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 ThIs MONTh IN ION 18 Editor’sLetterHarmonica Michael’s magical mystery tour. 20 OftheMonthFleshy cats, Jack White’s new band, movies with Neil Young and games that take you to the School of Rock.22 IONthePrize 46 TalesofOrdinaryMadnessThat really hot girl you think you’re talking to on MSN is actually a man. Beware. 47 HoroscopesErnold Sane says the sun is making him nice but I don’t see it.48 ThePerryBibleFellowship

 ART23 SoundinsightA look at Nettwerk’s traveling art show. 24 ColsonWhiteheadHe’s the author of Apex Hides the Hurt and he’s filthy rich. Call him up and try to borrow money.

FAshION26 Ion’sPsychedelicTechnicolorFreak-OutPartyHave you ever looked at one of our fashion editorials… on acid?

 FILM34 LeonardCohen:I’mYourManI think Director Lian Lunson has a thing for this guy. 35 Awesome,IFuckingShotThatC’mon admit it. You still have a soft spot in your heart for the Beastie Boys.

 MUsIC36 TheBoyLeastLikelyToThey resent being called Twee Pop but why is it that they keep talking about Winnie the Pooh? Stephen Colbert would say, “I just nailed ya with that one.”38 YouthBrigadeYou don’t have to overdose in a hotel in your 20s to be a punk.40 ThePresets“Just imagine walking into a mining town, going into the local bar filled with hardcore miners and then start talking to them about sucking cock.” That’s the best quote that will ever appear in this magazine.42 PosterArt:AllanLordeThere’s a lot more to Winnipeg than cold winters and Burton Cummings.44 Reviews

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IONMAGAZINE.CA  15

Volume4Number5Issue30

Publisher VanessaLeighvanessa@ionmagazine.ca

EditorinChief MichaelManneditor@ionmagazine.caArts&CultureEditor JenniferSelkjen@ionmagazine.caFashionEditor VanessaLeighfashion@ionmagazine.caActingFilmEditor MichaelMannfilm@ionmagazine.caMusicEditor BryceDunnbryce@ionmagazine.caPhotoEditor FionaGardenphotos@ionmagazine.ca

Advertising KellyHassenkelly@ionmagazine.ca ClaudioRubboclaudio@ionmagazine.caAdvertisingAccountsManager NatashaNealenatasha@ionmagazine.caCopyEditors MarisaWoo,MahaAlFarraArtDepartment DannyFaziodanny@ionmagazine.ca JohnMorrisonjohn@ionmagazine.caWebsite AndrewBobicInterns ElimKwok,ElizabethWolber

ContributingWriters:AdamO.Thomas,CurtisWoloschuk,ElizabethWolber,EmilyKhong,ErnoldSane,FilmoreMescalitoHolmes,MarielleKho,PaulBorchert,SamKerr,TrevorRisk,TylerFedchukContributingPhotographers:JasonLang,MarkMaryonovich,TobyMarieBannister,SyxLangemann

IONisprinted10timesayearbytheIONPublishingGroup.NopartsofIONMagazinemaybereproducedinanyformbyanymeanswithoutpriorwrit-tenconsentfromthepublisher.IONwelcomessubmissionsbutacceptsnoresponsibilityforthereturnofunsolicitedmaterials.TheopinionsexpressedbywritersandartistsdonotnecessarilyreflectthoseofIONMagazine.Allcontent©CopyrightIONMagazine2006

HeyPRpeople,publicists,brandmanagersandlabelfriends,sendusstuff.High-resolutionjpegsareniftyandall,butit’snosubstitutefortherealthing.Clothing,liquor,videoiPods(60gigversiononly),CDs,vinyl,DVDs,videogames,andanXbox360canbesenttotheaddressbelow.We’reseriousabouttheXbox360.

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 EDITOR’s LETTER

Words MichaelMannPhotographyTobyMarieBannister

I made one tragic attempt at being musical andit ended with me throwing a Yamaha keyboardagainst a wall. I’d taken a week of piano lessonsand decided I was ready to perform Beethoven’s9thSymphony in frontof theschool.Overlyambi-tiousforsomeoneingrade2?Perhaps.Ionlyknewthefirst10notesbutIwasconfidenttherestwouldcometomewhileIwasupthere.YoubetterbelieveI nailed those 10 notes and I had that audienceeatingoutofmytinyhandsforalloffiveseconds.Sadly, therestdidn’tcometome,so I tookabowand satdown.Therewasanawkwardpause,andthenpityclaps.Ikindoflostinterestinpianoafterthatbecauseitwasobviousitwasn’tgoingtocometomenaturallyandI’mnotafanofhardwork.

Last week, while sifting through a bargain at afleamarketIcameacrossPlay The Harmonica in 1 Hour–theDVD.I’vehadanurgetotakeupaninstru-mentlatelyandtheharmonicainanhourseemedalotmorefeasiblethantheguitarin10easysteps.It’dbegreat. I could join the rich traditionofhar-monicavirtuososlikeJoseIturbi,HarmonicaFrank,LarryAdlerandthechubbyguyfromBluesTraveler.

SoIwenttopurchasemyinstrumentandlearned50 things about harmonicas I didn’t know in thethree minutes it took me to buy one. I went for abeginner’sharmonicawithareplaceablereedplatebecauseIfullyintendedonblowingthefuckoutofthisthing(nohomo).BeforeIcouldfigureouthowtogetthethingoutofthecaseIwasofferedmyfirstgig.Firedup,IquicklyregisteredHarmonicaMichael.com, just incase. I thensoakedmyharmonica in

whiskey,likeallthebluesgreatsdo,andIcueduptheDVD.

Amaninasmokybluesbariswailingawayontheharmonica.He’swearingsunglasses inadarknightclubsoyouknowthismanhassoul.Thehairsonmyneckjumpedonend...thatmanwouldsoonbeme.BobbyJoeHolmanintroduceshimselfandsays,“InthenextfewminutesI’mgoingtogiveyousome examples, basic information and a chanceto play the musical treasures and soulful expres-sionthataharmonicahastooffer.”Inwriting,that’swhatyoucallan“effectivelead”becauseitgotmehooked. Bobby Joe took me through the propertechnique for holding the harmonica, which I im-mediatelymastered.Thesecondpartwasentitled“YouaretheInstrument”andwaswhereBobbyJoedroppedthispearlofwisdomabouttheharmonica:“Yourfeelings,whatyouhaveinyourheartandyoursoul,canbeprojectedthroughthisinstrument.“In-spiringstuff.

Onto the next section and it’s time to play adittycalled“Shenandoah.”BobbyJoeplayedthosesevennotessowell,atearfelloutofthecornerofmyeye.Myturnnow.Letmethrowoutthefollowing

disclaimer:playingasinglenoteontheharmonicaisverydifficultas theholesare tinyandclose to-gether.Youwanttoblowinoneholetoplayacleannotebutthebeginner(me)willendupblowingintothree and it sounds like shit. Bobby Joe offers nopointersandcontinuesontothenextsection.Wait,Ididn’tgetthatfirstpart,you’regoingtoofast.BobbyJoedoesn’tlistenandkeepsplaying.Thistime,10notesinarow.Henailedthat.Myturnanditsoundsworse.BobbyJoesays,“greatwork”andcontinuesontothenextpartandplays15notesinarow.Thisguy isamazingbutahorrible teacher.At thenineminute50secondpointofPlay the Harmonica in 1 hour,Iquit.

Inconclusion,unlessyou’vebeennaturallygiftedwithamouththesizeofastraw-holeandaphoto-graphicmemory,it’simpossibletolearnhowtoplaythe harmonica in an hour. Sadly, harmonicas areFinal Sale because you put your mouth on them.Though, thekindwomanwhosold it tomesaid Icouldsenditbacktothemanufactureriftherewasaproblem.Throwingtheharmonicaagainstthewallinafitoffrustratedrageisn’tconsideredamalfunc-tionsoI’mstuckwiththestupidthing.

IONMAGAZINE.CA  19

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 OF THE MONTh

 

DVDsDazeD anD ConfuseD: Criterion eDitionBreakout thepaddle,packanotherbowlandturnuptheFoghat... it’sthelastdayofschool.Seniorsarehuntingfreshmenforsado-masochistictrialsofsubmission.Sexualtensionispilingupfasterthanemptybeercans, thepromiseof thegreatest kegpartyofall timeloomsin the imaginationsofslutanddweebalike.Dazed realizes thenightmareofli’lshitdisturbersacrossthecountry:yes,someoneotherthanyouinventedsuchsacredteenageritesas the traveling hot-box, the acid-induced anony-mousmake-out,andjeansrequiringtheassistanceof pliers. Ben Affleck brilliantly portrays (the onlytime those four words will occur in sequence) amorally bankrupt asshole, while Matthew McCo-naughey believes that the fountain of youth liesin thesoakingpantiesofhighschoolgirls.He fa-mouslypontificates:“I keepgettingolder,but theystaythesameage.”Thismovie,ontheotherhand,appreciateswithage-likescotch.Orjailbait.

 

neil young: Heart of golDJonathanDemme.HemadetheTalkingHeadscon-certmovieStop Making Sense over20yearsagoand it was the greatest concert movie ever. Afterthat,hiscareerkindofwenttoshit.Okay,hemadeamoviecalledSilence of the Lambswhichafewpeo-plesaw.Philadelphiatoo.Buttheyweren’tasgoodastheTalkingHeadsmovie.NeilYoung.Takealookatthisoldman’slifeandyou’llseehe’sbasicallyaGodamongmen.However,heshowedthatheis in fact mortal in 2005 and underwent surgery for abrainaneurysm.ThisneartragedygothimthinkingandhepennedPrairie Wind.ThesetwomastersoftheirrespectiveartformsmeetinNashville,Tennes-see,at theRymanAuditorium,homeof theGrandOleOprytomaketheconcertfilmNeil Young: Heart of Gold.Doesitneedtobesaidthatwhenyouputalegendinalegendaryvenueandhavealegendfilmthe whole thing you get a damn fine movie?Theonlythingthismovie’smissingisagiganticsuit.

 

PETMingKyNotquitesurewhat tomakeof this thing.Wegotsentadisclaimerthatthiscatlikesto“fuckpeopleup,”butwe’reassumingthatmeansonanemotion-allevelbecausewealwaysassumedthesethingsonly existed in nightmares (and the occasionalRobotmancomicstrip).Sendyourpicturestopet@ionmagazine.ca. If we use them you’ll receive aprizethatpalesincomparisontohavingyourani-malfriendimmortalizedinprint.

IONMAGAZINE.CA  21

 

TICkET GIVEAwAytHe futureHeaDs & tHe raConteurs Can you feel that in the air? It’s summer concerttime. Courtesy of House of Blues, we have ticketsforTheFutureheadsonJune15attheCommodoreBallroomandTheRaconteursonJuly26atMalkinBowl.FeistyBritrockersTheFutureheadsarerollingthrough town to promote their new album News and Tributes.These disciples of the Clash will nodoubt rock the casbah, while skipping to the endand singing in four part harmony with smiles ontheir faces. The Raconteurs are Jack White fromtheWhiteStripes,BrendanBensonandTheGreen-hornesrhythmsection.Thisone’soutdoorsatStan-leyParkand“everybodyknows”itcouldbetheshowofthesummer.Mostsideprojectsaremediocreatbest.Notthisone.Toentertowinticketsgotowww.ionmagazine.caandclickoncontests.Ifyoudon’twinyoucanpickupticketstothesefineshowsatRedcat,Scratch,ZuluorTicketmaster.ca.

 

GAMEguitar HeroWe’re late to hop on the Guitar Hero bandwagonand that’s okay. So you never thought there’d beaconsoleguitargame that’sbetter thanUmJam-mer Lammy (an offshoot of PaRappa the Rapper where you’re an insecure female lamb in a grrrlband)but youwerewrong.Thisgame isonepartDance Dance Revolutionandthreepartsamazing.Pickyourcharacter,grabyouraxe,becomeastar.Chancesareifyoucanplaythesongsatthehard-estlevel,you’reprobablyabetterguitaristthanthepeoplewhowrote them.Whilebeinggoodat thisgamewon’tgetyougroupie-sex,asequelisalreadyintheworks,sowhoknows.

 

CONTRIbUTORjoHn MorrisonJohn Morrison is one half of ION’s art directionsquad, and the graphic designer of this month’sPsychedelic Technicolor Freak-Out Party. Beyondthese facts, little is known for certain about thisdashingyoungmanofdanger,romance,andinter-national intrigue.Whereothers seekmerewealth,he searches for experience. From Angkor to theAmazon,ZürichtoZanzibar,heboldlyblazesforthintoactionandadventure,hisflowingblond locksandsensuousmustacheflashinginthesun.Swash-buckler.Poet.Lover.BaronofWallStreet.WhoistherealJohnMorrison?Andwhoisillusion?Theansweris shrouded in mystery. Oh, and ladies, he’sVERYsingleandverylooking.Emailjohn@ionmagazine.caforadate,today.Youwon’tbedisappointed.

22  IONMAGAZINE.CA

PhotographySyxLangemann

Thisprizethismonthisanassortmentofmen’steescourtesy of Original Penguin. This company hasbeen leading the‘iconic animal’ polo movementsincethe50s.BobHopeevenrockedtheirclothes.Sportingthisflightlesslittlefellamightletyoupass

forupperechelon,until thecountryclubfindsoutthatyougotitforfreeandthrowsyououtonyoursocialclimbingass.OriginalPenguinwon’tpromiseto improve your golf game, but its suburban chicaestheticmightgetyouadatewithagold-digger

andproveonceandforallthatpenguinsdoinfactmatemorethanonceayear.Entertowinatwww.ionmagazine.ca.

 

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IONMAGAZINE.CA  23

 

sOUND & VIsIONsOUNDINsIGhT: NETTwERk RECORDs ART shOw.WordsJenSelkPhotoFionaGarden

NettwerkRecordsisaprettyenigmaticmusiclabel.Back in the day, they seemed committed to off-the-beaten-trackartistslikeFront242,TheSeveredHeadsandSkinnyPuppy.Thesedays,they’vegoneundeniablymainstream,andarepushingstuff likeBarenakedLadiesandfaux-punkNapaneeprincess,Avril Lavigne. It’s weird, considering where theystarted.

Thelabelrecentlydidanotherunusual thing. Itdebutedanew,touringartexhibitentitled“Sound-insight:Aglimpseof20yearsofartinmusic.”TheshowopenedinVancouveronMay25thandwillbemovingontobothNashvilleandLosAngelesoverthecourseofthesummer,stoppingineachcityforamonthatatime.

ART

AccordingtoJamieAnderson,aleaddesignerforArtwerks(thearmofNettwerkthathandlesalbumvi-suals),“theinitialideatoholdthisshowcamefromwantingtoutilizetheSYNCforart&musicrelatedevents.” SYNC is a Nettwerk-owned space/shop inwhichtheyhouseartexhibits, liveshowcasesandreadings.“Aswestarteddiggingthroughmorethantwodecadesofartwork,theshowbegantoexpandandsuddenlywerealizedtherewouldn’tbeenoughroominthreegalleriestoholdalloftheimagingwehaveproduced.We’vepickedouttheessentialsaswellassomeexciting,rarefinds.”

“Whatyou’regoingtoseeintheshowisgoingtobeaverydiverserangeofartwork,spanningover20years,”shecontinues.“EverythingfromSkinnyPup-pyarchivalfilmstolong-forgottenalbumcoverstoaward-winningalbumcovers.Therewillbeavarietyofartprintsforsale,includingbrandnewconcep-tualposters.Allhavebeenruninlimitedquantitiesandwillbehand-numbered.Theexhibitisboundtosparkamemory,afeelingintheviewer.”

Anderson says that all of the art you’ll see intheSoundinsightexhibithasbeeninfluencedheav-ilyby themusicians themselves. It sounds likePR

BS,butAndersoninsists,“Nettwerkisallabouttheartist.”Shesays,“unlikemajorlabels,ourgoalistocreatealbumartthatreflectstheartists’visionandpersonality.”

“Sometimestheartistwillcomeinwithabunchofideasandwe’llworkcloselywiththemtoensurethat the final product reflects their vision. Othertimes we’ll start with a blank canvas, having onlytheirmusictoguideus.Asweareallquitepassion-ateaboutbothmusicandart,thereisalwaysaveryorganicflowtothisprocess.”

As for how the show will reflect the massivechangesNettwerkhasgonethroughovertheyears,particularly in terms of their catalogue, Andersonsays“Thearthaschangedasthemusichas.Thereisalwaysqualityineverythingweproduce.Whetherwe’reputtingoutelectronic,rootsorpopmusic,theartassociatedwithitisgoingtoreflectthatflavour.Theshowisdefinitelygoingtoexhibitthis.”

24  IONMAGAZINE.CA

 

bANDAGE MANCOLsON whITEhEADWordsJenSelk

While reading Colson Whitehead’slatest book, Apex Hides The Hurt, Icouldn’t seem to get one phraseout of my mind. That phrase was“Some folk’ll never lose a toe.Thenagain, some folk’ll.” You know, fromThe Simpsons. That’saboutasmuchof the plot of this somewhat bizarrenovelasI’mgoingtogiveaway.

You probably haven’t heard ofWhitehead.HereinCanada,he’snotparticularlywellknown.Butcrosstheborder and he’s a veritable literarydarling.Hispublisher’sPRpeoplede-scribed him to me as a“young, hip,amazing writer who is a MacArthur‘genius’awardwinnerandapast fi-nalistforthePulitzerPrize.”You’dthinkit would have been the Pulitzer partthatstruckme,butitwasn’t.ItwastheMacArthurpart.TheMacArthurpartisaboutmoney.Andmanohman,areyou going to be jealous when youhearhowmuch.

TheMacArthurFoundationwebsitedescribes it as “a private, indepen-dentgrantmakinginstitutiondedicat-edtohelpinggroupsandindividualsfosterlastingimprovementinthehu-mancondition.”Theso-calledgeniusawardwonbyWhitehead(otherwisedubbedaMacArthurFellowship)isahugedeal.It’sworth$500,000.Yeah.$500,000. US, as we Canadians al-waysneedtopointout.

Inan interview fromhishome inBrooklyn,NY,Whiteheadplayeddownthe big win, which he bagged backin 2002. When asked if he’d expe-rienced any professional jealousysince (you know, seeing as how it’sgottobeeasiertobeanovelistwhen

youdon’thavetoworryaboutmoney)hesaid,“Totellyouthetruth,I’mnota very perceptive person. Do peopletreat me differently? I dunno. I thinkmy friendsand familyareglad Igottheaward,andthat’swhatmatters. Ihavemetafewjerksinmytime,butjerksdon’tneedexcuses tobe jerks.It’sintheirnature.”

ItseemstobeinWhitehead’sna-ture towritewhatmaybeperceivedas weird books. John Henry Days, one of his previous works, is aboutajournalistwho’stryingtobreaktherecord for attending the most con-secutive publicity events. Another ofhisnovels,The Intuitionist,isaboutapsychicNYCelevatorinspector.Apex, his latest, is about a nomenclatureconsultant, adhesive bandages, andaterribletoepredicament,whichI’mstillnotcompletelysureIunderstoodthesignificanceof.Hiswritingiscon-cise,smartandfunny,butApex Hides the Hurtisn’texactlythesortofthingyou’d want to take to the beach. It’stoosatirical,andtoofarfromobvious.But Whitehead is worth getting into.Personally,whatsoldmeonhimwashisrepeatedmentionofandenthusi-asmfortheupcomingmovieSnakes on a Plane.(Hekeepsbringingitupon his website: www.colsonwhite-head.com)Whenaskedwhatthebigdeal is, he said this:“Like Vaseline,Q-tips and Xeroxes, the name is thethingitself.Whatisthemovieabout?Snakesonaplane.Quiteadmirable.Atthispoint,therehasbeensomuchcoverageof it that it is probably thefirst movie to jump the shark beforeit’sevenreleased,butthereyouhaveit!” Suddenly the whole novel-about-a-nomenclature-consultant thingmakesmoresense.

So what about the money?Alas,Whitehead is so logical about it, it’shardtostayjealous.“Itdoesn’tmakemybooksbetterorworse,”hesaid.“Istillhavetowritethem.”

ART

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FILM 

MR. COhEN, I’M yOUR FANDIRECTOR LIAN LUNsONWordsMichaelMannOriginal Artworkthedark

NoonehatesLeonardCohen. It’s justamatterofwhetheryoulikehimoryoulovehim.LianLunsonisstraightupenchantedbytheman.Somuchso,shemade a movie about it titled Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man.HavingcutherteethdoingmusicvideosandadocumentaryonWillyNelson,LunsontookatriptotheSydneyOperaHouseinJanuary2005tofilmaLeonardCohentributeshowontheadviceoftheshow’scurator,producer,HalWilner.TheshowfeaturedmusicianssuchasNickCave,RufusWain-wright,Antony,BethOrtonandJarvisCockercover-ingtheirfavoriteCohentracks.Tokeepitfrombeingastraightupconcertmovie, thefilmalso featurescandidinterviewswiththemanathishomeinLosAngeles. And because it’s okay to give away theendingofthismoviewithoutspoilingit,U2andCo-henwerefilmedataspaceinNewYorkandgiveapassionate,sternandovertlypoliticallectureabouthowwe’realluncaringjerks(Justkidding,theyper-form“TowerofSong” together).Here, LianLunsonexplainswhyLeonardCohenisherman.

What makes Leonard Cohen an engaging subject for a documentary?

Well,Ifeltthatthis,morethanadocumentary,wasauniquewayofpresentingLeonardCohentoalotofnewfans,andthefanshehasalready,becauseyouhadallthesereallyuniqueandincrediblytalentedperformersthattome,almostfeltlikeapatchworkquiltofhim.Theywereallpartsofhimpresentingthese songs as chapters in his life.That was theuniquenessofthefilm,ifIcouldtrytoincludehimwiththesesongsaschaptersinhislife.Ratherthanastraightforwarddocumentary.

Was it difficult combining concert movie with autobiography?

Itwasabitofachallengeinthebeginning,butonceLeonardandIhaddonetheinterviewsIreallylethisconversationdirect themovie.Obviously therearesongs that are more known than others and per-formancesthatweregreat.Icouldn’tincludeallof

themas therewere34songs in theconcert.Thatwashardandthatwasthebigchallenge.

You shot the interviews with Leonard Cohen by yourself?

Yes,and thatwasathishousewithmyowncam-era.ItookafriendwithmebutitwasjustmeandLeonard.ItwassoLeonardandIcouldjustrelaxanditwasn’twithacrewsoitwasn’tlikeaformalinter-viewatall.Itwasmorelikeaconversation

Was this something he immediately jumped at or did it take a lot of convincing?

Leonard doesn’t really jump on anything. It cameoutof theblue. Iwanted tomeethimand lethimfindoutaboutwhoIwasfirst,whichhedid.HehadseenmyWillyNelsonfilmalsoand I showedhimsomeoftheperformancethatIhadshotinSydneyalready. Itwas just anorganicevolvementofhowthatworked.WejustgottoknoweachotherfirstandthenIslowlystartedtobringmycameraover.

What’s it like sitting down and chatting with this man?

Every time you speak to Leonard you walk awaysomewhat changed.He’sanextraordinary, uniquehumanbeing.Soit’sfantastic.Thethingwiththeseinterviews is I didn’t want to do an in-depth [bio-pic]. Ididn’twanttomakethatsortoffilm.Ireallyjustsortofwantedtocapturetheessenceofwhohewasasaperson.There’ssomuchmoretohimthanIcouldevenputinafilmbutyoujustgetanessenceofwhohe is.He’s thisveryverycomplex,vastandtalentedindividual.Andagreatwritertoo.Oneofthegreatscribesofourtimes.

What does he think of the film?

He really likes it.He’sveryhappy. It’shard forhimbecausehe’sgotalotofpeoplebowingathisfeetand I think he’s a very humble person. He’s a bitoverwhelmedby that.He’sveryhappy formeandhe thinks I didabeautiful job...which is thebestcomplimentIcanget.

IONMAGAZINE.CA  35

FILM 

MCA, WhERE hAVE yOU bEEN?MAkING A MOVIEWordsAdamO.Thomas

Awesome I Fuckin’ Shot That, is labeledasanau-thorizedbootlegwhichAdamYauch(MCA)pointedout isanoxymoron.Thedocumentary isacollec-tionoffootageshotby50audiencememberswithhandheldcamerasatasold-outBeastieBoysshowatMadisonSquareGardensinOctoberof2004.Thefilmiscomprisedofallkindsofshakyhandheldvid-eocamerashotsfromthefloor,thenosebleedsandeven thebathroomsof theGardens.Undoubtedly,there’saseriousenergyintheroomastheBeastieBoysputonagoodshow.Sadly,thisisnotthethingto put on if you’re trying to fall asleep or comingdownfromapeyotetrip.Ormaybeitis.

Congratulations on the DVD. It’s a pretty inter-esting idea. Whose idea was it?

Iguess itwasmine. Igot it fromsomething IsawontheInternet.Thiskidhadshotpartofashowonhis cameraphone,and I got the idea from that. Ithoughtitwouldbekindofcoolseeingit,kindofinlowresolutionfromanaudience’sperspective.

One of the things I liked best about the movie are those moments where we follow people coming back into the show.

YeahI lovethatmomentwherethatguy’scomingback from thebathroomand youhear the soundkindofgrowingashe’scomingbackintotheroom.ImeanIthoughtthatthatwaskindofpartofit,thefilmwasreallyliketheaudience’sperspective,soitwaskindofcooltogoonthesedifferentexcursionsawayfromtheshow.

It must have been nice to do this project at Madison Square Gardens, on your home turf?

Youknow, itwasreallykindofa lastminute thingtoshootthemovieinNewYork.Theideaforthefilmhadbeenfloatingaroundfora littlewhileandwewere trying to thinkof the rightplace todo it.ButaswewerecomingupontheconcertIwaslike“it’salwaysaspecialthingwhenweplayathome,andmaybe this is theone todo itat,”andso Iasked

AdamandMikeandtheywereintoit,thenItalkedtoourproducertoseeifhecouldwrangleupthatmanycamerasinthatamountoftimeandhecould,sowekindofjustwentforit.Wepostedonourweb-siteandaskedotherpeopleiftheywantedtovolun-teer,andthenwejustdidit.Buttherewasreallyonlythreedaysofpre-productiononit.Thenonedayofproductionandthenlikeayearofpost-production.

Do you think that by handing the filming of the show out to the audience that it solidifies the relationship with the band?

Itjustkindofmadesense.There’sjustacertainfeel-ingthere,thatwhenit’sshotfromtheaudiencethatyou can feel the energy in the room. I think a lotofthatcangetsterilizedoutwhenyouhavereallyhighrescameraswithsweepingtrackingshots…Imeanitcanbecool,Idon’twanttoputthatdownbecausetherearecertainfilmswhereitworks,likeinPinkFloyd’sLive at Pompeiiorthingslikethat,thecameraissodeliberateanditworkssowell,butitjustseemedtomakesenseforthekindofmusicweareplayingand for this kindofa concert. Imeantheenergyintheroomiskindoffranticandsoyou

catch some of that with the feel of the handheldcamera.

So it was directed by your alter ego…

Yeah,Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout…

Is it possible for you to reveal where the three of you– Adam Yauch, MCA and Nathanial Horn-blower– sort of separate?,

Well you know, early on when we were doingthePaul’sBoutiquealbumItookthepictureforthecoverandlaidoutthealbumandIwasputtingthecreditsdown,butIthoughtitwouldbestupidtoputoneofthebandmembersnamesontheresoIjustputthatnameonitandhavekeptusingitforvisualandbandrelatedstuff.Ijuststartedusingitandit’sevolvedintoalargerthing.LikethisoldpersonfromSwitzerland.

Who I hear is a good God fearing man ap-parently.

Heisindeed.

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MUsIC

The Best Party Ever sounds likeeavesdroppingona children’s party.The Boy Least LikelyTo’s debutalbum is fullofplayfulandpoppybeats,suppliedbyPeteHobbs,whilethemellowvoiceoflyricistJofOwensurroundsitall.ThebandhadtheirownTickleTrunkofinstrumentsforrecording.“Itrynottodanceanymore,butifsomethingmakesmedanceaboutin a stupid way then that’s usually a good sign”,explains Owen from aWest London studio wheretheduoarerecordingaB-sidetotheirnextsingle.Songs like thecurrentsingle,“BeGentlewithMe”radiatewithasweetinnocencethankstotheuseofaglockenspiel:“Wejustknewwewantedsomethingthatsparkledoverthetopoftherecord,sowespentthreedayssearchingaroundtheshopsforaglock-enspiel. We eventually found one in a children’stoyshop and when we put it down on the track itsoundedjustaswe’dimaginedit.Theglockenspielasaleadinstrumentbecamequiteadistinctivepartofthewaywesoundedafterthat”.

Thealbum’stracklistingreadsofflikeacollectionof children’s stories including,“I’m Glad I HitchedMyAppleWagon toYourStar.”Thesingerexplainsthat thealbumwas“originally justmeant tobeacollection of all the singles we’d released so far,

butthenwedecidedtoaddfiveorsixnewtracks…thenwhenweput thesongs togetherwenoticedthatthealbumhadanoverallthemeandasketchynarrativearc.Itjustseemedtocomeoutthatway.”Completingthethemewasthealbumartwork.Thequirkycartoonsareafamilyaffair,asOwen’sbrothercreates themall and the two thencollaborateonthefinishedproduct.Owenbelievesthattheartworkandthealbumareinterchangeablebecause“whenpeoplepickuptherecordforthefirsttimewithouthavingheardit,theycanstillgetsomeideaofwhatthemusicisgoingtosoundlike.”Thepointisdrivenhomeinthemusicvideofor“BeGentleWithMe”asOwensingswithabackingbandofanimalpuppets.“It’s a bit scary seeing them come to life”, Owenconfesses.There’s something quite‘Frankenstein’smonster’aboutthewholething”.

ForthoseexpectinganauraldoseofProzacfrom“The Best Party Ever,” it’s not all about rainbowsandsmiles.“Iamgenerallyahappyperson,butatthesame time I’mquiteweirdlypreoccupiedwithsadness.Ithinkaboutthingstoomuch,andIworrytoo much about death and dying, and I think I’mprobablyover-sensitivetotheevilsideoflife.Ithinkthesadderordarkerlyricscomplimenttheupbeat,

happypopfeelofthemusic.Ithinkitstopsthemu-sicfrombeingtoosaccharineandsickly,andIthinklikewise, themusicstopsthe lyrics frombeingtoodepressingorselfindulgentormorose.”Looknofur-therthan“SleepingWithMyGunUnderMyPillow”asaprimeexample,withanodetoparanoiathatisaswhimsicalasitistwistedwithitsbentmelodynotes.

To work against the critics’ tendency to labelthe group as“twee,” Owen states that the band’ssound is“country disco”. He can see where thewritersarecomingfromthough:“Ialwaysthoughtallthosebandsfromthe80s,likeTalulahGoshandBMXBanditsandThePoohSticksandalltheotherC86 bands, were unfairly derided for supposedlybeing too‘twee’or‘cute.’AndBelleandSebastianstill get it too but I always thought those bandshadatongue-in-cheeksenseofhumourtothewaytheywentabout things,but I think thatwasoftenmissed.”

Cute as their music may or may not be,TBLLThavetheirfairshareof‘little’friends:“Theycan’tal-waysgetintoourshows,butifweeverdoin-storeshowsinrecordshopsthere’salwaysalotofchil-dren there.Oneofourbiggest fans isonlynine. Ican’ttellyouhisnamebecausehesetupapagesohecouldbeourfriendandyouhavetobefourteentobeonMySpace,andhe’sworried thathe’llgetkickedoffifanyonefindsout.”

Luckilyfortheband,mostoftheirfansareofageandareenthusiasticallyappearingatshowsbring-ingflowers,bakedgoods,andbubblestoblow.Forthosewhoshowupemptyhanded,thebandreadily

 LIONs AND  TIGERs AND (POOh) bEARs, Oh My!ThE bOy LEAsT LIkELy TO WordsEmilyKhong

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supplies percussion instruments to join in on thefun.TBLLThaverecentlyfinishedtouringwithJames“You’reBeautiful”Bluntandarecurrentlydoingtheirownheadliningjaunt.Owenadmitsthatthey’renotfansofconstant touring:“We justwant tomake itspecial when we play live…As my mum used totellmewhenIaskedwhywedidn’tmoveclosertotheseaside,‘Ifyoulivebythesea,yougetusedtothesea.’That’s thewaywe feelaboutplaying live.Wedon’twantpeopletojustgetusedtousbeingaround.Wewanttobelikeeveryone’sdaytriptotheseasidethathappensonceayear.Somethingtheylookforwardtoandneverforget.”

Whentheydotour,theyfeedtheirmusicaddic-tion the only way they can.“We’ve never stoppedbeinggeekyaboutmusic.We’restillhappiestflick-ingthroughaboxofseveninchesinalittlerecordshopinwhatevertownwefindourselvesin.”There’spickinguprecordsbyThePoohSticks.Thenthere’spickingupPoohsticks(agameplayedbyWinnie,where participants drop sticks off a bridge andwhoever’sstickpassesunderneath thebridgefirstwins).WhataretheoddsofTBLLThavingthesingermostlikelytobecomeaprofessionalathlete?Prettyhigh.“Iwanttobecomea‘professional’Poohsticksathlete”, declares Owen.“I never want to do any-thingatanamateurlevelbutI’llprobablyleavethatforafewyearsyet.Fornow,I’lljustconcentrateonrecordingthenextalbumandeverythingthatgoeswith that. I thinkPetewouldcompletelydespairofmeifIkeptleavingthestudioearlytopracticemyPooh-sticks-droppingtechnique.”

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THEy WERE PUNks bEFORE yOU WERE A PUNkyOUTh bRIGADEWordsMarielleKhoPhotographyJasonLang

Imissedthepunkrockboatbigtimebecausemyparentsdecidedtoprocreateaftertheheydayofpunkinthelate70s.Inevergottoexperiencewhatpeopledescribedasthebirthofagenreandyes,thismakesmebitter,becauseIknowthatI’llneverbeabletosee,talkto,muchlessgetdownanddirtyinthewash-roomofCBGB’swithbandsliketheRamones.Buthoperemainsformygenera-tion,asaslimnumberofpunkbandsfromthe70shaven’tyetoverdosedinadodgyhotelroom.OnesuchbandisYouthBrigade,who’vebeenplayingsincebeforemyconception.Leadsinger,ShawnStern,enlightensandgivesatasteofpunkrockantiquity.

Is Youth Brigade going to release a new album or EP any time soon?

Uh,yeah,I’vebeenworkingonnewsongsforthepastfiveyears.It’sjustthatlifegetsintheway,andwekeeptalkingaboutit.Adam’sbusydoinggraphicsandanimationforfilm,andI’mbusywiththelabel(BYORecords)andI’malsobusybuildingahouse.Butwereplanningandworkingonit; it’s just takingawhile.

You are definitely someone who has been around. What do you think now about punk being mixed with different sounds, like metal, hardcore, even folk punk and art punk?

Whenwestartedoutinthelate70s,punkreallyencompassedalldifferentstylesofmusic.Itwasreallymoreaboutanattitudeandlook,ratherthanastyleofmu-sic.Itreallygotmorenarrowlydefinedintheearlyeightieswiththiswhole‘hard-core’definition,whichIalwaysthoughtwaskindofridiculous.IalwaysblamedthatonTimYohannonandMaximumrocknroll [magazine];thatwholePCthingofwhatyoushouldorshouldn’tsoundlike,whatyoushouldorshouldn’tlooklike,andIalwaysthoughtthatitwaskindawrong.Itwasneverenvisionedbyanyonetobeacertainway;itwasreallyaboutdoingyourownthing.Granted,Iwouldn’tcallalotofthesebandstoday‘punkrock.’Atleast,forme,‘punkrock’isaboutthinkingandspeakingforyourself,andtalkingaboutwhat’swrongwiththeworldandhowyou’dliketotryandchangeit.Ithinkthosethingsstillexist,andpeopleshouldstillbetalkingaboutit.Ihavenothingagainstlovesongs,butifthat’sallyou’vegottotalkabout,thenthat,forme,isn’tpunkrock.

A band’s image is playing a much more prominent role nowadays. Do you think this is moving away from the roots of punk rock?

There’snotmuchyoucandoaboutit,soIjustwouldn’tworryaboutit.That’sbeenexistentforalongtime.Lookattheearlydaysofpunk:ahugepartofitwasstyle.Lookatthe[Sex]Pistolsandtheirtheatrics,muchliketheNewYorkDolls.Theydresseduplikewomen,basically.Itwillalwaysbeapartofthemusic;itisartandperformance.Butattheendoftheday,it’sthemusicthatmattersthemost.Noamountoftheatricsisgoingtomakeupforlousymusic.

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MUsICAre the shows you play now crazier than the

shows you guys played in the 70s? I heard a story about a girl pulling a bloody tampon out of her and sucking on it.

Thatwasn’tourshow!ThatwaswhenIwenttogoseetheDickies,andoneoftheopeningbandsde-cidedtodoanencore,eventhoughnoonethoughtthey deserved an encore.They had some womancomedowndressedinaminiskirtandfishnets,whowasprobablyinher50sandfromFrance;shewasveryscary.Sheproceededtodowhat Iguessshecalleddancingandpulledabloodytamponoutofherandputitinhermouth.Thatwasourintroduc-tiontopunkrockwhenwewere16or17yearsold.

You and your brothers started BYO Records quite a while ago, and it’s a record label that encourages bands/artists to send in their demos. We all know what you’re looking for in a band, but what kinds of things are you NOT looking for?

I’mnotinterestedifyousoundlikeoneofthosecal-endarbands,thosewhinybandsthatareonmajorlabelsthattrytopassthemselvesoffas‘punkrock’,wearmakeup,singlovesongsandareonthecoverofAlternative Press.They’reusuallyontheWarpedTour.I’mnotinterestedincountry,metalorhip-hopeither.

But the Briefs, who are signed to your label, are pretty popular in alternative press, and I think they’ve played the Warped Tour as well.

IhavenothingagainsttheWarpedTourorAlterna-tivePress.Ifabandisinthatmagazineoronthattour, it doesn’t make them a whiny, crappy, wan-nabepunk rockband.NOFX,Rancid,andBadRe-ligionplayWarpedTourallthetime,andIconsiderthemallverygoodpunkrockbands.Thosearegoodavenues topromoteyourmusic,and if you’vegotsomethingtosay,asarecordcompanyownerandamusician,Iwanttoreachaswideanaudienceaspossible.Evenifakidlistenstothosewhinybandsandthinksthat’spunk,hopefullythey’lllikethemu-sicenoughtowanttoresearchthehistoryandfindoutaboutotherbands,whichseemlikethewaythatalotofthesekidsfindoutaboutus.Themajorityofouraudiencethesedaysisyoungcollegeandhighschoolkids,whichneverceasestoamazeme. It’salwaysnicetohearaguycomeuptomeandsay“I

usedtoseeyouguys20yearsago,andhere’smyson!He’scomingtotheshowwithme.”Sohopefullythekidsarelisteningtowhatwehavetosay.

Next year, 2007, BYO Records is celebrating 25 years as a record label. The people who made the Bouncing Souls commemorative DVD, are also making one for BYO and Youth Brigade…

Yeah,we’remakinga25yearanniversaryDVDandputtogetheraboxsetwith2CDs.We’regoingtotryandgetalotofthebandsthatwe’veworkedwithto write something new, maybe a song or two ordocollaborations to include in theset.We’realsogoingtotryandputtogetherabook,whichwillbeanarrativewithpicturesthatincludethehistoryofthelabelanddetailsthatwouldn’tbeincludedonthefilm.Thefilmwillhaveinterviewsandtrytoshowhowwe’vebeenabletostickaroundfor25years.

Do you think the DVD will be able to properly capture the legacy of 25 years?

IhavetheutmostfaiththatJeffandRyancanputittogether.Imean,justlookatwhattheydidfortheBouncing Souls DVD; that was amazing, granted,thoseguyswerewalkingaroundwithavideocam-erasincetheystartedtheband.Wehavetheoppor-tunitytogotoChinalaterintheyear,sohopefullywe’llfilmsomestuffthere.WhenwewenttoJapanin’96,Ihadacamerawithmeaswell,sothere’salotofmaterialandinterviewstoworkwith.

What do you think punk music would be like if Bush wasn’t the president and the war never happened? What would bands like NOFX have to sing about?

I’dmuchpreferthatyoungpeopleweren’touttheredying.There’s plenty to write about the Americangovernment,regardlessofwho’sinpower,likewhatabunchof assholes theyare, how fuckedup theworldis,andhowwe’rescrewingupourplanet.Peo-plearecomplainingnowthattheyhavetopay$3pergallonforgas,butthemajorityofpeopleintheworld pay double that.The people of this countrywhowere responsible forputting thisgovernmentintopowershouldtakesomeresponsibilityinsteadofsittingontheirassesandrealizethatwe’regoingto runoutofoilandweneed todealwithglobalwarmingnow.Thewar in IraqandBushare justadiversiontotherealproblems.

The Vandals recently went to Iraq to play a show for the soldiers, not necessarily because they support the war, but just to put on a live show for the soldiers. Following that, people in Europe boycotted Vandals’ shows. Would Youth Brigade ever travel to Iraq and do something like that?

I was talking to Joe [Escalante, of the Vandals]aboutthis,andIthinkwhattheydidwasprettycool,andprettyfuckingballsy,becausetheywerecruis-ingaroundinhumvees.AndJoesaidthathecouldputmeincontactwiththepeoplethatputthaton,butIsaid,“Thanks,butnothanks”.AsmuchasIsup-port thetroopsandI’d lovetogooutandplayforthem, I’mnotabout toputmy lifeon the line forsomefucked-upwarthatsomestupidgovernmentissendingpeople to.As faras theboycott iscon-cerned,Ithinkthatitisridiculous;it’snotgoingtoaccomplishanything.AlFrankengoesoutthereandentertains the troops, and so does Henry Rollins.Mostofthosesoldiersarestuckouttherebecausetheysignedupforthearmytogetaneducation.TheAmerican government is so lame that they don’toffer free education or financial help, other thanstickingtheminthearmy. I thinkthat themajorityofpeopledonotwanttobethere,buttheymadeacommitment.Ithinkifthegovernmenthasaprob-lem,theyshoulddealwithit.TheyshouldletBushandSaddamHusseinhaveaduelwitheachother.Whyshouldinnocentpeoplehavetofighttheirwarsforthem?

If they brought back the draft, would you be someone that would hide out in Canada?

I’mtooold,luckily.ButI’dbeoutthere[protesting]justlikeIwasyearsago.Ihelpedorganizethepro-testagainsttheFirstGulfWarbackin1990.IwasgoingdowntotheFederalbuildingeveryweekend,bringingmyPAfortheseblowhardoldhippiesthatwouldsitthereandtalkabouttheirissuesandsitu-ations,thenwedidabigrallydowntown.IgottheRedHotChiliPeppersandThat’sIttoplayforabout10,000people.

How would you ride out the zombie apoca-lypse?

Iwouldgetthefuckouttoaforestandbringalotofexplosives.

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sET TO GOThE PREsETsWordsTylerFedchuk

The Presets are an electronic rockact that will melt your soundsystem,shake your ass and, at the sametime, question modern man’s sleazypursuitof leisure.After that, thisAus-sieduoconsistingofJulianHamiltonand Kimberly Isaac Moyes, will dropthe soundtrack music for your headwhile you wait at the internationaldepartures gate after a weekend ofdebauchery, spentdrinking it inwiththeir debut album, Beams. The Pre-sets have just returned from threemonthsoftouringwiththelikesofTheJuanMacLean,HotChip,Wolfmother,Peaches, Uffie, Digialism, Soulwax,SimianMobileDisco,M.A.N.D.Y,Boo-ka Shade, and Ladytron. ION caughtupwiththemattheirhomeinSydneyAustralia and they wanna know, areyoutheone?

What is the connection between the Presets and Silverchair?

Julian: I used to play keyboards forSilverchair when they toured. Also,Daniel [Johns] is a good friend ofoursandplayedsomeguitaronafewofoursongs.

Back when the Blow Up EP came out in 2003 you said your songs were “different perceptions of mas-culinity.” Would you say that still applies to your latest LP Beams?

Julian: Kind of. What I meant wasthat there are different perceptionsofmasculinityintheworldwelivein.What I’ve tried todo in someof thesongs’lyricsisexploresomeofthoseperceptions - and also smash them.It’sprobablyabittoomuchtogointonow,but just imaginewalking intoaminingtown,goingintothelocalbar

filledwithhardcoreminersand thenstart talking to them about suckingcock.That’skindofwhatwe’retryingtodoinsong.

The visual art that accompanies your releases is very dramatic while your videos are sensational and comical. Are the Presets com-ics or dramatists?

Julian: We create our best musicwhenwearehavingfun.It’salsotrueofphotoshoots,videos,artwork…allthatstuff.Yes,theartworkisquitedra-maticbutIthinkit’smorehighcampthan super dramatic. It’s tongue-in-cheek.

I used to be a bartender and always played the album at work. When “Steamworks” (the opening track on Beams) came on I would be busting my hump trying to keep up. It was the perfect soundtrack for hard work. Is that the idea behind Steamworks?

Julian:Definitely!WehavethissayinginAustralia,“hardyakka.”Itisbasicallya term that describes a real man’sman - racecar drivers, truck drivers,miners, steelworkers, builders. Anymanthatworkslongandhardallday,withotherhardyakkablokes,buildingupasweat,shirtoff,gettingdirty,andfinishingthedaywithanicecoldbeer.Theseguysarehardyakka.Wewant-edtowritehousemusicthatcouldbethesoundtracktothehardyakkaman.“Steamworks”wastheresult.Iwouldlove the film clip for Steamworks tobemuscleymen,workingawayinthemineorinthesteel-worksgettingthejobdone.

What are you singing about on “Down Down Down”?

Julian: Strange that you should askthat.IreadthisgreatlineinaCharlesBukowskibooklastnightactuallythat

kindasummeditup.Ihaven’tgotitinfrontofmerightnow,soI’llprobablymisquotehim-butitwentsomethinglike:“All women fuck differently. Menarealwayschasingthatdifferentfuck.That’s what keeps men alive. That’swhatkeepsmentrapped.”

It seems to me that the Austra-lian music scene is really intercon-nected. All the good bands are on Modular Recordings and they all work together and remix each oth-er’s work, and when that label isn’t big enough for everyone, one of the bands on Modular, Cut Copy, go and start their own label called Cutters and the first thing they release is a 12” for Kim’s solo electro work called K.I.M. on which Kim name-checks label-mates Cut Copy and his own band The Presets on the track “System Breakdown.” What do you think it is about the Australian music scene that facilitates this amount of co-operation?

Julian:We’reallsluts.

Kim:Weonlyhaveeachothercausewearesoisolatedsoweallneedtoco-operate. I think musicians gener-allyco-operatewitheachotheranditisn’treallysomethingthatnew.

Do you think all of this co-oper-ation among you Australians gives you an advantage when you’re try-ing to break into foreign markets?

Julian: Being signed toModular hasdefinitely helped us a lot. They’veworked very hard for a long time tocreate a really credible brand. Nowpeople know, whether they’re in theUKorUSorCanadaorwherever,thatifModularisputtingoutarecord,thenthat record isdefinitelyworthcheck-ingout. Beingona label along-sidesuchgreatbandsasTheAvalanches,Cut Copy, and now of course Wolf-motherisexcellent.Wefeellikewe’re

partofareallystrongmusicalfamilyhere.

So Kim, about your solo project, what separates the music of K.I.M. from the Presets, and why did you feel it was necessary to separate K.I.M. from the Presets.

Kim: It’s a little less pop-orientatedandabitmoreforthedancefloor.It’snotlikeIfeltIneededtodoit;justkin-dahappenedcausethereissomuchshit lying around on my computer. Ifelt itwouldbefuntoreleasesome-thingonmyown.

Julian’s affected vocals in the chorus of “I Go Hard, I Go Home” sound very similar to Robert Plants chanting on Immigrant Song. Was that an intentional reference?

Julian: Not at all. I had never reallycheckedoutmuchZepbeforemySil-verchairmatesinsistedonplayingmethis live DVD. Of course `ImmigrantSong’ came on and I was like‘Shit!That dude’s singing our song!’ It re-allyisexactlythesameisn’tit?Ihopetheydon’tsueus.

The title track from your album Beams is a departure from the rest of the album. “Beams” is so warm and organic while the rest of the album is so cool and synthetic. You titled your album after it and called it your greatest achievement to date. Is this the direction you want to take The Presets in?

Julian: To be honest, I’m not reallysurewhatdirectionwe’lltakeThePre-setsinnext.Maybeitwillbeminimaltechno, maybe it will be orchestraljazz.Whatevercomesoutofourma-chinesonthedaywillbe`thesound.’Wejustwannahavefun.

Are you the ones?

Julian:Myfriend,weallare...

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 POsTER ART

ALLAN LORDE

MUsICAccordingtohisblogsite,there’snoshameinAllanLorde’sgame:heLOVESbigwomen.Really.Healso takes thesameapproachtoposterdesign,wherehislarger-than-lifeidealcomesoutinspadesintheSaturday-morning-cartoonishdrawing style you see here. I mean take that Horrorpops poster fer instance,that’s a Madball, for crying out loud! Does anyone remember those freakishthings?What exactly did they do anyway?Tell ya what, if anyone has thosestoredupintheirclosetsomewhereAllanwillpaybigbucksfor‘em.Okaymaybenot,butwhathecoulduseisforsomeonetobuyHISstuffandmakehimrich.Orattheveryleast,makehimenoughsohecangetoutofWinnipegeveryonceandawhileandstopwatchingcartoons.

elnegromagnifico.blogspot.com

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From Film Production to 3D and Classical Animation, Sound Design to Makeup

Effects, and plenty more, all the programs at VFS are designed to prepare the next

generation of talent for specifi c careers in the most exciting and creative industry in the world. How? Every student graduates with a demo reel or a portfolio of original

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From Film Production to 3D and Classical Animation, Sound Design to Makeup Effects, and plenty more, all the programs at VFS are designed to prepare the next generation of talent for specifi c careers in the most exciting and creative industry in the world. How? Every student graduates with a demo reel or a portfolio of original work – the ultimate calling card.

Sound Design for Visual Media at VFS

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 ALbUM REVIEws

gnarls BarKley sT. ELsEwhERE DowntownThe love child of producer Danger Mouse (ofGorillazfame)andsinger/hoodlumCee-LoGreen(GoodieMob),thisalbumimmortalizesthenightCee-LoandDangergothighonacidandwatchedJesusChristSuperstar.Trackslike“GoGoGadgetGospel”and“Transformer”fuseinspirationalmes-sageswitherraticfluteriffsanddark,sexybreak-beats.TheresultissouniquelyintoxicatingIcan’tdecide what to do first: watch Saturday morningcartoonsormasturbatetotheOldTestament.Thesingle,“Crazy”issoshit-hotitrecentlybecamethefirstsongtoreachthetopoftheBritishchartsbyinternet distributionalone. It’s another feel-good,quirkyballad,slightlyreminiscentof“Crabbucket”but without the suck. I’ve heard the distinction“songofthesummer”beingthrownaround.How-ever,allgreatsongsfallvictimtogrossoverexpo-sure and become obnoxious, so enjoy this gemwhile it’s fresh. Gnarls taps into theTricky-esquedeath/sex conflationniche in“Necromancing”. Ifyou’reawesomeenough to liveathome,bead-visedthatlyricspromotingnecrophiliamaynotbeideal forblastingaroundyourmoms– thatsaid,thisCDcompelsyou todance,notscrutinize,soshemightnotevennotice.Orshemight justdigthatsick-assshit.

4.5/5 LibWolber

PuMiCe yEAhNAhVIENNA soft aBuse reCorDsNewZealand’sacclaimedcomicbookartistSte-fanNevillehasbeenamemberof the country’sundergroundmusicsceneforoveradecadeandhasfinallymanaged tocreateabuzzoutsideofKiwi territorywithhissecond release,Yeahnahvi-ennaunder themonikerPumice.Yeahnahvienna was conceived and recorded in Vienna in early2004andhasjustrecentlybeenmadeavailablein NorthAmerica.The album contains 10 tracksof deconstructed pop music.Yeahnahvienna be-ginswith“Abominable”anumber thatembodiesthe term“lo-fi” with all the hisses and cracks ofa cassette tape recording.“King Korny Remains”features the quiet voice of Neville accompaniedby lone acoustic chords over ballad-like lyrics.Thealbumclimaxeswitha12-minutetracktitled“TeasTastingFair”whichmakesuseofanorganand vocals that sound as if they were recorded

tHe Doers whATChA DOIN’? reD CatNoreviewofTheDoers’2004debut–Ready, Set… Do–wascompletewithoutmentionoftheinimi-tableMikeWatt’scontributiontoitsaccompanyingEP, I Can Enjoy Just About Anything.Theirsecondalbum finds the Vancouver quartet very muchdoin’itforthemselves.Inretrospect,thecircle-the-wagonsapproachprovesallthemorecommend-ableasWhatcha Doin’?markstheswansongfororiginaldrummerJerf.Admittedly,aninauspiciousopening note is struck with the plodding“HelloHorsey.”However, thatsequencingmisstep is im-mediatelyremediedbyavolleyofTheDoers’cus-tomary acou-punk. Songs like the exuberant“NoRight Now” evidence the group in fighting form.Kit-bashingJerfminesmathy rhythmswithBarryHigginson,whocementshisstatusasatop-flightfour-stringer.Meanwhile,guitaristSeanMaxeyandsprightlyvocalistSarahJanegamelyleadthema-jority of the shout-alongs.Tallying 19 tracks, thediscprovesalongandwindingroadrifewithodd-ball off-ramps (“Sports Cars For Everyone”).Thearguablyexcessivesongcountcanlikelybeattrib-utedtothebandharbouringthebestofintentions.The Doers’ raucous cover of Daniel Johnston’s“WickedWorld”ideallyexemplifiestheirmandate.Withthisrelease,theyseemhellbentonshowinglistenersonehellofatime.

3.5/5 CurtisWoloschuk

gHengis tron DEAD MOUNTAIN MOUTh CruCial BlastThe debut full-length from this three-piece fromPoughkeepsie, New York is yet another entryinto thecategoryof interestingalbums thatyourparentswillhate.Convenientlyslated for releaseon 6/6/06, Dead Mountain Mouth mixes unholyscreamingandthrashmetalriffagewithambientelectro-cheese. The only thing harder than thethrashmetalriffageistryingtofigureoutiftheseguys are genuine or the entire album is a per-vertednewlevelofironytheworldisn’treadyfor.Either way, it’s fantastic.Think of Dead Mountain Mouthastheperfectsoundtracktoaneveningatachinstrokingwinepartywhereyouaccidentallydrinktoomuchvinoandkickovereverynewspa-perboxonthe10blockwalkhome.

4/5 MichaelMann

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Various artists ThE sOUND ThE hARE hEARD Kill roCK starsSlim Moon’s label has been host to some really‘out there’recordingsovertheyears, from“word-core” to Nintendo game theme covers. But thatdoesn’tmeanheneglectsthemoretraditionalas-pectsofAmericanmusicalculture.For The Sound The Hare Heard–whosenamecomesfromaBud-dhistparable–Mooncompiledseveralofhisbestfolkingsinger-songwriterpickings fromhisdemoinbox along side label stalwarts like LauraVeirsandSufjanStevens.Indeed,itappearsAmericaisinnoshort supplyof solid folk singers. Iwonderwhy.MaybethebaroqueSimoneWhitechallenge“TheAmericanWar”knows.ThedepartedspiritofElliottSmithrestsheavilyonthiscompilation.

4/5 FilmoreMescalitoHolmes 

Voxtrot MOThERs, sIsTERs, DAUGhTERs & wIVEs Cult HeroTexas is not traditionally noted for its twee. Con-sequently, the song stylings of Austin’s Voxtrotbeg an explanation. Well, it seems vocalist/gui-taristRameshSrivastavaventured toScotland insearchofalitdegree.HeinsteadreturnedastheLone Star State’s answer to Belle & Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch. Voxtrot’s second EP grabs thebatonfrom2005’sRaised By Wolvesinfullstride.Reverb-heavy guitars jangle and entwine withmelodious bass while danceable drums incitetheargylesock-hoppers.Lyrically,Srivastavacon-tinuestoemployhairpinturnsofphraseandtautschemesthatlendthemselvesideallytohisagilevocals.Granted,thedisclacksatrackasinstantlyinfectiousasWolves’heady,Morrissey-minus-the-issues“TheStartofSomething.”However,Mothersboasts a wealth of dynamics not found on itspredecessor. “Fast Asleep” sees its bass-heavythrust surrender to a lithe, violin-accompaniedpianopassage.Acello joins thecomplementon“Rise Up in the Dirt” and slide guitar lends allmannerofambienceto“FourLongDays.”By thetimeaFrenchhornsoundson“Soft&Warm,”it’sevident that Srivastava has taken serious stridesasasongwriter/arranger.Andall theAnglophilesimplore:Bringonthefull-length.

4/5 CurtisWoloschuk

in a bathroom finally, concluding in a hail ofcrashing symbols. Overall the album is well puttogether and features some of the greatest lo-firecordingssincePalaceBrothers.Attimes,Nevilleleavesbehindthepopsongstructurethatdefineshisabilitiesasanartistforanexperimental,noiseresonance, including four tracks identically titled“Worsted”whichactasfillerinbetweenthegoodsongsinsteadofunifyingthealbum.

3/5 PaulBorchert

Kieran HeBDen & steVe reiD ThE ExChANGE sEssION VOL. II DoMinoYouprobablyalreadyknowKieranasthemodernprinceoffolktronica,FourTet.SteveReid,youprob-ablydon’t,buthehasperformedaspercussionistfor the likesofMilesDavis,FelaKuti,andJamesBrown.So,yeah,hischopsareneverinquestion.Theselegendsofarguabledegreemetbythefateofthemusicgodsandlaiddownenoughmusictopickandchooseanalbum.But,inlisteningtothetapes,Hebdendecidednothingcouldbe sparedand so we are met with the split results of saidsession.Running16minuteslongerthanitspre-decessor,Vol.IIappearsslightlylessfocusedanddriven.Steve’sdrumming remainsconsistentbutKieran’s lighter, rattle sounds often come off assomewhatstrainedandreactionaryinthesethreetracks,whilethealbumasawholeislessacces-siblethanthefirstinstallment.Nooneelseismak-ingthiskindoffreeimprovisationelectronicjazz,though,andevenforthattheseguysstilldeservetheutmostrespect.

3.5/5 FilmoreMescalitoHolmes

silent Poets sUN noCturneTaking some six years to follow up his AtlanticRecordsdebut,collaboratingproducerMichiharaShimodahasreturnedundertheSilentPoetsban-nertojoinDJKrushinprovingJapanastheplacetogoforsickambienthip-hop.GrantedSun isn’tonthesamelevelasJaku,butSP’sbrandofsynthdubtrip-hophasitsownuniquecharm.AnytrackfeaturingEvertonNelson-conductedstrings is in-stantly richer (Nelson has done strings for Björkand those are always eerily beautiful) and theall-English vocalsdonotcomeoffas tackedon.Offsettingthestrings,Shimoda’sproductionhasatendencytosoundoverlyprogrammed,whichbal-

ancesthisalbumintoasoliddowntemporeleaseinsteadofagreatone.

3.5/5 FilmoreMescalitoHolmes

tHe stills wIThOUT FEAThERs ViCeI thankTheStills for releasingyetanotheralbumtogetusallthroughaMontrealFebruarywithouthanging ourselves. It’s nice to know that some-one can extract artistic inspiration from all thatis bleak and gritty. Getting high and listening to“Baby Blues” (featuring that slutty-voiced chickfromBrokenSocialScene)compelledmetodonmyhorizontal-stripedshirtandfeelsogoodabouthowalternativeIam.Thereareafewsolidtrackstoblastasanupper,butsingingalongwillmakeyoufeellikeanidiot.Thelyricsarefarfrommind-blowing,and themelodiesarea littlebeige,butthisalbumismiserableandself-indulgentenoughtomakeyoufeelcomfortablysubversive.Dabblinginthewhimsyofanti-establishmentiswhaturbansurvival is all about – so have these tracks onhandduringtheelevatorridetoyourboss’loftbe-foreyousleepyourwayupthecorporateladder.

3.5/5 LibWolber

tHe tears hERE COME ThE TEARs inDePenDienteTwelveyearsago,theheartsofthosemusicfanswho listen with their hearts dropped about a ki-lometer under the earth’s surface when what’scommonly known as the best songwriting duoinBritainsinceMorrisseyandMarrsplitupinthemiddle of writing their sophomore effort. SuedewereconsideredtobeattheforefrontoftheBrit-popmovement,rightuptheirwithJarvisCocker’sPulp and others bands with precious one-wordnames. Brett Anderson ended up keeping theSuedenameandreplacedBurnardButlerwithayoungerdoppelganger,whilstButlerwentontoaself-indulgent solo career. Finally back togetherto continue a feeling they both knew they oncewould, Here Come The Tears is akin to Suede’sthird album Coming Up if Butler would haveplayedonandwroteit.Theup-temposongskickashardasSuededid(“Refugee”and“Lovers”),andtheslowerballadsevenhave thoseclassicearly90ssynthpadsounds(“FallenIdol”).Thisalbumcreatestwinkle-eyednostalgiaforSuedefansandsatisfiesallour“whatif”bar-roomwishes.

4/5 TrevorRisk

MUsIC

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TALEs OF ORDINARy  MADNEssWordsSamKerr

The Internet is a great forum for liars. Many years ago, the telephone madeface-to-faceconversationsfaceless,andindoing,soitusheredinagoldenageforthosewhodidn’twanttotellthetruth.Nolongercouldoneusethedignityofanother’sgazetogaugethedepthoftheirdishonesty.Thetelephoneturnedcommunicationintoadetachedvoicespillingoutofaplasticspeaker.Today,InstantMessagingischangingthegameonceagainbyriddinghumaninterac-tionofallhumanqualitieswhatsoever.Thereisnofacetolookatorvoicetohear,noscenttosmellorbodylanguagetoread.Whatyouhaveisanexchangeofpixelatedwordsonacomputerscreen.Thankstothisdigitalanonymity,onemustconstantlyaskoneself:DoIreallyknowwhothispersonis,sittingattheotherendofcyberspace?

MyfriendEriksetupafakeemailaccount.Next,hewenttohotornot.comand stole some pictures of a hot young girl, with slutty eyes.After that, Erikwaited.

Erik would go out drinking with his friends and he would silently monitortheir alcohol consumption.Whenoneof thesedegenerate scumbagswouldseparatehimselffromthepackandshinealoneasthedrunkestguyinthebar,theAlphadrunk,Erikwouldmakeamentalnote.Forthesakeofthisstorylet’scallthatloserdrunk‘Sam.’

Afteranallnightbender,Samfiresuphiscomputerandnoticesthatsome-onehasaddedhimtotheirlistonMSN.Heclicksonthismysterypersontoseetheirdisplaypicture:ahotyounggirl,withsluttyeyes.Hung-over,confused,andhorny,Samcan’thelpbutask,‘whoareyou?’

Sheresponds,“I’mTara,silly.Don’tyourememberme?Wemetlastnightatthebar.Youweremakingjokesaboutfatpeople.You’resooooorightIhatefatpeople!”

Samdoesn’tremembermeetingTaralastnight,ormakingthosecomments

for that matter. However he was excessively drunk, so Sam assumes that hemusthavepickedherupduringhisblackout.Logicalenough.Thusbeginstheironlineromance.

Erik isagood liar.Hegetsdeep into themind,andwellunder theskin,ofthis19-year-oldgirl.TaraHollandhasalifestory.ShestudiesatUBCbutorigi-nallygrewupinKingston,Ontario.ShehasafakeroommatenamedSarahwhomovedout fromWinnipeg tobecomeahair stylist. Erik legitimizesTara’son-lineauthenticitybyadoptingtheinstantmessagemannerismsofyouraverageyoungstrumpet.Hewritesinpinkfont.Heusesblushingemoticons.“Hahaha’isreplacedbythemorefeminineandadolescent‘heehee.’ErikreadscelebritygossipmagazinesjusttokeepTarauptodate.He.She.TaraHollandisanintri-catelycraftedwebofdeceit,andSamistangleddeepwithinherlies.

Afewweekslater,TarastartsanonlinefightwithSam,accusinghimofbeinga shallow pervert who is interested in her exclusively for sex. Startled by theaccuracyofhercriticism,Sam’sonlydefenseistoshowhissensitiveside.Fortwohourshepoursouthisheartlikeadrunkardonrealitytelevision.Samisanemotionalman.Erikknowsthatitistimetoact.

TaraHollandlikesmuscles.SheasksSamtoemailherashirtlessphotoex-posing his sexy muscles.Without hesitation Sam obliges.After receiving thepictureTaraasksSamifhewantstomeetherforsomedrinksatalocalpub....Samimmediatelyagrees.

ThenextnightSamarrivesatthepub,‘A’gameintact.POW,heisreadytorunsomemutha-fuckin’game,boy!Meanwhile,Eriklurksinadarkcornerofthepub,incognito.HewatchesSam’sconfidenteyesasthewaitressdropsoffamenu.Samordersadrinkandtellsthewaitressajoke.Samisfuckingfeelingittonightkid.ErikfocusesinonSam’seagereyesastheyglancedowntonoticeapieceofpaper,stickingoutofthebottomofhismenu.Curiously,SamremovesthepaperandgoespalerthanaNorwegiangothkidinDecember.Breathless,Samstaresatapictureofhimself,shirtless,makingsluttyeyesatthecamera.

Erikleavesthebarthroughabackdoor,thankingthewaitressforherhelponthewayby.Hestridesconfidentlydownthealleylightingacigarette.Theexactoppositeofasexualpredator,Erikislookingforhisnextvictim,

IONMAGAZINE.CA  47

Men are from Mars and women are from the kitchen’... Jokes like that are the reason why all the women in your life go to Speakers Corner, pay a buck to be on TV and squeal about how men are assholes. You and your ladies need to be buried under feces and dragged through the streets of the burbs by your corn-rows.

  

LEO   July 23-Aug 22

Even your dog is sick of you bring-ing its name up and thinks you’re alittleBITCH.Asexcitingasvetbillsanddogtrickssound,amoreexhilaratingsound would be the air that comesoutofyourdog’sassrightbeforehetakesanicebigcraponsomeone...else’slawn.Gopickup‘Menarefrommarsandwomenarefromthekitch-en’, squeeze yourbunionsand readyourself,alone,tosleep.

 

VIRGO   Aug 23-Sept 23

Youfeeltheneedtogetpeopletalk-ingaboutyou.UnfortunatelyhearingaboutyouislikewatchingBiographyon Elvis. We’ve heard it all beforeandweknowthat, intheend,you’regonna be a sweaty fatty with a pre-scriptiondrugproblem.Letitgo,trytoblendinwithyourpussfacedfriendsandfadeawaylikeOasis.

  

LIbRA   Sept 24-Oct 23

Being a Libra with standards, you’vebeen taking all of your dates to thelibrary.However,youneedtogetyourstorystraightwhenfeedingyourdatesthe lies of your upbringing. It’s obvi-ous tomost that yourmotherwasastripperandyourgrandadwasawar

criminal,butwhenyourdateseesyouinthemorningwithoutanyeyebrows,thejigwillbeuponyouralienabduc-tionandanalmassacrescarring.Yourluckycoloriswetpink.

 

sCORPIO   Oct 24-Nov 22

Yourdreamsofstardomareasbleakas Madonna’s career in acting... al-thoughIdidcryduring Evita,(butthatwasbecausetheknifeIwasusingtoslitmywristshad vinegar spilledonit from my fish ‘n’ chips) However,youcansimplymoveyourbigdreamdowntheladderanotch.IfyouscrewajudgeandgetagreencardyoucanbethenewhostforAFV.

 

sAGITTARIUs  Nov 23-Dec 21

You are finding that problems arisein family life, but as Jupiter entersyoursigntowardstheendofsummer,thingswillpanout.Kindoflikewhenyou and your close cousin playedticklefightandendedupnaked,put-ting Batman stickers on each other.Ohtobe21again.

 

CAPRICORN  Dec 22-Jan 20

Yourdrinkinghasspiraledoutofcon-trol. While others lay blame on youand say you’re a pile of featheredcrap,Ibelieveyou’refindingyourtrue

self. It takesastrongpersontopushoverthosenewsboxes(toaneleven-year old, those things are heavy). Ittakesheartforsomeonetohavetwobeers and suddenly talk like they’refromCompton.Keepitreal,son. 

AQUARIUs   Jan 21-Feb 19

You really shouldhangyourselfwithyourpreciousneck-scarf.It’sfiveyearstired and you haven’t cleaned thatbacteria rag forso longthat theMy-coplasma inside it have a strata setup and are about ready to off eachother.True, the neck-scarf does hideyour obvious awkwardness, but trustme, the awkward people are gettinglaidthesedays.Workonyourstu-stu-stutterda-da-douche-bag.

 

PIsCEs   Feb 20-March 20

You’re disappointed that you don’tknow enough good bands to havea good summer album so you keepreliving good times by playing WillSmithandSherylCrow,secretlywish-ing that someday they’d do a duet.PickupsomeSlowdiveandstartyourlife over because nothing you havedonesofarisworthcontinuing...keepthatheadup,scumbag.

 

ARIEs   March 21-April 20

You’reAriesTheRamandtherehasn’tbeen a better ram since RobertDowney Jr.’s first night in jail.You’vesucceededinkeepingyouraffairase-cret,butasSaturncontinuestomoveforward, your crabs will kick in andgiveyouaway.This iswhathappenswhen you get backstage and havesexateveryshowyougoto.Unfortu-nately,thecrabswilllastlongerthanthebandsyou’rebanging.

 

TAURUs  April 21-May 21

No one will be joining you at thebeach this month or cashing in onyour exciting“drinking on the patio”invitations.Yourdaysasacheesedickscenesterareatandend.TheInternethasmade you,anddue to your sadtaste, everyone is logging off. BetterrunswerehadinaMexicantoilet.

 

GEMINI  May 22-June 21

You’ve been wondering why yourpartnerskeeptheirdistancefromyousexually.Wellthereasonis,andIhateto beat around the bush, you needtogroomyourwomb,buzzyourfuzz,y’know,shaveyourcave,clipyourrip,chopyourslop.

 hOROsCOPE Words ErnoldSane

‘‘ ‘

’’–CANCER June 22-July 22

48  IONMAGAZINE.CA

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