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OnlineDating101:

StrategiesforWinning,TrustingGod,andNoticingOurHearts

MargotStarbuck@margotstarbuck.com

3PracticalTakeaways:

1. Practically,strategiesforsmartonlinedatingwillhelpyousucceed.2. Theologically,youarealreadybelovedandGodiswithyouandforyouonthisjourney.3. Emotionally,theSpirithelpsusnoticethepartsofourheartsthatGodishealing.

Here’swhatI’dlovetodowithourtimetogether:

1. First,we’lllookatthePRACTICALstrategiestowinatonlinedating.2. Second,we’llthinkaboutdatingTHEOLOGICALLY.3. Third,we’lllookatwhatgoesoninsideofusEMOTIONALLYonthisjourney.

I.PRACTICALSTRATEGIESFORDATING

1. SITESMyadvice:don’tjoin16sites.Maybe1,possibly2.That’senough.(askyourfriendswhat’sworkedforthem,andwhythelikedem)

2. PROFILEPICTURES

a. (1)Usequalitypicturesb. (2)Showyourfacec. (3)Showallofyou.d. (4)PostaVARIETYofphotos.e. (5)Postcurrentphotosf. (6)Considerwhatyourimagemightquietlybecommunicating.g. (7)Smile

3. PROFILENARRATIVEHerearetheelementsofawinningprofile:a. One,FINALremindertousephotosthatshowwhatmakesyouuniquelyyoub. Two,beunique.Here’showIcoachkidswritingcollegeapplicationessays:writeaprofile

thatnooneelsecouldwrite.c. Three:don’tsaytoolittle,don’tsaytoomuch.Keepitshortandsimple,1or2paragraphsis

enough.d. Keepitpositive.e. Putyourbestfootforward.f. Revealyourcharacter

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4. MESSAGING

a. First,lethimknowthatyounoticehim.b. Second,givehimanopportunitytonoticeyou.

Allthefirstmessageneedstodoislethimknowyouseehim,andlethimseeyou5. MEETING

a. Alwaysmeetinpublic.b. Alwaysarrangeyourowntransportation.c. Alwaysletafriendknowwhereyou’llbe.

6. BESTADVICEEVERActionsspeaklouderthanwords.

II.THEOLOGICALREFLECTIONSONDATINGIthinkeachoneofushasaTHEOLOGYOFDATING:howwebelieveGodisinvolvedinourhopetofindapartner.Proverbs18:22:amanwhofindsawifefindsagoodthing.Twowaystoreadthat:

a. One,findingaspouseisgood.Hooray!Godsmiles.Enjoy!b. Anotherwaytoreaditisthat:themandoesthehunting,andthewomangetsfound

WhenIlookatScriptures,wheneverGodisuptosomething,Heseemstopartnerwithhumanbeings.

1. FINDINGFAITH

Therearemenoffaithonthesesites.Theyareoutthere!(Butlookformorethanthemanwhojustchecksthe“Christian”box)

2. TAKINGABREAK

Practicetakinga“Sabbath”restfromtheapps:1dayaweek,before6pm,orevenawholemonth.

3. TRUSTINGGODSomecouldsay(havesaid)thatusingadatingappisnottrustingthatGodwillprovide.Well,IwanttosuggestthatnotusingadatingappANDUSINGADATINGAPPbothrequireyoutotrustGod.Facts.Aprayertopray:God,isitmorefaithful,inthismoment,formetostepforward,stepback,orstayput?Godissohappytobeallupintheselittledecisions.

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III.EMOTIONALAWARENESSANDHEALINGINDATING(1)WearedrivenCONSCIOUSLYbywhatwevalue.

• He’safollowerofJesus.• He’sgotajob.• He’sgotadegree.• Heseemstobekind.• Helikestheoutdoors.

(2)Wearealsodriven,subconsciously,bywhatweDESIRE.Thisiskindofwhatwecallchemistry,thatspark.It’salittleprimal.Atsomelevel,we’renaturalattractedtothesetraitsthatlegitDOpreservethespecies.(3)WeareattractedunconsciouslytowhatweKNOW.Towhatwe’refamiliarwith.Inpsychology,it’scalled“thefamiliarityprinciple.”

• Thiswhywe’vegotthatfriendwhogrewupinanalcoholichomeandkeepschoosingguyswhodrinktoomuch.

• Ortheonewhowasabusedwhokeepschoosingguyswhomistreather.• Orwemeetsomeoneandsay,IfeellikeI’veknownhimforever

Margot’sUberdriverLensays:“We’reattractedtothepersonwhohasthequalitiesoftheparentwhogaveusthehardesttimegrowingup.Andourdeepinsidesaresaying,maybethistimeI’llgettheloveIneedandjustlydeserve.”Atthisdeeplevel,we’reattractedtowhatitisthatwe’veKNOWN.Sister,offerthisonetotheLord.Ihopeyou’lltakesometimethisweektojournalaboutthis.ItismyfirmconvictionthatitisGod’sGOODpleasuretoopenoureyestothewayswe’rebrokensothatHecanhealourhearts.SisterSupport…Don’tdothisdatingjourneywithoutthesupportofyourgirlfriends.Thesistercirclethatsupportsyouonyourdatingjourneydoesn’thavetobeyourage,theydon’thavetobesingle,theydon’thavetobeggeographicallylocal,theyjusthavetoloveyou.JointheSCWOD(SingleChristianWomenOnlineDating)Privatefacebookgroup:https://www.facebook.com/groups/498123144109621/ LASTTIP:Holdyourlistloosely.Goodguymightbeinsurprisingpackaging!!!SoaskGodtoopenyoureyes.Yougotthis!OrderyourcopyofTheGrownWoman’sGuidetoOnlineDating!