final script - the most incredible panto -...

The Most Incredible Panto – September 2016

14-‐4-‐16 J. Anderson

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ACT I

SONG:

Full Company: Work this Body

Scene1:

End of Song all exit except Thumbelina on stage with the Flower King (Dill).

Thumbelina Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls. Wow; What an incredible audience we have in here tonight; Welcome one and welcome all to the Most Incredible Panto, ever.

Dill Excuse me my dear, but why ‘The Most Incredible Panto’, I mean, most Panto’s are pretty good. If we asked the boys and girls I bet they have all got their favourites, haven’t you? Give a shout out for your favourite panto! (repeats some of the pantos shouted out by the audience, eg Cinderella – I like that one)

Thumbelina True, they are all great pantos, but let me explain. In this panto we have some of the most incredible characters, from some of the most incredible stories written by one of the most incredible story-‐tellers of all time; Hans Christian Andersen.

Dill Now boys and girls, see how many Hans Christian Andersen stories and characters you can spot in our pantomime and you might win a prize.

Thumbelina To give you a start, I’m Thumbelina, and the story of my life is ‘The Most Incredible Thing’. I could tell you all about it but it would take all night, so, I’ll just start at the beginning and see how far we get. Here goes, my story in a nutshell: (mimes actions as she tells story-‐ has walnut shell necklace round her neck)) Mother wants a baby, house too small, plants magic seed, flower grows tall, I jump out, tiny as your thumb, walnut for a crib, a gift from mum. Kidnapped by a toad …

Dill You don’t half go on! They can read your story from any good book shop; skip to the end where you land in a flower garden, (emphasises) in the flower next to mine. I’m Dill, King of the Flower Fairies, and as soon as I set eyes on Thumbelina I knew she was the girl for me. We married the same day. Dilly Ding, Dilly Dong

Thumbelina I was given my own set of fairy-‐wings so we could fly on our adventures together. Of course, I have grown quite a bit since then,

Dill Haven’t we all, but size is like age, it’s only a number, you just have to put it in perspective.

Thumbelina I just wish I could have seen my mother for one last time. Maybe she will hear of our adventures one day. But for now, let’s take you on an adventure with one of our special friends, The Little Mermaid, see you all soon.

As they exit Ariel enters singing & sits on a rock, with Lenny & Comfort at side of stage on floor below Ariel (singing) Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high,

There’s a land that I’ve heard of once in a lullaby

Lenny (shouting) Ariel, come back down here at once! There’s a storm brewing up there.



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Ariel (in a lilting voice)

Sorry Lenny, can’t hear you, there’s a storm brewing up here.

Ariel Oh it’s so incredible up here, feeling the raindrops on my skin, watching the lights shimmering over the Emerald Kingdom, listening to the waves breaking on the shore and dreaming of my Prince singing sweet lullabies to me across the sea. Why do we have to live under the sea, it’s so dark and cold down there and so very wet! It suits my sisters, and even our troublesome siblings, Bold & Daz, but I would rather live in the Emerald Green Trees than the Emerald Green Seas.

Comfort (shouting) Ariel, get down here at once, the witch is on the warpath

Ariel Our Guardians of the Sea-‐World; Lenny Lenor and Comfort the Crab, a fine double act they make. Protecting us from the dangers of the sea and softening the murky waters for us, but in truth, they are more scared of the sea-‐witch than we are. Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue,

Lenny(interrupting) It won’t be the only thing that’s blue if you’re not back here in TEN seconds! I’m counting!

Ariel (sings) And the dreams that we dare to dream really do come true (as she disappears from the stage Prince Hans enters)

Prince Hans Did you hear her, boys and girls? Did you hear that beautiful singing? You did? What an incredible voice, I wish I could have seen her but she seems to have disappeared beyond the sea. Do you know who it was? You do? Who was it? A mermaid? No. There’s no such thing as mermaids, is there? (Oh Yes there is /Oh no there isn’t Prince ends banter with:) I know a joke about a mermaid: Why does a mermaid wear sea shells (because she grew out of her B-‐shells); Do you want another? Which part of a mermaid weighs the most (her scales); Why did the Little Mermaid ride a sea-‐horse (She wanted to play water-‐polo); What does a mermaid wear for maths – an algae-‐bra. Boys and girls, shall I tell you a secret? I’m going to find that girl and I’m going to marry her. And if you’re right and she is a mermaid, well, I’ll eat my crown.

Queen (off stage) Hans! Come back home at once. We have more guests arriving.

Hans (to audience) That’s my mother, Queen Tiana. She wants me to meet more ‘would-‐be-‐princesses’ who ‘would-‐be-‐my-‐bride’ but I’m not going to marry ANY of the brides she has waiting for me. (to audience) You know who I’m going to marry; but that’s our secret.

Belle / Cinders / Aurora

Well, well, well, the Incredible Prince Hans daydreaming by the sea. Your mother wants you back at home to choose your bride to be She’s getting quite impatient, that’s clear for all to see, So Aurora, Belle or Cinders, whichever will it be?

Hans It won’t be any of you, I’ve chosen my bride; haven’t I boys and girls?

SONG: (Ensemble)

Beyond the Sea (Prince with Aurora, Belle & Cinders & ensemble) End of Song, all exit.



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Scene 2 (at the palace) – The Queen Mrs Potts, & Chip enter, Chip is carrying a cushion with a pod of peas on it. Queen Ah, Mrs Potts, what are we to do with young Hans? I wish he would take his

responsibilities seriously.

Mrs Potts Your majesty, I am more worried about what we are to do with all of these would-‐be-‐princesses. How much longer should we keep them here? Surely if they haven’t found the Pea by now, they cannot be true princesses.

Queen But they are such lovely girls; any one of them would make a suitable bride for my dear son. (At this the 3 girls run in). Look at them; there’s Cinders, bless her, always helping with the cleaning.

Cinders Good afternoon your majesty, Mrs Potts, shall I sweep the parlour for you?

Mrs Potts True, She is certainly a most hard-‐working princess. I’m really not sure how I would manage the place without her help.

Queen And what about Belle, such a delightfully witty companion, and always ready with an incredible fact to teach us from one of her books.

Belle Good afternoon, your majesty, Mrs Potts, Do you know, it really is the most incredible thing that there are parts of the ocean that have never been explored, some people even believe that mermaids might live there and sea-‐monsters.

Mrs Potts Granted, she is more knowledgeable than Wikipedia, but what about Aurora, our Sleeping Beauty over there, she spends most of her life sleeping, it would take more than a Pea in the bed to wake her.

Aurora (yawning)

Does anybody mind if I take an afternoon nap, I’m so tired, and these beds are just the most comfortable, ever.

Queen True, but she has such beauty and grace and she is so good with a spinning wheel. What about today’s guests – do we have many outside?

Mrs Potts I don’t know, but we don’t have many beds left and we are on our last pod of peas. (Indicates a Pea Pod on cushion being carried by Chip.)

Queen Then have we nothing else we can use? How about that walnut shell (hanging around her neck)?

Mrs Potts (trying to find an excuse not to use it) Oh No, your majesty, it’s the only one I have. (aside) besides, it is very precious to me. (at this point Hans enters and scoops up the pea pod from the cushion)

Hans (jovially) How many peas could a pea pod pop if a pea pod popped its peas? And if the Prince pinched the peas from the popped pea pod (changes tone becoming sarcastic) then how would you ever determine the princesses from the paupers we keep accumulating in the Palace. I ask you, whoever thought you would be able to spot a ‘true princess’ by placing a pea under a mattress.



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Queen Hans!

Hans Good Morning Mother, Mrs Potts, high five little Chip. What a glorious day it is for

choosing a bride. Where are today’s contenders? Chip, turn on the CCTV. Poor things, so desperate to become a princess, if you passed a Frog along the line they would take it in turns to kiss it in the hope it turned into a prince.

Queen Hans!

Hans Mother, when are you going to give up on your search for a ‘REAL’ princess? I am quite capable of finding my own Bride.

Queen That is not how we royals behave, now Hans, let’s meet and greet our guests. Chip the CCTV if you please,

Mrs Potts They’re an odd looking bunch your majesty, ooh, zoom in on that one, what’s your name dear, and do tell us about yourself,

Pocahontas I’m Pocahontas, daughter of Chief Powhatan, I am a hunter and gatherer and could keep your larder stocked with the finest food.

Mrs Potts We should take this one, the larder is running quite low, and if she can gather another pod of peas! NEXT!

Jasmine Princess Jasmine, daughter of Sultana Miranda; I bring gifts of the finest jewels in the kingdom.

Queen At least she looks like a princess & the jewels are so pretty. NEXT!

Mulan I am Mulan, ma’am, daughter of noble warrior Huan Hu,

Merida And I’m Merida the brave, the finest archer in the land; together we protect you from your enemies.

Hans I think we need defending more from our friends than our enemies. NEXT!

Anna I’m Anna and this is my sister Elsa, we are orphaned royal sisters.

Elsa Please let us in, it is so cold out here!

Queen The poor dears, they look absolutely frozen. Chip, open up the door and let them all in.

Mrs Potts All of them? Where will we put them, and what will we feed them with, and where will we get enough PEAS.

Queen Enough Mrs Potts, now let’s give them a right royal welcome. The princesses are allowed into the castle and the Prince greets them loudly.

Hans Welcome, I’m Prince Hans, do make yourself at home; Good afternoon, Prince Hans, delighted to meet you, How do you do, I’m Hans, Queen Tiana’s son. (some



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of this may be said over intro of song)

SONG: (Group)

Be Our Guest; Led by Queen and Mrs Potts with Hans, Aurora, Belle & Cinders.

Scene 3 (under the sea) – as they all exit we go back beneath the sea, Daz & Bold enter first up to mischief with Persil , Fairy, Surf, Tide & Flash following trying to keep order. Lenny What is going on here, just look at the mess! Persil, Fairy, get this place cleaned

up now! Why we agreed to become your guardians while your parents went on their tour of the seven seas I will never know.

Persil You don’t mean that Lenny. Your life must have been so boring before Father left you to protect us.

Fairy We add the colour and excitement to your life.

Comfort I was quite happy in my cosy little shell; I never asked to become comforter of the royal kindergarten.

Persil Excuse me, I am of age; I’ve had my day on land and graduated from mer-‐school, I no longer need protecting.

Comfort You do when the witch is on the warpath!

Lenny Which she will be very shortly if you DON’T CLEAN UP THIS MESS; Surf & Tide, the water doesn’t clean itself you know. Flash, try and work a bit faster!

Fairy It’s not fair, where’s Ariel, she never does her share of the cleaning. I bet she’s up on the surface again and you know Father would never permit that.

Lenny That sister of yours is a law unto herself, but she is on her way back down now.

Comfort Let’s hope she gets here before the witch arrives. Daz, Bold stop messing around.

The sea witch enters with her squid army, making menacing moves towards the mermaids and the audience. Witch

Well what do we have here, if it isn’t the little Mer-‐babies. Abandoned by their father and mother and left in the protection of a crusty old crab and a loopy old lobster. I wonder how many of them will survive until their parents return. So many dangerous creatures in the ocean, don’t you think my little squid-‐i-‐winks?

Persil We are not babies and you can’t scare us. (Daz & Bold sticking tongues out etc)

Comfort She scares me!

Witch (eyeing up audience) Of course I scare you, I can scare anyone, I can scare you and you and especially you! Look at all of these strange land – beings. They are so easy to scare. Look at them all! Booing from the safety of their seats. They don’t know what evils are lurking in the deep beneath their feet. What evil delights shall we treat them to. Oooh, they’ve decided to Boo us! Do you think that scares us. Boo all you like, I’m Ursula MacPhee the Sea Witch, and there is no-‐one in the oceans more powerful than me.



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Ariel enters unseen at first by the sea-‐witch. Ariel Oh yes there is

Witch Oh No there isn’t (banter with audience between Ariel and Witch, audience on

Ariel’s side) ending with So, the Little Mermaid thinks she’s more powerful than me, with her ‘Oh so pretty’ little singing voice. Ooh – I’m so scared – NOT!

Ariel Our Father King Trident is more powerful than you are.

Witch And yet he has gone away and left you all as little more than Shark-‐bait.

SONG: (Group) Mack the Knife, led by Sea-‐witch with Lenny & Comfort & group.

End of song all exit and scene changes to land again in a tailors shop. Scene

Thumbelina enters with Flower King

Thumbelina: Hello Boys and Girls, are you all enjoying yourselves?

Dill: Have you met the Little Mermaid yet? And her sisters and brothers? Can you remember their names? Ariel, Persil, Fairy, Tide, Surf, Flash, Daz and Bold. Other Soap powders may be available, but if they are, we haven’t heard of them.

Thumbelina:

They are all friends of ours. We have lots of friends who live under the sea,

Dill:

And lots of friends who fly in the air, like the Wild Swans who have kindly flown us over the seas to a strange little town called ‘Walsall’. Dilly Ding Dilly Dong.

Thumbelina: So here we are in ‘Walsall’ and we are hoping to make lots of new friends. Oh, look, a spinning wheel & loom, we must have landed in a tailors shop.

The tailors enter, arguing, not being particularly productive. Moss: How are we going to create an outfit to please the Emperor and Lady Godiva?

Bros: Why are you asking me? How should I know?

Moss: Well I don’t know. If you ask me nothing can make the Lady Godiva look good,

NOTHING, I tell you.

Bros: You have to look good on the inside to look good on the outside. If Beauty is only skin deep, her skin must be incredibly thin.

Moss: (Very dramatic) Oh this is the end of us, whatever are we to do? It’s a disaster!

Thumbelina: Hello, can we help you, you seem very distressed?

Moss: Distressed! Distressed – we are more than distressed.



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Bros: We are Moss and Bros; Fashion Designers extraordinaire; Winners of the Great British Sewing Bee and now, unfortunately, Tailors to the Emperor of Walsall.

Moss: And therein lies our problem

Bros: Have you met the Emperor of Walsall and his daughter the Lady Godiva.

Thumbelina: No, I can’t say we have.

Moss: You are the lucky ones. Nothing is ever good enough for them. They demand outfits for the Lady Godiva that will make a Prince fall in love with her

Bros: And then blame us when the Prince chooses someone else. They should try looking at what is inside the outfit. You can’t turn an Ugly Duckling into a beautiful swan you know.

Moss: And now they are after Prince Hans of the Emerald Kingdom. We have done everything we can but nothing is going to make Lady Godiva look good.

Thumbelina But you don’t seem to have done anything. There’s no thread on the loom.

Dill And no cloth in the shop

Moss: Of course there isn’t, der, because we don’t know what to do!

Mayor of Walsall: (Fanfare!) Bow down you worthless subjects. Make way for the Emperor of Walsall and his most beautiful daughter the Lady Godiva.

Emperor: Good Day my loyal subjects. Do you have our new clothes ready for us? My daughter must look at her most beautiful to meet Prince Hans. (the tailors look around at the empty shop)

Godiva: Oh Father, I hope this outfit is better than the last one. Not a single prince was impressed with it. However will I find a husband without a suitable outfit?

Emperor: I know dear. But what do British Princes know about fashion. I’m sure Prince Hans will have far more taste.

Mayor: This time, these worthless subjects will not fail us. Now where are the outfits? The tailors all look frightened and don’t know what to say. Thumbelina steps up.

Thumbelina: Your majesty, Sir, Thumbelina, pleased to be of service. These fine tailors have just enlisted our help to create the most incredible outfits that anyone has ever seen. We have just ‘flown-‐in’ from the Emerald Kingdom of Prince Hans and know exactly what is needed to make him fall in love with your most incredibly beautiful and charming daughter. (Tailors & Dill looking confused)

Godiva: Oh Father, can this be true.

Emperor: Pray do tell us more,

Dill: Yes, pray do tell us more,



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Thumbelina: I have in my possession the most incredible thread you have ever seen, isn’t it

beautiful

Mayor: Isn’t ‘what’ beautiful? (Everyone is looking puzzled)

Thumbelina: This silk. (holding it out for all to see / not see) It is so delicate that it can only be seen by the most incredibly intelligent and beautiful beings in the Kingdom. (Towards Dill) Most people are far too stupid to see it!

Dill: (realising what she is doing) Ah yes. The way it catches the light, how incredibly perfect. It can only be woven into a garment fit for the most beautiful princess.

Godiva: Let me see. I can’t see it. Why can’t I see it?

Thumbelina: As I recall it was a particular favourite of Prince Hans.

Emperor: It was? He must have good eyesight.

Godiva: Oh Father, can this be true? Finally I will get an outfit fit to capture a Prince.

Song (Group) Razzle Dazzle (sung here, then reprised at end of next bit of lib, led by Thumbelina & Dill & principals).

End of song, all exit except for Thumbelina, Dill, Moss & Bros.

Dill: My dear, that was truly inspired.

Thumbelina Why thank you, one of my better ideas, though I say so myself

Moss: (confused) We can’t make an outfit out of this, we can’t see it ourselves.

Bros: And if we can’t see it, how will we find someone to spin it? And weave it? Oh disaster, disaster!

Thumbelina Don’t you see? There isn’t any thread.

Moss: So how can we see if there isn’t any thread?

Thumbelina You said yourself that NOTHING is going to make the Lady Godiva look good and so NOTHING is what we will give her.

Bros: How can we give her nothing? The Emperor will have our guts for garters.

Dill The Emperor and his daughter are so vain; they can’t possibly risk being made to appear stupid by ‘not seeing it’ when everyone else clearly can.

Thumbelina Look; (to audience) Boys and girls, you’re intelligent, you can see it can’t you?

Dill (to audience) That’s good because we will need your help.

Thumbelina If you see the Emperor or his daughter, or any of his staff, you have to warn us.



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Dill Do you think you can do that? We need a secret code-‐ how about ‘Dilly Ding Dilly

Dong’ – can you all shout that! Dilly Ding Dilly Dong.

Thumbelina (With audience) Dilly Ding Dilly Dong. (audience continue Dilly Ding Dilly Dong)

Dill: Wow, that is brilliant; you’ve got the hang of this. (as Mayor enters).

Mayor What’s going on here? Why aren’t you spinning the yarn?

Thumbelina We have already spun the yarn.

Mayor But I can’t see anything – what am I going to report to the Emperor

Thumbelina Now, now, good sir, don’t be bashful, of course you can see it

Dill You must have SOME intelligence as the Mayor of Walsall

Thumbelina Why, even the boys and girls can see it, can’t you boys & girls (YES!)

Mayor Ah yes, I believe I may be able to see it. I will report this progress to the Emperor.

Dill Dilly Ding Dilly Dong that was a close shave.

Thumbelina I learnt from an old master, there’s more than one way to spin a yarn!

Reprise Ensemble Reprise of Razzle Dazzle to finish scene. Scene 4 Back in the Palace, Queen greets all princesses – all of whom have slept well.

Queen Good Morning Mrs Potts, and how did our guests sleep

Mrs Potts Unfortunately your majesty I believe they all slept extremely well.

Cinders Good morning Your majesty, Mrs Potts, can I approach you on a very delicate

matter. I found a ‘Pea’ under the mattress.

Mrs Potts Oh at last, my dear I am so pleased you have found it.

Cinders You’re not cross that I have brought this to your attention

Queen Cross, why my dear, we couldn’t be happier (aside our princess)

Cinders Oh good. You see, I felt so refreshed this morning after sleeping so well that I decided I would strip and make the bed to save poor Mrs Potts from having to do it and that’s when I found this pea under the mattress and I know what a clean house you like to keep so I thought I really must inform you of it at once.

Mrs Potts Oh yes, of course, and that is why we are so pleased you have brought it to our attention. Thank you Cinders, run along now. (Cinders exits)

Queen I suppose that doesn’t count, but just for a moment (sighs)



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Aurora Your Majesty, Mrs Potts, may I speak with you about the comfort of the beds.

Queen Why of course my dear, is there a problem with them, did something disturb you?

Aurora No, not at all, I just wanted to ask where you get these mattresses from; they

really are the most comfortable beds I have ever slept in and believe me, I am an expert when it comes to sleeping!

Queen My dear, what a lovely compliment, I am glad you slept so well. (aside to Mrs Potts) whatever are we to do.

Mrs Potts Your majesty, maybe one of our new guests will have noticed something? (As Mulan, Merida, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Elsa and Anna enter)

Queen Good Morning my dears, did you sleep well?

Princesses Oh yes, your majesty, like a log your majesty. (all mutter their agreement)

Queen There’s always Belle, and I must admit she is quite a favourite of mine, (as Belle and Hans enter, Belle reading a fairy tale book) they do make a lovely couple.

Belle Your majesty, Mrs Potts, it really is the most incredible thing, but it says here in my book that there was once a Queen who was so desperate to find a true princess for her son that she hid a pea under the mattress, as it is said that only a true Princess would be able to feel it. Imagine that! I wonder if it ever worked.

Queen I wonder if it ever will.

Hans Come along Belle, do tell me how this story ends, I love a good Fairy Tale.

SONG: Group

Fairy Tale (led by Prince Hans, & Princesses, with Queen & Mrs Potts)

End of Song all exit Prince is last to leave and as he exits, Ariel enters singing :

Ariel: Someday I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me Where troubles melt like lemon drops and way above the chimney tops is where you’ll find me (Back below the sea, as she is singing the others enter)

Lenny Lemon drops & Chimney Tops, it’s under the sea, that’s where I should find you.

Ariel Can’t I just have one day on land before I come of age?

Lenny No, you know you can’t. It’s not allowed.

Ariel Just one day, that’s all I’m asking for, Please Lenny,

Lenny No, No, No, No, No!

Ariel But I’ve heard the Prince singing and I’m just longing to meet him. Please Comfort



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Comfort Don’t do this to me Ariel. (aside to Lenny) You do realise that Prince Hans is meeting more Princesses every day, and one of these days one of them may win his heart as well as his hand, why shouldn’t it be our Ariel?

Lenny You are a soft touch, she has to wait until she comes of age

Comfort We may not have that long. You should have seen Prince Hans and Belle dancing and romancing together.

Lenny And how do you know that

Comfort I stayed on the beach a bit longer than I should and got trapped in a tide pool.

Lenny But if she did meet Prince Hans and fall in love, what would we do then? She may never come back to us

Comfort They all have to fly the nest at some point

Lenny Should we help her boys and girls?

Comfort Do you think Prince Hans would fall in love with our little mermaid?

Persil You can’t allow this. It is far too dangerous. Father would never forgive you.

Ariel (to Lenny & Comfort) Are you going to help me? Please?

Lenny There might be a way, I say might, but NO ,Persil is right, it is far too dangerous.– and yet, Bold & Daz, go and look in the tinderbox for a pair of Bright Red Shoes.

Comfort Not the red shoes – what if the wicked witch finds out?

Witch What if the wicked witch finds out WHAT

Persil Ariel, listen to me, it isn’t worth it,

Ariel Persil, my dearest sister, I’m not like you. You belong here, under the sea and one day you will make a beautiful Mer-‐Queen, but I need to take my chance on land.

Witch So the little mer-‐maid wants a sense of adventure. Do you think I’m going to stop her? NO! Give her the Red Shoes, and when they have cut her feet to ribbons she will be happy to return them to me – if she survives.

Ariel I will survive, and I will meet my Prince and I will return and tell you all about it.

Fairy Is there nothing we can do to persuade you to stay here with us. This is our home, under the sea, this is YOUR home.

SONG: Group

Under the Sea (led by principals )

Back on land in Walsall Tailors Shop Thumbelina and Dill enter talking to audience, a few tailors are on stage, spinning



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& weaving the imaginary thread into cloth under instruction from Moss & Bros.

Thumbelina Hello boys & girls, are you enjoying the show?

Dill This is the life, now don’t forget to warn us if you see the Emperor or his daughter. We have to look busy if they are around.

Thumbelina Talking of which, what are you all doing?

Moss Stella, Mary, Get that cloth over here; John, put more thread on the loom.

Bros Lawrence, the warp goes Wup and Down and Calvin, the Weft goes weft to right. Gok, be careful with the material, don’t crease it, you would never wear an outfit with creases.

Moss (to Thumbelina)

You’ve got to help us; your plan has been so successful, that now EVERYONE thinks they can see the most incredible material.

Bros And now all of the top Fashion Designers want to get involved, it’s wearing us out!

Thumbelina Then the sooner we finish the outfits the better.

Audience Dilly Ding Dilly Dong

Dill Looks like the natives are getting restless, Dilly Ding Dilly Dong to you too. Ooh you mean (interrupted by fanfare)

Thumbelina Good Evening your excellency, so lovely to see you in our busy workshop

Mayor His Excellency and the Lady Godiva demand to see their new outfits. Where are they? (looking around for them)

Dill Why, they are hanging up ready to be collected, Can’t you see them?

Mayor (Business as they look at the wrong outfits) Over here? (shaking of heads); here? (shaking heads)

Moss Bring the outfits for his Excellency & Lady Godiva.

Bros Your excellency what do you think?

Emperor Is this one mine?

Thumbelina Your excellency loves to joke with us; but this dress is for your beautiful daughter

Emperor (hesitantly)

So, Is this one mine?

Bros Of course it is Your Excellency, see how it hangs,

Moss Suits you sir,

Emperor (gaining confidence)Why yes, and the colours are so majestic



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Lady Godiva (whispers to Emperor) Daddy, I’m so worried, I still don’t think I can see it.

Emperor You stupid girl, of course you can see it, do you want them to think we are idiots?

Lady Godiva (whispers to Emperor) But daddy, what if Prince Hans can’t see it.

Emperor He is a Prince; of course he will be able to see it. Now for goodness sake admire

your beautiful dress.

Thumbelina Is there a problem sir? Is the style not to your liking? Or the colour?

Emperor No, no, we are just taken aback by their beauty.

Dill Would you like to try them on or shall we pack them away for you. Time is of the essence if you are to travel all the way to the Emerald Kingdom of Prince Hans.

Emperor Indeed, indeed, we will have them packed. See to it at once.

Godiva But Daddy, who will help us dress in them? Our servants are far too stupid.

Emperor Hmm, not quite as stupid as you look. My loyal subjects pack all of your cases; you will ALL be travelling with us.

Dill We’d better get the ‘Flying Trunk’ out to help us with all of this luggage then.

Thumbelina I love an adventure. Look out Emerald City, here we come.

SONG: (Group) HEADLONG (Thumbelina, Dill, Emperor, Godiva, Mayor, Tailors) Ensemble scene under the sea with Ariel, initially with her mer-‐family and then

joined by crab & lobster for comedy scene heading for Emerald City Persil Ariel, you will be careful won’t you, and take care to get back on time – you can

only survive for one day on land in those Red Shoes.

Ariel Persil, don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.

Fairy If you’re late the red shoes will stick forever to your feet and cut them to shreds, then you won’t be able to walk or swim.

Ariel Fairy, I won’t be late, I promise you.

Fairy What’s so special about their Emerald City? What’s wrong with our Emerald City?

Ariel I’m only going for a day! Now why don’t you help me pack my overnight bag? Daz, Bold bring me the Tinderbox. (a treasure chest full of land objects)

SONG (Ensemble) Part of that World (Ariel solo, with mer-‐family ensemble) End of song Comfort & Lenny join them as they are all saying a tearful goodbye

Lenny What do you think this is – a Soap Opera – stop crying – you’ll flood the ocean.



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Comfort Ariel, are you ready?

Lenny We’ll go with you, at least to the edge of the beach

Comfort We’ve been that far before, find some rock pools, we’ll be ok

Lenny What’s to loose

Comfort Toulose – that’s a town in France – we can’t go that far

Lenny No – What have we got To Loose

Comfort Well my shells getting a bit too loose, I think I’ve lost weight with all of the worry

Lenny To Lose, To Lose,

Comfort Why do we need two loos? we can just pee in the ocean

Lenny Wash your mouth out – your making me blush

Comfort That reminds me, why did the lobster blush – because the sea-‐weed

And what did the sea say to the sand – nothing – he just gave a little wave.

Lenny Talking of which, we have someone to wave goodbye to – Good Luck Ariel – we will be waiting here for you to return. Put these on your ‘feet’ (giving her the Red Shoes) and Take a deep breath, you are about to take your first steps on ‘land’.

As Ariel walks towards the ‘Emerald City’ Comfort & Lenny return to the sea, Thumbelina & party arrive with cases also heading to Emerald City, Princes group already there to greet everyone.

SONG (FC)

One Short Day (led by Ariel, Godiva, principals & chorus)

ACT TWO

SONG (Ensemble) DAYS (Ensemble sung), during song Ariel arrives bedraggled at the Palace, Mrs

Potts takes pity on her and lets her into the Palace to have a bed for the night.

Ariel:

Good Evening, Is this where Prince Hans lives? I would like to meet him please

Mrs Potts: He does live here but he is out in the city tonight.

Ariel: But I have travelled so very far and I have to return home tomorrow.

Mrs Potts: You’re in no state to travel anywhere else tonight you poor dear; Come on in and I will make a bed up for you, it’s our last one.

Ariel: You are so very kind, but I don’t want to be any trouble.

Mrs Potts: Nonsense, you are most welcome. This way.



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SONG: (FC) Hooked on A Feeling Full Company (during which Ariel can be seen on the screen

tossing and turning in the Bed) End of song, all exit, except Mrs Potts and Chip.

Mrs Potts Good Morning Little Chip, I wonder how our guests have slept, ‘Like a Log’ no doubt.

Ariel (enters, quite agitated), Excuse me, but can you show me how to get out of here.

Mrs Potts Are you leaving already? Most of our guests stay for more than one night. Did you sleep well

Ariel I don’t mean to sound ungracious, but I hardly slept a wink. All those mattresses and someone had left a stupid little pea under the bottom one, it was so uncomfortable, here (she hands the pea back to Mrs Potts) Now I really need to get back to my family, I’m terribly sorry, but which way is the beach. (Little chip points in the direction of the Beach). Ariel exits singing ‘Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly Birds fly over the rainbow why then oh why can’t I)

Mrs Potts Come along Little Chip, we must find the Queen at once! (Mrs Potts & Chip exit as Queen and Prince enter the other side)

Hans I tell you Mother, I heard her singing outside, I have been walking the streets all night looking for her and I’ve just heard her again, she can’t be far away.

Queen We had a strange girl turn up late last night, all bedraggled; looked like she had been caught in a rain shower. She looked in a very sorry state. Mrs Potts took pity on her and made her a bed for the night.

Hans Where is she now? She must be my princess.

Queen Hans, she is probably still sleeping and she didn’t look anything like a princess.

Prince Mother, No-‐one here ‘looks like a princess’.

Queen Shush, our guests will hear you,

Hans Hear what? How they have to find a Pea in the Bed to prove they are a Princess.

Queen Oh that’s it; Let the Cat out of the Bag.

Hans Or the Pea out of the Bed. (Addressing the princesses) Why do you think mother asks ‘Did you sleep well’? She’s not being polite; she’s waiting for one of you to spot the pea Mrs Potts has hidden under your mattress! That’s how you prove you are a Princess, and that’s how she chooses my bride.

Princesses Ohh! No-‐one told us, I did not know that (various muttered comments)

Mrs Potts (Mrs Potts & Chip enter all excited) Your Majesty, I have the most exciting news

Queen What is it Mrs Potts, we are in the middle of something very important



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Mrs Potts Begging your pardon your majesty, but that young girl we took in last night, she left the castle first thing this morning, all distressed, saying she hadn’t slept a wink, something ‘hard’ under the mattress, and gives me this PEA. I know looks can be deceptive but I think we have found our princess!

Hans I told you -‐ where is she now?

Mrs Potts She left for the Beach.

Hans Then that is where I will find her.

Cinders But what about us, I wanted to be a princess.

Hans Cinders, you are always doing good deeds; one day someone will repay your kindness and you will meet your Prince Charming

Aurora I have always dreamed of what my Prince will look like

Hans My own Sleeping Beauty, Aurora, keep dreaming and maybe, someday, you will be woken from your dream by your own Prince.

Belle They sound just like the stories from my book of fairy-‐tales; Oh my goodness, The Princess and the Pea,

Hans Belle, you truly are a beauty with a heart of gold, but don’t be deceived by outward appearances and you will surely find your prince

Belle I thought I HAD found him. Maybe not all Fairy Tales have a Happy Ending. We have spent all of this time trying to prove we are princesses worthy of a Prince and now a new girl turns up and what are we left with?

SONG Group: New Girl In Town (Aurora, Belle and Cinders to lead.) End of song Prince is left on stage,

Hans: Boys and girls, can you help me, I know my princess came this way. Did she go into the sea again? You don’t still think she’s a mermaid do you? How am I ever going to find her? I’ve no idea what she looks like, but I would recognise her voice anywhere. That’s it, I could organise a singing competition, one where you judge them purely on their singing voice. Now what could we call it? I know, we could call it ‘The Voice’ What do you think? See you later, lots to do, Bye boys and girls.

Scene Back Under The Sea

Persil I’m so worried about Ariel, she should have been back by now. Why did I agree to let Comfort and Lenny take her onto land?

Fairy We could hardly stop her, she knows her own mind. (Lenny & Comfort enter)

Persil & Fairy Where’s Ariel?

Comfort We couldn’t wait any longer, the tide went out and our rock pool was drying up.



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Lenny That reminds me, What did one rock pool say to the other rock pool – show me your muscles

Comfort What did the beach say to the wave -‐ Long Tide No Sea

Persil I’m glad you two find it so amusing

Sea Witch enters with squid-‐i-‐winks

Witch Well, well, well, and how is our little Mer-‐family today. Ooh, we seem to be one short, How Tragic! It appears our little mermaid has not returned safely from her adventure on land. HOW SAD! Why, I feel tears welling up in my eyes. According to my sea witch’s sea watch she has precisely 30 seconds to return before those pretty red shoes take control of her feet forever, never to swim in the sea again. (Squid-‐i-‐winks laughing, Lenny & Comfort booing)

Ariel Singing off-‐stage Someday I’ll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far behind me

Persil It’s Ariel, she is back,

Fairy And just in time.

Witch Oh Crustacean!

Ariel Hello everybody, what’s wrong

Persil You had 30 seconds to spare, goodness knows what damage those red shoes would have done.

Fairy Still you’re back now, and at least you have got that adventure out of your system

Ariel Oh no – I have to go back again. I know where the Prince lives, in the Emerald Palace, in the Emerald City. It was so exciting, but I didn’t get chance to see him, I just need one day more.

Lenny One Day More!

Comfort Another Day, Another Destiny

Persil No. You’re lucky you survived one day as you aren’t of age yet.

Fairy You can’t use the red shoes again, they are possessed, they will destroy you.

Comfort Is there nothing we can do, she looks so upset.

Witch Maybe I can help you

Ariel You, you would help me.

Witch Why, of course I will help you. We don’t want you to spend your life pining away under the sea, do we, my little squid-‐i-‐winks.



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Persil Don’t trust her Ariel

Ariel But she is the only one who can help me

Fairy There will be a catch, honestly, don’t trust her

Ariel Do you think I should trust her Boys and girls?

Witch Don’t listen to them, they are just jealous, look at her (pointing to someone in

audience) – she wants the prince for herself. Would you like to try some of my Magic Potion? No not you (to audience again). This potion has been specially brewed for our Little Singing Mermaid; drink it and it will keep you alive on land just long enough to meet your Prince.

Ariel Is that all I have to do? But what happens once I have met my Prince? Will I need to drink some more?

Witch There is only one portion of potion, it allows you to live long enough to meet your Prince. You then have ONE DAY MORE to earn his love or you must return to the sea for ever. (aside as nothing more than Sea-‐Foam!)

Ariel I’m sure I can win the love of my Prince, and if not, I suppose I will just have to return and live with my mermaid sisters again, that should be ok, shouldn’t it boys and girls.

SONG (Group) Black Magic (Little Mix) led by Witch & Ariel during which she drinks the potion

End of Song all exit except principals Little Mermaid is seen struggling Ariel My throat – it is burning – I can’t breathe – I can hardly speak

Witch Oh dear, you forgot to ask how you should pay for the potion. Now let me see, Ah

yes, one portion of potion equals: ONE VOICE; that’s it; you get the potion, I get the beautiful singing voice.

Ariel But I don’t want to give you my voice

Witch Too late, you drank the potion, the singing mermaid sings no more ‘Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, there’s a prince that I’ve heard of’ That reminds me, that Prince of yours is holding a singing competition to find his bride. You’re sure to win it with that pretty voice of yours – Oh I forgot – you’ve just given it to me!

Ariel Croaks what am I going to do, I can’t breathe; I need to get on land.

Comfort and Lenny Come on Ariel, we’ll help you All exit to Witch singing over the rainbow Thumbelina So here we are at last boys and girls in the great Emerald City, home to Prince

Hans, Queen Tiana’s son.

Dill The Lady Godiva and The Emperor of Walsall have gone to try on their beautiful



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new clothes

Thumbelina You will remember to give them a big cheer when they arrive, won’t you.

Dill Here they are now.

The Emperor’s entourage enter, the buglers, followed by the Mayor of Walsall and the Tailors group

Mayor Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome the Emperor of Walsall and his most beautiful daughter the Lady Godiva.

Godiva I am so excited; Daddy, is my dress really the Most Incredible Thing? Please tell me what it looks like. I still can’t see it.

Emperor You Stupid Girl. My loyal subjects, as some of you will be too stupid to appreciate our beautiful outfits I would like to invite Moss & Bros to describe them to you.

Moss The Emperor is sporting a cloak designed by Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen; Breeches by Gok Wan, and a shirt of the finest silk from the John Rocha Collection.

Bros The beautiful Lady Godiva is wearing a stunning off the shoulder dress designed by Stella McCartney, with matching accessories provided by Mary Quant.

Dill All undergarments from Calvin Klein!

Lady Godiva (aside) I think I must look beautiful.

Emperor Which way to the Emerald Palace?

Moss I think our job is done! There’s no way the Prince is going to marry her.

Bros There must be lots of places we can find work in the city.

Thumbelina We’ll go with them to the Palace. You two make a discreet exit.

Song: (Group) Dedicated follower of fashion (led by Emperor and Tailors) with audience participation on (Oh yes he is, Oh no he’s not) end of song all exit.

Inside the Palace Queen Oh Mrs Potts, it’s very quiet here without the girls

Mrs Potts Why did Prince Hans dismiss them?

Queen And for a Princess he has never even met

Mrs Potts Do you think his Voice Competition will work

Bell Rings Mrs Potts Chip, the CCTV, see who’s at the door, maybe it’s another Princess.

Mayor May I introduce to you the Emperor of Walsall and his most beautiful daughter

The Lady Godiva



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Queen Let them in Chip, they obviously haven’t heard the news yet.

The Emperor’s party enter, Fanfare from Buglers, Emperor and Lady Godiva, Thumbelina and Dill at the back. Queen, Mrs Potts and Chip gape at them Open Mouthed.

Emperor Your Majesty, may I introduce you to my most beautiful daughter, The Lady Godiva, she is (starts to falter as he sees the reaction of the others) very much hoping to be introduced to your son, Prince Hans

Queen My goodness me, what a fine specimen of a man we have here

Emperor Why thank you your majesty, but may I just introduce my most beautiful daughter

Godiva Daddy, stop, something is wrong, I think we should leave

Emperor Wait child, they are just astounded by your natural beauty

Godiva That is what is worrying me! Daddy, no-‐one has ever stared at us like this before.

Chip runs up to Mrs Potts and shouts in her ear (mic) Chip Mother, they aren’t wearing any clothes!

Mrs Potts I can see that, someone give the poor child a wrap

Queen It certainly is an unusual way to show your daughter’s ‘natural’ beauty

Thumbelina I think that what they are trying to prove is that all of the money in the world

can’t buy true beauty

Dill And that is why they have chosen to present themselves to you dressed only in – THEIR UNDERGARMENTS!

Godiva So who’s too stupid now? I told you something was wrong. I told you I couldn’t see it.

Queen Well it is certainly most unusual; but I’m afraid my son has already set his heart on his bride. However, I’m sure a girl with your daughter’s natural beauty will soon find a Prince worthy of her.

Godiva Do you really think I’m beautiful

Chip (to his mother)

I think she’s beautiful!

Thumbelina walks to Chip & Mrs Potts Thumbelina & Mrs Potts

You’re too young (as they say this together they stare at each other, each has a walnut pendant around their neck)

Thumbelina Mother!

Mrs Potts Thumbelina! Oh it can’t be, I never thought I would see you again. I’ve been carrying around this walnut shell you used to sleep in, but, How you have grown!



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Thumbelina Everybody says that! I’m all grown up now, and I’m married, this is my husband.

Dill Dilly Ding, Dilly Dong, what a turnaround of events, lovely to meet you

Mrs Potts And this is Little Chip, your brother

Queen How I love a happy ending. Mrs Potts, make up some beds, and without the peas. You must all stay here as our guests, it’s a long time since we had such distinguished visitors, and since the girls left we have so many rooms to fill.

Emperor Your majesty is so kind, but we can’t stay, it appears we have nothing to wear.

Queen We shouldn’t let a little thing like that stand in our way.

Song (ensemble) Love is an Open Door (Comedy ensemble, Queen & Emperor, Mrs Potts & Mayor, Godiva & Little Chip, possibly Thumbelina & Dill)

End of song, all exit, except Thumbelina and Dill if they were in it, if not they enter now. With Lenny & Comfort having a similar conversation)

Thumbelina So boys and girls it seems as if everyone is going to get their Happy Ending except for poor Ariel.

Lenny Poor Ariel, She needs to win the heart of the Prince or she will be forever turned

into sea-‐foam. You heard what the witch said.

Comfort And she can’t win the hand of the Prince if she can’t sing, if only we had a way to capture a beautiful voice and give it to the Little Mermaid

Thumbelina Boys and girls our Little Mermaid is in real trouble. For those of you who have

read the tale of the Little Mermaid, you will know there is no Happy Ending.

Dill Spoiler alert: cover your ears if you don’t want to know what happens in the story, but she really does get turned into sea-‐foam.

Thumbelina Boys and girls we can’t let that happen to our Little Mermaid can we? I said we can’t let that happen to our Little Mermaid – can we. This is the Most Incredible Panto, there must be some way we can save the Little Mermaid.

Dill We could get the tailors to help her; they could make her the most beautiful dress to wear to impress Prince Hans. Only he won’t be looking at her, she has to be able to sing!

Thumbelina So we have to find someone who can sing for her. Hey, you two down there, yes

you two, friends of the Little Mermaid,

Lenny & Comfort Who – us ?

Thumbelina & Dill Yes – you,

Thumbelina If we all work together, I’m sure we can help the Little Mermaid. Boys and girls,



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will you help us? I bet lots of you can sing. Moms and dads, you can help as well.

Lenny We can use our magic sea-‐shells to capture their voices

Dill Or – we could use our magic microphones!

Comfort Let’s use both.

Thumbelina We need you all to sing your hearts out to help us save the Little Mermaid. Can you all do that?

SONG (AP) Somewhere over the Rainbow (audience participation,)

Thumbelina That’s brilliant boys and girls, thank you so much for helping us.

Dill We had better hurry now and take these voices to the competition. Let’s hope the tailors have made her a nice outfit.

(as they exit, the tailors enter with the contestants for ‘The Voice’ Moss: Roll up, roll up, form an orderly queue. Warm up your voices, one of you lucky

ladies is going to capture a prince tonight.

Bros: Why not dress to impress with one of our latest designer dresses?

Persil Is this where the Voice competition is taking place?

Cinders Yes, join the queue; let me clean a spot for you.

Fairy That’s a pretty dress

Belle Thank you, a team of expert tailors has arrived from the Great British Sewing Bee, making the most incredible outfits. Prince Hans is bound to choose one of us now.

Cinders Have you forgotten, he isn’t going to be looking at us, just listening to us.

Belle It hasn’t stopped you getting a posh new frock.

Aurora I wish he would hurry up, I am so sleepy.

Moss Ladies & gentlemen, Please welcome Prince Hans, Queen Tiana’s son, as he bids

to choose his singing princess.

Persil & Fairy rush onto stage to join Ariel as Hans takes his seat facing the audience.

Ariel (croaking) How did you two get here

Persil You didn’t think we would leave you on your own?

Fairy We used a bit of Sea-‐Fairy Magic, I like your dress.

Ariel (Croaking) Thank you, I wish you could sing for me.



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Witch enters and joins the queue, pushing in front of Ariel Witch I do hope you weren’t going to start without me

Persil What is she doing here

Fairy Come to gloat no doubt

Witch You don’t mind if I take your place in the queue do you? After all, I did take your

voice, and now I’m going to use it to take your Prince as well.

Ariel (Croaking) It’s useless, I can hardly speak let alone sing,

Witch Then save your croaking for a FROG, it’s the best you are going to get for a Prince.

Belle Shh, the competition has started.

Bros Next

Aurora I know you I walked with you Once Upon a Dream (yawning as she sings)

Hans Sounds like you’re sleeping not dreaming. Next

Cinders A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.

Hans Are they all dreaming and sleeping? Next

Belle There’s something sweet, and almost kind, But he was mean and he was coarse and unrefined, And now he’s dear, and so I’m sure, I wonder why I didn’t see it there before. (interrupted by Witch who delivers line over the singing)

Witch Too much information there, hurry up, let me have a go, it’s my turn. Somewhere over the Rainbow Way Up High,

Hans Oh my goodness, this is it, it’s her song; but it doesn’t sound quite right. Boys and girls, can you help me, is it her? If I turn round I’ll have to marry her, should I turn around? (shouts of NO!)

Thumbelina, Dill, Lenny & Comfort rush in and with Persil & Fairy push Ariel onto the stage. Sing Ariel, Sing, you can do it (holding up the sea shells)

Ariel Starts to join in with the witch and as she gets stronger, witch starts to get croaky

Hans That’s it, that’s her, I can hear her! Shall I turn round now boys and girls?(YES!) But which one is it? What! A mermaid? Does that mean I have to eat my crown? Prince turns around

SONG: (Ensemble) I’m Yours / Over The Rainbow / One Voice (led by Ariel & Hans, but could build up with other principals, cast)

Hans Are you really a mermaid?



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Ariel I’m afraid so

Hans But you have feet – will you change back into a mermaid

Ariel No it’s too late for that. The witch tricked me into giving her my voice in exchange for coming to the Emerald City to find my Prince.

Hans And have you found your Prince

Ariel I hope so; otherwise I have to return to the ocean as nothing more than sea-‐foam.

Hans Well we can’t let that happen, can we boys and girls, because now I’ve found my Princess and I’m going to ask her to marry me. There’s only one problem – if she says yes, then I’ll have to eat my crown!

Queen Welcome to the family, Princess Ariel, I assume you are going to say yes?

Witch Foiled, but I can still spoil your happiness. You will never be able to return to the ocean to see your family. (croaking)

Thumbelina You are in no position to make threats, here on land, with no voice,

Dill And no friends, except for your little squid-‐i-‐winks back in the sea. You know you could try to make amends.

Thumbelina You could allow our under-‐the-‐sea friends to have a day on land to celebrate the wedding. Maybe if you grant some wishes for others, someone will do something good for you. We have a whole team of tailors backstage, creating some of the most incredible costumes for our grand finale. Maybe they can find something to brighten up your costume; we have the most incredible thread, only visible to the most intelligent people…

Dill Did anyone ever tell you, you talk too much!

Finale Shut Up and Dance With Me

Bows Under The Sea

Dance Off Can’t Stop this Feeling

final script - the most incredible panto -...

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