Download - Trading pain for pain
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Trading Pain For Pain
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Last year, I had the unbelievable luck to get a kidney stone. It was
awesome.
And by awesome, I mean something that made me pray for
sweet death.
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I’d never had one before, and it felt nothing at all like I was expecting it
to. I always thought it would be sort-of a “razor blades when you
pee” kind of thing. Wasn’t the case at all.
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And for those of you who have never had a kidney stone, you
always hear about how freaking horrible they are, now that I’ve had one I can honestly say that
the only reason people say they’re so freaking horrible, is because
they’refreaking horrible.
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It feels like God is raping you in the back.
I don’t recommend them. Unless you’re the kind of person who
enjoys
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the experience of sitting in traffic, and suddenly being aware of a
sound way off in the distance of someone screaming bloody murder, only to look in the
rearview mirror and realize that the person screaming is you.
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And just to add apocalypse to injury, my particular granule of satanic calcium decided it just didn’t quite want to pass into
the cold oblivion of the outside world. So it embedded itself in
my ureter.
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Which means they had to go get it.
I’ll spare you the horrifying details from this point on because
it seems I still seem
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I still seem to think I have some semblance of dignity, but I will tell
you that when I came out of surgery and the doctor showed
me the demon spawn I’d just birthed by cesarean, I apparently flipped it off in my drugged haze.
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Meeting with the urologist in a follow up later on, he gave me some suggestions to keep this
from happening again.
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One of his suggestions was to drink orange juice every morning.
Evidently there are citrins (that’s the word he used) in OJ that keep the
calcium in the kidneys from collecting and forming stones.
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That’s cool. I like OJ. Only one problem…
Citrus juice. Ulcers. Not a good combination.
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Yes, orange juice makes me break out in canker sores like a 15 year old kid’s face the night before a prom. So I’ve learned
in order to avoid extreme pain, I have to do something… that
causes extreme pain.
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Awesome.
I still drink the OJ whenever I can – RAS sucks but kidney
stones are WAY worse – I just make sure to rinse afterward.
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For more details
Visit us @
http://www.cankerboy.com/