“LOVING OUR NEIGBOR”CW All-Church Retreat 2014

• Session 1 What Will the Neighbors Say?

—Getting off the Performance Track

• Session 2 The Crazy Neighbor —When People Try Your

Patience

• Session 3 Jumping the Neighbor’s Fence

—Getting to People Where They Live

• Session 4: Oh, That Neighbor! —Meeting the Hurting

with an Open Heart

Oh, That Neighbor! —Meeting the Hurting with an

Open HeartJohn 4:1-30

Pastor Frank Riley

Session 4 [Sunday Morning]All-Church Retreat 2014

The Cemetery – That mother

—You Must See the Hurt.

John 4:1-30

To Meet That Neighbor—You Must Understand Hurt Comes In

Layers

To Meet That Neighbor

Remember: it may have taken years for your friend to get into this mess;it may take some time to get out.

Remember: the presenting issue in your mind may not be the first issue or even the main issue.

If You Are that Neighbor, Trust the Intentions Even if the Results Have Hurt You.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them,

because they were harassed and helpless,

like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36

Assume Hurt and Assume Jesus Heart for the Hurting.

So, chosen by God for this new life of love,

dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you:

compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength,

discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second

place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly

and completely as the Master forgave you. And

regardless of what else you put on, wear love.

It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:12-14 (MSG)

Assume Defensiveness and Check Yours at the Door.

Remember you can return to the conversation.

Doesn’t have to happen all in one sitting.

Test the Spirit – where the spirit of the Lord is…there is Peace.

Ask yourself: Is this your word or God’s.

Speaking the Truth into Each Other

Don’t Chicken Out1. Go have the conversation2. Do you love them enough to

challenge them3. Do you love them enough to stay? Hit soft — then Hard — then Reaffirm.

Assume Obstacles And Check Your Route.

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune

with each other, in step with each other.

None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate

thankfulness. Let the Word of Chris—the Message—have the run of the

house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct

and direct one another using good common sense.

And sing, singyour hearts out to God! Let every

detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be

done in the name of the Master, Jesus,

thanking God the Father every step of the way.

Colossians 3:15-17 

Assume Obstacles And Check Your Route.

A Final WordStand your ground like an anvil under the hammer. A great athlete must suffer blows to conquer. And especially for God’s sake must we put up with everything, so that he will put up with us. Show more enthusiasm than you do. Mark the times. Be on the alert for him who is above time, the Timeless, the Unseen, the One who became visible for our sakes, who was beyond touch and passion, yet who for our sakes became subject to suffering, and endured everything for us.

— Ignatius to Polycarp 2nd Cent AD

APPLICATION QUESTIONS1. What are the risks and challenges of

bypassing the presenting issues before us in favor of seeking the deeper hurt?

2. Talk about a time when your intentions were right, but your actions caused hurt? Talk about a time when you had to forgive another while remembering their good intent?

3. How might such an approach to people change the sense of welcome and safety in a congregation?