how to speak like a business school grad

8/2/2019 How to Speak Like a Business School Grad

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How to Speak Like a Business

School Grad
http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/20111110/how-to-speak-like-a-business-school-grad/http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/20111110/how-to-speak-like-a-business-school-grad/http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/20111110/how-to-speak-like-a-business-school-grad/http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/20111110/how-to-speak-like-a-business-school-grad/http://images.businessweek.com/slideshows/20111110/how-to-speak-like-a-business-school-grad/


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360-degree view

1. (n.) Why you tell yourself the penthouse is worth it. 2. Complicated way of saying a thorough

analysis, usually of customers


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30,000-ft. view

1. (n.) What you see skydiving. 2. Taking a broad perspective on a problem without going into

detailsthe people on the ground look like ants anyhow.


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Actionable

1. (adj.) An offense that could get you sued. 2. Ready. Are those deliverables actionable? (See

Deliverable.)


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Bandwidth

1. (n.) Amount of information that can be downloaded in a certain amount of time, and

something we need to increase to watch more cute kitten clips on YouTube. 2. Resources

necessary to complete a project.


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Best practice

1. (n.) That time during rehearsal when the band sounded AWESOME. 2. Technique or method

considered superior for consistently achieving the desired result.


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Blue ocean

1. (n.) The view from your house in the Hamptons or Malibu. 2. Uncontested market with new

business opportunities.


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Caveat

1. (v.) A Latin verb, usually used before the word emptor. 2. A way to warn against bad news. I

want to caveat our deliverables. (See Deliverable below.)


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C-level

1. (adj.) In school, C is barely passing, below a grade of A or B. 2. In business, C describes a

companys chief managers.


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Cannibalize

1. (v.) Missionary. Its whats for dinner. 2. To decrease demand for an existing product by

introducing a similar new product.


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Core competency

1. (n.) The one thing you dont screw up. 2. Area in which a company excels (screwing up does

NOT count) that cannot be easily mimicked.


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Decision tree

1. (n.) Worst holiday decoration. Ever. 2. Business owners version of Chose Your Own Adventure

that maps out the outcome of different decisions.


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Deliverable

1. (adj.) Capable of being sent by FedEx. 2. (n.) Task that must be completed under the terms of

an agreement.


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Delta

1. (n.) Major U.S. airline that scored second-to-last in recent customer satisfaction survey. 2.

Problem with more than two sides.


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Exit strategy

1. (n.) Verifying location of the fire doors in a theater before the show starts. 2. How a business

owner and entrepreneur gets out of an investment


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First mover

1. (n.) Very forward person on a date. 2. First company to enter a market or industry.


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Free rider

1. (n.) Rapper Flo Ridas cheap cousin. 2. Those who enjoy resources paid for by others.


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Game changer

1. (n.) To sports fans, a TV remote control. 2. Visionary person, company, or product that

revolutionizes the way business is done.


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Home run

1. (n.) What your favorite baseball team needs more of. 2. Great success.


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Invisible hand

1. (n.) Forensic labs worst nightmare. 2. Force guiding the free market.


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Lean

1. (adj.) Least-fattening kind of bacon. 2. Business management strategy that emphasizes

customer value while minimizing waste. (See Six Sigma.)


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Leverage

1. (n.) Something the Democratic Party recently has none of. 2. (v.) To take advantage of--

especially proper English grammar.


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Low hanging fruit

1. (n.) What to pick in an apple orchard. 2. Easiest work or opportunity that can be undertaken

quickly.


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Market penetration

1. (n) Act of fighting your way into Whole Foods the day before Thanksgiving. 2. Share of total

potential customers reached.


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Mindshare

1. (n.) Telepathic alternative to stock share. 2. Consumer awareness of a brand or product.


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Monetize

1. (v.) To reinterpret from the perspective of a French Impressionist. 2. To turn something into a

money-making asset


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Offline

1. (adj.) For Twitter addicts, a state of torture. 2. (adv.) In private.


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Paradigm shift

1. (n.) Update on The Electric Slide. 2. Dramatic change in how things are done or thought of.


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Perfect Storm

1. (n.) George Clooney movie released in 2000. 2. Disastrous event caused by combination of

several factors.


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ROI

1. (n.) The French word for king. 2. Abbr. for return on investment, a way to measure the

benefit of an investment.


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Scope creep

(n) 1. Pervert with a telescope. 2. When the limits of a project expand without changing the

schedule or budget.


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Silo

1. (n.) Place to store corn. 2. Reason no one in the company ever knows whats going on.


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Six Sigma

1. (n.) Loser fraternity that couldnt get even seven members. 2. A business management strategy

developed by Motorola in 1986.


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Stakeholder

(n) 1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 2. Umbrella term referring to anyone with an interest in a

company or project including investors, employees, customers, suppliers, government, and the

community.


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STP

1. (n.) Popular motor oil. 2. Abbr. for Segmentation, Targeting, and Positioning, a process used to

develop marketing strategy.


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Synergy

1. (n.) Clergy members who are sinners. 2. Benefit or value achieved by bringing together parties

that would not be possible individually.


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Triple bottom line

1. (n.) Pants size at Big & Tall stores. 2. Way of measuring organizational performance that

includes people, planet, and profit.


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Take-away

1. (n.) Food delivered to a home or office in the U.K. 2. The few things you needed to learn

during that torturous three-hour meeting.


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Take a deep dive

1. (n.) Something not to do in the kiddie pool. 2. (v.) To review extensively.


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Transparency

1. (n.) Quality describing most of Lady Gagaswardrobe. 2. What most companies financial

disclosures lack.


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Value add

1. (n.) Providing a benefit. 2. ...unintentionally.


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Value proposition

1. (n.) What the Hollywood agent made to the ingnue. 2. Statement of why a consumer will

benefit more from a companys product or service than from similar offerings


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Vertical

1. (n.) How rock climbers see the world. 2. Referring to a specific business area or market.


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Win-win-win

1. (n.) Chant used by uncreative sports fans. 2. When three parties benefit from a situation.


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