FLORIDA ASSOCIATION of SCHOOL FINANCE OFFICERS

Jacksonville, FLJune 19, 2019

WHY AM I HERE?

2

• TRUST YOUR VISION• PASSIONATELY PLAY YOUR POSITION

• PLAY THROUGH THE FOUL to WIN at the game of life!

• Because Gretchen Saunders and FASFO asked me to

come!!

HOW I DEVELOPED FASFO EMPATHY from SCIATICA

TALLAHASSEE

FASFO

SCHOOLS/TEACHERS

CHILDRENBy Vera Jones,

The Empathic Leadership Coach

IMPROVING CORE

STRENGTH

LITTLE VERA, AGE 9

“Allow your PASSION to become your PURPOSE and it will one day become your PROFESSION!” - Gabrielle Bernstein

“The purpose of pursuing your passion is to one day put passion back into your purpose!” – Vera Jones

My FIRST LOVE !

“I’ve given so much of my life to basketball and in return, basketball has given me so much life! Greatest of all it has taught me how to Play Through the Fouls of life and Win!”

FOULS are situations, circumstances, technology and people, who can limit, hinder, threaten, alter

and discourage us from our desired GOAL.

ANDREW (STRONG)

12th Birthday, 2010

Age 3-1/2

“Stop hanging out with Worry and Doubt and

make FAITH your New Best Friend.”

- Mom

Surgery Day, March 24, 2010

Craniopharyngioma

FAITH!!!

HONORARY PhD IN STRESS MANAGEMENT

Andrew and“Tibbs”

THINGS JUST GOT “RUFF!”

The world is full of suffering…

It is also full of overcoming it. – Helen Keller

BLIND LIFE & LEADERSHIP LESSONS:

1. NO PERIPHERAL DISTACTIONS!

“Your life is controlled

by what you focus on.”

– Tony Robbins

2. FOCUS ON THE GOAL…

Move straight ahead one step at a time.

3. ASK FOR HELP!

When Pride says, “Do it yourself!”

But Wisdom says, “Ask someone

who knows.” Be humble enough

to listen to Wisdom! You’ll be

proud you did!

4. I CAN.

Don’t let the things you can’t do

overshadow the things you can.

5. TRUST YOUR NEW NORMAL

Change is often difficult, but it is also inevitable. Trust you will survive it. After all, every day is a new day. And you are still here!

6. SIGHT vs. VISION

“It’s not about what you can see,

it’s about who you are meant to be!

Sight is perception of your present.

VISION is FAITH in your FUTURE!”

7. YOU ARE SIGNIFICANT

We think we are striving to be our best for

our own glory. Ultimately, we strive to be our

best to serve others. In doing so we

encourage others to do the same!

Interdisciplinary Social SciencesInterest: Disabilities Advocacy

Florida State University

EXCEED THE VISION!

“Please don’t cloud my unlimited

VISIONwith your limited sight.”

–Vera Jones

1. No peripheral distractions!

2. Stay Focused on the goal …. move towards it one step at a time.

3. Sometimes true Strength means asking for HELP!

4. Don’t let the things you can’t do overshadow the things you can.

5. TRUST that eventually you will learn to survive in your New Normal.

6. One thing worse than losing your sight is losing your vision!

7. You are SIGNIFICANT, so PASSIONATELY PLAY YOUR POSITION!

BLIND LIFE & LEADERSHIP LESSONS:

Exceeding the Vision!

FAITH and VISION are the keys to helping us all Play Through the Foul of stress and adversity so that we can win in this game of life. No matter the obstacles, never ever doubt your significance to change lives for the better. And always remember: “You elevate your own significance every time you empower others to believe in theirs!” ~ Andrew and Vera

Educators,THANK YOU!

STRESS IS A HUGE FOUL!

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.

OUR MINDS ARE STUCK IN OUR SCARY EVOLUTIONARY PAST!

U.S. teachers’ job satisfaction craters - reportBy Valerie Strauss, Published: February 21, 2013

“Half of America’s public school teachers say they feel great stress several days a week and are so

demoralized that their level of satisfaction has dropped 23 percentage points since 2008 and is at its lowest in 25 years, according to an annual survey of educators.”

The 29th annual MetLife Survey of the American Teacher

American Institute of Stress

14% of respondents had felt like striking a coworker in the past year, but didn’t

(Workplace)

American Institute of Stress….

• 80% of workers feel stress on the job and nearly half say they need help in managing their stress.

• 42% say their co-workers need help.

• U.S. workers put in more hours on the job (ave. 47 hrs/wk) than any other labor force of all industrial nations.

STATE OF THE AMERICAN WORKPLACE

Unhappy Employees Outnumber Happy Ones By Two To One

According to a massive report released by the Gallup Polling organization, there are twice as many “disengaged” workers in America as there are “engaged” workers who love their jobs.

(Using data collected from more than 195,600 U.S. employees via the Gallup Panel and Gallup Daily tracking in 2015 and 2016, more than 31 million respondents through Gallup's Q12 Client Database, and insight from advising leading Fortune 1000 companies.)

CULTURE OF WORKER

NEGATIVITY

(U.S.A. = 67% Disengaged or Unhappy At Work)

33

16%

51%

AMERICAN WORKFORCE

ENGAGEDACTIVELY DISENGAGEDDISENGAGED

3 KEY JOB CONDITIONS = “STRESS” (FOULS)

(From NIOSH - National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health on CDC.gov)

UNREALISTIC DEADLINES OR DEMANDS

LOW LEVELS OF SUPPORT FROM SUPERVISORS

LACK OF WORKER INVOLVEMENT IN DECISION-MAKING

WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?

TRYING TO PASS WITH D’S:DIVORCEDEATHDISEASEDISABILITYDEPRESSION/ANXIETYDESPERATIONDYSFUNCTION

NOW!! 2- STEPS

WASH YOUR WINDOW!!!STEP 1:

STEP 2: EMPATHICALLY COMMUNICATE

•OPEN

•HONEST

•CLEAR

That simple…and yet that complicated…..

(Goal: To Build and Maintain Healthy Relationships)

4 BASIC TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

38

Reading Writing Speaking Listening

PTTF COMMUNICATIONS 101

“PLAYING CATCH!”

EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION =

BASIC COMMUNICATION MODELS

40

SENDER RECEIVERONE-WAY:

TWO-WAY:

SENDER RECEIVER

FOULS are situations, circumstances, technology and people, who can limit, hinder, threaten, alter

and discourage us from our desired GOAL.

MOODVOLUMECONTEXTINFLECTIONATTENTIVENESSINTERNAL CONFLICTEXTERNAL CONFLICTSOCIAL INTERPRETATIONSCULTURAL INTERPRETATIONSPRE-DISPOSED BIAS AND PREJUDICE 42

FOULS = DISTRACTIONS =MISCOMMUNICATION

MISCOMMUNICATION MODEL

43

FOUL! FOUL!

SENDER RECEIVERUNDERSTANDING

FOUL! FOUL!

Relationships become toxic, productivity becomes waste!

“SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND,

THEN TO BE UNDERSTOOD”

(Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, 1989)

Empathic Listening “Most people don’t listen with the

intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”

Diagnose Before You Prescribe “If you don’t have confidence in

the diagnosis, you won’t have confidence in the prescription.”

WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO CARE!!

LEADERSHIP

FOULS

LACK OF EMPATHY:

Understand that LEADERSHIP is notcomfortable.

Opposition in the leadership game is inevitable.

LEAD ANYWAY!

“Refuse to allow your position to be more important than your DISPOSITION!”

BEWARE THE “STANK FACE!”

Hardest position to play:

bench!

PASSIONATELY PLAY YOUR POSITION

48BIGGEST OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH IS ON THE BENCH!

BREATHE (REST)

EVALUATE (ANALYZE)

NURTURE (PATIENCE & PERSPECTIVES)

CHEER (FOR OTHERS)

HUNGER (RESILIENCE TEST)

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” –Mahatma Gandhi

WHAT IS LEADERSHIP, ANYWAY?

Others will follow your lead based on how they you.

Also: “CULTURE” – ability to relate based on shared experience

WE CHOOSE OUR ‘TUDE!

“The only true disability in life is a BAD ATTITUDE.”

WHAT IS LEADERSHIP?

“Leadership is about EMPATHY. It is about having the ability to connect with people for the purpose of empowering and inspiring their lives.”

~ Oprah Winfrey

“You elevate your own SIGNIFICANCE every timeyou EMPOWER OTHERS to believe in theirs!”

– Vera Jones

EMPATHIC LEADERSHIP: YOU GOT IT??

ATTITUDE OF SIGNIFICANCE!

LEADERSHIP “6 – S”SIGNIFICANCE – Help others see how they matter. “I GOT IT!”

SECURITY – Show Faith not fear. “No Stank Face!” Speak of the future!

SOLUTIONS – Demonstrate Knowledge. Don’t Shrink from problems. If you don’t have the answers, seek input from others with knowledge or experiences. Involve your team! Grow on the BENCH!

STRUCTURE – Vision; Mission; Plans; Rules; Discipline; Follow up!

SINCERITY – Empathize. Listen. Speak truthfully. Be true to your people and to your Vision. Don’t forget to be true to yourself.

SELFLESSNESS – “If you think it’s all about you, soon you’ll be right, because you is all you will have.” Make Teamwork a reality.

LEADERSHIP “SUCCESS!”

CULTURE OF WORKER NEGATIVITY

U.S.A. = 67% Unhappy At Work

FASFO=

99.9% HAPPY AT WORK!!!

…because the health and well being of our school children and families depend on it!

33

16%

51%

AMERICAN WORKFORCE

ENGAGED

ACTIVELY DISENGAGED

DISENGAGED

HOW I DEVELOPED FASFO EMPATHY from SCIATICA

TALLAHASSEE

FASFO

SCHOOLS/TEACHERS

CHILDRENBy Vera Jones,

The Empathic Leadership Coach

IMPROVING CORE

STRENGTH

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

58

• TRUST YOUR VISION• PASSIONATELY PLAY YOUR

POSITION• PLAY THROUGH THE FOUL

(So we ALL WIN at the game of life!)

I’m Vera Jones. THANK YOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO MATTER TOO!

FLORIDA ASSOCIATION of SCHOOL FINANCE OFFICERS

Hyatt Regency, Jacksonville, FLJune 19, 2019