iof scotland dm masterclass
DESCRIPTION
Slides from DM Masterclass, Edinburgh, June 2011. Developing propositions and writing great copyTRANSCRIPT
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DM Masterclass
Damian O’BroinAsk Direct
Creating persuasive messages and writing great copy for direct marketing
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Morewww.askdirect.ie
www.twitter.com/damianobroin
www.slideshare.net/damianob
www.delicious.com/damianob
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What was...
...The last movie you saw
...The last novel you read
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Once upon a tim!...
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€250,000 target met.
10% increase on 2009
(so far...)
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Propositions
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A journey back in time to the centre of the brain....
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The most effective messages appeal
here
“Researchers have demonstrated that [we] make decisions in an emotional manner and then justify them rationally”
– Renvoisé & Morin, Neuromarketing
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Rational
Emotional
Switch - Chip & Dan HeathThe Happiness Hypothesis – Jonathan Haidt
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“When people ask me what difference a donation can make, I reply that
donations to Starship transform lives. Parents have told me with tears in
their eyes what it means to know their child is receiving the best possible care
at Starship.
And behind every one of these children there are compassionate
people like you dedicated to helping.
Your donation will help Starship support children and their families at their moment of greatest need. It is at these moments, when a child’s life can
hang in the balance, that your donation becomes truly
transformational.”
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Old Brain New Brain
Emotional Rational
Automatic Reflective
Elephant Rider
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The Six ‘Old Brain’ Stimuli
1. Self-Centred
4. Beginning & End3. Tangible Input
6. Emotions
2. Contrast 5. Visual Stimuli
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Self-Centred
Visual Stimuli
TangibleEmotions
Contrast Implied Beginning & End
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Diagnose the
PAINDifferentiate your
CLAIMDemonstrate the
GAIN
Deliver to the
OLD BRAIN
What is the need?Why is this a problem for your
supporter?
Why is your organisation best placed to
address the need?
How are you going to make things better?
And why does this matter to your supporter?
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Deliver to the
OLD BRAIN
Create
STICKY MESSAGES
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SUCCES
implenexpectedoncreterediblemotionaltories
heathbrothers.com
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Simple
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J FKFB INAT OUP SNA SAI RS
JFK FBI NATO UPS NASA IRS
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Simple
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Unexpected
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Concrete
“Twelve pennies will give a poor child a day’s treat.”
Irish Independent, May 1905
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Concrete
1450 LODESTAR ROAD, UNIT 18TORONTO, ON M3J 3C1
1010943
YOUR 1 DOLLAR = 2 MEALS
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Credible
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Emotional
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“P.S. As a token of our appreciation for your gift, we will add your name to our supporter dedication
wall which will be featured on the real Rainbow
Warrior. Your name will stand alongside others
from around the world who are prepared to contribute
to a greener world.”
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The Mother Teresa Principle
If I look at the mass, I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.
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Every year, 15 million children die of hunger
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Rebirth
Tragedy
Comedy
Voyage and Return
The Quest
Rags to Riches
Stories
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Overcoming the Monster
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Renvoisé & Morin Heath Bros. Cialdini
Self-centred Simple Reciprocation
Contrast Unexpected Consistency
Tangible Input Concrete Social Proof
Beginning & End Credible Liking
Visual Stimuli Emotional Authority
Emotions Stories Scarcity
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Propositions
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Writing direct response copy
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Geroge OrwellPolitics and the
English Language(1946)
‣ Never use a metaphor, simile or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
‣ Never use a long word when a short one will do.
‣ If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
‣ Never use the passive where you can use the active.
‣ Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
‣ Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.
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What makes a good story?
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Beat target
by 33%
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DEMENTIANURSEAPPEAL
This Spring, let’s not forget the 72,500 people with dementia in Scotland.
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What’s missing?
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“With over 72,500 people in Scotland needing the support and understanding of a Dementia Nurse, and that figure expected to double over the next 25 to 30 years, it’s essential that this appeal is
a success.”
More than 70,000 people in Scotland need the the support and understanding
of a Dementia Nurse. That’s 70,000 mothers, fathers, wives or husbands.
Perhaps one of them is even someone you know.
And the shocking news is that over the next 25 years, the number of people with dementia is set to double. That’s going to put intense pressure on our
services. We need your support now so that we can ensure every person with
dementia receives the care and support they need.
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Four times as much money raised
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Copywriting Case Study
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Helpline Number1800 341 900
Content warning
Clear, tangible, early ask in standfirst
Starts telling the story…(visual descriptions)
Letter mentions “you”, “your” or “yourself ” 11
times on first page.
Detail (credibility)
Emotion
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“you” / “your” mentioned a further 8
times here
Deadline to build urgency
Need emphasised
Personal testimony to build credibility
Specific ask linked to benefits
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Emotion (Anger)
3rd Ask
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Benefit / Solution
Personal and emotional
Benefit / Solution
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Thanks
Specific examples of what your gift will do
4th Ask
5th Ask
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Prominent reference to €250 tax efficient giving
level
Repeat of call to action from Margaret
Helpline Number1800 341 900
Data capture at top
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The Results…
New donors recruited: 196 (30% ahead of target) (36% more than 2009)
Average Gift: €141 (Increase of 67% on 2009)
Net cost per acquisition: €0 (down from €121 in 2009)
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Up 84%
year-on-year
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2009
2010
General Monthly Gifts Top Donors
General Cash +28%
Monthly Gifts +88%
Top Donors +227%
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Not just tangible - restricted
Increased focus on top donor segments
Core service - familiar, understandable topic
Emotional, donor-centred,visual, great story
Clear need & achievable solution
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“You” or “Your” is repeated 14 times on Page 1
(and donor’s name appears four times)
Visual stimulus
Articulation of need
Thanks donor and demonstrates impact
Introduces story...
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Donor focused solution
Clear target
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What you need to know about direct response copy
‣ Long copy almost always beats short copy
‣ Use ‘I’ and ‘You’ but mostly ‘You’
‣ Use active rather than passive language
‣ Keep the language simple, the sentences short and avoid jargon like the plague
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What you need to know about direct response copy‣Make it sounds like someone is taking
‣ Appeal on the basis of benefits, not needs (or features)
‣ Tell people exactly what you want them to do (make a gift of €25; email your local TD)...
‣ ... And make it as easy as possible for them to do it.
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What you need to know about direct response copy
‣ You can drive up response by using...
- urgency
- deadlines
- targets
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What you need to know about direct response copy‣ Tell stories
‣ Use emotion
‣Make it personal
‣ PS: Always include a PS - it’s usually read first and most often
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Make it easy to read
‣ Use a large font (12pt or larger) and a serif typeface
‣ Indent paragraphs and vary their length
‣ Break up the text with sub-heads, bold, underline, italics, images, handwritten notes
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Make it easy to respond
‣ Be clear what you’re looking for
‣ Large donation forms and plenty of room to write
‣Make forms easy to negotiate
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1. Headline/Standfirst / Johnson Box2. First page3. PS4. Call to action on response device
Copy Exercise
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Thank Youwww.askdirect.ie
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