listen to your life: your personalized plan to design an ... · identify limiting beliefs •how...

Listen To Your Life: Your Personalized Plan To

Design An Ideal Lifestyle

Copyright © 2012 Listen To Your Life Coaching. All Rights Reserved.

wwwListenToYourLife.com 919-439-5228 2

Joy, flow, fulfillment is our birthright!

• Abundance in every aspect of our lives is something we tap into not something we have to get, earn

• Key is to reinforce the kind of thinking, actions and being that put us in alignment

• Potentiality and responsibility - the acorn and the oak


Why even bother with “fulfillment”?

• Provides direction, meaning, and purpose for your life.

• Be more, do more, share more and ultimately have more from life.

• Focuses your energies on what’s most important.

• Gives meaning to all stages of life.

• Enjoy more time, balance and freedom.

• Minimizes uncertainty, anxiety, doubt and fear.

• Achieves the greatest results in the shortest period of time.

• Enhances your quality of life and overall peace of mind.


Teachers I’ve studied

• Thich Nhat Hahn

• Pema Chödrön

• Debbie Ford

• Gangaji

• Jon Kabat-Zinn

• Byron Katie

• Elizabeth Lesser

• Dan Millman

• Jesus

• Abraham-Hicks

• Joan Borysenko

• Wayne Dyer

• Huston Smith

• Karen Armstrong

• Wayne Teasdale

• Eckhart Tolle

• Marianne Williamson

• Jack Canfield

• Mike Dooley

• Hale Dwoskin

• Lisa Nichols

• Bob Proctor

• Marci Shimoff

• Neale Donald Walsh

• Marcus Borg

• Deepak Chopra

• Marcia Weider

No new information; just different presentations of same fundamental truths in different contexts…


Transcend & include

• Ken Wilber – “…transcend but include the ego in a deeper and higher embrace…use it as the necessary vehicle through which higher truths are communicated.”

• You are already whole - everyone has a unique 100%

• Not about right or wrong, but about choice, freedom, empowerment, impact

• Kindness toward ourselves precedes all genuine and lasting growth – it’s a sign that you are trusting the process


Insights evolved into a framework

We recreate the same experiences by maintaining unexamined beliefs, habitually thinking the same thoughts, doing the same things…

Deepen Self Awareness

Align Your Mind

Design Your Lifestyle

Fulfillment/Flow = Insight Into Action


1. Deepen Self-Awareness


Why is self-awareness important?

• Who are you NOW?

• Where are you NOW?

• Where are you going?

• How do you get there?

• What’s in the way?


Your Purpose

• Unique combination of desires placed in your heart for a reason

• Overarching, propelling energy

• Reason for being

• Point of focus for your life


Exercise#1: Your Purpose

• Envision your loved ones at your funeral and you “overhear” their conversations and inner-most thoughts.

– What would they be saying?

– What would you want them to say?

• Write 3-4 bullet sentences that would reflect your purpose on the planet during the time you are here.

Ellis Wilson's Funeral Procession


Your Vision

• How your purpose manifests

• Day-to-day being that supports your purpose

• Sets your GPS

• Specificity and clarity helps you shift out of auto-pilot and move into a more conscious, intentional way of living


Exercise#2: Your Vision

1. What’s your vision (ideal situation) in ONE area of your life. Wealth, Vocation, Health, Friendships, SO/Spouse, Family, Spirituality, Personal Growth, Physical Environment, Fun & Recreation

2. Describe in as much detail as possible how you will feel when you are living your vision.

3. What is it costing you to not take the necessary steps to live your vision?

4. How does your life NOT reflect your vision?


Your life reflects your commitments

• Are you committed vs. interested in your vision?

– “interested” = takes action when convenient

– “committed” = does whatever is necessary to make things happen

• What commitment(s) are reflected by the choices you are making in that area of your life?


Exercise#3: Commitments

1. Working with that ONE area, write down a specific goal that you’ve been so far unable to attain? Wealth, Vocation, Health, Friendships, Romance, Family, Spirituality, Personal Growth, Physical Environment, Fun & Recreation

2. Make a list of all the actions you have taken (or not taken) in the past year that are in direct opposition to this goal.

3. What underlying commitments might these actions or choices reveal?


Your commitments reflect your beliefs

• Conscious and unconscious beliefs influence your commitments

• Unexamined beliefs are what can limit your full commitment to your vision (missing piece that is causing resistance)

• We inherit beliefs and often don’t take the time to question them

— How are your beliefs serving or NOT serving your full expression in life today?

— What commitments need to be made or strengthened to support your VISION?

— What beliefs support those commitments?

• YOU CAN’T FORCE A COMMITMENT – MUST TRANSFORM THE UNDERLYING BELIEF!

BELIEFS Commitments Actions


“Until you accept the full magnitude of your

function, your unconscious mind will

sabotage any attempt to show your full

magnificence …you want a shift in your

belief about who and what you are.”

-- Marianne Williamson


Identify limiting beliefs

• How might your standards about “what” and “how” things should happen, be negatively affecting your ability to find your flow and make things happen?

• What self-defeating meanings have you created based on past failures with important goals? How do these meanings limit you and become barriers to goal setting?

• What persistent stories or mental scripts do you play over and over again in your head that disempower you? Are pessimistic?

• Do you hold onto any black and white philosophies that keep you passively stuck?

• What unnecessary assumptions do you make about achieving and committing to goals?

• What stereotypical beliefs or cultural myths are you allowing to hold you back?


Limiting beliefs usually based in fear

• Nothing wrong with fear…real fear is the body’s natural response to a threat

• Psychological fear creates sticky stories – getting “hooked”

• The problem isn't fear but our relationship to it

• Begin challenging fears – engage, appreciate your gremlin


Exercise#4: Beliefs

1. Identify ONE limiting belief revealed by your underlying commitment?

2. Is it true?

3. How do you feel when you believe that limiting belief?

4. Who would you be, how would you feel without that belief?

5. Turn that limiting belief around. What new belief would support your commitment to your vision?

6. What evidence do you have that new belief is true?


Integrating new beliefs

• Process takes time; no magic pill; practice

• Experiment with different ideas - what beliefs align with your purpose, vision

• Reinforce the new beliefs until your subconscious accepts it as true and integrates it.

• How? By aligning your mind…


Summary

• Self-awareness is the foundation of all growth

• Purpose & vision

• Committed vs. interested

• Identifying limiting beliefs

• Integrating new, supporting beliefs


2. Align your mind

• Beliefs are just thoughts reinforced over and over again

• The bridge between what we know and what we do is how we think.


Power of thoughts

• The source of your expansion and joy are (1) what you pay attention to and (2) your thoughts about it…

• Overwhelming majority of our thoughts patterns are habitual

• For lasting change internal shifts needed, not manipulating outer conditions

• Everything was first a thought before it was ever a thing – just like your life; everything starts with a thought (“SEED”)


Which thoughts are you planting?

Your Mind

What you focus on expands… • Negative Seeds

– Driven by fear & limiting beliefs

– Habitual

– Often don’t reflect current situation; focused on past or future

• Positive Seeds – Driven by love

– Feels good; in “flow”

– Reflects empowering beliefs

– Life-affirming, enriching

OR


Exercise#5: Awareness of thought

1. What thoughts do you habitually tell yourself that are limiting you or NOT supporting your commitment to your vision? WEEDS

2. What thoughts (new or existing) support your commitment to your vision? FLOWERS

3. How would you describe the quality of your

“garden”?


Grow flowers; starve weeds

• Identify when triggered (“hooked”)

– Gently notice how it feels different

• Recognize the seed

– Don’t fight the thoughts

• Practice redirecting attention

– Use a mantra, humor, curiosity, etc.

• Trigger & nurture positive seeds

– Expose yourself to and create experiences that trigger and nourish positive seeds


Summary

• Beliefs are just thoughts reinforced over and over again

• Paying attention to your thoughts is not an internal “gotcha game”; just a gentle awareness, curiosity that becomes habit

• Noticing & creating space around your thoughts gives you choice, power in ANY situation

• Key is to structure or design your life to support this way of being


3. Design Your Lifestyle


Turn insight into action…

• Immerse yourself in a renewed way of being

• Small, consistent movements to maintain momentum

– Only way to change course is one step at a time

• Daily activities add up

• Start with clearly defined goals driven by your vision


First, clear up unfinished business

• Creates space for new experiences to show up.

• Frees up/unblocks energy to make necessary changes.

• Creates a sense of peace, calmness and control.

• Find more time.

• Start feeling more productive with the time you have;

live more efficiently.

• Find more time to take new action, form new habits.


Exercise#6: Clearing space

• List all your unfinished projects that drain your energy or distract you in ANY way. – These may include cluttered closets, piles of papers, something that

needs fixing, something you need to say or write to someone, unkept promises, etc. Think about the stuff that just stays on your mind!

• How will you resolve and by when?


Setting goals

1. What goals support your vision?

2. What has to happen to move you closer to your vision?

3. Which goals are you most passionate about, stay on your mind?

4. What goals have others set to achieve what you want to achieve?


Exercise#7 – Top 2011 SMART goals

1. What exactly do I want to achieve (Specific)?

2. How will I know when I have achieved it (Measurable, include dates, etc.)

3. How do you know you are capable of achieving this goal (Achievable - give evidence to back it up)

4. How Realistic is this goal? (right timeframe? right measurement, etc.)

5. How long will it take me to reach this goal? What Time limit am I giving it?

For example: I will lose 20lbs by June 1st 2011 and I will know I am making progress because I will lose 4lbs a month for 5 months.


Goal mind mapping (helps to break down goals into bite-sized manageable steps)

GOAL


Exercise#8: Action steps

Goal Action Step Due Date

I will lose 20lbs by June 1st 2011. I will know I am making progress because I will lose 4lbs a month for 5 months.

Start AM exercise routine at Planet Fitness 1/15

Weigh myself and determine BMI 1/16

Establish diet of 80% whole foods 1/17


Habits/routines support action steps

• Habits ALWAYS deliver results, good or bad - e.g. working late, eating, keeping agreements, spending, gratitude, meditation, etc.

• Habits/routines either have a positive impact or a negative impact on your goal.

• Some habits/routines you engage in simply due to conditioning, as opposed to your preferred choice for how to behave.

• Oftentimes, habits/routines lead you into a vicious cycle of self-sabotage…pinpoint what this looks like and how it happens.

• Some things in your lifestyle simply drain you and give you little return on your investment.

• There are some behaviors that, if changed, would give you the most leverage toward achieving your goal.

"We are what we repeatedly do. EXCELLENCE, then, is not an act, but a HABIT.” -- Aristotle


Exercise#9: Aligning routines & habits

1. Which daily or weekly habits/routines are working for you and support your goals?

2. What routines/habits are limiting you?

3. What new habits could you engage in that would replace the old habits?

4. What new actions would give you the most leverage to achieve your goal, if you added them into your lifestyle?

5. When you look at other people who have already achieved a goal similar to yours, what behaviors do they seem to incorporate into their lives?


Could be as simple as simplifying…

• Do less. Say no to projects and meetings. Cut back on commitments

• Spend less. Shop less. Cut back on your bills. Eliminate debt; have less cards.

• Reduce clutter. Having less stuff requires less storage (even a smaller home) and is less stressful.

• Want to lose weight? Simplify your diet.

• Want to change a habit? Simplify the process: do just one habit at a time.

• Simplicity isn’t always easy. It requires the courage to say no. To make difficult decisions. To question the way we’ve always done things.


Accountability is critical!

• Social network

• Professional network

• Friends & family

• Individual Coaching

• Group Coaching

• Accountability Partner (AP) – weekly check ins


Accountability Partner Guide

1. Are you achieving the deadlines on your action items – if not, why not? Deadlines are there for a reason – to keep up momentum! Perhaps your deadlines were unrealistic or your time has been directed to other more urgent activities -- think about why so you can adjust your action plan.

2. Do you need to alter your action plan/ timeframe? Action plans need to be flexible enough to allow changes where necessary and to keep the plan’s relevant, but don’t change the goal posts too often – need to be realistic in the first place.

3. Is your level of resourcing (money, time, information, support) adequate? Is this holding you back from achieving your goal or do you find that you are really struggling? Don’t spread resources too thinly – extend the deadlines if you have too.

4. What do you need more of to achieve this goal? Identify any additional resource needs and where/ how you might find them.

5. Is this goal easier or harder than expected? Can you take on more, or do you need to take smaller steps?

6. Overall, are you happy with your progress? If you are, then great! If not, work out why and fix the problem.

7. What are you doing well towards this goal? Keep it up...

8. What do you need to do better to achieve this goal? … and do better!

9. Are you enjoying this goal, or at least excited about the end result? Reward yourself for making progress and milestones to keep you on your journey. Remember, the end result needs to be something you really want.

10. Have you been honest and ethical in your progress towards this goal? Your highly moral subconscious won’t let you achieve goals if they have unethical components or if you haven’t been honest with yourself. Is this holding you back?


Exercise#10: Lifestyle Design Action plan

Area of Life

2011 Goal (commitment)

Action Steps Empowering

Beliefs Supportive habits

& routines Accountability?

Health

I will lose 20lbs by June 1st 2011 and I will know I am making progress because I will lose 4lbs a month for 5 months.

• Start AM 30min exercise routine at Planet Fitness

• Weigh myself & determine BMI

• Establish diet of 80% whole foods – create cheat sheet

• I have the power to manage my health and feel vital

• I am able to stick to commitments

• Feeling healthy is MOST important to the quality of my life

• Exercise 30min Mon-Thurs at Planet Fitness while listening to uplifting music

• Pack my lunch the night before with mostly fruits, vegs, healthy snacks

• Weigh myself on Sunday eves

• Meet with AP each Sunday

• Share my goal with my family and ask for help

• Life coach • Meetup Group

members


What will it feel like when you get there?

Imagine that it is December 31, 2012 and you are looking back on the progress you have made...

• How would your life be different? If you made a difference in your health

for example, would that also have an impact on your family? Or job? If you

paid more attention to your life and turned insight into action more

consistently, what impact would that have in other areas of your life?


Be of service: give yourself away

• Sends a message to the Universe that you already have it!

• Reinforces your purpose; keeps it front of mind

• Keeps your vibration high, in your “flow”


Potential next steps

• Start establishing one new habit for the next 21 days

• Use workbook to work through each area of your life (block 2hrs to yourself outside of home)

• Set up call with your accountability partner


“We are being carried in a

net we cannot fall out of…”

-- Franciscan priest Richard Rohr

Take risks…


Q/A & Coaching Services

• Life Coaching Programs for individuals and groups

• Meetups

• Upcoming book “Joy Rising”

• Contact Sharon at [email protected], call 919-

439-5228 or visit www.ListenToYourLife.com for details.

http://www.listentoyourlife.com/programs--workshops.html



http://www.meetup.com/ListenToYourLife/

mailto:[email protected]

http://www.listentoyourlife.com/

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