habit – 4 think win/win principles of interpersonal leadership
TRANSCRIPT
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Habit – 4 Think Win/Win
Principles of Interpersonal Leadership
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Habit – 4 Think Win/Win
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President and lack of Cooperation
– Lack of cooperation, resistance, defensive & selfishness
– Overdrawn Emotional Bank Account– No rewards for not cooperating– Racehorse – who will be 1st to finish line to Bermuda?
• What do you think? Have you seen this “paradigm of Competition?
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Six Paradigms of Human Interaction
• Win/Win • Lose/Lose • Win/Lose • Win • Lose/Win • Win/Win or No Deal
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Win/Win
• Agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial• • It’s not your way or my way; It’s a better way, a
higher way.
• Cooperation NOT Competition
• Let’s work together
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Win/Lose
• Authoritarian approach
• Paradigm of the race to Bermuda
• Use of:
– position – Power– Credential– Possessions– personality to get one's way.
• “If I’m better than my brother, my parents will love me more.”• Normal Distribution curve at some colleges!• PTA meeting and son and daughter differing in class
The win/lose mentality is dysfunctional to interdependence
Use of Competition not cooperation is utilized
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Exercise
• Think of where cooperation is effective?
• Think also where competition is effective?
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Lose/Win
• Lose/Win people are quick to please or appease. • Capitulation -- giving in or giving up.
Go ahead. Have your way with me!
Step on me again.
I’m a loser
I’m a peacemaker
Win/Lose love Lose/Win people
They can FEED on their weaknesses.
Have you ever felt like this? Share?
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Lose/Lose
• Result of encounters between two Win/Lose individuals. – Stubborn, determined, egoistic
– Philosophy of war and conflict
– Divorce case where husband sold car for $50 and gave $25 to wife
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Win
• Win at all costs. Other people don't matter.
• The most common approach in everyday negotiation.
• Doesn’t matter if you win or lose as long as I WIN!
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Which Option is Best?
• From the five paradigms discussed which option is the most appropriate the majority of the time?
• Discuss?
.
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Win/Win or No Deal
• If we can't find a solution that would benefit both parties, we agree to disagree.
• Most realistic at the beginning of a relationship or enterprise.
• Art of Negotiation tip! No Deal! Surely one can agree to a win/win compromise!
• Software president signs contract to a bank $84k.The bank president leaves and a new bank president revokes contract for a No Deal. Software president accepts and loses contract. However, 3 mths later gets $240k contract
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win
• Character• Relationships• Agreements• Structure and Systems• Process
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Character
• Character - The foundation of Win/Win
– Integrity. The value we place on ourselves.
– Maturity. The balance between courage and consideration.
– Abundance Mentality. There is plenty out there for
everybody.
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Relationships
• Courtesy, respect and appreciation for the other person and his point of view.
• High Emotional Bank Account • High Trust• With Win/Lose people focus on the circle of influence
to gain trust – Make deposits until win/win
Role play a situation where you are dealing with a win/lose person to a win/win situation.
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Agreements
• Win/Win Agreements:
– Desired results – Guidelines – Resources – Accountability – standards of performance – Consequences
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Win/Win Management training
• Bank wants to train graduates in 6 months at cost of $750k. Asked to improve upon.– No goals– Low salary – No on the job training
• Recommended learner-controlled instruction by empowering trainees with objectives and incentives
• Took 3.5 weeks to finish!
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Performance agreements
• Daughter 16 driving car with mutual agreement and consequences otherwise
• Performance evaluation meetings and objectives
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Supportive Systems
• Reward systems must reflect all.
– Saudi Arabia 1st year 40 out of 1000 get recognized– 2nd year 800 out of 1000 get rewards
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Five Dimensions of Win/Win - Processes.
• The route to Win/Win:
– See the problem from another point of view. – Identify the key issues and concerns involved. – Determine what results would constitute a fully
acceptable solution. – Identify possible new options to achieve those results.