education and college lifestyle on the christian family

8/7/2019 EDUCATION AND COLLEGE LIFESTYLE ON THE CHRISTIAN FAMILY

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EDUCATION AND COLLEGE LIFESTYLE ON THE CHRISTIAN

FAMILY

USE ACTIVITY ONE BEFORE THE ACTUAL PRESENTATION

Activity One: Use the relaxation exercise.

Each person, find comfortable seating with both your feet placed firmly on the ground then use

your left hand to draw a clock-wise circle in the air, then use your left foot to make an anti-clockwise circle on the ground without making a mistake or accidentally rotating in the

opposite direction.

USE ACTIVITY TWO BEFORE THE ACTUAL PRESENTATION

Activity Two: Use the photocopies of the perception exercise.

ACTIVITY THREE

Activity Three: This is the actual presentation

Today we will be looking at college life and how it impacts on the Christian family. It is important that

we understand the need for a good education but equally important we cannot over look nor sacrifie theneed for a solid family structure and since the home is the first institution of learning its values andprinciples cannot be over looked and so our topic for this evening¶s presentation speaks about education

and college lifestyle on the Christian family.

In so doing we will be looking at the following sub topics:The importance of proper parenting

A Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ as your personal savior.Handling Peer Pressure

Overcoming fear

Proper Parenting Means Learning Successful Parenting Skills

In terms of proper parenting and successful parenting skills, a father or mother is more than just a person

who loves and cares for his or her children for that tells us nothing about the quality of care. Under the

traditional definition, a father that simply goes to and from work each day and says he loves and cares for his children, but does nothing else to corroborate that love and care, qualifies as a father.

Successful parenting skills are not involved in this definition. From the proper parenting perspective, amore useful definition of a parent might be an adult person who in sharing a heartfelt relationship with a

child, not only serves as a healthy role model for the child, but provides the emotional security and

guidance necessary for that child to experience all the normal childhood developmental stages that lead toadulthood. Hence, proper parenting requires the learning of successful parenting skills.

Adult means the mother or father is a mature and responsible person, that is to say; they have successfully

passed through the various childhood stages and achieved mature adulthood, not only in the legal sense,but, also, in the sense of being able to mentally and physically care for the child. By heartfelt relationship



is meant that there exists an emotional bond on the part of the father and mother with their child, such that

they bond to the child expecting a mutual reciprocative process of bond formation; that is to say, in returnfor their love, the father and mother expect the child's love.

For proper parenting, a father and mother must not only be present so that the child may feel and

experience his or her presence on a regular basis, but they must behave and act in a manner congruous

with agreed upon healthy social behavior and ethics. This requires successful parenting skills.

Emotional security refers to all those factors, too numerous to name, that cause one to feel emotionallysecure, such as the satisfaction of the needs for safety, food, shelter, love, etc. Guidance refers to the

entire process of teaching the child everything he or she needs to know so that he or she may successfully

navigate the stages of childhood to adulthood. Hence, this would include providing the child with a goodeducation, setting social limits and consequences for the child so that he or she may learn to become a

responsible adult, and so on.

Again the guidance required for proper parenting requires the learning of successful parenting skills

In our definition of proper parenting, childhood developmental stages are included, in contradistinction to

human developmental stages, to stress the point they are childhood stages prior to adulthood and not adultstages. Hence, this is to emphasize that play, being part and parcel of childhood, must be encouraged,

protected, and allowed to normally occur, unhampered by too early structured educational programs or by

having to assume adult roles or responsibility. Successful parenting skills protect children from growingup too soon.

The understanding of mother and father, as applied herein, amounts to a working, verifiable, definition of

parental love. That is to say, when a mother and father fulfill the qualities mentioned in this definition,they are demonstrating their love for their child, not just in words, but in proper parenting using

successful parenting skills.

Love is not just a feeling. Feelings of love without action, regarding that feeling, is not love. Hence,

parental love is more than just a feeling of love for one¶s child, but a converting of that love intodemonstrable, conscious, concerted, positive action on behalf of the child¶s life, resulting in a healthier,

happier child. This love does not occur by accident but through learned successful parenting skills. Hence,applying this definition, a father who truly feels he loves his child, but refuses to care for that childproperly, is experiencing, not love, but a love fantasy. The mother who bares a child because she needs

someone to love or someone to love her, is, also, experiencing a love fantasy for she chooses to have thechild to satisfy her own selfish needs for love.

The father, who says to his wife that we must let our child have his/her way because, if we don¶t, s/he willnot love us, is not parenting, because he is not taking responsibility for his child. Extrapolating from thisbehavior, it can be said that the parent who refuses to set limits and consequences for the child because he

or she fears being branded the bad guy and losing the child's love, is, not only shirking their fatherly or

motherly responsibility, but is showing a lack of adult maturity. These people are not really adults, never mind parents, and are apt to raise children who, lacking proper boundaries, have difficulty making

decisions and achieving adult goals.

By not making the tough decisions, such caregivers have chosen to raise children, not for what they can

give their children, but for what their children can give them. From this perspective these mothers and

fathers are not proper parenting at all, but people attempting to get from their children what they failed toreceive from their own mothers and fathers who lacked successful parenting skills.



Summarizing the definition of parent (father, mother, childcaregiver), from the proper parenting

perspective:

y Proper parenting is characterized more by learned successful parenting skills and loving actionsof mothers and fathers toward their children than it is by just having loving feelings, alone, for

their children. A loving feeling is not enough.

y Love for one's child, without proper parenting on behalf of the child, corroborating that love, isnot love at all, but a love fantasy because it does not serve the child, but, only the parent.

y Successful parenting skills are those goals mothers and fathers strive for but frequently provechallenging to fully achieve. Some of the successful parenting skills needed in proper parentingare the following:

1. Unconditional love

2. Parenting with love and logical consequences3. Positive parenting.

4. Regular communication with your child's teacher andseeing to it that s/he develops good study skills.

5. Seeking counseling when parents feel challenged.

6. Remembering the importance of play and humor when interacting with your child and in your own life.

7. Taking the time to pat yourself on the back for trying your best.

A partial summary of proper a parenting plan, characterized by successful parenting skills, is as follows:

y Develop a proper parenting plan and communicate this plan to your children.y Formulate a list of child behavior expectations and consequences.y Have your child participate in the process as is appropriate for her age.

y Communicate and role play these expectations to your child.y Make sure your child understands these expectations by having him explain them and perform

them.

y When a child performs an expectation incorrectly or misbehaves, instead of criticizing him, role

play it the correct way. Then as he performs it, praise him for each part he does correctly. This is

an example of successful parenting skills.y Learn to praise the many things your child does correctly. For every negative comment, be sure

you find three or more positive things to say to your child.y Never lose self-control. Plan for power struggles by not taking yourself too seriously, redirecting

behavior before it gets out of control, switching places with your spouse, taking a time out,

getting upset before you are really upset, seeing the humor in the situation.

y Consistency in adhering to the expectations and consequences you've communicated to your child

is the key to transforming her negative behavior into positive behavior.y Again praise your child for what he already performs well, when he improves at something and

when he genuinely tries.

y Always give a reason for the praise or describe the praiseworthy behavior as follows: "I like theway you picked up every toy in your bedroom, even the ones under your bed, and put them all

neatly in the toy box."



HANDLING PEER PRESSURE

Peer pressure is one of the most difficult things that children have to deal with in schools, colleges and

even later in life.

Peer pressure refers to the term describing the pressure exercised by a peer group in encouraging a personto change his/her attitude, behavior, morals, to µfit in¶ a particular group.

While people are involved in this process of fitting in, they fail to see the consequences of giving in to

peer- pressure. People fail to realize that negative peer pressure not only erodes their own identity butalso is the sole reason for some of the most erroneous choices in their lives. There are several effects of peer pressure that remain to be a matter of concern for several parents and teachers in schools. In

addition to youngsters, there are several people who experience peer pressure later in their lives as well,

for example in work groups.

(ASK THE GROUP TO NAME SOME OF THE WAYS PEOPLE CAN EXPERIENCE PEER PRESSURE)

Lets look at some of the facts about peer pressure: Facts about Peer Pressure

y Peer pressure is most common in students of impressionable age or adolescents, but can also be cited at

later stages in life.

y Children of impressionable age often fail to realize that they are getting into several habits and making

several choices as a result of peer pressure alone.

y Peer pressure is not always negative. There are negative and positive effects of peer pressure. Peer

pressure can be positive if the peers help in changing the person for better.

y Peer pressure can tend to have a diminutive effect on the individuality of adolescents by influencing

their choices in terms of movies, music, fashion and their way of life in general!

y Peer pressure is a serious issue, which can hamper the normal development and growth of a child and

hence is not something, which can be dismissed as a temporary phase in high school, college or even

later in life!

y Peer pressure is sometimes cited as one of the main reasons, which leads to unhealthy habits as well as

deadly addictions like smoking, drinking as well as drug abuse.

y Peer pressure can also lead to involvement in unprotected sex and other harmful sexual acts and can

also lead to issues like teen pregnancy.

y Peer pressure can be overcome with some help from your friends, family and your own determination

to retain your individuality

Positive Peer Pressure

When used in general conversation, peer pressure has a negative connotation. However, positivepeer pressure can actually promote better social development in children. Read more to know

about positive peer pressure facts.



Friendship is one very important aspect of life. Our friends help us explore our world better.

They give us a sense of belongingness and mental security. They help us be a part of the groupand keep us youthful forever. But as we grow, we may get influenced by our friends in a

negative manner. Also, teenage is more vulnerable to the effects of peer pressure. One of the

reasons could be the age itself, when children are searching for their own identity and want tolive life on their own terms. At this age, they tend to have a rebellious tendency towards their parents. So, it is essential for the parents to deal with their children carefully and effectively, so

that they do not feel offended or annoyed. In such peer pressure situations, your child's friendscan play a major role. This is where you can use positive peer pressure techniques for better

personality development of your child.

Children are very close to their friends and they like to be accepted and appreciated by their peers. Also, many a times, they succumb to peer pressure activities, just to feel 'in' or for

confirming to the majority. They try to imitate their friends to show that they are also like them.

Negative Peer Pressure

Negative peer pressure is detrimental to the growth of children in teenage years as it is their mostproductive years of life. This article talks about negative peer pressure.

Dealing with peer pressure in the teenage years is never an easy task. We all get swayed and influenced

by the latest fashion, music, television and movies. And getting influenced by our peer groups is perfectly

normal. However, the way one is getting influenced by a peer group must be taken into account as thatcan lead to various positive and negative consequences. During adolescent years, children can either bepositively or negatively influenced by their friends.

Since teenage is a developing phase, children are immature and so they are not able to differentiate

between "friends" and "true friends". This is where the role of parents and teachers comes into picture.

The child may be falling into the trap of negative peer pressure due to some family problems or he mightnot be getting the desired love and care from his home. There are innumerable contributing factors as towhy adults and teenagers get influenced by negative peer pressure.

Negative Peer Pressure Examples

If you are a teenager, you can yourself understand the various moments when you have been negatively

influenced by your friends. It may be the first time you took a whiff of cigarette that was offered to youby your friend or when you for the first time had a sip of alcohol. Understanding negative peer pressure is

important for teenagers. For instance, remember the first time when you were offered a cigarette in a

group of your friends and you said an emphatic "NO" to the request. However, even after you said no,your friends kept insisting you to smoke. Ultimately, you end up smoking a cigarette for the first time.

Gradually, they ensure that you do enjoy with them every time you hang out with them, and eventually

you end up developing unhealthy habit of smoking. Teenagers must learn to exercise self control andonce if they have made a firm decision as not to do anything that is not allowed by their logic, ethics,

values and heart, they must stick to their decision. The ability to say "NO" is necessary to avoid negativepeer pressure. Read more on effects of peer pressure.

Negative Peer Pressure Facts: Role of Parents



The negative peer pressure statistics are alarming and they show that majority of teenagers who areaddicted to negative habits have been influenced by a peer group who motivated them to do such things.

Kids and children need unconditional love and trust from their parents to get out of negative peer groups.Parents can teach children some positive values like assertiveness, independence and individuality. They

must make children understand the power of saying "No" at the right time.

Children must be trained to stand up for what they believe in so that no external influences can affectthem to a large extent. Parents must find out the root cause of peer pressure in their children like lack of self confidence, emotional problems or academic pressures that are alluring their children to find

solutions of such problems in negative things like alcohol, teen smoking, violence, drugs and in worst

cases, involvement in unsafe sexual activities.

Parents must be aware of the potential of their child and they must help him to get engaged in pursuitsthat nurtures their creative talents. Being involved in pursuits like music, drawing, painting, reading,

writing and sports and other activities helps teenagers to relieve academic and emotional stress. Rightcommunication is the key to help children deal with negative peer pressure group.

Parents, while love is essential to make your child understand that you really care for them, you can't becomplacent to let them be totally free. Imposing necessary restrictions since childhood and training them

to follow it is a very good discipline that parents must develop in their children. The safest and most

adequate method to avoid children from negative peer pressure is a very lovable and supportive family. If the child is getting all love, care, attention and his/her needs are met adequately in the family, he/she will

certainly be able to grow up into a responsible adult and will understand the value of living a balanced lifeand avoiding negative peer pressure.

education and college lifestyle on the christian family

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