kelly mcgonigal

7/25/2019 Kelly McGonigal

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Kelly McGonigal: How to make stress your friend

00:11I have a confession to make. But rst, I want you to make a little

confession to me. In the past year, I want you to just raise your hand if

you've eperienced relatively little stress. !nyone"

00:#1$ow a%out a moderate amount of stress"

00:#&ho has eperienced a lot of stress" (eah. )e too.

00:#*But that is not my confession. )y confession is this: I am a health

psycholo+ist, and my mission is to help people %e happier and

healthier. But I fear that somethin+ I've %een teachin+ for the last 10

years is doin+ more harm than +ood, and it has to do with stress. or

years I've %een tellin+ people, stress makes you sick. It increases the risk

of everythin+ from the common cold to cardiovascular disease. Basically,

I've turned stress into the enemy. But I have chan+ed my mind a%out

stress, and today, I want to chan+e yours.

01:-0et me start with the study that made me rethink my whole

approach to stress. /his study tracked #0,000 adults in the nited tates

for ei+ht years, and they started %y askin+ people, 2$ow much stress have

you eperienced in the last year"2 /hey also asked, 23o you %elieve that

stress is harmful for your health"2 !nd then they used pu%lic death

records to nd out who died.

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01:&78kay. ome %ad news rst. 9eople who eperienced a lot of stress in

the previous year had a percent increased risk of dyin+. But that was

only true for the people who also %elieved that stress is harmful for your

health.

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0-:0*9eople who eperienced a lot of stress %ut did not view stress as

harmful were no more likely to die. In fact, they had the lowest risk ofdyin+ of anyone in the study, includin+ people who had relatively little

stress.

0-:-#ow the researchers estimated that over the ei+ht years they were

trackin+ deaths, 17-,000 !mericans died prematurely, not from stress, %ut

from the %elief that stress is %ad for you.

0-:#;5au+hter6

0-:#4/hat is over -0,000 deaths a year. ow, if that estimate iscorrect, that would make %elievin+ stress is %ad for you the 1


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cause of death in the nited tates last year, killin+ more people than skin

cancer, $I=>!I3 and homicide.

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response, and the idea is this: tress makes you social.

04:&7/o understand this side of stress, we need to talk a%out a hormone,

oytocin, and I know oytocin has already +otten as much hype as a

hormone can +et. It even has its own cute nickname, the cuddle

hormone, %ecause it's released when you hu+ someone. But this is a very

small part of what oytocin is involved in.

07:078ytocin is a neuro@hormone. It ne@tunes your %rain's social

instincts. It primes you to do thin+s that stren+then close

relationships. 8ytocin makes you crave physical contact with your friends

and family. It enhances your empathy. It even makes you more willin+ to

help and support the people you care a%out.ome people have even

su++ested we should snort oytocin... to %ecome more compassionate

and carin+. But here's what most people don't understand a%out

oytocin. It's a stress hormone. (our pituitary +land pumps this stuF out as

part of the stress response. It's as much a part of your stress response as

the adrenaline that makes your heart pound. !nd when oytocin is

released in the stress response, it is motivatin+ you to seek support. (our

%iolo+ical stress response is nud+in+ you to tell someone how you

feel, instead of %ottlin+ it up. (our stress response wants to make sure you

noticewhen someone else in your life is stru++lin+ so that you can support

each other. hen life is dicult, your stress response wants you to %e

surrounded %y people who care a%out you.

0*:#-8kay, so how is knowin+ this side of stress +oin+ to make you

healthier" ell, oytocin doesn't only act on your %rain. It also acts onyour %ody, and one of its main roles in your %ody is to protect your

cardiovascular system from the eFects of stress. It's a natural anti@

inGammatory. It also helps your %lood vessels stay relaed durin+

stress. But my favorite eFect on the %ody is actually on the heart. (our

heart has receptors for this hormone, and oytocin helps heart cells

re+enerate and heal from any stress@induced dama+e. /his stress

hormone stren+thens your heart.

10:1&!nd the cool thin+ is that all of these physical %enets of oytocin

are enhanced %y social contact and social support. o when you reach outto others under stress, either to seek support or to help someone else, you

release more of this hormone, your stress response %ecomes

healthier, and you actually recover faster from stress. I nd this

amaCin+, that your stress response has a %uilt@in mechanism for stress

resilience, and that mechanism is human connection.

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the last year"2 /hey also asked, 2$ow much time have you spent helpin+

out friends, nei+h%ors, people in your community"2!nd then they used

pu%lic records for the net ve years to nd out who died.

11:-;8kay, so the %ad news rst: or every major stressful life

eperience, like nancial diculties or family crisis, that increased the risk

of dyin+ %y #0 percent. But @@ and I hope you are epectin+ a 2%ut2 %y now

@@ %ut that wasn't true for everyone. 9eople who spent time carin+ forothers showed a%solutely no stress@related increase in dyin+. Hero. ?arin+

created resilience.

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