learning pool: work/life balance 2: managing stress successfully

Managing

Stress

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My Adventures in Stress – Bad & Good

WorkMoney

RelationshipsHealth


Your Story?


How do you currently try to manage stress?

ExerciseRelaxationTalking issues throughEscapismComfort eating/drinkingOther?


What is stress?

First used in biological sense by Hans Selye, in the 1930sReaction to a stimulus (stressor) – real or imagined“A condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize” (Lazarus)Can be +ve (eustress) or -ve (distress)Eustress is necessary to thriveDistress can cause severe problems when very acute or chronic


Some common sources of distress

Social – problems or trauma in relationships with partners, friends, family, co-workers, etcBiological – chronic pain, poor sleep, poor diet, depression, poor mobility, etcEnvironmental – conditions at home or work (noise/light/temperature levels etc)Life Changes – unemployment, debt, bereavement, sudden illness, etc


What is eustress?

“A condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that demands can be met with the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize”!“Rising to a challenge”Performance – giving “the edge”Feelings of excitement, anticipation, positive expectation – nervousness isn't overwhelming“Flow” – aka happiness!


Know the difference!

Eustress is positive and aids performance – relaxation would impair performance! (E.g. Think performing arts, sports)Eustress should be sought out/created – 'stretch' goals, leaving comfort zoneDistress must be managed – the source(s) and the reaction(s)Distress can be a great source of learningMost importantly: choose your story.


Some symptoms: Distress

Poor concentration/memoryAnxiousness/racing thoughtsIrratibility/'snapping'Feelings of overwhelmDepressionPoor sleep (too much, too little, heavy dreaming)Isolating yourself, or inability to be aloneProcrastinating or neglecting responsibilitiesUsing food, alcohol, drugs etc. to manage mood


More symptoms: Distress

Skin conditionsHeadachesNausea/dizzinessChest painDigestive problemsFrequent coldsUnexplained bruisesPoor hair healthNail biting, etc


Coping with Distress


Identify the Source(s):

External – other people, environment/circumstancesInternal – my perceptions (aka my story), shaped by beliefs, previous experiences, other people's stories


Blame v. Responsibility:

My BusinessYour BusinessAny Other

Business

[Adapted from “Loving What Is”, Byron Katie]


What Can You Change?

Yourself: Focus on “my business”Your story – challenge beliefs, use “wouldn't it be nice if...” if positive thinking feels too muchGet positive story in place, then...Other people – ask for what you need, say no, ask to be heard (you can only ask, not demand)Environment – make changes where you can, consider leaving – perhaps temporarily (e.g. from an argument) or permanently (e.g. from a job – all about choice


“Resilience is the human capacity to deal with, overcome, learn from or even

be transformed by adversity”

[Edith H. Grotberg,1999]


What ResourcesCan You Draw On?


Internal resources:

Self-belief – how have you overcome adversity in the past? With which skills?Choose your thoughts (use mood as guide) – what's the better-feeling thought? (Re-framing)Perspective: mountain or molehill?Take issue(s) just seriously enough to plan helpful action......Don't catastrophise! Play down importance & likelihood of consequences (without sticking head in sand!)


Internal resources (continued):

Find lesson or opportunity for growthUse your imagination – creative problem-solving, visualisationHope & trust – even before finding solutionPositive self-talk – words like determination, courage, opportunity, solution, energy, etc; “I can handle it!” (with help)Be kind to yourself!Appreciate what is good, to help mood, energy levels & perspective


Internal resources (continued):

Activity management: prioritise (Covey's “4 Quad's” – urgency/importance)Try choosing top 3 critical to-do'sSay no/yes carefully, only so many hours in the day!Review tasks: automate, delegate, ditchBreak down goals/large tasks into manageable tasksCreate new habits, behaviours & structureRevive interests & passions, find new ones


Physical resources:

B.R.E.A.T.H.E! Slow and low...Get ample, regular sleepcreate right environmentsay 'stop!' when find yourself ruminating,avoid mental stimulation before sleepconsider notebook/pen by bedmaintain routineGet plenty of hydration!Exercise (interval training)Eat well – watch sugar, caffeine, over-processed food, trans fats etc


Physical resources (continued):

Meditate (YouTube a good resource)Get massages (professional, friend/partner, 'The Genie'!)Practice Yoga, T'ai Chi, etcDe-clutter – rooms, inbox, social life, mindMake the most of your environmentEscape?Take considered action. Theory is not enough & ignoring problems can make them worse.


People/informational resources:

Friends & familyColleagues, boss, HR, Trade Union, etcProfessionals – GP, C.A.B., coaches, mentors, trainers, dieticians, etcForums, support groupsWebsites, courses, webinars, podcastsPhilosophical and/or spiritual resourcesDon't bottle things up; seek help and/or infoUse feedback constructively (no such thing as 'failure' – constant learning)


Create an exciting, inspiring vision of yourself handling things well,being focused and in control

and adapting to changesas life happens.


Perception is reality.

Choose a healthy, helpful story.


Recommended Reading

Total Relaxation (Book & CD) – John Harvey

Developing Resilience: A Cognitive Behavioural

Approach - Michael Neenan

The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle

Loving What Is - Byron Katie


Recommended Reading (continued)

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in

Everyday Life - Thich Nhat Hanh

Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel By Changing

the Way You Think - Christine A Padesky and Dennis

Greenberger


Send your questions and comments to [email protected]

For ideas, inspiration,

useful links and motivation:

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learning pool: work/life balance 2: managing stress successfully

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