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An Introduction to

Transformative Mediation

The Association for Conflict Resolution

2013 Annual Conference

Minneapolis, MN

Speakers: Kristine Paranica, Director, UND Conflict Resolution Center,

Grand Forks, ND

Sarah Prom, Consultant, UND Conflict Resolution Center

Dan Simon, Twin Cities Mediation, St. Paul, MN

Agenda:

- Understanding the experience of conflict

- Exploring the tenets and premises of

Transformative Mediation

- Principles and Hallmarks

- Discussing the Myths of Transformative Mediation

UND Conflict Resolution Center Dan Simon’s Twin Cities Mediation

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WHY IS CONFLICT HARD?

UNDERSTANDING THE EXPERIENCE OF CONFLICT

I. Think of a recent conflict

that you were involved

in. As you replay your

conflict experience,

describe YOUR

behavior, feelings,

thoughts, and physical

symptoms while in the

moment of conflict:

(For example, I felt enraged,

powerless, tense…)

II. Now, describe the

OTHER person in the

conflict. How did you

perceive their behavior?

Describe their emotions.

Describe their physical

symptoms of conflict.

(For example, he/she was

mean, uncaring,

insensitive,

unreasonable…)

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UNDERSTANDING THE

EXPERIENCE OF CONFLICT

How does conflict impact you? We all experience conflict in much the same way.

It is a universal experience that makes us all feel weak, frustrated, confused, angry,

suspicious, defensive, and/or emotional (Bush & Folger, 1994). In conflict, our

ability to think clearly, make good decisions, feel confident or capable, and/or feel

in control of ourselves is diminished.

How does conflict impact the way you view others? Typically, conflict has a

destructive impact on our relationships. It can cause us to view others in a negative

way. When we feel this way we are least able to see or value another person’s

perspective (Bush & Folger, 1994).

When we are in conflict, we typically feel…

Unsure of what to do

Incapable of managing our problems

Unaware of the resources we could use to help us

Less able to live out our values

Not in control of our lives!

Least able to access whatever problem solving skills we may have

Least able to listen to, understand, or take the perspective of another person

On the other hand, when we are not in conflict and things are going well, we think

clearly, feel stronger, confident, and are more capable of handling multiple tasks

and managing our lives.

When we are not in conflict we typically feel…

Confident of the decisions we make

Capable of managing our problems

In touch with the resources we can

use

Able to live out our values

In control of our lives!

Sure of our problem-solving skills

Capable of understanding the

perspective of others

Here’s the conflict paradox:

When you are feeling bad (i.e.,

hurt, angry, tense, powerless,

frustrated) and thinking the

other person is a jerk,

remember the other person is

also feeling bad and thinking

you’re a jerk.

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You

HOMEOSTASIS AND CONFLICT

Conflict can take us out of our homeostasis, disrupting our comfort zone and our

balance between peace and conflict.

Walter Cannon, who was the first person to discover the stress response, believes

that it is this strain on the body that causes us to experience stress and come out of

our homeostasis. In order to regain our balance or equilibrium we may need to

increase positive activities (e.g., sleep, exercise, diet) or decrease negative

activities (e.g., reduce stress or stop smoking) in order to get our body back within

our predetermined set points.

Similar to our physical body’s attempt to stay in homeostasis, we believe that we

have a mental and emotional homeostasis. That homeostasis is our ability to

maintain a balance between peace and conflict. It’s our comfort zone where we are

best able to live out our beliefs and values.

So, how does this relate to conflict? When we experience conflict (e.g., a difficult

conversation) it upsets our balance. We typically can handle stress within

reasonable limits, but similar to our body’s reaction to an injury or illness, conflict

can take us out of our homeostasis. Many of us avoid difficult conversations

because they could cause conflict and this conflict disrupts our balance. When we

are out of our homeostasis we typically feel: uncertain, unsure of what to do,

not in control, frustrated, angry, least able to listen and take the perspective of

another person, self-absorbed, least able to problem solve and least able to live

out our values.

Peace

Time

Triggers

Conflict

Out of your

homeostasis

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THE FOUNDATION OF THE TRANSFORMATIVE

MEDIATION PROCESS The moment-by-moment activities of the mediator are guided by the mediator’s

beliefs about human beings and social interactions. These beliefs are referred to as

the mediator’s premises and are the basis for why we practice from a

transformative framework.

PREMISES OF TRANSFORMATIVE MEDIATION

People

People have separate identities; however, they are also inherently connected to

others

People are motivated by a moral impulse to act with both strength and

compassion

Primary human motivation

Desire to balance their autonomy while maintaining their connection to others

Change their interaction with each other from destructive to constructive

Social institutions (including conflict resolution processes) should

Facilitate self-fulfillment of individuals

Foster compassionate strength

Support human interaction

Highest value to be attained by conflict intervention

Shift in the quality or character of human interaction from:

Negative to positive

Adversarial to cooperative

Objectifying to humanizing

Conduct by the parties in mediation that integrates strength of self with

responsiveness to another, whatever the outcome Used with permission from the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Inc.

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AN INTRODUCTION TO TRANSFORMATIVE

MEDIATION

Transformative Mediation became a distinct process for mediation following the

writing of The Promise of Mediation (Bush, Folger, 1994; 2004). The theories and

ideas written by the authors were moved into mediation practice when the US

Postal Service asked the authors to use these ideals to mediate cases for them and

to train mediators to use the theory and practice. Mediation as a transformative

process is unique because of its five tenets:

1) Mediator focus on party “empowerment”

a. Empowerment occurs when the parties grow calmer, clearer, more

confident, more organized, more decisive, regaining a sense of

strength and able to act and handle the problems they face. During the

course of a mediation session there are “requests for empowerment,”

which are (usually implicit) indications by one or both of the parties

that they desire empowerment. As a mediator, it is important to focus

on a party’s empowerment needs first because if he/she does not feel

some level of empowerment he/she will never offer genuine

recognition.

2) Mediator focus on “recognition”

a. Recognition occurs when parties voluntarily choose to become

more open, attentive, responsive to the situation of another,

thereby increasing the likelihood for them to understand and/or at

least be willing to see another perspective. Only after a party has

experienced some level of empowerment will he/she be able to give

and/or receive recognition. In mediation there are many opportunities

for parties to give recognition to one another and the mediator has a

variety of techniques with which to respond to those opportunities.

The mediator is careful not to force recognition, keeping in mind that

without genuine empowerment and recognition it is unlikely that the

parties will be able to transform their interaction.

3) The goal of mediation which is to transform the quality of the parties’

interaction from destructive to constructive

4) The mediator’s micro-focus at the table

5) The mediator’s party-centered and non-directive approach

During the mediation process, a mediator works with parties in conflict to help

them change the quality of their interaction from negative and destructive to

positive and constructive, by supporting party efforts at empowerment (gaining

clarity and making decisions) and recognition (taking the perspective of the other

party). Another unique feature of transformative mediation is that the process can

transform the way disputants understand themselves and others by allowing for

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meaningful discussion and new understandings of others’ views to the situation

and the realization that they can directly handle future disputes of this nature.

The promise mediation offers for transforming conflict interaction is real, not

because mediators can bring expert knowledge and wisdom to bear, or give advice

about how to solve the problems and difficulties the parties face. The promise is

read because skilled (and wise) mediators can support the parties’ own work,

create a space for that work to go on, and, most importantly, stay out of the

parties’ way.

Transformative mediators will allow and trust the parties to find their own way

through the conflict, and more importantly, find themselves and each other,

discovering and revealing the strength and compassion within themselves.

Pepperdine Dispute Resolution Law Journal, Changing the Quality of Conflict Interaction: The Principles and Practice of

Transformative Mediation. Bush, Pope (2002).

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THE PRINCIPLES OF TRANSFORMATIVE

MEDIATION

The premises or beliefs that underlie transformative mediation are expressed, in the

context of mediation, through a mediator’s attitudes and actions as he or she

facilitates the parties’ conversation. If the mediator believes in these premises and

uses them to guide his or her behavior during the mediation, they become

principles of the practice of transformative mediation and result in a mediator’s

ability to:

Be comfortable with conflict, including strong emotion and the negative pattern

of interaction between parties.

Respect parties’ choices, including choices about participation in mediation,

even if they are choices the mediator would not personally make in a similar

situation.

Be comfortable with a limited understanding of the parties’ conflict.

Respect the parties, even if their actions, appearance, language, and attitudes

seem completely different from those of the mediator.

Be patient with the parties and the process of their interaction.

Focus on the moment-by-moment events in the parties’ interaction.

Attend to empowerment and recognition opportunities.

Choose interventions (and non-interventions) based upon opportunities for

party empowerment and recognition.

Relinquish problem solving and control of the process.

Used with permission from the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation. Inc.

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TRANSFORMATIVE MEDIATION’S PREMISES ABOUT

PEOPLE AND THEIR CAPABILITIES

1. A person’s reality is unique to that person and based upon

his/her life experiences

2. People have inherent needs both for advancement of self

and connection with others.

3. People are capable of making decisions for themselves.

4. People are capable of looking beyond themselves.

What are situations that challenge these premises?

How might your belief in these premises influence your actions as a

mediator?

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HALLMARKS: USER FRIENDLY GUIDE TO THE

PRINCIPLES

Each of the ten hallmarks describe, in part, what the principles of a transformative

mediator "look like", and why it is important to carry these attitudes and beliefs into

practice.

1) "The Opening Statement says it All": Describing the mediator's role and

objectives in terms based on Empowerment and Recognition.

2) "It's Ultimately the Parties' Choice": Leaving the responsibility for outcome

with the parties.

3) "The Parties know Best": Consciously refusing to be judgmental about the

parties' views and decisions.

4) "The Parties have what it Takes": Taking an optimistic view of parties'

competence and motives.

5) "There are Facts in the Feelings": Allowing and being responsive to parties'

expression of emotions.

6) "Clarity emerges from Confusion": Allowing for and exploring parties'

uncertainty.

7) "The Action is in the Room": Remaining focused on the here and now of the

conflict interaction.

8) "Discussing the Past has Value to the Present": Being responsive to parties'

statements about past events.

9) "Conflict Can Be a Long-Term Affair": Viewing an intervention as one

point in a larger sequence of conflict interaction.

10) "Small Steps Count": Feeling a sense of success when Empowerment and

Recognition occur, even in small degrees.

Folger, J.P. & Bush, R.A.B. (1996). Transformative mediation and third party intervention: Ten hallmarks of a

transformative approach to practice. Mediation Quarterly, 13(4) 263-27

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DEVELOPING A TRANSFORMATIVE FRAMEWORK

“Purpose Drives Practice”

Attend: Identifying Transformative Opportunities

Focus on the here and now of the conflict interaction

Listen and respond to individual comments/contributions parties are making.

Recognize Opportunities for Empowerment and Recognition

Focus on any comment parties make, which offers an opportunity to work

towards empowerment or recognition.

Be mindful of common signpost events that often mark opportunities for

empowerment or recognition at predictable phases of a mediation.

Monitor: Avoid Focusing Only on the Problem

After identifying opportunities for empowerment or recognition, a mediator needs

to check any instincts that could undermine a transformative response.

Avoid shaping parties’ comments/contributions into one solvable problem

Avoid focusing exclusively on tangible issues

Avoid directing the parties toward a settlement

Respond: Enacting a Transformative Response

Respond to opportunities with comments that encourage or allow disputants to:

Gain clarity and make self-determined choices.

Consider, acknowledge, or respond to the situation of the other party.

Responding to opportunities for empowerment and recognition entails:

1. Awareness: Acknowledging the opportunity by interjecting at the time the

mediator sees the opening for exploring empowerment or recognition

2. Inviting Elaboration: Ask parties to expand on the statement just made. If it is an

opportunity for recognition, what is the point that the party wants to have

recognized by the other? If it is an opportunity for empowerment, what is the

source of confusion, uncertainty, or lack of clarity? Responding to the

elaboration in ways that encourage recognition or empowerment can help the

parties begin to do this on their own during the mediation.

Folger, J.P. (1996). A Transformative approach to mediation: Skills for practice. Presentation at the University of

North Dakota, Grand Forks, ND.

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“CONFLICT TRANSFORMATION”

(CHANGING CONFLICT INTERACTION)

Copyright 2001 R.A. Baruch Bush

Used with permission from the Institute for the Study of Conflict Transformation, Inc.

EMPOWERMENT

RECOGNITION

STRONG

RESPONSIVE

WEAK

SELF-ABSORBED

POSITIVE

CONSTRUCTIVE

CONNECTING

HUMANIZING

NEGATIVE

DESTRUCTIVE

ALIENATING

DEMONIZING

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UNCOVERING MISCONCEPTIONS OF

TRANSFORMATIVE PRACTICE (The following segments are taken from Myths and Misconceptions about the Transformative Orientation By

Dorothy J. Della Noce, R. A. Baruch Bush & Joseph P. Folger, Designing Mediation (2001 – ISCT))

Myth #1: Disputes do not get resolved.

Within the transformative framework, conflicts do indeed “get

resolved” - but they get resolved by the parties rather than by the mediator. The mediator assists the parties by maintaining a focus on (1) the process by which

the parties define and achieve resolution, and (2) a broad conception of what

“resolution” can be.

Myth #2: It’s only for cases where the parties “have a relationship.”

Some people assume that transformative mediation is appropriate only in

those cases where the parties have or want to continue a relationship. This

interpretation misunderstands the framework. Within this framework, every

human interaction is a “relationship” - a process of interacting and relating - that

can be conducted in a negative and destructive fashion or in a positive and

constructive fashion. Therefore, in any situation where the quality of the

interaction matters to the parties, and where the quality of the interaction will have

an impact on other dimensions of the outcome (including whether agreement is

reached and the quality of the agreement reached), interventions that help shift the

interaction from negative to positive are of fundamental value. The interaction

between an insurance adjuster and claimant is as vulnerable to destructive or

productive influences as that of two neighbors or a divorcing couple. Conflict is

essentially about gaining clarity about decisions and choices (empowerment)

in light of the experience of the other (recognition) in whatever setting it

occurs.

Myth #3: The mediators don’t do anything.

Mediators from the transformative orientation are not directive.

However, they are proactive. That is, they are actively engaged with the parties in

conversation, listening intently for cues that offer opportunities to work with

empowerment and recognition, highlighting those opportunities for the parties, and

constantly inviting and encouraging the parties to engage in a constructive

dialogue, to consider new information and alternative points of view, to gain

clarity, to deliberate or “think out loud,” and to make decisions for themselves.

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Myth #4: All the mediators do is ask, “How do you feel about that?”

The mediator’s primary task is to “follow the parties:” maintaining a micro-

focus on their moment-to-moment conversation to identify and highlight

opportunities for empowerment and recognition. Probing for further clarification of

feelings or attitudes is just one of many possible responses a mediator might make

in working with the parties, and may be appropriate if the mediator is truly

following the parties vs. digging for deep meaning. Mediators working within

the transformative framework are skilled at reading the unfolding context, a

context that is continuously created as the parties’ interact. Without such

sensitivity to where the parties are, mediators cannot support where the parties

want to head with their conflict.

Myth #5: There’s no structure or order to the process.

The mediator does not impose a highly-structured process upon the parties

when working from the transformative orientation. Imposing process structure has

an (often unacknowledged) influence on the parties’ conflict. However, this does

not mean that the process lacks order and structure. Order and structure emerge

from the conversations of the mediator and the parties, from moment to

moment. The mediator does not have to impose a structure on the parties; parties

are capable of structuring and ordering their conversations as they need to. The

mediator helps the parties determine how they want to structure their interaction by

focusing on empowerment and recognition.

Myth #6: A mediator can combine theoretical frameworks, or shift

strategically between frameworks.

Mediators (and others) sometimes ask whether it is possible to combine the

transformative and problem solving frameworks, to “do both” at the same time, or

to shift strategically from one framework to another in the course of a mediation.

Such combinations and/or strategic shifts are not possible for a number of reasons.

First, the two theoretical frameworks are based upon deeply-held beliefs

about conflict and its resolution that are fundamentally incompatible. That is, one

cannot hold both sets of beliefs and goals at the same time, or shift between them

in a matter of moments.

In addition, the mediator practices that are characteristic of each theoretical

framework are incompatible. For example, a mediator cannot simultaneously

operate with a micro-focus on interaction and a macro-focus on outcome, nor can a

mediator simultaneously support autonomous party decision-making and substitute

the mediator’s judgment for that of the parties.

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One theoretical framework is inevitably favored over another by each

mediator or mediation program, depending upon the goals and values of the

mediator and the program in which the mediator works.

Myth #7: Transformative mediation imposes a set of values on the parties

while an interest-based/problem solving model does not.

The Promise of Mediation clarified that all forms of mediation practice are

based on world views – ways of thinking about what productive conflict is, what

human beings are capable of and what third parties should do as they intervene.

Transformative mediation is based on a set of relational values. Problem solving is

based on a set of values that stem from interest based negotiation approaches to

conflict. These values are clearly different. Because problem solving has been

such a predominant view of conflict, it is often easy to think that this approach to

practice is value-free, not built on any particular world view. This is clearly not

the case. To choose any approach to practice is to choose a set of values. We

inevitably assume that the values we are choosing are the ones that mediation

should be built upon.