im not good at talking but i do it a lot
DESCRIPTION
ITS NOT A BOOK ITS A CREATIVE OUTLETTRANSCRIPT
I’ve re-written this intro like 10 times but fuck itGet ready and put your seat belt on
We’re going for a ride
This online publication (book?) is a collection of my past experiences over the past few months including tweets, photographs, poems, and whatever else I threw in here.
So yah
Enjoy
Dicks is Love, Dicks is Life
HappySad
Recently, i noticed this eventEveryone around me seems to be contentGoing on dates or good gradesNew schools and getting paidAnd there is meSitting alone with netflix on tvBut im not upsetThis is what i've spent my life trying to getSeeIts not about personal gainI just want to make people happy, no matter the painSo who cares if im not really your best friend or first choiceIll be waiting when you get dumped by your dream boyOr when she cheats on youIll come around when you feel blueGive you a hug tell you i careShow you my smile so you know i'll be thereAnd when youre off happy, heart filled with gleeI dont expect you to think about meBecause youve got much better things to doRather than worry about you know whoAnd i just wanna be clearIm not being cynical this is honestly sincereMy goal is to make you all happyMake you strong enough to get on without meAnd when you trip, when you fallIll be there to listen to it allYou could say its sad how i liveAnd wow who would i kidBut seeing people i care about smileWill keep me goin, for a long while
I’ve always thought those lights spelled out “love”Its kinda ironic or somethin
FINALLY. Aka why I hate you, like you, and all the things I never said
Well you did itMaybe this was always your goalYou took your kiss like a gun to my headand darling, I hope you leave a holeThis might hurt your feelings, it might make your crybut what drove you to do this, honestly whyI’ll be straightI’ve known most of my life that it’s YOU I’ve wanted to datebut you’ll drag me along a long and leave me at the gateSo guess whatI’m done
I say that every time but I never meant it not oneWish your knew what you did to mecreated a fucking dependencyI’ll hang onto your every wordLike the last pill in a bottle it’s absurdYou’ve always dodged this conversation so I’ll go and say it
You know I’ll always like you and you hate itDon’t waste time tryinna debate itTake a look at yourselfCause I grew up in the land of Chief Sealthmeaning you were my sunshine breaking through the cloudsthese words might be quiet on paperBut in your head, I hope they’re loud
Cuase that what you are in mineand I hate that I think your gorgeouscuase I hate you but I’ll give you every last second of my time
I tried to gently close this doorBut I’ll slam it this time for sureIt’s your turn to go out on a limbI’m sorry that I’ll never live up to him
So now it’s your turn to beginJust rememberYou’ll always be my favorite till the end
Hey mom, all my friends jumped off a cliff and I didn’t. I hope you’re proud or somethin
Paper Kuts
Sometimes when I'm bored
I like to pick apart my flaws
Like they were peter piper's pickled peppers
As i stand tall on a mountain of paper balls and beers cans
Cause thats where my confidence is at
If i could, id un-crinkle the cans into catapults and turn the paper into planes
Then in a fort of pillows and anxiety i'd fight away the demons in my brain
But i cant do that
I cant take a stand on a mountain of balled up hope and sad beer cans
So i pick at my demons like a scab
Starting from the edge and peeling up
I know it hurts i know it can
And the scars just add to my collection
So i'll take a stand on a mountain of crushed paper and hollow beer cans
Cause its about time i got turned in the right direction
Ill take my cans and paper and tape em into layers from my head to my gut
Like some armor against my anxiety
So when they finally come to pick me apart
Their fingers will get covered in paper cuts
See windmills, Go fast
ONE
One plus one equals two
But that was never the case when it came to you
Cause there was always a negative later on in the equation
So no matter what i end up alone in every situation
I guess I wasnt smart enough to do the math
Cause i would have figured out that i was going down a very short path
And this path ended in a fork with 2 directions
And I fucked up like a victim of natural selection
So
Two plus two equals four
Like the two arms i held you with before i went out the door
I didnt know it was the last time
Thinking so for ahead I got lost in my mind
But you said youre happy, so i can't complain
Because thats what matters most to me, call it insane
I was too nice for my own good
And ive been told that things arent how they should
And thats what you said too
In a fuckin text message, those faithful words colored in blue
Im the best choice but im not your choice
So i know youll be out with other boys
And ill be here on my ass
Adding one plus one
Just trying to do the math
For some reason, I keep befriending kids on the internet
122streetwear.com
Special
They said i was special
Like front row of class never got an F or a bad note
Little nerdy 4th grader who liked to gloat
They said i was special
Like drew little pictures on every test
Cause i was done 30 minutes before the rest
They said i was special
So i was confused when they pulled me out of class
Told me with my handwriting i'd never pass
Then came the visits to doctors with dark offices and long names
Tests on tests they said to take at my own pace
Looking back they were lying to my face
Everyone knew something was wrong
And i was the butt end of this joke getting dragged along
So yeah
Maybe i can't write, maybe i get overwhelmed and maybe i can't be alone at night
But god damnit im special
I've made it this far with a few trophies on my shelf
And all these lies where never in the plan
I just wanna be genuine with who am
So maybe My brain is just a bit off
But honestly,
pretending otherwise isnt worth the cost
Sometimes I tweet things instead of saying themSometimes I say things instead of tweeting them
It happens
Someone take away my texting privileges
This has been said before, but I would be nothing without my friends So shoutout to ya’llA few people I’d like to mention specifically but in no specific order:
Cameron LaniAlexKyleBrittaJackCameronChloErinJoshBased GodRubyJennaBrendanMaddyJustinArthur
And that is just a few, I could probably fill up an entire book with the names of people who have helped me grow and shown me support.
Thanks for putting up with me
*I know the name Cameron is listed twice
Im not an alcoholic I just really enjoy beer and drinking with my friends and 40s
Im lactose intolerant but like I love pizza, milkshakes, and ice cream do you see my struggle here
This isnt even a book its a zine but imso lazy that i dont correct people and
let them call it a book but its not
Honestly all those "Bush did 9/11" jokes are hilarious to me
Fuck racists, homophobes, transphobic people, and my high school principal who is all three
I got a 2000 on my SATs i swear im smart
One time my school tried to suspend me for wearing a banana suit
These words sound better in person but i cant make a book
out of videos
Jet fuel can't melt steel beems
Forreal tho it truly is skate or die like you have two choices so pick
The struggle is having a vision in your head and being unable to share that vision
Closing thoughts
My growth game is so strong I should be reintroducing myself to people every 6 months because I’ve changed that much
…and the moral of the story is
If you find something that truly makes you happy
do it.
Courtesy of 122 Street Wear x Dylan PiercePrint a copy, print 100 copies, tell a friend, tell a homie
All photography and writing are originalSorry this was so lame
*
*photo cred to Lani