epps notes 2
TRANSCRIPT
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EPPS Notes
Listening Skills
Listening is a very complex process that can be decomposed into five
main steps and sometimes some obstacles might interfere in this course
of action.
Step 1: HEARING
Hearing is a prerequisite step to the listening process. Simply put, in
this stage the sounds emitted by the speaker are received by listener ears.
In scientific words, when someone speaks, sounds waves are produced,
and after striking human auditory receptors circulate along the nervous
system pathways and reach different parts of the brain.Barriers: noisy surroundings, speaker’s tone and volume, hearing
deficiencies.
Step 2: ATTENDING
Attending is a mental and psychological effort which consists of
filtering sounds and auditory messages after an internal and/or external
stimuli. Afterwards, for the listener, it’s about choosing what sound he’s
going to focus his attention on and “prioritize” according to three main
factors:- Selectivity (On what sound to concentrate?),
- Strength (How well to concentrate),
- and Sustainment of his attention (for how long he can concentrate).
Barriers: conflicting priorities caused by multiple sources of sound,
inattention, stress and mental fatigue, pseudo-listening.
Step 3: UNDERSTANDING
Understanding implies attaching a meaning to the message received. In
this stage, the listener interprets and decodes verbal and non-verbalsignals sent by the speaker, based on his personal background. During
this part of the process, there are many factors that should be taken into
consideration: culture, education, language, social references and bias,
and mainly vocabulary.
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Barriers: misinterpretation of words and non-verbal signals, lack of
interest.
Step 4: EVALUATING
Evaluating involves analyzing the information received in order to draw
proper conclusions. In this stage the listener tries to judge the most
objectively possible what was said and not said by the speaker,
determine the merit and the quality of the message based on personal
and general standards.
Barriers: emotions toward speaker, negative attitude, prejudice, closed-
mindedness, speaker’s appearance and mannerisms.
Step 5: RESPONDING
Responding is the reaction to the message sent by the speaker. It consistfirst in acknowledging the information received, and secondly providing
feedbacks to the audience with verbal answers or commentaries, and
physical responses such as laughs, smiles, gestures, head nodding, and
frowns.
Eight barriers to efective listening
More attention is usually paid to making people better
speakers or writers (the "supply side" of the
communication chain) rather than on making them better
listeners or readers (the "demand side"). The most direct
way to improve communication is by learning to listen
more eectively.
Nearly every aspect of human life could be improved by better listening
-- from family matters to corporate business affairs to international
relations.
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Most of us are terrible listeners. We're such poor listeners, in fact, that
we don't know how much we're missing.
The following are eight common barriers to good listening, with
suggestions for overcoming each.
# ! nowing the answer
!nowing the answer means that you think you already know what the
speaker wants to say, before she actually finishes saying it. "ou might
then impatiently cut her off or try to complete the sentence for her.
#ven more disruptive is interrupting her by saying that you disagree withher, but without letting her finish saying what it is that you think you
disagree with. That's a common problem when a discussion gets heated,
and which causes the discussion to degrade $uickly.
%y interrupting the speaker before letting her finish, you're essentially
saying that you don't value what she's saying. &howing respect to the
speaker is a crucial element of good listening.
The knowing the answer barrier also causes the listener to pre-udge
what the speaker is saying -- a kind of closed-mindedness.
( good listener tries to keep an open, receptive mind. )e looks for
opportunities to stretch his mind when listening, and to ac$uire new
ideas or insights, rather than reinforcing e*isting points of view.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier ( simple strategy for overcoming the knowing the answer barrier is to
wait for three seconds after the speaker finishes before beginning your
reply.
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perceives to be the speaker's problem. onse$uently, he misses what the
speaker is actually saying.
(n old /en proverb says, When walking, walk. When eating, eat. 0n
other words, give your whole attention to whatever you're doing. 0t's
worth emphasi1ing that the goal of good listening is simply to listen --
nothing more and nothing less. 0nterrupting the speaker in order to offer
advice disrupts the flow of conversation, and impairs the listener's
ability to understand the speaker's e*perience.
Many people have a messiah comple* and try to fi* or rescue other
people as a way of feeling fulfilled. &uch people usually get a kick out of being problem-solvers, perhaps because it gives them a sense of
importance. )owever, that behavior can be a huge hurdle to good
listening.
Trying to be helpful while listening also implies that you've made certain
udgments about the speaker. That can raise emotional barriers to
communication, as udgments can mean that the listener doesn't have
complete understanding or respect for the speaker.
0n a sense, giving a person your undivided attention while listening is the
purest act of love you can offer. %ecause human beings are such social
animals, simply knowing that another person has listened and
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understood is empowering. ften that's all a person needs in order to
solve the problems on his or her own.
0f you as a listener step in and heroically offer your solution, you're
implying that you're more capable of seeing the solution than the
speaker is.
0f the speaker is describing a difficult or long-term problem, and you
offer a facile, off-the-cuff solution, you're probably forgetting that he or
she may have already considered your instant solution long before.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
&chedule a separate session for giving advice. Many people forget that
it's rude to offer advice when the speaker isn't asking for it. #ven if the
advice is good.
0n any case, a person can give better advice if he first listens carefully
and understands the speaker's complete situation before trying to offer
advice.
0f you believe you have valuable advice that the speaker isn't likely to
know, then first politely ask if you may offer what you see as a possible
solution. Wait for the speaker to clearly invite you to go ahead before
you offer your advice.
#' ! Treating discussion as competition
&ome people feel that agreeing with the speaker during a heated
discussion is a sign of weakness. They feel compelled to challenge every
point the speaker makes, even if they inwardly agree. +iscussion then
becomes a contest, with a score being kept for who wins the most points
by arguing.
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Treating discussion as competition is one of the most serious barriers to
good listening. 0t greatly inhibits the listener from stretching and seeing
a different point of view. 0t can also be frustrating for the speaker.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
(lthough competitive debate serves many useful purposes, and can be
great fun, debating should be scheduled for a separate session of its own,
where it won't interfere with good listening.
#*cept in a very rare case where you truly disagree with absolutely
everything the speaker is saying, you should avoid dismissing her
statements completely. 0nstead, affirm the points of agreement.
Try to voice active agreement whenever you do agree, and be very
specific about what you disagree with.
( good overall listening principle is to be generous with the speaker.
ffer affirmative feedback as often as you feel comfortable doing so.
2enerosity also entails clearly voicing e*actly where you disagree, as
well as where you agree.
# ! Trying to inuence or impress
%ecause good listening depends on listening ust for the sake of
listening, any ulterior motive will diminish the effectiveness of the
listener. #*amples of ulterior motives are trying to impress or to
influence the speaker.
( person who has an agenda other than simply to understand what the
speaker is thinking and feeling will not be able to pay complete attention
while listening.
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3sychologists have pointed out that people can understand language
about two or three times faster than they can speak. That implies that a
listener has a lot of e*tra mental bandwidth for thinking about other
things while listening. ( good listener knows how to use that sparecapacity to think about what the speaker is talking about.
( listener with an ulterior motive, such as to influence or impress the
speaker, will probably use the spare capacity to think about his ne*t
move in the conversation -- his rebuttal or what he will say ne*t when
the speaker is finished -- instead of focusing on understanding the
speaker.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
Trying to influence or impress is a difficult barrier to overcome,
because motives usually can't ust be willed away. +eciding not to have
a motive usually only drives it beneath your awareness so that it
becomes a hidden motive.
ne strategy is to make note of your internal motives while you're
listening. (s you notice your motives in progressively closer and finer
detail, you'll eventually become more fully conscious of ulterior
motives, and they may even unravel, allowing you to let go and listen
ust for the sake of listening.
#* ! +eacting to red ag words
Words can provoke a reaction in the listener that wasn't necessarily what
the speaker intended. When that happens the listener won't be able tohear or pay full attention to what the speaker is saying.
http://www.sklatch.net/thoughtlets/intuition.htmlhttp://www.sklatch.net/thoughtlets/intuition.html
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4ed flag words or e*pressions trigger an une*pectedly strong association
in the listener's mind, often because of the listener's private beliefs or
e*periences.
Technology is often seen as the driver of improved
communications, but technology, in itself, creates noise
and discord as much as it melds minds.
2ood listeners have learned how to minimi1e the distraction caused by
red flag words, but a red flag word will make almost any listener
momentarily unable to hear with full attention.
(n important point is that the speaker may not have actually meant the
word in the way that the listener understood. )owever, the listener will
be so distracted by the red flag that she will not notice what the speaker
actually did mean to say.
4ed flag words don't always provoke emotional reactions. &ometimes
they ust cause slight disagreements or misunderstandings. Whenever a
listener finds himself disagreeing or reacting, he should be on thelookout for red flag words or e*pressions.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
When a speaker uses a word or e*pression that triggers a refle*ive
association, you as a good listener can ask the speaker to confirm
whether she meant to say what you think she said.
When you hear a word or e*pression that raises a red flag, try to stop theconversation, if possible, so that you don't miss anything that the speaker
says. Then ask the speaker to clarify and e*plain the point in a different
way.
#- ! elieving in language
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ne of the trickiest barriers is believing in language -- a misplaced
trust in the precision of words.
5anguage is a guessing game. &peaker and listener use language to
predict what each other is thinking. Meaning must always be actively
negotiated.
0t's a fallacy to think that a word's dictionary definition can be
transmitted directly through using the word. (n e*ample of that fallacy
is revealed in the statement, 0 said it perfectly clearly, so why didn't you
understand6. f course, the naive assumption here is that words that are
clear to one person are clear to another, as if the words themselvescontained absolute meaning.
Words have a uni$ue effect in the mind of each person, because each
person's e*perience is uni$ue. Those differences can be small, but the
overall effect of the differences can become large enough to cause
misunderstanding.
( worse problem is that words work by pointing at e*periences shared by speaker and listener.
0f the listener hasn't had the e*perience that the speaker is using the word
to point at, then the word points at nothing. Worse still, the listener may
$uietly substitute a different e*perience to match the word.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
"ou as a good listener ought to practice mistrusting the meaning ofwords. (sk the speaker supporting $uestions to cross-verify what the
words mean to him.
+on't assume that words or e*pressions mean e*actly the same to you as
they do to the speaker. "ou can stop the speaker and $uestion the
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transition from one thought to another -- a problem that $uickly shows
up in their writing, as well.
7orest people, on the other hand, often baffle their listeners with
obscure abstractions. They tend to prefer using concepts, but sometimes
those concepts are so removed from the world of the senses that their
listeners get lost.
Trees people commonly accuse forest people of going off on
tangents or speaking in unwarranted generalities. 7orest people
commonly feel that trees people are too narrow and literal.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
"ou as a good listener can e*plicitly ask the speaker for overall conte*t
or for specific e*emplary details, as needed. "ou should cross-verify by
asking the speaker how the trees fit together to form the forest. )aving
an accurate picture of how the details fit together is crucial to
understanding the speaker's thoughts.
(n important point to remember is that a trees speaker may becomeconfused or irritated if you as the listener try to supply missing conte*t,
and a forest speaker may become impatient or annoyed if you try to
supply missing e*amples.
( more effective approach is to encourage the speaker to supply missing
conte*t or e*amples by asking him open-ended $uestions.
(sking open-ended $uestions when listening is generally more effectivethan asking closed-ended ones.
7or e*ample, an open-ended $uestion such as an you give me a
concrete e*ample of that6 is less likely to cause confusion or
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disagreement than a more closed-ended one such as Would such-and-
such be an e*ample of what you're talking about6
&ome speakers may even fail to notice that a closed-ended $uestion is
actually a $uestion. They may then disagree with what they thought was
a statement of opinion, and that will cause distracting friction or
confusion.
The strategy of asking open-ended $uestions, instead of closed-ended or
leading $uestions, is an important overall component of good listening.
#1 ! 2ver!splitting or over!lumping
&peakers have different styles of organi1ing thoughts when e*plaining
comple* situations. &ome speakers, splitters, tend to pay more
attention to how things are different. ther speakers, lumpers, tend to
look for how things are alike. 3erhaps this is a matter of temperament.
0f the speaker and listener are on opposite sides of the splitter-lumper
spectrum, the different mental styles can cause confusion or lack of
understanding.
( listener who is an over-splitter can inadvertently signal that he
disagrees with the speaker over everything, even if he actually agrees
with most of what the speaker says and only disagrees with a nuance or
point of emphasis.
That can cause noise and interfere with the flow of conversation.
5ikewise, a listener who is an over-lumper can let crucial differences of
opinion go unchallenged, which can lead to a serious misunderstanding
later. The speaker will mistakenly assume that the listener has
understood and agreed.
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0t's important to achieve a good balance between splitting 8critical
thinking9 and lumping 8metaphorical thinking9. #ven more important is
for the listener to recogni1e when the speaker is splitting and when she is
lumping.
Strategy for overcoming this barrier
(n approach to overcoming this barrier when listening is to ask
$uestions to determine more precisely where you agree or disagree with
what the speaker is saying, and then to e*plicitly point that out, when
appropriate.
7or e*ample, you might say, 0 think we have differing views on several points here, but do we at least agree that ... 6 or We agree with each
other on most of this, but 0 think we have different views in the area
of ....
%y actively voicing the points of convergence and divergence, the
listener can create a more accurate mental model of the speaker's mind.
That reduces the conversational noise that can arise when speaker and
listener fail to reali1e how their minds are aligned or unaligned.
:oice-3itch
Modulating your voice means moving the pitch up and down. The
alternative is to keep an even pitch throughout the sentence, which at
best will sound odd and at worst dull, boring or confusing.
Pitch change( change in fre$uency in speaking tone provides the listener with a
signal that something is happening. Modulation can thus be used to
enhance emphasis in words, with rising and lowering tones adding subtle
meaning.
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3oing down for authority
( downwards pitch adds authority to a sentence. 0t gives imperative that
seeks un$uestioning acceptance. To go down, you need to be up, so
gradually increase the pitch of your voice beforehand to give yourselfthe ability to suddenly drop the pitch on an important point. The pitch of
the sentence may thus go up and down several times as key words are
emphasi1ed.
You know, it has now become important that you work harder so you can
support your family.
5ooking back at this sentence, the emphasi1ed, low-pitched words stand
out and combine together to form the key message that you want to get
across.
3oing up for engagement
(n upwards pitch adds interest to a sentence. 0t $uestions and provokes
engagement and response. 2oing up starts from a medium or low pitch.
"ou thus cannot stay at this involving level for long. &ometimes when people want to invite the other person they will use a fragmented
sentence that contains several rising-pitch words to repeated the
invitation.
I was just wondering...whether you would like...maybe to come today?
Repetition
( regular up and down modulation creates a pattern of repetition that is
not initially recogni1ed and can thus be used to 'creep up on' the other
person.
4ounding home a point
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When someone is making a point about something, their pitch will go up
and down as they repeatedly pound the point of authority. This may well
be done in a rhythmic way, accompanied with pounding of a finger or
fist to e*aggerate further. The repetition may also emphasi1ed further byrepeating a single word or phrase.
I was never there, I would never do a thing like that and I have never
been so insulted in my entire life.
5ypnotic suggestion
4epetition and modulation is a common element of hypnotic speech.
The modulation pulls people in with the impression of something worth
listening to, then the repetition sends them into a trance. This can be a
deliberate method for public speakers that can be used to lull a whole
audience into a suggestible state before the real message is slipped past
the weakened cognitive defenses.
Making it interesting
5isten to a beginner actor or salesperson; as they concentrate on thewords, the modulation goes out of the window and they sound odd and
wooden. Modulation makes meaning.
5isten to the T: presenter introducing a program or reading the news.
Notice how their voice goes up and down very deliberately. They know
very well what they are doing.
Notice also how the T: presenter moves their head and their in timewith the modulation. Their body is often obscured by a table or even off-
camera. They must thus use ust their voice and their head to convey
meaning.
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Non-:erbal ommunication
The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication. Nonverbal
communication describes the process of shared cues between people,
which goes hand-in-hand with public speaking. This can include eye
contact, fre$uency of glances, blink rate, gestures, facial e*pressions,
postures, and more.
3eter 7. +rucker
Nonverbal communication describes the process of shared cues between
people, which goes hand-in-hand with public speaking. This can include
eye contact, fre$uency of glances, blink rate, gestures, facial
e*pressions, postures, and more.
The presentation is, perhaps, the one mode of communication that has
proved relevant through every technological innovation. ur decks get
more glamorous, but it?s still ust you on stage, in front of an audience.
Nonverbal signals can increase trust, clarity, and add interest to your presentation when yielded properly. 5earning how to become more
sensitive to body language and nonverbal cues will make you the best
presenter you can be.
he Five Nonverbal Abilities
)ow is it that non-verbal communication is the element of the in-person
presentation that has caused it to be the default response when responsesmatter most; inaugural addresses, &tates of the nion, getting big
accounts, keeping big accounts>the list goes on and on. 3erhaps because
this form of communication shares so much more than dialogue.
(ccording to the #dward 2. Wertheim, author of The Importance of
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ffective !ommunication, there are five main effects that nonverbal
communication can have;
@. Repetition > They can reinforce what is already being said
A. Contradiction > They can contradict the message and make the
speaker seem untruthful
B. Substitution > They can take the place of words
C. Complementing > They can compliment a verbal message, for
instance, a pat on the back
D. Accenting > They can underline a certain point in the message
Strengthen Eye Contact
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(s you practice your presentation, film yourself. What do your facial
e*pressions communicate6 )appiness, fear, sadness, surprise, or
boredom6 %e mindful of your posture as well, ensuring that you don?t
have the slump of an uninterested presenter. +on?t forget to e*amineyour gestures. +oes the way that you point, wave, or flail your hands
distract from the message, or enhance your points6 Try to film yourself
for more than one practice to see where nonverbal patterns emerge, and
where you can strengthen your physical delivery. (lso consider rating
yourself on a scale of @-D in the following areas;
ye !ontact
%acial &pression
Tone of 'oice
(osture and )esture
$a#e a %oment
(le*
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to your intended audience, would be lost in translation. Make sure what
you?re not saying is as poignant as what you are.
Types of Non- :erbal ommunication
n many cases, we communicate information in nonverbal ways usinggroups of behaviors. 7or e*ample, we might combine a frown withcrossed arms and unblinking eye ga1e to indicate disapproval.
&' Facial E(pressions
7acial e*pressions are responsible for a huge proportion of nonverbalcommunication. onsider how much information can be conveyed witha smile or a frown. The look on a person face is often the first thing wesee, even before we hear what they have to say.
While nonverbal communication and behavior can vary dramatically between cultures, the facial e*pressions for happiness, sadness, anger,
)' *estures
+eliberate movements and signals are an important way to communicatemeaning without words. ommon gestures include waving, pointing,and using fingers to indicate numeric amounts. ther gestures arearbitrary and related to culture.
0n courtroom settings, lawyers have been known to utili1e differentnonverbal signals to attempt to sway uror opinions. (n attorney mightglance at his watch to suggest that the opposing lawyer's argument istedious or might even roll his eyes at the testimony offered by a witness
in an attempt to undermine his or her credibility. These nonverbal signalsare seen as being so powerful and influential that some udges even
place limits on what type of nonverbal behaviors are allowed in thecourtroom.
+' !aralinguistics
http://specialchildren.about.com/od/nonverballd/bb/nldresources.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/tp/A-Quick-Guide-To-Understanding-And-Improving-Body-Language.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/a/Five-Tips-To-Better-Understand-Facial-Expressions.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://specialchildren.about.com/od/nonverballd/bb/nldresources.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-headinghttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/tp/A-Quick-Guide-To-Understanding-And-Improving-Body-Language.htmhttp://socialanxietydisorder.about.com/od/socialskills/a/Five-Tips-To-Better-Understand-Facial-Expressions.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_2.htm#step-heading
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3aralinguistics refers to vocal communication that is separate fromactual language. This includes factors such as tone of voice, loudness,inflection, and pitch. onsider the powerful effect that tone of voice canhave on the meaning of a sentence. When said in a strong tone of voice,
listeners might interpret approval and enthusiasm. The same words saidin a hesitant tone of voice might convey disapproval and a lack ofinterest.
onsider all the different ways simply changing your tone of voicemight change the meaning of a sentence. ( friend might ask you howyou are doing, and you might respond with the standard 0'm fine, buthow you actually say those words might reveal a tremendous amount of
how you are really feeling. ( cold tone of voice might suggest that youare actually not fine, but you don't wish to discuss it. ( bright, happytone of voice will reveal that you are actually doing $uite well. (somber, downcast tone would indicate that you are the opposite of fineand that perhaps your friend should in$uire further.
,' ody anguage and !osture
3osture and movement can also convey a great deal on information.
4esearch on body language has grown significantly since the @GHE's, but popular media have focused on the over-interpretation of defensive postures, arm-crossing, and leg-crossing, especially after the publicationof Iulius 7ast's book 0ody 1anguage. While these nonverbal behaviorscan indicate feelings and attitudes, research suggests that body languageis far more subtle and less definitive that previously believed.
.' !ro(emics
3eople often refer to their need for personal space, which is also animportant type of nonverbal communication. The amount of distance weneed and the amount of space we perceive as belonging to us isinfluenced by a number of factors including social norms, culturale*pectations, situational factors, personality characteristics, and level offamiliarity. 7or e*ample, the amount of personal space needed when
http://marketing.about.com/od/salestipsandadvice/a/toneofvoice.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/gr/bodylanguage.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/a/attitudes.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_8.htmhttp://grammar.about.com/od/mo/g/Nonverbal-Communication.htmhttp://sociology.about.com/od/Research/a/Ethnomethodology.htmhttp://marketing.about.com/od/salestipsandadvice/a/toneofvoice.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/gr/bodylanguage.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/socialpsychology/a/attitudes.htmhttp://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language_8.htmhttp://grammar.about.com/od/mo/g/Nonverbal-Communication.htmhttp://sociology.about.com/od/Research/a/Ethnomethodology.htm
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having a casual conversation with another person usually varies between@J inches to four feet. n the other hand, the personal distance neededwhen speaking to a crowd of people is around @E to @A feet.
/' Eye *a0e
The eyes play an important role in nonverbal communication and suchthings as looking, staring, and blinking can also be important nonverbal
behaviors. When people encounter people or things that they like, therate of blinking increases and pupils dilate. 5ooking at another personcan indicate a range of emotions including hostility, interest, andattraction.
3eople also utili1e eye ga1e a means to determine if someone is beinghonest. Normal, steady eye contact is often taken as a sign that a personis telling the truth and is trustworthy. &hifty eyes and an inability tomaintain eye contact, on the other hand, is fre$uently seen as anindicator that someone is lying or being deceptive.
1' 2aptics
ommunicating through touch is another important nonverbal behavior.There has been a substantial amount of research on the importance oftouch in infancy and early childhood. )arry )arlow's classic monkeystudy demonstrated how the deprivation of touch and contact impedesdevelopment. %aby monkeys raised by wire mothers e*perienced
permanent deficits in behavior and social interaction. Touch can be usedto communicate affection, familiarity, sympathy, and other emotions.
0n her book Interpersonal !ommunication2 veryday ncounters, author
Iulia Wood writes that touch is also often used as a way to communicate both status and power. 4esearchers have found that high-statusindividuals tend to invade other people's personal space with greaterfre$uency and intensity than lower-status individuals. &e* differencesalso play a role in how people utili1e touch to communicate meaning.Women tend to use touch to convey care, concern, and nurturance. Men,
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on the other hand, are more likely to use touch to assert power or controlover others.
3' Appearance
ur choice of color, clothing, hairstyles, and other factors affectingappearance are also considered a means of nonverbal communication.4esearch on color psychology has demonstrated that different colors canevoke different moods. (ppearance can also alter physiologicalreactions, udgments, and interpretations. Iust think of all the subtle
udgements you $uickly make about someone based on his or herappearance. These first impressions are important, which is why e*pertssuggest that ob seekers dress appropriately for interviews with potentialemployers.
4esearchers have found that appearance can play a role in how peopleare perceived and even how much they earn. ne @GGK study found thatattorneys who were rated as more attractive than their peers earnednearly @D percent more than those ranked as less attractive. ulture canhave an important influence in how appearances are udged. Whilethinness tends to be valued in Western cultures, some (frican cultures
relate full-figured bodies to better health, wealth, and social status.
4' Artifacts
bects and images are also tools that can be used to communicatenonverbally. n an online forum, for e*ample, you might select anavatar to represent your identity online and to communicate informationabout who you are and the things you like. 3eople often spend a greatdeal of time developing a particular image and surrounding themselves
with obects designed to convey information about the things that areimportant to them. niforms, for e*ample, can be used to transmit atremendous amount of information about a person. ( soldier will donfatigues, a police offers will wear a uniform, and a doctor will wear awhite lab coat. (t a mere glance, these outfits tell people what a persondoes for a living.
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Final $houghts
Nonverbal communication plays an important role in how we conveymeaning and information to others, as well as how we interpret the
actions of those around us. The important thing to remember whenlooking at such nonverbal behaviors is to consider the actions in groups.What a person actually says along with his or her e*pressions,appearance, and tone of voice might tell you a great deal about what that
person is really trying to say.
#ffective %usiness 5etter
Writing An Efective Business Letter#-mail may be the $uick and convenient way to relay daily business
messages, but the printed business letter is still the preferred way to
convey important information. ( carefully crafted letter presented on
attractive letterhead can be a powerful communication tool. To make
sure you are writing the most professional and effective letter possible,
use the business letter format and template below and follow these basic
business letter-writing.
Select a proessional letterhead design or your
sall business
"our business letter is a representation of your company, so you want it
to look distinctive and immediately communicate high $uality. 7or a
convenient and economical alternative to using traditional preprinted
letterhead, try using our contemporary letterhead and envelope designtemplates. &imply create a letter within a predesigned color letterhead
template and then print your entire piece $uickly and beautifully on your
3haserL color printer .
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!se a standard business letter orat and
teplate
The most widely used format for business letters is block style, where
the te*t of the entire letter is ustified left. The te*t is single spaced,e*cept for double spaces between paragraphs. Typically margins are
about @ inch 8AD.C mm9 on all sides of the document, which is the
default setting for most word-processing programs. 0f you are using
Microsoft Word, you can turn to its built-in 5etter Wi1ard for additional
formatting assistance 8look on the Tools menu9.
This business letter format illustrates the specific parts of a businessletter;
usiness etter $emplate Fields5
6ate5 se month, day, year format, e.g., March B, AE@A or B MarchAE@A
Sender7s Address5 0t is a good idea to include sender's email and url, if
available. +on't include this information if it's already incorporated intothe letterhead design. This will allow customers to find your small
business more $uickly.
Inside Address5 se full name. Mr.Ms. is optional
Salutation5 %e sure to use a colon at the end of the name, not a commaas in personal letters
ody $e(t5 &tate why you are writing. #stablish any connectionmutualrelationship up front. utline the solution, providing proof in the way of e*amples and e*pert opinions. 2roup related information into
paragraphs
Closing 8Call to Action85 &tate what the reader needs to do and what
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you will do to follow up
Signature loc#5 &ign your letter in blue or black ink
Enclosures5 se if you have an enclosure
Carbon Copy5 se if you are sending a copy to additional person8s9
9se a professional tone'
&ave casual, chatty language for email - your printed business lettershould be friendly but more professional. (s &cott ber suggests in his
book ontemporary %usiness ommunication, The business writershould strive for an overall tone that is confident, courteous, and sincerethat uses emphasis and subordination appropriately that containsnondiscriminatory language that stresses the you attitude and that iswritten at an appropriate level of difficulty. That said, be sure to soundlike yourself - you don't want your letter to read as if a machine wrote it.
"rite clearly'
&tate your point early in your letter. To avoid any miscommunications,use straightforward, concise language. &kip the industry argon andinstead choose lively, active words to hold your reader's attention.
rgani1e your information logically; 2roup related information intoseparate paragraphs. 0n a long, information-packed letter, considerorgani1ing information into sections with subheads. "ou may want tohighlight key words to make them pop - this techni$ue is possible withmost word-processing programs and your color multifunction printer .
9se Color $o Emphasi0e "ords In $e(t
0t's easy to put a few words in color to draw attention to them. Iust selectthe type and click the arrow to the right of the Font Color button,choose the color you want, then click the button. r, try highlighting a
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few words in the te*t. &elect the type you want to emphasi1e, then clickthe 2ighlight button. Note; When highlighting parts of a document youintend to print, use a light color such as yellow, light green, or light blue.0f you wish to remove the highlighting, select the te*t and click the
2ighlight button again.
Auto$e(t automates applying color 8or any type style9, which wouldordinarily take numerous clicks or commands. &ay you're creating areport that compares your organi1ation's performance against that ofyour competitor. Word can automatically color your company's nameevery time it appears, making those entries easy to locate.
e persuasive'
#stablish a positive relationship with your reader right away. 0f you havea connection to the reader - you've met before or have a mutualcolleague, for e*ample - mention it in your introductory paragraph.Whether you think your reader will agree with the point of your letter ornot, it is important to find common ground and build your case fromthere.
nderstand your reader well enough to anticipate how he or she willreact when reading your letter. (ddress his or her needs or wishes, or aspecific problem, and then outline your solution. 3rovide proof in theway of e*amples andor e*pert opinions to back up your point. Makesure to maintain a friendly tone.
onclude your letter with a call to action. &tate clearly what yourreader needs to do or believe to achieve the desired solution and thenstate what you, the writer, intend to do ne*t to follow up.
!roofread your letter:
(ll your careful crafting and printing can't cover up spelling or punctuation errors, which leave a lasting negative impression.
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Now that you've learned the secrets of writing an effective businessletter,
Biodata orat
"ae 6
Age 6
#ate o birth 6
Address or counication6
Phone $ Mobile 6Eail 6
Educational %uali&cations6
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;ear
of
passin
g
College >
9niversi
ty >
Institute
$otal
mar#
s ?>
C*!
A
Any other
relevant
informati
on
&& @Eth
OOO
)& @Ath
OOO
2raduation3ost
graduation
(ny other
Please explain gaps, if any
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777
Work e'perience(
(Please enter the details chronologically, including any
period you did not work.
For school teaching experience, include subjects taught
and classes handled in the Job Responsibilities column.
No of
years
@rganisatio
n
6esignatio
n
ob
responsibiliti
es
Any other
relevant
informatio
n
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A a)or achieveent in your work life preferably in the
last &!' years. Mention the challenge, your role, the
process you followed, roles of other key people if any, the
result, and why you consider this an achievement
(use bullet points if possible)
Strengths and Weaknesses(
n the table below, mention ' of your strengths and
weaknesses, giving e0amples as re8uired in the space
provided6
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Sl
no
Strengths Actual E(ample
@
A
B
"ea#nesses Actual E(ample
@
A
B
*obbies $ interests(
Married(
Languages kno+n(
Any other inoration you +ould like to provide6
,portance o Personality in an -rgani.ation
Throughout any organi1ation, different roles re$uire different skill sets
and aptitudes, which are tied to personality. Not every temperament can
be a motivating leader, an engaging front-line customer contact or a
micromanaging organi1ational specialist. #ven an entry-level position
suitable for minimal skills is better filled by a compatible personality
such as one tolerant of repetition and mundane occupation.
rgani1ations are recogni1ing more and more the importance of
personality when looking for candidates to fill ob openings.
Personality /esting
3ersonality testing is more widely used in business than ever. (s of the
year AEEG, the PDEE-million industry of assessing an individual's
disposition has been growing by @E percent each year. With over A,DEE
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personality $uestionnaires to choose from, employers have ample tools
at their disposal to assess the compatibility of a candidate's personality
with a particular ob. Testing is done to give employers a defense against
legal dispute over the allocation of a position companies usingformali1ed testing have a $uantifiable measurement to ustify hiring
decisions that carries more legal weight than the intangible preference of
a hiring manager.
Personality /ypes
There are four basic personality types. ombinations and subtypes e*ist
as well, but generally most people fit primarily in one of the four main
categories. (ction-oriented, obective-focused types get to the point.They sometimes appear cold as they ustify their methods with their
results, but are usually successful. &ocial personalities are dynamic and
friendly, with strengths in motivation and communication rather than
actual task completion. &upportive types shy away from conflict and
decision making, but adapt to change well and are dependable. +etail-
oriented analytical personalities love facts, e*cel at perception and
processing information, but can be critical and pessimistic. #ach basic personality type has strengths and weaknesses. !eeping personality in
mind when assigning a staffer to a certain role allows strengths to shine
while making weaknesses less relevant and impacting.
Eotional ,ntelligence
#motional intelligence is also important in the workplace, and can affect
the manifestation of an individual's personality. While personality is an
inborn behavior inclination possessed by an individual, emotional
intelligence is a skill used by that individual to recogni1e self behaviors
and manage them appropriately according to each situation. 7or
e*ample, a socially-oriented personality with good emotional
intelligence will recogni1e when to step back from motivational
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behavior to allow for productive work-flow and task completion, rather
than being overly communicative and disruptive.
Successul Sta0ng
When building your team or filling a vacancy within your organi1ation,
paying attention to personality traits that will shine in ob roles is not
only prudent it is as important as considering training and previously
ac$uired skill sets. 0nformation and skills can be learned, whereas
personality is ingrained and harder to change. Matching the right
personality, along with the right skills, to each ob improves your chance
of success.
1ear o Public Speaking(
ear of public speaking is the most common of all phobias. 0t's a form of
performance an*iety in which a person becomes very concerned that he
or she will look visibly an*ious, maybe even have a panic attack while
speaking. ver time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding
public speaking or by struggling against speech an*iety. 0n this way,
people get Tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronicand disruptive.
&ome people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in
such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes
they want. (t work, they pass up promotions and assignments which
would re$uire speaking. The fear of public speaking may even lead
people to choose a career that doesn't call for public speaking, rather
than one they want. This is often the case with people who have feared
public speaking from a very young age.
thers don't go that far, but will go to great lengths to avoid making
presentations, or even ust having to speak at a meeting. They may
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deliberately arrive late, hoping to miss the customary introductions
8let's go around and introduce ourselves...9.
Many others will gamely accept an assignment and show up to give a
speech when it's important to their career. %ut they try to get through
those situations without feeling afraid. They focus on what they feel,
rather than on the message they've come to deliver. This is often the case
with people whose fear of public speaking developed later in life. The
more successful they become in their career, the more they are called
upon to share their e*pertise with groups, and the more an*ious they
become.
/he /rick
The fear of public speaking draws upon the same 3anic Trick as other
fears and phobias. 3eople naturally want to rid themselves of public
speaking an*iety before they do any more speaking. %ut they get
Tricked into using methods which actually make the fear of public
speaking stronger, and more persistent, over time.
New patients who come to me for help with fear of public speaking
usually e*pect that 0 will first help them lose their speech an*iety, and
then they will go out and do some public speaking.
0'm usually able to help people overcome this problem. %ut that's not
how you do it. That's how you get TrickedF
/ry this E'ercise
Think of the things you do during a speech, or a brief introduction, in an
effort to feel less afraid. What do you do in an effort to control your fear
of public speaking6
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Take two minutes. Write down all the responses you can think of. Then
come back here.
9hat$s 2n :our ;ist<
7earful speakers 0've worked with have included items such as;
Q 4ead it
Q +on't look at audience
Q 4ush through it
Q &kip portions of my talk
Q Tell myself it'll be over soon
Q 0magine audience in their underwear
Q ough, pretend to have a sore throat
Q se a lot of slides
Q lench fists beneath lectern
Q !eep swallowing, to make sure 0 can drink fluids
Q 5et a colleague do most of the talking
Q Wear my lucky shirt
ne of the first things 0 ask my clients is, specifically, how do you think
these will help control public speaking an*iety6 &o let me ask you to
review this for yourself.
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Take two more minutes to look at your list and identify e*actly how you
think these measures will help you overcome the fear of public speaking.
Write down your answers, then come back here.
9hat =o :ou Think<
)ere's what 0 notice when 0 review this $uestion with fearful speakers.
Their strategies during a speech are designed to;
Q #nd the speech as soon as possible
Q (void any pauses or interruptions during the speech
Q (void contact with the audience
Q )ide the fact that they are afraid
These all involve efforts to resist and fight public speaking an*iety. They
also involve efforts to resist the role of speaker, and to avoid using all
the powers that come with being a speaker.
#on2t Be the !nspeaker3
7earful speakers create trouble for themselves when they don't embrace
the role of &peaker. 0nstead, they try to be the nspeaker. They try to
get through the e*perience without committing themselves to the role
of &peaker. They read, they drone, they overlook the audience, and they
focus mainly on resisting their fear. The result of this resistance is,
typically, that it gives you more public speaking an*iety, not less - ust
the opposite of what you want.
5urrying
4ushing through a talk re$uires that you talk fast. Talking fast interferes
with your breathing. 0nstead of breathing comfortably, you breathe in a
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short, shallow manner, or you might even hold your breath. This gives
you the sensation of running out of air and being unable to breathe, a
common fear in this situation, and one that greatly increases fear of
public speaking.
(ll this hurrying reduces the chance that your audience can enoy your
speech. 0t creates a barrier between you and them, which might have
been your intention, but this will actually increase your fear. The less of
a connection you have with them, the more unfriendly they will seem to
you, and the more speech an*iety you will e*perience.
gnoring the >udience7earful speakers often try to ignore the audience, hoping this will
decrease their speech an*iety. 7or instance, lots of fearful speakers avoid
eye contact with the audience. This prevents you from noticing any
audience reaction. "ou won't notice when people seem more interested,
or have $uestions.
When you have no audience contact, you focus on your own thoughts.(nd if you're a fearful speaker, your thoughts are virtually guaranteed to
be far more negative, and unrealistic, than anything your audience might
think or say. The result6 More, rather than less, fear of public speaking.
?ighting to 5ide :our ?ear
7inally, efforts to hide your fear create the additional fear of being
found out as a nervous person. This only adds to the public speakingan*iety you already e*perience.
0t has another negative side effect. (fter you've given a speech, even if it
has gone well, you may take no pride in your success because of this
thought; 0f they knew how afraid 0 was, they'd think less of me.
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0've worked with many successful businesspeople who, despite their
speech an*iety, actually presented fre$uently and did a good ob.
nfortunately, because of their desire for secrecy, they thought they
were fooling people and never felt satisfaction from their work. 0norder to progress and feel confident, they had to see that they were the
ones being fooled - not the audienceF
Breaking the 4icious 5ycle
"ou can overcome the fear of public speaking, with a game plan based
on three basic elements; an accepting attitude toward your fear, use of
the (W(4# steps, and a willingness to be the &peaker, rather than the
nspeaker.
/he 1ive Steps o AWARE
The five steps to overcoming panic attacks are;
Acknowledge R (ccept
"ait R Watch 8and maybe, Work9
Actions 8to make myself more comfortable9
R epeat
End
5et's take a look at what each step entails.
>cknowledge @ >ccept
(ll progress starts here. This is the most important single step to
overcoming panic attacks.
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Acknowledge
)ere 0 acknowledge the present reality, that 0'm afraid and starting to
panic. 0 won't try to ignore it, or pretend it's not there. 0 won't struggle to
distract myself, tell myself to stop thinking about itF, or snap anyrubber bands on my wrist.
0'm acknowledging simply that 0 am afraid, not that 0 am in danger. The
thought that 0 am in danger is ust another symptom of panic, not an
important or useful thought.
Accept
)ere 0 accept the fact that 0'm afraid at this moment. 0 don't fight thefeeling ask 2od to take it away blame myself, or anybody else. 0
accept, as best 0 can, that 0'm afraid in the same way 0 would accept a
headache. 0 don't like headaches, but 0 don't bang my head against the
wall in an effort to get rid of them, because that makes them worse.
vercoming panic attacks begins with working with, not against, my
panic and an*iety symptoms.
*o+ 5an , Accept a Panic Attack6What makes a panic attack acceptable 8not desirable, but acceptable9 is
that, while it feels awful and fills me with dread, it isn't dangerous. 0t
won't kill me or make me cra1y. &omeone pointing a gun at me, that's
not acceptable. 0 might get hurt or killed. 0f someone points a gun at me,
0 have to do whatever 0 can to change that; run, hide, fight, yell, bribe, or
beg, because the conse$uence of being shot is so terrible that 0 must try
to avoid it.
n the other hand - a policeman giving me a ticket, even if 0 don't
deserve it, 0 can live with that, and can hopefully keep my temper in
check so 0 don't make things worse for myself.
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(ccepting the symptoms, not resisting, is a powerful step to overcoming
panic attacks.
What 5an a Panic Attack #o to Me6
0t makes me feel afraid, that's what a panic attack does. (nd, if 0'm
having a panic attack, 0'm already thereF 0'm already e*periencing the
worst that will happen. 0 ust need to ride it out. That's the surest path to
overcoming panic attacks.
Why should 0 accept a panic attack6 %ecause the more 0 resist panic, the
worse it gets. The more 0 develop the habit of acceptance, the more
progress 0 make toward my goal of overcoming panic attacks.
That's (cknowledge R (ccept. )ow does that compare to what you
usually do during a panic attack6
9ait @ 9atch (and maybe, 9ork)
Wait
What 0 mean by Wait is this; don't ust do something, stand there. 0t's
similar to the suggestion count to ten before you get mad.
ne of the hallmarks of a panic attack is that it temporarily robs you of
your ability to think, remember, and concentrate. This step will buy you
a little time to regain those abilities before you take any action.
When you react before you have a chance to think straight, what do you
do6 0f you're like most people, you probably flee, or struggle. "ou do
things that actually make it worse. This is what people mean when they
say things like 0 know 0'm doing it to myself and the harder I tryB the
orse it gets.
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Iumping into action too $uickly is a big obstacle to overcoming panic
attacks.
&o, even though you have a powerful urge to leave, postpone that
decision for a little bit. +on't tell yourself you (N'T leave - keep that
option open so you don't feel trapped - but put off the decision about
whether or not to leave. &tay in the situation. "ou don't need to run away
to get relief. 5et relief come to you.
Watch
se the occasion to observe how the panic works, and how you respond
to it. The best way to do this is to fill out a panic diary. The diary is a$uestionnaire which helps you notice important aspects of a panic attack,
so you can respond more effectively over time. 7eel free to download
and reproduce it for your own personal use. "ou can also download a set
of instructions.
My patients often report that ust filling out a diary helps them to calm
down. )ow does this work6 0t's not that they're distracted from the
subect of panic, because the diary $uestions are all about panic. 0t helps
you get a little distance from your emotions. 0t works because, while you
complete a diary, you're in the role of an observer, rather than feeling
like a victim.
The best way to use the diary is to fill it out during the attack, rather
than after. 0f you're in a situation where writing is impractical, perhaps
while driving a car, you can; use a digital recorder have your support person read the $uestions to you and record your answers or pull over
for a few minutes to write.
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What About "Work"?
0f you're in a relatively passive situation during the panic attack - a
passenger in a vehicle, getting your hair cut, or waiting in a waiting
room - Wait R Watch is all you need. 0f you're in a more active role -driving a car or giving a presentation - then you also need to attend to
the Work of conducting that activity. +o Wait R Watch, but also
remain engaged in your task.
That's Wait R Watch 8and maybe, Work9. )ow does that compare to
what you usually do during a panic attack6
>ctions (to make myself more comfortable)(t this point, you've already gone through the two most important steps
to overcoming panic attacks.
These steps, and all the steps necessary to overcome panic disorder and
phobia, are covered in much more detail in my 3anic (ttacks Workbook .
9hat$s :our Aob =uring an >ttack<
0t's not your ob to bring the panic attack to an end that will happen no
matter what you do.
"our ob now is to see if you can make yourself a little more
comfortable, while you wait for the attack to end.
)ere are a few techni$ues that my patients have found particularly
useful in overcoming panic attacks.
Belly Breathing
4egardless of what else you do, do belly breathing. 0t's also known as
diaphragmatic breathing, but 0 think belly breathing is more
descriptive. Many people think they know how to do deep breathing, but
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don't do it correctly, so they don't get good results. ( good belly
breathing techni$ue is a very powerful tool in the work of overcoming
panic attacksF
How to Talk to ourself
Talk to yourself 8silentlyF9 about what is happening, and what you need
to do. ne $uestion my patients find very helpful is this; is it 6anger or
6iscomfortD. &ome of the other responses my patients like include the
following;
@. 7ine, let's have an attackF 0t's a good chance to practice my coping
techni$ues.
A. (nswer your what if...6 fears by saying &o what6 0'll get afraid,
then calm down again.
B. 0t's okay to be afraid.
!et nvolved in the #resent
3eople don't panic in the present. 3eople panic when they imagine
something bad happening to them in the future or in the past. This is
why your panic attacks are almost always accompanied by some what
if...6 thought. 0f a dog ust bit my leg, 0 don't say what if a dogbite6.
The reason you say what if...6 is because what you fear is not actually
happeningF
2et back into the activity you were engaged in prior to the attack, and
become involved with the people and obects around you. 0f you're in astore, resume shopping, reading labels, comparing prices, asking
$uestions, etc. 0t will move you closer to your goal of overcoming panic
attacks when you bring your focus and energy back to the present
environment. %y this 0 mean, work with what is around you.
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Work with our Body
0dentify, and rela*, the parts of your body that get most tense during a
panic attack. This typically involves first tensing, and then rela*ing, the
muscles of your aw, neck, shoulders, back and legs. +o not allowyourself to stand rigid, muscles tensed, and holding your breath. That
ust makes you feel worseF 0f you feel like you can't move a muscle,
start with ust one fingerF
That's (ctions 8to make myself more comfortable9. )ow does that
compare with what you usually do during a panic attack6
+epeatThis step is here because you might start feeling better, then feel another
wave of panic. "our first reaction might then be to think h No, it
didn't workF. The 4epeat step is here to remind you that it's ! if that
happens. ust ta#e it from the top again. 0t's not unusual or dangerous.
"ou may go through several cycles, and you ust need to repeat the
(W(4# steps again, as often as you need.
)ow does that compare with what you usually do6
Bnd
This is here to remind you that your panic attack will end that all panic
attacks end that they end regardless of how you respond that it's not
your ob to make the attack end and that your only ob is to make
yourself as comfortable as possible while waiting for the attack to end.
)ave these statements been true for you6 +on't take my word for it.
4eview your own history of panic attacks and see.
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(nd maybe the ne*t time you panic, when you notice yourself thinking,
once again, Will this ever end6, you'll find yourself answering, "#&F