FLOCK TENDING: TIPS FOR ESSENTIAL SPIRITUAL

CAREGIVING

Justin Nelson, MDiv.

Chaplain

Mountain Valley Hospice and Palliative Care

What is Spiritual/Pastoral Caregiving? Historically derived from the image of the Shepherd

Psalm 23 “The Lord is my Shepherd”

The Mission of Jesus set out in Luke 4:16-21 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring

good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, 19to proclaim

the year of the Lord’s favor.” The mission of the Church should be the “concern for persons, for the

alleviation of their sufferings, for their health and wholeness” (Switzer, 9)

Definitions “expression of the life of the Christian community, or of a person or persons

who are representative of the community, when it is acting out God’s purpose in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus in and for the world.” (Switzer, 15)

“Personal Contact for the care of souls”

Types of Spiritual/Pastoral Visits

CrisisDeath, hospitalization, etc.

Homebound/Nursing Home Guests Inactive/Unhappy Members Stewardship Recruitment for Leadership On-Going Every Member Visitation

“for the purpose of strengthening relationships with caregiver, congregation, and community, and addressing issues of faith and its practice” (Gorsuch, 9)

How do we provide effective Spiritual Care? Active Listening

“he who can no longer listen to his brother will soon be no longer listening to God either”—Bonhoeffer

Hearing is an easy, passive process, however listening requires energy, motivation, and patience

Listening does not only mean paying attention to the words being spoken, listening also means paying attention to the whole person—what is there body language saying, what is there environment telling you, etc.

How do we provide effective Spiritual Care? Recognize Anxiety as good

Anxiety is a clue that something important is about to happen. Where anxiety is, there is always an opportunity to stand on “holy ground”

Realize you do not have to “fix” the problem. You are there to merely support and guide the individual on their

own journey. Overcome the Savior Complex

You do not have all the answers. Even though you might have gone through a similar experience; what worked for you might not work for them.

Ambiguity is perfectly acceptable. Sometimes there are no answers or no good answers.

Sometimes people are not looking for answers, they just need to vent.

How do we provide effective Spiritual Care?

Recognize that silence is not bad: Many times it is good. Silence opens the door to thinking/pondering. Silence gives person

time to put their words and thoughts together. When people are ready to share, they will and the person will have the freedom to express themselves in whatever manner they see fit.

Recognize that Crying is OK. Crying is the body’s way of releasing emotions. That release is often

need. *Handing someone a tissue is an outward sight that they do not need to cry. They should stop crying and that we don’t want them to cry. Tissues are good to have on you, but do not pull them out immediately.

Understand everyone copes differently. Some prefer more private and reserved grieving.

Realize that you do not necessarily have to talk “God talk” Sometimes people just need to vent, shoot the breeze, etc.

How do we provide effective Spiritual Care? Remember you are a guest.

This is not your journey, but theirs. Understand that a patient/family may want you to stay or they may want you to

leave. Not Personal. Ask what is needed or wanted. Do not assume. “What would help you right now?”

“What is it that I could do for you?” Confidentiality

There must be a sense of trust Be aware that scents can have effects on others.

Be aware of your own perfume/cologne. Thus, do not smoke before making a visit.

If a person is dying… Do not talk as if they are already dead. They are still there and they are in the room.

If a person has Dementia/Alzheimer’s It is okay to go into their world. Watch what you say.

○ If asked if you have seen someone’s parents and you know for a fact that the parents are deceased, do not tell them that their parents are dead.

Unhelpful Statements Don’t… You should… You should not… I know exactly how you

feel. He/She’s in a better

place. Don’t be angry with

God. Don’t say that about

God. It was God’s will.

God had a reason You will get over it. Time will heal (S)He lived a good

long life. You should be grateful.

I had an experience like this once. When my mother died…(It’s not about you.)

Helpful Statements I’m sorry for you

loss. Would you like to talk

about it? How is what’s

happening with ___ affecting your life?

What would help you right now?

How can I help right now?

If those tears could talk, what would they be saying?

What I am hearing you say is ____?

What are your thoughts on ____?

How do you feel about____?

**You are not there to interrogate. Don’t ask too many questions.**

Home Visitation Always Call First Make sure you know where you are going

and the names of who you are going to see. Watch where you step/sit

Oxygen line, pets, etc. Be considerate to others in the household. Be considerate of the times in which you

visit. Same Rules apply for Independent Living

Facilities.

Hospital Visitations Hand Hygiene

(foam in/foam out) Contact Precautions

Your protection and patient’s protection Always knock Watch where you step/sit/stand. Excuse yourself to the hall if CNA’s/RN’s come to

change/rotate/etc. patient. If doctor walks in the room…

Ask if patient wants you to stay or not If you stay, listen to the doctor. Patient might have misheard/ stop

listening to doctor because they got stuck on one of doctor’s words. Don’t chime in with your own medical opinions.

Be an understanding/compassionate advocate for patient. Realize RN’s have to take care of all the other patients on the unit.

Nursing Home Visit Remember this is their home!

Though it might resemble a hospital room it is not.Statements about returning home are not helpful.Exception if person is there for rehab only.

Be prepared for sometimes difficult smells. Be considerate to roommates. Always knock. Watch where you step/sit. CNA’s do come and rotate, help persons out

of bed, help bathe, etc.

Following the Visit Take Time to Reflect

Your Strengths and WeaknessesDid any theological issues arise in yourself or in the person

visited? Is God telling you or the person visited something?○ Awareness of the Holy○ Sense of Providence—fate, bad luck, etc.○ Sense of Grace○ Sense of Vocation—not necessarily work related

Plan of ActionWhat needs to happen as a result of the visit?Were there any promises made?What non-confidential information needs to be passed on?

Questions?