Habit 3: Put First Things First

What is stress?

Time managementHow important do you think it is to manage

your time?What are some examples of time wasters?How do I spend my time?On which activities do I spend too much

time? Not enough?

Jar of rocks

Important vs. not importantUrgent vs. not urgent

The Relationship Bank Account You have an RBA with everyone you meet. You need to work on your PBA before your RBA. Why do

you think this is? Where a PBA is the amount of trust and confidence you

have in yourself, an RBA is the amount of trust and confidence you have in other people.

Breaking trust & promises: very hard to get back Acts of kindness: compliments, making someone feel

welcome or loved, doing things for others Be loyal, keep secrets, stick up for people and avoid

gossip Listen Apologize Clear expectations

Think Win-WinWin-Lose: winning at the expense of others.

You win, but feel rotten after.Lose-Win: people who are easily intimidated

and give in. “Doormat” syndrome. Anti-confrontational. Low expectations, compromising standards.

Lose-Lose: no one wins. Revenge. Grudges. “If I can’t have it, no one can”

Win-Win: everyone can win. You care about others, but you also care about yourself.

Why are people who think win-win so easy to get along with?

What type of relationship does lose-win encourage?

What are some lose-lose examples from current events?

Competition: is healthy when you’re competing with yourself, or when it challenges you to reach and stretch and become your best. Competition becomes dangerous when you tie your self worth into winning or when you use is as a way to place yourself above another.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood

Five Poor Listening styles: Spacing out Pretend hearing Selective hearing Word hearing Self-centered hearing

Genuine Listening

Listen with your eyes, heart and ears.

I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

Interview activityFull nameDo you have any brothers or sisters? How

many? How old are they?Do you play any sports or participate in any

extra-curricular activities?What are some of your hobbies?What are your plans after graduation?

Then Seek to be Understood

• Is as important as the first half of habit 5 but requires something different from us.

• Courage• To be able to speak up

about how you feel• Seek first to understand is

weak without the second part. It is an easy trap to fall into “Doormat syndrome”

Habit 6 - Synergize

What is Synergy?

Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone. It’s not your way or my way but a better way, a higher way.

Synergy is: Celebrating differences Teamwork Open-mindedness Finding new and better ways

Synergy is Everwhere!

Examples of Synergy Sequoia trees – grow to heights

of 300 ft. they grow in clumps so their roots can intermingle to make them strong so winds can not blow them over

A Team – all players playing together

A band – instruments alone have a unique sound (guitar, bass, drums, etc) put together they have a completely different sound.

Celebrating Differences

Synergy doesn’t just happen. It’s a process.

One method to getting there is though celebrating differences

What do you think of when you hear the word diversity? Racial Gender

MUCH more to it. Including

Physical features, dress, language, wealth, family, lifestyle, education, wealth, skills, etc

The world is a big pot of mixed cultures, religions, races, and ideas

3 approaches to handling it.

Shunner’s Profile

They do not enjoy differences, sometimes they are afraid of them.

They are convinced their way is the best.

Will do what it takes to save the world from differences.

Tolerator’s Profile

Believes everyone has the right to be different

They do not shun but they do not embrace either

You don’t bother me, I wont bother you

Never get to synergy because they see differences as hurdles, not as potential strength

Celebrator’s Profile

They have learned that two people that think differently can achieve more than two people alike.

Celebrating differences doesn’t mean you have to agree with them but you value them.

Multiple IntelligencesWE ALL LEARN DIFFERENTLY: Linguistic Logical/Mathematical Bodily/Kinesthetic Spatial MusicalInterpersonalIntrapersonalNaturalist

GRAPES Natural Abilities include: reflective,

sensitive, flexible, creative, preference for group work

Can learn best when they: can work and share with others, balance work with play, can communicate, are noncompetitive

May have trouble: giving exact answers, focusing on one thing at a time, organizing

To expand their style, grapes need to: pay more attention to details, not rush into things, be less emotional when making some decisions.

ORANGES Natural Abilities include:

experimenting, being independent, curiosity, creating different approaches, creating change

Can learn best when they: Can use trial & error, produce real products, can compete, are self-directed.

May have trouble: meeting time limits, following a lecture, having few options.

To expand their style, oranges need to: delegate responsibility, be more accepting of other’s ideas, learn to prioritize

BANANAS Natural Abilities include: planning,

fact-finding, organizing, following directions

Learn best when they: have an orderly environment, have specific outcomes, can trust others to do their part, have predictable situations.

May have trouble: understanding feelings, dealing with opposition, answering “what if” questions

To expand their style, bananas need to: express their own feelings more, get explanations of other’s views, be less rigid.

MELONS Natural abilities include: Debating

points of view, finding solutions, analyzing ideas, determining value or importance.

Learn best when they: have access to resources, can work independently, are respected for intellectual ability, follow traditional methods.

May have trouble: working in groups, being criticized, convincing others diplomatically.

To expand their style, melons need to: accept imperfection, consider all alternatives, consider other’s feelings.

Road Blocks to celebrating diversity

Ignorance You don’t know what other

people believe, how they, etc Often abounds when it comes to

understanding people disabilities Cliques

They become so exclusive that they begin to reject everyone who is not like them

Prejudice It’s a sad fact that all minorities

will have additional hurdles to jump because of many prejudices.

Getting to SynergyACTION PLAN

Define the problem or opportunity

Their Way: understand the other person’s point of view

My Way: seek to have my ideas understood, share

Brainstorm: get creative, avoid criticism, build on best ideas

The Highway: the best solution

TeamworkTHERE ARE GENERALLY FIVE TYPES OF PEOPLE WITHIN A TEAM.

Plodders: stick with the job until it’s done

Followers: very supportive of leaders, if they hear a good idea they can run with it.

Innovators: the creative, idea people.

Harmonizers: provide unity and support, encourage cooperative, great synergizers

Show-Offs: fun to work with, can be tough at times.

Third Alternative

Find a better solution than win-lose, lose-win, or lose-lose

A solution that neither side had in mind at the start.

A way for all parties to win. Different and often difficult

to achieve, but the results are “win” for everyone.