how to have charismatic conversations, become instantly ... · pdf fileinstantly likable and...
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How to have charismatic conversations, become instantly likable and kill your social hang-ups
http://communicationfornerds.com!
Can you relate?• “I don’t know what to say or how to say it properly in
conversations”!
• “I don’t know what to ask”!
• “I jumble up what I’m trying to say and can’t contribute”!
• “I guess I’m just wired this way…”
The Point of Conversations• Get to know someone else!
• Show the other person that you’re engaged !
• Show your true self!
• Personally grow!
• It is a skill that can be taught
SHOW TechniqueS- Signals!
H- Help the other person!
O- Open up!
W- Ask “why”
S - Signals• Body language is key!
• Focus on smiling & eye contact!
• Smiling is contagious via “mirror neurons”!
• People know a fake from a genuine smile
Action Items• Make eye contact and smile at 5 strangers today!
• Smile at yourself in the mirror to practice a REAL smile!
• Reward your ACTION not their reaction
H - Help the other person• Self-talk distracts you from engaging conversations!
• Shift your perspective!
• Think about how you can help them!
• Get over yourself!
Action ItemsDuring your next conversation:!
1. Focus on making them feel comfortable!
2. Be an “observer” of your own mind. Is it wandering? If so, return to the convo
O - Open Up• Conversations are two-way streets!
• Sharing about yourself shows vulnerability!
• Vulnerability = likability & establishes trust
Action Item• Script 2-3 “go to” stories about yourself worth
sharing!
• They can be from college, work, hobbies, a little known fact about yourself, a book you read!
• Practice & optimize your stories
W - Ask “why”• People love talking about themselves!
• Ask “why” about something they’re interested or mention about themselves!
For example:!
• Why did you like that movie?!
• Oh cool, you’re an architect. Why’d you get into that?
Action Item• In your next conversation, make it a goal to ask
“why” at least once!
• Bonus points if your “why” question gets them to talk for over 1 minute
SHOW TechniqueS- Signals!
H- Help the other person!
O- Open up!
W- Ask “why”
Get Sh** Done!• Start with the easy action items and work your way
up to the harder ones!
• Get specific!
• Set a deadline to do each action item!
• Track your success!
• Reward your ACTION, not people’s REACTIONS
Q&A
Ask me anything!