N o . 393 F R I D A Y , 1 3 T H J U N E , 1975

IT'S BEEN A BITCH OF A YEAR !

THE ACADEMIC session 1974-75 will surely go down in the annals of IC Union's history as one renowned for its spasmodic outbreaks of "bitching" ie criticism verging (on occasion) towards hostility.

T h i s does not mean to suggest that a l l the hos t i l e c r i t i c i s m s w h i c h have appeared have been i l l - f ounded . Indeed h idden amongst much of the r h e t o r i c c an be f o u n d fundamental debat ing po ints wh i ch re f l ec t a genuine concern w i t h regard to a par t i cu la r top ic .

The i s s u e to be ra i s ed i s t h i s : Recognising firstly the bad feeling which "bitching" will inevitably create and secondly the fact that in the majority of instances, in the past year the controversy was settled amicably, then is it always necessary to raise the dispute in public?

There is e v idence to support the v i ew that it is the " p u b l i c "

aspec t of the d ispute coup l ed w i th the hos t i l e terms in w h i c h an otherwise " f a i r " comment i s somet imes couched w h i c h i s capab l e of do ing the most damage.

Dur ing the pas t year the F E U X Letters Column has been the scene of c r i t i c i s m s both c o n s t r u c t i v e and d e s t r u c t i v e , m i l d and vehement . Whi l s t undoubtedly the C o l u m n has been l i v e l y and enter­t a i n i n g , the ques t i on has tobe a s k e d "A t what cost?"

B y a l l means let us have c on t r o v e r s i e s , but next year at l eas t , may the a lmos t Sa tan ic r i te of " b i t c h i n g " c e a s e .

Here endeth the lesson from the gospel according to St. FELIX.

S T O I C D O E S I T A G A I N !

STOIC, IC's own student television service, has managed to scoop the national media yet again by an exclusive interview with B A R R Y HUMPHRIES, the creator and co-star of the latest Barry Mckenzie film "Barry McKenzie Holds His O w n " . Mr Humphries arrived at the STOIC studio yesterday in drag and created pandemonium. The interview is to be broadcast next Tuesday in the JCR , Southside and Union. Watch out for posters .

WHAT A SCORCHER! A T LAST , it has happened. After much wheeling and dealing

it was finally announced last Monday that the final plans, incorporating the original suggestions which had been agreed upon, are to be fully implemented " i n the very near future".

T h i s announcement, made by the E d i t o r of F E U X , Mike W i l l i a m s , comes a s a great shock to many senior U n i o n o f f i c i a l s who were l a s t night e xp r ess ing "grave concern" about the p o s s i b l e e f fects th is unexpected move might have on the future of F E L T X and indeed the U n i o n i t s e l f .

Speak ing on beha l f of the U n i o n , T revor P h i l l i p s the I C U P r es iden t s a i d , "I have no doubt that it is Mike Williams' intention to create within the broadly-based framework which

has been built up around FELIX this year a more fundamental style of approach to solving the more troublesome aspects of the newspaper which have been difficult to overcome in light of inflation and the Government cuts in educational expendure."

The F E L I X Staff were l e ss guarded in the i r v i e w s . "I don't like it," s a i d R i c h a r d

Turn to page 2

SPECIAL COLOUR EDITION

7 FELIX

0 00^0^^ O O^OO)

° o o o o o o o o o°o o o°o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o ° !

Michael Williams

T H E E D I T O R wou ld l i ke to thank the f o l low ing peop le for the c o n t r i b u t i o n s w h i c h they have made to F E L I X in the pas t y ea r :

Tom A b r a h a m T revo r P h i l l i p s J a e q u i Ger ra rd R o n K i l l R i c h a r d U p t o n P h i l i p Webber C l i v e D e w e y Pete C a n n e l l Joe Herber t s on Ka t i e M a c k m n o n J u l i a D u n n i n g M ike Wright John A l l e n Joy J i m Y o u e n s J u l i a n T y s o n A n o n John B land D a v e Jones T o m S t evens on P a u l Watk ins P a u l E k p e n y o n g Steve A y l i n g Andrew Osborne S tephen R i c h a r d s o n S e a n B a r k e r R o b Jones T i m H a n s o n B r u c e B r a d l e y R . J . Merwood Mike Baume R i c h a r d Newmann Graham Dwye r N i g e l F o s t e r A n d y B r e w s t e r Steve C h u d y Jenny Jones H i z S h a k i r C h a r l i e Wr i g l ey Steve K i m m i n s P a u l H i n d l e R i c h a r d S z c z e p a n s k t C o l i n B r o w n N . V . H a r r i s o n D . C a r r B o b M i l l s N e i l P i t c h e r Sh i r e l y F a i r w e a t h e r Ruper t Harper M H . T a v o s s i Mike P e t t y Ian McWal ter S imon H e l l y e r N . R a c i n e - J a c q u e s D e n i s A l a n a c h V i n c e n t A n g J a c k L l e w e l l y n Hie Sue Tanner K . L i p s c ombe R . H o s i e r B . Speed

R B . J one s S . J . Robe r t s Pete L y n c h Tony Mi lb urn A . A 1 ons o R . C a m e r o n T e s s a R u n d l e Will Wel ford Roger W i l k i n s C o l i n Waldron A l a n Lodge R o n A p p l e b y A r s h a d Ha f ee z Pete r Hughes C a nd i M i c h a e l S w i d z i n s k i M . Smi th L a d y F l o w e r s A l a n Jones Dru B r o w n Mar t in Kess ler Deborah L o r d E l i z a b e t h Wig l ey J Syde Stuart Moffat John Lane John D o w n s R . B . F l e t c h e r Steve Webb Robynne F l e t c h e r K e v i n C r a d d oc k Rosemary A s h f o r d M . E a r l e N . S a l i s b u r y A n i t a H a m i l t o n X a m Peter G l a s s R o b i n Ker rod K e n Weaie Dave Sa hsbury E lee E n g 2 John Mort imer N i g e l L e a k e George R o b e r t s o n Tony P r e s t o n Jeff L e w i s James W i l k i n s o n J . Roden Tony Jones Steve B rady John R a n d a 11 A .P . S t e v e nson Andy Wa ts on A D • D a w s on C h a r l e s L o u i s s o n R S . L . W.Iks J. J . A l b r e c h t Mart in Turner John A n d r e w s Dave R u m s e y Mike G o s s Jeremy C l i ft Mar t in Jones

J . I . J o h n s t o n A . J . B a c z k o w s k i Joan M . W e l l s H .Shore H a l R o u n d s T . J JO. Pye S . Hoch f e lder A l e x Je f f r i e s Andy H i g m a n Ian Morse D J _ . B a r n e s Gordon J a c k s o n Bob B a u H n g F i o n a C as s i d y F r a n c i s Toye A l i C a m p b e l l K e i t h A h l e r s John Shore A n n a b e l L i s t z Andrew Walker Pe ter Teague M a l c o l m Spencer D e r r i c k E v e r e t t

P h i l i p lde D a v i d Cooper L J - J u l i u s

D . West Ka r en Gadd D e b b i e Ba rke r G R . C a u s e r Mark J o h n s o n F. . E d w a r d s D a v i d S e a l D a v e Scott Stuart North Syd W i l k i n s on M.A . H o b s o n Ma 1 Rons on L . V . M a x w e l l

J - M c C l o s k e y C o l i n Andrew A lan L i t t l e f o r d K M . I b n k i a n R T . Smyth R a y Ward Margaret S l imming Steve Grove C a r o l e Burtt Steve H i n t o n M J . Da v i e s Ca the r in e G i l l J i l l McNaugh tan Lo rna Thomas B i l l Gerrard

Stephen T h o m p s o n Me g Sarah Jones R o n Parker C h a r l e s Lamont C h r i s K e e n a n Andrew H a l l

. N i c k P a y n e R i c h a r d Waring J o h n Parry

S p e c i a l thanks must go to Jen Ha rdy -Sm i th lor her u n f a i l i n g moral support when it was most needed; Sue , A l i c e and D o l for e n s u r i n g that F E L I X d id not f a l l apart at the seams by manag ing to wake me up e a c h morn ing w i t h the best cuppa in S o u t h s i d e ; G i l l M c C o n w a y , our v a r i t y p i s t , whose work has gone from s t reng th to s t r eng th and whose n e w l y a c q u i r e d pas t ing -up s k i l l s has a ided me i m m e n s e l y ; Ian Morse, our l i tho -ope : a tor, for h is unf lagg ing committment to pr in t ing F E L I X and h i s t e n a c i t y in e n s u r i n g tha t F E L I X c omes out on t ime; P a u l E k p e n y o n g , R i z S h a k i r and R i c h a r d War ing , w i thout whom F E L I X wou ld not have e x i s t e d this year ; and f i n a l l y to the F E L I X Staff in g e n e r a l (both s tudent and permanent} who have su f f e red my a r rogance , e x c e s s e s , id i os y nc ra c le s and morbid s ense of humour w i th the min imum of d i s s e n t .

It has been a good year .

F ORLY

What a scorcher!

Continued from page one

Waring, the News E d i t o r . R i z Shak i r , the Fea tures E d i t o r and next year ' s Deputy P r es iden t , was even vehement: " / think it's silly." P a u l Ekpenyong , the Sub-Ed i tor and E d i t o r -e lect of F E L I X , summed it a l l up s u c c i n c t l y . " / think it ref heels a certain amount of desperation on the Editor's part when, in an attempt to cheer up those people who have had a near-fatal dose of exams, he feels he has to write a meaningless front-page •space-filler with a title more suited to a national news paper during a hoi summer when there is nothing else to make the headlines.''

NOTICE I . instead H a l l Basement

T runk Room is to be c l ea r ed out dur ing September. Anyone hav ing be long ings there shou ld contact t h e h o u s e k e e p e r

I M M E D I A T E L Y

INFORMATION REQUIRED A dark blue Imp, r eg i s t ra t i on

number, I .RA 61 8D was damaged w h i l s t parked in Souths ide carpark last week . Would anyone in the v i c i n i t y and who may have w i tnessed the inc ident p lease contac t Roger N i c h o l l s , Indus t r ia l Soc io l ogy P ( i or r ing 653 8686.

Sarah Jones

A S Y O U w i l l probably have a l r eady no t i c ed , each member of the IF Un ion E x e c u t i v e is tak ing it in turn to wr i te an a r t i c l e for F E L I X , s o I suppose I shou ld f i rs t introduce myse l f : I am the S o c i a l Sec for IF (Soc ia l S ec , some of you might say who a s yet , does not seem to have organ ised any s o c i a l e ven ts ) . A l t h o u g h I have on ly had th is post of S o c i a l S e c . for a few weeks I have d i s cove r ed that o rgan is ing s o c i a l events for the summer term is not e x a c t l y e a s y .

A m a z i n g though it may sound , I am in the process of "The Taming of the Shrew". Or i g ina l l y th is was to be at the Open A i r Theatre (Regent ' s Pa rk for those of you«who are so ignorant) but I have just had a letter from the company say ing that due to the bad spr ing weather the bu i l d ing of the new aud i to r ium complex at the Open A i r Theatre has been d e l a y e d . So , to avo id d i s -a p p o i n t i n g y o u a l l the product ion

of "The Taming of the Shrew" is hav ing a s p e c i a l s eason at the Round House , C h a l k F a r m . T i c k e t s for the even ing performance on June 30th are s t i l l a v a i l a b l e , s o anyone want ing t i cke t s p lease come to the IF Un i on any week-day between 1 pm — 1.30 pm and hopeful ly someone shou ld be there .

S o c i a l events for the rest of the term (what there is left of it) seem to be a lmost non­ex i s t en t , but next term's events are bound to be s u c c e s s f u l and w e l l suppor t ed . ( L e t ' s hope so anyway ) .

LETTERS The Referendum

Imperial College, 1st June, 1975.

">ear S i r , Unfortunate ly when this

otter appears the referendum v i l l have come and gone but neverthe less 1 fee l I must

omment on Mr P h i l l i p s ' fervour in urging us to vote w h i c h ippeared in F E L I X 3 9 2 . H i s a s s u r a n c e that "It is a historical decision", para l l e l ed by C a p i t a l R a d i o ' s "This is the most important decision of your life" and HM Government ' s

It is possibly the most important choice that the British people have ever been asked to make" is m i sp l a c ed en thus iasm . In fact the cho i c e we have is between i n d u s t r i a l , corporate c a p i t a l i s m ; and anyth ing further is purely i l l u s o r y .

However it is sa lutary to see T ro t sky i s t s . support ing nat iona l sovere ignty and rather unus ing to see fe l low cab ine t min is ters at one another ' s ihroats but that is where my interest ends .

Economet r i c s is a young and h igh ly imprec ise s c i e n c e . It is ce r t a in l y not poss i b l e to say whether l eav ing the E E C w i l l a id our economic development or not, nor whether the E E C has cush ioned or exacerbated our nat iona l c r i s i s in the past two y ea r s . In any case our major raw ma te r i a l s , e s p e c i a l l y o i l , are not under European cont ro l s o we s t i l l pay d i s ­proport ionate p r i ces on the wor ld market.

1 wou ld contend that the

referendum is l a rge ly i r r e l e van t . Indeed Mr P h i l l i p s ana logy w i th the European cup f ina l was pecu l i a r l y oppos i te — one s ide may have the super ior arguments , the other s ide may w in but the b a l l has no rea l say in the matter; it jus t gets k i c k e d a round .

Power of the people! Andrew T . O sbo rne .

IF Only Again

L'lnstitut Francais, 2 nd June 1975

Dear S ir , I f ee l I must reply to the

let ters headed " I F O n l y C r i t i c i s m " i n las t for tn ight ' s F E L I X .

F i r s t l y to s e t Mr P h i l l i p s ' hunted mind at res t . He has hi therto been nothing more than a name on paper, to me . T h e r e ­fore I cannot see how he can a c cuse me of d i r e c t ing an at tack at him p e r s o n a l l y . However , the IF U n i o n wou ld be de l i gh t ed to make h i s acqua intance and lend him a s i n c e r e l y f r iendly ear any time he ca r es to v i s it u s .

Second ly the letter from I F ex -P res iden t Ka t i e Mak innon : at the r i s k of sound ing petty myse l f , I c an only say her c r i t i c i s m s t r i kes a rather s h a l l o w note . If she is so concerned about the o rgan i sa t i on of next y ea r ' s R a g a c t i v i t i e s , I suggest she consu l t s the R a g Co-ord inator who w i l l no doubt set her inqu i r ing mind at r e s t .

Yours f a i th fu l l y , L o r n a Thomas Rag Rep, IF

F i l I X

P R I Z E C R O S S W O R D No.20 MEG

Across 1 . Is q u i e t l y m e n d a c i o u s a n d r e m a i n s h i d d e n . ( 4 , 3 ) .

4 . D i r e c t i o n t o c h a u f f e u r ( L i t t l e R i c h a r d ) g i v e n In e p i c f o r m ? ( 7 ) . 9 . P i a n o s e x c e l i n a c e r t a i n f e a t u r e . ( 4 ) . 1 0 . A l a i s ' T * . A d d ' H ' t o c o m p l e t e t h e o r g a n i s a t i o n . ( 3 ) . 1 1 . D e n i s O . i s a m a d i n v e n t o r ( 6 ) 1 2 . A d r u n k e n a n g l e p u t s o n e In a s p o t . ( 5 , 6 ) . 1 5 . O n l y N o r t h c o u l d p r o d u c e t h e m a t e r i a l . ( 5 ) .

1 7 . T h e c l e a n e r b r i n g s r o u n d ' L o v e i n t h e A f t e r n o o n ' . ( 3 ) . 1 9 S t a r t t h e r a c e , w e h e a r . T h e r e s u l t c o u l d be a f t e r d i n n e r . ( 4 ) . 21 D e s p o i l t h e O r i e n t t o m a k e a d r e s s . ( 4 ) . 2 3 W h e r e t o t a k e o n e ' s f i r s t s t e p s i n G o l f ? S o u n d s j u s t l i k e m y c u p of c h a r . ( 3 ) . 2 5 , A y e , t h e r e ' s t h e r u b — a f e l i n e h o n o u r . ( 5 ) . 2 7 , C l o t h e s In t h e C o m m e r c i a l D i r e c t o r y ? O r i s i t u s e d t o f i n d ou t w h e r e p e o p l e l i v e ? ( 7 , 4 ) . 31 . S m a s h e d s t a t u e - v e r y w i s e ; ( 6 ) . 3 2 S o u n d s a s if t h e r e a r e n o g o o d l a d i e s . ( 3 ) . 3 3 . I n v o i c e p o s t e r ? ( 4 ) . 3 4 . T o o k t h e I t a l i a n a i r a f t e r t h e F r e n c h b a d l y , a n d s u c c u m b e d t o i l l n e s s . ( 7 ) . 3 5 A w h o l e B e l g i a n t o w n i n t h e C i v i l S e r v i c e ? S o u n d s m o r e l i k e a M e d i t e r r a n e a n i s l a n d ! ( 7 ) .

Down 1 . C a t c h i n t h e i n s t r u m e n t — m u s t b e s o m e t h i n g t o d o w i t h t h e c r e s c e n t - s h a p e d a p e r t u r e ( 7 ) . 2 . F l a g r a n k . ( 6 ) . 3 . C h o o s e t h i s c o l l e g e ? U s e y o u r e y e s ! ( 5 ) . 5 . If ' t w e r e d o n e w h e n ' t w e r e * n e i n t h i s , y o u w o u l d n o t s e e J u l i u s C a e s a r i n a t o g a ! ( 6 , 5 ) . 6 . S i r R e v e r s e s , f o l l o w e d b y K a y e . T h e r e ' s d a n g e r h e r e . ( 4 ) . 7 . C a m p i n g ? T a k e w h a t ' s e s s e n t i a l , s t u d y b e f o r e h a n d a n d y o u s h o u l d be h a p p y ! ( 7 ) . 8 . Y o u c a n ' t b e a t h i m f o r s e r v i c e . ( 4 ) . 1 3 . S a w t h e ' C u t t y S a r k ' . A l s o a k i n d of h a t . ( 3 , 1 . 7 ) . 1 4 . N i n e of u s a p p a r e n t l y

w i t h o u t f i s h i n g e q u i p m e n t . ( 5 ) . 1 6 . A d u c k , o u t ' l e g b e f o r e ' . M u s t h a v e b e e n a h i g h b a l l . ( 3 ) . 1 8 . B r i n g t h e r o d u p r o u n d . T h a t ' s o u t s t a n d i n g ! ( 5 ) . 2 0 . P a t ' s a l i t t l e c r a z y , bu t s u i t a b l e . ( 3 ) . 2 2 . A t w o h u n d r e d p o u n d p u r p o s e ( l o u d a p p l a u s e ) . ( 7 ) . 2 4 . T h e y a r e b a s i c a l l y s o l u b l e

w h e n m i x e d , a s k L i l a ! ( 7 ) . 2 6 . P o s t O f f i c e p a r a s i t e s ? A f i n e w a y t o d e s c r i b l e t h e b o y s i n b l u e ! ( 6 ) . 2 8 . S k a t e r o u n d t h i s . ( 4 ) . j 2 9 . N e w Y o r k Is a f t e r t h e c e n t r e of t h e s y s t e m — i s J . im t h i s c h e e r f u l ? ( 5 ) . 3 0 . A l i t t l e s h o r t o n t a k e o n a n d l a n d i n g f a c i l i t i e s . ( 4 ) .

Solutions for this week's Crossword must reach the FEL IX Office by noon on Wednesday, July 30th. An address should also be enclosed.

Stella Godfrey

B Y N O W t h e e x a m s a r e a l m o s t o v e r a n d a l o n g , h o t s u m m e r l o o m s a h e a d o f u s : c e r t a i n t y n o t a t i m e f o r w o r r y i n g a b o u t a c c o m m o d a t i o n f o r n e x t y e a r . B u t , u n p l e a s a n t t h o u g h i t m a y s e e m , S e p t e m b e r w i l l b e u p o n u s a l l t o o s o o n a n d f l a t h u n t i n g w i l l b e t h e o r d e r o f t h e d a y .

O n e of t h e p r o b l e m s t h a t w i l l b e e n c o u n t e r e d i s f i n d i n g e x t r a p e o p l e t o f i l l a f l a t . I C W A m a y b e a b l e t o h e l p y o u . F r o m S e p t e m b e r 1 5 t h u n t i l t h e s t a r t o f n e x t t e r m , i t i s h o p e d t h a t a f l a s h a r e s e r v i c e c a n b e o f f e r e d . S o if y o u f i n d y o u r s e l f e i t h e r In t h e p o s i t i o n o f n e e d i n g s o m e o n e t o m a k e u p t h e n u m b e r s

f o r y o u r f l a t , o r n e e d i n g a p l a c e i n a f l a t p l e a s e c a l l i n t o t h e I C W A l o u n g e a n y w e e k d a y f r o m

t h e a b o v e d a t e o n w a r d s a n d w e w i l l d o w h a t w e c a n t o h e l p . T h e s e r v i c e , a l t h o u g h p r i m a r i l y f o r u s e b y w o m e n s t u d e n t s i n C o l l e g e , w i l l n o t b e r e s t r i c t e d t o j u s t w o m e n .

If a n y o n e i s i n t e r e s t e d i n h e l p i n g t o r u n t h e f l a t s h a r e s e r v i c e a n d w i l l b e i n L o n d o n a n y t i m e a f t e r S e p t e m b e r 1 5 t h , p l e a s e c o n t a c t m e v i a t h e U n i o n L e t t e r r a c k . No previous experience Is required!

A l s o , d o n o t f o r g e t t h a t t h e I C W A l o u n g e w i l l b e a v a i l a b l e f o r u s e a s a C o m m o n R o o m n e x t y e a r w i t h m a g a z i n e s , c o f f e e e t c p r o v i d e d s o p l e a s e m a k e u s e of I t .

Finally, bon vacance and see you next term!

The winner of the £3 prize for the Crossword No. 19 was P.A.. Lee of Maths 3. He is asked to forward his home ad­dress to the FELIX Office as soon as possible.

A n s w e r s t o C r o s s w o r d N o . 1 9 .

ACROSS : 1. Head over heels. 9 .Ape . 10. Modern. 12. Demean. 13. Car . 14 .Gigantic. 15.Takes off. 17.Am . 18.Fatten .20,Et«rna. 23.U p. 24.Camphors .27.Executor. 28.Nun. 29.Dreams . 30.Egg-cup. 33. Lea . 34 .Yellowhammers .

DOWN: 2 .Ego. 3 .Doe. 4.Ven«tian. 5.Redact. 6 Emergent. 7 .Sancho. 8-Tear off a strip.. 10.Magnificently . 11 .Digest. 16.As . 20-Ephemera. 21 Rust i c . 22.Or. 25.Monday . 26.See<saw. 31.Gum. 32.UAR .

F E L I X

A Y E A R WITH

RCS Martin Kess ler & Nick Payne

T H E P A S T s e s s i o n has seen the R o y a l C o l l e g e of Sc i ence Un i on con t inu ing w i th a l l of i t s t r ad i t i ona l a c t i v i t i e s and ventur ing into s e v e r a l to ta l l y new f i e l d s . O v e r a l l , i t has been a r e a s o n a b l y s u c c e s s f u l year and it is hoped that a f irm foundat ion has been l a id for next years o f f icers to bu i l d upon .

Our Sports C l u b s have a l l had very good s e a s o n s , e s p e c i a l l y the Rugby and Hockey c l u b s . R C S Rugby l s t X V d id not lose a match before Chr i s tmas and only f a i l ed to rega in the Sparkes C u p because in the event of a t i e , the holders re ta in i t . R C S H o c k e y l o s t on ly one game out of fourteen in their s u c c e s s f u l campaign to w i n the Stephenson C u p and to ga in promotion to the l s t d i v i s i o n of the U L league . The T e c h C u p is the main reason for the e x i s t ence of R C S Soccer C l u b and th is was won by hammering Mines 5-2 and G u i l d s 6 -0 . R i f l e and Boa t C l u b s both d id better than expec ted and have the bas i s for good teams in the future .The academic s o c i e t i e s have cont inued to attract interest i n both their l ec tures and brewery t r i p s . C h e m s o c and B i o c h e m s o c have been pa r t i cu l a r l y a c t i v e .

The R a g effort reached its peak w i th the Depar tmenta l C o l l e c t i o n s , i n w h i c h a barre l of beer was offered to the year that c o l l e c t e d most per h e a d . T h i s bait r esu l t ed in the phenomenal sum of £1100 be ing c o l l e c t e d i n O N E d a y . T h e las t stunt was the most a m b i t i o u s , a round-London Treasure Hunt based on the s i t e s of the 'Monopoly' b o a r d . Other prof i table c o l l e c t i o n s inc luded a mock foo tba l l match outs ide Harrods and the a l c o h o l i c

PHOENIX Reviewed Ian Morse

T H E R E - E M E R G E N C E of P H O E N I X after an absence of some three y ea rs , left me wonder ing (after read ing it from front to front) if the contents dep ic ted the genes i s of budding young contemp­orary a r t i s t s or the w o r t h l e s s meanderings of ado l escen t p l s s - a r t i s t s .

How wou ld I know? I ' l l d r ink Watneys, Tar tan or any other l i qu id refreshment provided I do not have to pay more than 1p .

A n y w a y , I found the artwork in general was down on previous i s s u e s , except ions be ing 'The Lost Cause' and N i c k E u s t a n c e ' s p i e c e . The poems of Mess rs A p p l e b y and C l i m o -show that they probably get their insp i ra t i on from outs ide I C . ' The Audience' was obv i ous l y the work of a g e n i u s .

Were the short s to r i es (together wi th ' A r t of Comput ing ' ) the most wor thwhi l e i n c l u s i o n s ? On ba lance , they probably w e r e .

O v e r a l l , I suppose it wou ld be fair to say the E d i t o r d id a remarkable job gett ing any th ing pub l i shed at a l l , c ons ide r ing 4 ,000 e l i g i b l e 'artists' seem to be suf fer ing from the 'apathy rules' syndrome. Let us hope more than a handful of students contr ibute mater ia l for the next i s s u e , and s o hope fu l l y , ra ise the s tandard .

S t i l l , it seems so far to be a most popular pub l i c a t i on , by the way people were buy ing it in the Un i on bar. B i l l Gerrard go ing around l i ke a Sdva t i on Army Of f icer on a Saturday night s e l l i n g cop i e s of 'Wa r c r y ! ' . . . or was it 'Young Soldier'?

carol s i n g i n g and these he lped us to our f ina l to ta l of £3700, the best for many years .

The d i n n e r s , o rgan ised by R C S U , have been cha rac t e r i s ed , for the f i rs t time in many yea rs , by e f f i cent , smooth and re l i ab l e o r g a n i s a t i o n . The F r e s h e r s ' D inner ' g a v e the newcomers in each department a n ins i gh t into the U n i o n and an opportunity to meet some members of staff . T h i s run of d inners cu lm ina ted in the one for the new D i v i s i o n of L i f e S c i e n c e s , at tended by the Rec t o r , D e a n , no l e ss than four Heads of Departments and about 200 l e s s e r mor t a l s . Dur ing the year two other formal d inners were he I d . The f i r s t was a qua l i t y dinner to ce lebrate the c h r i s t e n i n g of the new T h e t a , wh i ch occured , amid the popping of Champagne bot t le c o r k s , at 1930 hours on Thursday 13th F e b r u a r y . The A n n u a l D inner was held ea r l y in the summer term, attended by some hundred peop le .

The U n i o n ' s Enter ta inments Commit t ee , after running a very popular Smoking Conce r t , entered ske t ches in the other C C U Revues and then exper imented w i th "Voluptuous Variety",an o ld T i m e M u s i c h a l l . A lot of hard work was put into this and desp i te the s m a l l aud ience it was very w e l l r e c e i v ed and there are p lans for another M u s i c H a l l next year . The A n n u a l B a l l was aga in he ld at S i lwood Pa rk and , desp i te minor f r i c t i on wi thsome r e s i d e n t s , was enjoyed by a l l a t t end ing . A d i s c o was prov ided as w e l l as the u s u a l dance band, cabare t , coffee lounge and bar . A n ex t ens i on of E n t s was to prov ide a regular 'Night Out' in the second term. T h i s grew out of an idea used in R a g Week and these events inc luded ice s k a t i n g and tr ips to C i n e m a and T h e a t r e .

J e z e b e l went , as an observer , on the V C C Br i gh ton R u n in November and one of the b ig-end bear ings d i s in t eg ra t ed . She was towed back to C o l l e g e , a r r i v ing in the very ear l y hours and was off the road for s i x months. A f te r only 200 mi les the new bear ing i s showing s i g n s of wear and so Je z i s , once a g a i n , in p ieces to determine the cause and app ly some prevent i t i ve m e d i c i n e . A f t e r the loss of The ta to G u i l d s and its subsequent recovery f o l l ow ing a protracted ' t r easure ' hunt, c ons t ruc t i on of a new Theta was begun. It now c o n s i s t s of a s t a i n l e s s s t e e l bulb wi th s i x feet of hydrau l i c p ip ing a t tached . The whole we ighs over 1 OOlbs and the bulb is engraved w i th an R C S C r o w n , a c a p i t a l ' T h e t a ' and the year ' 1 9 7 5 ' . The stem has a logar i thmic sca l e from zero to in f i n i t y .

On the p u b l i c i t y and r e t a i l s i d e , Broadshee t has cont inued to be pub l i shed and the range of R C S goods a va i l ab l e has been ex tended . Broadshee t appeared for tn ight ly for the f i r s t two terms and in the last i ssue conta ined s e ve ra l pages of l i thoed photographs, the qua l i t y of w h i c h e a s i l y r i v a l l e d F E L I X . (Who is Mike Williams anyway?). R C S S l o p p a n d T - sh i r t s have been s e l l i n g w e l l and new l ines inc lude s i n g l e t s , l ong-s leeved T - s h i r t s , R C S H o l d - a l l s and T h e t a s h i r t s .

The year has marked a d i s t i n c t improvement in R C S U / R C S A (O ld Students A s s o c i a t i o n ) c o - o p e r a t i o n and co-ventures . The two organ isa t ions have shared a handbook for s e v e ra l years and , to enable present students to meet past ones , R C S A ran a s e r i e s of sherry part ies for s e cond year students .

The past year has seen the start of the end of an era for the U n i o n . R C S U goes into s e s s i o n 1975/76 hav ing — hopeful ly — moved into a su i te of o f f ices in the newly completed W2 and a l s o equipped w i th a new masco t , unv i o l a t ed to date , thanks to the ef forst of D a d ' s A r m y . The Un ion must cater for a l l tastes and thus its o f f icers must make a l l p o s s i b l e efforts to f ind out the v i ews of the U n i o n members and the U n i o n members must t e l l their o f f icers what they want done . T h i s is necessary in order that the R o y a l C o l l e g e of Sc i ence U n i o n may cont inue to play i ts role in co l l e ge l i fe .

A Y E A R WITH, ^

C & G £l Jenny Jones

1974-75 H A S seen many changes i n G u i l d s Un i on some temporary, l i ke a female P r e s i d e n t , others l i k e the improve­ment of the E x e c etc not hopeful ly jus t a one year th ing .

We star ted off the year w i th a very s u c c e s s f u l i f exhaus t ing F r e she r s week when we seemed to enter ta in the freshers to beer , and yet more bee r . The f i r s t bar night was very good w i th Chem E n g 3 s tak ing their c l a i m to the crown of champion boat r a c e r s !

F r e she r s D inners went off very w e l l too , apart from D a v e ' s and my grey ha i rs at the Chem E n g D inner when we fu l l y expec ted a f ierce batt le w i th R C S hav ing p r ev i ous l y ' bo r rowed ' the ir mascot from the Maths F r e she r s D inne r . Which very neat ly br ings me on to that top ic very dear to the hearts of a l l of us th is year:-masco t r y . T h i s year we have suceeded in tak ing three masco t s , The ta from R C S Davy from R S M a n d Ph ineas from U C . Apart from the terr i f i c prest ige and glory it has g iven to G u i l d s I hope that we have s tar ted up the mascotry war a ga in , w h i c h I th ink is a very important part of b e l i n g -ing to a C C U . A l r e ady R C S and R S M have made them new much more n i ckab l e masco t s . F i e l d cup happened(?) a ga in and much to our s u r p r i s e , as shame on us we were not too sure who Management Sc i ence were, the trendy e x e cu t i v e s in the pin s t r iped s u i t s won by dr ink ing vas t quant i t i e s of beer wine w h i s k e y g i n . . . . honest guv I d idn ' t let them bribe me!

B o went down to Br i gh t on yet a g a i n , (even though we d id not have an o f f i c i a l entry) and has a l s o just come back from the Manchester to B l a c k p o o l R u n w i t h just a couple of p i eces o f s i l v e rwa r e ! The pedal car c l u b went off to B r i s t o l a g a i n , and a l though they had scrapped the event that we normal ly w i n without t e l l i n g us we managed to w in one p r i z e . Motor C l u b too has been organ is ing r a l l i e s , treasure hunts and au to - t e s t s . Its very n i ce to see the 'Old Lags' turning out for these e ven t s .

C a r n i v a l d id not happen as usua l in the f i r s t term, but eventua l l y we held it in the f i r s t week of the spr ing term. A t long las t the saga of the damage is now over and we have pa id £100 towards a l l eged damage. I think that C a r n i v a l w i l l not be in C o l l e g e B l o c k for a w h i l e . The D inner and Dance , a l though an outs tanding s u c c e s s , was not very w e l l attended and I can see there be ing problems in the future o rgan is ing the more formal type of event w i th in the students pocket .

Revue was the other t rad i t i ona l event that happened and th is too was s u c c e s s f u l w i th apparent ly a pretty ropey s t r ipper . We t r i ed some G u i l d s out ings too th is year : we went on a pub c r a w l and to the c inema and hope fu l ly they w i l l be extended and improved ne.xt yea r .

Spor t ingwise too we seem to have been fa i r l y s u c c e s s f u l : we won the sparkes C u p (just) and the Courtman Sh i e ld (overwhe lming ly ) .

Our Un i on meetings have not been very w e l l a t tended, part ly due to the rather rowdy af fa irs that they have become but we have had a coup le of very amus ing ones the best be ing I th ink the handover meet ing at the A lbe r t Memor ia l where apparent ly we broke every rule i n the book.

A s I s a i d I th ink that we have had a good year th is year desp i t e many s e tbacks and I hope that next year C i t y and G u i l d s U n i o n w i l l go from strength to s t r e n g t h .

FELIX 5

A Y E A R WITH ^

R S M ^ John Mortimer

T O S U M U P , in s o few words , the many ach ievements of s o many people wou ld be imposs ib l e and any attempt i n f i n i t e l y bor ing to the majority of F E L I X readers . A year of invo lvement w i th IC Un i on has conv inced me that student power at I C van be def ined as one of two th ings ; e i ther the output and annoyance va lue of a stereo sys t em or the a b i l i t y of e lbow and forearm to perform c y c l i c operat ions for per iods normal ly ranging between 1 and 24 h o u r s .

So d i sappo in ted was I at one s tage , w i th the l e v e l of student pa r t i c i pa t i on that I, s e l f s t y l ed opponent of P h i l l i p s i a n left w i n g subve r s i on , found myse l f p ropos ing such unspor t ing p loys as "executive walkouts" and "withdrawal of facilities". However , my daytr ip to the Le f t E n d soon ended on r e a l i s i n g that the U n i o n a l l o c a t i o n of funds was on a per cap i t a b a s i s . It occured to me, in a ba lance res tor ing f l a s h , that the fewer people making use of the U n i o n ' s resources and se r v i c es the more that remained for those who enjoyed pa r t i c i pa t i ng . A s I was amongst th is number, it therefore seemed in t e l l i g en t to ignore the whole i s s u e . My normal imbalance hav ing been therefore res tored , I t r ied to come to terms w i th student apathy w i th respect to IC Un i on

and never qui te s u c c e e d e d . Of course it is not so d i f f i cu l t i n M i n e s ,

where an average of about 50% under­graduate pa r t i c i pa t i on can be a c h i e v e d , and it is in this sp i r i t that our strength in Mines l i e s .

Desp i t e a few set backs dur ing the year , notably the removal of our D a v y by G u i l d s , a char i tab le oppos i t i on wou ld not deny the qua l i t y performance of our s m a l l s e c t i o n of the c o l l e g e . The s u c c e s s is a t t r ibutab le to the Mines Sp i r i t (mostly a l c o h o l ) , i t s ' members and the organ isers of the years s o c i a l and rag c o l l e c t i n g a c t i v i t i e s . E v e n tak ing account of i n f l a t i on , our cont r ibut ion of £2350 to rag g ives some i nd i c a t i on of the very hard work put i n by Pa t Gorman and the S o c i a l Reps .

The r e l a t i onsh ip of Great B r i t a i n to the Common Market is pa ra l l e l ed by the Cons t i tuen t Co l l ege/ Imper ia l C o l l e g e r e l a t i o n s h i p s . In the search for uni ty and e f f i c i ency the const i tuent o rgan isa t i on combine , exchang ing s e r v i c e s and shar ing f a c i l i t i e s . A s a natura l consequence some right to s e l f determinat ion is s a c r i f i c e d and this has been a c c e p t e d .

I suspec t , however , that to many, the va lue of the ir group ident i ty w i th in the sys t em is of utmost importance. Is i t imposs ib l e to be pro B r i t a i n and pro Europe? Is it p o s s i b l e to be pro C C U and pro Imper ia l C o l l e g e ? Pu t l i k e t h i s , the answer is s imp l e . C l e a r l y , there need be no c o n f l i c t . In my op in i on con f l i c t a r i s e s when the tesue of ident i ty is forgotten.

In Mines we are proud of our C o l l e g e , as indeed are members of l e s s e r i n s t i t u ­t ions proud of their own, and r i gh t l y s o . The reason con f l i c t a r i s es l i e s in the

fa i lure of Imper ia l C o l l e g e U n i o n to r ecogn ise and u t l i l i s e the ident i ty of the C C U ' s to the community advantage . Ra ther , they choose to ignore i t , c r ea t ing a fourth unit rather than a combinat i on of three.

The strength of Imper ia l C o l l e g e is the : pride that we have in our i n s t i t u t i o n s . The reason Imper ia l C o l l e g e ' s reputat ion is h i gh i s because of the reputat ion i t has in the f i e l d of minera l and meta l p roduc t i on , of eng ineer ing and of s c i e n c e . Imper ia l C o l l e g e is nothing i f not a combinat i on of these .

The C C U sys t em has been a t t acked before and w i l l , no doubt , be a t tacked a g a i n . I be l i eve it i s the r ight and proper way to make use of the s p i r i t w h i c h e x i s t s in the cons t i tuen t C o l l e g e s . T o do s o , I m p e r i a l C o l l e g e U n i o n shou ld be s t ructured as a py ramid . Pu t s imp l y for mathamat ic ians and s c i e n t i s t s : -

3 x C C U S I C U N B : Depend ing on comp l ex i on of power, I C U may be p l a ced on the left of the e q u a l i t y . However , th is may produre an i n equa l i t y ,

I C U <• 3 x C C U . It was for th is reason that I opposed

the I C U E x e c u t i v e p o s i t i o n for the P o s t Graduate A f fa i rs O f f i ce r . Over the y ea rs , I C U posts have become en t i r e l y indepen­dent of C C U ' s and th is makes I C U a weak and ine f fect ive mach ine . Our strength is through the C C U ' s . I hope that next year the s i tua t i on may improve and that the recent s o c i a l s u c c e s s e s may c on t i nue . In th is I w i s h you a l l the very best of l u c k . P S . Come and see me in C o r n w a l l

DRAMSOC Tom Stevenson

IT H A S been a very s u c c e s s f u l s eason for IC D r a m s o c . We began the year w i th a tour of As You Like It to s c h o o l s in the south of Eng l and (see F E L I X No . 363) ; we a l s o performed to publ ic aud iences at Lymington and W i n c h e s t e r .

The new s e s s i o n saw an inf lux of keen new members (not a l l of them freshers) and th i s was perhaps the main c a u s e of our haven the f e s t i v a l gave severa l s u c c e s s in the December Product ions from abroad, and to product ionof The Real Inspector t a k e P a r t i n , h e var ious work-Hound and Albert's Bridge, shops offered, both by Tom S t oppa rd . The A s w e " a s P i t t i n g on our play introudced E r i c S t o v e l l o w n Product ions we have made to an u n s u s p e c t i n g IC v i s i t s t oa numberof p ro f ess iona l aud i ence ; E r i c went on to score shows , both in the wes t end great triumphs in our E a s t e r and on the fringe . Perhaps most product ion at the N a t i o n a l notable were to Equusand John Student Drama F e s t i v a l , and Gadriel Borkmann at the in our P r e s i d e n t i a l e l e c t i o n s . Na t i ona l Theatre .

If our Stoppard twosome It is d i f f i cu l t to wr i te a brought in the crowds on their rev iew of the year wi thout own reputat ion, the same ment ioning the cont r iout ion cannot be s a i d of our E a s t e r that Anony Potter and our product ion - The Sport of My va l i an t stagecrew have made Mad Mother (or SPOMM as she to the s u c c e s s of va r i ous other a f f ec t ionate ly became ca l l ed ) events in the C o l l e g e . O p s o c , by A n n J e l l i c o e . It must be C C U ' s and ICWA depend on con fessed that many of our own their support in prov id ing members had not heard of the l i ght ing and other f a c i l i t i e s at play desp i te its s u c c e s s in a strange t imes of day and night . 1 975 Observer play compet i t i on Are you t h i n k i n g of j o in ing organised by Kenneth T y n a n . us next s e s s i o n ? Our p lans for The play revea led the l i v e s of next year are not at a l l c e r t a in four cockney teenagers before at the moment; we have how-the days of Donny Osmond and ever been promised lots of the s u c c e s s e s of Leeds U n i t e d . theatre v i s i t s and workshop

Dur ing the E a s t e r vaca t i on s e s s i o n s . If you are interested we were honoured to be inv i ted in l i gh t ing , sound or s tagework to present Albert's Bridge at we s h a l l be pa r t i cu la r l y the Na t i ona l Student Drama interested to hear from you , in F e s t i v a l in the C o l l e g i a t e our storeroom on the eas t theatre at U C L . Apar t from s t a i r c a s e of the Un i on bui Id ing making IC known as a cu l tu ra l above the concer t h a l l .

FOLK CLUB Anon

T H E 1974-75 s e s s i o n has been a fu l l and var ied program at , the c l u b , from the extreme t r ad i t i ona l i sm of Martin Carthy — who

pu l l ed a vas t aud ience on the opening night of the year — to the ded ica ted lunacy of Fred Wedlock — who a l s o managed to f i l l the Un ion Lower refectory w i th an e n t h u s i a s t i c aud i ence . There have

memorable been many other even ings w i th such people as Magic Lantern { and ' the ir Shadow Puppets ) , Gary and Vera Aspey and Trotto to mention a f ew.

A s a change to the regular c l u b there have been three c e i l i d h s dur ing the year, a l l w e l l J t t ended . The last of these , ea r l i e r th i s term, started w i th a Morr is d i sp l a y by Albion Morris Men, in the Un i on quad and then moved up to the conce i t h a l l for more Morr is danc ing , parlour ba l l ads from Mr Gladstone's Bag and a coup le of hours , dur ing w h i c h assor t ed combinat ions of 'Swinging partners' 'Promen­ading', 'left and right hand stars' etc were to confuse a l l those who ventured onto the f loor .

The c l u b sees a lot of people coming in from other c o l l e g e s a l l over London, something l i ke 25% of our members are from co l l e g e s other than IC . There has been a s teady f low of v i s i t i n g f l oor -s ingers , on o c c a s i o n s from p laces outs ide of London .

We are a l l set to cont inue the past s u c c e s s of the c l u b In the autumn term. The f i rs t day

of next term sees Mike Harding who c l a i m s that he was too poor to be born and had to be knit ted by the WVS. There Is a fu l l programme of guest a r t i s t s at the regular Wednesday even ing c l u b , except Rag-week when there w i l l be a R a g -C e i l i d h .

We are a l s o arranging a fo lk concer t , featur ing Frog Morton — an increas ing ly popular e l e c t r i c fo lk band — plus support . D e t a i l s about th is and a l l other events w i l l be a v a i l a b l e fr^m our s tand at the F r e s h e r s ' F a i r .

Assessment procedure.

f o o l

Reconstitute only 0 after exams 1 I L

i m i x

Quotes From M M H H W p H H N | H H H H I H m | M >

The Past Year SO H E R E it f i n a l l y i s : the list of quotes w h i c h , i t was

thought, wou ld never be published. E a c h quote was taken down soon after it was uttered and the l i s t s t re tches back to the beg inn ing of the s e s s i on . ' In c e r t a in c a s e s the ident i t y of the person who made the quote has to remain anonymous ; suffice i t i s to say that a l l are known pe rsona l l y by the E d i t o r .

* R e : Imperial C o l l e g e .

"/ never was an elitist until I came to this place." Tom Abraham, P G A O . R e : ICU e l e c t i o n s .

"If they keep on bashing Clive Dewey much longer, he'll soon qualify as a battered baby." — Anon. R e : Working for F E L I X . . .

"Time sorts outs the suckers from the men in this job" - John M c C l o s k e y , Fel ix Staff. R e : S o c i a l a t t i t u d e s .

"I'm not a snob really." — Katie Mackinnon, President, IF. R e : The impending C & G U e l e c t i o n s .

"The Guilds electorate are basically just a bunch of morons." — Someone who really ought to have known better! R e : Improving F E L I X ,

"Without being immodest..." — Cl ive Dewey. R e : P o l i t i c a l a t t i t u d e s .

"Being insulted by the Editor of FELIX just substantiates my left-wing credentials" — Tom Abraham, P G A O . R e : A n o n y m o u s .

"I've been lying through my back teeth all year." — A member of the Exec . R e : A cock -up dur ing the product ion F E L I X .

*' I'm a prat .1 really am." - John McCloskey, F E L I X Staff . R e : T r y i n g to get the E d i t o r to omit the l as t quote .

"Please Mike, please!I' 11 even get down on my stomach!'"— John M c C l o s k e y , F E L I X Sta f f . R e : F E L I X be ing var i t yped " u n j u s t i f i e d " .

"Dear Sir, Due to the lack of justification in last week's FELIX, I feel totally unjustified. Yours, Naused Beyond Belief".- Richard Waring, F E L I X Staff. R e : Con fus i on at C o u n c i l over s tand ing orders i

"Council seems to be in danger of disappearing up its own orifice." — 'A highly respected member of Counci l . R e : A new l a d i e s l oo i n the U n i o n .

"We don't want to get bogged down on that issue." — Trevor Phil l ips, I C U President . R e : Working for F E L I X .

"I shall now go and make love, to the folding machine." — Roger Wilkins, F E L I X Staff . R e : A d v e r t i s i n g in F E L I X .

"May I make a tentative grovel for some space in your illustrious publication?" — Nick Payne, RCSU'Hon.Sec- . Re: A n o n y m o u s .

" . .but I am a shit!" - Keith Ahlers, C & G U Pres select. R e : C h a r l e s C l a r k e , N U S P r e s i d e n t - e l e c t .

"Charles is a fat bore". — Alastair Stewart, N U S Deputy President-elect. R e : The p o s s i b i l i t y of John Car r (current ly U L U P r es iden t and N U S V i c e -p r e s i d en t wi thout port fo l io ) becoming a n M P .

"John Carr is basically a joke. The one chance he stands of becoming an MP lies in the fact that Parliament at the moment reflects the sense of the British people. Since most of the people are basically very thick, then John Carr stands a very good chance of becoming an MP." — John Randall, N U S President.

Cont rary to popular be l i e f , the E d i t o r h i m s e l f d i d not make any statements r ea l l y worth q u o t i n g .

But this is no

ORDINARY

London Bus

PROFILE THE EDITOR

Paul Ekpenyong Riz Shakir Richard Waring

M i c h a e l J o h n L l e w e l l y n W i l l i a m s was born and e d u c a t e d . H e came to IC in 1971 to study Chemis t r y and hav ing passed h i s f i rs t year , was promoted to D e p . R e p . S u c c e s s at th i s brought him to the e l evated heights of floor rep . to ICU C o u n c i l . He par t i c ipated fu l ly in C o u n c i l a f fa i rs and made h i s presence fe l t , r a i s i n g the status of the floor rep from i ts prev i ous l y inoperat ive d e p t h s . However , para l l e l to h is more se r i ous pursu i t s , he was the E d i t o r of the R a g Mag — notable for i ts infamous " d e a d baby j o k e s " .

P rog ress ing " n a t u r a l l y " from being the Cha i rman of the Working Party c ons i d e r i ng the future of F E L I X , he subsequen t l y became its E d i t o r . A job to w h i c h he devoted a l l h i s energ ies and has fo l lowed w i th a s ing l e -m indedness w h i c h has lead to the red iscovery of s k i l l s lost dur ing the letterpress e r a . The d e d i c a t i o n w i th w h i c h he has t ack l ed the minumerable problems w h i c h faced him a t the outset r esu l t ed in h i s be ing awarded a thoroughly deserved U G A .

H'is year in of f ice has , however , not been wi thout con t rove rsy , for w h i l e h is rev i ews have caused no comment, the introduct ion of the page three photograph has drawn the comment; "He is a male chauvinst s"t." A t t imes , he has vo i c ed doubts about the job and on a S T O I C interv iew s a i d , "You have to be a dildo to do this job". He can only but be pra ised for h i s attempts to integrate F E L I X into the IC s o c i a l l i f e ; the F E L I X A N N U A L M O T O R R A L L Y and the F E L I X P H O T O G R A P H I C C O M P E T I T I O N being prime examples of t h i s .

On ge t t ing to know him w e l l one soon r e a l i s e s h i s true charac te r . Beh ind h i s durable author i ta t i ve exter ior lurks a nos ta l g i c s e n t i m e n t a l i s t . Wh i l s t producing the 25th Anniversary Issue h i s des i r e to br ing back the past and put F E L I X above eve ry th ing e l s e mani fested i t se l f g r e a t l y . T o be fair one must quote h im, "Not all of us are in it for the ego-trip",

Mike tends to be a bit of a lone wol f but after knowing him for a w h i l e h i s i n i t i a l l y reserved a t t i tude changes to one of a good f r i end . He is a keen spor tsman, r i f l e and p i s to l shoot ing be ing h i s forte for w h i c h he has won va r i ous meda l s .

M ike w i l l now be d i r e c t i ng h i s abundant ta lents to research into the propert ies of po lymers . He w i l l no doubt be prominent in the Un ion and w i l l express h i s v i ews on the var ious t op i cs of the d a y . It only remains for the Ed i t o r - e l e c t to gather up the p ieces of the F E L I X staf f and f i l l in the necessary gaps to proceed on another y ea r ' s pub l i ca t i on o f th is outs tand ing newspaper . V i v a W i l l i a m s !

F i t IX 7

BO at Blackpool

MIKE WILLIAMS PROUDLY PRESENTS:-

THE EPILOGUE OR: Reflections on the past year The pas t year for F E L I X has been one of inexorab le change . A new method of p r in t ing

has been adopted and the a s s o c i a t e d h a s s l e to e s t a b l i s h the new pattern of product ion was a n t i c i p a t e d , encountered and f i n a l l y conquered i n the d i f f i cu l t and protracted b i r th of what i s , i n e s s e n c e , a new k i n d of F E L I X . B u t the newness does not stop at the p h y s i c a l appearance of the newspaper . My major criteria for the future development of FELIX are rooted in the past, hound in black buckram and are currently sitting on one of the shelves in my office quietly representing twenty-five years of student life at IC, warts and all. Insofar as a n innova t i on (as opposed to a g immick ) i s a ves t i ge of progress, then it f o l l ows that F E L I X has made g iant s t r ides s ince 1949 hence true to t rad i t i on I have been at pa ins to encourage innovat ions th is year such as the V a c a t i o n I s s u e s , the Caree rs Supplement , the Motor R a l l y , the Photograph ic Compe t i t i on e tc s o that F E L I X not on ly looks new but is new. B u t to beg in at the b e g inn ing .

Charles Lamont

I S U P P O S E some people spend the weekend before their exams d o i n g r e v i s i o n but for a few of us this is imposs ib l e because the annua l Manchester to B l a c k ­poo l Ve t e ran and V in tage R a l l y f a l l s on the f i rs t Sunday of June ; B o ' a lways i n s i s t s on go ing and has to be accompanied (he is not yet o ld enough to be trusted a l one ) .

T h i s year we were g iven the daunt ing t a sk of at tempt ing to re ta in 80% of the a v a i l a b l e t rophies . O n a r r i v a l at the s ta r t , so much time was put into the p o l i s h i n g , in an attempt to re ta in the Concour s e T rophy , that we forgot to read the regula t ions and this r esu l t ed i n our r e c e i v i n g three time fau l t s : one for be ing a minute ear l y at the f i rs t time con t r o l , the second for not be ing the same amount ear ly at the second , and the third for be ing a minute ear l y (again) at the end . Con fused? So were we .

A t the P o l i c e H Q at Hut ton a l l the veh i c l e s were put through a d r i v i n g test , Which as far as B o ' was concerned was test of h i s rather min ima l l o ck , s i n c e in order to get round the tight corners i n t ime, even at the hands of the int rep id R a i n e , a c e r t a in amount of rear-end s l i d e and oppos i te l o ck was in e v i d e n c e . E v e n so we were s t i l l 313 seconds over time w h i c h p laced us about 10th out of the 175 or so en t r i e s .

A l though the ru les sugges ted that veterans shou ld be loaded onto t ra i l e rs at Hut ton , we dec ided that i t would be qu i cke r to dr ive B o ' the remain ing twenty m i l e s to B l a c k p o o l v i a the v intage route , rather than have to load up and then observe the 40mph t ra i l e r towing l i m i t . Some of the marshalls took quite a lot of persuading that although we were still driving, we were no longer competing. Most of th is part of the journey was spent w a v i n g at spectators who seemed to have taken the opportunity of the fine weather to come out in force. Nex t year, an automat i c w a v i n g arm w i l l have to be i n s t a l l e d , as in Her Ma j es t y ' s v e h i c l e s .

A f te r an exce l l en t buffet luncheon on the te legraph at the Norbreck C a s t l e H o t e l i n B l a c k p o o l , we were expec ted to take part in an e x c e p t i o n a l l y s i l l y p r o c e s s i on w h i c h invo l ved at tempt ing to make a coup l e of hundred e l d e r l y v e h i c l e s t rave l a couple of mi l es at l e ss than a w a l k i n g pace . Supr i s ing though i t may seem, the older the v e h i c l e , the more d i f f i cu l t th is i s ; B o ' was the second most sen io r entry and he reg is tered h i s ob jec t i on by s oo t i ng h i s p lugs but at l eas t he d id not t o t a l l y l oose h i s c oo l (a phenomenon to be noted amongst some of h i s jun iors l i ke the 1913 A l l d a y s & Onions w h i c h was b o i l i n g v i go rous l y ) .

We returned to the ho te l at a s u i t a b l y p lug - c l ean ing spped to arr ive f i rs t i n a thoroughly uno f f i c i a l race back for the even ing gather ing and our cutomary trophy c o l l e c t i o n .

A n hour la ter , and for the next f i ve , the D o l l y Sprint t ender car w i th B o ' i n c l o s e pursu i t (what's that damned veteran car doing on my tail? I'm doing 60!) was to be seen head ing down the M6/MI w i th "/ spy with my little eye" be ing p layed into the ea r l y hours of the morning and gett ing i n c r e a s i n g l y d e v i o u s , (we had to keep awake — honest ! )

T h e tr iumphant team w i th i t s two trophies , (only two??) ar r i ved at B o ' s garage at 1.30 am and wi thout further ado went to bed (not in the garage s i l l y . What e x a m a t 9 .30? ) .

T h a n k s to Tony Ra ine (tender behind) and R i c h Gundersen (Navigator — "Where and w e ? " and most l y B o ' (What 30 l im i t ? ) for a great weekend .

Augus t l s t las t year saw an enthus­i a s t i c Chemis t ry graduate t a k i n g the he lm, conf ident of be ing at l eas t able to stay af loat after be ing thrown in at the deep e n d . It d id take me a wh i l e to determine that the prev ious yea r ' s regime had inadver tant ly encased my feet in concrete (and to my mis for tune , not the h igh a lumino - s t l i c a t e k ind ) . / swammeth not. I didst flounder immeasurably and found it grotesquely unfunny.

The o f f se t - l i tho and its ret inue of a s s o c i a t e d machinery had an a lmost in f in i te absorp t i on coe f f i c i en t in respect of the we i rdes t spec t rum of unwelcome gremlins imag ineab l e . In h inds i gh t , I r ea l i s e it wou ld have been a hedge aga ins t i n f l a t i on had I inves t ed in a firm w h i c h manufactures a s p i r i n s . B y the time the s e s s i o n was about to beg in , w i th the product ion of the D ia r y hav ing p r a c t i c a l l y done me to dea th , I was prepared to jack i t i n , throw in the towe l , r e s i gn , k i c k the U n i o n up the bum and laugh a l l the way back to the polymer l abs . Sad l y , some hero i c demon caught me unawares . / was going to see it through come hell or high water.

The f i r s t term as in any k i n d of se l f -perpetuat ing , connec ted se r i e s had its unusua l even extreme b e g i n n i n g s . The F r e s h e r s ' I ssue was a to ta l pa in in the naus . Imagine the scene at midnight the F r i d a y before the beg inn ing of t e r m . T h e l i tho-operator is hang ing around wa i t i ng to run the las t p late w h i c h happens to be the cover . The front page is a head l ine , one story ("Refectory Prices Up 17 Per Cent")and the rest b l a n k . I am f r an t i c a l l y va r i t yp ing another story ("Copulation: a Union Discipline Offence?"). I ' ts done, t i t l ed i s l e t rase t ted , i t ' s a l l pasted-up and i t ' s 2 a m . The r e ' s s t i l l a n i ce b i g space in the middle to f i l l . The l i tho -operator is get t ing impat ient . Suddenly a f l a sh of gross i n s p i r a t i o n : "How about space-filling with FELIX WELCOMES FRESHERS'?" P a u s e . Sound ef fects denotes severe h o n k i n g . B u t there 's no other c h o i c e . So i t goes i n .

E l s e w h e r e , egoes were s t rut t ing ( e spec i a l l y when drunk) , grand postures were be ing s t r u c k a n d haughty a f fec tat ions of s tatus g l i b l y g l i d ed from bubble to bubb l e . T h i s was IC at i ts most ente r ta in ­i n g . The compet i t i ve s p i r i t was f resh and aggress ive and morale was h i g h . New ground was e f f o r t l e ss l y be ing covered d a i l y . A n d there was the E d i t o r , h i s concrete s o c k s on ly j u s t beg inning to c h i p away , down at the deep e n d .

Say a loud i n an a c c u s i n g v o i c e : "Why is FELIX such an insignificant size? Why are the photos so crummy? What do you mean, there's been machine trouble? What are the so-called production difficulties? Why the hell haven't you printed our sports reports? What does

'opportunist' mean? Just what do you do with your sabbatical time, eh? What do you mean you haven't got time to produce and distribute those UGM posters? The Union Publicity had better be done by tomorrow — or else!" A g g r e s s i o n was i n the ascendant . D e l e t e ' l e t t e rp r e ss ' ; inser t ' o f f s e t - l i t h o ' ; now cons i d e r the rami f i ca t i ons of produc ing a pub l i c a t i on yourse l f on the p r e m i s e s . D o n ' t th ink too hard, your b ra in w i l l get zapped through severe ove rwork . I am unable to avo id being angered by the concept of in to le rance on such a wide s c a l e .

The f i r s t term saw F E L I X ce lebrate i ts S i l v e r Ann i v e r sa r y . B a r r i n g the banana fritter (t itter t i t ter ) the commemorat ive dinner was a great s u c c e s s w i t h seventy people a t tend ing , e ight of w h i c h were past E d i t o r s .

The 25th A n n i v e r s a r y i s s u e was an ambit ious project w h i c h on ly jus t made i t , but it never the less pa id off handsomely . The intent ion was to make it a c o l l e c t o r ' s item w i th the s i l v e r banner and t r immings , twenty pages , go ld heavyweight cover and w i th p la tes con ta in ing photographs be ing made p ro f e s s i ona l l y i n Chance r y L a n e . The fact that every one of the approx­imate ly 2,800 cop i e s produced disappeared in record time is some measure of ach ievement .

The second term s tar ted off i nnocuous l y enough w i t h the h a s s l e of producing a Careers Supplement . T h i s was only a moderate s u c c e s s in terms of adve r t i s i ng revenue but the feedback on the idea has been very encourag ing . T w o other notable things happened dur ing J a n u a r y .

F i r s t l y , after the U n i o n f i n a l l y saw sense and re l i e ved me of my dut ies as P u b l i c i t y Of f i cer , the sub jec t was r a i s e d at the f o l l ow ing C o u n c i l . T h i s provoked a subsequent d i s c u s s i o n where a l l and sundry eager ly expressed their d i sconten t w i th my hand l ing of the U n i o n p u b l i c i t y . But more importantly it highlighted certain prejudices and areas of total ignorance which 1 immediately became determined to overcome.

B y now my concrete s o c k s were showing s i gns of c r a c k i n g .Sooner or later I wou ld be able to ho ld my own in the d e e p e n d . It was bound to h a p p e n e ven tua l l y , but wou ld i t happen in t ime?

Second ly , the con t r o v e r s i a l top ic of the T h i r d S a b b a t i c a l was ominous l y r a i s e d . The I C U P r e s i d en t unders tandably tr ied to underplay the i d e a o f r e - a l l o ca t i ng the F E L I X S a b b a t i c a l by br i e f l y in t roduc ing the topic as a k i n d of post ­sc r ip t to the P r e s i d e n t ' s b u s i n e s s . Indeed h i s words at the time were : " . . . a n d C o u n c i l may have to take a d e c i s i o n on th i s ma t t e r . " (My emphas is in i t a l i c ) . T h e ef fect of that announcement was e l e c t r i c ;

(continued page 8)

8 FELIX

T H E E P I L O G U E (Continued from page 7)

suddenly a l l of C o u n c i l was b u z z i n g about it . When the time came for the d e c i s i o n to be t aken , the major i ty of the E x e c u t i v e were quite r i gh t l y undec ided : They had not sufficient informal ion upon which to base a decision .The. recommend­a t i on to re -a l l oca te the F E L I X s a b b a t i c a l to the as yet uncreated post of F i n a n c e / B u i l d i n g s Of f i cer was re jected in favour of a move to create a non - sabba t i ca l Jun ior T reasurer and a work ing party to inves t i ga t e , gather the facts and make recommendations on the work ings of the F E L I X o f f i c e a n d t h e c e n t r a l a d m i n i s t r a t i o n . U is gra t i f y ing to state now that the work ing party report w h i c h i s to be presented to J o i n t C o u n c i l next Monday has independent ly conf irmed p rac t i c a l l y every th ing that I s a i d and argued at the time when the top i c was f i rst broached.

The s i tua t i on w i th regard the F E L I X s a b b a t i c a l was po t en t i a l l y dangerous: a r e - a l l o ca t i on would have far-reaching £ d i sas t rous consequences in my v i e w . The complex arguments invo l ved made the whole th ing very vu lnerab le to m i s c o n c e p t i o n . A work ing party was e s s e n t i a l for a meaningful outcome. "Complexity breeds vulnerability" is an

ax iom w h i c h I c o i n e d las t summer. Whi ls t some w i l l a lways d i s b e l i e v i n g l y sneer at i t , I never the less fee! that it is app l i cab l e to a wide var i e ty of s i tua t i ons . How many of us were vulnerable to the misconceptions created on either side due to the complexity of the arguments used during the recent Referendum campaigns?

The second term saw the brunt of the N F v . The Le f t saga , much of w h i c h was approx imate ly t iresome . P e r s o n a l l y I was unable to endorse the at t i tude of e i ther s i d e , my main concern at the time be ing in terms of what the overseas students at IC felt about the s i t u a t i o n . Many of them seemed qui te unper turbed . I found the N F ' s rac i s t att i tude unpleasant and the L e f t ' s t a c t i c s s i l l y . I shou ld have thought that the Le f t would have r ea l i s ed by now that to try and muzz l e another group's v i ew w i l l only increase that group's morale w h i c h is the l as t th ing that the Le f t w a n t . B e s i d e s the concept of " f r e edom of s p e e c h " is a s ens i t i v e one to toy w i t h . John Stuart M i l l , a 19th Century ph i l osopher , once wrote: "We can never be sure that the opinion we are endeavour­ing to stifle is a false opinion; and if we were sure, stifling it would be an evil still..." A n d more r ecent l y , a comput ing P G s a i d : "The Left say 'We must stamp out Fascism'. But that's about as fascist

as you can get!" March saw the f i r s t F E L I X A n n u a l

Motor R a l l y . The three C C U ' s f i e lded a to ta l of seven teams (poor show R C S ! ) . Apar t from d i s rup t ing a s e r v i c e a t St P a u l ' s and brush ing w i th the P o l i c e at Tra fa lgar Square, a l l went f a i r l y smooth ly . I ron ica l l y enough, i f l ooks c ou ld k i l l then the eventua l winners of the R a l l y Pot would have been r espons ib l e for my demise seve ra l times over !

Nex t came the E a s t e r v a c a t i o n . The NUS Student Jou rna l i s t conference was in te res t ing and propounded ce r ta in ideas about the N a t i o n a l P r e s s s a y i n g that many na t i ona l newspapers de l i b e ra t e l y gave student a c t i v i s t s d i s to r t ed coverage jus t because they tended to be l e f t -w ing . Lies, I thought, sheer fabrication. T h e n came a long the NUS N a t i o n a l Con fe rence at L l andudno where I compared what I had seen and heard w i th what the N a t i o n a l P r e s s had to say the f o l l ow ing day. Need l e s s to say , my at t i tude to those par t i cu la r reports went someth ing l i k e : "Lies. All lies." C l e a r l y my hi therto moderate c r eden t i a l s were s l i gh t l y

nudged to the l e f t . The vac a l s o saw the second V a c a t i o n

F E L I X produced under my E d i t o r s h i p (the f i r s t was F E L L X N o . 361 , a twelve-page i ssue produced dur ing the summer l a s t year ) . The feedback I have r ece i v ed has formed the bas i s for the b e l i e f that the concept of V a c a t i o n F E L I C E S presents a very r e a l opportunity for the Un i on to invo lve i ts postgraduate membersh ip . The status of the P G not on ly a c a d e m i c a l l y but w i t h i n the framework of the U n i o n a l s o is current ly a s e n s i t i v e i s s u e . Who indeed can best represent the interests of PG's ? The IC PGG or ICU? The sooner th is ques t ion i s faced up to and r e so l v ed , the better .

The third and f i na l term menac ing ly poked i ts c ran ium over the gloomy hor i zon br ing ing w i th it the r e a l i s a t i o n that most of the F E L I X Staff wou ld be zapped to smithereans by impending e x a m s . I imagined myse l f at tempt ing to write the whole newspaper myse l f and do ing the c o l l a t i n g on Thursday night a l l on my todd . (gob, s o b ) . That left me f ee l ing semi-uncomfortab le- I t was something that I had an t i c i pa t ed las t term and so I came up w i th the idea of produc ing two four-page i s sues per week . E a c h ed i t i on would require jus t f o ld ing w i th no c o l l a t i n g . The p rac t i c a l s ide of this innova t i on worked f ine, but my en thus iasm for the s i z e (four pages as opposed to the u s u a l twe lve ) left me s l i g h t l y j a d e d . The last straw came when someone told me that there just was no longer enough in the Friday FELIX to get them through their first morning lecture. My dut i fu l c o n s c i e n c e cou ld take no more, so week l y e ight-page i s sues returned to f i na l l y e c l i p s e the s e s s i o n . Nev e r the l e s s , the point has been now unquest ionab ly proven that two F E L I C E S per week can be done . It w i l l be up to future Sabba t i c a l ed i tors to dec ide whether such an idea be further e xp l o i t ed .

The resu l t of my f i n a l project is what you are l ook ing at now: a mul t i co lour F E L I X . I expec t th is idea to become an annual e ven t . The very r ea l problem however wi th co lour work is that it takes much longer to dry (as opposed to us ing b l a ck ink) thus paste-ups have to be produced w e l l in a d v a n c e . A s far as I 'm concerned , the nove l ty of mu l t i co l our work was just gasp ing to be tr ied out, so there.

I would l i ke br ie f ly to turn my a t tent ion to one or two aspec ts of the U n i o n . I have been s e r i ous l y concerned that too many good p o l i t i c a l ideas have been thrown out of Un ion meetings s imp l y because the proposers of these ideas have had neg l i g i b l e grounding in t h e a r t of communicat ing complex arguments to a s c e p t i c a l aud i ence . The concept of presentat ion comes up once a g a i n . F e w people recognise its p o t e n t i a l .

In one respect NUS is d ivorced from the grass root s tudents : many of the s p e e c h e s made at the L l a n d u d n o conference were thea t r i ca l performances of preach ing to the converted w h i c h would have been laughed out of the Great H a l l here at I C . P o l i t i c a l awareness has a very low coe f f i c i en t w i th in th is U n i o n , but to make anyheadway the powers that be must c r a w l before they can w a l k . This is a point which I believe the current leadership has missed. (Over to you , Mr Teague ) . T h i s now ra i s e s the subject of perspect i ve s ince we are cons tan t l y be ing exhorted to cons ide r the wider spec i e s of th is a lmost me taphys i ca l a n i m a l . I th ink it is true to say that to mainta in a narrow perspect ive on a con t r ove r s i a l i ssue be it abor t i on , c a p i t a l punishment , women's l i b , the educa t i on cuts whatever , is to be a react ionary of the f i rs t order. Thus the progress ive trend is to try" and grasp the wider pe r spec t i v e . But cons ide r a l s o that wider a perspec t i ve becomes (eg l ook ing at a na t i ona l con f l i c t in the context of the current in ternat iona l s i tua t i on ) , the

more d i f f i c u l t , in g ene ra l , it becomes to v i s u a l i s e (and hence the more d i f f i cu l t for someone to conv ince others of i ts v a l i d i t y ) ; and once that happens, one 's p o l i t i c a l educa t i on becomes suscep t i b l e to unscrupulour d i s t o r t i o n . It i s the " o o m p l e x i t y breeds v u l n e r a b i l i t y " argument a l l over a g a i n . B u t I do not w i s h to d w e l l on this for too much longer .

It is often s a i d that "facts speak for themselves". T o that k ind of na ive ty I would add "occasionally". F a c t s c an e a s i l y be lost by a mumbl ing speaker and exaggerated by an e loquent orator (after, shrewd s e l e c t i o n , na tura l l y ) . The recent Referendum campaigns have clearly shown us that distortion, whether by exaggeration, omission or skilfull appropriation of emphasis is part of politicans' lives and anyone aspiring to such status would be hypocrite to deny this. Y e s , it wou ld be true to say that I am a p e s s i m i s t i c c y n i c . I t r e f l e c t s t h e e x t e n t o f my d i s i l l u s i o n m e n t .

T h i s Epilogue w c u l d not be complete wi thout a few words about the I C U P r e s ­ident . Trevor P h i l l i p s has been a formidable adversary th is year, often prov ing h imse l f the master of procedure and debat ing strategy . He has o c c a s i o n a l l y p u b l i c l y appeared to be very c o o l w h i l s t private reports have ind i ca ted that h i s anger over a par t i cu la r i s s u e ra i s ed by F E L I X has been i n t e n s e . He has worked extremely hard , c o n s i s t e n t l y and determin­ed ly ; h is near- in f in i te c apac i t y for be ing shrewd has he ld h im in good s tead in h i s negot ia t ions at C o l l e g e l e v e l .

Trevor was concerned at the beg inn ing of the s e s s i o n that any k ind of defence or favourable connec t i on w i th F E L I X might be construed by h i s " o p p o n e n t s " as ref­l e c t i ng our then c l o s e f r i endsh ip — s u c h was h i s a n t i c i p a t i o n of p o s s i b l e f r i c t i on w i th in the E x e c u t i v e . Happily, such a situation was peremptorily precluded fol­lowing certain personal events which appear unlikely ever to be resolved fully.

Trevor has not had an easy year. A f ter much vehement le t ter -wr i t ing to F E L I X in past years on the "Crisis of leaders hip" wi th in the U n i o n , he took of f ice hav ing stormed home in the e l e c t i ons wi th a mass i ve 919 vo tes , only to f ind the UGMs as bad ly attended as before, rare ly (if ever ) broach ing the 200 mark; NUS Demo cont ingents never exceeded 70 . H i s broadly-based ' a c t i v e ' support had sudd ­en ly become ' p a s s i v e ' , a lmost t ac i t : an embarassing situation to be in.

I s h a l l a lways remember Trevor P h i l ­l ips for h i s ambiva l ence (a ves t i ge of things to come?) Whi l s t on the one hand he has been a major insp i ra t i on as re­gards my own persona l p o l i t i c a l educa t i on and the persuance of thoroughness and d ip l omacy , he neve r the l ess , from my point of v i ew , c a s t an uncomfortable shadow on F E L I X . I w a s extremely unhappy w i th the att i tude wh i ch he adopted over the quest ­ion of F E L I X ' s s a b b a t i c a l . I can now revea l that I have read the con f i den t i a l d i s c u s s i o n paper wh i ch Trevor presented to the E x e c u t i v e prior to the C o u n c i l mee­t ing when the d e c i s i o n regarding the F E L I X s a b b a t i c a l was t a k e n . Some of the a s s e r t i ons wh i ch he made left me in a state of supreme and tota l anger . Never before had I been forced to ques t i on h is in t eg r i t y . I hope that I s h a l l never have to do so a g a i n . I am s t i l l cur ious as to why Trevor awarded me a U G A , because he and I have often begged to dif fer on i r r e conc i l ab l e grounds, sometimes in the most vehement terms. Thus my i n i t i a l r eac t i on to r e c e i v i n g this s l a p on the back was to re ject i t . B u t s u c h a ges ture , e v en a re fusa l to wear the t i e , would only have been cons ide red as i r ra t iona l t oken i sm. Suffice it is to say that I remain unhappy about the award and curious about the criteria which were used for awarding it.

(Continued on page 9)

F E L I X •

T H E E P I L O G U E (Continued from page 8)

F i n a l l y , a few m i s c e l l aneous comments . It has been for me a great p r i v i l edge to be the E d i t o r of F E L I X . I never the less l ook forward to p a s s i n g on th is burden . Dur ing the f i r s t term I got through 100 tab le ts of ' H e d e x ' . It was no joke when I f e l l a s ­leep one night t ry ing to so lve a lay-out prob lem: I woke up the f o l l ow ing morning still t h ink ing about i t . The worst part of the E d i t o r ' s job occurs when he has to f ind enough en thus iasm to wri te up a very t r i v i a l s t o ry . T h i s year has been in t ens ­e l y in te res t ing and extremely c h a l l e n g i n g , but I cannot , i n the true sense of the word , s a y that I have enjoyed th i s yea r . Indeed, a sabbatical year is not there to been-joyed; it is a year of hard work and rightly so.

I am not a male c h a u v i n i s t p i g : I jus t cannot s tand those i n s i p i d females who be l i e v e that they are God ' s gift to I C ; they do no good to the cause of women's equa l i t y wha t soeve r . One b i g regret that I have had over the past year has been my d i s m a l and unforg ivable fa i lure to recog­n i s e the po ten t ia l of sports a r t i c l e s as p o s s i b l e front-page l e a d s . I b e l i e v e that F E L I X i s in a good p o s i t i o n to encourage specta tor at tendances at important m a t c h e s . Unfor tunate ly , I have on ly jus t come to that c o n c l u s i o n ; there is s t i l l next year though.

A f te r near ly 4000 words , I th ink I had better s t o p . Take care and remember:

Keep The Cat Free!

M i c h a e l W i l l i a m s

FALL Richard Waring - Paul Ekpenyong

A R E S I D E N T of Garden H a l l i s grave ly i l l i n h o s p i t a l today f o l l ow ing a 60ft f a l l form h i s window on Tuesday n ight .

B r i a n Me t ca l f was s tand ing on h i s ba l cony as a f r iend went to the door . When the fr iend returned he had f a l l e n . When he was reached he was conc i ous w i th h i s head r e s t ing on some p l a s t i c gutter ing w h i c h he had brought down wi th h i m .

A n ambulance was immediate ly c a l l e d . F i v e minutes later three fire engines turned up . The ambulance appeared about ten minutes after t h i s . It took a further ha l f an hour to remove h im so as not to exacerbate h i s in jur i es i n any w a y .

The po l i c e were a l s o at the scene and it was they who measured the height of h i s f a l l , as w e l l as b r ing ing down some p l a s t i c gut ter ing he i s be l i e v ed to have s t ruck some w i r e ne t t ing .

On a r r i v a l a t S t . Mary ' s H o s p i t a l Padd ing ton B r i a n was p l a ced in the in tens i ve care unit where h i s c ond i t i on was s a i d to be c r i t i c a l . H i s in jur ies inc lude a d i s l o c a t e d p e l v i s , a broken th i gh , s e v e r a l broken r i b s , a c o l l a p s e d l u n g , and in t e rna l b l e ed ing . The la tes t b u l l e t i n i nd i ca t e s the l o ca t i on of the in terna l b l e ed ing has not been found and i s s t i l l s e r i o u s l y i l l .

B r i a n is a f i r s t year P h y s i c i s t and had a l ready comple ted h i s e x a m s . He had b e e n u n d e r t o t a l a n a e s t h e t i c at the dent i s t on Monday and had drunk four p ints on Tuesday e v e n i n g . It is thought that th is r esu l t ed in a d i z z y s p e l l or temporary b lackout w h i c h caused h im to f a l l .

PREC3 P3CE Trevor Ph i l l i ps

T H E F E L I X E d i t o r i a l of 30th May, w h i l s t ques t i on ing my "quasi-martyrdom" in not award ing mysel f a Un ion Genera l Award on somewhat spur ious grounds, does however ra i se the ques t i on of whether our ways of r ecogn i s ing par t i cu lar s e r v i c e to, cont r ibut ions to the a c t i v i t i e s of the Un i on are adequate . Had the E d i t o r of F E L I X de igned to attend the A G M at wh i ch I awarded him a U G A he might have had more cons t ruc t i v e comments to make. (Some of us have to work almost single handedly on a Thursday in order to produce a Friday FELIX - Ed.)

1 would contend that the award s y s t e m , for ICU c e r t a i n l y , and poss i b l y the C C U ' s , is inadequate. There is no accepted po l i c y on the award of ICU S o c i a l C o l o u r s or U G A s , except the C o u n c i l minute that lays down the compos i t i on of the Co l ou r s Commit tee , and says that C o u n c i l may award s o c i a l co l ours after the S o c i a l Co l ou r s Commit tee has made its l i s t of recommendat ions. The manner in wh i ch s e l e c t i o n is made is governed by convent ion on ly ; and those convent ions have changed wi th v i r t u a l l y every year .

Fo r ins tance in the case of S o c i a l C o l o u r s , th i s year we conducted a secre t ba l l o t amongst the members of the Commit tee , after hav ing had an explanat ion of the merits of each person nominated . T h i s ensured that the l i s t was much more s e l e c t i v e than hitherto, and , I would argue, more meaningfu l . There was a larger number of nominat ions than last year .

In the case of U G A ' s , the convent ions have changed much more rap id l y , from a point where the Pres ident awarded them, after c onsu l t a t i on wi th the Hon Sec and D P , to the present s i tua t i on where the P res iden t has abso lu te d i s c r e t i o n and g ives awards to whom he l i k e s , and for what reasons he a lone sees f i t . U G A ' s are e f f ec t i ve l y a P r e s i d en t ' s A w a r d . There is no ques t i on of h is " a c c e p t i n g " or " r e j e c t i n g " one, a s impl ied by F E L I X . It has t ieen argued that he shou ld r ece i ve one ex -o f f i c i o , to save him the embarrass ­ment of award ing h imse l f one. T h i s Is a b s u r d . How can anyone rece ive an award , presumably for outstanding s e r v i c e in h i s o f f i ce , s i m p l y by v i r tue of hav ing he ld that o f f ice? B y de f in i t i on most Pres idents , s a y * wi II be mediocre , not outs tand ing .

Worse yet , can one award onese l f " t h e supreme a c c o l a d e " ? Of course not; th is would be behaviour reminiscent of the most pompous and sel f - important t inpot banana-state ru l e r s . It is behaviour that

I would not w i s h to emula te . However , the worst aspec t of it a l l is

that U G A s are awarded on the d e c i s i o n one person on l y , and the one person w i t h probably the most b iased op in ions on the U n i o n ' s p r i o r i t i e s . In my case I gave U G A ' s to people who rea l l y cou ld not be den ied them by any r eckon ing . They were a l s o personal tr ibutes to people for whose work I have a great dea l of admi ra t i on , in di f ferent w a y s .

However is it accep tab l e that the U n i o n ' s premier award shou ld be made in s u c h a way? . I th ink not . E v e n the C o l l e t p on ly award F e l l o w s h i p s through the Govern ing Body — on recommendation of the F e l l o w s h i p s Commi t t ee .

The ques t i on must be a sked as to why I d id not end the sys t em myse l f . The answer is s imp ly that the reorgan isa t ion of awards has not been my major pr ior i ty th is year ; whether we g ive U G A s or not is u n l i k e l y to change the pr ice of c h e e s e . However , I do think that changes shou ld be made. P e r s o n a l l y , I wou ld prefer to see C o u n c i l or U G M s award ing Honorary L i f e Membersh ip , and I am tak ing s teps to introduce t h i s .

F i n a l l y , it must not be assumed that I oppose awards in p r i n c i p l e . I do not. I do be l i e ve that people dese r v ing of them shou ld have the s a t i s f a c t i o n of knowing that the w ides t poss ib l e c r o s s - s e c t i o n of Un ion members recognised the va lue of the ir c on t r i bu t i on . F o r me, at l eas t , that is the p leasure to be gained out of any kind of award . I be l i eve that the people ga in ing U G A ' s and S o c i a l Co l ou r s th is year c an rest a s sured that they do have that r ecogn i t i on , and s teps w i l l be taken to formal ise that s i t u a t i o n .

*

WITH R E G A R D to awards , can anyone th ink of a s o c i a l l y accep tab l e subs t i tu te for a t i e , for women to wear/use?

*

I A P O L O G I S E if h a c k l e s were ra i s ed at IF by my letter to F E L I X last week . C r i t i c i s m was not d i r ec ted at the Inst i tute genera l ly nor par t i cu la r l y at the author of "IF Only" but at a par t i cu la r l y f a l l a c i o u s v i ew held by many people , about s tudent a c t i v i s t s . It Is a v iew that must be nai l ed . It may not have been d i rec ted at me pe rsona l l y . However , un l e ss students can v iew their l eaders/servants w i th c o n ­f i dence , not c y n i c i s m , the potent ia l of the potent ia l of student un ions , and indeed, the movement i tse l f is immensely reduced .

© 1975

Newspaper of IC Un i on E d i t o r : M i c h a e l . I .L . W i l l i ams

P u b l i s h e d by the E d i t o r on beha l f of the Imper ia l C o l l e g e U n i o n P u b l i c a t i o n s B o a r d . P r in t ed o f fse t - l i tho on the U n i o n premises

Thanks to G i l l , I an , P a u l , R i z , R i c h a r d and Roger F E L I X O f f i c e , IC U n i o n , P r i n c e Consor t R d , SW7 2 B B

Te l ephone : 01-5895111 E x L 2 1 6 6 / 2 1 5 4 (Int. 2881)

F E U X

S T O I C R E T R O S P E C T ON T H E Y E A R ' S ACTIVITIES OF T H E STUDENT TELEVISION OF THE IMPERIAL C O L L E G E .

Col in Grimshaw

S T O I C H A S been operat ing a l o c a l T V s e r v i c e f a the students of Imperia l C o l l e g e s i n c e March 1 9 7 0 .

In November 1974 , the fortnight ly news programme Topic wh i ch had been running for three years w a s rep laced by the new w e e k l y news-magaz ine programme Lunch Break. A l s o , on the 4th of that month, S T O I C was featured on B B C R a d i o London ' s programme 'Break Through'. T h e interv iew las ted ten minutes and featured M a r k . C a l d w e l l , t a l k i n g about the running of the s o c i e t y , and C o l i n Gr imshaw, w h o commented on the t e c h n i c a l s i d e . The Interview was run by A n d y F i n n e y , a n ex- IC student and one-time S T O I C Cha i rman .

Dur ing March S T O I C made i ts f i r s t Outs ide B roadcas t from the Great H a l l ; the event was the H u s t i n g s , covered In sound on ly . The next week th i s was fo l lowed up by f u l l sound and v i s i o n coverage of the E l e c t i o n r e s u l t s . The response was e x c e l l en t and we hope to do the same aga in next year .

A l o n g s i d e the news programme, S T O I C has provided l ight e n t e r t a i n m e n t , d i s c u s s i o n and interv iew programmes. It Is the interv iews of recent months that v i ewers may remember. Thes e started in December 1974 when Lord George-Brown

v i s i t e d the C o l l e g e to g i ve a Gene ra l S tud i es l e c t u r e . T h e interv iew w h i c h took p lace a f ter the lecture has made a very in te res t ing and we lcome add i t i on to S T O I C ' S a r c h i v e s .

Be fore we s a y more about other gues ts to S T O I C , we must mention the unique s i t u a t i o n in w h i c h we now f ind o u r s e l v e s . We mean of course the regular spot w h i c h we now have on the C h a n n e l 7 network. T h i s E d u c a t i o n a l C a b l e T e l e v i s i o n s y s t e m , which broadcasts over most of L o n d o n , is run by the Inner London E d u c a t i o n a I Au thor i t y and c a n be r e c e i v ed by 93 i n s t i t u t i o n s , not count ing I L E A s c h o o l s . S T O I C i s the f i rs t s tudent t e l e v i s i o n s e r v i c e to be g i ven a c c e s s to the C h a n n e l . The interv iews shown s o far have been w i th Lo rd George -Brown, P ro f essor L a i t h w a i t e , P ro fessor Swanson and Mel B r o o k s .

Readers of F E L I X w i l l know that the Met ( B l a z i n g Sadd les ) Brooks interv iew took p lace dur ing the E a s t e r v a c a t i o n , when S T O I C managed to s c o o p B B C T e l e v i s i o n and R a d i o . We must thank F O X - R A N K f i lms for being s o he lp fu l w i th the ear ly arrangements for the programme.

A t the end of A p r i l we interv iewed the D i r e c t o r , and sc r ip twr i t e r of the F O X -

R a n k f i l m , 'Paper Tiger'! T h i s programme inc luded f i lm c l i p s , as d i d the one w i t h Me l B r o o k s .

Our most recent venture is w i th EMI f i lms and Barry Humphr i es , of 'Aunt Edna' fame . H i s new f i lm 'Barry McKenzle Hold His Own' is due for re l ease s o o n . T h i s is the f i rst time that we have had a guest in drag , in the s t u d i o ; the Interview w i l l be broadcast over the I L E A T e l e v i s i o n Network dur ing October .

Interest in S T O I C is not o n l y growing w i t h i n the C o l l e g e , ' the B B C are a l s o interested in the interv iews that we are a r r a n g i n g . L B C (London B r o a d c a s t i n g ) a r e a l s o t ak ing the opportunity to come to ce r t a in record ings and interv iew our

gues t s .

We fee l th i s past year has been our most s u c c e s s f u l and we look forward to the 1975-1976 s e s s i o n when we hope to rece ive further support from students at Imperial C o l l e g e .

B O G S P O T

Descartes: 'To be is to do' Sartre: ' To do is to be' . Sinatra: 'Do-be do-be do' .

FLATSHARE Looking for a place in a flat ?

Got any spare places ?

C O N T A C T

IC F L A T S H A R E If you are interested, come to the meeting tonight at 6 pm in the ICWA lounge.

FEL IX

N U S Travel IF Y O U are t h i n k i n g of tak ing a ho l iday abroad th is summer

remember that the NUS T r a v e l o f f ice in the Students Un ion is now open Monday to F r i d a y from 1.30 am — 3 3 0 pm.

Drop in and see Ca t r i ona — she c a n supp ly you w i th fu l l information about NUS T r a v e l ' s ex t ens i v e low-cost f l i ght , t ra in and s h i p p i n g programme. More than 112 des t ina t i ons in over / 3 0 European coun t r i e s are s i n g l e . Y oung people of a l l co v e r ed . A f l ight from London - ages are a l s o e l i g i b l e for many Amsterdam c o s t s only £12.95 of the i n c l u s i v e ho l i days s i ng l e and London-Mi l an is offered by NUS T r a v e l . D e s t i n -just £20.95 s i n g l e . A n d when a t ions inc lude Majorca , e l s e w i l l you be a b l e to f ly to To r r emo l inos , the Greek Tang ie r for only £59.70 return? I s lands , P a r i s and R u s s i a — The lowest s chedu l ed fare is there 's someth ing to su i t most £130 — a s a v i n g of more than pocke t s . 50%. A par t i cu lar bargain th is

Remember NUS T r a v e l is summer is C l u b E ldo rado , not just for s tuden t s . Under M a j o r c a . Accommodat i on is in 21 ' s t eachers , l e c ture rs , we l l -des igned cha lets separated inc lud ing husbands and w i v e s by beaut i fu l gardens and of e l i g i b l e people , can a l l take pathways w h i c h w ind towards advantage of the inexpens i ve the centra l rece ipt ion a r e a , ra i l t rave l w h i c h l inks over 70 M e a l s , w h i c h take on near European c i t i e s . Sample fares banquet ing proport ions, are this summer inc lude London - accompan ied by v i r t u a l l y as B r u s s e l s for £6.10 s ing l e and much w ine as you can d r i n k . London-Mi lan for £17.95 s ing l e For the energet ic there 's a fu l l and London -Pa r i s for £7 5 0 range of a c t i v i t i e s to choose

Rugby Review IC H A V E had on ly a moderately s u c c e s s f u l s eason th is y e a r .

The l s t X V won more games than they l o s t , but on ly j u s t , and the best way to sum up the year wou ld be " i n c o n s i s t e n t " . The team frequent ly showed promise , but suffered far too often from c a n c e l l a t i o n s w h i c h d i s rupted team c o n t i n u i t y . A s a r esu l t ,

from: t enn i s , horse - r id ing , c razy go ld , t ab l e - t enn i s , v o l l e y ­ba l l and s n o r k e l l i n g — many inc luded in the price . A ho l iday on th i s beaut i fu l B a l e a r i c Is land c o s t s from as l i t t l e as £85.00.

So why not c a l l in and find out more? P i c k u p a copy of the Student T r a v e l l e r or H o l i d a y s '75 and a l s o get your Inter­nat iona l Student Identity Card — i t ' s the s i m p l e s t way of proving e l i g i b i l i t y for NUS T r a v e l ' s t ransport . The B r i t i s h R a i l Ca rd is on s a l e too for £4JOO ( + V A T ) , and is v a l i d a l l through the vaca t i on right up unt i l September 30 th , s o it can s t i l l s ave you a lot of money .

CROSS-COUNTRY REVIEW THIS T I M E l as t year anyone who suggested that the C r o s s ­

c o u n t r y C l u b might p o s s i b l y do as w e l l as it has done th i s year , without a s suming a large in f lux of a th l e t i c F r e s h e r s , would have thought something of a merry-andrew, and yet

E a r l y on in the s eason it became apparant that we were beat ing the other L o n d o n c o l l e g e s fa i r l y e a s i l y , due in good part to the amaz ing Steve Webb trumpets) s e c o n d . The f i r s t r i s i n g l i ke a Phoen ix from the term was f i n i shed off by the ashes of four y ea r s ' un f i tness annual hand i cap , the decus e t to v ie for pos i t i on for some tutamen for wh ich were won by months w i th Ian E l l i s , and P a d D o n n e l l y : s i n ce it was later (by d int of innumerable a lmost c e r ta in that he wou ld 10-mile S u n d a y morning w i n the B a r R a c e , there were t ra in ing s e s s i o n s ) c o m i n g w i t h i n some who hoped he might make s ight of Rob A l l i n s o n h imse l f , a c l e a n sweep and w i n the 3-the main cause of this trouble mi l es as w e l l , but th is was not w i th w i n n i n g a l l these m e d a l s , to be ; R o b A l l i n s o n even tua l l y A further reason for th i s ran away w i th this t rophy , s u c c e s s was the absence of In the second term, that any v i s i t by Major Injury other regular , P a u l C l a r k e (though Gene ra l C h a o s made found fame by outspr in t ing seve ra l appearances ) : Ian J u l i a n Goater on the third l ap suffered some j i p (gypsum? no of the S t . Edmund H a l l R e l a y , ....) from a gammy knee , but the race in w h i c h the second was back to h i s u s u a l form i n set of medals was w o n . A time for the U L Champs where further three-teams-worth of the f i r s t tang ib le rewards for medals were ga ined in the a l l that hard t ra in ing were league, in w h i c h after f ive obta ined by the f i r s t team who races we f i n i shed a c l o s e f i n i shed ( smal l fanfare of second in D i v 1 and a s o l i d

I C P G G Annual Dinner

Tuesday , June 24th, 1975

7 for 7.30 pm

Union Upper Dining Hal l

Reception the Union S C R

(Disco in the Lower Refectory afterwards)

TICKETS FROM TOM ABRAHAM ELEC ENG 707 OR INT 3103

f i rst and second (out of 24) i n D i v 2 . A l s o i n th is term, the c l u b was amased to f i nd i t s e l f w i th no less than s even s u b -th i r ty -minute- f i ve-mi lers a l l in one race and later had s e ve ra l people a t t a ck ing the f ive minute barrier i n 3 mile r e l a y s .

E a r l y the Sunday morning after the end of term there was an 8 by 2 mile re lay at C r y s t a l P a l a c e at wh i ch we d id rather w e l l , f i n i s h i n g 12th out of 24 wi th a lmost the fu l l f i rs t team, the only let down be ing a puncture toSteve ' s foot obta ined on the ' prev ious Wednesday 's Mystery Tour to the B i g g e s t Dung Heap in A l l E n g l a n d .

. . . A n d f i n a l l y a tribute to the More Haste L e s s Speed Br igade - P a d , P e t e , B o b , Mike and Andy who have done s t e r l i n g work a l l s eason guarding those few ex t ra points from the t a i l end of races that have been needed to ach ieve these s u c c e s s e s ; and the exper i enced know that i t ' s much harder at the back .

teams l i ke R o s s l yn P a r k ' s and Saracens second teams beat us e a s i l y , a l though t e c h n i c a l l y we shou ld be a match for them. In an attempt to increase the standard of the c l u b , we w i l l be running an E x t r a s X V on Wednesday as w e l l as Saturday next s e a s o n . T h i s shou ld provide greater compet i t i on for l s t team p l a c e s , and provide E x t r a s w i t h a greater opportunity to deve l op a good team sp i r i t and ra i se their s tandard to that of a r e a l reserve X V .

The E x t r a s and the " A ' s " both had good s e a s o n s , each l o s ing on ly two gamas. However , both teams suf fered from l a ck of support due to the fact that many good Cons t i tuen t C o l l e g e p layers d id not turn out for IC on Saturday. N e v e r t h e l e s s , those that d i d p lay were e v en tua l l y moulded into a happy s ide both on and off the f i e l d , and it is only a pi ty that more people in a co l l e g e of some 4,000 students do not p lay rugby for IC on Saturday .

A l though th is s e a s o n has been far from sa t i s f ac to ry in many r e s p e c t s , I am conf ident that next s e a s o n c o u l d be a r ea l l y s u c c e s s f u l one for the whole c l u b , and , for the sake of the many ded ica ted people who put in a lot of work, both on and off the f i e l d . F o r the good of the c l u b , I hope I am proved r i ght .

CATAARGH/ I N T E R E S T E D in

working for FEL IX next year? If so, drop into the FEL IX Office and have a chat with the Editor or contact next year's Editor, Paul Ekpenyong, in Garden Hall Room 43.

Several positions are open and the work is hard but very interesting and rewarding'.

ACCOMMODATION T h e r e w i l l be 50 r ooms i n H a l l a v a i l a b l e for IC

s t u d e n t s l o o k i n g for a c c o m m o d a t i o n . T h e y a re on a n i g h t

to n i gh t b a s i s on S a t u r d a y to W e d n e s d a y (20 th — 2 4 t h

Sep t embe r ) n i g h t be fo re b e g i n n i n g of t e r m .

Y o u m u s t b r i n g a s l e e p i n g bag N O s h e e t s w i l l be

p r o v i d e d . A n IC 1 9 7 4 / 7 5 r e g i s t r a t i o n c a r d M U S T be

p r o d u c e d a n d y o u w i l l N O T be a l l o w e d a room i f y o u

have a p l a c e i n H a l l / H o u s e n e x t y e a r . D a v e S a l i s b u r y S t u d e n t R e s i d e n c e O f f i c e r

1 2 f t l l X

RUGBY TOUR C A S T Y O U R mind back to the f i n a l day of l a s t term when

twenty ex-rugby p layers j o ined the new e l i t e C o l l e g e s o c i e t y , M a f i a s o c . T h i s happy fami ly s e t off to B r u s s e l s for f i ve days of d r i n k i n g , honk ing , d r i n k i n g and chunder ing , w i th the odd game of rugby w h i c h had unfortunately been arranged before h a n d .

A r r i v a l at Ostende was unevent fu l except for three people be ing s i c k oppos i te the duty free bar and one person who s h a l l remain name less c l i m b i n g over the passpor t con t ro l barr ier s i n c e he d i d not want a nas ty b lue stamp on h i s brand new p a s s p o r t . A t l a s t our feet had h i t B e l g i a n s o i l a n d t h e r e w a s a n uncont ro l l ab l e urge to embrace a n d w e l c o m e t h e l o c a l peasant ry . Whereupon our hero ic name l e ss person rushed onto the B r u s s e l s t ra in and h i t the f i r s t person he c o u l d see for s i t t i n g i n our s e a t s . In no time at a l l we p i l e d out of the t ra in a t B r u s s e l s M i d i on ly to f ind we shou ld get off at B r u s s e l s N o r d . In the ensuing panic to reboard the train, D. Hart thought of a novel way of helping by collapsing in the doorway.

A r r i v i n g a t the correct s t a t i on at l a s t , ha l f the party managed to ob ta in tax i s to take them to what appeared a n o ld conver ted for t ress , Ho t e l L i t o . The other ha l f of the party d e c i d e d to wa lk a s the hote l was only around the corner

A t l a s t b l i s s f u l s l e ep decended and there was time to l ay b a c k and take a count of the d a y ' s p roceed ings . It was dec ided that Big Lipscombe was in the lead with 5 chund-ers and one unconfirmed.

The next day saw our her ioc band heav i l y defeated

on the f ie Id of combat by B r i t i s h B r u s s e l s R F C . The l eas t s a i d about th is game the better but ment ion shou ld be made of M. C o t t e r , known to h i s f r iend a s the H o g , and A . W i l l i ams for h i s f ine t r y . Sorrows were q u i c k l y drowned w i t h bott les of S t e l l a and the B e l g i a n populace sub jec t ed themselves to s tout render ings of N e l l i e H a w k i n s .

The e v en ing after match ce l eb ra t i ons were v i r t u a l l y e x c e s s i v e w i t h many people on ly jus t managing to stagger the f i f ty yards from cafe R o y a l to the h o t e l . A t 1.00 pm the ho t e l doors were l o cked and barred but S . C h u d y , suf fer ing from a f i t of c l a u s ­t rophob ia , left v i a the w indow and the a i d of a d ra inp ipe . Unfor tunate ly when twe lve feet from the ground on h i s return

entrance a s p e c i a l ang led s e c t i o n of the dra inpipe a l l owed Chudy to return q u i c k l y to ground l e v e l by coming away in h i s hands . The resulting dive into the concrete pavement was given nine out of ten marks for stupidity.

The next day , Sunday , was deemed a day of rest and by mid-day appe t i t i e s were running h i gh due to the fact that there was v i r t u a l l y no restaurant open by the h o t e l . A n u n s u s ­pec t ing tour member who ventured into the room of L i p s c o m b e was immediate ly to ld to get out and only return i f he was between two s l i c e s of b r ead . Soon strength was back to normal and meet ings were he ld in va r i ous ca fes in the B r u s s e l s centre to e l ec t a leader and boss of Ma f i a soc , Mr B i g .

The f i r s t candidate was U . G . L y b o o t h whose every command was to be obeyed e x p l i c i t l y . He was soon s a c k e d as Mr B i g for w a l k i n g more than one hundred yards to the next ca f e . L i p s combe (hen s tepped forward to accept the t i t l e of B i g and w i t h the a i d of a chron i c attempt at a n I ta l i an accen t deput i sed M . Sergot as h i s L u i g i . T o c r i e s of "Wheresa ma sphaghetti" the cafe c r a w l commenced w i th the rule that when B i g d r inks everybody d r i n k s . Cement boots were prepared forpeople f a i l i n g to obey L u i g i or B i g and S . B o o t h , known to h i s v i c t i m s as S s s s s T . was g i ven the job of contract m a n .

Monday fo l l owed Sunday , as e xpec t ed , anda f t e r the even ings standard refreshment s e ve ra l people pa id a v i s i t to the hote l they s tayed in l a s t year . They were s o hear t i l y we lcomed that the owner gave them a few p i l l ows and some other var ious items su i tab l e for p l a c i n g under a c oa t . Meanwhi l e B i g a n d L u i g i together w i th Je f f s , Sutton and Wrig ley who formed L e Grand C i n g had returned after the ho t e l was l o cked and dec ided to s tay in more spac i ous accommodat ion in the form of a part ly bu i l t of f ice b l o c k . B e d d i n g was sparse and L i p s c o m b e e x e r c i s e d h i s author i ty as B i g and s l ep t in a cardboard box they had found.

C R I C K E T A N N U A L R E V I E W

TH IS Y E A R the C a p t a i n c y of the C r i c k e t C l u b has been s p l i t to some degree in that the Sunday XI has been capta ined by Graham Webb ahd Tom G h o s h ; the o f f i c i a l C a p t a i n being Andrew H a l l

Fo r the 1s t XI the s e a s o n s o far, has been moderately s u c ­

c e s s f u l w i th a record of 3 w i n s , 1 draw, 3 los t and 5 matches c a n c e l l e d due. to r a i n . The exams have , as u s u a l , taken their t o l l of p layers and the i m p o s s i b i l i t y of s e l e c t i n g a regular f i r s t team has been rather f rus t ra t ing .

The s eason began w i th two e x c e l l en t w i n s . In the f i r s t , H e s t o n were d i s m i s s e d for on ly 40 ( G . Webb 6-6) and IC made the runs for the loss of two w i c k e t s .

A f t e r a poor b a t t i n g performance aga ins t South Stanmore when IC were a l l out for 88 (A. G h o s h 31) , the match was won by IC in an e x c i t i n g f i n i s h in wh i ch S . Stanmore were d i s m i s s e d for 84 (A . H a l l 4-12) on ly 4 runs shor t !

A t S t . J o h n s , Cambr idge on May 3rd the 1 s f s were w e l l beaten; S t . Johns rather l abo r i ous l y c omp i l ed 175-5 then hav ing g i ven IC just over 2 hours to make the runs bowled us out for 8 8 .

Next weekend (after a c a n c e l l e d mid-week f ixture) aga ins t Magda len Oxford it

A t l a s t the f i na l day of the tour a r r i ved and everybody se t off to B r u s s e l s U n i v e r s i t y to see IC thrash their oppos i t i on by over f i f ty po ints to n i l . The game was p layed at midday thereby a l l o w i n g the whole of the afternoon for s u p p i n g . A mammoth s i n g s o n g aga ins t our f r iendly B e l g i a n enter ta iners prov ided a f i t t ing c l i m a x , w e l l a lmost for G . C l e m e n t , for the tour.

Everybody enjoyed them­selves and I wish next years organiser every success and pity. Tour Party D. Shakesbeff (Leader) K . Libscombe (Mr Big) M.Sergot (Luigi) B-Bradley (L'Escargot) S.Booth (SssssT) S.Chudy (Blackie) R.Sutton (Ancient) P Jeffs (I in 5) CWrigley (Stop out) D. Hart (Helpful) J .Gilbert (Typical) B .Finney (Thieved) M.Cotter (Most probable) A Williams (Onega) G.Clements (Bed Monster) P. Rbbbins (Hailer) R Hughes (Early Evening) P.Shuttleworth (Mud Pack) K.Waiters (T.G.R. Davies) T .Fearn (Special Delivery)

was I C ' s turn to l abor ious ly c omp i l e 169-8 ( D . M i l l a r d 48 , M. Tay to r 44 , J . E n g l a n d 29) emulate S t . Johns but f a i l ed to emulate S t . Johns and lost by f i v e w i c k e t s .

The f i rs t league match aga ins t Whitton was c a n c e l l e d because of r a in , each s i d e t ak ing 5 ' po in t s .

The next Wednesday the f irst tra ve I led down to Haywards Heath to play M i d . Sussex C . C . where another poor batt ing performance left the oppos i t i on to make 88 : w h i c h they d id for the l oss of e ight w i c k e t s (A. Ha 11 5-30) after a concerted attempt at redemption of our bat t ing f a i lu re .

Our second league match was c a nee I led by the oppos i t i on Motspur Park because they wou ld not ra i se a team, s o IC took the maximum 15 p o i n t s .

A s e r i o u s l y dep le ted 1st XI met Hur l ingham Oddfe l l ows at Har l ing ton on May 28th where they made 184-3 after 5 c a t c h e s had been dropped by our recogn ised c r i c k e t e r s ! A generous dec la ra t i on by the oppos i t i on was not fu l l y exp lored when nearly a l l our batsmen appeared to be mesmer ised into donat ing their w i c k e t s . b y a r i d i c u l o u s l y ' e a s y ' s l ow bowler . However IC he ld on to draw the match f i n i s h i n g w i th 126-8 (A. H a l l 47 n.o.).

On Saturday 31st May, probably the best IC 1st X I this s e a s o n batted miserab ly on a fast w i cke t at C h u r c h i l l , Cambr idge and were a l l out for 88 (yet aga in ) . However an e x c e l l e n t bowl ing performance by the medium paced bowler kept C h u r c h i l l w i th in our meagre to ta l and were a l l out for 69 ( J . Basha r 5-20).

The s e a s o n s o far has been charac t e r i s ed by poor bat t ing , g i v ing w i c k e t s away and dropped c a t c h e s . The w i c k e t s have been lost by impat ience to sco re runs , e s p e c i a l l y to ostensibly gent le bowl ing and the ca t ches have been dropped due to lack of concent ra t i on . However there is s t i l l much of the s e a s o n , to come and of course the tour!