Emotional Intelligence

v. 5.0 20120814

Taming the Caveman in You

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ACTIVITY

Emotional Responses

Think of a recent incident when SOMEONE ELSE you encountered got angry or upset over something you (or your direct reports) did, said, or failed to do. What did they look like? Jot down as many descriptors as you can about what you saw/heard; e.g., “yelling,” “cursing,” etc. Page 3; 1 minute… Pair, share, and compare lists. Check the ones you have in common with your partner. 3 minutes.

p. 3 in PG

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Which of these animals best fits those descriptions?

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How many fit your descriptions?

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Taming the Caveman in You

Emotional threats vs. physical threats. Same response mechanisms. Learn why this is so and implications. Explore what to do to “tame” this caveman in you.

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Presentation Agenda

Define What Emotional Intelligence Is and Is Not Explore How Emotions Impact Our Lives Anatomical Origins of Emotions Identify Two Dimensions and Four Domains of EI Explore How to Develop Your EI.

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PERSONAL REFLECTION Think of Bosses You’ve Had…

What are characteristics of the BEST boss you ever had? What are characteristics of the WORST boss you ever had? Two minutes.

p. 5

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Emotional Intelligence Defined

[Emotional Intelligence] is the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.

--Daniel Goleman, 1998 Daniel Goleman

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Brief History of EI

Term: “Emotional Intelligence” first used by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer (1990). Research in “emotions and human behavior” dates back to 1930’s and ’40’s. EI is grounded in:

psychology, sociology, human anatomy, human development, and human relations.

Peter Salovey

John D. Mayer

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hat EI is… and is not…

It is NOT about being nice all the time. It IS about being honest.

It is NOT about being “touchy-feely.”

It IS about being aware of your feelings and the feelings of others.

It is NOT about being emotional. It IS about being smart with your emotions.

Mirror Neurons

From the emerging field of social neuroscience. Mirror neurons operate like neural WiFi. They replicate in us the sensed state of the other person.

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MORROR NEURONS

The Bride’s Special Dance

Mirror neurons are a neural mechanism that explains “emotional contagion,” especially in the display of strong emotions. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPDXmbaXvgw Do you know those people in the video?

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Valid Feelings?

Are the emotions you felt valid? All feelings and emotions are valid. The behaviors resulting from those emotions may not always be appropriate.

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Four Human Endowments*

Self-Awareness: The ability to stand apart from one’s actions and behaviors, and analyze them. Imagination: The ability to anticipate the future. Conscience: A sense of right and wrong. (Note: This is influenced by culture.) Independent Will: The ability to choose one’s response in any given situation.

Stimulus Response

The Human Gap that separates us

from animals.

*SOURCE: Covey, Stephen R., The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

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“Executive Center”

Limits Options

Source: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/288154-overview

EI Integrates the PFC and the Amygdala.

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Characteristics of Amygdala Hijacking

Amygdala Hijacking: Any situation in which a person responds inappropriately based on emotional rather than intellectual factors. (Daniel Goleman) Strong emotional response Sudden or intense reaction You do, say, or send email about something you later regret.

We get REALLY DUMB!!!

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TOPPING THE HIJACK…

EVENT THINK ACT FEEL

KEY POINT The degree to which you can avoid being hijacked by your emotions in any

given situation is what we measure as

Emotional Intelligence.

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Key Points…

When we need to be at our very best, we are at our very worst! (Patterson, Grenny, et al.; Crucial Conversations, 2001)

Out-of-control emotions make smart people stupid. (Daniel Goleman, 1998)

Stupid is as stupid does. (Forrest Gump, 1994)

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imensions of Emotional Intelligence

Personal Competence pertains to yourself, both recognizing and regulating your own emotions.

Social Competence relates to others, including recognizing the needs and emotions of others, and then regulating one’s own behavior in managing relationships.

--Daniel Goleman

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ompetencies in Goleman’s Model

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Paradox

Emotional Intelligence is important. A class in Emotional Intelligence won’t develop it. But you CAN…

Understand emotions and their impact on behavior; Learn EI concepts and practice effective behaviors; Continually explore how you impact others.

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eveloping Emotional Intelligence

Research EI. Research human emotional needs. Assess (self and 360°). Identify competency strengths and areas to improve. Revisit/create your Career Development Plan. Work with a coach or mentor. Practice, evaluate, practice, evaluate, practice…

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What We Covered Today

Defined What Emotional Intelligence Is and Is Not Explored How Emotions Impact Our Lives Identified the Anatomical Origins of Emotions Identified Two Dimensions and Four Domains of EI Explored How to Develop Your EI.

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Have a Great Day!