influencing others: if i only had the power… session 4106 presented by doug d. whittle, partner...
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Influencing Others:If I Only Had the Power…Session 4106
Presented by Doug D. Whittle, Partner The Diagonal Group, LLC
Areas we will cover
Strategies for overcoming resistance
Concepts of influencing
The art of selling
Challenges of influencing
Truths• There is no silver bullet
• One size does not fit all
• Persuasion, influence & negotiation…
both a skill and an art
• Practice makes perfect
• You can not control others
• You can control yourself
• You accept responsibility for your actions,
reactions, decisions, and emotions
• You share responsibility for the success of
your team
You must agree
Power?
Authority?
Positional Power
8. Lead & Make It Happen
7. Find Solutions
6. “Own It”
5. Acknowledge Reality
4. Wait & Hope
3. “I can’t” - Excuses
2. Blame Others
1. Unaware / Unconscious
powerless
POWERFUL
Whenyou
thinkyou are
powerful,you are.
Whenothersthinkyou arepowerful,you are.
If you always dowhat you’ve always done,
you will always getwhat you’ve always got.
Stakeholder• Anyone with a vested interest in the
outcome of your mission & initiatives• Interest groups to whom your organization
is accountable
You have more than one!
Stakeholder questions
Level of support? Low, Medium, High?
Your needs? What do you want?
Their needs?What do they want?How can they block?What can you offer?
Your strategy?How can you enhance this stakeholder’s support?
IndividualStakeholde
r
Positioning
IF…
• You have the expertise.
• Others need your help.
• They don’t necessarily know they need your help.
• You want to get something done for the good of your organization but aren’t necessarily in charge of the resources to do it…
Salesperson
40% Close
30% Present
20% Qualify
10% Trust Trust 40%
Qualify 30%
Present 20%
Close10%
Two models of selling
it is!whatIt is
Reality
Top salesperson
QQ uaualitilitieses
6
Knowledge
SUCCESS
Attitudes
Skills
Behaviors
Before thesale begins
Identifyingneeds
Proposing
Dealing withresistance
Gainingcommitment
Follow-up
Sell unto others as you
would be sold unto.
XTTHHEEYY
Color quadrantsstructured
detailed
realistic
challenging
bold
big
safe
thoughtful
value-based
fantasticpassionate
beyond yourwildest dreams
Demonstrated behaviorsquestioningdeliberatecautiousprecise
formal
strong-willedcompetitivedemandingdeterminedpurposeful
caringpatientsharingrelaxedencouraging
sociabledynamic
persuasiveenthusiastic
demonstrative
…on a bad daysuspiciousindecisivereservedstuffycold
overbearingaggressivecontrollingintolerant
driving
blanddocilereliantstubbornplodding
hastyfrantic
excitableindiscreet
flamboyant
Let’s do it
RIGHTLet’s do it
NOW
Let’s do it in a
CARING way
Let’s do it
TOGETHER
cautiousprecisedeliberatequestioningformalanalytical
competitivedemandingdetermined
strong-willedpurposeful
driver
caringencouragingsharingpatientrelaxedamiable
sociabledynamic
demonstrativeenthusiasticpersuasiveexpressive
DOITTO-GETHER
DOIT
WITHCARING
DOIT
RIGHT
DOITNOW
If one does not
understand a person,
one tends to regard
them as a
fool. - CG Jung
be entertaining & stimulating be friendly & sociable be open & flexible
bore me with details ask me to work alone tie me down with routine
Do not
Do
Approaching and Communicating
be well prepared & thorough let me consider the details put things in writing
get too close or hug me be flippant on important issues change my routine without notice
Do not
Do
Approaching and Communicating
be patient & supportive give me time to answer work at my pace ask my opinion
spring last minute surprises push me to make quick decisions take advantage of my good nature
Do not
Do
Approaching and Communicating
be bright, brief and be gone be direct & to the point focus on results
try to take over hesitate or waffle focus on feelings
Do not
Do
Approaching and Communicating
CurrentState
DesiredState
CurrentState
DesiredState
Denial
Resistance Exploration
Commitment
Anger Checking Out
Peopledon’t resist change…
…they resistbeing changed
Edgar Schein
RESISTANCE
I don’tgetit!
Idon’tlikeit!
Idon’tlikeyou!
Reasons for
Not their ideaFear of losing faceToo much too fast
Unmet interest
BarriersOthers
See
Barriers to agreement
RESISTANCE
Helping others through
• Involve the other side– Ask for and build on their
ideas
• Ask for constructive criticism– How might we...?
• Offer choices and alternatives
Not my Idea!
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Walk in their shoes
– Would I agree to this if I were them?
– Why? Why not?
• Review basic human needs– Look for intangible motivations
that drive their behavior
• Look for low cost, high benefit trades
• If-then bargains
Unmet interests
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Help them back away
without backing down
• Show how circumstances
have changed
• Ask for third-party
recommendation
• Provide testimonials
• Share credit
• Give them the limelight
Fear oflosing face
RESISTANCE
Helping others through• Go slow to go fast• Pilot project?• Don’t ask for final
commitment until the end
• Don’t rush to the finish
*Caution: verbal
contracts
Too much,too fast
Overcoming resistanceFear
Confusion
Frustration
Resignation
Insurmountable
Over Committing
Resistance to Change
Unrealistic Expectations
Options!
Vision!
Collaboration!
Pride!
Milestones!
Client-Focused!
Ownership!
Accountability!
High
Medium
Low
HighMediumLow
Commitment
Imp
act
InvolveInvolve InvolveInvolve
SeekAdviceSeek
AdviceSeek
AdviceSeek
Advice
Stakeholder Impact
Hands-onHands-on
InvolveInvolve
InformInform SeekAdviceSeek
Advice InvolveInvolve
Options
Avoid a single solution
Generate new possibilities
Invent first, evaluate later
Best
Alternative
To a
Negotiated
Agreement
BATNA guidelines• Deploy your BATNA without provoking
• Use the minimum power necessary
• Try building a coalition
• Try to figure out their possible BATNA’s in advance so you can prepare
Options
LiveWith
ContentWith
AspireTo
Daniele Vare, Italian diplomat
Diplomacyis the art
of letting someone else
have your way.
?What is your culture?
?What are your politics?
?Do you take risks?
Risks exist
• What’s the risk of acting?– What do you risk when you speak out on an
issue in your organization?
• What’s the risk of NOT acting?– What are you putting on the line that you
might lose?
The policy ofbeing
too cautiousis the greatest risk of all.”
-Jawaharlal Nehru
At any moment…
Sponsor…commitment
Manager…exploration
Front Line…denial/resistance
“What’s the holdup?”
“It might work if…”
“No Way!”
TIME
At any moment…
TIME
At any moment…
TIME
?How do you define success?
Know your barriers
• What is the #1 barrier you face?
• Is it self-imposed?
• What is it… person, business, process,
organizational, technology, etc.?
• Who knows about it?
• Do you already know the solution?
• What are the other barriers in your path?
Address
behaviors
not
personalities
Fire
Aim
Ready
Fire
Aim
Ready
Speak when you are angry…
and you will make
the best speech
you will
ever regret.Ambrose Bierce
People followby example
…Know theshadow YOU cast!
Stop
Continue
Start
“Nothing worthwhile can be accomplished
without determination…
Good ideasare not adopted automatically.
They must be driven into practicewith courageous patience.
Doug D. Whittle, [email protected]
515.987.8989
For more informationThe Diagonal Group, LLC
www.theDIAGONALgroup.com
Thank you for attending!Please remember to complete and return your evaluation form following this session.
Session Code: 4106