Naviga'ngMinefieldsandSurvivingTorren'alWatersonthe
Servant’sJourneyLeadingthroughTransforma2onofHeartand
SoulintoRela2onshipandCommunity
IndianaAnnualRecoveryMonthSymposium(INARMS)
Indianapolis,IndianaSeptember12-13,2017
The Art and Science of Life – a Taxonomy and Perspective
• Naviga'ngMinefields• SurvivingTorren'alWaters• LeadingaServant’sJourney• Transforma'onofMind-BodyandHeart-Soul
• Rela'onshipandCommunity
Historical Overview
• WhyWeAreorHowWeGotHere?
• Wherearewegoingfromhereorwhowillwebewhenweleave?
• Whatarewegoingtodo/behere?
TheStoryI’mMakingUp...• “LifeHack”-‘thestoryI’mmakingup,'"Brene’Brown• “Tellingyourreadingofthesitua'on.”• Admission:“itcan'tbe100%accurate."• “honest,it'stransparent,andit'svulnerable.”• Vulnerability:“bandwidthforpeopletorelateandtrustoneanother.”
• Whenyousay"thestoryI'mmakingup,"Brownsaysthatitconveys"Iwantyoutoseemeandunderstandmeandhearme,andknowingwhatyoureallymeanismoreimportanttomethanbeingrightorself-protec@ng.“(Being“right”vs.being“happy”.)
IndividualIssuesandInternalForces
• IssuesandDysfunc'on• Pre-Occupa'onalHazards• Co-Dependency• BaggageWePack/Carry/Share
Health,Stress,andAddic'on
• Obsessionandcompulsion• “Powerlessnessandunmanageability”• ComplexityofAddic'on:braindisorder,bio-psycho-social–spiritualmalady
• Dis-easeconcept(coreastotalself-centeredness)• Educa'on/Treatment–peersupportcommuni'es• Connec'on:health,mentalhealth,andaddic'ons• StressandDistress/StretchandPanicZones
AnEmergingParadigm
• GreatDepression:theIndividual• The“isms”:alcohol&otherdrugs• HumanDoingvs.HumanBeing• Avoidance/EscapeMechanisms• “Socialacceptability”doesnotequalstability.
EightDimensionsofWellness• Emotional-effective life coping life, create satisfying relationships • Environmental—Good health and occupying pleasant, stimulating
environments that support well-being • Financial—Satisfaction w/ current and future financial situations • Intellectual—Recognize creative abilities and find ways to expand
knowledge and skill • Occupational—Personal satisfaction & work enrichment • Physical—Recognize needs, active physically, nutrition, sleep • Social—Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-
developed support system • Spiritual—Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life • Integrative-Functional-Whole Health & Wellness/Medicine Focus
SelfCare:WordstoPonder
• “BiologyisBiography“• “IssuesareintheTissues”• Valuingandaffirming(usandothers)• Avoidingburnout:enhanceself-caretothrive• Intercept&Redirect,theElevatorMetaphor• BalancingtheWheelMetaphor(VanEpp)• OtherWaystoDetoxifyandStayHealthy?
“TheBasics”:TricksoftheTrade
• Mind-Body-SoulWork• “Spiritualand/or/notReligious”-somethingforeveryoneornothing,whateverworks.
• Readingsacredorhelpfulliterature• IndividualAccountabilityandSupport• CommunityIden'fica'on/GroupBelonging• ServiceWork:servingsomeonebesidesself
HowWe“GetThere”
• Commitment–priori'zingac'on• ReligiouslyajendingtoSpiritual/Other• DailyDisciplineandMaintenance• Wishes,Hopes,andDreams–MaintainingtheVisionswithFeetontheGround
• AppropriateAc'vity,Outlets&Behaviors
IssuesofConcerntoHoldatForefront
• TheImperfec'onofProgress&Prac'ce• Balance,Normalcy,andModera'on• ObstaclesandDistrac'ons:SelfandOther• DailyReprieve:temporarydetoursinevitable• Aktudeofgra'tudeandthanksgiving• “Holdingthetension”andspace,spirit,orpresence.
OutreachandMission:Philosophy,Mo'va'on,&Applica'on
• BodyofCommunity:connectedness,wearethem,andtheyareus?• “GivingGekngorTaking”leadstomeaning,purpose,andserving
somethinglargerthanourselvesorothers.• Trea'ngpeoplewithdignity&respect• “Ajrac'onRatherThanPromo'on?”and/orCoercion• Treatmentand/orPunishment:“both/and,noteither/or• “Carryingthemessage”nottheperson• Workingharderthantheyare,scaffolding,realis'cexpecta'ons• Playingthegame:don’tfeedinto/startit./“Choosebajles
(wisely)”• Meetthemwheretheyareandtakethemwheretheyneedtobe• Cul'va'ngopportuni'es&crea'ngdesireforintrinsicmo'va'on
Limits&Boundaries,Separa'on&Detachment• SekngHealthyLimitsandBoundaries
• Canweseparatepersonal&professionallives?yes&no• “Givingup”vs.“detachw/love”(Al-Anon)• Givingupvs.surrenderandthepeaceofleknggo• Liabili'es&thechallengeoftakingrisksonpeople.• Don’t“knockyourselfout,”literally.• Lovingthem(andus)todeath,literally• It’snotaboutus,notpersonal,we’renotthatimportant.• Everybodyhasaprocess,oursisnotnecessarilytheirs,
butwes'llhavetheauthorityandinfluence.• Don’tloseyourownsoul/familywhile“saving”world.• “Youcanonlydosomuch”
ExternalForces/Occupa'onalHazardsØ Ins'tu'onalBarriers&ResistanceØ Cri'calSystemandOutsideIssuesØ SeeminglyInsurmountableObstaclesØ Occupa'onalHazards:challengingortoxicpeopleand/orenvironments
Ins@tu@onalBarriersandResistance
Ø Whataretheyforyou/group&system?• ManagementPhilosophy• LanguageandApplica'on• Use/abusepower&authority&response
Cri'calSystemandOutsideIssues
• Organiza'ons&IndividualElements• Complexi'esandVariables• Staffingandresources• Safety&securityamidvola'lity/hos'lity
SeeminglyInsurmountableObstacles• Uncertainty&“nega'vecapability”
• “Truthuncompromisingly/raggededges”• Wheredowedrawtheline?• ObstaclesandCatalysts• Losingourbaggageonthisflightisanecessity!
• Proac've,reac'vevs.goingofforballis'c
Occupa'onalHazards• Challengingandtoxicpeopleand/orenvironments
• Turfissuesandpowerstruggles• Officeandpartypoli'cs• Bureaucracy&Budgets/People&Paper• Compe''onvs.collabora'on&compromise
Seeing the Beauty and Changing the Beast
• “TheSystem”• Genera'onalCycles:SocioeconomicFactorsandConstraints
• Overlappingandgapingsystems• Howallofthisaffectsourabilitytostayhealthyandstableandhelpothersdothesame.
Cul'va'ngLifeintheGarden
• CareoftheSelf• CareoftheFamily• CaringforOthers• CaringinCommunity
RealorTrueCollabora'on• “Collabora2onisamutuallybeneficialandwell-definedrela2onshipenteredintobytwoormoreorganiza2onstoachievecommongoals.
• Therela2onshipincludesacommitmentto:adefini2onofmutualrela2onshipsandgoals;ajointlydevelopedstructureandsharedresponsibility;mutualauthorityandaccountabilityforsuccess;andthesharingofresourcesandreward.”
--TheWilderFounda'on(Griffith,2000)
Implementing EBP in CC, NIC/C&J Institute
TrueCommunity• Spinningourwheels:it’shardenoughtomakeadifferencewhenweworktogether
• Don’tcarrythewholeloadyourself.• Goingitalonevs.teamwork&collabora'on-rela'onships
• Standingindifferentpartsofsamefield.• Uni'ngandBecomingOne:mergers,acquisi'ons,andhos'letakeovers
ThinkingBig&WorkingintheTrenches:Incorpora'ngRealis'cExpecta'ons
• Whatisourdefini'onofexpecta'on?• High-low,unrealis'cexpecta'onsisasetup.• Movingtowardrealis'cexpecta'ons• Mostpeoplewillrisetotheoccasion• Whatismypart?Takingownershipandauthority–empoweringthepowerless
Needfor“Greatness”inLeadingandServingwithHeartandSoul
• ThePowerofLeadinginServanthood
• “Servant-Leader”Characteris'cs
• RhetoricalStyleinCompetentAc'on
• FullyHuman&Func'onallySuperior
• GivingAssent,BuyingIn,Ownership,Authen'city–trustandcommitment
“ThePowerofServantLeadership”
“Theservant-leaderisservantfirst.Itbeginswiththenaturalfeelingthatonewantstoserve.Thenconsciouschoicebringsonetoaspiretolead.Thebesttestis:dothoseservedgrowaspersons;dothey,whilebeingserved,becomehealthier,wiser,freer,moreautonomous,morelikelythemselvestobecomeservants?” RobertK.Greenleaf,ServantasLeader,1970
Characteris'csof“Servant-Leader”
• Listening(issomucheasier)• EmpathyandUnderstanding• MoralityandEthics• HealingandWholeness• Awareness&Persuasion• ForesightandConceptualiza'on• CommitmenttotheGrowthofPeople• BuildingCommunity• TrusteesandStewardship
“Theservant,bydefini'on,isfullyhuman.Theservant-leaderisfunc'onallysuperiorbecause(they)areclosertotheground---(they)hearthings,seethings,knowthings,and(their)intui'veinsightisexcep'onal”(32).
TheObliga'on:“Ableservantswithpoten'altoleadmustleadand,whereappropriate,theymustfollowonlyservant-leaders”(35).
Oncewebecomemoreatpeacewithembracingtheinevitable,and
hopefullycometotermswiththeoccasionalorregularchaos,insteadofbecomingunhealthilydependenton,orrelishing,somefalseneedforabsoluteorderandcertainty,wecandogoodthingsthroughthefaithwebuildinourselvesandothersandthestrengthwearegivenfromoutside
us.
“Enchantmentisaspellthatcomesoverus,anauraoffantasyandemo'on(andecstasy)thatcansejleontheheartandeitherdisturbitorsenditintoraptureandreverie...Thesoulhasanabsolute,unforgivingneedforregularexcursionsintoenchantment...Likethebodyneedsfoodandthemindneedsthought.”(ix)
“Re-EnchantmentofEverydayLife.”ThomasMoore
“Enchantmentencouragesthear'sttoworkwiththescien'st,thepoli'cianwiththepriest.Aphilosophyofenchantmentassumesthatpoli'calstrifeandstreetcrimeresultfromananxiouslossofhomeandhomeland,oradryingupofimagina'onandthespiritthatoffershope.Enchantmentinspiresadeepanduncondi'onalcompassion...”(381)
“Forthoseofyouinvolvedintheprofessionofassis'ng(familiesandchildren),thoughthedemandsyoufaceappearlimitless,theimpactyouhavenotonlytranscendsbeyondanypar'cularageorgenera'on,butalsototheindividuals,familiesandcommuni'eshereandnow.Youaretobecommendedformakingsuchaposi'vedifferenceinthelivesofsomany.”(Unknown)
• “Enrichmentofiden'ty”.• “Causalthinkingtostory&character”• WhatistheSenseofUrgency• “Notaprojectofself-improvement.”• Not“problemsolving”but“fosteringdepth,interiority,andqualitytoflourish.
• “Soulisitsownpurposeandend.”• “Inspiresdeepanduncondi'onalcompassion.”
“CareoftheSoul”-ThomasMoore
• “GiwsofDepression”(seefootnotes-H/O’s)• “TheHealingPowersofDepression”• Embracing&movingthrumelancholyvs.“wallowinginthe(insanityor)symptom”
• “Learningfromdepressionwhatquali'esthesoulneeds”
• Howcomfortabledowebecomeinour“dysfunc'on”?Orisitdysfunc'on?
• TheSpiritual-Emo'onalSolu'on
“CareoftheSoul”-ThomasMoore
“Weknowwearewellonourwaytowardsoulwhenwefeelajachmenttotheworldandthepeoplearoundusandwhenweliveasmuchfromtheheartasfromthehead.Weknowsoulisbeingcaredforwhenourpleasuresfeeldeeperthanusual,whenwecanletgooftheneedtobefreeofcomplexityandconfusion,andwhencompassiontakestheplaceofdistrustandfear.Soulisinterestedindifferencesamongculturesandindividuals,andwithinourselvesitwantstobeexpressedinuniquenessifnotinoutrighteccentricity.”
“Therefore,wheninthemidstofmyconfusionandmystumblingajemptstoliveatransparentlife,Iamthefool,andnoteveryonearoundme,thenIknowIamdiscoveringthepowerofthesoultomakealifeinteres'ng.Ul'mately,careofthesoulresultsinanindividual“I”Ineverwouldhaveplannedforormaybeevenwanted.Bycaringforthesoulfaithfully,everyday,westepoutofthewayandletourfullgeniusemerge.Soulcoalescesintothemysteriousphilosopher’sstone,thatrich,solidcoreofpersonalitythealchemistssought,oritopensintothepeacocks’stail—arevela'onofthesoul’scolorandadisplayofitsdappledbrilliance”(Moore,304-5).
“Careofthesoulisnotaprojectofself-improvementnorawayofbeingreleasedfromthetroubleandpainsofhumanexistence.Itisnotatallconcernedwithlivingproperlyorwithemo'onalhealth....”
WhatistheSenseofUrgency?
“Careofthesoultouchesanotherdimension,innowayseparatefromlife,butnotiden'caltotheproblemsolvingthatoccupiessomuchofourconsciousness.Wecareforthesoulbygivingit'meandopportunitytorevealitself,andbylivinglifeinawaythatfostersdepth,interiority,andqualityinwhichitflourishes.Soulisitsownpurposeandend.”
GuidedMedita'on:“TheRiver”• “Peaceisnotexternalortobesoughtaweror
ajained.Livingmindfully,slowingdownandenjoyingeachstepandeachbreath,isenough.”
• “Mouth(neck)yoga,”smiling,flexingthefacialmuscles,walking,andbreathing
• “Dirtydishes,redlights,andtrafficjamsarespiritualfriendsuponthepathofmindfulness.Themostprofoundsa'sfac'ons,thedeepestfeelingsofjoyandcompletenesslieascloseathandasournextawarebreathandthesmilewecanformrightnow...“(KotlerinPeace)
Thankyouforallowingmetosharethisjourney,peacebewithyouall!
Mark Funkhouser Evansville, IN Phone: (812) 449-4343 Email: [email protected]
