I Saw Love Today Page 1

I Saw Love Today

By Troy Kechely

Copyright 2009

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Mary’s hands tightened as the pavement before her disappeared under a sheet of white mist from the snow

blowing across the interstate. She felt her heart beat a bit faster as she kept the vehicle on the road even though she

couldn’t see the road.

“You know I really hate this trip.” She looked over briefly at her passenger and then looked back to the road.

The old Rottweiler-Malamute mix barely looked at her as he lay with his head on the counsel between the two front

seats. The journey had been fine from Bozeman to Billings but as they headed south towards Sheridan the weather got

worse as did the roads. The blowing snow cleared off and the pavement was visible again allowing Mary to relax if only

a little. She looked back over at Griz.

“So what do you think Griz, does this trip suck or what?” Griz moved his

head to look up at Mary with his deep brown eyes. The tan spots above them

moved like eyebrows giving Griz even more personality. Looking back forward

he started panting. “Too warm for you? Okay, I will turn down the heat.” Mary

turned the temperature setting down another notch and was very glad she wore

a sweater under her coat like her son recommended. Being part Malamute Griz’

favorite temperature was about 20 degrees so often times the car was almost as

cold inside as it was outside so Griz would be comfortable. Zipping up her coat

she smiled in knowing Griz was more comfortable. “I can’t believe the things I

do for you, though it is nice to have a road trip buddy.” Griz just kept panting

though more out of enjoyment of the colder air coming from the dash board vents than anything else. The road signs

showed the options ahead.

“Griz, you want to go to Gillette or Buffalo? Hmmmm? Well come on we got to decide. I guess we will keep

heading to Casper. There isn’t much in Gillette, trust me, I have been there.” Again Griz did little more than pant. Mary

smiled realizing she was having a conversation with a dog but really didn’t care. Griz, though belonging to her son, was

“grammas’ boy” as she called him so when she decided to go down to Casper to visit her mother in the nursing home it

was an easy decision to ask to take Griz along. She tried to make the seven hour trip down to Casper at least four times

a year but it was difficult with work and weather issues. Her mother had been in the nursing home for ten years now.

Being in her 90’s and blind the visits have gotten more and more difficult to make. More so because Mary’s mom was

less and less there mentally. Lately it seemed to have gotten worse, to the point where normal conversation was

impossible. Still she needed to go down, it was after all her mom.

After several more hours and a few white knuckle moments they arrived in Casper. Finding the motel Mary got

settled in and after feeding Griz and grabbing dinner herself she decided to head out to the nursing home before all the

residents went to bed for the night. Griz was not overly excited to get into the car one more time after spending most of

the day in it. Being 11 years old he struggled getting in and out to the point where Mary’s son had gotten him a ramp to

use. With falling snow Mary opened up the back of the car, unfolded the ramp and then waited patiently for Griz to

decide on whether or not to go up it. Finally, with very slow and deliberate steps, Griz made his way up the ramp and

into the car.

“Take your time Griz.” Mary laughed. Griz was not known for being the fastest dog on the planet. His knick

names being ‘boat anchor’ and ‘mobile speed bump’ after all. Still she didn’t rush him. If anything Griz helped her

realize that life was too short to rush and often times it was good to just slow down a bit. The drive over was short but

slow given all the traffic, people rushing about to do their last minute Christmas shopping. Mary had brought a few gifts

for her mom. Some clothes and such though she knew that her mom would not even know what they were or who

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brought them. Arriving at the nursing home the process of using the ramp was reversed and soon Griz was sniffing

around the trees that surrounded the entrance.

“Griz, come here buddy, you need to be on leash in there.” Griz kept sniffing, his selective hearing becoming

more and more selective with age. Locking the car up Mary walked over and connected Griz to the leash. She knew he

didn’t need it but still she wanted to be safe. Her son worked with dogs constantly doing training and rescue so she was

used to being around all types. Often he would get in the really difficult ones as he seemed to enjoy them more but

Griz was one that bucked the trend. Being a rescue himself he had been found wandering the streets of Bozeman as a

puppy. Her son took him in and has had him almost 11 years. The last five Mary had been living in the same town and

had grown rather attached to Griz and aware that he was about as mellow as they come. It was Mary that taught him

to ‘speak’ to ask for treats. Something her son was rather put out by. She kept telling him that all she did was give Griz

his voice. Her son’s response was that now Griz would not shut up. It was true. Griz now was very talkative if he felt

something needed to be said, which was most of the time. Walking through the doors the attendant looked at Mary and

smiled.

“Hi, I am Mary and I am here to see my mom Virginia. Oh and I did bring a dog for her to see if that is okay?”

The attendant stood up smiling and looked over the counter. Normally people brought in dogs, almost always of the

smaller variety.

“Oh my, he is a big one!” Griz looked up and let out a low howl to say hi.

“Well he is only 114 pounds.” Mary said with a smile.

“Wintering well I see. I don’t see it as a problem. I am sure the others will be happy to see a dog. All the

residents are in the TV room so go right on in. Turn right at the hall and you can’t miss it.” After thanking her, Mary

headed off into the facility. It wasn’t as though she needed directions as she had been there dozens of times but it

wasn’t worth pointing that out to the lady.

Griz started panting as they turned into the hallway, the temperature of the place much warmer than a normal

home to make the elderly residents more comfortable. The hallway was decorated with lights and other Christmas

themed items. She didn’t make it more than 10 feet down the hall before the first resident called out asking if they

could pet her dog. Mary was a little hesitant about it as she trusted Griz but knew that he was still a dog and could react

to things in a bad way. The man was in a wheel chair and was pushing himself along the hallway back to his room. He

stopped and Mary let Griz walk up.

“What a beautiful dog he is!” The man’s hand shook slightly as he petted Griz’ massive head. Mary was polite

but told him that she needed to go see her mom and the man understood. He wished Mary and Griz a Merry Christmas

and continued on his way. Entering the TV room she looked around for her mom. Not seeing her she asked one of the

nurses who had gravitated over to Griz who was now the center of attention in the room.

“Oh, Virginia, yes she is right there.” Mary felt terrible. Her mom was only 20 feet away. In the four months

since her last trip she had changed so much she did not recognize her initially. Mary fought back the tears and guilt of

that moment as the nurse went and got Virginia. She pushed her wheel chair along the hall back to a private room

where Mary could talk with her mom. As they walked down the hall Mary saw a familiar face.

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“Hi David, Merry Christmas!” The man’s face lit up and he approached with open arms to give Mary a hug. A

local pastor, he was a regular at the nursing home tending to the spiritual needs of the residents and staff. Every time

Mary was there she always ran into David.

“Mary! So glad you could make it down. How were the roads?” They talked for a moment but David knew that

Mary was there to see her mom and left her but not before doting on Griz and commenting how large he was. Once

again they were moving down the hall, their pace slowed by Griz, his old hips and shoulder not allowing him to move

very quickly. His panting was more noticeable and Mary wondered if perhaps he would be more comfortable in the car.

Entering the room the nurse tried to get Mary’s moms attention.

“Virginia. Virginia, you have a visitor. Your daughter is here. “ Her voice was loud in the hope that she would

hear her as Virginia was not only blind but mostly deaf.

“Huh, I do?”

“Hi Mom, merry Christmas. I brought you some gifts and a special friend to

visit.” The nurse walked out closing the door giving them some privacy. “Here mom,

give me your hand.” Mary took her moms frail hand and moved it over to Griz’s

head. “It’s a dog mom, his name is Griz.” Mary’s heart leapt as a smile formed on

Virginia’s face as her hand patted Griz. “You keep petting him mom, I got a book to

read you. It is by Lynn Cheney and it is about her growing up in Casper. Would you

like me to read it?” Her moms head was rolled off to the side against a pillow that

kept it semi upright. Her eyes staring vacantly ahead. Yet her hand kept petting Griz.

“That’d be nice honey.” Mary opened up the book and started reading.

Outside in the hall David rounded the corner and stopped. He watched for a few

moments through the windowed wall next to the door. Smiling a bit as Mary sat

reading the book out loud to Virginia who still was petting Griz. Turning the corner

he went on down the hall.

After several minutes Virginia pulled her hand back onto her lap. Out of habit she started picking her nails,

taking her index finger and catching it on the thumbnail of the same hand. Mary could see that the nails needed to be

trimmed and had brought a trimmer along for that purpose. That could wait though, for now she just reached out and

took her moms hand to keep her from picking her nails.

“Mom your hands are cold. Do you need me to turn up the heat?” She

dreaded the idea as Griz had laid down and was panting enough already.

“No I’m fine.”

“Okay, do you recognize some of the names and places I am reading about in

this book?” Virginia started humming, her attention going somewhere else. Mary

sighed, trying to be thankful that she had gotten some conversation out of her. It

had gotten worse over the years. She noticed it most on her Tuesday afternoon

phone calls with mom. Often times the conversations were totally one sided

because either Virginia couldn’t hear or just wasn’t there mentally. Still, every

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Tuesday, Mary would try to connect by phone. It was after all her mom.

She had made it through chapter one when Mary noticed her mom was starting to doze off. Griz had already

gone to sleep which was normal for him. Closing up the book Mary collected her stuff and grabbed Griz’s leash. Pushing

her mom’s wheel chair down the hall with Griz in tow she found a nurse to help take her back to her room. They would

need a couple of nurses to move her into her bed and Mary knew she would just be in the way. Telling them she would

be back tomorrow morning she headed out into the cool night air. Knowing Griz was now in his element she allowed

him to snoop around the grounds and roll around in the snow before loading him into the car. Once back to the hotel

Mary said her prayers, thanking God for the safe travels down. She fought back a tear. The feeling of guilt of her mom

being in the nursing home making itself evident again. Trying not to think about it she went to sleep with the sound of

Griz snoring in the back ground.

The ritual on her visits to Casper was based on the schedule of the nursing home. She learned not to go there

during meal times as it was too depressing and stressful. Instead she tried to work it so she would visit for an hour or so

in the morning, then again in the afternoon and then once more in the evening. The rest of the time she would stay

back at the hotel and read and such. Now that she had Griz she had to factor him into things. After breakfast and a walk

around the hotel grounds they loaded up and headed over to visit mom again. Upon arriving they checked in as before

and went looking for Virginia. Not finding her in the TV room Mary asked an nurse.

“Yes she got her bath this morning and they put her down for a nap afterwards. Sorry we didn’t know you were

coming today.” Mary felt anger as she had told the nurses. Having driven seven hours down here in winter driving

conditions she felt that this morning visit being taken from her was not fair. Standing there in the hallway she could feel

her anger build until she saw the face of a woman in a wheel chair motioning towards Griz to come to her.

“Well Griz, I guess we should make the best of it huh?”

Griz, figuring some food would be involved, started walking

towards the woman. Mary had remembered to bring a bag of

treats this time and handed one to the lady who then, with

instruction, told Griz to ask for the treat. With a loud bark/howl

combination Griz demanded his treat. Laughing, the woman

handed Griz the treat. His large jaw taking it very gently. The

noise had gotten attention of the other staff and patients.

Around the corner came David.

“I thought that commotion would be you to.” Kneeling

down David scratched Griz’s neck.

“We’re sorry, I am still working on teaching him how to use his inside voice.” David smiled at the thought of the

massive dog having an inside voice.

“No worries. Where is Virginia?” Mary sighed at his question.

“It is Thursday, bath day. They didn’t know I was coming otherwise they would have waited.”

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“I see, well if you have time there are a lot of people here who could use some

Griz therapy.” Mary wondered if she should. She knew that her son had taken Griz to

schools and day cares before to teach about dog behavior and he trusted him enough

to let him go with Mary but still…she wasn’t

a dog handler. Taking a leap of faith she

agreed. Trusting that Griz would be the

ambassador that her son said he would be.

“Great! Come on. I got some people

here that never get visitors so this will be a

wonderful Christmas present for them.”

For the next hour they went from

room to room visiting each resident. Griz

getting treats, pats and even a hug. One

man with a walker could not get over how wonderful Griz was. He was telling stories

of training dogs in the military and how he missed them so much. The anger that

Mary had felt initially at hearing about her mom being asleep was long gone.

Replaced with seeing the joy that an old, nearly crippled dog could bring to everyone.

After seeing nearly every resident there Mary could see that Griz was tired. She told

the staff she would come back after lunch and headed back to the hotel.

After getting back to the hotel Mary prayed while Griz slept off the mornings

activity. She thanked God for the chance to see how an irritating situation could be

turned into something joyous. She thanked Him for Griz and that he was such a good

dog.

“Forgive me God. Forgive me for having mom put into the nursing home. I didn’t know what else to do.” The

tears flowed as she struggled with past decisions. She knew in her heart that she didn’t have any other choice at the

time. All of her family tried to get her mom and dad to move closer to them but Virginia was stubborn as a mule and

would not leave Casper. As their health diminished the family had to make the difficult decisions. Still, the weight of

them hung heavy on Mary each time she visited.

At 2pm Mary loaded Griz up once more and headed off to the Nursing home where as the night before they

went into the private visiting room to read to her mom and try and connect. Virginia kept humming a song that Mary

could not discern.

“Mom, what are you singing?” Virginia didn’t respond, her humming continuing. Is that ‘You are my sunshine’?

Again Virginia kept humming. Mary started singing, not knowing what else to do.

“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray…” Virginia stopped humming

and turned her head towards Mary and then started singing along. Slowly, steadily they went through the song.

“Did you like that mom? Do you want to sing it again?”

“Why sure I do.” Virginia said as though she was as normal as she was 20 years earlier. Together they started

singing. It was at the start of the second chorus that Virginia went back into her own world. The lyrics of the song

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replaced by incoherent humming, her head turning away. Mary took hold of her moms hand and stopped singing,

listening to the hums from her. She broke into tears and bowed her head with her moms hand clasped in hers against

her forehead.

“I am so sorry mom. I am so sorry that you are here.

Please forgive me. I am so sorry.” The tears poured down her

face as she sobbed. David had been watching through the open

door.

“Mary, is everything alright?” She looked up and wiped

the tears from her face.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were there.” David came in

and sat down. Griz had been watching but laid his head back

down to sleep when he realized that David didn’t have any treats.

“What are you sorry for Mary?” Shaking her head she wiped more tears away.

“I guess I have always felt that mom is angry with me for putting her in here. I didn’t know what else to do.

Now that she is fading I feel worse and worse. I just want her to know that I love.” The sobs grew stronger.

“Mary, she knows, I know, everyone knows. Did you know that there are two types of love? There is the

emotion, the love you feel for someone be it family or romantic. Then there is the action of love. I am here almost

every day. I see people here who I know have family that love them, yet they never visit. I know the emotion of love is

present but I don’t see the action. Mary, I saw love today in this room. I watched a daughter who drives hundreds of

miles many times a year, who calls every week, who will sit and read to and sing with a person who is not able to

connect with someone due to dementia. Mary, you are showing love the action. Something that is lacking here. What

you did yesterday with Griz showed that not only is your love there for your mom but for everyone here. People are still

talking about Griz and asking if he will be back. Stop beating yourself up Mary. You do a thousand times more than

many people do for their relatives here.” Mary struggled with David’s words but accepted them. She knew that God

forgives and that she needed to do the same for herself.

“Thank you David, really, I do thank you.” David held her hand for a moment and then left the room. Collecting

her emotions she opened up the book she had brought and started reading aloud to her mom. The memories of her

childhood and high school days being retold by Lynn Cheney, an old high school acquaintance. After another chapter

she decided to take Griz out to cool off and let her mom nap again. On the way out three more people asked if Griz

could say hi. She of course allowed Griz to woo them with his

charms. She could see that he was indeed becoming a star of the

place and a bright spot on an otherwise depressing place.

Outside she loaded Griz up and took him for a drive up

Casper mountain to play in the snow. Something he loved more

than anything else. She laughed and smiled as he rolled around

in it and for a brief moment he was almost a puppy again in his

demeanor.

The evening visit went well with two more chapters in

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the book being covered. She stayed as long as she could and even joined in with the staff and residents singing

Christmas carols given it was Christmas Eve. Once mom was asleep Griz and Mary headed back to the hotel. After a call

to her husband she again said her prayers, thanking God for the lesson of the day, thankful for a changed heart and

forgiveness.

Christmas morning came with two inches of fresh snow much to Griz’s pleasure. Mary gathered up her gifts for

her mom and after loading up Griz headed over to the nursing home. Walking in she did the usual greetings but was

surprised to see kids around. Turning into the TV room she saw several families there, grand children and great grand

children huddling around their respective elders. Griz let out a howl at the activity. The place, normally quiet and

solemn was now alive with the children and their energy. Finding her mom Mary decided to change things up a bit and

stay in the main TV room with all the activity. For the rest of the morning everyone took turns coming up to Griz to say

hi and have him ask for treats which he more than willingly did. Mary even noticed that her mom seemed a little more

alert, smiling a little at the sounds of the kids laughing and petting Griz.

At the end of the visit Mary walked outside and as before let Griz explore the grounds. Much of the burden she

had brought down with her now gone. Griz wandered back to her after making sure that none of the resident bunny

rabbits were around. Looking up at Mary he let out a barely audible ‘woof’.

“What? You have had enough treats my fuzzy bear. You did good though.” Mary knelt down and hugged Griz.

“ You are grandma’s boy aren’t you? “ Standing back up Mary looked Griz in the eye and smiled. “Griz, I think I actually

saw love today. And you know what, it was pretty amazing. “

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After thoughts:

As always this year’s story is based actual events. Mom and I took Griz down to visit my grandma in October of

this year and much of what is described here took place. It was while watching my mom care for and interact with her

mom that I realized I was watching love take place. Not the emotion, but the action. I knew then and there that it

would be this year’s Christmas story theme. Why? Simple, the birth and willing crucifixion of Christ is the ultimate

display of love the action.

This Christmas season I hope everyone can show and witness the action of love, especially that of our Lord and

Savior Jesus. Merry Christmas.

Troy, Griz and Grace.