important point: goals

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Marsha Shandur

YesYesMarsha.com

Yes Yes Marsha

© Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5

Howtoremembernames,andotherfactsaboutnewpeople

1. Askthem,“Sorry,whatwasyourname,again?”

2. Createastrongvisualimage:(a)WhodoIknowwiththesamename?(b)Whatelsedoestheirnamesoundlike?

3.Askavacuousquestion,like:- howdidyougethere?- howdoyouknowX?

4. Usetheirnameatleastonce

5. Revise

©Marsha Sh andu r fo rYes Yes Marsha, 2 0 1 5

Whythisisgreat

1. Itmakesyoulook(andfeel)likeawinner

1. Itmakesfurther contact easier(becauseyouremember who yousaidtowhom)

3.It’s charm bySTEALTH


Networkingisjust:

Talkingtopeoplethatyoulikeaboutthingsyou’rebothinterestedin

• Actuallytalk topeopleotherthan yourmates

• Followupoveremail

• Addvalue– longbeforeyouask foranything

©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015

IMPORTANTPOINT:

Networking isaLongTermRelationship…

…nota onenightstand©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

GOALSWhyare youat thisevent?

General networking? Or specificpeople?

Have aconversation that lastsat least threesentences each, withat least three people

Also: ifby9pm I’mnothaving fun, I’mallowed togo


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Everyone isscared.

“Brave”people aretoo.

Theonlydifferencebetweenyouandthem is….“brave”people justsuckitup.


MagicSentence tohelpyouwhenyou’renervous

atanevent:Nooneisthinkingaboutme.

Everyone’s thinkingabout themselves,justlikeIamrightnow


FightorFlight• When you’renervous, yourbody thinksa sabretooth tiger ischarging towards you

(itdoesn’t knowthedifference betweenyourcurrent situationand the tiger one)

• Itpumpsthe bloodaway fromyourbrain, andintoyour limbs, soyoucan fight itor runaway

• Tocombat this,putyourhandonyourheart andtake fivedeep breaths. Or– seenext slide!


AMYCUDDYTEDTALK

• Yourbody language canchangeyourbrainchemistry• Spend twominutes in apower pose(armsintheair;hands onhips andshoulders square;oranything that makesyouphysically BIG)• Fakeituntil youBECOMEit!

Trickstomakemeetingpeopleeasier

1. Getthereearly

2. AnyQUEUEisyourfriend- pass aplate

3. Benearthefood/coffeetable


SMILE•Makesyoumorerelaxed

•Makesyoumoreapproachable

•MakesyouHAPPIER!©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

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Whyeyecontact isimportant

• Shows you’re open tochatting

• Makes people feelAMAZING

• Keeps you focused©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

Whenyou’reatanetworkingevent/conference/somewhereyou’reEXPECTEDtomeetyounewpeople,THISisanokopeningsentence:

Hi,I’m[name]

What’syourname?©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

Another good opener:

Givesomeoneacompliment

onsomething they’re wearing, oraquestiontheyaskedoraspeech theygave.

Compliment isNOTembarrassment!


RESEARCH• Speakers

• Otherattendees

(5mins perperson;30minutes =6people)

• Venue

• Local area(facts,good bars/restaurants)

• Moreideas?©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

WHOMTOAPPROACHAskyourself: “Do theyhavetodramaticallychange theirphysicalityinorder toincludeme?”

Ifnot – goahead!

Remember – sometimes peoplewillgathertogetherforsafetyinnumbers!

To joinagroup: Startwitheyecontactandlistening, thenaskquestions, then youcan offer youropinion


SELLINGYOURSELFDon’tdoit!

Don’tjusttalkabouthowgreatyouare– instead,maketheconversationaboutTHEM


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QUESTIONS• Great conversation starters

• Mean youdon’thave todomuch talking

• Make people feelamazing

• Giveyou factsabout someone,

whichcanhelpyou introduce them toothers


Howtoaskquestions…andhownot to

• Listen totheanswer!

• Askopen-ended questions (vs yes/no)

• Askagoodfollow upquestionGood =leadstoapositive response

Eg – “Whatdoyoulikemostaboutit?”


Howtoaskquestions…andhownot to

• Rather than “Why”try“How” or“What”

e.g.“Whydidyouleaveyourprevious job?”

è “Howdid youendup workinginthis field?”


Howtoanswer,“Whatdoyoudo?”Questionstoaskyourself

(1) Whatisyourgoalwhenansweringthis?

(2) Sometimes,it’soktobendthetruth

(3) WhatdoyouDO?

(4) Whatproblemdoyousolve?

“Ihelp[demographic] [achievegoal]by[howyouhelpthem

dothis]”

(5)WHYdoyoudowhatyoudo?

(6) STORY(realortheoretical)©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

Marsha’s Favourite Question:

“How’s yourweekbeen?”

“Whatwasonething youenjoyed?”


• Youcanusuallygetaprettygoodideaofwhatsomeone does– without havingtoask,

“Whatdoyoudo?”

• Peoplecananswerwithasmuchorlittledepthas theylike

• Creates asense ofINTIMACY


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• Itgetspeopletalkingaboutsomethingthey’rePASSIONATEabout

è makesthemfeelgreat(èmakesthemfeelgreat

aboutyou)

èMOREFUNFORYOU


• Morelikelytolandoncommontouchpoints

• YoucangatherinformationtoADDVALUE


Howtogetoutofanawkwardconversation

YesYesMarsha.com/awkward

• Lookthemsquare intheeyes,smilewarmly, andsay,

“Itwaslovely tomeetyou”


Thecornerstoneof greatnetworking:

THE “NICE TOMEET YOU” EMAIL

Longterm relationship, NOTaonenightstand!

MeansyouDON’T havetobuild theentirerelationship inthefirstmeeting.


BASIC“NicetoMeetYou”templateDear [name],

Itwaslovelytomeetyouat[event].[Referencetoconversation.Ifnone,reference totheevent].

[ADDVALUE ifyoufeelmovedto]

Hopeyouhadagreattimefortherestofthe[event/weekend/day],

[Yourname][Youremailaddress][Yourphonenumber][Yourwebsite/LinkedInpage– Ifyouhaveone]


BreakingItDown:

Dear[name],

Itwaslovelytomeetyouat[event].[Referencetoconversation. Ifnone, reference tothe event].Putyourself incontext.MakeiteasyforTHEM.


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BreakingItDown:

[ADDVALUEifyoufeelmovedto]

Ifyoudo,tells them:- Iamahelpful person- Iamareliable person- Iaminthe knowPLUS- makesthemfeelmovedtoreciprocate


BreakingItDown:

[ADDVALUEifyoufeelmovedto]

Waystoaddvalue:• Thankthemforsomething• Sendthemanarticle they’ll findinteresting• Offeranintro tosomeone (NEVER unsolicited)


BreakingItDown:

Hope youhadagreattime attherest oftheconference,

Endtheemail onapositive note.ThisisSMILINGthrough youremail.


BreakingItDown:

[Your name][Your emailaddress][Your phone number][Your website/LinkedIn page

- IFIT’SUPTODATE]

- MakeitEASYforthemtocontact you©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

SUBJECTLINES

Subject:[factualrelevance]/[mystery]


FACTUALRELEVANCE

• The event youmetthemat

• The person youhave incommon

• The thingyou’reemailing themto

praise/add valuearound


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MYSTERY

Anything thatwill compel them toopen theemail

- as longasit’s loosely tied to theemail content.

• Reference toyourconversation with them• Reference tothe mutual friend• Howthe thingyou’re praising themonmade youfeel


“EVERYBODYloves

• alittlefun• alittlecuriosity• alittlesuspense

Thosearehumantriggers thatwehaveinourminds.

Mostofusleadprettymundanelivesandwehavealittlestressfromtimetotime. Soifanythingcomesinthat'sremotelybrightordifferentorinteresting…

…We Pay Attention!

Remember:allpeoplearePEOPLE!”

- MarieForleo,www.marieforleo.com©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

SUBJECTLINES

Subject: [factual relevance]/[mystery]

Examples:

NetworkingWorkshop/Curtains

Anna’scolleague/floatingonabedofjoy

Star article/yougavemeawholenewattitudetopublicgardendesign


Howtofindemailaddresses,withouttheirbusinesscard

• Google

• Checktwitter, facebook,LinkedIn bio’s(ifpublic)

• [email protected]; [email protected]

• Calltheir workplace’s reception andask


Keepyourselfintheirmind.

“It’s notwhat youknow, it’s who youknow”

RATHER

“It’s notwho youknow, it’s whohasyournameinthefront oftheir brain atanyonetime”


Howdoyoudothis?• Ifit’s someone important, put regular(every1-2months)

reminders toemail themin yourdiary.

• When thetime comes, find awaytoADDVALUEtothem.

• Eg anarticle;praise – anyofthewayswe’vediscussed.

• Doitasa“replyall”tothe firstemailyousent – orasareplytothelastemailtheysentyou – thenchange thesubject linetobe relevanttothisnewemail.


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Howwouldthatlook?HiJohn,

Isawthearticleyoupostedonsuchandsuchwebsite.com.Reallylovedyourtakeonthelatestbudget.I’mgoingtostartkeepingaclosereyeonmyrent!

[youcould addanupdatehere– “sincewelastspoke,I/mydepartmenthasbeen…”].

Hopeyou’rewell,

Andy


Maybe they’ll respond, maybe they won’t.

Ifyouhaven’t asked foranything, youdon’tneed aresponse – you’re justreminding them ofyourexistence.

Then, when youDOwant toask themforsomething, youwill be

(a) memorable(b) seenas someone whohasalready added value

tothem


Non-emailMethodsofAddingValueSocial Network sites:

Like. Comment. Share. ENGAGE.• Facebook – ifhavepublicpage,orcompanypage,orpublic

posts.

• LinkedIn – nowworksthesameasFacebookintermsofthesethings.

PLUSyoucanaddpeople youbarely/don’t know onLinkedIn, andnoonethinks it’s creepy.

• Twitter.Don’tpress“Retweet”buttonRetype,andADDVALUE.Ideallytothem.

• Periscope. Share,comment,heart.


BLOGS(including podcasts)

Whensomeone comments onyourblog, it feelslikearayofsunshine justentered yourheart.

Bespecific- notjust“greatblog!”(thoughthat’sbetterthannothing)


GettingCupsOfCoffeeWithPeople• You might learn something

• They can have agutreaction toyou

• They’ll remember you better

• They’ll likeyoumore (Festinger,1950)

• They need to justifywhythey spent this 20minutes oftheir precious timewith you

è more likelyto beinspired to help you

• People LIKE to help other people!©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

Coffee/SkypeEmailDear [name],

Itwas lovely tomeet youat [event]. [Reference toconversation. Ifnone, reference totheevent].

Youcanalsousethis template forcontacting peopleyouhaven’t metbefore. Include:

• whosuggested youemail them• what itisyou’re writing tothem about


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BreakingItDown:

[ADDVALUE,ideallyhavingresearched themsomemore]

You’re askingforsomething fromthem-sogoaboveandbeyond


BreakingItDown:

Do you have20minutes free sometime in thenext fewweeks,- Why 20? Shortbut realistic!when I could buy youacoffee- ALWAYSoffer topayand askyou about [specific topic orquestion]?- NEVER say “pick your brains”- Specific question: gives them the chance todowngrade

toaphone call,or even email response.


BreakingItDown:

Iappreciate that you’reabusyperson, soI’llgladlymeetwhenandwhere ismostconvenientforyou.Respectful without beingoverlyapologetic.Willmakeyoustandout.

How’s Thursdayafter6orFridaybefore12?Wide/Narrow technique


BreakingItDown:

Ifyouhavetwomins tohit replyandletmeknow, thatwould befantastic.

Allthebest,

See:yesyesmarsha.com/mindcontrol


Ifnoresponse - nudgingemails• Re-iterate: ifsendingasecondemail:

doitasa“replyall”tothefirstemailyousent– orasareplytothelastemailtheysentyou– thenchangethesubjectlinetoberelevanttothis newemail.

• Ifyougetnoresponse– youcanproduptoFIVEtimes.– BUTnomore often thanevery10-14days.– Always do itasareply-all tothe firstmessage, thenkeep itbrief.

HiAndy,

Justwonderingwhetheryou’vehadamomenttolookatthebelow.

Thanksandallthebest!

Alex ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015

IfyouDOhaveacupofteawithsomeone– IMPORTANTRULES:

• RESEARCH THEM- better,deeperquestions- notwastingtheirtime–oryours– askingwhat

you canlearnfromGoogle- acceleratesfamiliarity

• DON’T belate,or messthem around whenbooking thetime

• Switch yourphone ontosilent©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

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IfyouDOhaveacupofteawithsomeone– IMPORTANTRULES:

• Tryandmention anarticle/film/book, thatyoucanthensend themthelinkto

- excuseforfollowup- showsreliabilityè buildstrust- positionsyouagainassomeonewho

ADDSVALUE

• AFTERWARDS:THANKTHEM©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

ÜBER-CLASSYMOVE:

Sendahand-written thankyounote

ALSOsendanemail ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,2015

TwoMoreVeryImportantPoints1.Network with EACHOTHER

Don’tassumethat because someone isn’t senior toyou, they’re notagoodperson tohave inyournetwork

- younever knowwho’s friendswith whom- younever knowwhere someone will endup- you’re MUCHmore likely toget helpandfavours fromsomeone whocanmore easilyremember the positionyou’re in!


Ifyou’regood atwhat youdo, andnice:

It’s yourRESPONSIBILITYtonetwork!

Sothat capableYOUgetsthejob, insteadofsomeone whoisn’t.


Networkingisn’tbeinglikethisguy


Talkingtopeople thatyoulikeaboutthingsyou’rebothinterested in• Actuallytalk topeopleotherthan yourmates

• Followupoveremail

• Addvalue– longbeforeyouask foranything ©MarshaShandurforYes Yes Marsha,

2015

important point: goals

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