Lesson 11 - Parenting Robert Wonser

2

Parenting

Parenting is the process of nurturing, caring for, socializing, and preparing one's children for their eventual adult roles.

3

Socialization

Socialization is the process by which people learn characteristics of their group’s norms, values, attitudes, and behaviors.

From the first moments of life, children begin a process of socialization wherein parents, family, and friends establish an infant’s social construction of reality which is what people define as real because of their background assumptions and life experiences with others.

4

An average U.S. child’s social construction of reality includes knowledge that he or she belongs, can depend on others to meet their needs, and has privileges and obligations that accompany membership in their family and community.

Primary socialization includes all the ways the newborn is molded into a social being, capable oaf interacting in and meeting the expectations of society. Most primary socialization is facilitated by the family, friends, school, and various forms of media.

Annette Lareau’s ‘Unequal Childhoods’Concerted cultivation vs accomplishment of natural

growthWhat are the different outcomes?Notice how one’s position in society affects how one

rears children.

SOCIAL CLASS AND PARENTING

5

6

Childhood DependenceIndividuation is the process of separating oneself, one’s identity, and one’s dependence on others, especially on parents.

7

Children's Independence and Their Ability to Nurture Others Over Certain

Life Course Stages

8

The trick is to find a balance between control and freedom

The model on the next slide leads to an ideal outcome of having raised children who are independent co-adults.

9

An Ideal Parenting Approach for the First 20 Years of Life

Enmeshment between parents and children occurs when they weave their identities so tightly around one another that it renders them both incapable of functioning independently.

10

Behaviorism and the Cognitive Model

Behaviorism is a theory of learning that simply states that children will repeat behaviors that they perceive to bring a desired reward while ceasing behaviors that they perceive bring punishments.

Cognitive model of parenting is an approach that applies reason and clarification to the child in a persuasive effort to get them to understand why they should behave a certain way.

11

Examples of Rewards and Punishments for Children

12

Types of ParentingRescue parents are constantly interfering with their children’s activities

Dominating Parents over control and coerce their children.

Mentoring Parents tend to negotiate and share control with their children.

13

Co-AdulthoodCo-adulthood is the status children attain when they are independent, capable of fulfilling responsibilities and roles, and confident in their own identities as emerging adults.

14

Infant Mortality (IM) and Life Expectancy (LE), 2007

Country IM LE

Albania 20.0 77.6

Angola 184.4 37.6

Australia 4.6 80.6

Austria 4.5 79.2

Bangladesh 59.1 62.8

Brazil 27.6 72.2

Canada 4.6 80.3

China 22.1 72.9

Costa Rica 9.5 77.2

France 4.2 79.9

Germany 4.1 79.0

Greece 5.3 79.4

Guatemala 29.8 69.7

Iran 38.1 70.6

Country IM LE

Japan 3.2 81.4

Mozambique 109.9 40.9

South Africa 59.4 42.5

Spain 4.3 79.8

Sri Lanka 19.5 74.8

Sweden 2.8 80.6

Switzerland 4.3 80.6

United Kingdom 5.0 78.7

United States 6.4 78.0

Venezuela 20.9 74.8

Zimbabwe 51.1 39.5

15

How active is your young child?18 month old Alyssa24 hours4,652 separate activities221 behavioral categories

Watches/looks at something 643Manipulates an object 96Cries 62Screams 17Sings 22Falls down 9Walks 299

161616

PreschoolersPractice gross and fine motor skills

move and investigate their world pour milk

age-appropriateLimitsChores

Trash Clean room Change sheets Sweep Vacuum Dishwasher Fold laundry Feed pets Yard work Clean bathrooms

171717

Parents Parent Differently

Most mothers spend more time in childcare and housework activities than fathers

In less than 15% of married-couple families do the father and mother share equally in HW and CCMothers take careFathers play

In less than 2% of married-couple families are the fathers the full-time homemaker

181818

Parenting StylesAuthoritative/Democratic StyleAuthoritative/Democratic StyleAuthoritarian StyleAuthoritarian StylePermissive StylePermissive StyleRejecting Style Rejecting Style Uninvolved StyleUninvolved Style

191919

Parental Alliance Respect each others’ differencesRespect each others’ differences

Parents are a parenting alliance -- Parents are a parenting alliance -- present united front to childrenpresent united front to children

Marital conflict can affect parenting Marital conflict can affect parenting alliancealliance

202020

Effects of Life StressStress decreases ability to:

Be patient or relaxMeet children’s needsBe emotionally responsiveShow affectionGive praise

212121

Effects of Life StressStress increases tendency to:

Be strict and criticizePunish and spank

Sources of stress?

Coping strategies?

222222

Children Affect ParentingSome children’s needs are more Some children’s needs are more

difficult to meetdifficult to meet

What works for one child may not What works for one child may not work for anotherwork for another

Some children have special needsSome children have special needs

232323

Effective Discipline

Purpose of disciplinePurpose of disciplinelearn self-controllearn self-controldevelop consciencedevelop conscience

Children respond best in the context Children respond best in the context of loving, trusting relationship of loving, trusting relationship

242424

Effective Discipline

ConsistentPositive (rewards) rather than negative (punishments)Catch them being good

Behavioral expectations clearDevelopmentally appropriateSevere punishment is counterproductive

25

Conscious ParentingHow children are socialized if often not thought about consciously.

What types of things are we likely to reproduce in our children if we don’t actively focus on what we do?

ExamplesCinderella ate my daughter!Troublesome aspects of masculinity

262626

Looking for quality childcareDo the kids look happy?Is there a “good feeling” there?LicensedAdequate space for indoor and outdoor playIs food appetizing?Staff training and adequate numberTV/video gamesActivity plan

27

Your neighbor has a child with special needs, what theory could you use to help understand the challenges of this family?

2727