Expressing Grief andProclaiming Hope:

Toward a Proper Hymn ofthe Day for Funerals

BRIAN WENTZEL

Imagine this: you are in your car and a song that you know from years ago comeson the radio. All of a sudden your mind is flooded. You remember the time in

your life when you heard this song all the time. You feel that particular feeling thatthis song always invokes. You think of how it seems as though the words of thechorus were written just for you.

Music has this kind of connecting power. Indeed, a particular piece of musiccan serve as a kind of symbol, carrying with it emotions, memories, thoughts, andother associations. What if we could harness that power for our funerals? In thisarticle I propose a way to do this: intentionally selecting a funeral hymn of the day.Doing this will enhance both a congregation’s funeral services and its members’understanding of the Christian hope in the face of death.

PREACHING IN SONG

The uniqueness of Lutheran hymnody lies in the fact that from the very beginning

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By choosing a hymn of the day to be sung regularly at funerals, congregationscan truly preach to one another and to those who grieve. An appropriate funeralhymn of the day will possess context, substance, and ownership; that is, it will bea well-known hymn that is responsive to the day’s texts or themes in a theologi-cally substantive way.

it has been an important part of the liturgy, not…a general Christian song looselyattached to worship.1

Before getting into the specifics of funeral services, it is worth taking a detourto consider the hymn of the day (hereafter HoD). The HoD is perhaps the greatestgift of Lutheranism to the liturgical tradition. “Already in the 16th century a fixedorder of de tempore or gradual hymns for every Sunday and festival of the churchyear was established.…With the substitution of a congregational hymn for the an-cient gradual psalm the reformers created something entirely new. The congrega-tional hymn was elevated to the same rank as the psalm in the mass.”2

Thus, the HoD is different from a “sermon hymn” in that its identity involvesmore than merely a location in the liturgy. It is an integral part of the propers forthe day, standing beside the assigned readings, prayer of the day, proper preface,and the like. Because of this, the HoD truly belongs to the people and is a way forthe assembly to preach—to each other and to themselves. As the rubric in Evangel-ical Lutheran Worship (hereafter ELW) puts it, “the assembly stands to proclaimthe word of God in song.”3 This expression of the priesthood of all believers is atthe core of the Lutheran HoD and is often manifested in alternation practice, inwhich assembly, choir, and instruments take turns stanza by stanza.

In order to fulfill this function, a HoD needs to have a few particular qualitiesthat not all hymns possess: context, substance, and ownership. That is, it needs tobe a well-known hymn that is responsive to the day’s texts or themes in a theologi-cally substantive way.

First, a HoD needs to respond to the day’s texts so that it, along with the ser-mon and the other propers, flows from Scripture. In rare cases, a HoD will respondto a day’s theme rather than specifically to the texts (such as an All Saints Day HoDabout saints rather than the Beatitudes). This is the question of context.

Second, in order to fulfill its proclamatory function, a HoD must be theologi-cally substantive. A HoD needs to do more than just repeat the texts; it needs towrestle with them, contextualize them, and apply them, just as a good sermonwould do. This is the question of substance.

Finally, a HoD should be well known. This does not preclude the introduc-tion of new hymns as HoDs; however, such introductions should proceed with the

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1Carl Halter and Carl Schalk, A Handbook of Church Music (St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House,1978) 18.

2Edward Klammer, “De tempore hymn,” in Key Words in Church Music, ed. Carl Schalk (St. Louis: Con-cordia Publishing House, 1978) 163.

3Evangelical Lutheran Worship (Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress, 2006) 281.

a hymn of the day needs to be a well-known hymn that isresponsive to the day’s texts or themes in a theologicallysubstantive way

goal that the new hymn eventually become part of the congregation’s core reper-toire. In order to truly “preach” a hymn to one another, members of an assemblyneed to have made that hymn their own. This is the question of ownership.

In the twenty-first century there is no longer a common “fixed order” ofhymns of the day even for Lutherans. But many congregations do follow their ownHoD “lectionary,” and most congregations have at least vestiges of the practice,such as singing “Silent Night” every Christmas Eve and “Jesus Christ is Risen To-day” every Easter.

AVOIDING DEATH

Do not stand at my grave and cry,I am not there; I did not die.4

These are the last lines of the popular poem by Mary Frye, “Do Not Stand atMy Grave and Weep,” which is read at many funerals. In their denial of the inevita-bility of grief and the reality of death (and thus the possibility of resurrection), theyexpress the antithesis of the Christian law-and-gospel hope. On the other hand,they express very well the modern American way of dealing with death, which as-signs professionals the jobs of dealing with the dying (in nursing homes and hos-pice) and the dead (in funeral homes) so that we don’t have to. American funeralsare often construed as “celebrations of life,” which, like the above poem, make noroom for the hard message of the law—“you are dust, and to dust you shall return”(Gen 3:19)—and thus leave no room for the gospel, the hope of resurrection.

In my experience, most congregations have a few hymns that are sung atmost, if not all, funerals. Even though not always sung at the HoD location in theservice, these become in effect the hymn (or hymns) of the day for funerals. Theexact hymns vary by congregation but tend to closely track “favorite” hymns.These de facto funeral HoDs, while not bad in themselves, reinforce the Americanview of death by the simple fact that most of them deal with death either superfi-cially or not at all.

Since 2006 (when the congregation I serve acquired ELW), five hymns havebeen sung more than twice as often as any others at our funeral services: “AmazingGrace” (#779); “Guide Me Ever, Great Redeemer” (#618); “How Great Thou Art”(#856); “A Mighty Fortress” (isometric version, #504); and “On Eagle’s Wings”(#787). The list in your congregation might be similar. These are good andwell-loved hymns, but they are not suitable to be the HoD for a funeral, the vehiclefor the assembly to proclaim the gospel hope in the midst of death.

These five hymns all pass the test of ownership with flying colors. On thequestions of context and substance, however, they fall short. There is no one set ofScripture readings for funerals, so in this case the HoD (if it is to be used at morethan one funeral) will need to respond to the themes of the day rather than specifi-

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4Mary E. Frye, “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.” See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Stand_at_My_Grave_and_Weep (accessed November 1, 2013).

cally to the texts. According to Martin Luther, funerals should include “comfortinghymns of the forgiveness of sins, of rest, sleep, life, and of the resurrection of de-parted Christians.”5 One might add to that list the acknowledgment of death andthe reality of grief, both of which hardly needed to be mentioned in Luther’s con-text but do in ours.

The five hymns in question are all mainly concerned with other topics, thatis, they are addressing different contexts and thus do not have time to deal substan-tively with funeral themes. “Amazing Grace” (in the ELW version at least) and“How Great Thou Art” both skip right over death, either to a vision of everlastinglife (“When we’ve been there ten thousand years…”) or to the second coming(“When Christ shall come…and take me home…”). “Guide Me Ever, Great Re-deemer” asks for guidance on the singer’s own journey and asks for a safe landingupon “my” passing over Jordan. “On Eagle’s Wings” is a nice paraphrase of Ps 91,but it is probably unhelpful at a funeral to sing that “though thousands fall aboutyou, near you it shall not come,” implying that somehow God’s promises didn’tapply to the deceased, who undeniably has fallen. “A Mighty Fortress” comes clos-est of these five to addressing the funeral context with substance in its theme of re-liance on God’s power in our weakness, and in its last lines: “Were they to take ourhouse, goods, honor, child, or spouse, though life be wrenched away, they cannotwin the day. The Kingdom’s our forever!” Even so, the main metaphor of thehymn—our being mostly passive spectators of a mighty struggle between super-natural beings—and its implicit directive to always be cheerful and confident (allthose exclamation points!) may not be what mourners in our churches most needto hear.

OUR BEST THEOLOGY

The hymn of the day is the principal opportunity for the assembly to express griefand proclaim hope in song.6

The death of a friend, family member, or even acquaintance moves people toconsider questions of the ultimate. What is the meaning of life? What happenswhen we die? Am I living the kind of life that I’d like to? It is incumbent upon thechurch to offer people our best theology at these times, neither giving pat answersnor avoiding hard questions. The message of Christian hope needs to be conveyedin a way that is honest, meaningful, and relevant. If this is true of funeral sermons,should it not also be true of funeral hymns, especially the HoD?

A funeral HoD should be relevant. It should sing of death and of grief, ad-dressing the occasion for which the assembly has gathered. This might seem hardor uncomfortable for some, but the Christian faith does have something to say

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5Martin Luther, “Preface to the Burial Hymns” (1542), in Luther’s Works, vol. 53, ed. Ulrich S. Leupold(Philadelphia: Fortress, 1965) 326.

6“Funeral,” in Evangelical Lutheran Worship: Leaders Desk Edition (Minneapolis: Augsburg Fortress,2006) 44.

about death and grief, and if we do not say it at a funeral, when shall we? More spe-cifically, it would be best if this hymn dealt with someone else’s death. That is, themany hymns that talk about “my” end to come are not as relevant as the few thatspeak of our reactions and God’s grace in the face of a loved one’s death. Relevancyalso requires that the hymn not be mired in an antiquated worldview to the extentthat it does not speak clearly to people today.

A funeral HoD should be meaningful. In The Courage to Be, Paul Tillichteases out three types of anxiety: anxiety of death, of guilt, and of meaninglessness.Tillich suggests that while these three types of anxiety are always interwoven, theanxiety of death predominated during ancient times, the anxiety of guilt during theMiddle Ages, and the anxiety of meaninglessness during modern times.7 Althoughthis book was published in 1952, and we are arguably not in the “modern” era any-more, this analysis is still compelling. It suggests that, even at a funeral, the mourn-ers’ main concern will not be about whether they themselves will die soon orwhether they will be “right with God” when they do. Instead, the mourners’ mainconcern will be about whether, given death, their life has any meaning at all. As ithappens, Christianity’s classical formulations arose during the ancient and medi-eval periods and so deal much more with death and sin (guilt) than with meaning.Let this be a challenge to us to be creative in our funeral preaching, whether thewords be spoken or sung.

A funeral HoD should be honest. This is not the occasion for clichés,half-truths, or empty assurances. We need to be able to admit that we do not knowfor sure what awaits us around the corner of death. We have trust and hope, yes,but not certainty. By acknowledging our own vulnerabilities, we open ourselves tothe brokenness of those who grieve and can partner with them in their journey offaith. As Søren Kierkegaard says, “Faith is the contradiction between the infinitepassion of inwardness and the objective uncertainty. If I am able to apprehend Godobjectively, I do not have faith; but because I cannot do this, I must have faith.”8

Honesty demands that both the infinite passion and the objective uncertainty arepreached at a funeral, including in the hymns.

Finally, a funeral hymn should express Christian hope. It would do no goodto sing only about death and grief; we need also to sing about rest, life, and the res-urrection, as Luther said. Life in the face of death; hope in the face of grief; meaning

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7Paul Tillich, The Courage to Be, 2nd ed. (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 2000) 40–63.8Søren Kierkegaard, Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments, vol. 1, trans. Howard V.

Hong and Edna H. Hong (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 1992) 204.

Christianity’s classical formulations arose during the ancient andmedieval periods and so deal much more with death and sin thanwith meaning. Let this be a challenge to us to be creative in ourfuneral preaching, whether the words be spoken or sung.

in the face of emptiness—this is the message that we can proclaim. At the sametime, we need to make sure that it is the Christian hope that we are preaching, notthe hope of a (Greek) immortal soul, or a (Manichean) release from an earthlyprison, or an (imagined) world in which all our dreams come true. These populardistortions usually will not find a place in our sermons but unfortunately are oftenfound in hymns.

OWNING THE SONG

Hymns are chosen with the expectation that everyone will sing.9

So far we have discussed the questions of context (relevancy) and substance(meaningfulness, honesty, the Christian hope). The question of ownership is justas important. The Christian Life: Baptism and Life Passages suggests that the HoDfor a funeral be “one the assembly can and will sing…[that] the assembly knowsand probably loves.”10 Even if we have found the perfect hymn text, unfamiliarityor difficulty may prevent it from fulfilling its function as the vehicle for the procla-mation of the assembly. Indeed, the great advantage of “favorite” hymns such as“Amazing Grace” is that most assemblies can sing them with ownership. How canwe help our assemblies to “know and love” funeral hymns with deep substance andappropriate context?

One way is to select one such hymn that is appealing (“love”) and make surethe assembly sings it regularly (“know”)—that is, to choose a funeral HoD. Leadersof a congregation will need to consider the available hymns with the appropriatecontext and substance and determine which of them is best suited to their particu-lar situation. This discussion should aim to find a hymn that has a “singable” tunefor that particular congregation, and that is likely to be treasured once it islearned. Once such a hymn is chosen it can be sung as the HoD at all (or most) fu-nerals and also be intentionally integrated into the congregation’s Sunday morningrepertoire.

To pick one hymn to sing as the HoD at all funerals is to return to the originalidea that the HoD is one of the propers, assigned for the day or occasion. It is hardfor us to limit ourselves in such a way, given our myriad choices. And it certainly isthe case that rigidity is not helpful here: a funeral for a child is very different from a

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9Dennis L. Bushkofsky and Craig A. Satterlee, The Christian Life: Baptism and Life Passages (Minneapolis:Augsburg Fortress, 2008) 158.

10Ibid., 173.

To pick one hymn to sing as the Hymn of the Day at all funerals isto return to the original idea that the Hymn of the Day is one ofthe propers, assigned for the day or occasion. It is hard for us tolimit ourselves in such a way, given our myriad choices.

funeral for someone “old and full of years” (see Gen 25:8; Job 42:11). But if we keepin mind these varying circumstances when we choose a funeral HoD, it should bepossible to find one that is appropriate for most occasions. And it is crucial thatsuch a hymn be sung regularly at a congregation’s funerals so that it becomesknown.

It is also important to integrate the chosen funeral HoD into a congregation’sSunday morning hymn repertoire. Singing this hymn regularly (at least once ayear) on a Sunday morning has at least two important benefits. First, by learningthis hymn during periods of relative calm, people will have it as a resource duringtimes of crisis. That is, when they are at the funeral for a loved one, they will be ableto sing this hymn from their heart, having internalized it already. Second, for thosewho have sung this hymn at a funeral for a loved one, singing it on Sunday morn-ing will remind them again of the Christian hope of life and resurrection.

Helping a funeral assembly sing a hymn well—which is part of having owner-ship of it—can be tricky. Elaine Ramshaw’s excellent article on singing at funeralsincludes some helpful ideas, such as having a funeral choir, or holding funeral ser-vices on weekends or evenings so more congregation members can come.11 Therole of the musician is crucial, and skilled musicians will have a repertoire of meth-ods for encouraging assembly singing.

SOME POSSIBLE OBJECTIONS

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those whohave died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. (1 Thess4:13)

Some might object: “People don’t sing well at funerals anyway; why pick anunfamiliar hymn when you can just sing ‘Amazing Grace’?” It is true that singing isoften (though not always) difficult at funerals. But that is a reason to introduce afuneral HoD carefully and intentionally, not a reason to scrap the idea. If such ahymn is carefully chosen, deliberately taught to the congregation, and led by a sen-sitive musician, it is very possible for a funeral assembly to sing it well. Somemourners will not be congregation members and might not be familiar with thishymn, but the presence of members at the service (possibly in the form of a funeralchoir) will enable them to join the singing.

Others might object: “The family often comes with a list of hymns the de-ceased requested for the funeral; it is better pastoral care to let them sing those thanto insist on an unfamiliar hymn.” Once again, if properly put into practice, the fu-neral HoD will not be unfamiliar but will be “known and loved” by congregationmembers. And it is perfectly appropriate to let the grieving family know that someparts of the funeral liturgy are fixed—including the HoD—and that other parts ofthe liturgy are variable and open to personalization, like, for instance, the other

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11Elaine J. Ramshaw, “Singing at Funerals and Memorial Services,” Currents in Theology and Mission 35/3(June 2008) 207–208.

hymns. ELW’s funeral service includes half-a-dozen opportunities for hymn sing-ing in addition to the HoD.12 This gives plenty of room to include hymns requestedby the family or the deceased as well as “favorite” hymns.

Others might object: “One hymn in a funeral service is not worth makingsuch a big deal over; it’s just not worth the effort.” But it is worth using our besttheology at a funeral, including in the hymns. There are as many reasons to makethe effort as there are people attending the funeral service. For some family mem-bers and friends of the deceased, this could be one of the few times in their livesthat they attend a worship service. What message will they hear? For those who areregular members of a congregation, the message of a well-known hymn will staywith them much longer than any particular sermon.

Still others might object: “All this talk of death is a downer; if it was not atragic death, why can’t the funeral be a celebration of life? We do have hope, so weshould ‘not grieve.’” But we can’t avoid grief and sorrow in the face of death, evenif we try. The point in 1 Thessalonians is that we ought “not grieve as others dowho have no hope.” Of course Christians grieve, but we are able to grieve withhope. After all, Jesus wept at the death of his friend Lazarus (John 11:35 RSV). If weare to preach God’s love and mercy (in word and song), we also need to preach ourneed for it, including the realities of death and grief. And it is music that “can givevoice and shape to the hardest emotions.”13

HYMNS OF GRIEF AND HOPE

We thank you, God, for kindling faiththat lights our transient years.14

Before concluding, I will briefly mention a few modern hymns in ELW thatare good candidates for a funeral HoD. These all have texts written within the lastthirty-five years and, with the exception of #451, have not appeared in previousAmerican Lutheran hymnals.

• #330, “Seed That in Earth Is Dying,” tune: SÅKORN SOM DØR I JORDEN. Thishymn by Norwegian author Svein Ellingsen focuses on the image of the seed

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12Evangelical Lutheran Worship, 279–283.13Ramshaw, “Singing at Funerals and Memorial Services,” 213.14Herman G. Stuempfle, “How Small Our Span of Life,” in ELW #636.

For some family members and friends of the deceased, thiscould be one of the few times in their lives that they attenda worship service. What message will they hear? For thosewho are regular members of a congregation, the message ofa well-known hymn will stay with them much longer thanany particular sermon.

that must die in order to rise (John 12:24). The three stanzas end respectivelywith images of life, God, and praise, all of which are with us in “our night anddeath.”

• #374, “Day of Arising,” tune: RAABE. Susan Palo Cherwien tells the story ofthe journey to Emmaus. In this hymn we identify with the unnamed grievingdisciples—“doubtful and dreading, blinded by sadness”—who are surprisedby Christ’s presence with them in the midst of their grief. Images of resurrec-tion abound.

• #451, “We Are Baptized in Christ Jesus,” tune: OUIMETTE. John Ylvisakerpairs one of his signature folk-like tunes with a text exploring our dying andrising with Christ through baptism. “God has made a new beginning fromthe ashes of our past.”

• #636, “How Small Our Span of Life,” tune: KINGSFOLD. This text by HermanStuempfle has the advantage of being set to a well-known tune. The shortnessof human life is contrasted with the vastness of the creation and life of God.Despite this, God “left eternity to plunge in time’s swift stream” for the pur-pose of “touching us with [God’s] risen life that ours may time transcend.”

• #699, “In Deepest Night,” tune: DEEP BLUE. Thomas Pavlechko’s darkjazz-shaded tune accompanies Susan Palo Cherwien’s similarly dark text.The text directly addresses our grief—“with us in our grief God grieves”—and proclaims that even in our “darkest days,” God’s song, tears, and love arewith us.

• #792, “When Memory Fades,” tune: FINLANDIA. In this hymn Mary LouiseBringle specifically addresses the struggles of caring for people with Alzhei-mer’s disease or other forms of dementia. It addresses our sadness as lovedones change, “when eyes grow dim, and minds confused.” God’s eternalspanning of past and future gives us hope, for “held in [God’s] heart, ourdeathless life is won.” The soaring and moving tune will also be known andloved by many congregations.

IMAGINE THIS

A church member is at a funeral, sitting a few pews behind her good friendwho just lost his mother. As the introduction to the hymn of the day sounds, hermind is flooded. She remembers funerals past, both those at which she was lost ingrief and those at which she supported others. She feels that particular bittersweetfeeling of loss mixed with hope. And her mind sifts through the rich implicationsof the hymn text, which she has pondered many times over the years.

There are many issues concerning music and funerals not addressed in thisarticle: services at funeral homes; wakes and committals; non-Lutheran traditions;non-liturgical services; soloists; and so forth. We would all do well to ponder theseas well. But this one small step—intentionally selecting a proper hymn of the day

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for funerals—can be an important step towards enhancing a congregation’s wit-ness to the Christian hope in the face of death, both at its funeral services and in itsmembers’ lives.

BRIAN WENTZEL, Luther Seminary MSM, 2006, is an organist, composer, singer, and author.He is director of music at First Evangelical Lutheran Church in Lorain, Ohio.

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