let’s talk about you - macmillan cancer support ·...

let’s talkabouTyou

Support for young people caring for someone with cancer

Welcome

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Welcome Hello. And welcome to our handbook. We’ve put it together, along with Macmillan Cancer Support, to give help and information to young people aged 12–18 who are caring for someone who has cancer.

Why?Becausewe’vedoneitourselves.

Itmaybeyourmumordadwhohascancer.Oryourbrotherorsister.Itcouldbeafriend,grandparent,auntoruncle.

Youmaybeangry,shockedorfrightened.Youmaybethinking,‘Whyme?’or,‘Whythem?’

We’vebeenthere.Andwecamethroughit.That’swhywewantedtoshareourexperienceswithyou,soyouknowthattherearelotsofpeopleyoucanturnto.Andthattherearethingsyoucandotolookafteryourself.

We’vesplitthisguideintochapters,soyoucandipinandout,oryoucanreaditallinonegoifyoulike.Ifthere’ssomethingyou’dliketoknowmoreabout,there’sahugelistofwebsitesandorganisationsinchapter13thatcanhelp.

Wehopethishandbookanswerssomeofyourquestions.Andremember,therearelotsofpeopleyoucantalktowhenthetimeisrightforyou.

FromAphra,Sara,Eve,DavidandtheArdenCancerNetwork’sYoungPeople’sGroup;Jess;theyoungcarersfromtheOxfordCityYoungCarers’Forum;andtheyoungpeopleatSpiralChildren’sBereavementServiceinNottinghamshire.

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Let’stalkaboutyou:aguideforyoungpeoplecaringforsomeonewithcancer

1.Whatiscancer? 5

2.Whatisayoungcarer? 15

3.Feelings 21

4.Relationships 29

5.Whataboutschool? 35

6.Workandmoney 39

7.Wherecanyougoforhelpandsupport? 43

8.Lookingafteryourself 49

9.Talkingtodoctorsandnurses 55

10.Copingwithdeath 61

11.Lifeaftercancer 69

12.Glossary 73

13.Furtherinformation 79

14.Yournotesandquestions 95

co

nTen

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Let’stalkaboutyou:aguideforyoungpeoplecaringforsomeonewithcancer

What is cancer?

About cancer 6

The A–Z of who does what 9

1

Let’stalkaboutyou:supportforyoungpeoplecaringforsomeonewithcancer

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The big C word. Cancer. It’s probably ruling your life right now. You may be blaming yourself.

‘IfonlyI’dspokenupaboutsmoking.’‘IfonlyI’dencouragedthemtobehealthier.’‘MaybeIcouldhavestoppedthemgettingcancer.’

That’swhatwethoughttoo.Butthefactis,anyonecangetcancer.Andit’snotyourfault.

About cancer

Everypartofourbodyismadeupofcellsthatfittogetherlikebuildingblocks.Cellsofthesametypegrouptogethertomakedifferentkindsoftissue,forexamplefat,muscle,bone,nervesandblood(aliquidtissue).Cancerisadiseaseofthesecells.

Normal cells Cells forming a tumour

Whatiscancer?

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Cellsgetwornoutanddie,butnewcellsarebeingmadeallthetimeinthebody.Anormal,healthycellwillsplittocreatetwonewcells,andthencarryondividinginacontrolledway.Ifthisprocessgetsoutofcontrol,thecellsdevelopintoalumpcalledatumour.Thiscanbein:

• anorgan,suchastheliverorkidney

• abone

• theblood(whichcausesatypeofcancercalledleukaemia)

• thelymphaticsystem(whichcausesatypeofcancercalledlymphoma).

Therearemorethan200differentkindsofcancer,eachwithitsownnameandtreatment.Peoplewithcancerhavetohavetests,scansandinvestigationstofindoutexactlywhattypeofcancertheyhave,andtofindoutwhetherithasspreadinthebody.Thishelpsthedoctorsplantherighttreatmentforeachperson.Somecommoncancertreatmentsincludesurgery,chemotherapyandradiotherapy.

Ifsomeoneinyourfamilyishavingtreatmentforcancer,youmightwanttoknowmore.Youcouldasktospeakwiththeirdoctors(aslongasthepersonwithcancergivestheirpermission).

Tomakethingsevenclearer,inchapter12we’veincludedalistofcommonmedicalwordsandphrasesthatthedoctorsandnursesmightuse.


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Are you worried about getting cancer because your family member has it?

Manypeopleworryaboutgettingcancer.Sometimestheyworrybecausesomeoneintheirfamilyhashadcancer,andtheythinkitwillbepassedonfromonegenerationtoanother(inherited).Infact,fewerthan1in10cases(lessthan5–10%)ofcancerhasbeenshowntobeduetoafamilyhistoryofthedisease.

Fewer than 1 in 10 cases of cancer has been shown to be due to a family history

of the disease

Whatiscancer?

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The A–Z of who does what

Asayoungcarer,you’reprobablygoingtomeetalotofdifferentpeople,bothinandoutofhospital.We’veputtogetherthislistofsomeofthepeopleyoumightmeetandwhattheydo.

Someonewhocanhelpyouclaimanybenefitsthatyouorotherfamilymembersmaybeentitledto.Benefitsarepaymentsfromthegovernmenttohelppeopleinneed.

Anursewhocaresforpeopleathomeandgivesthemanymedicationtheyneed.

Someoneyoucantalktoaboutyourfeelingsandworries.

Youmaymeetthefollowingkindsofdoctorsduringyourtimeasayoungcarer:

• AnaesthetistAdoctorwho’strainedtolookafterthepersonyoucareforwhenthey’rehavinganoperation.They’llgivethemtherightanaesthetic(seepage74)forthesurgery.

benefits or welfare rightsadviser

communityor disTrictnurse

counsellor

docTors


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• ConsultantTheseniordoctorwho’sinchargeofapatient’streatment.Theywillcheckthepatient’sprogress,plantheirtreatmentandbeinchargeoftheiroverallcare.(Seealsomultidisciplinaryteamonpage11.)

• GP (general practitioner) Thedoctoratyourlocaldoctors’surgery.Youmayknowthispersonalready.They’lllookafterthepersonyoucareforwhenthey’rebackathome.TheconsultantwillkeeptheGPinformedabouttreatmentandprogress.

• OncologistAdoctorwhospecialisesinlookingafterpeoplewithcancer.Mostareeithermedicalorclinicaloncologists.Amedicaloncologististrainedintheuseofdrugstotreatcancer.Aclinicaloncologististrainedtogivebothdrugsandradiotherapy(seepage77).

• PathologistAdoctorwhoteststhebloodtocheckthataperson’sbloodcountisokay.Theyalsolookatbiopsysamplesunderamicroscopetocheckthedifferentcells.

• RadiologistAdoctorwho’sspeciallytrainedtolookatx-raysandscans.

• SurgeonAdoctorwhocarriesoutoperations,suchastakingabiopsyofthetumour.

• University medical studentsThesearetraineedoctors.Theymaycomeroundwiththequalifieddoctorswhoaretreatingthepersonyoucarefor,sothattheycanlearnaboutwhathappens.

Whatiscancer?

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Someonewhocleansthewardsandsometimesgivesoutdrinksandmeals.

Anursewhowillcloselywatchtheprogressofthepersonyoucareforandgivethemanyextrasupportorinformationtheyneed.

Anursewho’sspeciallytrainedtocareforpeoplewithcancerwhoaredyingandwanttostayathome.

Thenamegiventothegroupofhealthcarespecialistswhowillbelookingafterthepersonyoucarefor.Theconsultantwillbeamemberoftheteam.Theconsultantwilldiscusstheperson’scarewiththeteamandgettheirexpertadvice.

Someonewhocanhelpthepersonyoucareforcarryouteverydaytasksorfindnewthingsforthemtodowhilethey’refeelingunwell.

Anursewhocomestopeople’shomesandcoordinatesactivities.

domestic

macmillanor specialist

nurse

marie curienurse

mulTidisciplinaryteam (or mdT

for short)

occupaTionaltherapist

oncology outreach nurse


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Someonewhogivesoutmedicinesthatdoctorshaveprescribed.Theycanalsogiveinformationandadviceaboutstoringandtakingmedicines.

Someonewhocanhelpthepersonyoucareforwiththeirabilitytomovearound(theirphysicalmobility).

Ifyou’refindingithardtocope,thisissomeonewhocanhelpyoucometotermswithyoursituationandmanageyourfeelings.

Someonewhotakesx-raysanddoesscans.Theyalsogiveradiotherapytreatment,whichisplannedbytheradiologist.

Someonewhocanhelpyouandyourfamilywithfinancial,workorsocialissues.

Anursewhowillmakesurethepersonyoucareforislookedafterwhilethey’reinhospital.Theywillgivethemanyregulartreatmentstheyneed.Thiscouldincludetakingbloodsamplesandgivingmedicationsorchemotherapy(seepage75).

pharmacist

physiotherapist

psychologist

radiographer

socialworker

Ward nurse

Whatiscancer?

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YoucangetinformationaboutdifferenttypesofcancerandtheirtreatmentsfromMacmillan.Call0808 808 00 00tospeaktooneoftheircancersupportspecialists.Theycanrecommendleafletsandsendthemtoyouthroughthepost.Callsarefree.Oryoumightliketoreadtheinformationonlineatmacmillan.org.uk/cancerinformation

Andremember–anyinformationtheysendyouwillarriveinplainpackaging,sonoonewillknowyouhaveaskedforit.

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Let’stalkaboutyou::supportforyoungpeoplecaringforsomeonewithcancer

2What is a young carer?

Are you a young carer? 16

What does being a young carer mean? 17

Looking after yourself 19


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Are you a young carer?

Youmaynotthinkyouare.Butifyou’reunder18andyouspendanyofyourtimelookingaftersomeonewhoisill,thenyou’reayoungcarer.

Asayoungcarer,youmightdoextrathingstohelpyourfamily–stuffthatyourfriendswon’tnecessarilybedoing.Thingslike:

• makingdinner

• washingthedishes

• cleaningthehouse

• doingthefoodshopping

• washingclothes

• lookingafterbrothersorsisters.

Youmayalsobeaskedtodothingsforthepersonwhohascancer,likehelpingthemgetdressed,givingthemtheirmedicinesorchangingtheirbandages.

Youmaycomfortthemwhenthey’reupset,orbetheretolistenwhentheyneedtotalk.

Whatisayoungcarer?

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What does being a young carer mean?

Beingayoungcarercanaffectyourlifeinmanyways.Itcanmakeyoufeeldifferent,butthat’sokay.Youmayfindthatyoucan’tconcentrateatschoolorcollege,andthatyoudon’thaveasmuchtimetostudy.Itcouldbehardtokeepupwithyourfriends.Youmayhavetocancelplanstolookafterthepersonwhohascancer.Sometimesitcanfeellikebeingacarerhastakenoveryourlife.

Youmayalsobeworriedaboutwhat’shappeningathome.Youmayfeelangrywiththepersonyou’relookingafter.Youmayfeelneglected,andthenfeelguiltyforfeelingthatway.

Beingayoungcarerisabigresponsibility.Andthatcansometimesbereallyhard.Butpositivethingscanalsocomeoutoftheexperience.Thingslikebecomingclosertothepersonyoucarefor,learningnewskillsandfeelingmoremature.

‘At least when I got to uni I knew how to work a washing machine!’Aphra, 18

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Whatisayoungcarer?

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Looking after yourself

It’sveryimportanttoremembertolookafteryourself.Youmayfeellikeyouhavetheweightoftheworldonyourshoulders.Butyoushouldonlyevertakeonasmuchasyoucanhandle.

Herearesomeofthethingsthathelpedus:

• Ifyou’refeelingstressedout,talktosomeone.Itcouldbeafriend,ateacheroranotherfamilymember.Oryoumaywanttojoinasupportgroup.Youngcarers’projects(seepage45)cansupportyouandgiveyoutimeoutfromcaring.Theyoungcarers’workerscanalsotalktoprofessionalsandyourschoolonyourbehalf.Theyhavegroupswhereyoucanmeetotheryoungcarers.Youcanchilloutandnoonewillaskyouwhyyou’reayoungcarer.Gotoyoungcarers.nettofindoneclosetoyou.Youcanalsochatwithotheryoungcarersandwithonlinesupportworkers,whocangiveyouinformationandadvice.

• Therearealsolotsofphonenumbersandwebsitesofotherorganisationsthatcanhelpyouinchapter13ofthisbooklet.

• Youmaywanttoletyourschoolorcollegeknowwhat’sgoingon.Theremaybetimeswhenyouneedextrahelpwithyourwork,orwhenyouneedtimeoff.Yourteacherscanonlysupportyouiftheyknowwhat’shappeningathome.

• Maketimeforyourself.Dosomethingthattakesyourmindoffthesituation,likeplayingsport,spendingtimewithfriends,painting,orwalkingthedog.Remember,you’restillallowedtoenjoyyourselfandyoudon’tneedtofeelguiltyforwantingyourownlife.

• Asayoungcarer,ifyoudon’tfeelcomfortabledoingsomething(forexample,helpingsomeonegotothetoilet),youcansayno.

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Feelings

Coping with your feelings 22

Bottling it up 22

Feeling up one minute and down the next (mood swings) 24

Coping with other people’s feelings 24

Counselling (support if you’d like to talk about your feelings) 27

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Coping with your feelings

Findingoutthatsomeoneclosetoyouhascancercancausemanyemotions.Alotofpeoplesaythattheirfirstreactionwas,‘What’sgoingtohappen,willhe/sherecover?’andthen,‘Aretheygoingtodie?’Thisuncertaintycanmakeyoufeelallkindsofthings.

Wefeltfrightenedaboutthefutureandupsetthatthiswashappeningtosomeoneweloved.

Youmayfeelangrywiththeworld,orwiththepersonwhohascancer.Youmayfeelguilty.Youmaybeanxiousorfeeldown.Whateveryou’refeeling,it’sanaturalpartofthecancerexperience.

Bottling it up

Trynottobottleupyourfeelings.Youmightdecidetotrynottogetupsetinfrontofthepersonwhohascancerincaseyouworrythem,andthat’sfine.Butmakesureyou’renotdealingwithitonyourown.Talktoyourfriendsifyoucan.Ortalktosomeoneelseinthefamily.Youmayfindthattheywanttosharetheirfeelingswithyoutoo.

‘I used to talk to my auntie. She was pleased, because she felt like she was supporting my mum by being there for me.’Sara, 18

Feelings

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Ifyoudon’tfeelcomfortabletalkingtosomeoneclose,thenmaybeayoungcarers’workeroranadultatschoolorcollegecouldhelp.Itdoesn’thavetobeyourformtutororevensomeonewhotakesyouforlessons–itmayevenbetheschoolnurse.Youcanalsochatonlinewithsupportworkersorotheryoungcarersatyoungcarers.net

Theremaybealocalyoungcarers’supportgroupyoucouldjoin.Askaroundatschoolorcollege.Orseechapter13forsomeorganisationsthatcanhelp.Itcanbeeasiertomakefriendswithotheryoungcarerswhenyouallhavesomethingincommon,likegoingtothesameschool.

Therearealsoplentyofpeopleyoucanphone.TheMacmillanSupportLineon0808 808 00 00isfreeandhasplentyoftrainedspecialiststohand.Theycanansweryourquestionsaboutcancer,orjustbetheretolistentoyouifyoufeelliketalkingtosomeoneabouthowyou’refeeling.

Youcanfindcontactdetailsforlotsmorehelpfulorganisationsatthebackofthisbooklet.

Ifyoudon’twanttodealwithhowyou’refeelingrightnow,that’sokaytoo.Dowhatworksforyou,andrememberthathelpistherewhenyoufeelreadyforit.


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Feeling up one minute and down the next (mood swings)

Everydayisdifferentwhenyou’recaringforsomeonewithcancer.You’llprobablywakeupwonderingwhetheritwillbeagooddayorabadday.

Becauseyou’regoingthroughsuchaconfusingtime,youmayfindthatyougetmoodswings.Oneminuteyou’llbelaughingwithyourfriends,andthenextyoucouldburstintotears.Thisisperfectlynormal.Itcanbehardtodealwitheverysituationasithappens,andoftenyourfeelingshityoumuchlater.

Itcanbedifficulttoexplainyourmoodswingstopeoplewhodon’tknowthatyou’reaffectedbycancer.Butyoudon’thavetoexplainyoursituationtoanyoneifyoudon’twantto.It’syourbusiness,andyoushouldonlytalktopeopleaboutitifyoutrustthemandfeelcomfortablewiththem.

Coping with other people’s feelings

Itcanbehardtoseeadultsgettingupsetinfrontofyou.Youmaynothavehadtodealwithitbefore.Youmayfeelweirdorhelpless,ornotknowwhattosay.Mostofusfeltlikethisatsomepoint.

Thebestthingwefoundwecoulddowastojustbethere.Betheretolisteniftheyneedtotalk.Betherewithacupof

Feelings

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teaiftheygetupset.Andit’simportanttobethereforthegooddaystoo.

Justasyouneedtotakeyourmindoffthesituation,sodoesthepersonwithcancer.WatchaDVDtogether.Playaboardgameifthey’reuptoit,ordoajigsaw.Theywillreallyappreciatejustdoingsomethingnormalandspendingtimewithyou.

Ifyouhavebrothersorsisters,they’llalsogetupset.Ifyouareolder,partofyourroleasayoungcarermaybetolookafteryoursiblings.Thiscouldincludetalkingtothemandcomfortingthem.

‘I’m definitely closer to my dad and brother since my mum got cancer. We always try to be there for each other. I appreciate them so much more now.’Laura, 14Oftenfamiliessaythatsomethinglikecancerbringsthemclosertogether.But,ifyouaren’tclosetoyourbrothersorsisters,itcansometimesmakeyoufeelalone.Cancercanalsocausealotofpressure,andyourfamilymaygetangryorfightmore.Trynottoletitgettoyou.Rememberthateveryoneisdifferent,andthereisnorightorwrongwaytofeelorbehave.


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‘My older brother went out a lot. He withdrew from the family. It hurt at the time, but I understand now that it was his way of coping.’ Michael, 16

Ifyoufeellikeyouneedtotalktosomeone,youcanalwayscontacttheMacmillanSupportLineortheotherusefulorganisationslistedinchapter13ofthisbooklet.

Depression

It’snotunusualforsomeonetofeelverylowafterbeingtoldtheyhavecancer,andduringoraftertreatment.Manypeoplefeelphysicallyandemotionallyexhaustedfromthetreatment,andthiscanmakethemfeellow.However,forsomepeopleaffectedbycancer,theirlowmoodmaycontinueorgetworseandtheymayneedspecialisthelportreatment.Somepeoplefindthattheirmoodislowmostofthetimeforseveralweeksormore.Thismaymeanthattheyhavedepression.

It’simportanttorecognisethatdepressionisn’tanybody’sfault.Depressionisanillnessthatneedstobetreated,justlikecancer.Ifyou’reworriedthatthepersonyou’recaringformaybedepressed,trytotalktothemaboutit.Ortalktoanotheradult.It’simportantthatthedepressionisdiagnosedandtreated.

Ifyouwanttoknowmoreaboutdepression,youcancalltheMacmillanSupportLineon0808 808 00 00.

Feelings

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Counselling (support if you’d like to talk about your feelings)

‘Sometimes you don’t get time to think aboutwhat’s going on and you don’t realise that you’re trying to run past what’s happening. It was much later that I suddenly started crying and didn’t stop for a long time.’ Jenna, 17Ifyou’restrugglingtocopeorarefeelinglow,thenitmightbeagoodideatoseeacounsellor.They’retrainedtohelpyouunderstandyourfeelingssothatyoucancopebetter.

YoucangotoyourGPandasktobereferredtoacounsellor.Ortheremightbeacounselloratyourschoolorcollege.Ifyoudoseeacounsellor,youcandecidehowmuchyou’dliketosharewiththem,andanythingyoutellthemwillbeconfidential.

Youmayfeelembarrassedaboutneedingtotalktosomeonewhenitseemsasthoughotherpeopledon’tneedto.Butcounsellorsarejustpeople,andthey’retheretohelp.Youmayfindithelpstotalktosomebodywhoisn’tdirectlyinvolvedinyoursituation.Ifyou’reangrywithsomeoneorfrustrated,youcantalkaboutittothecounsellorwithoutupsettinganyone.

Ifyoudecidethatthecounsellorisnottherightpersontohelpyou,sayso.Perhapsyoucouldspeaktosomeonedifferent.Havealookattheorganisationsinchapter13forideasonwhototalkto.

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Relationships

Friends 30

Family 32

Boyfriends and girlfriends 33

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Relationships play an important part in all our lives. Think back to when you first started school. Who was your best friend? Is it still the same person today?

Youmayfindthatwhileyou’relookingaftersomeonewhohascancer,yourrelationshipswithfriendsandfamilywillchange.Trynottoworryaboutthis.Allrelationshipschangeanddevelopovertime.Somedriftaway,whileothersgrowstronger.You’llprobablyexperienceboth.

Friends

Talkingtofriendsaboutcancercanbescary.Weallreactedthesamewayatfirst.Wehidaway.Wewereinshock.Weneededtimetothinkthingsthrough.Youmighthavedonethattoo.

Whenwedidtalktoourfriends,wethoughttheywouldn’tunderstandwhatweweregoingthrough.Butwewerewrong.

Ifyoudecidetotalktoyourfriendsaboutyoursituation:

• you’llhavesomeonetotalktowhenyou’restressedwithoutfeelingguilty

• youwon’thavetomakeexcusesifyoucancelonthem

• they’llknowtobackoffifyou’rehavingabadday

• you’relesslikelytobottlethingsup.

Youmaynotwanttotellallyourfriendsstraightaway.Buttalkingtooneortwoveryclosefriendsisagreatplace

Relationships

31

tostart.Yourbestfriendsshouldacceptyounomatterwhat.Andtheywillhelpyoufeelnormal,whichisreallyimportant.

Bepreparedthatyourfriendsmayreactdifferently–notwopeoplearethesame.Somepeoplewilltakeitintheirstride.Othersmaynotknowwhattosaytoyou.Theymayneedtimetotakeitin,justasyoudid.

‘Some friends never knew. They couldn’t support me because they didn’t realise anything was wrong. Looking back, I think I should have talked to them more.’ Sapna, 16


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Family

‘No one mentioned it in the house at all. I think we didn’t want to upset each other.’ Sasha, 12It’slikelythatthepersonyou’rehelpingcareforisyourmumordad,yourbrotherorsister,oroneofyourgrandparents–someonewholivesinyourhouse,orwhoyouseeoften.

Itwilltaketimeforyoualltocometotermswiththecancer.Themostimportantthingistotrytoworkthroughittogether.Wefoundtalkingtoeachotherandspendingtimetogetherasafamilyhelped.

Trytodoallthenormalthingsyoudidbefore.Don’tfeelbadifyouhaveargumentswithyourfamily,includingthepersonyou’recaringfor.Thisisanormalpartoffamilylife.

It’salsoimportantnottodoeverythingforthepersonyou’recaringfor.They’llstillwanttobeindependentiftheycan.

Othermembersofyourfamilymayalsowanttohelp,sodon’tfeellikeyouhavetodoeverythingyourself.Therearelotsofwaystheycanlendahand.Iftheytidythehouseordotheshopping,itwillgiveyouabreakandhelpthemfeelthatthey’resupportingyou.

Relationships

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Boyfriends and girlfriends

Ifyouhaveaboyfriendorgirlfriend,theymaybesomeoneyoucantalktoaboutyoursituation.Spendingtimewiththem,forexamplegoingtothecinemaorlisteningtomusictogether,canalsogiveyouabreakfrombeingayoungcarerforalittlewhile.Youcouldevenaskthemtohelpyouwiththeextrastuffyouhavetodoathome.Theymighthelpyoucarrytheshopping,mowthelawn,ortakethedogforawalk.Don’tbeafraidtoaskthemforsupport.

Beinginarelationshipcanbecoolandsomethingjustforyou.Butitcanalsobepainful.Ifthingsaren’tgoingwell,orifyousplitup,itcanreallyhurt.Thiscanbeanaddedpressureifyou’recaringforsomeonewhohascancer.

Youmayfeelguiltyforgettingupsetaboutyourrelationship.Youmayfeelthatyoucan’ttalkaboutitathomebecauseitseemsunimportantcomparedwithwhatyourfamily’sgoingthrough.Butwhathappensinyourlifeisstillimportant.You’reallowedtohavefeelingsaboutthingsotherthancancer.Cancermaybeahugepartofyourliferightnow,butit’snotyourwholelife.

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What about school?

Homework 36

Teachers 37

Missing school 37

Bullying 37

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36

For some of us, going to school was a welcome relief. It meant that we could see our friends and forget about our problems for a few hours. For others, going to school meant that we were away from the person we were caring for, and it made us worry.

Someofusgotbulliedatschool,whichwashorrible.Butallofusagreethatifyoutellyourschoolthatyou’recaringforsomeonewithcancer,itwillbefareasiertogetsupportifandwhenyouneedit.

Homework

Asayoungcarer,youmayfindthatyoudon’thaveasmuchtimetodoyourhomeworkasyoudidbefore.Afterschool,youmaybecookingmealsordoinghousework,oryoumayjustnotfeeluptoit.Trytotakeeachdayasitcomes.Ifyou’refindingithardtoconcentrateathome,isthereanotherplacethatyoucangotodoyourwork?Perhapsarelativeorfriend’shouse?

Ifyou’reworriedthatyoumightbefallingbehind,youcanaskayoungcarers’worker(seepage45tofindone)orafamilymembertotalktoyourschoolaboutyourhomework.Itmaybepossiblefortheschooltolookattheamountofworkthattheygiveyou,tomakeiteasiertohandle.

Whataboutschool?

37

Teachers

You’llprobablyhaveafewfavouriteteachers.Andyoumayhaveafewthatyoureallydon’tlike.Youmaynotwanttotellyourteachersthatyou’rehelpingcareforsomeone,butiftheyknow,theymaybeabletohelpyou.Forexample,ifyou’restrugglingatschoolorwithhomework,oryouneedtimeoff,they’llunderstand.

Missing school

Findingthetimetobalancecaringandgoingtoschoolcanbehard.Sometimesyoumayfeellikeyouneedtotakeadayofftolookafterthepersonyoucarefor.Oryoumaystruggletogetintoschoolontime.Ifthesethingshappenoften,speaktoateacherorsomeonewhoworksatyourschool.Theyshouldbeabletoarrangesupportforyouorthepersonyoucarefor,sothatyoudon’tneedtomissschool.Ifyoudon’tfeelcomfortabletalkingtotheschoolyourself,youcanaskafamilymemberoryoungcarers’workertodothisforyou.

Bullying

Bulliespickonpeoplewhoaredifferenttothem.Ifyou’reayoungcarer,youmayfindthatyou’rethetargetofbullying.

Ifyou’rebeingbulliedbecauseofyoursituationathome,it’simportantthatyoudon’tblameyourself.Talktosomeoneaboutit.Tellyourschool.Perhapstheycouldarrangetoteachalessonaboutcancer.Itmayhelpyourclassmatesandteachersunderstandmoreaboutyoursituation.

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Work and money

Telling your boss 40

Time off work 41

Benefits 41

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40

Telling your boss

Ifyou’reworking,evenifit’sjustpart-time,youmaydecidetotellyourbossorsomeoneelseatworkthatyou’rehelpingcareforsomeonewithcancer.

Herearesomereasonswhyyoumaywanttotellthem:

• Ifyougetupsetatwork,theywillbebetterabletosupportyou.

• Theywillunderstandifyouhavetomisswork.

• Theymaybeabletogiveyoutimeoff.

• Ifyouworkshifts,theycouldarrangeyourshiftstofitaroundyourchoresathome.

• Dependingonwhatjobyoudo,youmaybeabletodosomeworkathome.

Youmaybeworriedabouttellingyourboss,incasetheythinkyoucan’tdoyourjobproperly.Youmaythinkthatyou’llgetthesackifyoutellyourbossthatyou’reacarer.IntheUK,ifyou’rethemaincarerforsomeonewhohascancer,it’sagainstthelawforanyonetotreatyoubadlyatworkbecauseofyourcircumstances.

Ofcourse,youmaychoosenottotellanyoneatworkthatyouareayoungcarer.Someofusdidn’t,becausewewantedtogotoworkandjustbenormal.Wefoundthathavingapart-timejobwasagoodchancetogetoutofthehouseanddosomethingforourselves.Wewantedworktobesomewherewherewedidn’thavetothinkortalkaboutcancer.

Workandmoney

41

Time off work

Ifyou’rethemaincarerforsomeonewhohascancer,youcouldbeentitledtopaidorunpaidleavefromworktolookafterthem.Youcanfindoutmoreaboutyourrightsatmacmillan.org.uk/legalrights

YoucouldalsocalltheMacmillanSupportLineon0808 808 00 00tospeaktoacancersupportspecialist.They’llbeabletotalkyouthroughwhattimeoffyou’reentitledtoatwork.

Benefits

Ifyou’reover16andayoungcarer,youmaybeentitledtocertainbenefits,includingCarer’sAllowanceorCarer’sCredit.

Ifyou’dliketoknowmoreabouttheseandotherbenefits,youcancallMacmillan’scancersupportspecialistson0808 808 00 00andtheywillbehappytohelp.OryoucancallthefreeBenefitsEnquiryLine(BEL)on0800 882 200ortextphone0800 243 355.

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Where can you go for help and support?

Support groups 44

Young carers’ projects 45

Social workers 46

Charities 46

Online forums 47

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44

When we were helping care for someone with cancer, we weren’t too sure how to get information about cancer, or about being a young carer. We went on the internet and searched for things, but we often ended up on random websites that gave us no information.

That’swhyatcollegeafewofusstartedourownsupportgroups.Wewantedawaytoshareinformation,andtohelpeachothercopewiththedifferentfeelingswewerehaving.

Support groups

Thesegroupsareareallygoodwaytorelaxandchillout.Theygiveyouachancetomeetupwithotheryoungpeoplelikeyou–peoplewhounderstandyou,andwhowillbethereforyouonthebaddaysaswellasthegoodones.

Yourschoolorcollegemayalreadyhaveasupportgroup.Oryourlocalcouncilmighthavesetoneup.Askaround,orlookonlinetoseewhetherthere’soneinyourarea.Therearesomewebsiteaddressesthatcanhelpyoudothisatthebackofthisbooklet–seechapter13.Supportgroupsaren’tscary–they’refun.Mostofthetimewesitaroundchattingandbeingridiculous.Sometimeswetalkaboutcancer,butnotalways.

Ifthereisn’tasupportgroupthatyoucangotolocally,youcansetoneup.That’swhatwedid.Andnowsupportgroupslikeoursarebeingsetuprightacrossthecountry.

Wherecanyougoforhelpandsupport?

45

Macmillancanhelpyoustartyourownsupportgroup,withadvice,trainingandgrants.There’smoreinformationaboutthis,andasearchtooltofindlocalsupportgroups,atmacmillan.org.uk/supportgroups

Youcouldalsoencourageyourschooltosetupasupportgroup.YourteacherscangethelpdoingthisfromtheCarersTrustwebsite–professionals.carers.org/young-carers

Young carers’ projects

Theseprojectsareheretohelpyou.Theyarerunbyyoungcarers’workersandoffer:

• achanceforyoutohaveabreakanddosomethingfun

• opportunitiestotalktootheryoungcarers

• thechancetospeakwithsomeonewho’lllistentoyouandwhoisonyourside

• help,informationandadviceforyourwholefamily.

Gotoyoungcarer.com/young-carers-servicestofindayoungcarers’projectnearyou.OrtofindyourlocalChildren’sSocietybranch,visitchildrenssociety.org.uk/in-your-area


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Social workers

Yourfamilymighthavebeengivenasocialworker,tohelpyouallcopewithcaringforsomeonewhohascancer.Socialworkersareareallygoodsourceofinformation.Ifyouhaveanyquestionsorworries,youcantalktothem.

Yoursocialworkeristheretomakesurethat,asayoungperson,you’rebeingprotectedandsupportedathome.

Youmaybeabletohaveanassessmentwithyoursocialworker.Thisisn’tatest–it’sjustachattofindoutwhatkindofextrasupportyoumayneed.Itcouldbeuseful,forexampleifyou’restrugglingtofindtimetogotoschoolormeetupwithyourfriends.ThelawthatsaysyoucangetthisassessmentiscalledtheChildrenAct1989.Visityoungcarers.netformoreinformationaboutassessments.

Charities

TherearelotsofcancercharitiesintheUK,andtheycanallgiveyouinformationandsupport.Herearesomeofthemainonesyoumaywanttogetintouchwith:

• Macmillan Cancer Supportofferspractical,emotionalandfinancialhelpforanyoneaffectedbycancer.

• Cancer Research UKfundsimportantresearchintothecausesofcancer,andcangiveyoulotsofinformationaboutdifferenttypesofcancer.

• Marie Curie Cancer Careprovidesfreenursingcaretopeoplewithcancerintheirownhome.

Wherecanyougoforhelpandsupport?

47

Therearealsocharitiesforparticulartypesofcancer,forexamplebreastcancerorleukaemia,andcharitiesjustforyoungpeople,liketheChildren’sSociety.Allofthesecharitieswillbeabletohelpyouunderstandmoreaboutcancer,itstreatmentandsideeffects.Theycanalsoputyouintouchwithotherpeoplewhoaregoingthroughthesameexperience.Seechapter13formoreorganisationsthatcanhelp.

Online forums

Joininganonlineforumcanputyouintouchwithloadsofpeoplewhoareinthesamesituationasyou.Thebestthingsaboutforumsarethatyou:

• canbeanonymous

• candipinandoutwhenyouwant

• don’thavetotellpeopleanythingyoudon’twantto

• canmakenewonlinefriends.

Thereareplentyofforumsforcarersandforpeopleaffectedbycancer.Youcanchoosewhateverbestsuitsyoursituation.Justrememberwhenyou’reusingforumsthatyoumuststaysafe:

• Avoidusingyourrealname–makeupanicknameinstead.

• Avoidgivingoutpersonalinformation,forexamplewhichschoolyougotoorwhereyoulive.

• Itisn’tagoodideatomeetupwithsomeoneyou’vetalkedtoinaforum–theymaynotbewhotheysaytheyare.

Attheendofthisbookletwe’velistedlotsoforganisationsandwebsitesthatcanhelp–seechapter13.

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Looking after yourself

Eating – food and feelings 50

Sleeping 50

Making time for you 52

Drugs and alcohol 52

Self-harm 53

8


50

Eating – food and feelings

Yes,weknowit’sobvious,butyoumustremembertoeat.Andeathealthily.Someofusdidn’tfeellikeeating,becauseweweresoworriedwefeltsick.Andsomeofusatealotasawayofcoping.

Beingayoungcarercanbeveryhard,bothphysicallyandmentally.Youmaybehavingabadday,orbetoobusytobotheraboutfood.Butyourbodyneedsfoodforenergy.Andyouneedenergytocareforsomeonewhoislivingwithcancer.

Eating disorders

Sometimesfoodbecomesaproblemwhenit’susedtohelpyoucopewithpainfulsituationsorfeelings,ortorelievestress.Ifthisishowyoudealwithemotionsandfeelings,andyou’reunhappyaboutit,thenyoushouldtrytotalktosomeoneyoutrust.

Sleeping

‘My room became a sanctuary – somewhere relaxing just for me.’ Sara, 18Whenwewerehelpingcareforsomeonewithcancer,wecouldhavedonewithalotmoresleep.Thiswasforlotsofreasons,butthemainone,andtheoneweallshared,wasworry.

Itcanbehardtoswitchyourbrainoffatnight.Yourheadhitsthepillowandyourmindgoesintooverdrive.Thinkingabout

Lookingafteryourself

51

thepersonwho’sill.Thinkingaboutwhatwillhappeninthefuture.Andallthatworryingkeepsyouawake.

Youmayalsofindthattherearepeoplecominginandoutofyourhomeatdifferenttimes,andthatcanbeadistractionifyouaretryingtogettosleep.Oritcouldbethatthepersonyou’recaringforishavingabadnight,whichthenkeepsyouawake.

Herearesomethingswe’dsuggesttogetagoodnight’ssleep:

• Readabook–itwillfocusyourmindonsomethingotherthancancerbeforeyougotosleep.

• Haveabath–ifyoulike,youcouldaddsomethinglikelavenderoilorbathsoak,whichcanhelpyourelax.

• Lightsomecandles.

• Haveawarmdrink.

• ListentoarelaxationtapeorCD.

• Writeadiary–ifyougetallyourthoughtsoutonpaper,theywon’tbequitesobusyinyourhead.


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Making time for you

It’seasytofeelguiltyorselfishaboutgoingoutandenjoyingyourself.Wealldid.Weworriedthatifwewentouttoseeourfriendsthensomethingmighthappentothepersonwewerecaringfor.Andwefeltguiltyforhavingagoodtimewhensomeonesoclosetouswasill.

It’simportant,foryourownsake,thatyoumaketimeforyourselftodothethingsyoushouldbedoing.Thismightincludecatchingupwithfriends,goingshopping,playingsports,doingsomeart,orgoingtothecinema.Thingsliketheseareanimportantpartoflife.

Ifyou’reworriedaboutgoingout,talktothepersonyou’recaringfor.Letthemknowhowyoufeel.It’slikelythatthey’llwantyoutogooutandhavefun.Theywillwanttoseeyouhappy,becausetheyloveyou.

Drugs and alcohol

Lotsofyoungpeopleexperimentwithdrugsandalcohol.Butifyou’restressedorupset,youmaybeusingdrugsoralcoholtoblockoutyourfeelings.

Ifyouthinkyou’redrinkingtoomuch,orifyou’retakingdrugstohelpyoucopewithwhat’shappeninginyourlife,youshouldtrytogethelpassoonaspossible.Trytalkingtofriendsandfamily.Orifyoudon’tfeelcomfortabledoingthat,therearelotsofhelplinesandgroupsyoucouldgotoforsupport.Theirphonenumbersareinthebackofthis

Lookingafteryourself

53

bookletinchapter13.YoumayalsowanttogotoyourGP,whocanoffercounsellingandsupport.

‘I started doing solvents. From 11 until I was 14 I was looking after my mum and didn’t quite realise how much it was affecting me, because I just put it to the back of my head.’Frankie, 19Perhapsthereareotherthingsyoucoulddotohelpyouchillout,forexamplegoingswimmingorforawalk.Changeyourroutinesothatyou’renotthinkingaboutdrugsoralcoholatcertainpointsoftheday.Andifyourfriendsaredrinkingheavilyortakingdrugs,itcouldbetimetorethinkwhoyouhangoutwith.

Self-harm

Oneintenteenagersself-harms.Self-harmiswhenyoudeliberatelyhurtyourself.Self-harmislinkedwithdepression,anditusuallyaffectsgirlsmorethanboys.

Ifyou’rehelpingcareforsomeonewithcancer,youmaybeatriskofself-harming.Ifyou’vehadthoughtsaboutself-harming,orifyou’vestartedtohurtyourself,youmustgethelp.Tellarelativeorfriend.Orcalloneofthehelplinenumberslistedinchapter13.YoushouldalsomakeanappointmentwithyourGPortalktoyouryoungcarers’workerifyou’reworriedthatyoumayhavedepression.

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9Talking to doctors and nurses

Asking questions 56

Feeling invisible 57

Who else can give you information? 59


56

When you’re affected by cancer, you’ll probably meet a lot of doctors and nurses. This could be in the hospital, or at home.

Inchapter1weintroducedyoutoprettymucheveryonewecouldthinkof.Youcouldtakethisbookletwithyouwhenyougotothehospital,soyoucanrefertoiteachtimeyoumeetsomeonenew.Itwillhelpyouunderstandtheirjobandaskthemtherightquestions.

Asking questions

Ifyouwanttoknowaboutthehealthofthepersonyou’recaringfor,doctorsandnursesarethebestpeopletoask.Theyaretreatingthepersonwhohascancer,sotheyhavealltheirmedicalnotes.Iftheyhavepermissionfromthepersonyou’recaringfor,it’sverylikelythey’llbehappytotalktoyou.

Itcansometimesbedifficultapproachingadoctororanurse,becausetheymightseemveryimportant.Butdoctorsandnursesarepeople,justlikeyouare.

‘I used to take a pen and paper to the hospital. If the doctor was too busy to talk to me, I would write down my questions and ask an adult to pass them on.’Cerys, 13

Talkingtodoctorsandnurses

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Wefounditusefultowritedownanyquestionswewantedtoaskinanotebook,sowehadthemallreadytoaskwhenwespoketothedoctorornurse.

Ifyoufeelshyornervous,youcanaskanadulttospeaktothedoctorornurseforyou.

Feeling invisible

Someofusfoundthatthedoctorsandnursestalkeddirectlytotheadults,nottous.

Thiswasreallyannoying,asitmadeusfeellikeourquestions,thoughtsandexperiencesdidn’tmatter.Herewewere,helpingcareforsomeonewithcancer,andwefeltinvisible.

Ifyoufindthishappeningtoyou,speakupaboutit.Talktoanolderfamilymember,sothattheyknowyou’refeelingleftout.


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Talkingtodoctorsandnurses

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Thatway,theycantrytoincludeyounexttimethedoctorornursecomesaround.

‘I had to learn how to change my dad’s dressings. When she was showing us, the nurse talked to my mum – she didn’tspeak to me.’Abdul, 12

Who else can give you information?

Thereareotherpeoplewhocantellyouabitmoreaboutcanceranditstreatments.Forexample,theMacmillanSupportLinehasqualifiedcancernursesontheendofthephone.Theycantalkyouthroughthingslikechemotherapy,andletyouknowwhattoexpect.Ifyou’dliketospeaktoanurse,call0808 808 00 00.

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10Coping with death

Facing reality 62

When it happens 64

The funeral 64

What happens now? 65

Grief 66


62

Not everyone who has cancer dies from their illness. Many people make a full recovery. But if someone you love does die of cancer, it feels like the end of your world. And it will take a long time for life to feel in any way ‘normal’ again.

Beforeyoureadthischapter,wejustwantyoutoknowonething.Itmaybetheworsttimeinyourliferightnow,butitwon’tlastforever.Youwillgetthroughthis.

Facing reality

Thoseofuswhocaredforsomeonewithterminalcancerfounditeasierifeveryonewashonest.Beinghonest–abouteverything–canmakeitlessfrighteningforeverybody.

However,ifthepersonyou’recaringforhasbeentoldthattheyaregoingtodie,itcanbehardtoaccept.Thisiscalleddenial,andit’sanormalreaction.

‘My mum drank because she couldn’t cope with the fact that she was going to die.’ Rhiannon, 16

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Ifthepersonwithcancerisindenial,itcanbeveryhardtocommunicatewiththem.Therearecertainthingsthattheymaynottalkabout.Whileitmaybeupsettingforyou,denialisastrongcopingtoolandneedstoberespected.Somepeoplewilleventuallyaccepttheirsituation,butsomestayindenial.Ifthathappens,trytoacceptit.

Beforetheydie,thepersonyou’recaringforwillgetveryill.Trytobepreparedforthis,asitwillbeupsetting.It’sagoodideatoasklotsofquestions,sothatyouknowwhattoexpect.

Iftheygetveryill,orifyourfamilydecidesthattheycan’tcopeorneedabreak,thepersonmaygointoahospice.Ahospiceisabitlikeahospital.Theyhavespecialnurseswhoprovidepainreliefforthepersonwho’sill,andwhohelpthepersonandtheirfamilycopewiththeirfeelings.

Somehospiceswillletyoustayovernightfromtimetotime.Ifyou’dliketodothis,askoneofthenurseswhetherthisispossible.

Atthisstage,you’llhavesomeverydifficultdecisionstomake,andtalkingtothenursesanddoctorscanhelpyouwiththis.Nurseswhoprovidepalliativecare(specialcareattheendoflife)topeoplewithcancerwillknowwhatyouaregoingthrough,andtheycanhelpyoumakesenseofwhat’shappening.

Peoplemaythinkthat,becauseyou’reyoung,theyneedtoprotectyouwhensomeonedies.Inourexperience,thatistheworstthingtodo.Someofusfeltourfamilytookawayourchoices.Weweren’tallowedtomakedecisionsforourselves,andthatwasreallyfrustrating.Ifthishappens,ayoungcarers’workercouldspeaktothehospiceorhospitalstaffforyou.


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Behonestwithyourfamilyaboutwhatyouwant.Ifyouwanttobethereattheend,makesurethatpeopleknowthatandthattheyrespectyourrighttodoso.

Ifyou’drathernotbethere,that’sokaytoo.

When it happens

Ifyou’vedecidedthatyouwanttobethereattheend,knowingwhattoexpectcanhelptoprepareyou.

Whensomeoneisdyingtheycanoftenstillhearyou,eveniftheycan’trespond,sokeeptalkingtothem.

Themomentofdeathisnotalwaysrecognisable,buttherearesomephysicalchangesoractionsthatyoumaynotice.Youwon’tknowhowyou’llfeeluntilthishappens.Somepeoplesaytheyfeelrelievedthatthepainandsufferingisnowover.

The funeral

Yourfamilywillusuallystartplanningthefuneralwithinacoupleofdays.Youmayhaveafuneraldirector,oravicarorotherreligiousleader,cometoyourhome.They’llwanttotalktoyouabouttheperson,andshareyourmemories.Youmayfindthatthishelpsyoufeelbetter,becauseyou’retalkingaboutthegoodtimesyouhad.

Ifyouwanttogetinvolvedwiththefuneral,makesureyoutellyourfamily.Itmaybethatyou’dliketoreadapoem,doa

Copingwithdeath

65

specialreading,orsimplytalkabouttheperson.Tellthepersonwho’sresponsibleforplanningthefuneralthatyou’dliketodothis.

Youcouldalsohelpchoosethemusic.Orperhapsthere’saspecialwishthatthepersonhadthattheytoldyouabout–makesureyouletsomeoneknow.

Ifyoudon’twanttogotothefuneral,oryou’renotallowedtogo,theremaybeotherwaysthatyoucansaygoodbye.Perhapsplantafloweroratree.Youcouldtieamessagetoaballoonandletitgo.Ifthere’saspecialplacethetwoofyouusedtogo,perhapsyoucouldvisitandsayafewwords.

What happens now?

Whenit’sallover,lifeathomecanfeelreallyflat.Thisisespeciallytrueifthepersonwhohasdiedwasbeingcaredforathome.

Beforethepersonwewerecaringfordied,someofushadnursescomingaroundtohelpout,orotherfamilymemberscomingtovisit.Soitfeltveryquietforawhileuntilweadjustedtothenewsituation.

Giveyourselfplentyoftimeandspace,anddon’tputtoomuchpressureonyourself.

Youmayworrythatyoucan’ttalkaboutthepersonwhohasdiedtoyourfamily,incaseitupsetsthem.Makesurethatyoudofindsomeonewhoyoucantalkto.Itcouldbesomeoneatacancersupportgroup,oratrustedfriend.Maybeyoucouldtalk


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toayoungcarers’workeroracounsellor.Justmakesureyoudon’tbottleyourfeelingsup.

Youmayalsoneedtosortthroughthebelongingsofthepersonwhohasdied.Thiscanbeveryupsetting,andfeelveryfinal.Youmightnotwanttodothisforawhile.That’sokay.Makesureyoutalktotherestofyourfamily,andtrytocometoanagreementaboutwhenwouldbeagoodtime.

Ifthere’sanythingyou’dliketokeep,suchasawatch,aringorphotographs,thenspeakup.

Grief

Themostimportantthingtorememberaboutgriefisthatitaffectseveryoneindifferentways.

Somepeoplecryalot.Otherpeoplekeepthemselvesbusy.Trytounderstandthateveryonewillcopeintheirownway.

Yourgriefisuniquetoyou.Itmaycomeandgoinwaves.You’llhavegooddaysandbaddays.

Someofusfoundithelpfultogetbacktoourusualroutinequitequickly.Butafewofustookalongtimebeforewewerereadytofacetheworldagain.

Trytomakesurethatyoudon’tcutyourselfofffromlife.Itcanbehardertoadjustifyou’vebeenoutofschoolorcollegeandawayfromyourfriendsforalongtime.

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67

Ifyoufeelthatyouwanttostayconnectedtothepersonwho’sdied,therearelotsofwaysyoucandothis.Writethemaletter.(Itmightsoundsilly,butitworks.)Orperhapsyoucouldputtogetheramemorybox.Maybethere’safavouritephotothatyoucouldputinaframe.

‘I used to talk to my mum after she died. It helped me. I still talk to her now – I know she can hear me.’ Jamal, 15

Don’tbeafraidtotalkaboutthepersonyou’velost–youmightwanttotelllittlestoriesortalkabouttheircancer.Anddon’tworryifyougooverandoverthesamestories–it’sgoodtoremember.

Eventually,yourgriefwilllift.You’llhavefewerbaddays.Andyou’llstarttofeellikeanormalpersonagain.

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11Life after cancer

Moving on 71


70

When you’ve been a young carer, it’s very strange when it comes to an end. For some of us, our situation meant that the end was immediate and final. Others had less certainty. But for all of us, our lives had changed forever.

Itmaybethatthepersonyou’vebeencaringforhasgotbetter,andtheydon’tneedasmuchsupportanymore.Itcanbetemptingtotrytokeeponcaringfortheminthesameway.Butyoushouldgiveyourselfabreak–youdeserveit.Andafterall,theywillprobablytellyouiftheyeverneedsomemorehelp.

Whenyoustopbeingsomebody’scarer,youmightfindthatyouhavealotoftimeonyourhands.Itmaymakeyoufeelquitedown.Oryoumaygetill,becausestresscatchesupwithyou.Giveyourselfsometimetorecover.You’vebeenthroughalot.

Youmightwanttofillyourtimewithanewhobby.Manyofusbecamevolunteers,sothatwecouldputourskillsandexperiencesascarerstogooduse.Wefoundthatwewerestrongerpeople.Wewereabletodothingsthatotherpeoplecouldn’tdo.Wewereemotionallymoremature.

Andsoon,ourlivesstartedtogetbacktonormal.Wesawourfriendsmore.Wetookupnewactivities.Wedidexams.Wemadedecisionsaboutourfuture.

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Moving on

Therewillcomeatimewhenyouconsidermovingawayfromhome.Youmaygotocollegeoruniversity,orgetajobawayfromhome.Andthat’sfine.

Youmayfeelguiltyaboutleavinghome.Youmayworryaboutthecancerreturning,orbesadbecauseyou’releavingsomeonewhohaslostalovedone.Thisishowwefelttoo.

Butyouhaveyourwholelifeaheadofyou,andyourexperiencewithcancershouldn’tstopyoudoingallthethingsyouwanttodo.

Letyourselfbeyoung.Letyourselfbehappy.Andmakethemostofallthewonderfulopportunitiesthatyouhave.

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12Glossary

74


Doctors often use unfamiliar and strange words that you may not understand. Here are some of the most common ones explained (in alphabetical order):

Anaesthetic (general) Adrugthatputspeopletosleepwhiletheyhaveanoperationorprocedure.

Anaesthetic (local) Adrug,creamorinjectiontomakepartofthebodytemporarilynumb.

BenignThismeansnon-cancerous.Benigntumoursusuallygrowslowlyanddon’tspread.

BiopsyThisiswhenadoctortakesasmallsampleoftissuefromthebodytobeexaminedunderamicroscope,toseewhetherornotthecellsarecancerous.

Blood count Thisisabloodtesttomeasurethenumberofplatelets,redbloodcellsandwhitebloodcellsintheblood.Plateletshelpthebloodclotifyouhaveacutorbecomebruised.Redbloodcellscarryoxygenaroundthebody.Whitebloodcellshelpdefendyourbodyagainstillness.

Cell division Theprocessbywhichcellsdivideintwo–doublingtheirnumbereachtime.Thisishowlivingthingsdevelopandgrow.

Glossary

75

Central line Athin,flexibletubeinsertedthroughtheveinneartheheartforchemotherapy.Oneendstaysoutsidethebody.

ChemotherapyTheuseofanti-cancerdrugstodestroycancercells.

ConsentAgreementtotreatment.

CytologyThemicroscopicstudyofindividualbodycells.Thisisveryimportantinmakingadiagnosis.

DiagnosisWhenthedoctorsknowthekindofdiseasethepatienthas.

Infertility Whensomeonecan’tgetpregnantormakesomeonepregnant.

Intravenous (IV) Thismeansthatadrugorfluidisgivenintoavein.

Hickman line Athintubeinsertedthroughtheskinofthechestintoaveinneartheheartforchemotherapy.Oneendstaysoutsidethebody.

LesionDamageorchangetobodytissuethatmayormaynotbecancer.

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Lymphatic system Partoftheimmunesystem–thebody’snaturaldefenceagainstinfectionanddisease.Thelymphaticsystemismadeupoforganssuchasbonemarrow,thethymus,thespleenandlymphnodes.

LymphomaThenamegiventocancersthatdevelopinthelymphaticsystem.

MalignantThismeanscancerous.Malignanttumourshavetheabilitytospreadtodifferentpartsofthebody.

MetastasisWhenthecancerhasspreadfromonepartofthebodytoanother.Cancerthathasspreadissometimescalledmetastaticdisease.

OncologyThestudyandpracticeoftreatingcancer.

PaediatricsThemedicalcareofchildren.

Palliative care Treatmentthat’sgiventohelpimprovequalityoflifebutnottocurethecancer.Palliativetreatmentaimstomeetthephysical,spiritual,psychologicalandsocialneedsofapersonwithcancer.

PortacathAthin,flexibletubeputintoavein.Ithasanopening(port)justundertheskinofthechest.

Glossary

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Primary cancer Acancerthatstartsinasingleareaofthebody(site).Mostcancers,otherthanleukaemiasandlymphomas,areprimarycancers.Seealsosecondarycancer.

PrognosisThewayadiseaseislikelytoaffectsomeoneinthefuture.

ProsthesisAspeciallymadereplacementforapartofthebodythathasbeenremoved.Forexample,anartificiallegorbreast.

RadiotherapyTheuseofhigh-energyx-raystodestroycancercells.

ScanAcomputer-generatedimageoftheinsideofthebody.

Secondary cancer Acancerthathasspreadtoanotherpartofthebody.

SteroidsAtypeofdrugthatcanhelptreatcancer.

SurgeryAnoperation.

TerminalThisiswhennomoretreatmentcanbegiventocontrolthecancer,andtheendoflifeisnear.

TumourAgrowthorlumpthatmayormaynotbecancer.

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13Further information

How Macmillan can help you 80

Other useful organisations 84

Further resources 90


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Cancer is the toughest fight most of us will ever face. But you don’t have to go through it alone. The Macmillan team is with you every step of the way.

Macmillan Support Line Thefree,confidentialphonelineisopenMonday–Friday,9am–8pm.Macmillan’scancersupportspecialistsprovideclinical,financial,emotionalandpracticalinformationandsupporttoanyoneaffectedbycancer.Call0808 808 00 00 oremailviathewebsite,macmillan.org.uk/talktous

Information centresMacmillan’sinformationandsupportcentresarebasedinhospitals,librariesandmobilecentres,andofferyoutheopportunitytospeakwithsomeoneface-to-face.Findyournearestoneatmacmillan.org.uk/informationcentres

Get in touch

Macmillan Cancer Support 89AlbertEmbankment,LondonSE17UQQuestions about cancer? Callfreeon0808 808 00 00 (Mon–Fri,9am–8pm)www.macmillan.org.uk Hard of hearing?Usetextphone08088080121orTextRelay.Non-English speaker? Interpretersareavailable.

Clear, reliable information about cancer

Macmillancanhelpyoubyphone,email,viaitswebsiteandpublicationsorinperson.Anditsinformationisfreetoeveryoneaffectedbycancer.

How Macmillan can help you

Furtherinformation

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PublicationsMacmillanprovidesexpert,up-to-dateinformationaboutdifferenttypesofcancer,testsandtreatments,andinformationaboutlivingwithandaftercancer.Itcansendyoufreeinformationinavarietyofformats,includingbooklets,leaflets,factsheetsandaudioCDs.MacmillancanalsoprovideitsinformationinBrailleandlargeprint.

Youcanfindallitsinformation,alongwithseveralvideos,onlineatmacmillan.org.uk/cancerinformation

Review Macmillan’s informationDidyoufindthisguidehelpful?Macmillanwouldbeinterestedtoknowsothatitcanimprovethenextedition.Youcouldevengetinvolvedbybecominganinformationreviewer,orbysharingyourstoryorphotosifyou’[email protected]

Need out-of-hours support? YoucanfindalotofinformationonMacmillan’swebsite,macmillan.org.ukFormedicalattentionoutofhours,pleasecontactyourGPfortheirout-of-hoursservice.

Someone to talk to

Whenyouorsomeoneyouknowhascancer,itcanbedifficulttotalkabouthowyou’refeeling.YoucancallMacmillan’scancersupportspecialiststotalkabouthowyoufeelandwhat’sworryingyou.

Macmillancanalsohelpyoufindsupportinyourlocalarea,soyoucanspeakface-to-facewithpeoplewhounderstandwhatyou’regoingthrough.


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Professional help

Macmillan’snurses,doctorsandotherhealthcareandsocialcareprofessionalsofferexperttreatmentandcare.Theyhelpindividualsandfamiliesdealwithcancerfromdiagnosisonwards,untiltheynolongerneedthishelp.

YoucanaskyourGP,hospitalconsultant,districtnurseorhospitalwardsisterifthereareanyMacmillanprofessionalsavailableinyourarea,orcallMacmillanon0808 808 00 00.

Support for each other

Nooneknowsmoreabouttheimpactcancerhasonaperson’slifethanthosewhohavebeenaffectedbyitthemselves.That’swhyMacmillanhelpstobringpeoplewithcancerandcarerstogetherintheircommunitiesandonline.

Support groupsYoucanfindoutaboutsupportgroupsinyourareabycallingMacmillanorbyvisitingmacmillan.org.uk/selfhelpandsupport

Online communityIfyou’re16orover,youcanalsoshareyourexperiences,askquestions,getandgivesupporttoothersinMacmillan’sonlinecommunityatmacmillan.org.uk/community

Furtherinformation

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Financial and work-related support

Havingcancercanbringextracosts.

Ifyou’vebeenaffectedinthisway,Macmillancanhelp.CalltheMacmillanSupportLine,andacancersupportspecialistwilltellyouaboutthebenefitsandotherfinancialhelpyoumaybeentitledto.

Ifyouwork,theycanalsogiveyouinformationaboutyourrightsatworkasanemployee,andhelpyoufindfurthersupport.

Macmillan Grants Moneyworriesarethelastthingapersonneedswhentheyhavecancer.AMacmillanGrantisaone-offpaymentforpeoplewithcancer,tocoveravarietyofpracticalneedsincludingheatingbills,extraclothing,oramuch-neededbreak.

Findoutmoreaboutthefinancialandwork-relatedsupportMacmillancanofferatmacmillan.org.uk/financialsupport

Learning about cancer

Youmayfinditusefultolearnmoreaboutcancerandhowtomanagetheimpactitcanhaveonyourlife.

YoucandothisonlineonMacmillan’sLearnZone–macmillan.org.uk/learnzone–whichoffersavarietyofe-learningcoursesandworkshops.There’salsoasectiondedicatedtosupportingpeoplewithcancer–idealforpeoplewhowanttolearnmoreaboutwhattheirrelativeorfriendisgoingthrough.

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Support for carers

Carers Direct Tel08088020202(Mon–Fri,9am–8pm,Sat–Sun,11am–4pm)www.nhs.uk/carersdirect/young/pages/young carershome.aspx Offersfreeandconfidentialinformationforcarers.Givesinformationabouthowtoaccessfinancialhelp,gettingabreakfromcaring,goingtoworkandmuchmore.Itswebsiteincludesasectionforyoungcarerswithinformationandvideos.

Carers Trust (Princess Royal Trust for Carers in Scotland) 32–36LomanStreet,[email protected] www.youngcarers.net Supportscarersofanyage,includingyoungcarers.Helpsyoungcarersthroughspecialisedservicesacross

theUKanditswebsiteyoungcarers.netwhichprovidesinformation,advice,emailsupport,supervisedmessageboardsandchatsessions.

Carers UK 20GreatDoverStreet,LondonSE14LXTel (England, Scotland and Wales) 08088087777Tel (Northern Ireland) 02890439843(Wed–Thu,10am–12pmand2–4pm)[email protected] OffersinformationandsupporttocarersacrosstheUK.Canputpeopleincontactwithsupportgroupsforcarersintheirarea.

Other useful organisations

Furtherinformation

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The Children’s Society’s Include Programme GroundFloor,Unit4,WessexBusinessPark,WessexWaySO211WPTel01962711511www.youngcarer.com Thisprogrammesupportsyoungcarersandtheirfamilies.Fromthewebsiteyoucansearchforlocalyoungcarers’projectsintheUK,andalsoaccessinformationforyoungcarers.TocontactTheChildren’sSociety,youcancall020 7841 4400orvisitchildrenssociety.org.uk

Crossroads Caring for Carers (Northern Ireland) 7RegentStreet,Newtownards,NorthernIrelandBT234ABTel02891814455www.crossroadscare.co.uk Acharityofferingrespiteforcarersbyprovidingthemwithamuch-neededbreak.

Crossroads Caring Scotland 24GeorgeSquare,GlasgowG21EGTel01412263793www.crossroads- scotland.co.uk Acharityprovidingshortbreaksforcarerswithintheirownhomes.HasservicesthroughoutScotlandthatprovidepracticalsupportforcarersofallages.

Help with money or work

Benefit Enquiry Line (England, Scotland, Wales)WarbreckHouse,WarbreckHillRoad,BlackpoolFY20YETel0800882200(Mon–Fri,8.30am–6.30pm)[email protected]/benefit-enquiry-line Providesadviceandinformationfordisabledpeopleandcarersontherangeofbenefitsavailable.

NI Direct (Northern Ireland) Tel 0800220674www.nidirect.gov.uk/money-tax-and-benefits

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Citizens Advice Providesfree,confidential,independentadviceonavarietyofissuesincludingfinancial,legal,housingandemployment.Findcontactdetailsforyourlocalofficeinthephonebookoratcitizensadvice.org.ukFindadvicefortheUKonline,inavarietyoflanguages,atadviceguide.org.uk

Citizens Advice Scotland www.cas.org.uk

Getting help with your feelings

Childline Tel08001111www.childline.org.uk ChildrenandyoungpeoplecancontactChildlineiftheyfeelworried,scared,stressedorjustwanttotalktosomeoneaboutanyproblem.Itoffersinformationandsupportthroughitshelplineandwebsite.Onthewebsiteyoucanwriteemails,postonmessageboardsandhavea1-2-1chatwithacounsellor.

Get Connected Tel08088084994(daily,1–11pm)Free text service80849(Mon–Fri,7–11pm)Emailthroughthewebsitewww.getconnected.org.uk AUK-widehelplineforyoungpeopleunder25whohaveaproblembutdon’tknowwheretoturn.Alsoprovidesanonlinedirectoryofhelp.Youcangetincontactbyphone,email,textandwebchat.

National Self Harm Network (NSHN) POBox7264,NottinghamNG16WJTel08006226000(Thu–Sat,7–11pm,Sun,6.10–10.30pm)[email protected] Acharityofferingsupport,adviceandadvocacyservicestopeopleaffectedbyselfharmdirectlyorinacarerole.Hasanonlinesupportforum.

Furtherinformation

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SamaritansChris,POBox9090,StirlingFK82SATel08457909090Emailjo@samaritans.orgwww.samaritans.org Providesconfidentialandnon-judgementalemotionalsupport,24hoursaday,forpeoplewhoareexperiencingfeelingsofdistressordespair.

YoungMindsSuite11,BadenPlace,CrosbyRow,LondonSE11YWParents’ helpline08088025544(Mon–Fri,9.30pm–4pm)www.youngminds.org.uk Acharityofferinginformationtoyoungpeopleandchildrenaboutmentalhealthandemotionalwell-being.Alsoprovidessupportandadviceforanyadultworriedabouttheemotionalproblems,behaviourormentalhealthofachildoryoungperson.

Support after the death of someone close

Childhood Bereavement Network 8WakleyStreet,[email protected] bereavementnetwork.org.uk Thisnationalnetworksupportschildrenandyoungpeoplewho’vehadsomeoneclosetothemdie.Ithasanonlinedirectorywhereyoucanfindlocalservices.

RD4U Tel08088081677(Mon–Fri,9.30am–5pm)[email protected] Designedforyoungpeoplebyyoungpeople,RD4UispartofCruseBereavementCare.Itsupportsyoungpeopleafterthedeathofsomeoneclose.

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Winston’s Wish 3rdFloor,CheltenhamHouse,ClarenceStreet,CheltenhamGL503JRTel08452030405Emailinfo@winstonswish.org.ukwww.winstonswish.org.uk Helpschildrenandyoungpeoplere-adjusttolifeafterthedeathofaparentorsibling.

Support if you have a disability

DIAL UK [email protected] Anindependent,UK-widenetworkoflocalDisabilityInformationandAdviceLineservices(DIALs)runbyandfordisabledpeople.

Support for families

Family Action 501–505KingslandRoad,LondonE84AUTel02072546251Grants service02072546251(Tue–Thu,2–4pm)www.family-action.org.uk Offerssupportservicesforchildrenandfamilies,includingsupportprojectsforyoungcarers.Providesgrantsforpeopleandfamiliesinneed.

Otherusefulorganisations

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Online support

Alotofinformationaboutcancerisavailableontheinternet.Somewebsitesareexcellent;othershavemisleadingorout-of-dateinformation.

Thesiteslistedhereareconsideredbynursesanddoctorstocontainaccurateinformationandareregularlyupdated. Macmillan Cancer Support www.macmillan.org.uk Findoutmoreaboutlivingwiththepractical,emotionalandfinancialeffectsofcancer.Macmillan’swebsitecontainsexpert,accurate,up-to-dateinformationaboutcanceranditstreatments,including:

• alltheinformationfromtheir150+bookletsand360+factsheets

Further resources• videosfeaturingreal-lifestoriesfrompeopleaffectedbycancerandinformationfrommedicalprofessionals

• howMacmillancanhelp,theservicestheyofferandwheretogetsupport

• howtocontacttheircancersupportspecialists,includinganemailformtosendyourquestions

• localsupportgroupssearch,linkstoothercancerorganisationsandadirectoryofinformationmaterials

• ahugeonlinecommunityofpeopleaffectedbycancersharingtheirexperiences,adviceandsupport

• asectionwrittenspeciallyforcarersatmacmillan.org.uk/carers

Furtherinformation

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The Northern Ireland Regional Young Carers Service www.youngcarersni.com Aninteractivewebsitethatallowsyoutosignupforactivities,informationandhelpandsupportservicesinyourregionofNorthernIreland.

Riprap www.riprap.org.uk Asiteforteenagerswhohaveaparentwithcancer.Youcanconnectwithotherteenagersandfindoutabouthowtheydealwiththeirsituations.Youcanalsosendanemailwhichwillbeansweredbyspecialists.

Siblinks www.siblinks.org Anonlineforumandinformationresourceforyoungpeopleaged13–25whohaveorhavehadafamilymemberaffectedbycancer.

Youth Access www.youthaccess.org.uk YouthAccessisthenationalmembershiporganisationforyoungpeople’sinformation,advice,counsellingandsupportservices(YIACS).FindyourlocalYouthAccessserviceviathewebsite.

Youth Health Talk www.youthhealthtalk.org Acollectionofinterviewswithyoungpeopleabouttheirexperiencesofhealthissuesorillness.Youcanwatchvideos,listentotheaudioorreadtheinterviews.

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Helpful books

Hello, and how are you?MacmillanCancerSupport,2012,freeThisisaguideforadultcarersofpeoplewithcancer.Itcouldbeusefulforanyadultswhoarehelpingsupportthepersonyoucarefor.It’swrittenbycarers,forcarers.Theycanorderitbycalling0808 808 00 00orvisitingbe.macmillan.org.uk

Out of the blue: making memories last when someone has diedWinston’sWish,2006,£8.99(plusP&P)Thisbookaimstohelpyouifsomeoneclosetoyouhasdied.It’snarratedbyteenagers.Ittalksaboutwhatyoumightbefeeling,andincludesactivities.

Stories about surviving cancerFranklinWatts,2010,£12.99Thisbookhasstoriesaboutyoungpeoplewhofacedcancer,aseitherapatientorafamilymemberofsomeonewith

cancer,andwhoallcameouttheotherside.Italsoincludesbasicinformationaboutcancer.

Straight talk about death for teenagers: how to cope with losing someone you loveGrollmanEA,BeaconPress,1999,£15.50Thisbookwaswrittenaftertheauthorspoketothousandsofteenagersandfoundtheyoftenfeltforgottenaftersomeonehasdied.Ittalksabouthowyoumayfeel,givesadviceandreassuresyouthatgriefisnormal.

Taking care of ourselves: the young carers’ recipe bookTheChildren’sSociety,2005,freeAvailablefromyoungcarer.com/sites/default/files/imce _user_files/Resources/E-bulletins/ycirecipe_book.pdf

The secret CStokesJ,Winston’sWish,2000,£5.95(plusP&P)Thisbooktriestoanswersomeofthequestionsandworriesyoumayhaveaboutsomeone

Furtherinformation

93

inyourfamilyhavingcancer.Itcanhelpyou(andanyadultsclosetoyou)talkaboutanydifficultfeelingsyoumayhave.

The selfish pig’s guide to caring: how to cope with the emotional and practical aspects of caring for someoneMarriottH,LittleBrown,2009,£9.99Hasachapterforyoungcarers.

What’s up with Bridget’s mom? Medikidz explain breast cancerChilman-BlairK,Medikidz,2009,£6.99AcomicbookbasedonBridget,who’sanA-gradestudentandstaroftheschoolsoccerteam,andherrelationshipwithhermum.Youcanalsoorderthiscomicandothersfromtherangeforfreeatbe.macmillan.org.uk

When your brother or sister gets cancerChildren’sCancerandLeukaemiaGroup,2009,freeThisbookletisfor9-to

16-year-oldswhohaveabrotherorsisterwithcancer.Itdescribeswhatcancerisandhowit’streated.Youngpeopledescribetheirexperiences,howtheyfeltandhowtheycoped.It’savailabletodownloadfromcclg.org.uk/products_files/CCLG-WhenYourBrotherSister GetsCancer.pdf

Young carersHelptheHospices,2008,freeThisisasectionoftheHelpforHospicesCarers’Pack.It’sdesignedtohelpyouifyoucareforsomeonewithaseriousillness.It’sfreeandcanbedownloadedfromhelpthehospices.org.uk/hweb/get_Document.aspx?id=3910

Young carers’ poetry bookTheChildren’sSociety,2005,freeAvailabletodownloadfromyoung-carer.com/sites/default/files/imce_user_files/Resources/E-bulletins/poetry_book_2005.pdf

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Furtherresources

14Your notes and questions


96

You could use these pages to write down any questions you want to ask, and then to write down the answers you receive.

Yournotesandquestions

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98

Disclaimer,thanksandsources

99

Disclaimer

Wemakeeveryefforttoensurethattheinformationweprovideisaccurate

andup-to-date,butitshouldnotberelieduponasasubstituteforspecialist

professionaladvicetailoredtoyoursituation.Sofarasispermittedbylaw,

Macmillandoesnotacceptliabilityinrelationtotheuseofanyinformation

containedinthispublication,orthird-partyinformationorwebsitesincluded

orreferredtoinit.Somephotographsareofmodels.

Thanks

ThisbooklethasbeenwrittenandeditedbyMacmillanCancerSupport’sCancer

InformationDevelopmentteam.Itisbasedoncontentoriginallyproducedwith

supportfromtheArdenCancerNetwork’sYoungPeople’sGroup;theOxford

CityYoungCarers’ProjectForum;andSpiralChildren’sBereavementService

inNottinghamshire.IthasbeenapprovedbyCharlotteArgyle,CarersSupport

ProgrammeManager,andbyMacmillan’smedicaleditor,DrTerryPriestman,

ConsultantClinicalOncologist.

Withthanksto:Aphra,Sara,Eve,DavidandtheArdenCancerNetwork’s

YoungPeople’sGroup;Jess;theOxfordCityYoungCarers’ProjectForum;

SpiralChildren’sBereavementServiceinNottinghamshire;KarenAylward,

MacmillanFamilySupportWorker,EastbourneDistrictGeneralHospital;

JuneHindmarsh,CASTMacmillanSchoolAwarenessCoordinator,

SouthTynesideYoungCarers’Service;DanielPhelps,DevelopmentandPolicy

Officer(YoungCarers),CarersTrust;andthepeopleaffectedbycancerwho

reviewedthisedition.

SomecarerquotessourcedfromYouthhealthtalk–www.youthhealthtalk.org


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Sources

GatesMF,LackyNR.YoungstersCaringforAdultswithCancer.Journal of Nursing

Scholarship.1998.30(1):11–15.

ThePrincessRoyalTrustforCarers,TheChildren’sSociety.Supporting Young

Carers: A Resource for Schools.CarersTrust,London.2010.

YoungCarers.Social workers: how they could help.www.youngcarers.net/who_

can_help_me/86/97(accessedSeptember2012).

5 waysyou can help

someone withcancer

Share your cancer experience Supportpeoplelivingwithcancerbytellingyourstory,online,inthemediaorfacetoface.

Campaign for change Weneedyourhelptomakesureeveryonegetstherightsupport.Takeanaction,bigorsmall,forbettercancercare.

Help someone in your community Alifttoanappointment.Helpwiththeshopping.Orjustacupofteaandachat.Couldyoulendahand?

Raise money Whateveryoulikedoingyoucanraisemoneytohelp.Takepartinoneofoureventsorcreateyourown.

Give money Bigorsmall,everypennyhelps.Tomakeaone-offdonationseeover.

Call us to find out more

0300 1000 200macmillan.org.uk/getinvolved

Can you do something to help?We hope this booklet has been useful to you. It’s just one of our many publications that are available free to anyone affected by cancer. They’re produced by our cancer information specialists who, along with our nurses, benefits advisers, campaigners and volunteers, are part of the Macmillan team. When people are facing the toughest fight of their lives, we’re there to support them every step of the way.

We want to make sure no one has to go through cancer alone, so we need more people to help us. When the time is right for you, here are some ways in which you can become a part of our team.

Please fill in your personal details Mr/Mrs/Miss/Other

Name

Surname

Address

Postcode

Phone

Email

Pleaseacceptmygiftof£

(Pleasedeleteasappropriate)Iencloseacheque/postalorder/CharityVouchermadepayabletoMacmillanCancerSupport

ORdebitmy:Visa/MasterCard/CAFCharityCard/Switch/Maestro

Cardnumber

Validfrom Expirydate

Issueno Securitynumber

Signature

Date / /

Don’t let the taxman keep your moneyDoyoupaytax?Ifso,yourgiftwillbeworth25%moretous–atnoextracosttoyou.Allyouhavetodoisticktheboxbelow,andthetaxofficewillgive25pforeverypoundyougive.

IamaUKtaxpayerandIwouldlikeMacmillanCancerSupporttotreatalldonationsIhavemadeforthefouryearspriortothisyear,andalldonationsImakeinthefuture,asGiftAiddonations,untilInotifyyouotherwise.

I confirm I have paid or will pay an amount of Income Tax and/or Capital Gains Tax in each tax year, that is at least equal to the tax that Charities & CASCs I donate to will reclaim on my gifts. I understand that other taxes such as VAT and Council Tax do not qualify and that Macmillan Cancer Support will reclaim 25p of tax on every £1 that I give.

Macmillan Cancer Support and our trading companies would like to hold your details in order to contact you about our fundraising, campaigning and services for people affected by cancer. If you would prefer us not to use your details in this way please tick this box.

In order to carry out our work we may need to pass your details to agents or partners who act on our behalf.

Pleasecutoutthisformandreturnitinanenvelope(nostamprequired)to:SupporterDonations,MacmillanCancerSupport,FREEPOSTLON15851,89AlbertEmbankment,LondonSE17UQ

If you’d rather donate online go to macmillan.org.uk/donate

#

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Furtherresources

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Cancer is the toughest fight most of uswill ever face. If you or a loved one hasbeen diagnosed, you need a team ofpeople in your corner, supporting youevery step of the way. That’s who we are.

Wearethenursesandtherapistshelpingyouthroughtreatment.Theexpertsontheendofthephone.Theadviserstellingyouwhichbenefitsyou’reentitledto.Thevolunteersgivingyouahandwiththeeverydaythings.Thecampaignersimprovingcancercare.Thecommunitysupportingyouonline,anytime.Thefundraiserswhomakeitallpossible.

Youdon’thavetofacecanceralone.Wecangiveyouthestrengthtogetthroughit.WeareMacmillanCancerSupport.

Questions about living with cancer? Call free on 0808 808 00 00 (Mon–Fri, 9am–8pm)

Alternatively, visit macmillan.org.uk

Hard of hearing? Use textphone 0808 808 0121, or Text Relay. Non-English speaker? Interpreters available.

Printedusingsustainablematerial.Pleaserecycle.

©MacmillanCancerSupport,2013.2ndedition.MAC13009.Nextplannedreview2015.MacmillanCancerSupport,registeredcharityinEnglandandWales(261017),Scotland(SC039907)andtheIsleofMan(604).

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