8/12/2019 Letting Go of Pain

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The PMs left hookNo one would call PrimeMinister Manmohan Singha temperamental man. Pa-tience and low-key argu-ment seems to be his person-al style. So when he makessharp comments, we need tosit up and take notice.

Earlier this week, the ge-nial Singh reportedly asked the CPI nationalsecretary D Raja why the Leftists did not pull

down the UPA government once and for allinstead of issuing anti-government state-ments. The hapless Raja, who had gone topresent the grievances of university and col-lege lecturers, was reportedly taken aback.Now the Left parties plan to discuss this attheir meet next week.

It is possible to understand, if not actuallyagree with, the prime ministers uncharacter-istic outburst. The Left parties have beensnapping at the governments heels while verymuch being part of the UPA coalition from theoutside. This running with the hares, hunt-ing with the hounds attitude may suit them,but it must be frustrating for the UPA in gen-eral and the prime minister in particular.

Public criticism of the government onevery issue,whether it is diplomacy, econom-ic policy or reservations, may win the Left

brownie points with their constituency, butdoes not make for a good partnership.

But what is more interesting is the appar-ent change in Singhs persona. Just a fewdays before that, Singh was acerbic aboutcivic corruption and the land mafia inMumbai, strong statements from any primeminister. During a subsequent trip to Banga-lore to inaugurate a metro project, he point-edly asked whether the state government wasreally interested in development and then,

for good effect, made critical remarks aboutthe poor driving habits of his fellow Indians.Many have commented on Singh being a

good man but a wishy-washy prime minister.Many of his ministers constantly make com-ments out of turn and some of them, like Ar- jun Singh, have also been accused of pushingtheir own agendas, unmindful of the notion of collective Cabinet responsibility. Then there isthe long shadow of the Congress president,who is perceived to be the real power behindthe throne. The circumstances in which Singhbecame the prime minister and the duality of the power structure lend themselves to the in-terpretation that Singh is not his own man.Perhaps he has taken upon himself to showthat this is an unfair assessment.Whatever thereason, the new Singh is a welcome changeand can only be good for the nation.

Games people play Time to sing the Jamaicafarewell. Not because werequite likely to lose the fourthTest match against the WestIndies, but because therestoo much happening. There

just may not be time enoughto watch cricket. Sacrile-gious as the thought may be

in India, look at the odds stacked againstviewing a last and possibly dud Test match

between India and the West Indies: the great-est football spectacle in the world gets intothe end game. In addition, the most sublimetennis tournament in the world reaches its fi-nal stage. What price then a couple of runouts and bad captaining decisions againstsome Brazilian magic?

The fight for the remote is about to beginin our homes. Tonight its Germany versusArgentina, the efficient hosts playing SouthAmerican sorcerors. Our own Sania Mirza isout of Wimbledon alas but theres stillFederer, Mauresmo, Henin-Hardenne, Rod-dick, Agassi and Nadal to look forward to.Passing shots, backhand slices, serve and vol-ley, strawberries and cream, tradition on dis-play and history in the making.

Life is a spectator sport was a proverb of the 1970s, but television has ensured its truth

to great effect. Since satellite television tookover our lives,weve been exposed to a smor-gasbord of sporting events: Formula One,basketball, Moto GP, golf,football, tennis; thelist appears endless. India may not play inmost of these events but that matters little tothe Indian sports fan.

If the current hysteria over the soccerWorld Cup has proved anything, it has beenthat. Across homes, restaurants and bars,football has been the flavour of this month

and will be in the next too. Names hithertoknown only to the aficionado are now onevery lip. Little boys in slums are seen kick-ing a football around where a short while agothey would have been at the stumps.

This embarrassment of sports riches isa time for celebration then. The way is not tofight, but to give in. To fasten your fingerspeed on your remote so you can channel-hop seamlessly. To ensure that all the sportschannels are programmed next to each otherwith a news channel thrown in for goodmeasure. Perchance to even get another tele-vision set for different family members withdifferent needs.

It all comes to a head on July 9, when theWorld Cup final and the Wimbledon final willbe held. We will be watching both and soshould you.

Farrukh Dhondy

Some years ago the United Na-tions published a survey whichconcluded that Bangladesh wasthe second happiest nation in theworld. The article I read, verycarefully, didnt say how this con-clusion had been reached. I have,all my life, been searching for thishappiness formula and now scrap-py journalism had deprived me of it. What made the Bangladeshishappy? The typhoons, the floods,the fundamentalism, the sense of being free from India and Pak-istan? There was no hint. I wouldhave to look elsewhere.

Oh, I know in my heart of hearts that there is no answer butone doesnt stop looking. I haveeven thought I could turn myself into a quality-of-life guru by writ-ing a book about how to define hap-piness get happy by making id-iots buy my book. I started butstopped when I realised that I did-nt want to write that rubbish, I

want to have written it.And, just when Ifelt trapped in thisconundrum, a longcomes the Readers Digest with anotherposer. They conduct aworldwide survey onrude cities and cometo the conclusion thatMumbai is the rudestcity in the world. Thesame survey con-cludes that New Yorkis the least rude.

Again, the dilem-ma posed is: what arethe criteria? The rudeness reck-oning was done on the basis of five questions. They asked peoplein which city they were most andleast greeted by shop-assistantswith good morning and thankyou etc.

The last time I was in New Yorkand a shop assistant ended ourtransaction with Have a nice day,now, I pointedly replied that Iwas determined not to.She was anintelligent girl, and she asked mewhy. I said I wanted to have a pro-ductive day, a lucrative day, a dayfilled with love and other benefits,but not a nice day. She under-stood. But she was a new Yorkerand did she care?

The Digest survey continues byasking whether passengers onbuses and public transport in thecities it targets give up their seatsto old people and pregnantwomen. Anyone who has evertravelled on Mumbai buses or onthe local railway knows that thatslike asking the fish in a tsunami if they care for each other.

No, it wont do. Out of an im-pulse to defend Mumbai, I con-ducted my own survey of the crite-ria for rudeness.

Yes,I know its a dirty city, a dis-honest city, a violent, uncaring and

lonely city, a

smelly city, a cityof the uncaringrich and thescrambling poor,a city that hasgrown like a can-cer or a prize cu-cumber, depend-ing on your point of view, a city inwhich some guy who manufac-tures cement tiles is getting rich,acity in which one may pass morebouncing cheques than in Pragueon Pogo-Stick night, but it isnt es-sentially rude.

My search for the criteria of rudeness extended to my 12-year-old daughter and her friends. Go-ing further a-field would have pro-duced the sort of criteria that the Readers Digest already used.

I asked them:Whats rude?Belching, said one. Break-

ing wind, said the other. Beingnasty on the phone,said a third.

I delve into my memory to pro-nounce guilt on these select

counts. In the town inwhich I was bornthere was a fat greasyfellow wearing adhoti, who fried bha-

jias in a giant kadaiall day outside a caf.The bhajias were su-perlative and as chil-dren we queued tobuy packets of them.Our man would dis-pense the freshly-fried bhajias aftersampling them. Eachtime he ate some, he

belched in stentorian tone and ab-solved himself by intoning JaiShambho!

I got to believe that it was whatpolite people said after belchingloudly and put my understandinginto practice, only to get a cloutaround the head from my dad andtold never to do that in public be-cause it was rude. The town wasnot Mumbai.

And in a crowded lift once, thesmell of an intestine polluted theatmosphere. Someone had lostcontrol. The packed lift sufferedthe olfactory pollution in silenceuntil the doors opened and peoplepoured out. As we stepped out, anirate old party in an immaculatewhite kurta and dhoti said Kahansey gobar kha key aathey hai using a word for sister-fancierswhere I have put dots.It was Del hi.

And once when I dialled a calland asked for the party I was call-ing by name, the person on theother end said You got thewrong number, you dumb prick!and banged the phone down.That was New York.

I salaam Bombay! And Bom-bay salaams me back.

The columnist is a scriptwriter based in London.

Choosing a conscience keeper

I salaam Bombay!

Chinmaya Gharekhan

Kofi Annan, the 7th Secretary-General of the United Nations,will complete his second five-yearterm on December 31, 2006. TheUN will elect his successor beforethat date.

The Charter of the UN men-tions only two specific functionsfor the Secretary-General: to actas the Chief Administrative Offi-cer of the Organisation and tobring to the attention of the Secu-rity Council any situation which,in his opinion, would threaten in-ternational peace and security. Inpublic perception, the Secretary-General is the keeper of theworlds conscience and protectorof the dispossessed and oppressedof the world.

The Charter does not lay downeither the criteria of eligibility forthe most prestigious and difficultdiplomatic job in the world or theprocedure for election. It merelystates that the Secretary-Generalshall be appointed by the GeneralAssembly on the recommendationof the Security Council.The deci-sion is controlled by the five per-manent members.

Until the 1970s, the principle of rotating the post among differentregional groups was not invoked.Three of the first four Secretaries-General came from Europe. Theexception was U Thant of Burma(Myanmar) who became the thirdSecretary-General after Dag Ham-marskjold died in a mysterious aircrash in 1961. In 1981, the LatinAmerican group successfully bidfor the post and Perez de Cuellarof Peru got the job.

In 1991, the Africans pressedtheir claim and presented a list of six candidates endorsed by theOrganisation of African Unity.The US/UK duo refused to acceptthe principle of rotation, main-taining that the best possible can-

didate should be elected. Howev-er, the other three permanentmembers, as well as all other re-gional groups, stood by theAfricans. Boutros Ghali got elect-ed in 1991. When he failed to get asecond term in 1996, Kofi Annanof Ghana won the coveted postand was re-elected in 2001. Africa,therefore, has occupied the postfor 15 years or three full ter ms.

The first thing that India,

Shashi Tharoors sponsor, has todo, together with the govern-ments sponsoring the other threecandidates Sri Lanka,Thailandand South Korea is to mobiliseother regional groups to acknowl-edge Asias turn. US and UK stilldo not accept the rotation princi-ple. Russia and China have pub-licly supported Asias right; theymight veto non-Asian candidates.Latin America, Africa and Asiatogether have seven of the 15 seatson the Council.If they join ranks,they can prevent a non-Asianfrom getting elected, since a per-son has to obtain at least nineyes votes, without attracting aveto from a permanent member.

It is not feasible, as suggested,that Asia should put forward onlyone name. Is it conceivable thatPakistan will agree to an Indianname,and vice versa? It is also ad-visable to offer a choice.

The Security Council has invit-ed all those among the 191 UNmembers 192, with the additionof Montenegro interested inputting forward candidates to doso by early July. Governments can

propose names of their own na-tionals or persons from othercountries. When, as President of Security Council, I presided overthe election of a Secretary-Generalin October 1991, I even received theself-promoted candidature from aBritish citizen of Indian origin.

To eliminate non-starters, theSecurity Council conducts astraw poll. Behind closed doors,the 15 members meet informallyand cast votes on a non-officialballot paper, a non-binding vote.Members are given differentcoloured ballots for permanentand non-permanent members,usually red and white respectively.At that stage, it becomes clearwhether any candidate has the re-quired majority, without attract-ing a negative vote from a perma-nent member. Abstention by per-manent members is as good as ayes vote.

As soon as one or more candi-dates appear to have the requiredmajority,the Security Council pro-ceeds to an official vote around thehorseshoe table in the CouncilChamber. This meeting is held be-hind closed doors; non-membersand media are not allowed. If morethan one candidate obtains thenecessary majority, the Councilmay hold additional ballots, infor-mal consultations and straw pollsuntil only one candidate emergesvictorious. The Council has neverrecommended more than onename to the General Assembly.

The General Assembly theoret-ically can refuse the name recom-mended by the Council, but thishas not happened so far. The prac-tice during past 30 years has beenfor the General Assembly to en-dorse Security Councils recom-mendation by acclamation, with-out vote.

The writer was Indias Permanent Representative to the UN.

Ultimately, its the Security Council which decides on the secretary general

Getty Images

Rude? Baah!

Its a dirty city, adishonest city, aviolent and lonelycity, a city of theuncaring rich andthe scramblingpoor, but not rude

The right pick It is not feasible for Asia toput forward one nameonly. Will Pakistan agree toan Indian name?

opinion Mumbai, Fri, June 30, 2006epaper.dnaindia.com10...

Vol.1 Issue No. 332Printed & Published by M Venkataraman on behalf of Diligent Media

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Chairmen

Flying highTiny Singapore has really worked out theart of self-promotion for tourism. After itstie-up with the blockbuster film Krrish , forwhich the government is reported to haveshelled out cash and much else by way of assistance,the country is on an overdrive tosell itself. Now, travel agencies have deviseda special Krrish tour. For a sum that isless than a full fare ticket from Delhi toKochi, the tour offers a flight, a three-nightstay and a tour of several sites in the islandcity where the movie was shot. Thrown inalso are a special, signed T-shirt by themovies lead actor as well as a ticket to seethe movie. Given that hundreds of Hindifilms are shot in India every year, can we ex-pect to see similar tours here?

Homeward boundExpats posted to India often tend to fall inlove with the lifestyle and try to prolongtheir stay. A European diplomat,scheduledto go back home after five years in Mumbai

tried his best to get aprivate sector jobthat would keep himhere. He had madegood contacts andthese would come inhandy for any organ-isation he joined, hereckoned. And manycompanies were in-terested in him.Alas, they could notpay him the kind of money he was get-ting, nor the perks,

especially the housing part. He would haveto downsize from town to the suburbs,and this, for all his love for the city, he wasnot ready to accept.Hence its back to thesuburbs of his own home countrys capital.

Just for laffsThe media world was agog when stories cir-culated that Sahil Zaroo, accused of drugpeddling, would now onwards start charg-ing money for media interviews. Had Zaroo,with his filmi looks and Page 3 connections,also started thinking of himself to be acelebrity, was the question on many minds.A quick call to his lawyer however clarifiedthings. This statement had indeed beenmade, but in jest, in the presence of some journalists and quickly found its way intoprint. Moral of the story make sure thereare no journos around when you joke.

A real white washA Polish former MP escaped a drunkendriving ban after telling cops he had onlybeen using vodka as a mouthwash. Grze-gorz Gruszka was arrested after beingpulled over by police in a routine check andfailed a breath test.He was acquitted afterhe told prosecutors he had not actuallyswallowed any alcohol, and had only rinsedhis mouth with jogobelka a popular lo-cal mixture of vodka and mustard.

Do not debate! is oneof my inventions.

Deng Xiaoping

g raffiti ...

s utra ...

Death by wireYou often see birds perched on overheadtransmission cables, such a prominentfeature of any landscape nowadays.However, while these transmission ca-bles are resting and lookout perches formany birds,they turn into deadly killersduring migration. The situation is turn-ing bad in the bird-rich,coastal Mumbairegion with the great proliferation of such cables and towers everywhere. Lastweek, seven Lesser Flamingos, a pro-tected species and the bird that hasmade Mumbais Sewri Bay famous, meta horrible death on the power lines atMarve, in north-west Mumbai while onesurvived serious injuries. Severalspecies of migratory birds, which fly atnight, also meet with accidents whilsthitting these transmission cables. Theymust be invisible and alien to the phe-nomenal bird-compass. Since the Mum-

bai region is a stronghold for water-sidemigratory birds, it is high time we, thecitys birding fraternity and the power

companies, got together and identifiedthe most vulnerable spots. Bright or-ange marker balls, which have beentried in several countries and are knownto be quite efficient in helping flyingbirds avoid the danger-zones, can beplaced on these. This is an ardent re-quest to all to wake up to this unfortu-nate reality. Together, we could savequite a few birds.

Sunjoy Monga, Mumbai.

Ghana steals the showBrazil may have won the match (Braziltoo good for Ghana, DNA June 27),but itwas Ghana who won our hearts. TheAfrican team, which was playing for thefirst time in a World Cup final, was ex-cellent. Ghana seemed to have got a baddeal as two of the Brazilian goals wereclearly offside. The debutants also hadsome near misses. In fact they couldhave gone one up but for the ball hittingthe bar and flying out. It was a superb

display of fast and attacking football,but by an inexperienced side. Ghanaseemed to have upheld the reputations

of previous African sides like Senegal,Cameroon and Nigeria, which came tothe tournament and played entertainingfootball. If Ghana continues to play in asimilar fashion, it may surprise the big-gies of the game in the next World Cup. Abdul Monim, Vashi.

A heartening moveThis refers to the report 9 heads roll insex probe ( DNA, June, 25). It is said,Rules are made for fools and wise peo-ple are to overlook them.I would like tomodify it as, rules are rules for better-ment of both wise and fools but crookedfellows overlook them. I am convincedthat the ascending crime rate can bechecked when rules pronounce strictand hard punishments. It was hearten-ing that additional sessions judge KUChandiwal was bold enough to sentenceSunil More for 12 years rigorous impris-onment for rape in the Marine Drive caseinstead of the usual seven-year sentence.

MV Atre, Mumbai.

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Does it hurt in that space where the heartis, the seat of emotional torment and raptur-ous love? There is hardly a person who hasnot known pain since it is so intricately wo-ven in the fabric of life, but the pain of bro-ken relationships beats them all. The point isdoes the heart heal totally after turbulenttimes or do thorns bury deep and at treacher-ous turns prick deep and old wounds open?

To break a relationship or to makecompromises to keep it going takes its toll.Whether its parent and child, husband andwife, brother and sister, lovers, or the nearproverbial saas-bahu relationship, every-thing comes at a price. Emotional healingis often a necessity we overlook in the heatof life.

Sometimes tough decisions are required especially when its a matter of deep faith orprinciples. You have to decide which road totake at the crossroad and accept what

comes along that path. Are you ready to con-vert your religion to marry somebody? Areyou ready to sacrifice a scintillating career tobe able to bring your children up with per-sonal warmth and care? Are you ready to ex-change your dream with that of your parents?Choices if you could make the right ones,you could avoid deep emotional scars.IF!

We do make choices that prove to be wrongin time. We are fallible and to think that wecan go through life without error and pain issomewhat Utopian. So, how do we fill thewounds,ease pain and move on? The answeris simple but not easy wisdom.

Wisdom is applied knowledge.Somewherewe carry a premise in our mind that pain canbe avoided. Perhaps.But since a painless lifeis rare, the best option is to let go of pastpain. Dont resist pain when it comes, acceptit and then let it drop. Dont brood over it, orthink of it as a deep cosmic conspiracy thatsingles you out to suffer. Everyone suffers,but not everyone overcomes suffering. Wis-dom lies in accepting what is natural inthis case both pain and healing.

Harvinder Kaur

r eflexions ...Letting go of pain