… or how we communicate

with one another

In this presentation we will cover the following: Active Listening Skills

Eye contact, posture, and body language Paraphrasing, clarifying, and verifying perceptions Empathy, summarizing, and minimizing distractions

“I” Statements Feel Event Resolution

Following this presentation you will be asked to practice these skills.

Be sure to follow along using your ‘Student Handout.

When you are telling your friend a story, how do you know they are listening?

Active listening skills are those behaviors that tell someone who is talking that you are listening to them.

There are two main categories of active listening skills: Body Position Language

When you are talking to someone, how do you know they are listening to you?

Eye contact is very important for active listening.

Humans communicate a lot with their eyes, therefore if the eyes are wondering it is probably a sign that the mind is not paying attention.

Too much of a good thing: make eye contact but don’t stare!

What is the “closed off” body posture?

Crossed arms indicate that the listener is not receptive to the speaker or the conversation.

Positive body language: listener facing speaker, open posture, relaxed, smiling, and head nodding.

Repeat after me… paraphrasing is the act of restating someone’s words back to them.

Paraphrasing shows you are listening.

Paraphrasing shows your understanding of what the speaker was saying.

So what is paraphrasing?

“Let me get this straight…” This is a common format for a verifying

perceptions sentence. Verifying perceptions is used by a

listener when they are confused by the speaker and they want to make sure they are following the conversation.

It also gives the speaker feedback. What are other ways you have tried to

verify perceptions when listening to your friends?

Clear as mud… Sometimes conversations can get confusing. “So and so did such and such which lead you

know who to say you don’t even want to know what!”

Clarifying sentences can help you, the listener, lay it all out for the speaker to make sure everything is clear.

In normal, clear conversations, clarifying can just make sure that you and the speaker agree.

In conclusion… Summarizing brings the main ideas

into clear focus, and ends a conversation.

Does not bring new ideas out. Someone summarize what we have

learned so far… Don’t get too excited, we still have

some learning to do…

Do you have a friend who is just really bad at listening to you and understanding how you feel?

We would say that they are not very empathetic.

Not ‘pathetic’! Empathetic!! This means that they do not recognize and

connect with your feelings and emotions. So like the kid outside the principal’s office,

you don’t think that anyone is listening. How do you show empathy with your friends?

“Hang on would ya? I’ve got a call…” How many of you have been interrupted by

a friend who wasn’t paying attention to you? How does a situation like this impact you? Minimizing distractions is more than just cell

phones, and making eyes with another classmate while a friend is talking.

It has to do with hearing and respecting the other person.

What distracts you from a conversation? How might you minimize these?

How do you feel when someone picks on you?

You probably started your answer off with, “When I am picked on I feel…”

This is what we call an “I” statement. These statements always begin with “I.” These statements help to convey your

feelings without offending the opposing party. And they really work!

There’s a general formula for “I” statements…

Use the formula in #1 to construct a sentence of your own. It’s easy!1. “I feel _(feeling)_ when you _(event)_ because _(impact on you)_

.”2. “I feel silly when you ____ because ____.”3. “I feel silly when you dress up as a clown because ____.”4. “I feel silly when you dress up as a clown because you trick me

with your electric hand thingy.”

Ok now… finally… try summarizing! What have we learned so far! We are now going to partner up to

practice these skills.