Let’s Talk About It

…..On Being A Parent Of A Prodigal

Presenter | Paula IsaksonFounder Faith Family Reunion

www.faithfamilyreunion.com

My familyMom, dad and daughter

Growing Up In a Pastor’s familyMom, daughter and father the pastor

My Parents Brought me up faithfully in the

word

But I left the faith for over 25 years

Todays Topic What causes parents to keep quiet when it comes to their prodigals? Is it a feeling of failure, anger or sadness?

Learn how to begin to “open up” with others and discover that you are not alone.

Learn how the process of “talking about it” can lead to an internal healing process enabling you to reach out to your prodigal.

Let’s Talk About It | On Being A Parent Of A Prodigal

Questions• How many of you are in church

leadership?

• How many of you know of parents with prodigals?

• How many of you have prodigals in your lives?

Deeper Questions

•Why Is The Subject Of Our Kids Leaving Faith and the Church So Hard To Speak About?

•If You Have A Prodigal In Your Life, What Do You Do When Your Feelings Overwhelm You?

My StoryTestimony of coming back

to faith

Where My experiences as a prodigal have taken me

Felt a call to reach out to parents of prodigals and developed Faith Family Reunion

Now work on this ministry outreach with my father Dr. Jakob K. Heckert

• Faith Family Reunion

• A ministry outreach to parents of prodigal

• Goal is to addresses parents emotional needs and to get parents to start opening up and talking about the situation instead of keeping the hurt buried inside

• Belief that meeting with others and sharing experiences helps one realize that they are not alone and can help with the internal healing process

Scripture

• Matthew 18:20 | For where two or three are gathered in my name there I am with them.

• Proverbs 12:25 | Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Ways to begin to open upInitiate A Group Meeting In Your Congregation

How| Reach Out To Parents of ProdigalsOffer A Weekly Bible StudySet Up Weekly Meeting Time & LocationPut A Notice In Church Bulletin and Church Newsletter

Why | Address The Emotional Needs of Parents (Grandparents and Other Family Members) With ProdigalsBuild A Community For Parents To InteractEstablish Group Correspondence To Provide Encouragement Among Members

What It Can Provide | An Outlet For Parents (Grandparents and Other Family Members)A Place and Time To Receive EncouragementA Bible Study That Addresses The Subject And Provides Further EncouragementCreates A Community That Can Be A Resource To Hurting Parents And Families In the Congregation (Giving Them A Place To Go)

More Ideas | Visit http://faithfamilyreunion.nextmeta.com/core-beliefs

Idea for Class CurriculumBackground | Encouraged to write curriculum by mentors Concordia Center for the Family Ann Arbor MI

Pilot Program | September 2015 at Concordia Ann Arbor. Panel included:

Dr. Jakob K Heckert (Father and Theological Editor Faith Family Reunion)

Ben & Jennifer Fruedenberg (Concordia Center For The Family, Ann Arbor MI)

Bob McKinney (DCE Concordia University Ann Arbor MI)

Eunice McKinney (DCE & Counselor)

Mom With Prodigal (From Ann Arbor MI)

Grandmother With Prodigal (Counselor, From Ann Arbor MI)

June McCarty (Counselor, From Britton MI)

Vicar David McCarty (Transitional Vicar, Immanuel Lutheran Church from Britton MI)

Additional assistance: Ruth Koch (Overseer Board Concordia University Ann Arbor, Counselor), Sandy Wendehelin DCE Bethlehem Lutheran Denver CO, Pastor Hellmer’s St. Lukes in Golden CO, Mom with prodigal from Denver CO

Intro faith family reunionSample Class Curriculum

Getting Started

Introduction to Group Leader’s Packet | Pages 1 - 2

Intended Group Audience

(Page 3)

• Parents of Prodigals• Grandparents• Individuals that are believers and have prodigal family members• Pastors and professional church workers if they have a prodigal in their family

Things To Consider As Group Leader

(Pages 3 - 4)

• Sensitivity of Subject Matter• Parents come to class blaming selves - important to stress forgiveness• Dealing with a multitude of emotions and reasons why children have left the faith• If you are going to lead the group, are you also dealing with a prodigal in your life? (don’t let that discourage you from leading)

Different Family Scenarios

(Pages 4 - 9)

• Reasons children leave the faith• Family dynamics - Highlights 1. Leaving the faith or organized traditional church2. Toll on family, parents3. Response by each parent4. Vulnerability of meeting in a group5. Fear of judgement6. Family life, different styles of family• Forgiveness is KEY

Getting Started | Don’t Be Discouraged

(Page 9)

• After a thorough review of pages 4 -9 youmay want to quit and not even start a group• Questions to Ask Yourself:1. What happens if parents just keep this sorrowto themselves? What will happen to them?2. Could they benefit by sharing?3. What would happen if we all started talkingabout it?

Start Out Slow

(Page 10)

• Broach subject and gently preach about ‘the prodigal’• Start a bible study with parents of prodigals but don’t delve into a study dealing with prodigals• The key is to get parents together who have “in common” their kids leaving the faith

Suggested Introductory And Additional Studies

(Page 10)

Great Authors and books on prodigals from:Kenneth BaileyHenri NouwenDr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minrth and PaulMeier M.D.James BanksDonald MillerSarah YoungThom S. Ranier

Creating A Safe Environment

(Page 11)

• Ensure confidentiality• Don’t put parents on the spot• Keep group small |4 -6 people may be ideal• If you are a group leader that has a prodigal make sure you are at a place of peace before leading the group

Purpose Of Curriculum And Format

(Pages 12 - 14)

• Design of Curriculum | Study gently addresses theissue to encourage parents to open up• Stages of Curriculum | 1. Address situation2. Understanding the prodigal3. Class format that includes devotion, prayer, bible verses and questions4. Deeper questions for parents to reflect on5. A section on forgiveness ends each session

Purpose Of Curriculum And Format

(Pages 12 - 14)

6. Theological background | devotions written by a prodigal that returned to the faith and edited by retired by active LCMS pastor7. Getting the word out about class | suggested guidelines and sample note for church bulletin8. Social media | FB and TW9. Interactive website | Faith Family Reunion: a place for parents to interact online anonymously (become a member)

Group Confidentiality Contract

(Page 15)• Write up ‘Rules of Engagement’ for group• Example:

I will keep the testimonies and stories I hearin this group confidential. What is discussed in this group stays in this group and is not to beshared outside the group.

More ideas on page 15

Series One | Addressing The Subject

(Pages 16 - 22)• Starting out with a perspective on forgiveness• Story of a prodigal• Bible verses• Prayer• Opening questions• Examples of what my parents did and did not do• Suggested exercise• Get a list of each person’s needs to pray for that week until the next meeting

Week One | A Beacon Of Light

(Pages 23 - 29)

• Opening devotion• Prayer• Bible Verses• Group discussion | Father’s & mother’s perspective• Ice Breakers• Deeper Questions• Ending with a perspective on forgiveness• Get a list of each person’s needs to pray for that week until the next meeting

Faith Family ReunionVisit Our Website: www.faithfamilyreunion.com

*In the fall of 2014 we received a grant from the LCMS Synod and were able to use a portion of the funds to build this website

What Do We Offer Parents?

Weekly newsletters (sign up) that are devotionals and studies to provide encouragement to parents

Resources section that includes information on good books or articles that address the subject

Opportunity to become member on website in order contribute answers to questions or submit encouragement to other parents

Event information on where we will be sharing our class curriculum and resources.

Prayer of Psalm 121 NIV | A Song Of AscentsI lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord,the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber: indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life;

The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Thank YouFaith Family Reunion

If You Would Like More Information Please Contact Paula Isakson: infaithfamilyreuion@gmail.com Or Visit www.faithfamilyreunion.com