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VOLUME THREEI S S U E 2005 .1 5 .14
VOLUME THREEI S S U E 2005 .1 5 .14
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table of contents
7CitizenSoundcheckThe ONLY guide of i ts kind for the NB/SM Metroplex!
13Carpe Canis/Carpe Cattus
I t ’s either your house or the bighouse for these furry orphans.
Hot in the Kitchen The TX Citizen’s Diva of the Dish
gets all custardy and whatnot.
12The County ’sMost WantedLook Mommy! Daddy’s in the paper!
Ask a MexicanGustavo of fends in two languages.
14Best of the WurstResults!
1st WordElection myths debunked,
and Val’s Reality Distor tionField goes into overdrive. 3
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Election MythsAnother election is in the books, and with it, the usual indictments of the electorate have come to the fore, namely:
1) Complaints about low voter turnout, and
2) The claim that if one doesn’t vote, one doesn’t have a right to complain about the government.
As for turnout, we’ve got a population of 60,000 people. Of those 60,000, let’s say – and I’m being conservative here – 30,000 are eligible to vote, after eliminating felons, minors, and those here illegally. Out of those 30,000 residents, 2,710 cast a vote in the Mayoral race. That’s a dang low turnout. But don’t blame the people that abstained. If they thought their vote counted toward their own benefit, they would have voted.
The truth is that no matter who wins an election, the results only matter to the participants in the race, and the people that own a piece of their influence. If you don’t control a politician, there’s no reason to vote for one. (Caveat: There is good reason to vote against a candidate, however, should it become clear that said candidate might drive us all straight to Hell. Check their record for evidence of that.)
The best the public can hope for is for some collateral benefit as the politicians go about rewarding themselves and those with the means to invest in candidates. That’s nothing new; it’s always been this way. What hasn’t always been this way is a changing of the guard through elections. Be advised that we don’t have elections to serve the public interest. We have elections to keep politicians from killing each other. The pols get less than absolute power, but in return they don’t have to worry about somebody poisoning their Toblerones. The voter is irrelevant, as far as the voter’s interests are concerned. You want more turnout? Too bad.
So as Mayor-elect (and Eighth Wonder of the World) Barron Casteel, and Councilpeople-elect Wayne Peters and Leah Garcia are concerned, let’s hope they find a reason that benefits themselves to fire Psychic City Attorney (and ignorer of laws) Madame Val Acevedo, and to put the heat on City Manager Robert Camareno to sack any staff member that attempts to deceive City Council. We recommend Garry Ford get the ax right away, based on his blatant dishonesty when explaining the permit-parking situation that we detailed in our May 1 column (available online at txcitizen.com).
This “Only voters have a right to complain” thing is truly stupid. By that logic, only those who voted for the winner have a right to complain about government because the losing team clearly
didn’t try hard enough. Everyone has a right to
complain about whatever they want, especially government, because government
is force, and we all live under it. And around here, corruption and incompetence are the orders of the day – there’s no indication that who gets elected has an impact on anyone other than the candidates themselves and those close to them. The job of a politician is to (more often than not, falsely) convince you that what’s good for them is what’s good for you. If you voted for anybody without owning a piece of that candidate, or don’t have a damn good reason to keep somebody else out of office, you have truly wasted your vote.
We’ll publish the full list of major contributors to the Casteel, Peters, and Garcia campaigns after they are filed with the City. After all, you’ve got a right to know who’s really going to benefit from your vote.
Acevedo’s RealityDistortion FieldBack in our May 1 issue, we discussed the fact that none of the permit-parking only areas around town ever had the requisite City Engineering studies done prior to their implementation. I once again recommend you look up the May 1 First Word column at txcitizen.com for the backstory. You’ll enjoy it. Pinky swear.
The studies, which assess the need for permit-parking in various areas, are not a suggestion. The are legally required as part of the process. As you’ll see in that article, City Attorney Val Acevedo did her usual shuck and jive, telling City Council outright that they could simply ignore that part of the law when implementing a new permit-only zone near the Faust Street bridge. We maintain that they cannot, and that the fact that the City simply ignored their own law renders all of the permit-only zones within the city limits void. And we’re not just talking here: We’ll cover the legal expenses for the first person cited or towed for violating the permit-parking rules. Money + Mouth. We’re confident of a win.
Continued on next page.
MIKEREYNOLDS
WITH
WORD1ST
The Public Has a Right to KnowBefore Voting in the County Runoff May 27Comal County Commissioner Candidate Dan Krueger has years of public service
to examine in order to determine if he should be elected to County office.
Fiscal Oversight?“Based on what we have learned, it is clear that had the previous administration established and followed proper processes and procedures we would not find
ourselves where we are today.”CISD Superintendent Andrew Kim, March 3, 2014
For the 15 years that Krueger was on the Board, did he exercise appropriate fiscal oversight to make sure that these
kinds of things would not happen so that taxpayer money would be protected from fraud?
Public Health and Safety
Why didn’t Krueger stand up and object to that logic? After all, he told Manford he agreed that a fully sprinkled school
would be safer for the kids.
CISD performed a $200,000 audit in the fall of 2013 and discovered that a contractor over-charged the school district for activities and misspending associated with the 2008 bond to the tune of $7+ million. In the agreement with the contractor, the present school board agreed to a $5.9 million settlement from the contractor, leaving $1.1 million unrefunded. They also agreed NOT to investigate the 2005 bond or prior financial dealings. Why? Even though Dan Krueger has not been on the school board since 2008, he was in attendance at the February 27, 2014 meeting, in which the “deal” was announced to the public.
While on the CISD school board for 15 years, Dan Krueger oversaw the tearing down of a fully fire sprinkled school (Mt Valley Elementary) and its replacement with a new school (Mt Valley MS) that was NOT fully equipped with fire safety sprinklers. Former Superintendent Marc Walker told former Fire Marshal Lin Manford, in a meeting attended by Krueger, that the district didn’t have the money for the full sprinkler system. When quizzed at the meeting by Fire Marshals, why there was money for a million dollars worth of Astroturf, and not a fire sprinkler system, Walker told that group, “That just goes to show you that you don’t have the clout that the booster club does. Don’t quote me on that.”
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Continued from previous page. An interesting situation arose after we
made that offer on our Facebook page at facebook.com/txcitizen. District Two Councilwoman and TX Citizen’s office lessor Aja Edwards posted the following warning for anybody considering that particular bit of civil disobedience. As has become tradition, Edwards was bamboozled by Psychic City Attorney Madame Val Acevedo, whose mind control powers are damn near supernatural. She relies on an “Emperor’s New Clothes” tactic of telling people that hard English language doesn’t mean what it says. People keep buying it. What follows is Aja’s post. (Keep in mind that Edward’s gave me a Wet Willy on election night and I’m frankly still recovering from it. Eww.)
“Just an FYI to anyone thinking of following the TX Citizen’s recommendation to park illegally in the Parking by Permit only zones: I spoke with our City Attorney and the Texas Municipal League’s attorneys, and they both agree that while it’s bad practice for City Council and Staff to not follow our own ordinances, it’s not illegal unless it violates our City Charter. What that means is that even though the City Engineer did not do the study that is in the ordinance, it does NOT invalidate the parking zones. Best practice would be to either amend the ordinance to reflect what the Council feels is needed to enact those zones OR start following our ordinance. I’m still not a happy camper with enacting those zones without a traffic study, but we did not violate the law nor does that invalidate the zones.”
Ok, let’s break this down. First of all, the City Attorney has led Council into any number of losing court cases, and has a long track record of telling Council they can ignore the law and carry on. This practice has cost the taxpayers hundreds of thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees and damages, with no repercussions for Acevedo. There is no reason to think that she would change course now.
The Texas Municipal League is a whole bunch of city governments likely pulling the same stunts for the same reasons. You can’t trust somebody that profits from you getting into trouble to keep you out of it when you won’t really suffer for being found guilty. There’s no accountability for Council, (unlike an individual person, who may actually get punished) and somebody else (the taxpayer) picks up the check for both any prosecution and the defense. Why not go to court?
Here’s where they overplayed their hand. Edwards points out that both Acevedo and the
TML attorneys told her that it’s ok for Council to ignore or violate a City Ordinance, as long as their action doesn’t violate the City’s charter. Let’s see what the City’s charter has to say about that. The emphasis is ours:
Sec. 12.12. Applicability of general laws.The Constitution of the State of Texas, the
statutes of said State applicable to home ruled municipal corporations, as now or hereafter enacted, this Charter and ordinances enacted pursuant hereto shall, in the order mentioned, be applicable to the City of New Braunfels. The City shall also have the power to exercise any and all powers conferred by the laws of the State of Texas upon any other kind of city, town, or village, not contrary to the provisions of said home-rule statutes, Charter, and ordinances. The exercise of any such powers by the City of New Braunfels shall be optional with it, and it shall not be required to conform to the law governing any other cities, towns, or villages unless and until by ordinance it adopts same.
Section 12.12 expressly states that the Charter AND the ordinances are applicable to the City of New Braunfels. The Code of Ordinances then places this restriction on the City:
Sec. 1-7. Altering Code.It shall be unlawful for any person to
change or amend, by additions or deletions, any part or portion of this Code or to insert or delete pages, or portions thereof, or to alter or tamper with such Code in any manner whatsoever except by ordinance or resolution or other official act of the city.
Acevedo will say that they haven’t altered anything – that ignoring and then breaking parts of a law isn’t the same as tampering with it. We hold that that’s the very nature of tampering with a law. She will also say it only applies to “persons” and is therefore irrelevant. Let’s see how the Code defines “persons”:
Sec. 1-2. Definitions and rules of construction.Person. The word “person” includes an
individual, company, firm, joint stock association, corporation, organization, government or governmental subdivision or agency, business trust, estate, trust, partnership, association, and any other organized group of individuals, legal entity or body politic, and includes a trustee, receiver, assignee, administrator, executor, guardian or other representative.
Oops. How will Acevedo get around this one? We believe she’ll redefine the word “government”, but your guess is as good as ours. Just for fun, let’s have a look at the purpose of the Charter. Spoiler Alert: It’s not to grant unbridled power to City Hall:
Sec. 12.14. Construction of Charter.The Charter shall not be construed as a
mere grant of enumerated powers, but shall be construed as a general grant of power and as a limitation of power on the government of the City of New Braunfels in the same manner as the Constitution of Texas is construed as a limitation on the powers of the Legislature. Except where expressly prohibited by this Charter, each and every power under Article XI, Section 5 of the Constitution of Texas, which it would be competent for the people of the City of New Braunfels to expressly grant to the City, shall be construed to be granted to the City by this Charter.
Now let’s have a look at whether the engineering studies were a suggestion or a requirement. This is from Sec. 126-354 (d) of the Code, “Parking by permit only - Establishment of a designated permit area.”:
(2)The city engineer will review all
applications submitted for a proposed designated parking permit area and determine the following:
a. No less than 75 percent of all available on-street parking spaces within the designated area are occupied and remain occupied for a minimum of two hours;
b. No less than 25 percent of all available on-street parking spaces within the designated area are occupied and remain occupied by non-neighborhood vehicles; and
c. The proposed designated parking area is a contiguous commercial or residential use and consists of a minimum of ten commercial or residential lots, except where there are less than ten commercial or single family lots on the entire length of the street, then the entire length of the street may be considered.
The items in red are the ones ignored by Council. Go ahead and read them again, and see if they appear to be optional. Get a second opinion from a four-year old if something seems iffy. I’ll wait. Tic, tic, tic…
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get back to Edwards. Here was her counter to my… counter:
“Mike Reynolds, I maintain that you are giving inaccurate advice here. The City has the right to enforce the parking zones even though part of the ordinance was overridden. It’s similar to a case where a variance is involved. Example: Our City has ordinances that state that a commercial property next to residential property has to have a masonry fence. That owner can
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TML attorneys told her that it’s ok for Council to ignore or violate a City Ordinance, as long as their action doesn’t violate the City’s charter. Let’s see what the City’s charter has to say about that. The emphasis is ours:
Sec. 12.12. Applicability of general laws.The Constitution of the State of Texas, the
statutes of said State applicable to home ruled municipal corporations, as now or hereafter enacted, this Charter and ordinances enacted pursuant hereto shall, in the order mentioned, be applicable to the City of New Braunfels. The City shall also have the power to exercise any and all powers conferred by the laws of the State of Texas upon any other kind of city, town, or village, not contrary to the provisions of said home-rule statutes, Charter, and ordinances. The exercise of any such powers by the City of New Braunfels shall be optional with it, and it shall not be required to conform to the law governing any other cities, towns, or villages unless and until by ordinance it adopts same.
Section 12.12 expressly states that the Charter AND the ordinances are applicable to the City of New Braunfels. The Code of Ordinances then places this restriction on the City:
Sec. 1-7. Altering Code.It shall be unlawful for any person to
change or amend, by additions or deletions, any part or portion of this Code or to insert or delete pages, or portions thereof, or to alter or tamper with such Code in any manner whatsoever except by ordinance or resolution or other official act of the city.
Acevedo will say that they haven’t altered anything – that ignoring and then breaking parts of a law isn’t the same as tampering with it. We hold that that’s the very nature of tampering with a law. She will also say it only applies to “persons” and is therefore irrelevant. Let’s see how the Code defines “persons”:
Sec. 1-2. Definitions and rules of construction.Person. The word “person” includes an
individual, company, firm, joint stock association, corporation, organization, government or governmental subdivision or agency, business trust, estate, trust, partnership, association, and any other organized group of individuals, legal entity or body politic, and includes a trustee, receiver, assignee, administrator, executor, guardian or other representative.
Oops. How will Acevedo get around this one? We believe she’ll redefine the word “government”, but your guess is as good as ours. Just for fun, let’s have a look at the purpose of the Charter. Spoiler Alert: It’s not to grant unbridled power to City Hall:
Sec. 12.14. Construction of Charter.The Charter shall not be construed as a
mere grant of enumerated powers, but shall be construed as a general grant of power and as a limitation of power on the government of the City of New Braunfels in the same manner as the Constitution of Texas is construed as a limitation on the powers of the Legislature. Except where expressly prohibited by this Charter, each and every power under Article XI, Section 5 of the Constitution of Texas, which it would be competent for the people of the City of New Braunfels to expressly grant to the City, shall be construed to be granted to the City by this Charter.
Now let’s have a look at whether the engineering studies were a suggestion or a requirement. This is from Sec. 126-354 (d) of the Code, “Parking by permit only - Establishment of a designated permit area.”:
(2)The city engineer will review all
applications submitted for a proposed designated parking permit area and determine the following:
a. No less than 75 percent of all available on-street parking spaces within the designated area are occupied and remain occupied for a minimum of two hours;
b. No less than 25 percent of all available on-street parking spaces within the designated area are occupied and remain occupied by non-neighborhood vehicles; and
c. The proposed designated parking area is a contiguous commercial or residential use and consists of a minimum of ten commercial or residential lots, except where there are less than ten commercial or single family lots on the entire length of the street, then the entire length of the street may be considered.
The items in red are the ones ignored by Council. Go ahead and read them again, and see if they appear to be optional. Get a second opinion from a four-year old if something seems iffy. I’ll wait. Tic, tic, tic…
Now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s get back to Edwards. Here was her counter to my… counter:
“Mike Reynolds, I maintain that you are giving inaccurate advice here. The City has the right to enforce the parking zones even though part of the ordinance was overridden. It’s similar to a case where a variance is involved. Example: Our City has ordinances that state that a commercial property next to residential property has to have a masonry fence. That owner can
come to council and request a variance from this ordinance, and can be allowed to build a wood fence. Home Rule cities have the authority to override their own ordinances as long as it does not violate it’s own Charter. Again, while I think it’s bad practice, I would not encourage our residents to go get tickets and see what happens. Outside legal advice has said we are legal.”
And here we go again. Per Edwards:“The City has the right to enforce the
parking zones even though part of the ordinance was overridden.”
No part of the ordinance was overridden. It was ignored. Overriding is a legal process. Ignoring is whim.
“Example: Our City has ordinances that state that a commercial property next to residential property has to have a masonry fence. That owner can come to council and request a variance from this ordinance, and can be allowed to build a wood fence.”
That is an example of a law being amended or changed through a legal process, not of a law being ignored.
“Home Rule cities have the authority to override their own ordinances as long as it does not violate it’s own Charter.”
As we’ve shown previously, ignoring an ordinance as written is a violation of the Charter.
“Outside legal advice has said we are legal.”
No, the City Attorney with the history of being flat out wrong said it’s legal, and the lawyers for the organization that the City is a member of, and that the City Attorney gets her legal advice from, have agreed. That is not, under any definition, “outside legal”.
And really, I’ve got to address this thing one more time. How this could not be suspect right on the surface is beyond me:
“…while it’s bad practice for City Council and Staff to not follow our own ordinances, it’s not illegal unless it violates our City Charter.”
In other words, one rule for you, one rule for me. This is beyond madness.
And, as if you needed another example…
Continued on page 10.
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12pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Lesti Huff Band
11am
Daniel Thomas Phipps & Hot Mess
3pm
YOUR LIVE MUSIC GUIDE
8 AD SALES 830.358.2493
Phoenix SaloonHill Country Gentlemenw/ Ian Lee & the Open Hearts9pm
Riley’s TavernThe Georges7pmChuck Meade10:30pm
AJ’s Ale HouseRock & Roll Sing Along Piano Bar Show9pm
Baja BBQ ShackJo Hell5pm
Cheatham Street WarehouseHot Texas Swing Band5pmPardo & Reed9pm
Gruene HallSol Patch1pmCooder Graww/ Casey Berry8pm, $12
NB Farm to MarketPete Williams9:30am
The Pour HausAvalon9pm
River Road Ice HouseBlacktop Gypsy8pm
Tavern in the GrueneTBA9pm
Vineyard at GrueneBroseph7pm
Vino en VerdeThe Vagabonds w/ Yesenia9pm
Sun 5.18Adobe Verde
aTyler Hadlock
6pm
Oma Gruene’s Secret GartenThe Blues Buzzards
2pm
Kim & Her Bad Habits
7pm
Phoenix SaloonJordan Minor
2pm
True Audio Outland
7pm
Baja BBQ ShackSylvia Kirk
1pm
Billy’s Ice HouseDan Adams
8pm
Geronimo VFW #8456Glenn Collins & the Alibi Band
3pm
Gruene HallMusic Jam
1pm
The Pour HausVagabonds
6pm
Vineyard at GrueneSarah Pierce
12pm
TX Renegade
3pm
Mon 5.19Riley’s Tavern
Songwriter Showcase
w/ John Whipple
8pm
Gruene HallMarshall Hood Band
7pm
The Pour HausDillon Myers
7pm
Tavern in the GrueneCourt Nance Accident
8pm
Tues 5.20Watering Hole Saloon
TBA8:30pm
Gruene HallDrew Kennedy & Josh Grider7pm
The Pour HausOpen Mic w/ Jon Magill8pm
River Road Ice HouseScott Morgan6pm
Tavern in the GrueneRoots & Branches7pmThe Blooms9:30pm
Wed 5.21Buffalo Wings & Rings
Steven Roloff & Friends7:30pm
Phoenix SaloonJesse Stratton7:30pm
Riley’s TavernDillon Myers9pm
Watering Hole SaloonJon Magill8:30pm
Billy’s Ice HouseAaron Stephens8pm
Gruene HallPoor J Brown7pm
The Pour HausCody Coggins7pm
River Road Ice HouseThe Motts8pm
Vineyard at GrueneZack Walther6pm
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Fri 5.16
The Continental ClubClub Lineup:
The Blues Specialists, 3:30pm
The Bellfuries
w/ James Hand
10pm, $10
Gallery Lineup:
Robert Kraft Trio, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Cowboy’s DancehallBart Crow
7pm, 21+ $10, 18+ $20
Floore’s Country StoreTurnpike Troubadours
w/ Dirty River Boys
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Luckenbach Dance HallChris Wall
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Brandon Rhyder
w/ Folk Family Revival
9pm, $20
Red Eyed FlySteen, Agave Love, Suitable Mates,
Rob & the Nasty Beat, Bluster
8pm, Outside
R & J Music PavilionTracy Lawrence
9pm
Sam’s Burger JointCarolyn Wonderland
8pm, $15-$60
Stubb’s BBQDana Falconberry
w/ RF Shannon, Devon Sproule
9pm, Inside
Sat 5.17The Continental Club
Club Lineup:
Redd Volkaert, 3:30pm
Golden Dawn Arkestra
w/ Buggaboo
10pm
Gallery Lineup:
Sherah & the Fine Souls, 8:30pm
Mike Flanigin Trio, 10:30pm, $5
Floore’s Country StoreThe Bellfuries
8pm
Luckenbach Dance HallR.O.T. Party
John Evans & Emily Bell
1pm
Mike & the Moonpies
9pm, $10
Red Eyed FlyG Jet, D.I.E. Slow, Da New Kid,
Peter Reed & the Back Road Kings,
The Hazard Hounds, Alesia Lanai, Yung
9pm, Outside
R & J Music PavilionJohn Eric Band
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Sam’s Burger JointSoul Track Mind
w/ Roxy Roca
8pm, $12-$50
Stubb’s BBQWake Owl
w/ Mimicking Birds
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American Legion Post 179
DJFriday Nights, 7pm
Buffalo Wings & Rings
KaraokeTuesday Nights, 7:30pm 21+
TriviaThursday Night, 7:30pm
Dirty’s Bar & Q
KaraokeWednesday Nights, 8pm
Faust Brewing Company
TriviaThursday Nights, 8pm
Old Ice House
KaraokeThursdays, Sundays
DJWednesdays, Fridays, Saturdays
Phoenix Saloon
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Prickly Pear Lounge
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JUNE 13 BBQ Cook-off
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$12 in advance, $15 at the door!Call 830.625.9400 for $25 VIP seating
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Continued from page 5. Kelly Mochel was Wayne Peters’
opponent in the District Five race, right up until she was disqualified for not living at the property she owed in the District. This is important. Here’s why:
Last week, District Six Councilman Stephen Digges moved out of the City of New Braunfels, yet he still showed up to vote at Monday night’s Council meeting. We brought this up to District Two’s Edwards, citing Sec. 3.02 of the all-important, “unbreakable” City Charter, which reads (emphasis ours):
“Each member of the City Council shall be a resident citizen of the City of New Braunfels, shall be a qualified voter of the State of Texas, shall have been such resident citizen of the City of New Braunfels for a period of not less then twelve (12) months immediately prior to election day, and shall not be indebted to the City of New Braunfels; provided, however, that any person with the above qualifications, except as to residence, who shall have been a resident for a period of not less than twelve (12) months immediately preceding his or her election of any of the territory not formerly within the corporate limits of said city, but which is annexed under the provisions of section 1.04 of this charter, shall be eligible for said office. An elected officer must continue to reside in the City of New Braunfels for his or her entire term. If any elected officer fails to maintain the foregoing qualifications, or shall be absent from three (3) consecutive regularly scheduled meetings without valid excuse, the City Council must at its next regular meeting declare a vacancy to exist and shall fill said vacancy as set forth in section 3.06 of this charter.”
Monday was the “next regular meeting”. Naturally, Acevedo told Edwards that the Charter doesn’t mean what all those words say it does, and the issue was dropped. It’s clear that Acevedo has an alternate definition of the word “must” that she’s able to sell to Council. If this gets pushed, one may find that all the votes that Digges took part in Monday may have to be nullified, but I’d settle for a public admission of wrongdoing by City Hall. We’ll see what the Attorney General has to say about it.
What say you? You’ve read the laws. Do they mean what they actually say, or do they have secret meaning that we’re not smart enough to suss out? Decide for yourself, then pick up the phone and let Council know upon which side you weigh in:
Mayor Gale Pospisil (830) 629-2447George Green, District 1 (830) 221-4000 Option 4Aja Edwards, District 2 (512) 426-4231Ron Reaves, District 3 (830) 221-4000 Option 4Sandy Nolte, District 4 (830) 221-4000 Option 4Bryan Miranda, District 5 (830) 837-5178Steven Digges, Former Resident of New
Braunfels and Illegal Council Voter (830) 221-4000 Option 4
Call them all, not just your rep. And while you’re at it, let them know what a poor example they’re setting for the residents of our fair city. When those in power ignore the law, it’s not long before everyone else does as well.
But I’m certain that’s nothing to worry about.
\m/
Mike ReynoldsPublisher/Editor-in-Chief
PS: Early voting in the Precinct Four Commissioner’s run-off begins Saturday, and the polling place has been surreptitiously moved from the location printed on all of the campaign materials distributed thus far. This will invariably lead to confusion and lower than normal turnout. Since Commissioner’s Court made this move just days before early voting, it looks to us like a move to limit turnout, in which case you should vote just to stick it to them.
Remember, if you do decide to vote: Vote FOR the candidate you have a piece of, or AGAINST the one that has a record you don’t care for. The new polling location is the CRRC Rec Center, 125 Mabel Jones Drive, in Canyon Lake on South Access Road.
Your One-Stop DestinationLocated in the heart of downtown New Braunfels, the Historic Faust Hotel & Brewing Company is a one-stop destination offering a variety of house brews and a full bar and restaurant, as well as guestrooms, suites and an event center which feature 1920’s Art Deco design while incorporating modern amenities.
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Enjoy Responsibly© 2014 Shock Top Brewing Co., Shock Top® Lemon Shandy Flavored Belgian-Style Wheat Beer, St. Louis, MO
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Publication: TX Citizen
Dear Opa Esel:You mentioned the Fish Man of the
Forbidden Island in a recent column. Would you please elaborate? I need something for a school history project.
Interested in Local History Dear Interested:I would be glad to.Long, long ago, in an effort to not have
to provide “island privileges” to outsiders, residents of the Boonville Avenue area decided to not marry outside the neighborhood. Over several years time, the inbreeding produced the Fish Man of the Comal.
While several people have sworn to have seen the elusive Fish Man, empirical evidence has been hard to come by. Here are seven things we do know about him:
1) He smokes unfiltered Camels.2) His favorite foods are unfiltered Camels
and cats.3) He wears Abercrombie & Fitch summer
wear, even during the winter.4) Strangely, he doesn’t know how to swim
but plays a pretty good game of basketball. When he loses, however, he tears the net from the rim. If you see a basketball rim without a net, it was likely taken by the Fish Man.
5) He is surly and witnesses claim he often yells, “Get the hell out of here! There is no such thing as a Fish Man! I’m calling the cops”
6) He has a penchant for beer and soda. Unfortunately, after he’s done with his drink, he just throws the cans into the river. In fact, some theorize that most of river debris comes from the Fish Man.
7) He drives a Volvo and is a Taoist fundamentalist.
The Fish Man’s legend has cast a long shadow on New Braunfels. In 1952, local blues artist Glaucoma Slim Slimberger wrote the song “Ballad of the Fish Man Blues,” which was made famous years later by Cream:
Fish Man gonna get ya/Gonna bring you down,Down to the island/Where the police will chase you off under threat of arrest because you’re not supposed to be there, at least according to the residents.
If you do see the Fish Man, however, try
and get a picture, or a least a smoke.Love, K
Dear Opa Esel:Could you tell me something about
Prince Solms? I need something for a school history project.
Need Something, Anything Dear Need:German Prince Karl of Solms-Braunfels
was the founder of New Braunfels. He was also known in Germany as the Creepy Drifter Prince.
After serving time in the cavalry, the Prince fled to Texas in order to avoid authorities after reasons that are still unclear to historians, although it may have had something to do with a ladies’ bathhouse and rude-looking vegetables. This behavior may also have been the cause of his 1841 divorce from his first wife, Luise Auguste Beyrich.
In Texas, Solms intended to build a country, which he wanted to name Karl’s Country What is Named For Karl, but because the German name would have more than 230 letters, he simply named it New Braunfels.
The Prince built this town out of the rugged landscape around the Guadalupe and Comal Rivers with just his vision and the hard work of men Karl kidnapped from Germany and brought to Texas against their will.
While watching the building of his new kingdom, Karl famously quipped, “Get away from the water! Poor people aren’t allowed in my rivers!” The saying became New Braunfel’s motto and is affixed onto its city seal.
While here, Prince Karl began what he hoped would be a castle for his new wife, Maria Josephine Sophie. Dubbed “Sophie’s Castle,” the building would hold several rooms and an enormous ladies’ bathhouse. Sophie rejected the idea. Prince Karl appealed her decision, but it was upheld. He returned to Germany and spent the rest of his life growing rude-looking vegetables. He died in 1845 in a ladies’ bathhouse.
Love, K
Karl Esel is a lifetime resident of our fair city, and is well known for his sage advice on a wide range of topics. If you find yourself perplexed with no one to turn to, send your question to Opa Esel at: [email protected]. Be sure to write “Question for Opa Esel” in the subject line of your email.
ADVICE FROM
OPA ESEL with Karl Esel
12 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 13
MOST WANTED
$200REWARD
COMAL COUNTY ’S
MEDELLIN, JESSE RODRIGUEZMale • 5’07” • 200 lbsDOB: 01/01/1976CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance pg 1 under 1 gram and theft of property under $1500 with 2 or more previous convictions
GARZA,ARNULFO ELI IIMale • 5’11” • 205 lbsDOB: 11/26/1973CHARGE: Theft of property over $1500 under $20,000
JACKSON, REGINALD DEWAYNEMale • 6’01” • 185 lbsDOB: 12/21/1977CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance
JOHNSON, DALE OMAR JRMale • 5’08” • 160 lbsDOB: 10/14/1977CHARGE: Possession of a controlled substance
ACEVEDO, MARIA GUADALUPEFemale • 5’5” • 200 lbsDOB: 05/22/1981CHARGE: Affidavit of surety to surrender for theft property under $1500 2 or more previous convictions
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Female • 5’06” • 130 lbsDOB: 01/09/1969
CHARGE: Theft of
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SCARBOROUGH,WALTER
MERVEL, JRMale • 5’09” • 190 lbs
DOB: 11/06/1958CHARGE: Motion to revoke probation for
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WATSON,BRUCE LYNN
Male • 5’09” • 165 lbsDOB: 10/07/1980
CHARGE: Failure to appear/ motion to
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MCGRAW, ROGER LEE
Male • 5’08” • 140 lbsDOB: 04/05/1985
CHARGE: Motion to proceed with
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The names listed have been released in accordance with the Texas Public Information Act. This is a true and accurate account as of Monday, May 12, 2014 at 8:25 am and may not be current by the time it is read. Do not try to apprehend anyone. These are listings of criminal warrants with the Comal County Sheriff’s Office and are not indicative of guilt or innocence. Officers are to verify the status of each warrant prior to making an arrest. Any person is innocent of wrongdoing unless proven guilty in a court of law.
FOR INFORMATION LEADING TO THE ARREST OF COMAL COUNTY’S MOST WANTED. Callers will remain anonymous. 830.620.3400 - 24-Hour830.620.3411 - Mon-Fri 8am to 5pm
BERMUDEZ, RICARDO MUZQUIZMale • 5’08” • 160 lbsDOB: 09/07/1982CHARGE: Manufacture/ Delivery of a controlled substance pg 1
By Gustavo Arellano
Dear Mexican: So, I had our graphic artist walked out off the room pissed the other day because the publisher asked my opinion over a Cinco de Mayo advertisement they were planning to publish and ended up publishing. The graphic showed a row of chickens with sombreros.
The publisher asked if I thought it was funny or racist. I said, “Racist.” Later, when they decided to put it anyway, the proofreader (who is black) had the same reaction—funny, but it was racist because it played on stereotypes. The graphic artist, who is white, took offense over the observation, asking me if I boycott Mexican restaurants that display sombreros. I don’t go to many Mexican restaurants—not because of the stereotypes but because the food is usually watered down to fit the taste buds of gabachos. Anyhow, my question is: Is it me, or is it that people of non-color just don’t get it?
Graphically Angry
Dear Pocho: The biggest problem here
is that your graphic designer thought putting
sombreros on chickens for a Cinco de Mayo
celebration was clever. He’s not racist; he’s
just a lazy pendejo who deserves to get fired
for his incompetence. But to your point: Of
course gabachos will never think that their
stereotypes of Mexicans are racist—but a
lot of Mexicans also think stereotypes of
Mexicans are hilarious. Hell, how else do
you explain the popularity of this column, or
George Lopez—who just happens to own the
TV rights to this column. Come on, George:
let’s get this fiesta started with tequila shots in
a Canadian casino!
Dear Mexican: It occurred to me that one of the reasons we Mexicans are taking our time reaching our academic potential is an unspoken fear of feminization. There is a phobia that education and the mannerisms that come with it are emasculating. Would you agree?
Brown, Down, and No Clown
Dear Pocho: “What a question!” responds
the Mexican’s go-to Mexican for philosophical
insights into mexicanidad, San Diego State
professor William Nericcio, author of the
scabrous Tex(t)-Mex: Seductive Hallucinations
of the “Mexican” in America.
“My first reaction was that I was going
to write, ‘I absolutely disagree.’ But then
the waves of memory hit me, plunging me
into a fetid pool of negative nostalgia—in
Laredo, Texas, growing up, I can’t count the
times I was called out as a joto, a maricón,
or a ‘puto’ for doing well in school (and
this was in a pretty well-respected Catholic
high school). Now, Laredo in the 1960s
and 70s was not progressive when it came
to gender politics, and you can guarantee
that the homophobic labels tossed at
me and other bookheads was a form of
linguistic emasculations. The only thing that
really saved me was that my love of rock,
alternative media, and comic books gave
me some breathing room.
“I am really thrown by this question—I
don’t think it is so much a ‘fear of
feminization’ as much as it is an embracing
of a macho ideal that will have no truck
with books (because women were not
spending so much time with books and
learning either). Feo, fuerte, y formal was
the mantra of Northern Mexico and South
Texas—a world of ranchers, negocio, and
heat (always the heat). To be ugly (think
Charles Bronson), strong, and formal
(which means you have your shit together,
solid—not necessarily formal, in the English
sense), was an ideal that left no room for
bookish indulgence. This is a great, great
question—as evidenced by my inability to
answer it well!”
Hey, Nericcio: I don’t pay you the
big shameless plugs for a half-assed
answer! Shall I go find another scholar at
Scholar Depot?
Ask the Mexican at [email protected], be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter @gustavoarellano or ask him a video question at youtube.
com/askamexicano!
ASK A MEXICAN!
!
TXCITIZEN.COM 13
Noob Saibot Charlie
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ADOPT A NEW BEST FRIEND TODAY!These furry Texans need a home!
Meet them in person at the New Braunfels
Humane Society, at 3353 Morningside Drive,
or call 830.629.5287 for more information.
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It has been one month since my departure from the heat of Texas to the ocean chill of Alaska, where I am Assistant Chef for The Boat Company! I am working on the M/V Liseron in the southeast part of the state. The days have been long and exhausting with training and readying the boat and galley but it has been worth every minute!
We’ve finally left dock in Port Orchard, Washington for our north bound trip to Sitka, Alaska where we will be taking on our first group of hungry guests. Head Chef April Agee and I have been brain storming and experimenting in the galley for different dishes to add to this week’s menu. This week we rehearsed dinners with our sister boat, the M/V Mist Cove, and this friendly competition was on for the season. I prepared this dessert of Blood orange Crème Bruleé that blew our competition away!
Blood Orange Crème Bruleé• 3cupsheavywhippingcream• ½cupsugar• 1vanillabean,splitandscraped• 1/8tspsalt• 8eggyolks,wellblended• 2bloodoranges• ¼cupwater• ½cupsugarPre-heat oven to 325°. Line baking pan with a cloth and place 12 ramekins on cloth. The
baking pan will need to be filled half way up the ramekins with hot water. I find it easiest to add the water once the ramekins are placed in the oven with cream mixture already in them to prevent spilling.
In a medium saucepan over medium high heat, combine the heavy cream, sugar, vanilla bean with scrapings, and salt. Bring to a boil and reduce heat.
While cream is heating, blend eggs. Gradually add to cream mixture while whisking continually. Once blended and whisked, fill ramekins with cream and egg mixture half way up. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until edges are firm but center is still slightly jiggly custard. Remove ramekins from water bath and place on a cooling rack for about 30 minutes.
For the blood orange topping; slice oranges and trim off the peel. In a small pan over medium heat, reduce water and sugar until a light golden syrup is formed. Toss oranges into the syrup. Top the custard ramekins with the coated oranges. Sprinkle additional sugar on top of the oranges and custard. Caramelize the sugar with a kitchen torch or under the oven broiler. Serve immediately.
Next week Chef April and I will be in the galley bringing you another recipe from beautiful Alaska!
Until next time, Eat, Drink & Be Sherri!
Sherri
© Copyright 2014 by Eat, Drink & Be Sherri. All rights reserved.Sherri Gallagher is a New Braunfels chef who grew up in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she began cooking at the age of 8. This summer Chef Sherri will be sailing on the M/V Liseron which sails weekly from Sitka to Juneau, Alaska. On board, Chef Sherri will be preparing breakfast, lunch, dinner, happy hour hors d’oeuvres, and cocktails for her 20 passengers and crew, so get ready for some amazing new recipes! Chef Sherri can be contacted at [email protected].
Hot in the Kitchen!with Sherri Gallagher
14 TX CITIZEN 14 AD SALES 830.358.2493 TXCITIZEN.COM 15
Half-Off One Entreewith purchase of another entree and two drinks.
One coupon per table. Cannot be combined with any other offer. Expires 5/31/14
Huge Play Area for the Kids • Live Music Thursday-SundayHappy Hour Monday-Friday 3:00-6:30pm
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219 E. San Antonio St • 830.358.7079www.spadowntownNB.com
BEST OF THE
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The Results!
FUNBest Coin-Op Game BarWinner – Freiheit Country Store 28%Runner Up – Scores Sports Bar 22%
Best Sports BarWinner – Bu�alo Wings and Rings 32%Runner Up – Scores Sports Bar 31%
Best Backyard/PatioWinner – The Pour Haus 30%Runner Up – Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten 27%
Best Live Music ScheduleWinner – The Phoenix Saloon 32%Runner Up – Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten 30%
Best Texas MojoWinner – The Phoenix Saloon 27%Runner Up – Freiheit Country Store 21%
Best Pick-Up BarWinner – The Pour Haus 42%Runner Up – The Phoenix Saloon 18%
Best Smelling Retail StoreWinner – Blumen-Meisters Flowers Shop 28%Runner Up – Ludwig’s Leather 26%
Best Place to Hide a BodyWinner – Any Given Fissure on Walnut Ave 47%Runner Up – The Forbidden Island of Booneville Ave 23%
DRINK
Best Beer BarWinner – Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten 24%Runner Up – Bubba’s Big Deck 18%
Best Wine BarWinner – Kork 33%Runner Up – Vineyard at Gruene 24%
Best Full BarWinner – The Phoenix Saloon 21%Runner Up – The Pour Haus 20%
Best Local Micro BrewWinner – Faust Brewing Co’s Golden Ale 38%Runner Up – Guadalupe Brewing Co’s Texas Honey Ale 31%
Best Signature ShotWinner – Phoenix Saloon’s Purple Gecko 21%Runner Up – Infernos Pizza’s Ring of Fire 18%
Best Signature CocktailWinner – Adobe Verde’s Dos Rita 28%Runner Up – Phoenix Saloon’s Pepperita 23%
Best Bloody MaryWinner – The Black Whale 18%Runner Up – The Phoenix Saloon 16%
FOOD
Best Signature BurgerWinner – Freiheit’s Extreme Cheeseburger 24%Runner Up – Phoenix Saloon’s Blue Burger 20%
Best Signature SandwichWinner – Craving’s Envy 23%Runner Up – Oma Gruene’s Chicken Salad 18%
Best Signature PizzaWinner – Bosses’ Herd 20%Runner Up – Infernos’ Scorpion Pepper 18%
Best Signature CupcakeWinner – Two Tarts’ Strawberry Lime 44%Runner Up – Gruene Flour Cupcakery’s Dreamsicle 31%
PEOPLE
Best BartendersWinner – Oma Gruene’s Secret Garten 14%Runner Up – The Phoenix Saloon 12%
Best BaristasWinner – Gruene Co�ee Haus 31%Runner Up – Kora Kora Co�ee 30%
Best Fake JournalistWinner – TX Citizen’s Uncle Esel (Deceased) 68%Runner Up – HZ’s Sheamus O’Groovahan 16%
CIVICS
Most Appalling Abuse of PowerWinner – Disposable Container Ban 74%Runner Up – Justin Carter Case 12%
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TXCITIZEN.COM 15
by Nick RogersIt was a hot and sweltering weekend as the Italians descended upon Austin, bringing foreign ways and superior frozen treats to Texas.
The reason for the assault on the capital was the North America Finals of the Gelato World Tour. Sixteen teams competed against one another under a blazing sun in Austin’s Republic Square to see who could make North America’s best gelato. The top three teams will now go to Rimini, Italy, for a chance to compete in the World Championship.
The event proved to be a culinary education and I learned some important facts during the three-day competition:
1: Gelato is better than ice cream.2: Bacon is an awesome gelato flavor.3: Gelato chefs are a tough breed.
Battling in tough conditionsThe chefs worked consistently during the three-day festival in miserably hot conditions. They would start early in the morning to make and serve gelato to the crowds, which were large. The chefs continued this frantic pace from 9 a.m.-10 p.m. while wearing heavy chef/lab coats.
The kitchen, where the 16 teams made their gelato, looked like a house made for the Bubble Boy before he got a Bubble Wife, had Bubble Kids and needed more room. When he moved, Bubble Boy took the air conditioner with him.
Inside, stern-looking mad gelato scientists worked the machinery, muttering obscenities to themselves in strange tongues. The air was
hot and humid in the tent, but each team pulled it together, every day, all day, and without sweating (a trick I have yet to learn).
What is gelato?Some may say that gelato is Italian ice cream. They are wrong. In fact, ice cream is American gelato. While I have always loved ice cream, I have to say that after my first tastes of real gelato, the Italian treat is superior.
Imagine ice cream. Got it? OK, now imagine ice cream if it was thicker, but so soft you could spread it with a rubber spatula.
Gelato is difficult to make, requiring an array of very expensive and complicated machinery. The frozen confection has less air than ice cream, so it is creamier and richer. Because of this, a little gelato goes a long way.
Also, gelato is not as cold as ice cream, and this helps carry the flavors.
“Because it is not as cold, you can better taste the ingredients,” said Denise Kulisz, owner and operator of Sweet Ginger’s Gelato in Ft. Myers, Fla. “With ice cream, the very low temperature dulls the taste. You don’t get that with gelato.”
Bacon in gelato? Oh, hell yes!Due to the nature, consistency and temperature of gelato, chefs can make a wide variety of flavors.
“In Italy, the best gelato are the ones that use regional ingredients and flavors,” said Valentina Righi, a very, very Italian woman who is vice president of Carpigiani Gelato University. “It’s good to see the same thing being done here in North America.”
One of those flavors was the Candied Bacon, made by Kulisz and partner Gabriele Scarponi, who has been recognized as one of the best gelato chefs in Italy.
“When Denise came up with idea, I thought, ‘Bacon? How is that going to work?’” Scarponi said. “But we kept at it until we got it.”
And get it they did. The blend was bacon mixed into cream gelato with cinnamon and nutmeg. The Candied Bacon was like eating two things that then blended into one. The taste was exquisite. The results of Sweet Ginger’s efforts were best expressed by a young couple tasting the bacony fare:
Boyfriend: Oh, my God! This is so good!Girlfriend: Give me a bite.Boyfriend: No.Another nice flavor was the Goat Cheese
Cashew Caramel, made by Jessica Oloroso of Black Dog Gelato in Chicago. Her flavor, which tasted like cream cheese but better, was recognized by her peers at the competition as their favorite flavor.
Also tasty was the Texas Kulfi, constructed by Houstonian Jasmine Chida of Sweet Cup Artisan Gelato and Espresso. Kulfi blended Texas pecans with Kulfi, an Indian dessert that
contains the spice cardamom. The cardamom is strong spice that blended well with the pecans. It was refreshing and cleansing.
“I wanted to blend traditional East and West flavors,” Chida said. “I find Kulfi a bit too strong and used less cardamom so it wouldn’t overpower the taste.”
However, the flavors chosen to go to the finals in Rimini were:
1). Salted Pecan with Montmorency Tart Cherries and Tahitian Vanilla by James Coleridge and Salvatore Doccarossa, of Bella Gelateria in Vancouver, Canada. Coleridge has won several awards for his gelato, which he seems to enjoy telling people. The concoction was good, but the cherries could overpower the rest of the ingredients.
2). Profumi di Sicilia by Stefano Versace and Francisco Blanco, of Versace Gelateria Italian and Gourmet in Doral, Fla. This one tasted like a kid’s sugary cereal, which isn’t bad if that’s what you’re looking for.
3). Nuts by Austin’s Matthew Lee, who operates the TEO gelato shop. This one was tasty and the flavor reminded me of the bottom of a Drumstick ice cream cone.
Points were split 50/50 between public voting and a professional jury.
The World Gelato Tour is put on by Carpigiani Gelato University, which is loaded with Italians. The finals in Rimini (which is also loaded with Italians) will be held Sept. 5-7.
The crowd gets it gelato on. Gelato is better than ice cream. I'm not going to argue with you about this.
The Candied Bacon made by Denise Kulisz and
Gabriele Scarponi of Sweet Ginger's Gelato in Ft.
Myers, Fla. Dear, Lord, it was delicious.
Gabriele Scarponi shows the fringe bene�ts of being a
good looking, young, charming and successful gelato
chef with a real Italian accent.
Gelato World Tour
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Chuck Meade 10:30pm
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