FACS 56 life management

getting along with others

begin with yourself

successful relationships are based on beliefs and values that support a positive self-esteem

three values that contribute to good relationships are:

•trust•respect•empathy

begin with yourself

trust:you can rely on someone else and they can rely on you

respect:you value the other person and they value you

empathy:you can experience another person’s feelings or ideas as if they were your own

conflicts and your values

people value different things—sometimes do not agree on what is right and what is wrong

most people do not give much thought to what is right or wrong until they are involved in a conflict of values

conflicts and your values

laws and rules of society set a minimum standard to follow—ethical standards may be set higher

when faced with an ethical dilemma ALWAYS take the time to clarify your values

determine how you feel about the situation and what effect the questionable behavior has on others

conflicts and your values

life management skills that can help you with conflicts:

•value clarification•setting standards•communication skills•active listening techniques•assertiveness

nurturing good relationships

with some attention to the needs of others, most of our relationships can be successful

1.really listen for underlying meaning—even though you are busy, give your FULL attention

nurturing good relationships

with some attention to the needs of others, most of our relationships can be successful

2.building relationships requires focus of BOTH individuals—people who focus on personal growth can handle negative feedback constructively

• learn from negative feedback• realize that you don’t have to agree• consider the source• ask for specific information• think about it

nurturing good relationships

3.important to set CLEAR boundaries• physical—the right to control your body

and your possessions• emotional boundaries—the right to

respectful treatment from others• intellectual boundaries—right to express

ideas and opinions• spiritual boundaries—the right to stand

up for your values and beliefs

once we set the boundaries we need to be assertive and enforce them

conflict is normal

it is normal and predictable that once two people have spent some time together they will disagree about something

remember—everyone loses in a power struggle

conflict can have healthy and productive results if handled in a fair assertive manner

four aspects of successful negotiation

when conflict arises good communication skills & boundaries are extremely important

1.separate the people from the problem• see ourselves on the same side—attacking the

problem; not one another2.focus on interests not positions

• find areas of common agreement3.invent options for mutual gain

• brainstorm alternatives that allow each side to get what they need most

4.base results on objective criteria• agreed upon by all parties—expert opinion, law

conflict resolution options

as we go through the different options, ask yourself if you have ever used each option

•dominance—one side gets its own way

•voluntary submission—one side voluntarily gives in to the other

•conversion—one side persuades the other & both parties are satisfied

conflict resolution options

•accepting differences—both sides accept the right of the other to choose & make an independent decision

•compromise—choose an option acceptable to both sides; not the first choice of either party

•integration—all parties strive to find mutual gains; arrive at a new, better solution to the problem

participation activity:what would you do? pg. 214

…form groups of four…each person in the group gets to play a certain role: bus driver, bus company manager, elderly woman, reporter…read the situation…complete the assigned task

FACS 56 life management

functioning in groups

groups: an overview

sometimes it is thrust upon you…sometimes you volunteer

some last for only minutes…others will last a lifetime

understanding how they work can help you to be an effective groupmember and expand your leadership skills

groups: an overview

group dynamics is the study of how people interact in groups

how do you interact?

groups consist of two or more people that consciously interact with the intent of working to achieve a goal

groups: an overview

groups have:•roles for their members•norms and standards of behavior•communication patterns•a degree of cohesiveness

the more explicitly defined, the more formal

formal groups: families, businesses, schoolsinformal groups: movie audience, friends at a party

what groups are you currently a member of?

participating in groups: rules, norms & goals

think about the last group you joined—were your first few interactions awkward?

most likely you were observing the group dynamics and analyzing the roles & norms in order to fit in better

participating in groups: rules, norms & goals

roleset of expected behaviors for a particular position

normsstandards or rules that measure behavior

you will be more comfortable if you choose behaviors that suit both the group & your role within the group

participating in groups: rules, norms & goals

all groups have goals—stated or not

cooperative goals—people in group work together to achieve common objective

competitive—people work against one another to be the winner and gain the reward

many times you will encounter a goal that is both cooperative & competitive

examples?

participating in groups: rules, norms & goals

cohesiveness is the emotional bonding that exists between group members cohesiveness

connectedness separateness

too connected—lose objectivitytoo separate—lack of commitment & interest

balanced middle position is optimal

analyzing group structure and behavior

you can improve how you interact with others through analysis

•how are goals established?•are they cooperative? competitive? both?•who is the leader? dominant? controlling?•is there a dependent worker?•a facilitator?•a few who seem to run the whole show?•a supportive leader who shares authority?•what are the norms? rules?

observe carefully

leading in groups

a leader has more than a title

each of us influences and leads people around us through our words and actions

a leader has a vision and is able to communicate and share it with others

leadership is a set of behaviors, beliefs and values that enable one person to persuade others to act

family compared to other groups

unique—first group ever, membership is not voluntary, continues for a lifetime and beyond

roles and norms of family change and evolve as the age and needs of the members change

family compared to other groups

the goal of family is not profit—but quality of life—resource allocation based on different goals and values than those of business

operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year…much more than any other group

most cohesive group to which you will belong

homework activity:roles, roles, roles pg. 220

…use the chart on page 221 to identify a minimum of 12 different roles that you play…match each role to a group…identify at least one expectation or norm that goes with each role