"HONI SOIT" Vol. I., No. 3. U nregistered. MAY 17, 1929 Issued Gratis.

UNDERGRADUATES'

Annual Festival

The Week's Fixtures

Monday , May 20 th : I n a u g u r a l F e s t i -val D i n n e r a n d R e u n i o n , U n i o n R e f e c -t o r y 7.15 p .m. ; B r o a d c a s t i n g : " ' V a r s i t y Reve l s , " t h r o u g h 2BL. 8-9 p.m., by t h e W e e W u r l i t z e r s .

T u e s d a y , May 21»t: T h e a t r e P a r t y a t T ivo l i T h e a t r e . 7.15 p .m. : F e s t i v a l S o n g s ( u n d e r t h e b a t o n of " W a r b l i n g W a l t e r . " ) 8 p .m. : Spec ia l P r o g r a m m e i n c l u d i n g " T h e A n t i c s of A n d r e w s " a n d " T h e Q u e e n of H a d e s . "

W e d n e s d a y , May 22nd: F e s t i v a l S m o k e C o n c e r t , u n d e r t h e a u s p i c e s of E v e n i n g S t u d e n t s ' Assoc i a t i on .

Thursday. May 23rd: F E S T I V A L DAY

9.0 a .m . : P r o c e s s i o n a s s e m b l e s in D o m a i n ( n e a r A r t G a l l e r y ) . 10.0 a .m . : P r o c e s s i o n i s sues f r o m t h e B e n t S t r e e t G a t e s , t h e n c e p r o c e e d s a l o n g M a c q u a r i e S t r e e t . P r i n c e A l b e r t Road , t h e n c e v i a Col lege S t r e e t , W e n t w o r t h A v e n u e , Hi jy S t r e e t , P i t t S t r e e t . C e n t r a l S q u a r e , a n d G e o r g e S t r e e t W e s t , e n t e r i n g U n i v e r s i t y g r o u n d s by t h e D e r w e n t S t r e e t ga t e s .

T h e p r o c e s s i o n will d i s b a n d in f r o n t of t h e m a i n bu i ld ing , a n d will b e f o l -lowed by—

( a ) G a u d e a m u s I g i t u r ; (b) " G r a d s . a n d U n d e r g r a d s . " ; (c ) P r e s i d e n t i a l A d d r e s s (Mr . J . M. G o s p e r ) : ( d ) F e s -t i v a l Songs .

1.0 p .m . : R e c e p t i o n a n d L u n c h e o n t o Official G u e s t s : U n i o n W i t h d r a w i n g R o o m : L u n c h e o n in U n i o n R e f e c t o r y a n d Beve ry . 2-2.30 p .m. : Ca r i l l on R e c i t a l (Mr . K. M. B r a n c h ) .

A f t e r n o o n : C a r n i v a l . 2.30: O p e n i n g A d d r e s s : T h e C h a n c e l -

lor of t h e U n i v e r s i t y ( t h e Hon. S i r W i l l i a m Cu l l en ) . Mock T r i a l .

G r e a t H a l l : a . m . HD.HU Hoeiiul i l.»r. K.ii ib B a r r y

G a u d e a m u s Ig i tu r . Solo, Miss M a r i e B r e m n e r (of " D e s e r t S o n g " f a m e ) . F e s t i v a l A d d r e s s , S i r D a n i e l L e v y ( S p e a k e r of t h e L e g i s l a t i v e A s s e m b l y ) . Solo. Mi s s M a r i e B r e m n e r .

P r e s e n t a t i o n of B lues - G r a d s . a n d U n d e r g r a d s .

4.15-4.45: Car i l lon R e c i t a l : Mr. J . G. F l e t c h e r .

D I V E R T I S S E M E N T S : A f t e r n o o n . — U n i o n H a l l : 3.15 p .m. S e s -s ion I.: ( a ) D a n c i n g , (b) " T h e P i e in t h e O v e n " ( S o p h i s t r i e s f r o m S a n c t a ) . ( c ) Danc ing . 4.0 p.m.. S e s s i o n II. : ( a ) D a n c i n g , ( b ) " A n t i c s f r o m A n d r e w s . " ( c ) D a r n i n g . 4.50 p.m.. Se s s ion I I I . : ( a ) D a n c i n g , ( b ) " . l a b b e r w o c k y a n d G e r t r u d e t h e G o v e r n e s s , " in s h a d o w s h o w by Fol l ies of F e m i n a , (c ) D a n c -ing.

U n i o n C o m m o n R o o m . — " W e s l e y N i t - W i t s . "

Geo logy L e c t u r e T h e a t r e . — " J o h n ' s J o v i a l J e s t e r s . "

N e w A n a t o m y T h e a t r e , Medica l School.—11.30: Medica l M y s t e r i e s on t h e Sc reen .

Even ing .—7.0 p .m. : Car i l lon R e c i t a l : Mr. J . G. F l e t c h e r .

T h e U n i o n C o m m o n Room.—8.0 p .m. : T h e W e s l e y N i t - W i t s .

Geo logy L e c t u r e Thea t re .—7.30 : ( a ) " T h e P i e in t h e O v e n " ( S o p h i s t r i e s f r o m S a n c t a ) : 8.15: ( b ) J o h n ' s J o v i a l J e s t e r s .

E l e c t r i c a l E n g i n e e r i n g L e c t u r e Thea t re .—7.45 p .m. : ( a ) T h e Ant lca of A n d r e w s ; 8.30 p .m. : ( b ) " J a b b e r w o c k y a n d G e r t r u d e t h e G o v e r n e s s " ( in s h a d o w s h o w by Fol l i es of F e m i n a ) .

T h e U n i o n Hall .—8.15 p .m. : T h e N i g h t Club .

T h e U n i o n Refec tory .—8.30: " T h e G r e a s e r P a l a i s . "

F a c u l t y E x h i b i t i o n s :

rmrtTTC—till' a f t e r n o o n nil b u i l d i n g s a n d d e p a r t m e n t s will b e o p e n f o r i n spec t i on .

Spec ia l E x h i b i t s : P h y s i c s Bu i ld ing , c o n t i n u o u s : T e s t s in E n g i n e e r i n g School . 3.15 a n d 4.30.

"A Little Nonsense

"U' 'BI S U N T Q U I A N T E N O S ? " T h o s e w o r d s w e r e used in a d i f f e r e n t

c o n t e x t f o u r y e a r s ago . T h e n did u n d e r g r a d u a t e s d o n the i r s ack -c lo th a n d p o u r f o r t h l iba t ions of a shes , t o m o u r n l u g u b r i o u s l y t h e i r

loss of f r e e d o m . W h a t is t o b e c o m e of u s ) t h e y a s k e d t e a r f u l l y , t h e p r o s p e c t l o o m i n g d a r k b e f o r e t h e m of sun less yea r s , end le s s p e r i o d s of l e c t u r e s a n d e x a m i n a t i o n s , un re l i eved by t h a t o n e w e e k of joy a n d ga ie ty so d e a r t o t h e h e a r t s of s t u d e n t s C o m m e m o r a t i o n .

" H o n i S o i t " n o w a sks t h a t ques t i on fo r a d i f f e r e n t r e a s o n . H a s t h e spi r i t of u n d e r g r a d u a t e * u n d e r g o n e so g rea t a c h a n g e in f o u r yea r s , t h a t t h e P r o c e s s i o n , t h e Fes t iva l a n d t h e t h o u s a n d a n d o n e e x p r e s s i o n s of y o u t h f u l spir i ts , a r e n o l onge r w a n t e d by t h e m a j o r p o r t i o n of t h e u n d e r g r a d u a t e b o d y ? H a v e those w h o h a v e b e e n so u n t i r i n g a n d so e l o q u e n t in t h e i r a d v o c a c y of t h e r e s t o r a t i o n of l iber ty b e e n ou t of t o u c h wi th t h e c o r p o r a t e mind of th i s g rea t Ins t i tu t ion? Is it t h a t a p lebisc i te of s t u d e n t s w o u l d h a v e resu l t ed in a m a j o r i t y in f a v o u r of c o n t i n u e d c a p t i v i t y ? S u r e l y n o t !

O u r ex tens ive a n d br i l l ian t r e p o r t i n g staff h a s b e e n in c o n s t a n t t o u c h wi th o u r pub l ic . It h a s kep t a w a t c h f u l e y e on t h e cons t i t uenc i e s , a n d a m i n d f u l f inge r on t h e n e r v e c e n t r e of t h e e l ec to r a t e . A n d all t h e s igns t o da t e f a v o u r t h e a s s u m p t i o n t h a t on ly a m i n o r i t y h a s b e e n a b l e to s u m m o n u p a n y e n t h u s i a s m fo r Fes t iva l w e e k . T h e staff m a y b e m i s t a k e n ; t h e ed i to r i a l c o m m i t t e e h o p e s it is. But we fee l it o u r d u t y t o r e m i n d s t u d e n t s t h a t Fes t ival W e e k is the i r o w n f u n c t i o n . If t h e y d o no t s u p p o r t it, it will jus t c ease t o exis t .

A l t h o u g h " H o n i S o i t " w o u l d hes i t a t e t o sugges t t h a t l e c t u r e s shou ld be s u s p e n d e d t h r o u g h o u t t h a t w e e k , w e t h i n k it w o u l d b e a n ac t of g r a c e if l e c t u r e r s r e l axed t h e i r d isc ip l ine to s o m e ex ten t . W e w o u l d have t h e m r e m e m b e r t h a t t h e y w e r e o n c e u n d e r g r a d u a t e s themse lves . T h e n a g a i n , s o m e specia l d i s p e n s a t i o n cou ld su re ly b e a r r a n g e d f o r t h o s e e n e r g e t i c c o m m i t t e e m e n on w h o m t h e b r u n t of t h e o r g a n i s i n g task fal ls .

It s eems t o b e a m i s t a k e n idea a m o n g c e r t a i n sec t ions of th i s U n i v e r s i t y — a n d w e r e f e r m o r e p a r t i c u l a r l y to a n u m b e r of s en io r m e m b e r s of t h e c o r p o r a t i o n — t h a t Fes t ival W e e k is a pe r i od d u r i n g w h i c h , u n f o r t u n a t e l y , e s tab l i shed o r d e r m u s t give w a y t o a n a r c h y , in o r d e r to a l low u n d e r g r a d u a t e s t o let off s u r p l u s s t eam. " H o n i S o i t " insists t h a t th i s is no t t h e c a s e ; t h a t it is no t b o r n e o u t by t h e fac t s . Fes t iva l W e e k is t h e t ime w h e n all s e c t i o n s — pro fe s so r s , l e c tu r e r s , t u t o r s a n d s t u d e n t s — s h o u l d b e ab l e t o m e e t t o g e t h e r in a m a n n e r no t poss ib le d u r i n g t h e o r d i n a r y e v e r y d a y life of t h e Un ive r s i ty . T h e C e l e b r a t i o n s shou ld b e c o m m o n g r o u n d on w h i c h all c a n m e e t a n d e n j o y life t o g e t h e r . " A li t t le n o n s e n s e n o w a n d t h e n , " says t h e old p r o v e r b , " i s re l i shed by t h e wisest m e n . " If t h a t spir i t w e r e r ecogn i sed a s t h a t g u i d i n g t h o s e t a k i n g p a r t in t h e fest ivi t ies , t h e a u t h o r i t i e s w o u l d find a g r e a t e r h a r m o n y b e t w e e n t e a c h e r s a n d t a u g h t t h a n w h e n t h e d isc ip l ine of a mi l i t a ry c a m p o r p e n i t e n t i a r y is e x a c t e d . T h a t h a s b e e n so in t h e pas t , n o t o n l y in th i s Un ive r s i ty , bu t in o t h e r s imi lar c o r p o r a t i o n s t h r o u g h o u t t h e E m p i r e .

In th i s r e g a r d , " H o n i S o i t " w e l c o m e s t h e a p p o i n t m e n t of P r o f e s s o r W a l l a c e as V i c e - C h a n c e l l o r . W e h a v e said b e f o r e t h a t h e is o n e of u s — i n spi r i t . But w h y c a n n o t o t h e r s w h o m w e cou ld n a m e b e of u s in t h e s a m e w a y ? W h y shou ld u n d e r g r a d u a t e s b e r e g a r d e d as i m m a t u r e minds , n o t ye t g r a n t e d ful l f r a n c h i s e ? W e asse r t t h a t s o m e p e o p l e go e v e n f u r t h e r t h a n t h a t ; t h a t t h e y h a v e se r ious d o u b t s a b o u t o u t ab i l i ty e v e r t o a t t a i n t h e s t a t u s of m e m b e r s of t h e Un ive r s i ty . T h a t is no t t h e sp i r i t in w h i c h t h e y shou ld a p p r o a c h us. W e will w e l c o m e g e s t u r e s t o w a r d s a r a p p r o a c h e m e n t . W e will ou r se lves m a k e such a g e s t u r e d u r i n g t h e c o m i n g Fest ival W e e k .

The Voice of the Quadrangle (By O u r Spec ia l C o r r e s p o n d e n t . )

" T h e r e ' s a b r e a t h l e s s h u s h in t h e close t o - n i g h t . " Y o n d e r a p r e t t y w o m a n u n d e r g r a d u a t e , l ec tu re s f o r g o t t e n , b u r i e s h e r f a c e in a f o u r - l e a v e d p a m p h l e t . " C e c i l y , " she calls , " H a v e you seen t h i s ? "

T h e r e is a s c a m p e r , as Cec i ly a n d her c o m p a n i o n s , f e m i n i n e cu r io s i t y a r o u s e d , r u s h t o jo in t h e r e a d e r . " S h o w m e . " " W h a t is i t ? " " L e t m e l o o k , " a r e t h e ming l ed cr ies . A q u i c k g lance , over t h e r e a d e r ' s s h o u l d e r , a n d c r ies of " O h , h o w p e r f e c t l y g o r g e o u s ! " r e a c h t h e w a t c h e r u n d e r t h e s h a d o w of t h e Car i l l on .

N e a r t h e e n t r a n c e to t h e " F i s h e r " t h r e e s t u d e n t s of t h e m a l e v a r i e t y a r e a l so d e e p in t h e s a m e p a m p h l e t . W h a t is th i s w o n d e r f u l p u b l i c a t i o n ?

O n e is no t lef t in d o u b t long . " H o n i S o i t " is t h e n a m e vo iced t h r o u g h o u t t h e s q u a r e . E v e r y w o r d is e a g e r l y s c a n n e d , a n d c o m m e n t i s f r e e l y e x p r e s s e d . It is no t all f a v o u r a b l e . S u c h a live a n d h a r d - h i t t i n g j o u r n a l does n o t e x p e c t to rece ive unqua l i f i ed p ra i se . S o m e p e o p l e s q u i r m , i n d i c a t i n g a s h a f t t h a t finds its m a r k .

Is t h e r e a n y u n d e r g r a d u a t e w i t h o u t a c o p y u n d e r h is o r h e r a r m or shoved in to t h e r eces s of p o c k e t o r i ts f e m i n i n e e q u i v a l e n t ? O n e fa i ls t o d iscover a n y . E v e n g rave p r o f e s s o r s de ign f o 'not ice"iF-^&nd'Vee its po in t s .

I hus have w e awafc g rea tness , a n d s o m e have g r e a t n e s s t h r u s t u p o n t h e m . " W e will l e ave it to o u r r e a d e r s to p l ace " H o n i S o i t " in its c o r r e c t c a t e g o r y .

Have You Noticed ' ' H A T t h e S o n g Book is e age r ly

awa i t ed , desp i te a d v e r s e cr i t ic ism ce r t a in sec t ions of t h e pub l i c p r e s s?

r J * H A T t h e L a w School is p a r t of t h e U n i v e r s i t y ?

' J ^ H A T t h e smal les t sec t ion of t h e Uni -ve r s i ty C a l e n d a r is t h a t devo ted to

pub l i ca t i ons of m e m b e r s af t h e S t a f f ?

' J ^ H A T on ly m o t o r c a r s va lued a t £ 2 0 o r u n d e r will be a l l owed t o com-

pe t e in t h e Rel iabi l i ty T e s t on Fes-t ival D a y ?

' J ^ H A T P a u l ' s O v a l is still n e a r i n g c o m p l e t i o n ?

' ^ ' H A T t h e w o m e n s t u d e n t s a r e v e r y e a g e r to p a r t i c i p a t e in t h e p r o -

cess ion .

r J , H A T U n i o n f a r e is a l l eged ly cost-p r i c e ?

r J , H A T t h e Un ive r s i t y h a s a h u g e q u a n t i t y of h a l f - h e w n s a n d s t o n e

fo r d i sposa l?

^ H A T " H o n i S o i t " is uncons t i t u -t i o n a l — a c c o r d i n g t o a mino r i t y

of o n e ?

r J 1 H A T w h e n l ec tu res i n t e r f e r e wi th t h e Fes t ival , w e go to l e c t u r e s ? —

Ahem!

Wee Wurlitzers on Air Clap >d Hint

y o u r c rys ta l s . A sensa t iona l ha l f - ree l d r a m a . F o u r feet six i nches of p e r -fect b a l d e r d a s h . P e r s o n a l a p p e a r a n c e of t h e c e l e b r a t e d ' V a r s i t y F u n - m a k e r s .

Next M o n d a y n igh t , b e t w e e n t h e h o u r s of e igh t a n d n ine , t h e e t h e r will b e p e r v a d e d by m i r t h f u l melodies , s e squ ipeda l i an quips , a n d j o c u l a r fea ts . S o t u n e in t o 2BL.

Never have you h e a r d , a n d n e v e r a g a i n will you h e a r such nonsens i ca l n o n e n t i e s .

Answers to Contributors P r o Bono P u b l i c o . — N o , w e ' r e s o r r y

t o say w e shied a g a i n a t sub-ed i t ing t h a t l e t t e r . A n y h o w , w h y no t l eave t h e c o n t r o v e r s y to t h e " S . M . H . " ? — w e did no t s t a r t i t ! W e like y o u r s tyle , and , if y o u c a n c o n t r o l t h e y o u t h f u l e x u b e r a n c e of y o u r l a n g u a g e , t h e r e is a p l a c e in " H o n i S o i t " f o r y o u r " c o p y . "

E u s t a c e . — N o t t o o bad , bu t w e a r e a f r a i d t h e r e f e r e n c e s a r e t o o o b s c u r e .

P i p . — G o o d fo r y o u ! H a v e you no t i ced h o w w e used i t?

P r o Bono Publ ico . ( W h a t , a g a i n ? ) — S o m e w e l c o m e adv ice . Will fo l low in f u t u - e . " U n d e r g r a d . " is c e r t a i n l y b e t t e r .

J . T . P . — W h y b e m e r e l y abus ive? T h a t is no t t h e a im of " H o n i S o i t . "

Publisher's Notice For the guidance of contributors and

correspondents. it is pointed out that The -Editor's Box closes at 8 o'clock

The earlier contributions are received the more consideration, udTurathL will

I i • / v ^ : they be given. {,/

H O N I S O I T

An Open Letter to the University Regiment.

O n S a t u r d a y , May 4, g r a d u a n d s fo r 1929 w e r e r e q u e s t e d by t h e a u t h o r i t i e s of t h e U n i v e r s i t y of S y d n e y t o a t t e n d , in t h e G r e a t Hal l , a t e l even o ' c l o c k in t h e m o r n i n g , t h a t i m p o r t a n t c e r e m o n y , t h e C o n f e r r i n g of Degrees . S ince it w a s t h e c o n s u m m a t i o n to w h i c h they h a d been a i m i n g d u r i n g t h e t h r e e , f o u r , five or six y e a r s of the i r u n d e r g r a d u a t e -sh ip , all t hose so invi ted w e r e a n x i o u s t o a t t e n d .

D u r i n g t h e a f t e r n o o n of t h e s ame day , t hose in t e re s t ed in a n o t h e r s p h e r e of t h e U n i v e r s i t y ' s ac t iv i t ies w e r e ca l led t o t h e P a r r a m a t t a R ive r , w h e r e t h e U n i v e r s i t y R e g a t t a w a s held .

B u t — y o u w h o c o m m a n d t h e Un ive r s i t y R e g i m e n t ( o n n o a c c o u n t t o b e ca l led t h e " S c o u t s " ) h a d o t h e r ideas of t h e best u s e ' t o w h i c h t h e d a y cou ld b e p u t . You fixed a w h o l e - d a y p a r a d e , t i m e d to c o m m e n c e a t n ine o ' c lock in t h e m o r n i n g , t h e c o m p u l s o r y n a t u r e of w h i c h w a s du ly i m p r e s s e d on t r a i n e e s s u b j e c t to t h e p rov i s i ons of t h e D e f e n c e A c t .

2

The Night Club T h e sec re t n i g h t c lub h idden some-

w h e r e in t h e U n i o n has b r o u g h t m a n y s t r a n g e p e r s o n s a b o u t of la te . F o r e x a m p l e . C o n s t a b l e C h u c k w a s seen inves t iga t ing a w a t e r p ipe w h i c h h a d no obvious c o n n e c t i o n wi th t h e W a t e r B o a r d ' s ma ins , in t h e h o p e t h a t it r a n to a p o i n t in G e o r g e S t r e e t , n e a r t h e Ra i lway S ta t ion .

T h e n aga in , s eve ra l " b o y s " f r o m P o t t ' s P o i n t a s k e d w h e t h e r t h e y m i g h t c o m e as d a n c i n g p a r t n e r s . In add i -t ion , m a n y d i s appo in t ed c o n t e s t a n t s fo r t h e S ta t e T h e a t r e B e a u t y C o n t e s t have app l i ed fo r pos i t ions in t h e bal le t .

T h e G r e a s e r Pa l a i s will b e in t h e R e f e c t o r y on T h u r s d a y n igh t , a n d is su re to be a good show.

Once More the Wesley Nit-Wits

If y o u ' v e got a girl w h o fa i ls t o r e c i p r o c a t e , b r i n g h e r a l o n g t o o u r C h a m b e r of H o r r o r s on C a r n i v a l Day . W e g u a r a n t e e t h a t she ' l l s c r e a m a n d fall f a in t ing in to y o u r a r m s . If y o u can ' t come yourse l f , send her a l o n g a n d she ' l l fal l f a in t ing in to o u r a r m s . If y o u h a v e n ' t got a girl , o u r Spec ia l C h a m b e r fo r B a c h e l o r s shou ld de l igh t you .

Doubt less y o u ' v e h e a r d C o m m e r a . f o r t u n e - t e l l e r s be fo re . O u r s is by n o m e a n s c o m m o n . S o m e c o n j u r e r s h a v e won wor ld -wide f a m e . O u r c o n j u r e r you d o no t have t o s h a r e wi th t h e wor ld . W e g u a r a n t e e t h a t t h i s is h is first publ ic a p p e a r a n c e a n d his last .

T h e res t of t h e p r o g r a m m e is t o o g r u e s o m e to a p p e a r in b lack a n d wh i t e . C o m e a n d see fo r yourse l f . If y o u ' r e a n o r d i n a r y u n d e r g r a d e it will b e a d a y ou t fo r y o u . If y o u ' r e a Medica l s t uden t , it will be a d a y ou t fo r t h e kids.

The E.S.A. Smoko It h a s been r u m o u r e d t h a t t h e E .S .A.

S m o k o is t h e finest e f f o r t of t h e y e a r , exc lud ing t h e Ar t i s t s ' Ball, a n d it be-hoves e v e r y r i g h t - m i n d e d s tuden t to p l u m b these r u m o u r s to the i r d e p t h s a n d a s c e r t a i n t h e i r t r u t h .

T h e on ly essen t ia l s r e q u i r e d in w o u l d - b e e n t r a n t s a r e a f e w shil l ings, t h e abi l i ty t o r e ta in t h e i r hops , the i r equ i l i b r ium, a n d the i r good h u m o u r .

T h o s e w h o i n f r i n g e o u r by - l aws will find t h a t G o g and Magog , w h o g u a r d t h e p o r t a l s of o u r cave , will depos i t t h e m gen t ly b u t firmly on t h e i r e a r . ( T h i s adv ice is no t i n t ended f o r o u r r e g u l a r c l i en te le . )

W e w o u l d l ike to m e n t i o n t h a t o u r genia l g i an t s b e t w e e n t h e m m e a s u r e s o m e 12 fee t 6 inches , a n d t i p t h e b e a m a t 27 s tone 9 lbs.

S w e e t h e a r t s a n d wives m a y m e e t t h a t n i g h t — t h o s e w h o a t t e n d will r u e it n o t — t h e i r only w o r r y will b e induc-ing t h e c o r k s c r e w to o p e n a r e f r a c t o r y doo r .

T h e s p e e c h e s will b e p i thy , p u n g e n t a n d br ie f . ' T h e a n e c d o t e s will be nea t , new, a n d 1 n e a r l y said n a u g h t y , b u t o w i n g to t h e n u m b e r of curates* cous ins w h o h a v e signified the i r ab i l i ty a n d des i r e t o a t t e n d w e c a n no t gua r -a n t e e t h a t . T h e F r o t h b l o w e r s ' A n -t h e m will be r e n d e r e d by a ma le q u a r -t e t t e to t h e m e l o d i o u s a c c o m p a n i m e n t of p o p p i n g c o r k s a n d t ink l ing glasses. T h e l a t eness of t h e h o u r will p r e v e n t o u r less m a t u r e ma le s f r o m p o p p i n g

j such t h i n g s as q u e s t i o n s w h e n t h e y flee to~Their respec t ive s u b u r b s so t h e i r

; boyish f e a r s need no t p r e v e n t t h e m f r o m a t t e n d i n g . G a r o t t e r s f r o m Glebe a r e b a r r e d , as a r e s u b n o r m a l s f r o m S y d e n h a m . T h e Civic C o m m i s s i o n will p r o v i d e t h e l igh t ing scheme , whi ls t C h u c k a n d his t r u s y h e n c h m a n will w a t c h o u r e n t r a n c e s a n d exits .

The Antics of Andrews E n t e r t a i n m e n t e x t r a o r d i n a r y , te r r i f ic ,

iuLlknic. T l i r sliow you c a n ' t a f f o r d t o miss! S t a r k t r a g e d y t h a t b i tes t h e sou l ! Bri l l iant c o m e d y t h a t w a r m s t h e cock les of t h e h e a r t ! S ing ing t h a t n u m b s t h e senses ! Thr i l l s t h a t will a w a k e t h e d e a d ! B e a u t e o u s damsels , he ro i c m e n ! A n e n t r a n c i n g w h o l e ! !

You w e r e u n a b l e to see y o u r way c l e a r t o g r a n t l eave to t hose d e s i r o u s of a t t e n d i n g e i t he r f u n c t i o n . G r a d u -a n d s w e r e g rac ious ly i n f o r m e d t h a t , if t h e y r u s h e d s t ra igh t f r o m t h e f o r m e r c e r e m o n y t o t h e p a r a d e g r o u n d , A N D W E R E N O T T O O L A T E in a r r i v i n g at t h a t p a r a d e g r o u n d , t h e y m i g h t b e p e r -mi t t ed t o h a v e t h e i r d e g r e e s c o n f e r r e d .

U n d e r s u c h cond i t i ons , it was , of c o u r s e , imposs ib le f o r t r a i n e e s t o c h a n g e i n to t h e i r u n i f o r m s a f t e r t h e c e r e m o n y . Do w e u n d e r s t a n d t h a t t h e w e a r i n g of u n i f o r m at p a r a d e s is c o m -p u l s o r y > If so, did t h e i n c o n g r u i t y of w e a r i n g fu l l Un ive r s i t y rega l i a o v e r d r a b a n d il l-fi t t ing k h a k i ( w e h a v e t r i ed t o fit in to D e f e n c e D e p a r t m e n t u n i f o r m s ! ) s t r i ke y o u ) O r did you see s o m e t h i n g fitting in t h e r a t t l ing of t h e s a b r e b e n e a t h t h e s h a d o w s of f o r m e r in te l l ec tua l g i an t s a n d e d u c a -t iona l b e n e f a c t o r s ) Did you t h i n k t h e c l u m p of i r o n - s h o d mi l i t a ry b luche r s , h o r s e s h o e - h e e l e d , on t h e v e n e r a b l e flags of t h e G r e a t Ha l l would m a k e

mus ic p leas ing t o y o u r mi l i ta r i s t ic e a r s )

O n e ' s last a p p e a r a n c e as an u n d e r -g r a d u a t e b e f o r e " g o i n g d o w n " f r o m t h e ' V a r s i t y is su re ly a s o l e m n >occa-sion, a n d no t o n e to be p a s s e d over l ightly on t h e w a y t o L o n g Bay or some o t h e r c e n t r e fo r t h a t t r a i n i n g c o n s i d e r e d by t h e P o w e r s - T h a t - B e a s n e c e s s a r y b e f o r e t h e a t t a i n m e n t of c i t i zensh ip in a n e n l i g h t e n e d d e m o c -r a c y ) S u r e l y t h e u n i f o r m supp l i ed t o c i t izen f o r c e t r a i n e e s is m o r e su i tab le to t h e dus t o r m u d of a r i f l e - range , o r t h e c a r r i a g e of dus t -b ins in c a m p s "of c o n t i n u o u s t r a i n i n g , " t h a n to t h e occa -s ion of inves t i tu re wi th t h e r i gh t s a n d pr iv i l eges c o n f e r r e d on g r a d u a t e s of t h e Un ive r s i t y of S y d n e y by R o y a l C h a r t e r )

Did you , m i g h t w e ask , c h o o s e to have y o u r d e g r e e s c o n f e r r e d " i n ab-sen t i a )

A n d t h e R e g a t t a . D o y o u k n o w t h a t 54 "Vars i ty m e n w e r e a c t u a l l y c o m -p e t i n g in t h a t e v e n t ) D o y o u a l so

May 17, 1929.

St. John's Jovial Jesters T h e g r e y b e a r d s of Fuz tel l t h e i r

c h i l d r e n h o w o n c e Delys ia w a s a n O d a l i s q u e in a n c i e n t Fuz. W h e n h e r lover c a m e h o m e f r o m t h e w a r s , s h e kissed h im in t h e se rag l io a n d p l u n g e d his d a g g e r — i n t h e se rag l io .

T h i s is t h e bal le t t h a t t h e St. J o h n ' s Jovia l J e s t e r s a r e p r o d u c i n g as a d iver -t i s s emen t in t h e " Q u e e n of H a d e s " a t t h e Tivol i on T h e a t r e Nigh t . Spec ia l mus i c h a s been c o m p o s e d f o r t h e bal le t by R e n n i x Tu l lochsk i .

O n T h u r s d a y of Fes t ival W e e k t h e y a r e p r o d u c i n g a th r i l l e r . T h e w r o n g m a n h a s b e e n h a n g e d , a n d t h e r ea l m u r d e r e r is c o n v i c t e d ou t of his o w n m o u t h .

Both these p r o d u c t i o n s a r e in t h e h a n d s of a c o m p e t e n t p r o d u c e r . D o n ' t miss t h e m .

k n o w t h a t a l a rge n u m b e r of r o w i n g e n t h u s i a s t s w e r e a n x i o u s t o a t t e n d , even if on ly t o " b a r r a c k " f o r t h e i r f a v o u r i t e co l lege in t h e in t e r - co l l eg i a t e c h a m p i o n s h i p ) A r e you a w a r e t h a t it w a s t h e "Big D a y " of t h e S .U.B.C. , a n d t h a t a n y old S a t u r d a y w o u l d be equa l l y su i tab le fo r y o u r p u r p o s e )

In sp i te of t h e f ac t t h a t b o t h t h o s e o t h e r f u n c t i o n s h a d b e e n a r r a n g e d m o n t h s a h e a d , y o u m u s t d e c l a r e a c o m -p u l s o r y p a r a d e ! S u r e l y y o u did n o t h a v e t h e e f f r o n t e r y t o ins t i tu t e lega l p r o c e e d i n g s aga in s t t h o s e w h o c h o s e to ab sen t t h e m s e l v e s f r o m th i s e n -f o r c e d mi l i t a ry t r a i n i n g in o r d e r t o b e p r e s e n t a t t hose o t h e r f u n c t i o n s )

Is it, w e a s k in all s e r iousness , a n y w o n d e r t h a t a g r e a t m a n y s t u d e n t s p r e f e r t o jo in u p wi th t e chn i ca l un i t s ou t s ide t h e U n i v e r s i t y )

Y o u r s J ingois t ica l ly ,

" H O N I S O I T . "

i w v w W > V \ M \ \ \ \ « v \ « V v

sfew Lunches J^AGER is the logical lunch-

eon liquor ... the tang of a true lager giving a fillip to the appetite ... the high protein content definitely aiding di-gestion. Indoors or out, let Tooth's K.B. be your luncheon beverage. It's a true Lager.

TOOTH* « K B

LAGER

A Label to Remember !

UERE'S your guide to the Bitter Ale

with distinctive fla-vour, mellowness, and a satisfactory tang. Look at the label, and ask for Tooth's Sydney Bitter by its full name.

ALE

For better health at lowest cost

TOOTH'S SHEAF STOUT BREWED AND BOTTLED BY TOOTH is CO. L I M IT E D. K E NT B RE W E RY, "S Y D N E Y.

May 17, 1929.

What About "Hermes"? Business Ed i to r ce r t a in ly s t r ikes a

d e s p o n d e n t n o t e in his o p e n le t ter t o G r a d u a t e s in last w e e k ' s " H o n i S o i t . " Poss ib ly th i s is the w a y of Business Ed i to r s , bu t o n e feels su re t h a t h e is m i s t a k e n in his e s t i m a t e of t h e e s t e e m in w h i c h " H e r m e s " is held by all sec-t i o n s of t h e Univers i ty .

In t h e first p l ace it m u s t be p o i n t e d o u t t h a t t h e r e is a l a rge sec t ion of t h e U n d e r g r a d u a t e b o d y which looks fo r -w a r d t o t h e pub l i ca t ion of " H e r m e s " a n d w h i c h is no t i ceab ly d i s a p p o i n t e d if it is la te in a p p e a r i n g . T h e n a g a i n , m a n y of t h e G r a d u a t e s , so s t r o n g l y a t t a c k e d in t h e le t te r , have sons or d a u g h t e r s w h o a r e m e m b e r s of t h e U n d e r g r a d u a t e s ' Assoc ia t ion , a n d w h o t h u s b r i n g " H e r m e s " in to t h e h o m e . A s well a s t h e p e r s o n s m e n t i o n e d a b o v e t h e r e is t h e l a rge c i r cu l a t ion of t h e p a p e r o n e x c h a n g e wi th o t h e r s imi lar pub l i ca t ions , a n d wi th Pub l i c L ib ra r i e s , e tc . In f ac t , d u r i n g t h e shor t t ime w h i c h t h e wr i t e r w a s c o n n e c t e d wi th " H e r m e s " h e no t i ced cop ie s a d d r e s s e d t o p r a c t i c a l l y all of t h e m o r e civil ised p o r t i o n s of t h e wor ld . Whi l e it is t r u e t h a t t h e s e m e t h o d s of c i r cu l a t ion d o no t he lp t h e f i nances of t h e Business Ed i to r it is w i t h o u t a d o u b t t h a t they ju s t i fy t h e pub l i ca t ion of t h e p a p e r . In add i t ion , t h e m e r e e x i s t e n c e of " H e r m e s " gives t h e l i t e r a ry inc l ined a n incen t ive to wr i t e , w h i c h w o u l d b e l a c k i n g if t h e r e w a s n o possibi l i ty of g iv ing t h e i r w o r k t o t h e wor ld .

N o n e will d e n y t h a t some real ly fine p o e t r y a n d p r o s e h a s b e e n wr i t t en fo r a n d pub l i shed in " H e r m e s , " a n d if t h e r e is s o m e t i m e s a s h o r t a g e of suit-a b l e m a t t e r it is b e c a u s e t h e s t a n d a r d is so h igh , a n d S h a k e s p e a r e s a r e r a r e . Th i s , of c o u r s e , does no t abso lve a n y -b o d y f r o m t ry ing .

Desp i t e t h e f ac t tha t o n e s t a r t e d by d e p l o r i n g Business Ed i t o r ' s pess imism, o n e is f o r c e d to a g r e e wi th h im on m a n y of t h e po in t s ra ised in t h e l e t t e r . F o r e x a m p l e , t h e n o n - p a y m e n t of o v e r d u e s u b s c r i p t i o n s is a d i s g r a c e f u l i thing. H o w e v e r , o n e feels su re t h a t [this is a n ove r s igh t on t h e p a r t of t h o s e c o n c e r n e d w h i c h w o u l d be rec-t i f ied if c i r c u l a r s w e r e sent ou t . W h y l iot send ou t c i r c u l a r s t o all l ikely new p i a d u a i e subsc r ibe r s . asKing t h e m to b e c o m e s u p p o r t e r s of t h e p a p e r .

" P R O RE. A R T E . E T H E R M E S . "

( i n t e r v i e w e d last n igh t . Business Ed i to r said h e w o u l d ac t on t h e adv ice pf " P r o Re . . . . e t c . " " W h i l s t it | s t r u e , h e added , " t h a t m a n does ho t live by b r e a d a lone , ' H e r m e s ' lives by t h e m o d e r n e q u i v a l e n t — m o n e y . W e would like t o add a little j a m t o t h e m e n u . " — E d . )

"The Queen of Hades" A t e n o r m o u s cost t h e S y d n e y Uni-

versity D r a m a t i c Socie ty is i m p o r t i n g f n b loc f r o m Ice land t h e lavish a n d i p e c t a c u l a r mus ica l c o m e d y , " T h e Queen of H a d e s , " fo r p r e s e n t a t i o n a t |he Fes t ival T h e a t r e P a r t y a t t h e f i vo l i on T u e s d a y , May 21 .

T h i s g o r g e o u s show, a c c l a i m e d by iri t ics t h e w o r l d ove r , r an fo r a season if half an h o u r at its initial p r e s e n t a -ion , a n d is conf iden t ly e x p e c t e d by t h e j-U.D.S. to r e p e a t th i s s ensa t iona l t iccess. j A l r e a d y t h e show is in r e h e a r s a l ,

id a f t e r {in e x a c t i n g a n d p a i n s t a k i n g >uest," a P e r m a n e n t Ballet of I 2 h a s

>en f o r m e d . It is b e i n g t r a i n e d by a r ld - f amous d a n c e r w h o is de l igh ted

Jth t h e s p o n t a n e i t y a n d g r a c e of t h e ' e lve c h o i c e beau t i e s .

a W e l l - k n o w n s t a r s h e a d t h e cast , p r o -t inent a m o n g w h o m is Scan t i c lo tha , n e x - P r u s s i a n ba l l e r ina • T h e d e m o n c h o r u s h a s been f o r m e d t>m a m o n g t h e e x - m e m b e r s of t h e J i l l i amson-Melba G r a n d O p e r a C o m -m y , - a r m ! S.U.D.S. feels s u r e t h a t i f " a m e Nellie Melba w e r e now in* Syd-sy she w o u l d b f s t o w h e r en thus ia s t i c a t r o n a g e o n ' th i s mus ica l r x t r a v a -»nza.

T o d a t e th i s is t h e mos t a m b i t i o u s fo r t of S.U.D.S.

HONI

Festival Ball A l t h o u g h Fest ival D a y h a s b e e n

b r o u g h t f o r w a r d to T h u r s d a y , May 23, it is no t t o be s u p p o s e d t h a t Fes t iva l W e e k c o m e s off icial ly t o an e n d on t h a t day . O n e of t h e mos t i m p o r t a n t f u n c t i o n s a r r a n g e d by t h e U n d e r g r a d u -a t e s ' A s s o c i a t i o n will t a k e p l ace on t h e fo l lowing d a y . F r iday . May 24, in t h e U n i o n R e f e c t o r y , at 8 p .m. W e r e f e r to t h e Fest ival Ball.

O t h e r p e o p l e m a y tell y o u t h a t t h e i r D a n c e , o r Night C lub , o r C h a m b e r of H o r r o r s , o r D ive r t i s semen t , is t h e m a i n a t t r a c t i o n of Fes t ival W e e k . D o n ' t bel ieve e m ! W e c a n tel l y o u m o r e a b o u t rea l , una l loyed p l e a s u r e t h a n t h e w h o l e of t h e res t of ' e m p u t t o g e t h e r . E n j o y t h e R e u n i o n D i n n e r , a n d t h e E .S .A. S m o k o . G o as wild a s y o u l ike on Fes t iva l Day , a n d r ave a s m u c h a s y o u p l ease a b o u t T h e a t r e Nigh t ( b u t n o t at t h e t h e a t r e ) . But k e e p in t h e b u c k of y o u r mind t h e t h o u g h t t h a t F r i d a y n igh t will see t h e g r a n d cul-mina t i on of a w e e k of u n r e s t r a i n e d joy.

You k n o w of a de l igh t fu l p a r t n e r , w h o c a n d a n c e t h e ' V a r s i t y D r a g t o p e r f e c t i o n ? Fe tch her a l o n g . W e g u a r a n t e e t h a t she will no t sit o u t ! You w a n t he r fo r y o u r s e l f ) Well , b r i n g h e r pa l s a l o n g fo r y o u r less f o r -t u n a t e c o m r a d e s . But, w h a t e v e r y o u do, c o m e you r se l f . Y o u will n o t h a v e c o m p l e t e d y o u r Fest iv i t ies if y o u miss this , a n d you will go t h r o u g h t h e y e a r wi th a sense of i r r e p a r a b l e loss. You will no t be ab l e to say t h a t w e d id n o t give y o u d u e w a r n i n g .

T i c k e t s , a t 5 / 6 each , m a y be ob-

SOIT

Sancta Sophia " W h e n t h e r e ' s lots of Sco t t i sh loving

to be d o n e — t o be d o n e , A p o l i c e m a n ' s life is n o t a h a p p y o n e

— h a p p y o n e . "

T h e Pie in t h e O v e n , " a f a r c i c a l c o m e d y , pu l s a t i ng wi th a r d o u r , a n g e r a n d a n g u i s h , g raph ica l ly r evea l s t h e vac i l l a t ing , t imorous , t r e m u l o u s love of t h e local p o l i c e m a n f o r t h e flower-l ike F lo ra . In s t r ik ing c o n t r a s t , t h e h e a v y f a t h e r , d o u r McNab , o f f e r s g r e a t s cope fo r t h e d r a m a t i c t a len t of S igno r Dion G o r d o n , t h e e r s twh i l e med ica l s t uden t , w h o le f t h o m e , m o t h e r a n d p ro fe s s ion f o r t h e call of t h e s tage , a n d t h e g l a re of t h e foot l igh ts .

A t t r a c t i o n N u m b e r T w o : " P a d d l e - o v e r , " c o m p l e t e wi th bal le t ,

elfin s teps , du lc id s t r a ins , w i n s o m e w e n c h e s .

"Follies of Femina" Men s tuden t s , we w o u l d have you

k n o w , a r e no t r u n n i n g Fest ival W e e k w i t h o u t t h e a s s i s t ance of t h e w o m e n . It h a s no t so f a r been noised a b r o a d , bu t t h e W o m e n ' s Co l l ege , u n d e r t h e t i t le of "Fo l l i e s of F e m i n a , " will p r o -d u c e in s h a d o w s h o w o n C a r n i v a l D a y , a t 3 . 3 0 a n d 8 p .m. , " J a b b e r w o c k y , " a n d " G e r t r u d e t h e G o v e r n e s s . " T h e y e x p e c t a r e c o r d house .

t a i ned f r o m a n y m e m b e r of t h e S .U .U .A . c o m m i t t e e , t h e Un ion . Man-n ing H o u s e , o r t h e Col leges .

The Bill for the Boards T u e s d a y , May 21, a t 7 .15 p .m.

O y e z ! O y e z ! A b o u t t h a t T h e a t r e P a r t y — o f

c o u r s e you a r e c o m i n g a l o n g ! T h e Tivol i , a t 7 .15 s h a r p . If y o u a r e la te r , you will miss t h e c h o i r of ( a t l e a s t ) a t h o u s a n d voices, u n d e r t h e b a t o n of " W a r b l i n g W a l t e r . "

T h e n , a t 8 o ' c lock . Mur ie l S t a r r in a d r a m a t i c ske t ch . You will r eg r e t it all y o u r life if you miss this . A n d w h a t a b o u t t h a t set of p r ize t r i pe -h o u n d s ) W e a r e a s su red t h a t t h e y p l a y t h e p i ano , by fee t , no t by e a r . By r e q u e s t , n o g i f t s of saveloys , h o w -e v e r m u c h you a p p r e c i a t e t h e an t i c s of t he se c lever an ima l s . J a c k Bar ty is said t o be a F u n n y Man. T h i s is o n e p r o g r a m m e t h a t you c a n bel ieve.

Exc i t i ng to a d e g r e e is t h e c l a im m a d e by t h e m a n a g e m e n t of t h e A u r o r a t r o u p e of s t u n t i n g cycl is ts . H o r a c e will nex t t r y t o a m u s e you wi th a n o n s e n s e i n t e r l ude , a n d w e g u a r a n t e e t h a t a t least five p e r cen t , of his a l lus ions will no t be t o o o b s c u r e fo r y o u r a l e r t in te l l igences . H e will b e fol lowed by a set of equi l ibr i s t s ( n o re la t ion to Blondin , as f a r as w e k n o w ) .

Lively r e p a r t e e is a f e a t u r e of t h e t u r n of W r i g h t a n d Mar ion , a n d t h e e v e n i n g will c lose wi th t h e c h a r m i n g Jan ice , b u r l e s q u i n g , mimic ing , a n d so o n . A de l igh t fu l c o m e d i e n n e .

R e a s o n a b l e q u i e t n e s s is e x p e c t e d f r o m those p r e s e n t , w e h a v e b e e n told by t h e o rgan i s e r s . W e w o u l d no t t a k e t h e odds t h a t t h e y will ge t it.

Box P lan at t h e U n i o n ( c loses t o - d a y 2 p . m . ) .

JVEW WONDER

SAXOPHONE J PLAY A SAXOPHONE FOR PLEASURE AND PROFIT I

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| Each Saxophone is heavily silver-plated, with gold inside bell, richly engraved, and highest 1 | possible finish. The prices include all playing accessories, etc., a handsome plush-lined lock- I | up carrying case. | O u r exc lus ive C o n n A g e n c y also c a r r i e s t h e W o r l d ' s Best in C o r n e t s , T r u m p e t s , T r o m b o n e s . H o r n s a n d O r c h e s t r a l 1 | D r u m s a n d Ef fec t s .

| W e h a v e a c o m p e t e n t staff of T e a c h e r s in t h e A lbe r t Co l l ege of Music , w h o o b t a i n exce l l en t resu l t s wi th S a x o p h o n e I 3 b e g i n n e r s . =

1 W e a lso s t o c k an e x t e n s i v e r a n g e of S a x o p h o n e Ins t ruc t ion Books, Books of Solos, Solos in Shee t F o r m , e tc . , inc lud ing I = Rudy W i e d o e f t ' s M o d e r n M e t h o d f o r t h e S a x o p h o n e ( R u d y W i e d o e f t is a c k n o w l e d g e d to be t h e " K r i e s l e r of t h e Saxo - 5 5 p h o n e ' ) . A l so a w o n d e r f u l Pos ta l C o u r s e of S a x o p h o n e Lessons . P r i c e £ 2 2 '- .

i : ^ ~ | When in Town Call in for Frc.e Demonstration.

| J. ALBERT & SON, 137-139 K i n g S t r e e t , S y d n e y • itiiimiitiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiiiuiittiiiiiiiiuimiiiimiuiiimimiiMiiiiimiiioii ciiiiiiiiiiiiiutiiiiiiiiiiicsiiiiiiiiiiiiciiiiiiiiiiiitciiiiitiiiiiiiuiiiiiiiiiiiicsuiiiiiiiiiiMiiiHiiiiiiieiiin

H O N I S O I T

An Arm-Chair Critic. H P H E R E a r e t w o so r t s of cr i t ics , t h e

c o n s t r u c t i v e a n d t h e f r a n k l y ob-nox ious . Recen t ly " H o n i S o i t " w a s f o r c e d in to c o n t a c t wi th a p a r t . c u l a r l y u n d e s i r a b l e p e r s o n w h o s e pos i t i on gave h im. h e t h o u g h t , f r e e s cope f o r h . s c r i t i ca l gifts . W e h a v e no t t h e s l ightes t des i r e t o p i l lory individuals . If w e did we shou ld m e r e l y m e n t i o n n a m e s a n d give a list of spec i f ic o f f ences . O u r des i re is r a t h e r t o c a s t i ga t e a vice by desc r ib ing its t y p e , a n d w h e n t h e G o d s give an e g r e g i o u s e x a m p l e w e c a n n o t resis t t h e t e m p t a t i o n to p r e a c h .

S u c h a p e r s o n a s w e h a v e in mind c a n b e p r o v e d n e v e r t o have w r i t t e n t o ' H e r m e s , " c o n t r i b u t e d to t h e S o n g Book , p a i d an U n d e r g r a d u a t e s Asso-c ia t ion sub. , o r o f f e r e d h i . se rv ices t o w a r d s e f f ec t ing t h e r e f o r m s h e t h i n k s des i rab le . H e h a s o n e of t hose s u p e r i o r vo ices w h i c h c a n c o n t r i v e a t o n c e t o b e i ng ra t i a t i ng a n d snee r ing . His a t t i t u d e is t h a t of t h e b o r n t e a c h e r , b u r n i n g wi th a des i re t o give h . . o p i n i o n , wi th a c o p i o u s p e p p e r i n g of t h e a r r o g a n t " I . " H e i . a v e r y r u d e a n d ve ry b o r i n g p e r s o n .

S u c h a g e n t l e m a n c r i t i c i s e . " H e r m e i " : - " O h . H e r m e s ! ! Not t h a t 1 shou ld c o n t r i b u t e t o i t . " " T h e S o n g B o o k ) R a t h e r a p a l t r y affa i r—-I ce r t a in ly w o u l d no t h a v e a h a n d in i t . " In f ac t , w e have b e e n p r iv i l eged t o h e a r in his c o n v e r s a t i o n such a g lo r ious m i x t u r e of p o m p o s i t y a n d s t a r k ignor -a n c e t h a t w e a r e f o r c e d t o m e n t i o n h is

t ype .

Medical Mysteries Did it ever o c c u r t o you t h a t t h e

med ica l s choo l h a r b o u r s hos t s of mys-t e r ious , m o r o n i s h m o n s t r o s i t i e s ?

If not , w e w o u l d be d i la ted if y o u w o u l d p a y a vi . i t to o u r h o m e on T h u r . d a y nex t .

R e v e l a t i o n , of b lood th i r s t y in t e res t , n o t on ly t o sa t i s fy m o r b i d cu r ios i ty , bu t fo r eve ry o n e s p e n d i n g Fes t iva l a f t e r n o o n in t hese j o y o u s s u r r o u n d -ings.

W e c a n give y o u a g u a r a n t e e t h a t y o u will no t b e d i ssec ted , d e c a p i t a t e d , de f l a t ed or con f ined in t h e med ica l s choo l fo r m o r e t h a n h a l f - a n - h o u r .

M. BRTOS.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR. The Talkies

T o t h e E d i t o r . — O n e w o u l d i m a g i n e t h a t t h e po l i cy of y o u r p a p e r w o u l d b e p rog re s s ive , bu t on t h e s e c o n d p a g e of y o u r first issue is f o u n d a n a r t i c l e l a m e n t i n g t h e p a s s i n g of t h e " g o o d old d a y s , " in t h e f o r m of t h e film e n t e r -t a i n m e n t g iven by t h e U n i o n s o m e f ew y e a r s b a c k . T r u e , t h e p r i ce of ad-miss ion w a s on ly f o u r p e n c e , b u t of w h a t d id t h e e n t e r t a i n m e n t c o n s i s t ) T w o A m e r i c a n c o m i c films, a n d a n e w s r e e l ( a l so A m e r i c a n ) w a s t h e f a r e usua l ly r ece ived . T h e p r o j e c t o r w a s f au l ty a n d t h e films o ld , w o r n , a n d sin-gu l a r l y devo id of h u m o u r . T y p i c a l u n d e r g r a d u a t e h u m o u r w a s f r ee ly voiced. M a n y c h a i r s w e r e b r o k e n .

S ince t h e e n d of 1927 w e h a v e h a d a film soc ie ty which c e r t a i n l y c h a r g e s s i x p e n c e admiss ion , bu t h a s w r o u g h t m i r a c u l o u s c h a n g e s in t h e c i n e m a t o -g r a p h e n t e r t a i n m e n t . E m p h a t i c a l l y , it i . N O T " t h e s a m e old f a r e . " T h e p r o -j ec to r h a s b e e n m a d e as n e a r l y p e r f e c t as poss ib le . A long f e a t u r e film h a s t a k e n t h e p l a c e of o n e of t h e old c o m i c films, a n e w comic film h a s t a k e n t h e p l ace of t h e o t h e r , a n d t h e news ree l , u p t o da t e , h a s p u s h e d o u t its an t i -q u a t e d p r e d e c e s s o r . T h e f e a t u r e film is n e v e r m o r e t h a n f o u r w e e k s o lder t h a n its first re lease a t a l ead ing Syd-n e y t h e a t r e , a n d in m a n y cases , p r e -r e l ease films a r e s h o w n .

A b o u t t hese " a l l e g e d t a lk i e s . " N o m e m b e r of t h e Fi lm Soc ie ty , a s f a r as i c a n a s c e r t a i n , e v e r c l a imed t h a t t h e ta lk ies w e r e be ing s c r e e n e d a t t h e U n i o n . ( " T a l k i e s , " by t h e way , is a w o r d t h a t is used jus t a s m u c h in Eng-land a s in A m e r i c a , a s y o u m i g h t eas-ily a s c e r t a i n by r e a d i n g n e w s p a p e r , a n d j o u r n a l s o t h e r t h a n t h o s e of y o u r o w n c i t y . ) T h e m u s i c a l a c c o m p a n i -m e n t is u n d o u b t e d l y a p p r e c i a t e d by t h e a u d i e n c e . W i t n e s s t h e loud howls of " M u s i c ! " w h e n t h e g r a m o p h o n e is dis-c o n n e c t e d .

A s a m a t t e r of fac t , 50 p e r cen t , of t h e films s h o w n a r e Bri t ish m a d e . T h o u g h t h e y a r e E n g l a n d ' s best , t hey

—only s c t v e tu J c i n u t i s t i a l e t h e i m m e n s e

s u p e r i o r i t y of A m e r i c a n films, b o t h in a c t i n g a n d t e c h n i q u e . You , w h o seem t o a t t e n d t h e e n t e r t a i n m e n t r egu l a r ly , will n o t i c e t h a t W e d n e s d a y * . (Br i t i sh films' d a y ' s ) a u d i e n c e is n e v e r a s l a r g e a s F r i day ' s .

Final ly , you a r e d iv ine ly incons is t -en t . You c r a v e t h e old e n t e r t a i n m e n t , ye t y o u d e m a n d i m p r o v e m e n t s .

J O H N T . DINGLE.

( E d . — S o r r y , Mr. D., if w e h u r t y o u r feel ings . You mi s took o u r m o t i v e s . )

( T o t h e E d i t o r . )

T h e r e w a s o n c e u p o n a t ime a luna-t ic, w h o s p e n t t h e g r e a t e r p a r t of his t ime h i t t i n g his h e a d aga in s t a wal l . O n b e i n g a s k e d w h y h e did so h e re-pl ied t h a t it w a s such a p l ea san t f ee l ing w h e n he le f t off . " T h e m ' s m y sent i -m e n t s , " sir, w i th r e g a r d t o t h e so-cal led mus ica l p o r t i o n of t h e S.U.F.S. p r o g r a m m e . W h e n it ceases , t h e r e s teals over o n e a f ee l ing of s u b l i m e bliss a n d plac id p l e a s u r e . W h i l e it is in p r o g r e s s , h o w e v e r , it exc i t e s t h e b a s e r pass ions . T h i s d i scord r e s e m b l e s all a t once , t h e h o w l i n g of an i n f a n t , t h e g r o a n of a s t e a m - r o l l e r in d is t ress , t h e f r enz i ed s c r e a m of a n a l a r m e d gu inea -p ig , a n d t h e ma t ing-ca l l of o u r fe l ine f r i e n d s .

A n d t h e n t h e s h o w i t s e l f — n u m b e d as o u r senses a r e , w e still p e r c e i v e t h e gross c r u d e n e s s of t h e p r o d u c t i o n . of the Firs t l e t t e r s c o n d e m n t h e " w i d e - o p e n s p a c e s " b e t w e e n ree l . . H e r e find t h e i r e m p l o y m e n t , no t " . t r o n g silent m e n . ' b u t r a t h e r t hose of r iba ld wit a n d m i r t h f u l song. In b e t w e e n these gaps w e h a v e a s m u c h of a s h o w as will fit on t h e to ta l ly i n a d e q u a t e s c r een . W h e n it is p r o p e r l y focus sed w e see a b o u t t h r e e - q u a r t e r s of t h e p i c t u r e o n t h e s c r e e n ; t h e res t , t e n f ee t b a c k on t h e wal l . Usua l ly , h o w e v e r , t h e p r o -p o r t i o n i . half a n d ha l f . A n d , s i r . in c o n c l u . i o n , w e h a v e o n c e seen t h e u p p e r half of a m a n o n t h e b o t t o m , a n d h i . legs on t h e t o p half of t h e s c r e e n ; so t h a t he w a s s t a n d i n g u p o n h is o w n h e a d !

S IGMA.

May 17, 1929,

Sporting Activities. [ C o n t r i b u t i o n s under this heading are

invited from Secretaries of the various bodies. If the volume of contributions Justifies that action, the column will be made a permanent feature of "Honl Soi t ." ]

Rowing F o r t h e benef i t of " F r e s h e r s " a n d

o t h e r m e n w h o des i r e t o t a k e u p t h i s a q u a t i c p a s t i m e w e w o u l d l ike t o p o i n t ou t t h a t a se r ies of i n t e r - f a c u l t y c o m -p e t i t i o n s a r e a b o u t t o c o m m e n c e w h i c h give n e w m e n e v e r y c h a n c e to g r a d u -a t e i n to n e x t y e a r ' s ' V a r s i t y E i g h t .

O n S a t u r d a y , May 18, t h e In te r -F a c u l t y T u b P a i r s r a c e will b e he ld a t B lackwa t t l e Bay. P a i r s will b e j u d g e d o n s tyle on ly .

Nex t t e r m t h e F o u r s a n d E i g h t s will b e r o w e d .

In t hese t h r e e even t s , e a c h m a n in t h e w i n n i n g c r e w will be a l l o t t ed t w o p o i n t s a n d t h e f a c u l t y wi th t h e h ighes t a g g r e g a t e will be a w a r d e d t h e T . B. Ph i l l ips Shield , a t r o p h y well w o r t h ho ld ing . T h e shie ld , w h i c h m a y b e seen in t h e F i sher L i b r a r y , h a s b e e n held fo r t h e pas t t w o y e a r s by V e t e r -i n a r y Sc ience .

A p p l i c a n t s fo r admis s ion shou ld c o m m u n i c a t e w i t h —

S. P . H E B D E N , H o n . Sec ty . ,

S .U.B.C.

Festival Buttons N o w is t h e t ime f o r all you m e n a n d

w o m e n w h o a r e s a v i n g t h e p e n c e a n d l e t t ing t h e p o u n d s t a k e c a r e of t h e m -selves to j u m p in on a rea l b a r g a i n ! Fes t iva l b u t t o n , a r e n o w o b t a i n a b l e f o r t h e small sum of I / - . T h e r e a r e no t m a n y lef t , so b u y ea r ly . E n -ti t les t h e ho lde r t o f r e e admis s ion t o t h e g r o u n d s . Is a l so a m e m e n t o .

Memo to Correspondents If ynu want us t» print your letters, at

least couch them in good English. Write leg-ibly. and do not insult us by scribbling on a tram ticket in any old five minutes of ieisure. The temper of our sub-editor is short, and compositors' time shorter.

Contributors are advised that we are unable to handle copy satisfactorily unless it is writ-ten on one side of the paper only.

PRINTED anil Published by The Land News-paper Ltd., 57-59 Regent Street. Sydney, for the I'niversity Undergraduates' ASM via-

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