Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief

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<ul><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 1/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>In your hour of grief</p><p>Inspiring articles and Life Coaching at- </p><p> www.itakeoffthemask.com By: Jocelyn . !oriano </p><p> ll rights reser"ed. Copyright #y Jocelyn . !oriano </p><p>$I walked in the garden of life% caressing softpetals here and there. nd lo&amp; fter a while theyare no more% and my heart #led for each</p><p> fragrant petal that fell. If e"ery flower withers%ne"er to return to its full #lossom% then whatgood indeed is passing #y in the garden of life'( </p><p>)erein lies my hope: *hat for e"ery flower that</p><p>withers% another one #looms within me% one thatwill remain fore"er fragrant and fresh% ne"ere"er to pass away</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 2/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>Contents +oem of one grie"ing the loss of a lo"ed</p><p>one ,rie"ing the loss of a lo"ed one I ill !mile gain hen you re in pain *ime for Joy hy is my cross hea"ier' Birth pains )ow do you carry your cross' *he !kill of Catching Joy )ow do you sa"e someone who is lost in</p><p>the dark' hat do you see in the eyes of sorrow' +rayer of Letting ,o </p><p> Let ,o hen ,od +rays Be !till *he Mission of Little Children /01cerpt</p><p> from $ Crown of *horns(2 </p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 3/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>+oem of 3ne ,rie"ing the Lossof a Lo"ed 3ne where would you go that i cannot follow? for how long must i wait until we meet again? what would i do in times that i miss you? where would i go in times when i long to see you again? how must i spend the nights without you? how do i bear each morning that you're not there? shall i ever smile again? will i ever laugh again? will i ever face the world again knowing that im not alone? why must you leave me? why must i cry these tears when you're not here to wipe them all away? why must i suffer the empty days without my beloved? why must i dream without you by my side? the days shall never be the same again i will never be the same again </p><p>without you </p><p>the life of my soul, the joy of my heart, the light in my eyes, the hope of my dreams, the comfort of my lonely nights, without you my beloved, i grieve and cry, i grope and stumble in the dark, i weep with all my soul i desire with all my heart i let go of all of me that you took away with you </p><p>i keep all of you that is in me, and will always remain in me wherever i may go </p><p>i wait and pray and hope i will look forward to each brand new day thankful for all that i've had and will always have thankful for the sun that shines again believing and hanging on believing that life will go on it can't help but go on it shall go on and in so going there really is no end only mornings and evenings and life that never ever ends. </p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 4/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>,4I05I6, *)0 L3!! 37 L3508 360 </p><p>When my grandfather died, the first question that crossedmy mind was, "Shall we ever, as a family, be able tosmile again?</p><p>He was a very kind man, a sweet and loving man who alsohappened to be a retired Captain of the Armed Forces of thePhilippines, a proud veteran of the !AFF" in World War ##$# loved him % very much, and regarded him as my very ownfather$ He used to carry me up his shoulders when # wasbut a little girl$ # never saw him mad$ He was always calm</p><p>and gentle, but with that certain kind of strength in him thatnever needed to be boasted about anymore$ &amp;aybe thiskind of admiration was the source of my childhood dream ofbeing a lady cadette officer$ Well, # didn't reali(e thatdream, but in my heart # knew #'ve acquired that kind ofcourage he had, and it sort of stayed with me through theyears$</p><p># also admired the kind of love he cherished with my)randma$ !omething that lasted for fifty golden years, the*+th year being the year of his demise$ # often told myselfthat theirs was the kind of marriage # fervently pray to have% simple, sincere, lasting, abounding in love, courage andunderstanding$ he day my )randpa died, my heart broke,not only for my own grief, but for the grief of seeing such ablessed marriage come to a sudden end right before myeyes$</p><p>How indeed are we going to go about our lives after hispassing- How do we spend our late evenings without hisstories- How do we celebrate Christmas without his .ollysmile-</p><p>he seat he occupied at dinner will remain vacantthereafter$ he sight of him and )randma embracing eachother after a petty quarrel will be nothing more but a sweetmemory to look back to$</p><p>he funny thing was, # never really considered him old$ Hehad always been strong and healthy and happy$ # thoughthe'd always be there, for me, for my )randma, for everyonewho has ever gotten to know the wonderful person he is$/ut # guess death is like that$ #t takes from you in aninstant the people you've cherrished for a whole lifetime$0ust like that$ As simple as that$ And you are suddenly leftwith two things1 anger for having been deprived of yourbeloved for no reason at all2 and emptiness, a vacuum thatgnaws right at your heart where all the .oyful momentsonce had been$</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 5/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>And how will it be for people who have lost not only theirfathers, but mothers, children, both parents, lifetimepartners who spent their lives through thick and thin, whodreamt together and .ourneyed together and found meaningin each other's lives-</p><p>How are we to begin grieving for them- Where could weever find the tears to weep, tears that will pour out and cryin behalf of our torn and shattered hearts-</p><p>1. Cry</p><p>Find those tears$ ry to let them out however painful theprocess is$ 3et them out$ 3et them pour showers that willcleanse away every bit of darkness and bitterness from yourheart$</p><p>!hy not from crying out aloud$ 4ou have every right to beheard, and all the right to be hurt$ 5o one's going to standin your way even if you wail$ 3et your cries rise up to theclouds, unto the ears of heaven who understand whatsorrow mortal men go through in this valley of tears$</p><p>Cry for the pain of parting$ Cry for the sad mornings thatwill greet you without your lover's arms$ Cry for the wordsthat shall remain unspoken and unheard$ Cry for the placesyou will never be able to walk together anymore$ Cry for thedreams that will remain as dreams$ Cry for the memoriesthat will remain as memories$ Cry for the hand that can no</p><p>longer caress you$ Cry for those eyes that can no longer see</p><p>your tears$</p><p>Cry your heart out$ /ecause the truth is % it hurts, and itreally hurts so much6</p><p>2. Forgive</p><p>here are many things we don't want to admit in times likethese2 things we believe would only dishonor the memory ofour loved one, or things that would dishonor us before theirmemory$ /ut unless we deal with these things, we wouldalways be burdened by things that should have been buriedwith passing of our loved ones$</p><p>a. Forgiving our loved ones</p><p>People are not perfect$ 5o matter how much we love themor no matter how good they are, they may have hurt us atone point or another$ hey may have .udged us anddisappointed us$ We have to admit how they failed us, andthen forgive them with a forgiveness that comes out of thegenerosity of our hearts$ We know that we do not have time</p><p>anymore, we can no longer wait for them to see their faultsand ask our forgiveness$ !o we forgive them$ We let themgo with no bitterness in our hearts$</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 6/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>b. Forgiving ourselves</p><p>When our loved ones pass away, there is always a feeling ofguilt left in us % how we haven't loved them enough, how wecould've saved them, how we could've made them happier$/ut when we come to think of it, how much more could wehave really done though- "ven if we could've made adifference, could we be able to turn back the hands of time-</p><p>Forgive yourself$ Admit your faults, go to confession, slapyour face hard, observe fasting for a week, shave your headeven6 /ut don't punish yourself forever for being unable tomake the proper retribution$ 4ou can no longer do that$ #t'snot your fault anymore$ /laming yourself could never earnfor you the forgiveness you so desire$ #f you can't becontent in praying for forgiveness alone, if you really believeyou still have to do something to be forgiven, then do this %love those people still within your reach$ 7o this, and you'dhave earned more than forgiveness2 you'd have loved$ 3oveheals$ 3ove forgives$</p><p>3. eal with the !ain one day at a time</p><p>)rieving for our loved ones who passed away is probablyone of the most painful things we'll e8perience in life$ 7ealwith it one short day at a time$ 7on't think of the whole 9*or *+ years ahead of you$ 0ust think of today, and of all thesupport being given you .ust where you are$ #t is times likethese when we get to know who our true friends are, people</p><p>willing to e8tend their hands and their hearts to help see</p><p>you through$ Accept the help given you, and you'll make ittoday$</p><p>. #onor$ treasure their memory</p><p>&amp;any people will suggest to you to move on, which is a finething$ #n the process though, they may also urge you toforget all about the past, and start letting go$ 5ow letting gois not such a bad thing, it could mean giving up all ourunreali(able e8pectations and all of the things we cannot doanymore$ /ut to forget all things completely % to do sowould be to start cheating on our true feelings for ourbeloved who passed away$</p><p>We can't .ust act like we had amnesia all of a sudden$ Wecan't pretend that the things that happened didn't happen,and that the precious moments we've spent with our lovedones don't mean anything to us anymore$ !omethinghappened in the past$ !ouls touched in the past$ 3iveschanged$ !ouls were inspired$</p><p>:ur grief is only amplified with the thought that we are</p><p>forever parting with every remaining essence of our lovedones$ hat's what makes our mourning even worse, tobelieve that we are forever losing that part of our lives thatchanged us and made us happy$ 7on't throw it all away$When inspiration comes upon you, they need not leave$</p><p>hey never leave$ hey inspire us forever$</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 7/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>When my )randpa died, # thought it was the end of thewonderful love he had with )randma$ /ut # was wrong$ #tdid not end there$ #t cannot be ended that way$ p to thismoment, # am still a witness on how true love is kept alivein the hearts and minds of those who carry on the radianceof its warmth$</p><p>%. &amp;hin' of the lega(y they left behind</p><p>#'ve always thought that when our loved ones go away, theytake a part of ourselves with them$ #t's like a part of uswithers away and dies$ We feel like an arm or a leg had .ustbeen taken away and we can never be whole again$ We feelwe are lesser people than we used to be$ We then wonderwhy people had to meet at all only to be separated in theend, only to feel broken and incomplete$</p><p>/ut then #'ve also learned that when people become part ofeach other's lives, their lives become richer from the wholenew world opened before them by one another$ hey gain anew perspective, they get a deeper understanding ofthemselves, they learn new skills and hobbies, they discovernew places, they get to love a new song$ "ach one leaves a</p><p>mark, a precious legacy, a part of their very selves to thepeople they love$</p><p>"ven after their lives together had ended, even after onehas gone and passed away, that part they have given to uswill remain$ /ecause when people become a part of us, a</p><p>part of their own souls remain in us, forever enriching us,</p><p>and we are never the same as before$</p><p>&amp;y )randpa had been gone for ;&lt; years now, but the thingshe left me, the imprint he left in my soul will always bethere, guiding me through my .ourney ahead$ 3ove ofcountry, courage, dignity, love of family % these are thethings # will always be thankful for$</p><p>). S(hedule a(tivities that hel! vent out youremotions</p><p>4ou cried, you wept, you wailed$ /ut as you miss your lovedone more painfully with the passing of each day, you feelthe emotions within you continue to surge, emotions thatneed to find a proper outlet to let go$</p><p>Schedule those activities with a friend that willencourage you to perform them:</p><p>%Play badminton, let go of all the hurts you feel everytimeyou hit the shuttlecock$ Hit it hard6 Hit it as far as you can$%=un the treadmill$ "verytime you feel the urge to escape,walk tirelessly$ Walk like you never walked before$ =un$ =un</p><p>and release the pain you keep within you$%!wim, imagine your tears being washed away$ 7o yourmost powerful strokes, and glide away from all thee8pectations the world thrusts upon your shoulders$ 0ustmake sure a trusted friend and lifeguard is watching overyou, okey-</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p>http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/http://www.itakeoffthemask.com/</li><li><p>8/12/2019 Grief Couseling in Your Hour of Grief</p><p> 8/40</p><p>More inspiring articles at www.itakeoffthemask.com </p><p>%)rab a crayon and a sketch pad$ 7raw the abtract feelings</p><p>you can't and don't want to decipher at the moment$ 7rawin hard wild strokes$ hen tear the sheet in pieces$</p><p>*. +e!lenish your soul</p><p>:nce the strong feelings begin to subside, replenish yoursoul with activities that promote peace, wholeness and afresh beginning$</p><p>%Plant a seed and watch the new plant emerge from theground from which it was buried$% ake care of a chick and help it grow into a hen$ 4ou caneven en.oy the eggs she will lay for you later6%Watch a sunrise with a trusted buddy$ !ee how darknesstransforms into a magnificent rising of a brand new day$% ravel somewhere you've never been to$ )et to know thelocals and try to e...</p></li></ul>

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