way up. And they also rarely think about if that‘s what they really want.

You don‘t want them on your team if you dream doesnot involve the rat race.

#4 They settle You know people who constantly settle for less than what they should?



Like when you go into a convenience store and thecashier accidentally gets your change wrong,shortchanging you by $5. People that settle just shrug―ehh whatever‖ and then let the cashier keep the change.

Why? what the hell is going on? Having formerly been asettle-er and now being an ―asshole‖ (also known asnon-settle-er), I can tell you that most of it is due to fear,lack of fight, and laziness.

None of those are desirable qualities. If your friends

settle and have no fight in them, fire them. If one of your buddies decides to stay with one girl even thoughshe‘s not his type, because ―eh, she‘s good enough‖, eventhough he knows of another girl but he is too afraid toapproach her… ditch.. his.. ass. Or help him get the girl.

#5 They love stuff (rather than using the money to learn something new, travel, or invest into

building relationships) For some reason, people with money can findthemselves as stuck as people without money. Forexample, your friend who is a bum and moved in withhis parents to play video games. Stuck, no desire tochange.

There‘s also your friend who makes 50 or 60k a year,

has a pretty cool apartment, and comes home to watchtv or play video games.

The irony is that they‘re both stuck in almost the exactsame situation, except one is just paying the bills. One islazy or has issues. The other one is simply stuck in theconsume-purchase cycle.

They get the post-college job. They get the new place.They get the new car. Then they start getting the new








stuff. And on and on it goes until they get married.Rinse, and repeat. They are totally stuck and a slave totheir possessions.

Whatever it is you‘re trying to do, assume it‘s notcollege==>job==>marriage==>babies==>death, if yourfriends are obviously deep (making $31k and leasing anew 30k mustang over 36 months deep) in the―consume-purchase cycle‖, they won‘t be helping youtranscend this anytime soon.

#6 They’re ―Too busy‖… …To do the stuff they love.

We’re all busy. For the 20 something it‘s busting yourass to pay the bills. It‘s making only $10 or $15 an hourand then getting stuck paying for your apartment (whichis essentially paying just to exist on one piece of earth), with little left over for yourself.

When most people say ―they‘re too busy‖ in reality whatthey‘re giving into is learned helplessness. Read this. At some point, many people realize it‘s easier just tolower their expectations and exist, rather than find new creative ways to drive themselves toward who they wantto be.

So instead of coming home at 6:30 from work, cooking a

healthy dinner for oneself, hitting the gym, and thendoing something they really enjoy, many of us comehome from work, go out to eat, and promptly flop ontothe couch.

3 years later, not much has changed. Were they really busy? from 7 – 11 ―busy‖ time was generic time wasting.

There‘s nothing wrong with tv or video games or time wasting overall, but the point I‘m trying to get at is that

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness






if your friends have a lot they want to change about theirlives, and they aren‘t putting those outside-work hoursto good use, when the hell are they planning onchanging their circumstances?

#7 ―They’ve made it‖ I recently had a conversation with a family friend (afriend of my parents), and we were talking about herdaughter a few years younger than me. She‘s in hersecond year out of college and working at job that shemostly detests but pays good money.

―She‘s doing it, she‘s made it.‖ Her mom told me, subtly poking at the fact that I moved back in with my parents.

To me, that was one of the scariest statements I‘ve everheard. To her, ―making it‖ was getting a job that paid you well (no matter the other factors), living in your ownplace (financial independence), and then getting

married and having kids.

Wait. So this whole grand build up in life, everythingI‘ve worked for my entire life, just is to exist on someplot of earth and raise more kids to just exist on a plot of earth? You‘ve gotta be fucking kidding me..

I was polite though. I said ―Yeah, hmm, she‘s doing a

great job‖ and then proceeded to thoroughly ponderthis.

Do most people really think that‘s ―making it?‖ For real?

The power of friends sometimes scares theshit out of me



You know, the power they have over our success andquality of life, whether or not you want to admit it.

This isn‘t really a good ‗ol fashioned ―avoid deadbeats‖conversation that your mom probably gave you whenshe first caught you smoking weed.

It‘s a real, honest wake up call to some of us who may ormay not realize that our friends are totally preventing usfrom getting to where we want to be.

I‘m not even talking 6 figure salaries.. I‘m just talkingliving a quality of life that could be termed ―meaningful‖and ―Worthwhile.‖

And I‘m not talking about friends that disagree with what you do. I‘m simply saying that if all your friendsare living one kind of life, it‘s easier to forget that there‘sanother way. And sometimes what all your friends have

is not what you want.

Incase you have no bloody clue what you want.. it‘s timeto get pondering.

So read this: Success for 20 somethings. And then fire your friends keeping you stuck.

The End of Ordinary and the Birth of the Extraordinary





http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/01/30/the-end-of-ordinary-and-the-birth-of-the-extraordinary/#comments







Ordinary just doesn’t cut it anymore. Well, it never did really. You don‘t have to take my word for it though — look anywhere around you. There‘s a lot of people on theplanet, all of which you‘re cooperating or competing with for something.

For a job, for a mate, for success — just clocking in andclocking out aren‘t worth much anymore. Just showingup doesn‘t get you much these days. Doing what‘sexpected is worth less than nothing.

And people will tell you a lot of things like ―go back toschool and get more education‖ or ―work your way up

the ranks‖ or ―diversify yourself.‖

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/01/25/opinion/friedman-average-is-over.html?_r=3&src=tp






But in reality you don‘t need to be told anything, youonly need to ask yourself one question:Is my life — the things I do — remarkable? If resumes were to just disappear one day, never to existagain, and we merely told people our accomplishmentsin order to get a job — what would you have to say?

What have I done with my time? And mostimportantly:

Is what I have done with my timeextraordinary?

####

Milk it, chew on it, roll it around.

Being extraordinary isn’t about ego orcomparison, it‘s not one global pissing contest to see who can build the next successful Zappos.Using your time extraordinarily entails persistence,consistency, focus, purpose, passion and results towardssome collective purpose or mission… it‘s everything inone package.

If you aren’t currently building something that will one day become extraordinary, you should be.Start now.

Seriously.

Immediately.



With every minute of every day you choose tobe ordinary or extraordinary. OP-ED COLUMNIST

Average Is OverBy THOMAS L . FRIEDMAN

Publ ish ed: Janu ary 24, 2012 508 Comments

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In an essay, entitled ―Making It in America,‖ in the latest issue of The Atlantic, the

author Adam Davidson relates a joke from cotton country about just how much a

modern textile mill has been automated: The average mill has only two employees

today, ―a man and a dog. The man is there to feed the dog, and the dog is there to

keep the man away from the machines.‖

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Josh Haner/The New York Times Thomas L. Friedman

Go to Columnist Page »

Related News

The iEconomy: How the U.S. Lost Out on iPhone Work( January 22, 2012)

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Davidson‘s article is one of a number of pieces that have recently appeared making

the point that the reason we have such stubbornly high unemployment and sagging

middle-class incomes today is largely because of the big drop in demand because of the Great Recession, but it is also because of the quantum advances in both

globalization and the information technology revolution, which are more rapidly

than ever replacing labor with machines or foreign workers.

In the past, workers with average skills, doing an average job, could earn an average

lifestyle. But, today, average is officially over. Being average just won‘t earn you

what it used to. It can‘t when so many more employers have so much more access to

so much more above average cheap foreign labor, cheap robotics, cheap software,

cheap automation and cheap genius. Therefore, everyone needs to find their extra— their unique value contribution that makes them stand out in whatever is their

field of employment. Average is over.

Yes, new technology has been eating jobs forever, and always will. As they say, if

horses could have voted, there never would have been cars. But there‘s been an

acceleration. As Davidson notes, ―In the 10 years ending in 2009, [U.S.] factories

shed workers so fast that they erased almost all the gains of the previous 70 years;

roughly one out of every three manufacturing jobs — about 6 million in total —

disappeared.‖

And you ain‘t seen nothin‘ yet. Last April, Annie Lowrey of Slate wrote about a

start-up called ―E la Carte‖ that is out to shrink the need for waiters and waitresses:

The company ―has produced a kind of souped-up iPad that lets you order and pay

right at your table. The brainchild of a bunch of M.I.T. engineers, the nifty

invention, known as the Presto, might be found at a restaurant near you soon. ...

You select what you want to eat and add items to a cart. Depending on the

restaurant‘s preferences, the console could show you nutritional information,

ingredients lists and photographs. You can make special requests, like ‗dressing on

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the side‘ or ‗quintuple bacon.‘ When you‘re done, the order zings over to the

kitchen, and the Presto tells you how long it will take for your items to come out. ...

Bored with your companions? Play games on the machine. When you‘re through

with your meal, you pay on the console, splitting the bill item by item if you wish

and paying however you want. And you can have your receipt e-mailed to you. ...

Each console goes for $100 per month. If a restaurant serves meals eight hours a

day, seven days a week, it works out to 42 cents per hour per table — making the

Presto cheaper than even the very cheapest waiter.‖

What the iPad won‘t do in an above average way a Chinese worker will. Consider

this paragraph from Sunday‘s terrific article in The Times by Charles Duhigg and

Keith Bradsher about why Apple does so much of its manufacturing in China:

―Apple had redesigned the iPhone‘s screen at the last minute, forcing an assembly -

line overhaul. New screens began arriving at the [Chinese] plant near midnight. A

foreman immediately roused 8,000 workers inside the company‘s dormitories,

according to the executive. Each employee was given a biscuit and a cup of tea,

guided to a workstation and within half an hour started a 12-hour shift fitting glass

screens into beveled frames. Within 96 hours, the plant was producing over 10,000

iPhones a day. ‗The speed and flexibility is breathtaking,‘ the executive said.

‗There‘s no American plant that can match that.‘ ‖

And automation is not just coming to manufacturing, explains Curtis Carlson, thechief executive of SRI International, a Silicon Valley idea lab that invented the

Apple iPhone program known as Siri, the digital personal assistant. ―Siri is the

beginning of a huge transformation in how we interact with banks, insurance

companies, retail stores, health care providers, information retrieval services and

product services.‖

There will always be change — new jobs, new products, new services. But the one

thing we know for sure is that with each advance in globalization and the I.T.

revolution, the best jobs will require workers to have more and better education tomake themselves above average. Here are the latest unemployment rates from the

Bureau of Labor Statistics for Americans over 25 years old: those with less than a

high school degree, 13.8 percent; those with a high school degree and no college, 8.7

percent; those with some college or associate degree, 7.7 percent; and those with

bachelor‘s degree or higher, 4.1 percent.

In a world where average is officially over, there are many things we need to do to

buttress employment, but nothing would be more important than passing some

kind of G.I. Bill for the 21st century that ensures that every American has access to

post-high school education.

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Are You a First-Time Entrepreneur That Sucks at StartingSomething?


Tell me how familiar this situation is.

― Yeeeeee I can’t wait to start my own business,quit my 9 to 5, and tell the man to suck it! I’m

gonna be driving my R8, taking vacations 5x a year, and living wherever I want.‖ … And then despite the fact that you actively wereworking hard and trying to figure out ―what yourbusiness would be‖ , over a year later you are no closer.Right?I‘ve been there. In fact, I daresay I‘m on the tail end of my ―being there.‖ And it‘s shitty. You think you‘re doing

work, but you‘re not. You think you‘re getting closer tohaving your own business, but you aren‘t. Six monthspass and you think ―What the fuck have I been doing…. Iknow I‘ve been doing work but… it can‘t be!‖ I was inspired by a Friend Frank Hajdu‘s post over atPost masculine: The First-Time Entrepreneur. Hisexperience closely mirrors my own.Guy gets idea to be self employed. Guy starts

researching self employment. Guy reads success books.

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http://postmasculine.com/first-time-entrepreneur






Guy reads a lot more. Guy listens to podcasts all day.Guy listens to podcasts on 2x speed thinking he canacquire as much vital knowledge in 1/2 the time. Guy realizes over a year has passed and he has nothingphysical to show for the past year. Guy has a mental breakdown.

Guy realizes it‘s time to start over, not because what he was doing didn‘t work, but because what he wasdoing wasn’t actually work.

Symptoms of ―sucking at launching things‖ You know you‘ve acquired too much intellectualinformation without actually doing anything when:

People ask what your business is, because you seemso knowledgable (but you don‘t have a business)

You start reading the same information over and over

You become an armchair expert – you start critiquing businesses, saying ―Pfft that was so obvious, why didn‘t they see that?‖

If, at any point, you start seeing these symptoms comingup, but you still don‘t have your own business going,diminishing returns have set in and hopefully you‘reseeing the signs that you‘re avoiding the real work thatneeds to be done.

The right pill to swallow

There are three main realizations I had while in thethick of this shitty, inactive phase.

Despite putting in 3+ hours a day during this phase,there were a couple main revelations I had that I think

revolutionized how I view life. Failure to launch is not



just an issue for entrepreneurs — it‘s a massive inertiachange that plagues anyone starting anything new,ranging from dieters to businessmen.

#1 The Lifeline rule – Produce Every Time You Want to Consume A lot of talk has been made in recent years about ―low information diets,‖ and for a good reason. There isinformation available for free on any subject that hasever existed in history. Using two fingers can teach youmore about the world than even kings of past could

dream of.

But it‘s also a curse. Show up to work at 8:30 andrealize that it‘s 10:30 and you haven‘t actually doneanything? Yep.

Want to start a business, and set aside ―3 hours a day‖ to work on it. A year later, have nothing accomplished even

though you spent those 3 hours ―doing something‖ ?Totally possible.

Plan on starting a diet regime, so you start by gatheringinformation on the most effective workout routines, do‘sand don‘ts of eating, and other diet information – but amonth later you haven‘t actually set foot in a gym?Happens every day to thousands of new dieters.

You lie to yourself. You deceive yourself. You think work is getting done. But as september passes, and October, you realize Christmas is here and you have nothingphysical to show. No proof that you have done ANY WORK. Your business is no closer to making youmoney. Your waistline is not getting thinner. Do not do

this!



I suspect this problem was less of an issue for ourancestors. Now, one could easily sit in front of acomputer and learn the secrets of all the world withoutmoving. And never actually do anything.

So the first thing that‘s key is to consume as littleinformation as possible. Close that damn

website, turn off that podcast, and stop readingthat 53rd business book. But here’s the huge revelation: Every time you feellike consuming, use that as your trigger to produce.

Shifting from a consumer mindset to a producermindset totally revolutionized the way I see the world. This advice was originally given in M.J. Demarco‘s Book The Millionaire Fastlane. Whenever I feel like reading a blog or googlingsomething, I instead open up mine and write for a little while.

Whenever I feel like reading someone‘s free report, I getto work writing another free report of my own.

Whenever I want to read another business tips article, Isit my ass down and instead start producingresults. The easiest way to have little to no informationconsumption ( and shift yourself from reading to takingaction) is every time you want to read or consume in any way, focus on producingsomething. After you do this for a few weeks you‘ll have successfully implanted a new trigger on your brain — the desire forconsumption (reading another business book) will bereplaced with sitting down and producing something

real and tangible.



Do not underestimate how powerful this is. This meansthat you‘re produce ―walk‖ 90% of the time instead of just listening to more ―talk.‖

#2 Resistance The second thing that happens to many of us is even

when we know what we need to do (and we wantto do it), we’re exhausted by the idea and weprocrastinate. Even if deep down you know you want to start a business or need to start a diet, you know it‘s the

best/only right thing for you, and you love the idea of starting one, you‘ll still probably encounter resistance todo anything on a daily basis.To paraphrase Steven Pressfield, in his book The War of Art , anytime we see a long, hard road ahead of us (evenif it‘s on a path doing something we love) we encountermassive resistance. It‘s easier to forgo long-termhappiness and settle for happiness today. But easier is

not what we‘re after. This same exact resistance happens on a broadscale topeople in a couple categories: Dieters, people about tomake a massive life change (end a relationship, moveacross the world, or quit their job and start a business),and any else who knows they must do something fortheir own happiness/life enjoyment, but know it will bea long hard road.

Guess what. Even if you know you were born to be an entrepreneur, you’re still gonna find yourself wasting time and struggling to start. Even if your intuition knows you are on the right paththat your heart wants, you will still need to struggle andfight! This was a tough thing for me to realize for a long

time. I figured if I was on the right path, working would be natural and relatively easy.



Nope. Not at all.

This single realization blew my mind. Even doing what you want, overall in the large sense of the phrase, entailsdoing a lot of little things that you don‘t want and feelresistance to.

The restaurant owner may love owning a store, but may hate (read: feel resistance towards) actually doing the business aspects of owning a store. Getting the word out,doing the books, hiring and firing, learning about

management, etc.

You will have to fight. Even (and especially) when you do what you like. Fight resistance. Don’t fight your gut. And that‘s one last big distinction that I‘ve learned.

Not liking something and feeling resistance towards it

are two totally different things. Not liking something means you‘ll always feelresistance. Liking something and feeling resistancemeans you know you must do something, but you needto push through the short term pain to get to the nextstep.

Resistance is something that is tough but you know it

brings you closer to where you want to be. Hiking thatdamn mountain for the view up to. You want to. But it‘snot easy. Not liking something means you‘re not goingin the right direction and there‘s resistance. You didn‘ttrust your gut. You aren‘t getting closer to anything.

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#3 Finding business ideas more useful than apoo-flavored lollipopThe last, extremely common problem that I face(d) likea lot of other first timers is having no clue what kind of business to start. This one is tough and I hear about it time and timeagain.

I made a big case against starting with yourpassion awhile back mostly because from a financialperspective it‘s not a safe way to start a business, andfrom a time perspective it takes so long to figure out what you really like that it will be just another thing toparalyze your start.

So here‘s how to find an idea of what kindof business to start:

I have mentioned other ways to find business ideas insome of my other business posts,like this one here. #1 Previous life problems that you have solvedfor yourself A couple examples: My family friend was hospitalized with allergies to various foods, dyes, and allergens that she had no idea

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/08/14/the-worst-entrepreneurial-advice-in-the-world/



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about. After spending thousands of dollars on hospital bills (And another thousand hours educating herself),she became pretty well acquainted with food allergiesand the nature of a hyopallergenic diet.

Result? She opened her own allergy-sensitive food linethat she plans to sell to a major food company.

Another example: I have a long list of random healthissues that have showed up. Despite the fact that I eat nosweets, and have a six pack from an insanely pure diet, Istill manage to have all kinds of sport-related knee/back

pain, digestive problems, asthma since childhood, andsleep issues.One of those problems I had my entire life was kneepain. As I got into working out more, my body wasobviously not aligned properly and not used to that levelof physical activity, and I started getting knee painalmost every day. Being the science nerd I am, I satdown and made up a document that included all my

research into my knee pain.

Less than 6 months after those tests, I was pain free,and have been knee pain free ever since . I don‘teven have one day with knee pain. You‘ll discover that problems that you have are, in fact,quite universal. Knee pain stems from inactive glutesfrom prolonged sitting, tight muscles around the pelvis,and inflexible ankle and hip joints. A very commonproblem these days.

A perfect example for a business for me would be somekind of knee pain product or school, or one of thosehome delivery infomercials, a nicely packaged DVDpackage where you can home train yourself, or personal

training just for people with knee issues.So – health problems are one example.



Another is lifestyle problems – e.g. working out,picking up girls, dating advice. These are all superhigh paying industries.Solving your own problem can be a powerful way tosegway into a business that solves the problems of millions of others too.

#2 If you still don’t know, hang out in anindustry you like and solve someone else’sproblem Solving problems is pretty much the most sure-fire way

to make a winning business that pays you.

Having said that, I‘m still a huge believer in doingsomething you enjoy. In the past year I started 2-3things that I knew would pay me (they were profitableand in-demand niches) but after about two months of busting ass I realized I didn‘t give a shit. You don‘t wantto do that. I can‘t imagine how unhappy I would have

been at the one year mark.

So if you don‘t have any problems you‘ve personally solved, hang out in industries that you like.

If you’re into health and wellness… hang out with(or become) a personal trainer, yoga instructor, massagetherapist, etc.

If you’re into business and entrepreneurialstuff, join a meetup or start an entrepreneur group onmeetup.com. Join Toastmasters, BNI, or just hang out with young people into getting shit done. You willquickly see problems in society that need solving.If you’re into tech stuff, be a person that checks outnew devices and rates them, go to conferences where

people discuss and try out up and coming devices. Readnegative reviews on amazon.



If you’re into fashion, hang out with people into thatkind of stuff! Go to fashion meetups, talk to people thatown small local fashion places. Create your own stuff and wear it as free marketing.This is some advice that was not given to me, and I wishit was. For over a year I struggled to figure out ―what tostart next.‖ I ran through a bunch of great ideas and businesses that I didn‘t give a shit about, because they were industries I didn‘t give a shit about (like internetmarketing).No one told me that if I didn’t know what my

passion was, I should just spend a lot of time inindustries I do like. Problems are everywhere. You’ll see one. And if you’re already in a community you careabout (health & wellness for me) you’ll probably

be into solving the problem. Another personal example is that I was always a skinny kid.

Over the course of years of personal testing, deliberateover-eating, and tons of weight lifting, I‘ve gotten closeto finding out a somewhat consistent formula forhelping skinny kids gain weight.

I‘ve seen it all. I‘ve failed a hundred times. It has takenme years and years of doing things to try to get thisright. Right now, i‘m 30+ pounds heavier than my ―natural‖ body weight.

This is an example of a personal struggle and a hobby that solved my own problem — and probably will solvethe problem of millions of other guys that want to gain weight.



If you look on big blogs like Tim Ferriss & Mark Sisson,―how to gain weight/muscle‖ is one of the top 5 most viewed posts. It‘s a hugely popular niche. And I have alot of experience solving this problem.

Lots of our own business starts can be taken frompersonal struggles put in perspective. And they‘re ofteninfinitely more fun (even when it‘s not fun) than solvinga problem totally unrelated that you don‘t care about.

How I sucked at starting my own thing, and

how not to suck I call this ―rookie starter syndrome.‖ Because it doesn‘tmatter if you‘re a first time entrepreneur or a first timedieter. It‘s just more of a ―first-time‖ thing because youdon‘t realize it and it sneaks up on you.

I spent over a year ―trying to find my passion‖ and start

a business I loved; I spent over a year gettingmillimeters from starting something that could havechanged my life, but flaking out last minute; I spent overa year going bipolar on ideas thinking one was ―finally good enough‖ and then two days later ―eh, not into it.‖

This painful phase of bipolar excitement about startingthings made me realize those two really importanttruths you read above:

#1 Producing every time you want to consume will totally change your life. This is one of the mostimportant truths about life I have learned for people inthis information-rich era (Again, major gratitude to MJDemarco).



#2 Even when you do things you love, sometimes you will still feel massive resistance to doingmuch of the work!Sometimes you like the overarching goal or theme(starting a business that provides me with freedom from9 to 5, unlimited income potential, vacation when I want) but you don‘t like the many small daily battles(getting the word out, getting a site up, ―networking,‖meeting new clients, producing tons of content ortesting) that you have to go through.

Society has stacked the odds against us when we want to start something. Whether you‘re a dieter or an entrepreneur without a business, because of the nature of our modern world,starting is harder than ever. There is too much easily accessed information. There are too many successstories. There is too much to consume.

Really, as one of the biggest revelations in my life, I wantto say to you the first time entrepreneur, starting yourown gig may mean suiting up for war every day.

But the pain of the daily fight is much less thanthe pain of time passing and you realizing that

you were too paralyzed to begin. Begin.

The Price of Being an Entrepreneur and World Changer


http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/04/14/the-price-of-being-an-entrepreneur-and-world-changer/#comments






Let‘s face it.

You‘re tired of the existence you‘re living and youdecided that it‘s time to partake in the revolution. You decided that what you‘re living now is a lie, that it‘s

so exhausting and draining that you‘re formulating yourstrategic plan to evacuate.

Except no one‘s got your back.

Your parents don‘t say ‖yeah, it‘s time to stop living alife that sucks and embrace the unknown doing what you want.‖

Instead of your friends saying ―Hell yeah that sound slike an epic journey,‖ they give you that cockeyed look and go ― Really? Good luck with that…‖ Your closest friends and family, rather than choose tosupport you, view you as the misfit (and a misfit youare) of the family that is sort of ―figuring things out‖ or―being a wild child.‖ You still hear the ―find the best paying, safest job‖ talk from one parent. And you still hear the ―go back to

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/11/30/12-commandments-of-the-revolutio/



http://thinkexist.com/quotation/here-s-to-the-crazy-ones-the-misfits-the-rebels/761372.html









school and embrace higher education‖ talk fromanother.

And it‘s right about that time at dinner that you roll youreyes, excuse yourself, and wonder if stabbing yourself inthe face with your utensils might be more productivethan the 400th broken record discussion with yourparents.

——————–

Why your parents, friends and family don’t understand you

―Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoraswas misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and

Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be

great is to be misunderstood.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I‘d hazard a guess and say the following: most people who changed the course of human history probably weremisunderstood.

And the follow up isn‘t rocket science either.. drumrollplease.. those people changed the world because they

did things differently, right?

And doing things differently inherently makes peoplesuspicious, or at least curious, of what‘s going on.

Chances are, you‘re doing something wildly diff erentthan your other siblings. Than what your parents did.Than what most people your age are doing.



If your parents always had jobs, maybe you‘re going forself employment.

If your friends have lived in the same spot their entirelives, maybe you‘re moving across the world.

If you come from a family of doctors, maybe one day yourealized you hate medicine and are in fact an artist – and would rather starve for as long as it takes to make it while doing something you view as worthwhile.

In any case, the cause is the same: your people eitherdon‘t understand you and think you‘re dumb and naive,or they‘re envious of what you‘re doing and the potential you have to realize dreams they never pursued.

So your family and friends think you: A) either aren’t cut out for it (you can’t do it) or B) they’re envious because you have the balls to

finally create a dream life — something they were too afraid to do.So where do you go from here?

You know what you want to do, you know you don‘t want to go back to what you were doing, but you alsoknow that no one‘s got your back.

The fix

The fix ultimately is pretty simple. Grow some stonesand do it. (That‘s the motto of all successful people,anyway). That‘s obviously a simplistic, myopic answer. But at itsessence, doing what others just talk about













doing is the way to get support from your friends andfamily.If you wait for the support of others you‘ll never start.

There is no best time. If you wait, you’ll neverfind a good time go. You’ll find a million excusesto stay and keep loathing your daily existence. So it‘s time to show that it‘s worth it.

And that there isn‘t really a choice in your mind. Going back would suck, and you‘d rather burn all forms of

retreat and hop into the vast unknown.

It‘s your chance to prove how badly you really want it. It‘s your chance to finally entertain the possibilities of what might happen if you couldn‘t fail. And it‘s your chance to finally destroy the potential of living a mediocre, boring life, comparing your lawn withthat of the Jones‘, envying your corporate friends who

are trading their life for money, all the while saying ―I wish I could do that.‖ Nope.

That won‘t be you.

And when you do reach the other side, you can show others that yes, it really is possible. And no, it‘s not as

scary as it looks from the other side. You can tell them that you don‘t want to die feelinglike there was still so much stuff you wanted to try. (The#1 regret of the dying) You can tell them that you‘re tired of comparing yourself to your corporate friends that work 70 hour weeks andspend the rest of their free time drinking.












http://www.activistpost.com/2011/11/top-5-regrets-of-dying.html













And you can tell them that what you‘re doing is perhapsthe most worthwhile thing in existence – the deliberatecrafting of a meaningful life that is fucking awesome.

————————-

Mediocre living and thinking are comfort food for mostpeople.

It‘s easy, it‘s predictable, it doesn‘t require much to keepit going.

They don‘t want to invest the effort to create anextraordinary one. And now that you‘ve consciously chosen to make adecision that you want to create a life that looks like it belongs in a movie, it should come as no surprise that99% of people won‘t understand you.

Some will hate and doubt you.

Some will envy you.

Some will just shrug and say ―Uhh, go for it.‖

Some just plain won‘t understand you.

Some will say ―prove it.‖

Regardless of what they think or what they say, yougotta tell them ―Gotta go, work to do, history to make.‖ Because ultimately you’re doing the stuff mostpeople just talk about doing. Your doing the stuff of legend. The stuff people will talk about. You‘re the one people want to live vicariously through.
















Truth is?

The world needs more people like you.

The Worst Entrepreneurial Advice in the World


The following is an except from a new manifestocoming soon:

Entrepreneurial advice that doesn’t suck. When I wanted to start a business, so many people told me ―do what you love and the rest

will follow.‖

People tell me ―Start with something you‘re good at!Pick a skill you‘ve got.‖ And time and time again peoplecontinue taking this advice and start businesses thatsoon after fail.

It just blows my mind how much bullshit there is in the world that we take as ―common sense‖ or ―colloquial wisdom.‖

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/08/14/the-worst-entrepreneurial-advice-in-the-world/#comments






Apparently every person I run into is a diet and fitnessexpert, despite the fact that almost 100% of them carry 30+ extra pounds of fat around their gut.

Apparently every person I run into is an expert businessperson who can tell me the next milliondollar idea. And apparently everyone around me knows how to livean exceptional life despite the fact that they are livingmediocre ones.

The hell is going on here? I‘ve got a theory here – common knowledge – that is,things we pass on just because they sound plausible, isalmost always passed on by people with noexperience in the field. That‘s why your fat aunt gives you diet advice.

That‘s why your broke ass uncle gives you advice on how

to be rich.

And that‘s why daddy is giving you pearls of wisdom onliving a happy life despite being miserable, sneakingpainkillers at night, and drinking himself to sleep.

The problem is that the most ignorant of people pass onthe most harmful of information - false information.

Back to the story.

So there I was, hellbent on starting my own businessand really seeing how this entrepreneurial thing wouldpan out.

So I did what apparently everyone told me, because,

well, I assumed it must be true if that many people saidit!








I decided to do something I was good at. Now here‘s the thing. What do life coaches, karate teachers, artists, andpersonal trainers have in common? Come on, guess !#1 They all started their business based on the factthat they were good at something.#2 Most of them are broke. Sure maybe you‘ve got apersonal trainer friend who‘s making 50 or 60k, now ask them how many hours they work for their business. Ask them how often they disconnect. It‘s totally dysfunctional.

Really, most of them. How many life coaches have I metthat are gainfully self employed? Not one. How many lifecoaches have I met? Probably over 50. Not one ismaking enough to quit their day job.

Karate teachers.. well, there‘s not much to say. Basically every town in the USA has a new karate studio comingin and out every few years.

Artists? Yeah…

Personal trainers? Just because you love working outdoesn‘t mean you should be a personal trainer. And forchrists‘s sake please don‘t become another genericpersonal trainer.

So why are they all broke?

They started based on the shitty ―common sense‖principle of ―do what you love, do what you‘re goodat.‖ Wrong wrong wrong. If I hear this shitty piece of advice from non-entrepreneurs again I think i‘ll projectile vomit. Not only

has this set me back by a good few years, I feel like most



of the entrepreneurial ―90%‖ failures come from thisgroup.

Regardless of whether or not you do what YOU love, you HAVE to do what THEY love

Make something people want. Not what you think they want, what you know they want. Want me to sum it up? Here‘s some no-bullshit advicefrom the Millionaire Fastlane:

How will it help them? What‘s in it for them? Will it solve their problem? Make their life easier? Provide

them with shelter? Save them money? Educate them? Make them feel something? Tell me, why on God‘s

green Earth should I give your business money? What value are you adding to my life? Reflect back to our

producer/consumer dichotomy. Consumers are selfish.They demand to know is ―what‘s in it for me!‖ To

succeed as a producer, surrender your own selfishnessand address the selfishness of others.

Never start a business just to make money. Stopchasing money and start chasing needs. Let me repeat

that, because it ‘s the most important thing in thisbook: Stop thinking about business in terms of

your selfish desires, whether it’s money,dreams or “do what you love.” Instead, chase

needs, problems, pain points, servicedeficiencies, and emotions.

Entrepreneurs fail because they create businessesbased on selfish premises, and selfish premises don‘t

yield profitable businesses; they lead directly into the90% failure wastebasket. ―I need a new income

stream.‖ ―I‘m an expert in [blank] so I‘ll do that.‖ ―I

read a ‗get rich‘ book and it says to start a business.‖ Wrong. Wrong. And wrong. Again, selfish, narcissistic

http://www.amazon.com/The-Millionaire-Fastlane-Wealth-Lifetime/dp/0984358102/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1344964421&sr=8-1&keywords=millionaire+fastlane






premises are VIP invitations to violate theCommandment of Need.

In retrospect, many of us say ―oh damn that was a dumbmistake.‖ But for some reason it‘s not painfully obviousto new business people.

It‘s not painfully obvious to the guy opening up anotherkarate studio 6 months after the previous one went outof business. It‘s not painfully obvious to the millions of us new people trying to be self employed and making thesame couple mistakes over and over.

Why, I have no idea.

The first delusion that comes into the mind of mostnewly self employed is that you‘ll be ―doing what youlove.‖

Changing how you view self employment

Alright, go with this for a second:

When I first wanted to be self employed, I took the―logical step‖ of seeing what I was good at andseeing what I liked to do. Wrong. Don‘t do that.

I started another project because I thought ―It would besoooo cool, this will change the world, this is awesome - why wouldn’t people want this?” Dumbest, most classic rookie saying ever.

Let me repeat, you know a person is a novice when they say two things: #1 ― I have a million dollar idea,‖ or #2―This is so sick, this could change the world, whywouldn‘t people want this?‖



When you want to be (making enough money to feed yourself) self employed, start with where you see a need.

Start seeing potential in an industry first, and then see where your skills can help. This pretty much willalleviate the biggest part of your anxiety, which isputting time and money into something that nobody will want. Believe me, finding out that one is a bitch. I‘ve invested thousands of dollars, and worse, thousandsof hours of my life into something that produced noreturn except for experience. That doesn‘t have to

happen.

There‘s obviously a disconnect here

For some reason, lay people in any field are very disconnected from the fundamental principles thatscience has given us to cut through the bullshit.

Look at some of the most notorious industries with alarge science-lay person gap: diet and fitness, sports, business, psychology.

People who read the research know what‘s going on anddon‘t make stupid mistakes like buying their 45th diet book thinking it‘ll provide some different―groundbreaking research‖ to help you not be a fat.

And now that i‘ve made the mistake more thanonce I notice this everywhere. Every time I hang out with inexperienced entrepreneurslike myself I notice that very, very few can answer thisone foundational question: does anyone truly needor want what you do? what problem do you solveand how are you different?

http://milkthepigeon.com/2012/03/21/how-i-failed-miserably-at-creating-a-side-business-to-travel-the-world/






On an almost daily basis I see young 20 somethings,parents, friends and family almost always get into thesame couple of businesses and make the same couplemistakes:

―Yoga‖ anything (teacher/studio/sexual healer/etc.)

Martial arts teacher/studio

Life coach

Any kind of artist

Personal trainer

And they‘re all for the wrong reasons. They start those businesses because they want to. They start with theirown skills and passions and interests because, well, itsounds logical. It‘s just ―what you do‖ when you want to

start a business, right? And because they start with what they want, they neglectthe iron law of the market . Neglecting this basic pre-requisite for a thriving

business causes most of these people to fail toever create sustainable businesses that pay themenough. Period.

For new entrepreneurs…

My one piece of advice (from experience, or rather,failure) would be this: don’t start with your passion. Don‘t compile lists of your strengths and your skills.Don‘t compile your previous work experience. Don‘tcompile books of things you would love to do.

http://book.personalmba.com/iron-law-of-the-market/





Those need to come second to figuring out what otherpeople want.. and they definitely don’t want another karate studio. Please god, not anotherkarate studio or life coach..

Why You Should Stop Calling Yourself an Entrepreneur


―Just do it.‖ -Nike

Calling yourself an entrepreneur is the mysterious,

badass, and respectable thing to do these days. You

meet someone at a cafe and they ask,―So, what do you do?‖ You respond, ―I‘m an entrepreneur.‖

Suddenly in their head they go ―Whoaaaaaaaaaa,‖ whichis just the effect you were aiming for.

But unless you are chatting up 17 year old girls, theperson you are talking to will probably be thinking this,―So basically you live with your mom?‖

Stop being an entrepreneur

I was in a bar last weekend and I introduced a guy Ididn‘t know very well to a group of friends.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/11/20/why-you-should-stop-calling-yourself-an-entrepreneur/#comments











One person asked, ―So what do you do?‖ (Thatnotorious, cornering bitch of a question).

He said, ―I‘m an entrepreneur, of sorts. I just haven‘tmade it big yet.‖

Regardless of what she thought, I almost laughed outloud. And then I realized that calling yourself anentrepreneur sometimes is a clear indicator that you live with your mom and spend more time dreaming than working.

Almost all real entrepreneurs I‘ve ev er met will say what business they own or will answer something that actually is descriptive of what they do. And something in their words embodies the actualdescription of an entrepreneur, which in case you forgot,is the following:

en·tre·pre·neur ―a person who organizes and manages any enterprise, especially a business,

usually with considerable initiative and risk.‖ Unless you are running something and unless there isserious financial risk, you are not an entrepreneur. Saying you‘re an entrepreneur does not make peopleinstantly admire you (except for the aforementionedteenagers).

Saying you‘re an entrepreneur does not make people believe you own a business.

Saying you‘re an entrepreneur does not mean you‘resome world traveling, multiple passport owning, swiss bank account using Jason Bourne.



Saying you‘re an entrepreneur does not make peopleassume you are going to make it big one day via a silicon valley deal.

If you ask real entrepreneurs what they do, they‘ll tell you what they do. Not what they intend to do. And thatis the single biggest difference.

Next time you meet a wannabe entrepreneur (probably a20 something living in his parents‘ house) that gives his job description as ―entrepreneur‖, begin violently

giggling like a schoolgirl and excuse yourself.

You‘ll live longer for it. And it‘ll be your reminder to get back to work on makin‘ history. So stop calling yourself an entrepreneur and just be on.The rest is unimportant.

Young Millionaires and The Flawed Logic of a Million

Dollar Ideaby AL EX AN DE R HE YNE · 2 COMMENTS

This must be the era of the Entrepreneur with a capital

E.






http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/09/young-millionaires-and-the-flawed-logic-of-a-million-dollar-idea/#comments



http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Entrepreneur-mag.jpg






It seems like every day the news is filled with stories of people under 25 selling companies for 1 million +dollars.

What‘s the deal here? Most of these companies orprojects I have never even heard of it. There‘s obviously a ton of money out there, but I wondered what traitsthese kids shared other than the obvious ones.

We usually associate the success of theseentrepreneurial ideas to the ideas themselves.

―Oh man I just got the sickest idea..‖

―The Million dollar idea that comes to you in theshower..‖

Or the entire show called What‘s the Big Idea.But honestly I don‘t think it‘s the ideas that make the

million.

In fact this is a post inviting you to think about the realattributes of success, and to move your thinking away from the ―million dollar idea‖ kind of thinking.

Because the idea is not what makes you a milliondollars. Decent ideas with a million times the work,

testing, and tweaking make you a million dollars.

myYearbook

http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/myyearbook.jpg



Just this morning there was a news report on twosiblings that created (another) social network calledmyYearbook.

In the interview, Catherine Cook said that she and her brother were at a new school and realized that they didn‘t have very many friends, so they wanted toestablish a network for friends at their new school.

Long story short, they ended up expanding to theirfriends and eventually schools – selling the company for

$100 million.

New idea? Not really, but it caught on.

Modcloth

Modcloth was started by a girl named Susan Gregg atage 17 who had a stuffed closet of vintage clothes and was taking off to college, so she opened an online

boutique to sell them.

In august 2010 when the article was posted onEntrepreneur.com Modcloth was predicting $50 millionin annual sales.Not bad, right?

http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/217183



http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Modcloth.png





Bear Naked

Bear Naked was actually started by two young in- betweeners right in the area where I live.

The story goes that Kelly Flatley and Brendan Synnott were making healthy granola in their kitchen becausethey were tired of all the chemically-infested onesalready in existence.

So they came up with a plan, began small selling at fairs,and eventually got into larger stores like Stew Leonard‘s.

2007′s projected sales were $25 million.

On Million-Dollar Ideas

The above three companies are just examples of little-known money makers that didn‘t take on extremely new

ideas.

myYearbook? Facebook, Myspace.

Modcloth? Zappos

Bear Naked? Clif bars ($150 million annually)

One thing worth noting is that my comparisoncompanies above do not occupy the same niche.

http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Bear-naked.jpg



They occupy similar niches, but are positionedimportantly.

Nonetheless, these three companies above are making aton of money.Not revolutionary ideas. Not entirely new. But definitely million + dollar ideas.

Cease the Incessant Dependence onIdeas; Do Something.

You may hate me or disagree here: but ideas aren‘t thekey feature of million-dollar projects. Not even close.

Sometimes there‘s a new invention that comes on tv thatmade someone a near-instant millionaire. But those arethe exceptions – we only assume they are common because we are a get rich quick obsessed society thatfawns over that kind of information and circulates it

widely.Stop assuming that it just takes your ―million-dollaridea‖ and start something small and get to work.Immediately.

An awesome guide I can recommend regarding getting aproject started immediately is via a recent post on TimFerris‘ Site: how to create a million dollar business. But the truth is that there is a shit ton of money outthere and you don‘t need a million-dollar idea to make amillion dollars. Very few people I know that started successful businesses started off with ―genius ideas‖ – theirproduct, service, or offering morphed and developedover time.

http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/2011/09/24/how-to-create-a-million-dollar-business-this-weekend-examples-appsumo-mint-chihuahuas/






Like Instagram, the beginning was much different fromthe end, and the entire million dollar story was in thestory – the execution – itself

Stand Out Like a Champ: Being a Weirdo 101


The other day I went to one of my favorite people

watching spots: Starbucks.Now, Starbucks is different from other coffee shops because it doesn‘t just attract weirdos like your normalindie coffee shop. Starbucks also attracts trophy wives,middle school girls, work-at-home dads, and theaforementioned weirdos.This one guy walks up to the counter, ―I‘ll have a tall black coffee please,‖ he says. Respectable enough.Normal. Expected.

And then another guy walked up. The Starbucksemployee goes:

―Welcome to Starbucks, what can I get you?‖

Weirdo: ―Ohhhhhhh my god do you guys have that new cool little coffee thingy machine?‖

Employee: ―Uhhhh‖

Weirdo: ―Cool!! I‘ll have a coffee can I used my giftcard?‖

http://www.inc.com/eric-markowitz/life-and-times-of-instagram-the-complete-original-story.html



http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/22/stand-out-like-a-champ-being-a-weirdo-101/#comments



http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/starbucks-logo.jpg






Employee: ―This is a circuit city gift card, sir.‖

Weirdo: ―What? Why wouldn‘t you take this?‖

Employee: ―What do you mean? -.- ‖

Weirdo: ―Ok I‘ll have one of those cute little cakes too. And some mints. And OHHHH this little thing.‖

And the conversation went painfully on for way too long.

After I laughed to myself for a while, I casually thoughtabout what makes some people stand out and becomememorable while others are invisible. Here are some revelations from my short Starbuckssession, on standing out:

1. Be a weirdo

Being weird is a funny thing, because weird can be bothgood and bad. You can be weird in a creeper stalker way, or weird in that idiosyncratic kinda dorky genuine way.But either way, weirdos always have some undertone of lower self confidence to them. Standing out for a weirdo just means doing something so off the wall that people

will definitely give you attention, but it‘s not guaranteedto be attention you necessarily want.

For example, an employee at Whole Foods asks how youare when you are checking out (they are required to),and you reply 2 ways:

1. Fine, thanks.









2. OMG SOOOO FANTASTIC I just had this yogasession.. blah blah

You definitely are a weirdo answering like number 2.It‘s just not expected. You‘ll be memorable but it‘s up tothe person interpreting it whether or not you‘rememorable in a good or bad way.

Business tool? Do something totally off the wall. Makesomething like a Furby, Tickle-me-elmo, ass-less chaps,or chicken diapers.

2. Use an Accent

Sometimes when friends and I get bored we play theaccent game. Along the lines of ordering coffee, I wasonce in a Starbucks in New York and had an accent when I ordered.

This old guy interrupted me while I was paying and said:―Wow that‘s an incredible accent you have there, whereare you from, Norway?‖

Norway? Are you fucking mad? [ It was Australian ]:―Uhh no sir, I‘m American.‖

Old guy now hitting on me: ―Wow, that‘s fascinating.

You‘re an interesting young lad!‖

Business tool? Take a slight spin on somethingalready there. A dust pan with prongs so you can scrapethe broom, a power outlet that can be molded andshaped, a utensil holder from a washing machine put in women‘s purses (All have been multi-million dollarideas).






3. Be Ridiculous

One time my boss asked if I could pick up a coffee forher. I hope she reads this so she knows how insane I

must‘ve looked ordering it, being a straight guy:

Double mocha, caffa-lappa-frappa soy milk 4sugars half decaf half regular whipped creamorganic non-fat 195 degrees. (The 195 degrees was just for confirmation, mind you)Naturally, the people at Starbucks found it entirely normal (Stepford wives was filmed in my area, thatshould tell you something), but I was mortified andprobably lost any respect I had after writing how to be a badass for business men. Business tool? Be so niche-specific that anyone whoisn‘t familiar with your niche would laugh. Like dressing up as a smurf and dancing to NumaNuma? Perfect. Make a fan club.

Enjoy combing your Trolls‘ hair? Excellent. (Need areminder?) Blog it.Have a fascination with the mating habits of Monarch butterflies? No one cares. But seriously, it‘s specificenough that you can get a highly targeted, pre-qualifiedaudience that is ready to buy something from you (or atleast be interested).

Respect comes more quickly in a niche, as doesestablishing pseudo-authority.

Strange World

We live in an exceedingly strange world, full of people who ended up where they are due to extremely unusualcircumstances.




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o



http://www.google.com/imgres?q=trolls&hl=en&sa=X&biw=1217&bih=601&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=OYexWCKsiKkj2M:&imgrefurl=http://screenrant.com/trolls-dolls-movie-dreamworks-ross-65745/&docid=jKNGpaTR4b6OaM&imgurl=http://cdn.screenrant.com/wp-content/uploads/Trolls-dolls-animated-movie.jpg&w=500&h=375&ei=s0mjTt-bN8bY0QHzirnNBA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=547&vpy=175&dur=630&hovh=194&hovw=259&tx=104&ty=102&sig=105401068739248709786&page=1&tbnh=113&tbnw=147&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:4,s:0




http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/10/04/weird-circumstances/
















Maybe some people act weird just to stand out and bememorable, while others do it because they are… well.. just weird.But at some point you have to see it like this: at the endof the day, the Starbucks employee is not going toremember very many of the 500 faces she served coffeeto today.

Is your face going to be one of them?

Weird Circumstances


We‘ve got a cleaning lady from Poland who has beencoming to our house every Tuesday for pretty much adecade.

Weird Circumstances

The funny thing is, I don‘t remember her English havinggotten any better in the past 10 years. From day 1 untilnow, day 3,650, her English doesn‘t seem to haveimproved.

Now how is that possible?

She lives in an English speaking country, she interacts with the people she works for on a daily basis





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(depending on the hour), and she has children going toschool, so she must have some sort of teacher / parent /playdate interaction. What gives?

Does she possess the ―adult flaw‖ and, almost by default,suck at learning languages?

Or does she just have a brain not properly equipped topick up languages?

Or are the circumstances working against her?Inquiry

In my life I‘ve met both children and adults (surprise!)that pick up languages pretty quickly. And I don‘t think they are anything special, or have agift, or are rapid learners or whatever other bullshit you want to inoculate your mind with.

Half of their learning equation is that they are speciallearners. The other half is that they have uniquecircumstances, not abilities.

The answer to the first part is that they are (should Ireveal this secret for free or write an ebook?) mindful

learners. I‘ve written a whole assload about this before in a threepart series, about accelerated learning and picking upany skill 2x as fast in half in the time. The first part isabout deliberate practice, the second part is aboutavoiding automation and the third part about being a badass via mastering intent. Learning, in fact, is not what we‘re gonna talk about

here. This is about the weird circumstances that



























contribute to our success or failure, and the sometimesunpredictable ways in which we reach thosecircumstances and they influence our life.

Seeds N Stuff

Okay, so you‘ve got an acorn. It becomes an oak tree,right? Guaranteed. There is no other possibility, because that is the genetic makeup of the seed. And the fact that it‘s an oak will determine how big itgrows, the leaf shape, the water preferences, and the

hardiness of the tree.

And now you. What if certain facets of your life areplanting seeds without your knowing?

What if something time-sensitive like puberty changes your entire life course?

What if the natural tendency for you to do something, ornot do something, ultimately paves the way for yourfuture?

And what if you have no idea that this is all occurring inthe background of your life?

I think you‘ll see, soon enough, that the strangest thingsinfluence our life path and we are totally unaware of them.

Who woulda thunk?

Some fun examples:

Jimmy the ADD Kid



Jimmy has a little bit more energy than other kids. Sohis mommy takes him to get tested at the doctor. ―Yep,he has ADD. Your kid is going to need some more work and attention and a longer time to take tests. And maybedrugs to help treat it.‖

So his mommy relays a censored version of this to herson. Jimmy learns that he‘s special, and thus startsacting special. He dumbs himself down because theexpectation of himself has been lowered.

Plus his mommy doesn‘t expect much from him, so sheenrolls him in classes that reinforce his self-image as―slow‖ and needing extra help.

Nora the Cleaning Lady

Nora the cleaning lady comes from Russia and works 6days a week cleaning houses. Half of her work day is in

empty houses while the clients are at work, so she gotinto the habit of singing in her head and talking toherself, to help the time pass.

Sometimes when the clients are home she still is zonedoff in her own little world. People wonder why herEnglish hasn‘t improved in 10 years, so they subtlety sneak into another room while she works to avoid

awkward conversation.

Johnny, the Nerd

Johnny was always smaller than the other kids. He wasshorter, scrawnier, and underweight for his age.



As a result, he shied away from sports because he wasafraid of constantly getting hurt all the time by the much bigger kids.

He started getting into video games because he foundsolace in the fact that they were a safe place where hecould have some fun and could de velop skills that didn‘trely on his small size.

He eventually ended up spending so much time on thecomputer that he got pretty good at what he did, and

ended up studying computer science in college.

What now?

These three stories seem like pretty nebulous, unrelatedad-libs that a nine year old could come up with.

The Butterfly Effect

But going back to the cleaning lady (the real one, that visits my house weekly), people have the strangest lifepaths determined by factors that are impossible to seeproactively.

They can only be determined through hindsight as a―possible‖ contributor to where the person is now.

http://milkthepigeon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Butterfly-effect.png



It‘s like Steve Jobs said in his commencement speech – you can‘t see how the pieces connect looking forward,only by looking back and saying ―Aha!‖

There‘s a butterfly effect going on – a minuscule changein the initial circumstances produces this unreasonably large and varied result.

This is my largest argument against people who say to―never do things just for the sake of doing them.‖

Don‘t go travel just for the sake of travel. Don‘t moveacross the world to study with Shamans in Peru. Ordrink tea in Japan. Or study kung fu in China.

People tell you they aren‘t useful.

But the truth is not that they aren‘t useful. The truth isthat the pieces connect in other ways you can‘t see yet,

and that experiencing things ―just for shits and giggles‖is one of the best things you can do for your futurepossibilities.

What about your cleaning lady?

So what does all this have to do with a cleaning lady?

There are a multitude of circumstances that haveprogrammed her to be the way she is. We are, whetheror not you like it, programmed by life.

We are machines in one sense.

But the same reason why she seemingly hasn‘t improvedher English is the same reason why one kid may become

a track star, and another will become a computer nerd.



The circumstances, ultimately, are myriad, varied, andunusual. The seeds are so many that it‘s impossible tohone in on the atypical ones and cull them.

So the next time you try to figure out why someone canor can‘t do something, or why someone is successful oranother is just plain strange.. just say to yourself:

Weird Circumstances. And don‘t try to understand them. Because they are justprograms, like you and me.

Creating a Conversation Worthy Life


Maybe it was yesterday, or today, or will be tomorrow.

But at some point you‘ll get tired of living a mediocrelife, about a whole lot of nothing, filled withtons of work with no inherent purpose. Regardless of when that time hits (it always does), hereare some suggestions for how to make your lifeconversation-worthy.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/09/14/milk-the-pigeons-rules-for-creating-a-conversation-worthy-life/#comments

















I will try to avoid the obvious suggestions, but somepoints are so painstakingly obvious that they areoverlooked unless repeated.

This list is a quest for each person to ask themselves: Will anyone give a shit if I die? What willthey remember about me?

1. Be a story teller ―No storyteller has ever been able to dream up

anything as fantastically unlikely as what really doeshappen in this mad Universe.‖

-Lazarus Long

Everyone has experienced being in the presence of amaster storyteller: Time freezes for those 5, 10, or 15minutes. It was like you were transported into theaction, your heart rate elevates, your palms sweat alittle, and if someone interrupts the story you go allspider monkey on their ass.

Storytelling is one of the oldest traditions of humanity.It is an incredibly powerful way to captivate people and

want to have them hear more from you. Jot down acouple of your best memories or stories and pass themon at social gatherings.

2. Do something you enjoy ―They may forget what you said, but they will never

forget how you made them feel.‖

-Carl Buechner

A conversation-worthy life is born from

something worth talking about. If there is nothingspecial in your life — your job, your girlfriend, your

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/08/09/when-in-doubt-write-your-own-eulogy/



http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/08/25/is-your-dream-worth-1000000/





aspirations, your day to day schedule, your hobbies…then you obviously have nothing to talk about.That makes it pretty hard to to stimulate conversation.Plus, people can see it in your eyes when you talk aboutsomething you‘re passionate about. It‘s contagious.

3. Learn to speak to the inner child ―The most sophisticated people I know – inside they are

all children. ‖ -Jim Henson

Ever wonder why ―pursue your dreams‖ has become oneof those severely overused sayings?

I think it‘s because it connects with an ancient, originalpart of our character – the child who is unrestricted inhis thinking, dreaming, and daily activities. Do you evertell a child not to start a lemonade stand because she‘llnever make big bucks off it?

Hell no! You‘re a real bastard if you do!

I‘ve found a surprising truth out about people (nomatter the age): if you ask them about their originaldreams, their singular purpose and passion in life, you‘ll begin to see a spark in their eye you may never haveseen before.

4. Do something incredible, stand for something

incredible, or challenge something incredible ―As long as you‘re going to be thinking anyway, think

big.‖ -Donald Trump



There are clear other ways to stand out too. Dosomething incredible — invent the next iPhone of ourtime. Stand for something incredible — be the Ghandiof our time. Or challenge our notions of something wealready think is incredible or a given — be theCopernicus of our time.

5. Be really, really useful to others ―The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the

service of others.‖ -Mahatma Gandhi

A sad fact of the world is that people who often get tothat wealthy, successful, famous stage forget to come back down and help others.

In Buddhism, a Bodhisattva is a being who has reachedenlightenment but doesn‘t fly out and say what up togod — instead, it stays and helps others.

Now that’s cool.I sometimes feel like success is found in concentriccircles – people around the same level of achievementfind each other and bind together, but rarely interact with the lower echelons. Think about ripples in a pond.There is a ripple that grows equally on all sides, but isdisconnected from the future smaller circles.

Instead, the people in the new, smaller circle eventually find each other until they once again can grow into alarger ripple in a pond.

You‘d be one hell of a decent person if you broke thatcycle and helped others get to where you are.

Mind-blowing content alone definitely does

not guarantee people will find you. A sad truth.

http://milkthepigeon.com/2011/09/10/lessons-i-learned-meditating-in-the-sahara-desert/







So one of the key ways to be remarkably unique is, in themidst of fame, never to forget about the small guy.

6. If you aren’t inherently memorable, hang out withmemorable people ―People never improve unless they look to some

standard or example higher and better thanthemselves.‖

-Tyron Edwards

Some people think they aren‘t very interesting or don‘t

have anything interesting to talk about. That may ormay not be true.

However, hanging around people often lets you bringout stories you may never knew you had, goals peoplenever knew about, or re-kindle old hobbies. Everyonehas gems you never knew about before.

7. Read as much as you can, about everything ―To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantagewhich gives a view over wide terrains of history,

human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruitsof many inquiries.‖

-A.C. Grayling

There is something really qualitatively differentabout talking to someone who reads a lot. I‘m notnecessarily talking about news, although that counts, but information. Someone who is varied in theirinterests: a reader of philosophy, fiction, business, kungfu, tea.It is one of my greatest pleasures in life to sit down to aglass of [ tea, coffee, wine ] and talk with someone who

has a lot of varied interests. I don‘t know why







conversations are so inherently fun. Maybe because youquestion a lot of previous assumptions? Or maybe it‘s because life is fresh for a moment as you considersomething new.

Anyway, you‘ll definitely remember the guy who tells you: ―Hey did you know that barnacles have the largestpenis of any animal, relative to their size?‖ Yup, he‘s akeeper!

8. Do first, share later, and never reveal all your

secrets ―If you don‘t like the way the world is, you change it.

You have an obligation to change it. You just do it onestep at a time.‖

-Marian Wright Edelman

This one‘s killer. A lot of people I tend to look up toare those who have accomplished things and nevermentioned them. ―Whaaaaaat, I never knew you ran a marathon?!‖

―No way, you had 15 gerbils as a kid?‖

―You once saved a unicorn from a freak gasoline fightaccident?‖

Amazing! It‘s not news to anyone that people who walk their talk command way more respect than mostother people. And the walk does the talking for you.So what about your secrets? It works the same way asintrigue in dating. Never let everyone get all your goodsat the start, keep them guessing and you‘ll have aclinger. Be mysterious or deliberately vague. Frustrate

people but be playful.








9. Be diversified and a connector ―Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.‖

-Helen Keller

I‘m guilty here, the first time I read about beingdiversified rather than a specialist, Ithought: Bullshit! I want to be famous for just onething and one thing only. Keep my life simple,straightforward, uncomplicated. Well guess what, that’s boring as hell. In TheTipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell talks about connectors

(ya know, those socialites that know everyone). One of their key characteristics? Varied hobbies, pursuits, andlocales they frequent.Be varied. It‘s better for you, your ability to beconversation-worthy, and for your ability to break freefrom boredom.

10. Be Playful ―Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious,

but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.‖

-Tom Robbins

This consistently ranks pretty high on the ―qualities

loved in a significant other‖ list. Why?

Playful people are more fun, more adventurous, morespontaneous, more varied, more open to change, more willing to laugh, more likely to try new things.

Why wouldn‘t you want that?

11. Have a sales pitch in life < your story >



―Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.‖ -John barth

It‘s always kind of cool when you meet someone with areal underlying theme to their life. ―Ever since I witnessed how awful my parents were, I‘vededicated my life to saving kids from child abuse.‖

―I was born into a wealthy family where I didn‘t have to worry about much and had the free time to pursue whatI loved. I hope I can pass that on and do the same for

others — be a benefactor to humanity.‖

―My parents w ere divorced four or five times, and I wasmoving to new countries every few months throughoutmy childhood. All I want is to find one guy I really loveand be the best mother I can to a couple amazing kids.‖ People like stories. But even more, we like the justification behind things, especially if it‘s a story

because it makes us seem human.

12. Have a code of honor ―Get beyond love and grief: exist for the good of Man.‖

-Miyamoto Musashi

There‘s a book called Dokkodo written by MiyamotoMusashi (the greatest swordsman that ever lived).

His book literally translates to ―the way of walkingalone‖ or ―the path of aloneness.‖ It is his own personalcode of honor that he wrote just before his death.

Why have a code of honor? It reinforces to others that you have principles your life is based upon. It shows

that you have your head together. And it makes youseem like a badass. You are respectable.







Some of Musashi‘s personal statements are as follows:

#4. Think lightly of yourself, and deeply of the world.

#11. In all things have no preferences.

#17. Do not fear death.

#19. Respect Buddha and the gods without counting ontheir help.

#20. You may abandon your own body but you mustpreserve your honor.

#21. Never stray from the Way.

13. Get your shit straight (Be a simple [wo]man) ―The world makes way for the man who knows where

he is going.‖

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

That‘s not a question. That‘s a statement. Always try to be a better person: more cultivated, stronger, wiser,more business-smart, more generous, more passionate,more willing to help others.

Also try to be less: simplify your life in the truest sensepossible. Narrow your life purpose to just three things. A hobby, your passion/work, and your family. Be largein your thinking but small in your desire.

Know what you want every day of your life. If one day you wake up and things feel off, change it. Ever metsomeone who always knows exactly what they want from

life?



The whole universe makes way for that person.

Creating a Conversation Worthy Life


Maybe it was yesterday, or today, or will be tomorrow.

But at some point you‘ll get tired of living a mediocrelife, about a whole lot of nothing, filled withtons of work with no inherent purpose.

Regardless of when that time hits (it always does), hereare some suggestions for how to make your lifeconversation-worthy.

I will try to avoid the obvious suggestions, but somepoints are so painstakingly obvious that they areoverlooked unless repeated.

This list is a quest for each person to ask themselves: Will anyone give a shit if I die? What willthey remember about me?

1. Be a story teller ―No storyteller has ever been able to dream up

anything as fantastically unlikely as what really doeshappen in this mad Universe.‖

-Lazarus Long






















Everyone has experienced being in the presence of amaster storyteller: Time freezes for those 5, 10, or 15minutes. It was like you were transported into theaction, your heart rate elevates, your palms sweat alittle, and if someone interrupts the story you go allspider monkey on their ass.

Storytelling is one of the oldest traditions of humanity.It is an incredibly powerful way to captivate people and

want to have them hear more from you. Jot down acouple of your best memories or stories and pass them

on at social gatherings.

2. Do something you enjoy

―They may forget what you said, but they will neverforget how you made them feel.‖

-Carl Buechner

A conversation-worthy life is born fromsomething worth talking about. If there is nothingspecial in your life — your job, your girlfriend, youraspirations, your day to day schedule, your hobbies…then you obviously have nothing to talk about.That makes it pretty hard to to stimulate conversation.Plus, people can see it in your eyes when you talk about

something you‘re passionate about. It‘s contagious.

3. Learn to speak to the inner child ―The most sophisticated people I know – inside they are

all children. ‖ -Jim Henson

Ever wonder why ―pursue your dreams‖ has become oneof those severely overused sayings?





I think it‘s because it connects with an ancient, originalpart of our character – the child who is unrestricted inhis thinking, dreaming, and daily activities. Do you evertell a child not to start a lemonade stand because she‘llnever make big bucks off it?

Hell no! You‘re a real bastard if you do!

I‘ve found a surprising truth out about people (nomatter the age): if you ask them about their originaldreams, their singular purpose and passion in life, you‘ll

begin to see a spark in their eye you may never haveseen before.

4. Do something incredible, stand for something

incredible, or challenge something incredible ―As long as you‘re going to be thinking anyway, think

big.‖ -Donald Trump

There are clear other ways to stand out too. Dosomething incredible — invent the next iPhone of ourtime. Stand for something incredible — be the Ghandiof our time. Or challenge our notions of something wealready think is incredible or a given — be theCopernicus of our time.

5. Be really, really useful to others ―The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the

service of others.‖ -Mahatma Gandhi

A sad fact of the world is that people who often get tothat wealthy, successful, famous stage forget to come

back down and help others.



In Buddhism, a Bodhisattva is a being who has reachedenlightenment but doesn‘t fly out and say what up togod — instead, it stays and helps others.Now that’s cool.I sometimes feel like success is found in concentriccircles – people around the same level of achievementfind each other and bind together, but rarely interact with the lower echelons. Think about ripples in a pond.There is a ripple that grows equally on all sides, but isdisconnected from the future smaller circles.Instead, the people in the new, smaller circle eventually

find each other until they once again can grow into alarger ripple in a pond.

You‘d be one hell of a decent person if you broke thatcycle and helped others get to where you are.

Mind-blowing content alone definitely doesnot guarantee people will find you. A sad truth.

So one of the key ways to be remarkably unique is, in themidst of fame, never to forget about the small guy.

6. If you aren’t inherently memorable, hang out with

memorable people ―People never improve unless they look to some

standard or example higher and better than

themselves.‖ -Tyron Edwards

Some people think they aren‘t very interesting or don‘thave anything interesting to talk about. That may ormay not be true.

However, hanging around people often lets you bring

out stories you may never knew you had, goals people








never knew about, or re-kindle old hobbies. Everyonehas gems you never knew about before.

7. Read as much as you can, about everything ―To read is to fly: it is to soar to a point of vantagewhich gives a view over wide terrains of history,

human variety, ideas, shared experience and the fruitsof many inquiries.‖

-A.C. Grayling

There is something really qualitatively different

about talking to someone who reads a lot. I‘m notnecessarily talking about news, although that counts, but information. Someone who is varied in theirinterests: a reader of philosophy, fiction, business, kungfu, tea.It is one of my greatest pleasures in life to sit down to aglass of [ tea, coffee, wine ] and talk with someone whohas a lot of varied interests. I don‘t know why

conversations are so inherently fun. Maybe because youquestion a lot of previous assumptions? Or maybe it‘s because life is fresh for a moment as you considersomething new.

Anyway, you‘ll definitely remember the guy who tells you: ―Hey did you know that barnacles have the largest

penis of any animal, relative to their size?‖ Yup, he‘s akeeper!

8. Do first, share later, and never reveal all your

secrets ―If you don‘t like the way the world is, you change it.

You have an obligation to change it. You just do it onestep at a time.‖

-Marian Wright Edelman







This one‘s killer. A lot of people I tend to look up toare those who have accomplished things and nevermentioned them. ―Whaaaaaat, I never knew you ran a marathon?!‖

―No way, you had 15 gerbils as a kid?‖

―You once saved a unicorn from a freak gasoline fightaccident?‖

Amazing! It‘s not news to anyone that people who walk

their talk command way more respect than mostother people. And the walk does the talking for you.So what about your secrets? It works the same way asintrigue in dating. Never let everyone get all your goodsat the start, keep them guessing and you‘ll have aclinger. Be mysterious or deliberately vague. Frustratepeople but be playful.

9. Be diversified and a connector ―Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.‖

-Helen Keller

I‘m guilty here, the first time I read about beingdiversified rather than a specialist, Ithought: Bullshit! I want to be famous for just onething and one thing only. Keep my life simple,straightforward, uncomplicated. Well guess what, that’s boring as hell. In TheTipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell talks about connectors(ya know, those socialites that know everyone). One of their key characteristics? Varied hobbies, pursuits, andlocales they frequent.Be varied. It‘s better for you, your ability to be

conversation-worthy, and for your ability to break freefrom boredom.








10. Be Playful ―Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible, and cautious,

but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature.‖ -Tom Robbins

This consistently ranks pretty high on the ―qualitiesloved in a significant other‖ list. Why?

Playful people are more fun, more adventurous, more

spontaneous, more varied, more open to change, more willing to laugh, more likely to try new things.

Why wouldn‘t you want that?

11. Have a sales pitch in life < your story > ―Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.‖

-John barth

It‘s always kind of cool when you meet someone with areal underlying theme to their life. ―Ever since I witnessed how awful my parents were, I‘vededicated my life to saving kids from child abuse.‖

―I was born into a wealthy family where I didn‘t have to

worry about much and had the free time to pursue whatI loved. I hope I can pass that on and do the same forothers — be a benefactor to humanity.‖

―My parents were divorced four or five times, and I wasmoving to new countries every few months throughoutmy childhood. All I want is to find one guy I really loveand be the best mother I can to a couple amazing kids.‖







People like stories. But even more, we like the justification behind things, especially if it‘s a story because it makes us seem human.

12. Have a code of honor ―Get beyond love and grief: exist for the good of Man.‖

-Miyamoto Musashi

There‘s a book called Dokkodo written by MiyamotoMusashi (the greatest swordsman that ever lived).

His book literally translates to ―the way of walkingalone‖ or ―the path of aloneness.‖ It is his own personalcode of honor that he wrote just before his death.

Why have a code of honor? It reinforces to others that you have principles your life is based upon. It showsthat you have your head together. And it makes youseem like a badass. You are respectable.

Some of Musashi‘s personal statements are as follows:

#4. Think lightly of yourself, and deeply of the world.

#11. In all things have no preferences.

#17. Do not fear death.

#19. Respect Buddha and the gods without counting ontheir help.

#20. You may abandon your own body but you mustpreserve your honor.

#21. Never stray from the Way.

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